Big Technology Podcast with Alex Kantrowitz Episode: Communal Living, Sex, And Silicon Valley's Groupthink Problem — With Ellen Huet Date: November 26, 2025

Overview

This episode delves into the roots and consequences of Silicon Valley’s tendency toward groupthink—despite being a haven for independent, “out of the box” thinkers. Through the lens of communal living, self-actualization programs, and the rise (and fall) of the sex-focused wellness group OneTaste, host Alex Kantrowitz and guest Ellen Huet (Bloomberg features writer and author of “Empire of Orgasm: Sex, Power and the Downfall of a Wellness Cult”) explore how ideologies take root, why people are drawn to communal and cult-like environments, and how these same psychological undercurrents shape the tech industry’s biggest narratives, including the current AI bubble.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Communal Living and Its Role in Silicon Valley Culture

[04:01-08:19]

• Definition & Variations:
  • Communal living refers to “group houses”—co-living spaces where tech workers, founders, and people with shared ideologies live together.
  • Some are more “professionally focused,” like AGI House or HF0 (“a monastery for hackers”), which function as startup incubators.
  • Others are looser, built more around shared lifestyle or philosophical orientation rather than a professional goal.
• These group houses foster deep bonds, trust, and make it “feel much more comfortable like building a company with you.” (B: Ellen, 06:13)
• Notable quote:

  “The bond of living with someone in a communal living situation like that can really create deep connection and trust.” (Ellen, 06:13)

2. The Draw of Self-Actualization in Silicon Valley

[08:40-11:12]

• The Valley attracts ambitious, adventurous people who often seek to “sort out their underlying issues through work.”
• Popularity of personal development programs (e.g., Landmark, Hoffman Process, Tony Robbins, Conscious Leadership Group)—viewed as tools to unlock performance and leadership.
• These programs “help you reassess the stories in your life with the idea that it can help you unlock like a new level of performance.” (Ellen, 10:55)
• Notable quote:

  “There is kind of a whole industry of them... They are all getting at the same thing, which is like, oh, if you can immerse yourself in this intensive experience, you can learn more about yourself and maybe be a more effective leader, more effective professional.” (Ellen, 10:49)

3. The Ideology of Agency

[11:12-15:26]

• A core concept: belief in extreme “agency”—that you can “just do things” and create your own outcomes.
• This “high agency” narrative is especially influential among rationalists and those in AI circles.
• Notable quote:

  “Agency is kind of seen...as a personal quality...being like an agentic person, having high agency…these are all words that, at least to me, read a little bit coded…these people…the world is a place that you can have massive impact on and that you yourself are a highly powerful actor.” (Ellen, 11:56)

• The ideology can be empowering, but also can be twisted into blaming individuals for their own misfortunes, pushing “radical responsibility” to harmful extremes.

4. The Case of OneTaste & Orgasmic Meditation

[16:14-29:13]

• What is OneTaste?
  • Founded in 2004 by Nicole Daedone, OneTaste offered courses in “orgasmic meditation”—a 15-minute partnered practice involving clitoral stroking, pitched as both spiritual and wellness-enhancing.
  • Grew rapidly, gaining endorsements (Tim Ferriss, Gwyneth Paltrow, etc.), and became a massive, multi-city movement.
  • Paralleled a tech startup in structure, including conferences, branded language, and even “group houses” for devoted members.
  • Attracted seekers of meaning, intimacy, and self-improvement—but ultimately, allegations emerged of predatory sales, sexual exploitation, and cult-like control.
• The Descent:
  • Internal teachings around “agency” and “radical responsibility” were weaponized to suppress dissent and rationalize exploitation.
  • “[Radical responsibility]…was taken too far. In many cases there were people…who were so taught this idea that you could never be a victim…when they experienced what they would now call serious exploitation, they had a hard time even calling it that” (Ellen, 36:16).
  • Legal consequences: After investigation and a Federal criminal trial, OneTaste’s founder and head of sales were convicted for forced labor conspiracy (potential 20-year sentences).

5. Groupthink, Ideology & Silicon Valley—The Dangerous Parallels

[34:38-47:00]

• Psychological mechanisms in OneTaste—ideological bonding, pursuit of special knowledge, awe, and mission—mirror the fervor and insularity of movements like AI safety (“doomerism”) or the pursuit of AGI.
• Strong beliefs, isolation from outside perspectives, and sunk costs keep members invested—even as evidence mounts they may be misguided.
• Notable quote:

  “If you really truly in your heart of hearts bought into the idea that AGI was going to…lead to the destruction of humanity in a short time frame, not only is this a belief system that affects every part of your life…there is this natural sense of, ‘well, I just couldn’t talk to my old friends anymore who didn’t worry about AI safety’…” (Ellen, 41:48)

• Fervent belief grants “a sense of awe and wonder” and the thrill of holding “special knowledge,” akin to cult psychology.

6. The Mythology of Silicon Valley Innovation

[49:37-59:45]

• The same groupthink mechanisms underlying cults and wellness movements also drive Silicon Valley’s success—and excess.
• Juicero Anecdote:
  • Tech startup raised millions to build a WiFi-connected juice press, only for Bloomberg to discover you could “just squeeze the packets with your hands.”
  • Example of how narrative, belief, and engineering “stories” can obscure basic reality—even for investors and founders deeply enmeshed in tech ideology.
• Notable quote:

  “Stories are powerful…so many of these companies…The narrative of your company…and even more so if it can tap into these, again, these human desires of, like, I want to feel like I’m on a mission, purposeful. …Sometimes it’s so powerful it can mask something really hollow at the center of a company.” (Ellen, 58:06)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Group Living:

  “The stories never really go too deep into what those are. Maybe because the writer doesn't want to or maybe because it is too complex... But they are core to Silicon Valley's culture.” (Alex, 03:14)

• On Agency:

  “You can just do things…as kind of a rallying cry that, that tries to get people to tap into their agency.” (Ellen, 11:56)

• On the Allure of Belief:

  “There are so many parallels to this pursuit of AGI where like, you want to believe in something…AI is, it's a real technology, totally. But…there is maybe a parallel belief…It's tough to say maybe not.” (Alex, 39:41)

• On The Power & Danger of Storytelling:

  “Part of what makes Juicero an enduring fable of Silicon Valley is that it is so neatly encapsulated in the idea that you can just squeeze it with your hands. Usually it's a lot more complicated than that, but…stories are powerful…Sometimes it's so powerful it can mask something really hollow at the center of a company.” (Ellen, 58:04)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–04:01 – Episode setup, introducing the subject of groupthink and Ellen’s work
• 04:01–08:19 – Explanation of Silicon Valley’s group house culture
• 08:40–11:12 – Personality types Silicon Valley attracts; self-actualization programs
• 11:12–15:26 – “Agency” as ideology; how it's weaponized for success and control
• 16:14–29:13 – OneTaste: origins, practices, and growth; journey from self-improvement to cult accusations
• 29:34–36:16 – Rationale behind “orgasmic meditation”; early warning signs of coercive control
• 34:38–47:00 – How Silicon Valley’s core philosophies can become cult-like (AI doomerism, AGI belief)
• 49:37–51:26 – Groupthink in action; social incentives for ideology in tech circles
• 51:26–54:41 – OpenAI, Anthropic, and the evolution/dilution of founding ideology
• 56:24–59:45 – Juicero anecdote; power and peril of narrative in tech
• 59:45–end – Reflection on narrative’s double-edged sword; closing remarks

Closing Thoughts

The episode frames Silicon Valley’s “groupthink problem” as both a vulnerability and a strength, driven by the human need for meaning, purpose, and belonging. Communal houses, personal transformation journeys, and tech startups all harness the seductive power of belief and narrative—sometimes yielding groundbreaking innovation, other times producing cults, debacles, and blind spots. In the words of Ellen Huet:

“You have to have something of value and to have a story around it that is deeply psychologically motivating to people. That is the combination that can take you really far.” (Ellen, 59:57)

Recommended for: Anyone curious about Silicon Valley’s cultural DNA, the intersections of ideology and innovation, and the fine line between conviction and collective delusion.