BigDeal Podcast Summary

Host: Codie Sanchez
Episode: Nothing and Nobody Will Ever Hurt You Again - After This.
Date: November 3, 2025

Episode Overview

This powerful, candid solo episode features Codie Sanchez sharing the most difficult and transformative lowlights of her life. With the goal of helping listeners embrace failure, get comfortable with hard truths, and build the resilience needed for lasting business and personal success, Codie unpacks her career, relationships, and mindset shifts. Through raw storytelling, she uncovers how setbacks became her greatest teachers, motivating audience members to face their own challenges head-on and become "dangerously" resilient.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Failure As Fuel for Success

• Failure Is the Entry Price: Codie starts with, “You'll make more money once you realize failure is just the entry price to eventual success. Respect is earned, not given.” (00:00)
• Not Getting Into Dream Schools: Rejected from elite universities, Codie attended Arizona State, learned to thrive as a “nobody,” and gained an invaluable chip on her shoulder that fueled her drive.

2. Embracing the “Duck” Mentality

• Calm Above, Paddle Like Crazy Below: Codie repeatedly references the power of staying collected externally while working ferociously behind the scenes.
  • Notable quote: “Stay cool on the surface, baby. Paddle like hell. Never apologize for trying really, really hard.” (01:35)

3. Early Career Setbacks & Chips on the Shoulder

• Unexpected Breakthroughs: Her first real job opportunity happened not through traditional channels but by asking questions fearlessly at a finance conference.
• Feeling Different: She was a “public school nerd sorority girl” among Harvard/Stanford peers and felt immense imposter syndrome.
• Burn from Colleagues: Her division head told her, “Your colleagues think that you would leave dead bodies behind you to get ahead,” due to her intensity (11:05). This temporarily crushed her.

4. Turning Rejection Into Opportunity

• Losing Out Led to New Paths: After a painful setback at Vanguard, Codie was recruited by Goldman Sachs: “A chip on your shoulder so big it fuels bigger than any backpack.”
• Life among the Privileged: Codie describes her culture shock joining the finance elite (“We summer somewhere”), and battling both rejection and self-doubt.

5. Self-Promotion and Workplace Maneuvering

• Navigating Gatekeeping: She discusses being overlooked for promotions and the importance of self-advocacy: “What I learned… is half the time it’s not what you know, it’s who you know and even more, who knows you.” (16:00)
• Unapologetic Self-Promotion: She observes the success of those who aren’t afraid to promote real accomplishments.

6. Proof of Work Over Proof of Resume

• State Street Entry: Unable to break in through traditional means, Codie built full business plans for roles she wasn’t qualified for, suffering multiple rejections before finally landing a job (21:00).
• Respect Is Earned: Early struggles as a manager taught her “respect is earned, not given,” and sometimes “you need to have a little bit more dangerous of a demeanor.” (26:10)
  • Anecdote: Her first firing (of “Ryan”) was uncomfortable, but necessary for leadership maturity. “If you want to make crazy amounts of money, you’re going to have to do something irrationally difficult.” (28:35)

7. Navigating Personal Upheaval

• Divorce and Professional Isolation: Her divorce was followed by professional ostracism: “All the rest are dudes. Who do you think they like more? Spoiler. Not this one.” (37:00)
  • Nasty email from a colleague: “You are dumbing down the firm. That’s the part that I remember more than anything else.” (38:50)
• Leaning into Side Hustles: Discontent and isolation sparked her journey into entrepreneurship and company acquisitions.

8. Standing Up Against Intimidation

• CEO Showdown: After growing public with her successes, Codie faces corporate pushback: “At this company, we get rich quietly, Codie.” (42:00)
• Pushed Out, Leveling Up: Getting forced out led her to raise $100 million, becoming a true partner, not just a player.

9. Hard Choices & Building “Armor”

• Buyout Battles: She discusses the pain and necessity of paying a million-dollar settlement to a partner to move her business forward (52:00).
• Bigger Shoulders, Heavier Burdens: “You shouldn’t ask for an easier path. You should ask for the ability to shoulder more.” (55:40)
• Prayer for Strength: “Give me the strength and confidence to believe that this is possible for me. Give me the ability to do this task or … learn how to handle [the problems I have].” (56:40)

10. Entrepreneurial “Head in Hands” Moments

• Nearly Losing Everything: Codie describes discovering her company was weeks from bankruptcy due to another’s mismanagement:
  • Advice from her father: “You’re not in the game if you haven’t had that moment … If you haven’t felt completely lost … you aren’t taking big enough risks.” (59:00)
• Failure Is a Teacher, Never a Final Result: “That thing in front of you at this moment that you think is going to break you might actually be the thing that is going to catapult you to the next level of the game.” (01:01:00)

11. On Embarrassment and the Importance of Growth

• Austin Butler Quote:

  • “Embarrassment is an underexplored emotion. Go out there and make a fool of yourself. Go for it. Like, feel that feeling, the fear of cringe.” (30:51)

• Codie Sanchez on Change:

  • “Don’t be scared about failing. Be scared about looking back at yourself 10 years from now and thinking, I haven’t changed at all.” (31:05)

• Kobe Bryant Quote:

  • “If you fail on Monday, the only way it’s a failure on Monday is if you decide to not progress … failure is non-existent.” (31:27)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Sometimes a chip on your shoulder is worth more than a pat on the back." – Codie Sanchez (02:50, recurs throughout)
• "Respect is earned, not given. I wasn’t deserving of respect." (00:11; repeated at 26:10)
• On being underestimated: “He told me, ‘Your colleagues think that you would leave dead bodies behind you to get ahead.’” (11:05)
• “The reason for your success will be a bad former boss.” (18:10)
• “Proof of work, not proof of resume.” (20:45)
• “Your bank account is a reflection of the difficult decisions that you’ve made and the difficult conversations that you’ve had.” (28:40)
• “Having a job is hard. Having a business is hard. Choose your hard.” (55:00)
• “You shouldn’t ask for an easier path. You should ask for the ability to shoulder more.” (55:40)
• “If you haven’t felt completely lost … you aren’t taking big enough risks.” (59:00)
• “Take the big leap. Do the thing. Because the only real failure is never actually trying.” (31:05)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – Episode intro; redefining failure and respect; early academic setbacks
• 05:55 – Breaking into first significant job; lessons in humility and hustle
• 11:05 – Crushing rejection at Vanguard; learning the true meaning of being “too driven”
• 15:45 – Joining Goldman Sachs and the culture shock of extreme privilege
• 18:10 – Importance of self-promotion and navigating corporate gatekeeping
• 21:00 – Daringly creating “proof of work” to land jobs at State Street
• 26:10 – Early management failings and uncomfortable but essential leadership lessons
• 37:00 – Divorce, ostracization, and launching entrepreneurial ventures from a low point
• 38:50 – “You are dumbing down the firm” – handling workplace hostility
• 42:00 – Pushback for being “public” with success; forced out, leveling up as a partner elsewhere
• 52:00 – Million-dollar buyouts and the personal cost of business progress
• 55:40 – Mindset shift: Don’t wish for less hardness, wish for broader shoulders
• 59:00 – The entrepreneur’s “head in hands” moment and stakes of real risk
• 01:01:00 – Final reflections; failure as the lever for future success
• 30:51 – (Clip) Austin Butler on exploring embarrassment
• 31:27 – (Clip) Kobe Bryant on learning from failure

Final Takeaways

• True transformation and success demand facing and embracing painful failures and challenging moments.
• Maintain relentless work ethic, humility, and self-advocacy—often more valuable than credentials or privilege.
• Don’t fear difficult conversations; your income is directly proportional to their frequency and gravity.
• If you’re struggling now, your current crisis may be preparing you for the next level—if you keep going.

As Codie puts it:
“Take the big leap. Do the thing. Because the only real failure is never actually trying.”

This summary delivers the emotional honesty, motivational flavor, and tangible insights Codie Sanchez brings to her podcast, guiding listeners toward using their failures as stepping stones to becoming truly unbreakable.