BigDeal Podcast with Codie Sanchez

Episode: 8 Tips For Young People (From Someone Who Figured It Out The Hard Way)
Date: January 27, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of the BigDeal podcast is a direct, no-nonsense guide for young people (and anyone feeling stuck or adrift) on how to radically change their lives, kill off their inner weakness, and build habits, mindsets, and inner circles that set them up for greatness. Codie Sanchez—entrepreneur, investor, and reformed journalist—draws from her own “hard way” experiences and a slew of motivational anecdotes and research, sharing eight core lessons on outperforming mediocrity, setting transformative goals, cultivating resilience, and refusing to let comfort, fear, or your social circle sabotage your potential.

Codie's tone is blunt, high-energy, and encouraging, blending storytelling with actionable tips and memorable quotes from figures like Tony Robbins, Michael Jordan, Charlemagne Tha God, and David Goggins.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Starve Your Weakness, Don’t Negotiate With It

• Main Point: Weakness isn’t defeated with motivation—it’s defeated by standards. Ignoring it only makes it grow.
• Insight: Change your self-talk from “I want to” or “I’ll try” to “I have resolved,” so your identity shifts to someone who ALREADY does the thing.
• Practical Example: Codie struggled to get her daily 10,000 steps—until she “resolved” to be that person and started shooting for 20,000 steps, making 12,000 a new norm.
• Research: Referenced the marshmallow test (delayed gratification) and related data—success is often dictated by self-control and the ability to delay gratification.
• 🕒 [06:24] "You don't kill weakness with motivation. You kill it with standards." — Codie Sanchez

2. Your Inner Circle Makes You or Breaks You

• Main Point: The people around you shape your behavior, discipline, ambition, and even your health; audit your relationships rigorously.
• Personal Story: Codie has only two friends left from high school, none from college—she outgrew those relationships because her standards changed.
• Quote:
  • [10:46] “Everybody wants to sit at the table, but not everybody deserves to eat.” — Charlemagne Tha God (via Codie)
  • [13:47] “You don’t rise to your goals. You fall to the standards of those closest to you.” — Codie Sanchez
• Research: Harvard and UC San Diego research shows that social circles affect everything from ambition to obesity (the “proximity effect”).

3. Work Ethic Eliminates Fear

• Main Point: You’re paralyzed by fear not because you are incapable, but because you haven’t earned your own certainty—confidence comes after the work.
• Personal Admission: Codie is terrified by things like learning to code and used those fears to fuel preparation (even hosting company hackathons).
• Quote:
  • [17:45] “Work ethic eliminates fear.” — Michael Jordan (via Codie)
• Lesson: Do what scares you and outwork your anxiety; this is true whether it’s leaving Wall Street for entrepreneurship, or launching a business.

4. Set Stupidly Big Goals

• Main Point: You unlock your potential by aiming absurdly high—goals you never fully achieve end up making your results extraordinary by default.
• Examples:
  • Historical: Napoleon and Marcus Aurelius never hit their goals, but their ambition drove amazing accomplishments.
  • Personal: Codie set a $100 million revenue goal for her company, even though it seemed ridiculous, as a “force function.”
• Research: “Goal-setting theory” by Locke and Latham shows people with hard, specific goals outperform those with easy or vague goals.
• Memorable Moment:
  • [25:12] “If you want to lose five pounds, shoot for 30.” — Codie Sanchez

5. Stop Normalizing Comfort

• Main Point: Growth comes from stress and challenge, not comfort. Too much comfort leads to stagnation, not safety.
• Personal Perspective: Codie is “totally uninterested” in sick days and sleeping in; loving your work is energizing, not exhausting.
• Research: The "comfort crisis"—studies from Mayo Clinic show optimal stress is required for growth.
• Motivational Push:
  • [31:14] “If you feel like you really need sick days and massive time off, you might just need them… or maybe you need to be more curious and go deeper.” — Codie Sanchez

6. Elite Requires Unhinged

• Main Point: To be elite or unconventional, you have to let go of “normal”—sometimes to the point of being unhinged by social standards.
• Especially to Women: Codie demolishes the “soft girl era;” power and savagery can be feminine—women should own their intensity.
• Research: Angela Duckworth’s “grit” research—perseverance outperforms talent or pedigree, especially over long horizons.
• Quote:
  • [36:08] “If you’re unhappy today, go throw up heavier weights than you’re comfortable with.” — Codie Sanchez

7. You Don’t Get Paid to Play—You Get Paid to Practice

• Main Point: The “highlight reel” isn’t what you get paid for—the money comes from the boring, invisible grind.
• Anecdote: People think they’re paid for stage performances; Codie explains it’s the research, revision, and prep that’s valuable.
• Quote:
  • [41:10] “The stage is the reward. That’s dessert. You don’t get paid to eat the dessert; you get paid to be the chef making it.” — Codie Sanchez

8. Stop Pitying Weakness—In Yourself and Others

• Main Point: Coddling your own weakness will keep you average or worse—embrace the discomfort of aspiring to be envied, not pitied.
• Quotes:
  • [44:25] “Everybody pities the weak. You have to earn the jealous.” — Arnold Schwarzenegger (via Codie)
• Codie’s Growth: Used to be hurt by Internet trolls, now finds it amusing—haters focus on you because you’re doing something.
• Example: Cam Haynes (ultramarathon runner), whose motto “Every day means every day” embodies refusal to negotiate with weakness.

9. You Don’t Need Confidence—You Need Curiosity and Consistency

• Main Point: Exceptional achievers are not inherently confident or certain; they’re relentless, always trying to improve, and comfortable with flaws.
• Personal Routine: Codie’s self-improvement comes not from belief she’s special, but from a dogged daily desire to get better.
• Quote:
  • [49:52] “If you’re lost right now, good. That means you’re between versions. Just don’t stay there.” — Codie Sanchez

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You don’t kill weakness with motivation. You kill it with standards.” – Codie Sanchez [06:24]
• “Everybody wants to sit at the table, but not everybody deserves to eat.” – Charlemagne Tha God [10:46]
• “You don’t rise to your goals. You fall to the standards of those closest to you.” – Codie Sanchez [13:47]
• “Work ethic eliminates fear.” – Michael Jordan (via Codie) [17:45]
• “If you want to lose five pounds, shoot for 30.” – Codie Sanchez [25:12]
• “If you’re unhappy today, go throw up heavier weights than you’re comfortable with.” – Codie Sanchez [36:08]
• “The stage is the reward. That’s dessert. You don’t get paid to eat the dessert; you get paid to be the chef making it.” – Codie Sanchez [41:10]
• “Everybody pities the weak. You have to earn the jealous.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger (via Codie) [44:25]
• “If you’re lost right now, good. That means you’re between versions. Just don’t stay there.” – Codie Sanchez [49:52]

Suggested Episode Timeline with Key Segments

• [00:41] – Overcoming the fear of an unfulfilled life; Codie’s origin story
• [03:34] – Lesson 1: “Starve your weakness” (standards vs. motivation, marshmallow test)
• [09:45] – Lesson 2: The impact of your inner circle (Charlemagne quote, social contagion research)
• [16:11] – Lesson 3: Work ethic and fear (Michael Jordan, Codie’s coding anecdote)
• [22:01] – Lesson 4: Set bigger goals (goal-setting theory, moonshot examples)
• [29:56] – Lesson 5: The danger of comfort (comfort crisis, sick days, normalizing effort)
• [35:00] – Lesson 6: Elite is “unhinged” (grit, feminist empowerment, Duckworth’s study)
• [40:42] – Lesson 7: Paid to practice, not to play (the grind vs. the highlight reel)
• [44:24] – Lesson 8: Stop pitying weakness (Schwarzenegger, handling critics, Cam Haynes)
• [49:30] – Final thought: Consistency over confidence, improvement mindset

Final Takeaway

Codie Sanchez strips away any sugarcoating, making clear that greatness is forged by relentless standards, a ruthlessly supportive inner circle, and the ongoing willingness to outwork fear and discomfort. She rejects the myths of overnight success and deserved comfort, advocating instead for setting unreachably big goals, embracing “unhinged” dedication, and never negotiating with weakness.

“If you’re lost right now, good. That means you’re between versions. Just don’t stay there.” – [49:52]

Full send it. No apologies.