BigDeal Podcast with Codie Sanchez

Episode: "You Aren't Alone Enough"
Date: February 3, 2026

Overview:

In this powerful, introspective solo episode, host Codie Sanchez explores the vital and often misunderstood role of solitude in personal and professional growth. Drawing on timeless insights from philosophers and psychologists like Carl Jung and Nietzsche—as well as her own experiences—Codie argues that our inability to be alone is at the core of much modern unhappiness, burnout, and inauthenticity. Through practical exercises and memorable anecdotes, she provides listeners with actionable tactics to become less reactive, more creative, and genuinely powerful by embracing solitude and choosing oneself.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Power of Withdrawal and Presence ([00:00])

• Controlling the Room through Silence:
  Some of the most powerful people are those who control a room by being quietly withdrawn, causing others to pay attention and seek them out, rather than being loud or constantly available.
• Solitude as a Prerequisite for Creation:
  Echoes through history’s greatest minds—Nietzsche, Bukowski, Jung—solitude (long walks, isolated work, strict routines) is essential for deep thought and impactful creations.

Quote:
"When you stop becoming available, the world reacts. It wants to latch and grab on and pull you in. And that is when you attract."
— Codie Sanchez ([00:20])

2. Learning from Jung: Individuation and Wholeness ([02:40])

• Jungian Theory Explained:
  Codie breaks down Jung's concepts:
  • Ego: Conscious identity
  • Persona: Social mask (roles/titles)
  • Shadow: Repressed/disowned parts (anger, ambition, vulnerability)
  • Anima/Animus: Our inner opposite, unintegrated traits
  • Self: The true, integrated center (conscious + unconscious)
• Individuation:
  Process of aligning ego with the self, moving from societal roles to authentic identity—not self-improvement, but self-integration.

Quote:
"The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are."
— Carl Jung (via Codie, [05:20])

• Shadow Work:
  Owning your inner darkness (anger, ambition, vulnerability) so it no longer sabotages you.
• Energy Leaks:
  Being "too available" allows others to drain you emotionally, leaving you depleted.

3. The Cost of Authenticity & Solitude’s Social Price ([09:55])

• Letting Personas Die:
  Fully embracing yourself means disappointing others and shedding outdated roles—often a lonely process but essential for growth.
• Solitude vs. Loneliness:
  Jung distinguishes between being alone (solitude for creativity and integrity) and being lonely (alienation due to inexpressible inner truths).
• Choosing Yourself:
  The journey to wholeness is about active choice, not passive victimhood.

Quote:
"I am what I choose to become. I am not what happened to me, a set of circumstances, but a choice."
— Codie Sanchez ([11:43])

4. Practical Tactics: The Inner Boardroom Exercise ([16:45])

• Codie’s Jungian “Board Meeting” Method:
  • Identify major inner voices in any tough decision: The Visionary (optimistic, ambitious), The Operator (practical, risk-aware), The Protector (fearful, cautious).
  • Let each voice speak uncensored—journaling a page for each.
  • Step back and synthesize as "the chair" of your inner board.
  • Make a deliberate, integrated decision rather than letting "the loudest mood" run your life.

Quote:
"Imagine if every time you had a big decision, you could call an emergency board meeting, but the board was entirely in your own head—not psychosis... but dialogue."
— Codie Sanchez ([18:19])

5. Myth, Philosophy, and Modern Life ([20:30])

• Nietzsche on Solitude:
  Solitude is not deprivation but power. The truly strong are those who'd rather be alone than tolerate mediocre company or run on “shared scripts” of the crowd.

Quote:
"If I'm going to spend time with you, you better be better than spending time with myself."
— Nietzsche (paraphrased by Codie, [20:50])

• Modern Tech and Constant Feedback:
  Spanx founder Sarah Blakely as a case study: She built alone, resisting the urge for endless validation, which Codie sees as increasingly rare and valuable.
• Writing as Solitude:
  Maintaining a newsletter or journal is a form of deliberate solitude—original thought develops away from instant reactions.

6. Facing Yourself: Burnout, Identity, and Midlife Crisis ([27:36])

• Burnout as Shadow Suppression:
  Burnout happens when we live against our nature for too long, suppressing real drives (ambition, anger, creativity).
• Midlife/Quarter-life Crisis:
  Crises signal it’s time to update identity, not disasters but opportunities.
• The Dangers of Over-Identifying with Persona:
  When external validation and roles are overemphasized, the “correction” becomes severe—emotional breakdowns, feeling lost.

Quote:
"There is no coming to consciousness without pain."
— Jung (quoted by Codie, [28:36])

7. Codie’s Solitude Practices ([28:50])

• Weekly Solitude Block:
  Schedule 1-2 hours per week with no phone, meetings, or distractions—just you and your thoughts (journaling, walking, reading hard material).
• The Self-Contract:
  Write an annual, one-page contract stating the type of person you choose to be (identity statements, not goals), review it frequently.
• The Balcony Exercise:
  In emotional chaos, visualize pulling yourself up to an imaginary balcony overlooking your own battlefield—observe, don’t react.

8. The Value of Actualization Over Potential ([29:57])

• Stop Waiting—Build Evidence:
  Actual shipped work, courageous decisions, and finished products matter more than endless talk or unfulfilled potential.

Quote:
"Potential is worthless. Everyone has potential. What separates the greats from the wannabes is reality—finished work, shipped products, written pages, solved problems. Stop talking about what you could do and go create proof of what you did."
— Codie Sanchez ([30:10])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Shadow Work:
  "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." — Codie quoting Jung ([06:22])

• On Social Withdrawal:
  “Individuation does not just shut out one from the world, but gathers the world to oneself.” — Codie paraphrasing Jung ([08:55])

• On Burnout:
  "Burnout is actually your psyche saying, 'I cannot keep carrying what you refuse to acknowledge.'" — Codie Sanchez ([27:55])

• On Choosing Yourself:
  "At some point, you are going to have to be the one to say no to the applause, to disappoint people, to let old versions of your life die." — Codie Sanchez ([29:28])

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Topic/Quote | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00 | The power of quiet presence and the importance of solitude | | 02:40 | Jungian theory: Ego, persona, shadow, individuation | | 09:55 | The cost and necessity of authenticity & choosing yourself | | 16:45 | The “Inner Boardroom” decision exercise | | 20:30 | Nietzsche on solitude and the danger of the crowd | | 22:40 | Sarah Blakely: Innovation through alone time | | 27:36 | Burnout as identity/ambition suppression, midlife crisis | | 28:50 | Weekly solitude, self-contracts, and "balcony" visualization| | 29:57 | Doing the work—value of execution over potential |

Tone and Final Thoughts

Codie maintains her signature honest, direct, and slightly irreverent tone, frequently “kicking listeners in the shin” with raw philosophical truth, and urging them to stop seeking validation, embrace necessary solitude, and take meaningful, self-integrated action. The episode concludes with a call to build not just wealth and community, but a “better brain and life,” encouraging listeners to turn inward and choose themselves as the foundation for making a true impact on Main Street and beyond.

For Listeners

This episode is a rallying cry for those who feel overwhelmed, reactive, or uninspired. Codie’s practical framework, philosophical depth, and engaging stories equip you to transform isolation into your greatest competitive advantage—personally, professionally, and creatively.