BigDeal with Codie Sanchez

Episode #86: 39 Harsh Truths I Wish I Knew In My 20s

Released: August 24, 2025
Host: Codie Sanchez

Episode Overview

On her 39th birthday, entrepreneur and investor Codie Sanchez shares "39 Harsh Truths" she wishes she had learned in her 20s. The episode is a solo rapid-fire guide packed with reflections on business, life, relationships, and personal growth, all delivered in Codie’s signature straightforward style. These lessons aim to challenge conventional wisdom, encourage self-awareness, and equip listeners with actionable advice for wealth, happiness, and resilience.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Choosing Your Hard

• [00:30]
  • "Being poor is hard. Getting rich is hard. Being overweight is hard. Getting fit is hard. Being married is hard. Being single, hard. Every choice in life is hard. If you don't choose hard, your hard will choose you."
  • Insight: Life requires effort no matter what; intentional choices lead to better outcomes.

2. Curiosity & Questions

• [01:10]
  • Reference to Socrates: "Smart people learn from everything and everyone. Average people learn from their experiences. Stupid people already have all the answers."
  • Asking quality questions brings quality answers; don’t assume you know it all.

3. Amateur vs. Pro Mindset

• [01:30]
  • "Amateurs want to do what they love. Pros learn to love what it takes."
  • Do what needs to be done, not just what feels good.

4. Money & Purpose

• [02:00]
  • "After all he's seen, he said to me, I wish you not one penny over $299 million. Reality gets lost somewhere after that."
  • Don’t chase endless millions—focus on meaningful impact.

5. Silence, Boredom, and Distraction

• [02:20]
  • Codie skewers modern hyperactivity: “We’ve weaponized distraction against ourselves… Can’t just walk. Need the podcast. Can’t eat without Netflix numbing the edges. It’s mental fast food.”
  • “Be bored more often. Turn off your phone and your brain turns on.”
  • Guard your focus and mental nutrition.

6. Fitness as a Foundation

• [03:10]
  • "I rarely meet someone super fit who also doesn't work incredibly hard in the other areas of their life."
  • Discipline in one area often leads to discipline elsewhere.

7. Relationships and Character

• [03:30]
  • “If someone you just met is talking shit about their ex…they’ll be doing the same to you next.”
  • “My number one regret in life, not prioritizing my marriage above just about everything. Marrying well is the biggest life hack of all.”
  • Who you surround yourself with, and how you prioritize relationships, shapes your trajectory.

8. Authenticity & Private Reps

• [04:00]
  • “You become the person you want when no one else is watching. It’s the quiet private reps that will never be cheered that actually lead to greatness.”
  • Integrity and self-discipline are built in private, not in front of an audience.

9. Only Take Advice from Doers

• [04:30]
  • “If you don’t want their life, don’t listen to their life advice.”
  • Always vet who you’re learning from; results matter.

10. Inconvenience Yourself

• [05:00]
  • “Show up for those you love even when it’s not convenient.”
  • True relationships require going out of your way.

11. Urgency as a Superpower

• [05:30]
  • “The greatest muscle you can build is urgency. Decrease the time between having an idea and getting it done.”
  • Speed of implementation separates the crowd.

12. Hell Yes or No

• [06:00]
  • "If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no. Period. Exclamation point."
  • Say no often, and be decisive.

13. Understand Leverage

• [06:30]
  • “Learn it so you can spot it… in life and in business. There’s good leverage and bad leverage.”
  • Knowing when you have leverage, and when you’re being leveraged, is critical.

14. Approval & Criticism

• [07:00]
  • “You must learn to be disliked or you will find yourself stuck in a prison of other people’s beliefs.”
  • Progress requires caring less about others’ opinions.

15. Your Inputs Shape You

• [07:30]
  • “Show me your fridge and I’ll show you your health. Show me your books and I’ll show you your goals. Show me your calendar, I’ll show you your priorities. Show me your friends, I’ll show you your future.”
  • Daily choices accumulate into your life’s direction.

16. Action Over Inaction

• [08:00]
  • "99% of people don't move fast enough… Every time you say one day, you cost yourself future dollars."
  • Delay is expensive.

17. Simplicity Wins

• [08:30]
  • “Complexity makes you seem smart. Simplicity makes you money.”
  • Reduce things to their essence for best results.

18. Momentum & Feedback Loops

• [09:00]
  • "The longer something has been successful, the more likely it is to continue…once you get the momentum going, it’s really hard to stop."
  • Start systems that carry their own momentum.

19. Keep Your Word

• [09:30]
  • "Say only what you mean and then actually follow through…keep the most important promises, the ones you make to yourself."
  • Reliability is rare and valuable.

20. Brand and Courage

• [10:00]
  • "The fastest way to build a memorable brand is to pick a fight…Don’t fit in, stand out."
  • Be willing to take a stand and face opposition.

21. Faith & Worry

• [10:30]
  • “Never let your worry be bigger than your faith. God doesn’t give you a seed without provision to grow.”
  • Trust in your potential and act with faith.

22. Self-Consciousness Is Overrated

• [11:00]
  • “Nobody cares about your life. They think about you for one second and then they think about themselves again. So you might as well do what you want. Embarrass yourself. Do the stupid thing. Nobody’s watching anyway.”
  • Don’t let fear of judgment stop you.

23. Start Before You’re Ready

• [11:30]
  • "You are falling behind people dumber than you…Because they’re not afraid to sell and start."
  • Action beats perfection and over-preparation.

24. Long-Term Orientation

• [12:00]
  • “The earlier you plant the seeds, the sooner you’ll eat the fruit…If it’s something you need to do, do the rarest of all things, do it now.”

25. Early Riser Advantage

• [12:30]
  • "Waking up at 5:45am solves 99.9% of daily issues. So wake up early. Like actually early."
  • Productive mornings change the game.

26. Work Hard THEN Work Smart

• [13:00]
  • “Working smarter, not harder, is a beautiful lie. You will not know how to work smart until you’ve worked very hard for an irrationally long time.”
  • Mastery requires grit before optimization.

27. Solve Bigger Problems

• [13:30]
  • "The size of the problems you solve equals the size of your bank account. So solve bigger problems."
  • Big wins require big challenges.

28. Reputation is Currency

• [14:00]
  • “Do not play short-term games with your name...Warren Buffett: If you lose me a dollar, I’ll forget. If you lose me one cent of reputation, you will be fired.”
  • Guard your name as you do your money.

29. Ask More, Talk Less

• [14:30]
  • “The dumbest people I know, they never stop talking. The smartest people I know, never stop asking questions.”
  • Learn by listening, not projecting.

30. Business School is Business

• [15:00]
  • “Don't be intimidated by labels or qualifications. Just get your hands dirty and the rest will follow.”

31. Mindset & Self-Talk

• [15:30]
  • “Don’t always trust your self-talk. Your anxiety is lying to you. You will be fine.”

32. Go Big or Go Home

• [16:00]
  • “If you’re going to do something, go big. Everyone admires courage. No one admires the timid. Failing big is way better than failing small. Do it for the story.”

33. Faith & Work Together

• [16:30]
  • “I’m going to pray like it’s up to God, and I’m going to work like it’s up to me.”
  • Prayers must be matched by work ethic.

34. Comfort is the Enemy

• [17:00]
  • “You’re not too old, you’re just too comfortable. The most addictive drug is comfort. It’s also just never too late to start.”
  • Get uncomfortable to grow.

35. Never Too Late

• [17:30]
  • “I didn’t get married until I was 33. I didn’t make content until I was 35. I didn’t start my podcast until I was 37. At 30, I thought I’d peaked... At 39 I know I’m just getting started.”
  • Milestones can begin at any age.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Choose Your Hard:
  • "If you don't choose hard, your hard will choose you." [00:30]
• On Becoming:
  • "You become the person you want when no one else is watching." [04:00]
• On Simplicity:
  • "Complexity makes you seem smart. Simplicity makes you money." [08:30]
• On Speed:
  • "99% of people don't move fast enough…every time you say one day, you cost yourself future dollars." [08:00]
• On Starting Late:
  • "You’re not too old, you’re just too comfortable. The most addictive drug is comfort. It’s also just never too late to start." [17:00]
• On Reputation (Warren Buffett story):
  • “If you lose me a dollar, I’ll forget. If you lose me one cent of reputation, you will be fired.” [14:00]

Suggested Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------|--------------| | Introduction & Choosing Your Hard | 00:30 | | Socratic Learning and Curiosity | 01:10 | | Amateurs vs. Pros | 01:30 | | Money and Reality | 02:00 | | Distraction, Boredom, Focus | 02:20 | | Lessons on Fitness and Relationships | 03:10 | | Authenticity and Private Reps | 04:00 | | Advice from Doers | 04:30 | | Relationship Effort/Inconvenience | 05:00 | | Build Urgency | 05:30 | | Leverage and Approval | 06:30–07:00 | | Inputs and Your Future | 07:30 | | Move Fast & Simplicity | 08:00–08:30 | | Momentum | 09:00 | | Reputation, Brand Building | 10:00–14:00 | | Failing Big, Mindset, Never Too Late | 16:00–17:30 |

Closing Thoughts

Codie Sanchez caps her birthday episode with an invitation: reflect on your own harsh truths, collect your best lessons, and don’t wait to make a dent in the world. The episode is blunt, energizing, and packed with lived experience—both tough love and practical tactics to get moving, get uncomfortable, and get real results.