Transcript

A (0:02)

I can be insanely grateful for the three kids, but then also feel like I have too many kids. My motherhood doesn't look like that.

B (0:10)

No.

A (0:12)

I'm very blessed, but I'm also, like, stressed out sometimes.

B (0:15)

Yeah.

A (0:16)

Address the connection that your mind draws between your behavior and shame. Once you separate yourself from being ashamed of any behavior, good or bad, you are free.

B (0:32)

Welcome back to the bilfpod, where authenticity trumps authority. My name is Mara Dorn, and I am the host of the Bill Pod. And if you haven't already hit that, like, subscribe and obviously, come on, tell a friend. But today's guest is very, very special. Really A jack of all trades. She's a pharmacist by trade, but her real passion is now content creation, which is super exciting. We have so many parallels. And she is right now unapologetically who she is. And you know what? I love that for her. So welcome to the show. I'm super, super excited to have you. Are you so excited?

A (1:08)

I'm so excited to be here. I literally, when your team reached out, I was like, they want to talk to me.

B (1:14)

Yes, Ms. Carla, we want to talk to you. Welcome, girl. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

A (1:19)

Thank you.

B (1:20)

So we are going to dive in. I know that you are a pharmacist by trade, which is super cool, but we've already decided that we're not going to talk about that. We're going to talk about. Well, we can talk a little bit about that. Just tell us a little bit about your background and. And where, you know, what school you came from and, like, what made you get into the pharmacy field.

A (1:36)

Okay.

B (1:37)

Become a pharmacist, I should say.

A (1:38)

So I went to Auburn University. That's where I met my husband. And I told my 10th grade chemistry teacher that I wanted to be a pharmacist. And she really, you know, mentored me and all of that. I made the mistake of telling my mom, and she wouldn't let it go, even when I tried to change. You know, maybe I want to be a nurse or maybe I want to be an actuary. Like, I just had all of these ideas in college, and my mom would always be like, no, you said you were going to be a pharmacist. So when I got through, like, my fourth year of undergrad, my boyfriend at the time still had another year, and it was going to be like, well, if I don't go to pharmacy school, my parents are going to make me go home because, you know, they were paying for me to be in school. So if I'M not in school, I've got to go. And so I said, well, I'll just sign up for pharmacy school just so I can stay in Auburn another year. Problem is pharmacy school was four years and my boyfriend was only there for one. Oh no. So long story short, I mean we went long distance, made it work and we're now married for 16 years. But at the time it was just kind of a short sighted way to get to stay at Auburn, which is to me the best school in the country, the most fun college campus that you could ever be on. And I just wanted to be there.

Summary

Podcast Summary: BILFPOD

Episode: The Unapologetic Mother: Dr. Karla Lee on Power, Parenting & Presence
Host: Mara Dorne
Guest: Dr. Karla Lee
Date: February 12, 2026

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode centers on unapologetic motherhood, personal and professional reinvention, and embracing authenticity. Host Mara Dorne chats with Dr. Karla Lee, pharmacist-turned-content creator and advocate, exploring her life journey, motherhood’s messy reality, and the importance of separating shame from behavior to achieve freedom and happiness. The discussion is candid, humorous, and relatable, embracing the chaos of family and work while challenging the expectations placed on women.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Dr. Karla Lee’s Journey: From Pharmacy to Advocacy

Background & Education
- Karla shares how her early aspiration to be a pharmacist was pushed by family, especially her mother’s insistence (01:37). She attended Auburn University, driven partly by wanting to stay near her boyfriend (now husband).
Career in Hospice Care
- Found deep fulfillment in hospice pharmacy work:
  
  “It is such a privilege and honor to be in conversations around someone’s transition.” (03:32)
- Emphasizes the positivity and meaning in hospice, countering common assumptions about sadness (05:04).
Corporate Challenges & Resilience
- Describes experiencing workplace bias and a toxic superior at United Healthcare/Optum, leading to her internal transfer (07:11–11:45).
- Explains advocating for employees, aiming to say “yes” and help people access their benefits (12:03–13:16).

2. The Realities of Motherhood

Rejecting Perfection
- Karla's content began from a desire for honesty about the chaos of motherhood, in contrast to “Instagram motherhood” (13:32; 13:53).
- Both she and Mara discuss never achieving “balance”—always just prioritizing and “winging it.” (14:51–15:01)
Relatable Parenting Moments
- Talk of scrambling through daily life, mismatching kids’ outfits, and feeling like “a mom in a boat with holes constantly.” (15:01–15:38)
- Acknoledger of chaos with three kids, siblings’ rivalries, and different parenting for each child by birth order (16:03–17:53).
Navigating Technology & Modern Childhood
- Confessing to less control over youngest kids’ screen time and digital exposures (19:01–19:45).

3. Content Creation, Authenticity, and Community

Origin of Karla’s Platform
- Sought a safe space to express motherhood’s truths, feeling her support system sometimes dismissed her feelings due to “privilege." (19:51–20:25)
- Yearned for her mom’s presence and emotional support, beyond material or practical help (20:44–20:51).
Shame and Behavior
- Addresses shame as a barrier to personal freedom and authenticity:
  
  “Once you separate yourself from being ashamed of any behavior, good or bad, you are free.” (43:57)
- Discusses cultural pressure for mothers to be only grateful and not vocal about their simultaneous stress. (14:05, 13:53)
Imposter Syndrome
- Both reflect on “imposter syndrome” as presenting a perfect surface while struggling below, like “a duck paddling frantically under the water.” (24:14–24:55)

4. Advocacy in Parenting and Schooling

Fighting for Neurodivergent Kids
- Karla details her commitment to public schools for her neurodivergent children due to the support structures private schools lack (504, IEPs). (25:21–26:29)
- Shares stories of advocating assertively at the school board level, balancing self-doubt and determination (26:29–29:22).
Cultural Double-Standards & Gender Roles
- They discuss societal tags like “rude” or “aggressive” when women are assertive, contrasting responses if a man made requests (40:13–41:39).
- Both are comfortable with some gender roles at home but emphasize partnership and fair division of labor (41:13–42:43).

5. Finding & Defining Purpose Beyond Titles

Vision for the Future
- Karla’s dream is to foster a community of “unapologetically high maintenance women,” who know their value, ask for what they deserve, and refuse to be shamed for high standards (39:32–40:23).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On the Chaos of Motherhood:

“I can be insanely grateful for the three kids, but then also feel like I have too many kids. My motherhood doesn't look like that.” — Dr. Karla Lee (00:02, 13:53)
On Authenticity and Freedom:

“Once you separate yourself from being ashamed of any behavior, good or bad, you are free.” — Dr. Karla Lee (00:16, 43:57)
On the Myth of Having It All Together:

“When you see a duck on the water, it's like gliding smoothly. But if you ever had a camera to go underneath, they're like fighting for their life.” — Dr. Karla Lee (24:14)
On Imposter Syndrome:

“Everybody's swimming the same way… Everybody's feet are moving two times faster than their bodies.” — Dr. Karla Lee (24:29)
On Building Community:

“My big vision for myself is to build a community of women that are unapologetically high maintenance… that will walk into any room and expect the best because they deserve it.” — Dr. Karla Lee (39:32)
On Gender Norms at Home:

“I do believe in gender roles… at the heart of a family someone has to be that nurturing side.” — Dr. Karla Lee (41:41)
On Letting Go of Shame:

“No mistake that I've made reflects on me as a person; it's just like, where I was at the time, I made the best decision with the information I had.” — Dr. Karla Lee (22:19)

Timestamps for Major Segments

[01:37] — Karla’s path into pharmacy and family influences
[03:32] — Positivity in hospice work
[07:11–11:45] — Workplace injustice & internal career moves
[13:32–16:20] — Honest motherhood, chaos, and the myth of balance
[19:51–22:19] — Building a truthful platform, privilege and pain, destigmatizing behavioral shame
[24:14–24:55] — “Duck on the water” analogy, imposter syndrome
[25:21–29:22] — School advocacy, being a “difficult parent,” advocating for children
[39:32–40:23] — Vision: "Unapologetically high-maintenance women”
[43:57] — Dr. Lee’s advice: Shame vs. behavior

Closing Advice

“My biggest piece of advice would be to address the connection that your mind draws between your behavior and shame. Once you separate yourself from being ashamed of any behavior, good or bad, you are free.” — Dr. Karla Lee (43:57)

Where to Find Dr. Karla Lee

Blog: threelittlelee.com
Social: TikTok, Instagram, Threads, Facebook — @ThreeLittleLee

This episode is a must-listen for any parent, working woman, or anyone interested in the messy, wonderful struggle of showing up authentically in all parts of life. Dr. Karla Lee embodies the “Boss I’d Like To Follow” spirit—real, unfiltered, dedicated, and driven to lift herself and others up.