Rob Schneider (2:27)

No, no, this is Urbana. This is A guy from Australia. I got a new seat for you. I'll send it to you. You're going to love it.

Bill O'Reilly (2:33)

Very spiffy. A few months ago, I went to Madison Square Garden to see you and Sandler, a bunch of other comics, and I was struck by the rapport that you and him have. You guys go way, way back.

Rob Schneider (2:49)

Well, the. The thing about performance, particularly whether it's live sketch or movies, it's. You know, comedies are. It's. It really is sink or swim. And if it's going well or not going well, you got to have somebody in the camp there who's going to do something to make it work. And I just remember I was talking to my friend John Cleese, who's a wonderful. He's. He's on the other side. The other. Yeah, From. From Monty Python. Right. He said, could you tell me about your friend Adam Sandler? What's he doing? And what. And he said, he's making movies now. They're. They're not. He's doing more dramas. And I paused and he said, because. And I was about to say, because. He wants to work with interesting directors. And I said, because. And please cut me off. He said, because it's easier. But he said, the word you're looking for is easier.

Bill O'Reilly (3:36)

And it is.

Rob Schneider (3:37)

I mean, the dramas are. Because people don't complain about a drama. Like, how'd you like a drama? Well, it would seem pretty dramatic, whatever. But if you go see a comedy and you don't laugh, that is a disaster. That's when you really look bad. So comedies are definitely more of a risk. And so you want to be out there with somebody who. When you pass them ball.

Bill O'Reilly (3:55)

Yeah.

Rob Schneider (3:55)

You know, he's got.

Bill O'Reilly (3:56)

But it's also a support group that you have. You got Spade and Miller and Carvey, all the SNL alums. And you guys still hang together. You still talk to each other all the time, right?

Rob Schneider (4:08)

Yeah. You know, to me, the guy who was the most talented that I, when I grew up was, as a young comedian, was seeing Dana Carvey. Dana Carvey. He wasn't even famous nationally, but in San Francisco, you could not get in to see him at a club, and he would. The room would explode with laughter. And, you know, we were pretty good at the time ago. We're good, but we can't do that. So you had guys like that. And then, you know, Dennis Miller came in and he was a Pittsburgh comic, and so there was. He was the guy from Pittsburgh. You got to see this guy, and he really Was he would take an idea and really find the logic in it. And one particular joke that was, to me was great. He said, you know, they got. Hey, cha cha. He said, they got this guy, Jack Ruby. How did he get in the parking garage? What. What kind of security they have there? It's like, hey, Sheriff, the guy owns a local titty bar. He wants to come in. Yeah, let him in. He's got a. He's got a gun. Let him in. So I just, you know, that kind of idea, which.

Bill O'Reilly (5:10)

Well, all of you guys are not normal. I'm sorry, I don't want to offend you, but you're not normal.

Rob Schneider (5:15)

Yeah. I think, though, that you're right. There was a certain.

Bill O'Reilly (5:18)

There's that edge there, that floating around in your mind that just comes out in a way that engages people.

Rob Schneider (5:26)

Well, it's kind of. I think it's a problem with. I think it's the original attention deficit disorder where you. You. You can't concentrate, so you'd focus on something really funny, but just for like a minute of it or 30 seconds of it, or maybe even less, and you take that, and then you'd find a joke there. Like, I remember my brother because I grew up in San Francisco, right below San Francisco, when that used to be, before it was, you know, the. The I call San Francisco. It's either a. It's either a homeless disaster or a gigantic camping success story. But before that, when it was still a beautiful city with 10,000 restaurants, before COVID my brother called me and he said, rob, you got to come down the waves. You know, you got to come because we used to surf. They're fantastic. I said, I just woke up. I'm a comedian. I just. Literally, it's two in the afternoon.

Bill O'Reilly (6:13)

You bothering me for.

Rob Schneider (6:15)

And he said, no, dude, dude, dude, you gotta. And I said, I can't. I just woke up. He said, dude. And I went like. And then he said, any, dude? And I just said, did he just say the word dude with three different meanings intact? And so the joke that just came to me, you know, there's. The word dude is like the Polynesian word aloha. It has more than just one meaning. You can use it to say hello to people, Dude. It's also used to mean listen or come here, dude, dude, dude. But its most important meaning is, you blew it, dude.

Bill O'Reilly (6:44)

Right?

Rob Schneider (6:45)

The punchline is are you. It could also mean, are you in the closet with a knife, dude.

Bill O'Reilly (6:50)

Now, what was it like growing up in a family? Nothing.

Rob Schneider (6:53)

By the way, you saw Me, I got nothing on the punchline there, but you say, I'm sorry.

Bill O'Reilly (6:58)

I'm almost Larry King in here thinking about my own. My next question. What's it like growing up with a Jewish father, a mother's half Filipino.

Rob Schneider (7:09)

Yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (7:09)

Right. I mean, you're a United nations down there in the suburb of San Francisco.

Rob Schneider (7:17)

Well, it was really great because we lived in a place that money didn't really matter. Everybody was. It was definitely the suburbs. This is. We were the end of the baby boom, and it was a really great time in America. So you know where. And we were actually, you know, we had Filipinos, There were Jews. And the Filipinos are. They assimilate. And that's why the Filipinos are so successful. Most people don't know this, but the highest earners in America, Filipino Americans, they average 93,000 per cap. And so that's. And you don't hear about it because they don't want you to know. Rob, don't tell anybody, please. Let the black and white people kill each other. We're going to be okay in the suburbs. So. But they really do well because they assimilate. And when you get somebody from over the Philippines, the. They'll marry into the culture, they'll meet people, they'll become part of the culture, and they'll definitely know and learn the language. So that was what I really grew up with. And I also grew up with somebody who appreciated America like you wouldn't believe. I remember my mom. Anyone who said anything against America, she had two words for them. Get out. You don't like America? It's the greatest country in the history of the world. We have freedom and opportunity. You have no idea what it's like. Get out.

Bill O'Reilly (8:28)

Yeah, because she was in the Marcos era over in Philippines, you watch the Japanese, then you go into the Marcos people. It's rough.

Rob Schneider (8:36)

Well, you have people that are. I don't know if people understand the. How incredibly rare it is to not have a caste system. A caste system where you're born into a particular strata in the society and you're not able to get out. The English have the best phrase that I know. The man does not know his place, so play his place. So you're there and you're gonna stay there. And I remember my mom telling me, she said, even the maids in the Philippines have maids. Poverty just. It's an ever descending level of poverty there with no bottom. And in America, very uniquely, you can have a comedian like me who's Filipino, who's Jewish and can work his Way up and get to a place from your talent and from being successful. This society allows that opportunity, but it also allows that opportunity for people like from Somalia to come over here, go to maybe the, the most naive state, Minnesota, and completely take advantage of these people. And, and that's, that is a potential problem of our society that I think is new. And we have to wake up to interesting. Like the Jew, the Jews, the Jew side of the family had really good jokes. It was really cool because uncle Norm, Norm Applebaum, who changed his name to Appel, you know, hiding I guess a little bit. But my dad never liked that. But that he changed his name. But he never told him to his face. But so, you know, be proud that you're Jewish. So the. They would go around and everyone would have to tell a joke, stand up and tell a joke. And you knew that going in. So you also, you wanted to tell a joke. You'd have to have a joke and also get a laugh. And so that was big. And my dad was a big laughing person. Had comedy albums and Jewish humor was really. Yiddish humor specifically was really important.

Bill O'Reilly (10:25)

And it's a tough crowd. You better have a good joke.

Rob Schneider (10:27)

You better have a good joke. And then the Filipinos on that side, no jokes, just good food.

Bill O'Reilly (10:31)

That's right.

Rob Schneider (10:32)

And nice people. Robert, they never talk about themselves as Filipinos. Robert, tell me about how was your day? Robert, what are you up to? So they were very sweet. So it was nice to have both.

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Bill O'Reilly (11:39)

I saw you in the Madison Square Garden, I showed with Sandler. You did a riff where you used an Asian voice.

Rob Schneider (11:50)

Yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (11:51)

Hysterical.

Rob Schneider (11:52)

Thank you.

Bill O'Reilly (11:52)

And I'm going, he's going to get nailed for this, the political correct cadre going to come after the crowd didn't. The crowd was into. Was a different crowd, a younger crowd. But you were violating every tenet political correctness by using this voice.

Rob Schneider (12:14)

Well, the, the idea of it is to push the audience so that you can challenge them. Those are always the best comedians. George Carlin would come out and, and really attack the audience in a sense, but to do it from a place of calm and also from a place of logic and a place to show the absurdity. You know, like, you think you have rights, you don't have rights. You think you have rights. And, and I really enjoyed that. But the key to remember is always to get laughs. But if I'm not challenging the audience or pushing mores, you know, and challenging them, then I'm not doing my job. But the thing is, you could offend them. I swear, when I did some. I mean, probably the most offensive thing that Adam Sandler had me do.

Bill O'Reilly (12:59)

Forced you to do it.

Rob Schneider (13:00)

And he forced me to. I didn't want to do it, I swear. No, it was in Chuck and Larry where I played an Asian minister. And it really was. The makeup was out at Breakfast at Tiffany's. I mean, if I, I wouldn't do it again today, honestly. But the guy who did the makeup was a Japanese guy named Kazu. And Kazu was a great artist and he worked with this guy named Rick Baker, who's the guy who's the most, most incredible Academy Award winning artist for makeup. He's the guy who did, you know, the American Werewolf in London. So this Rick Baker is a genius. So this is a guy who's. His best worker he ever had. This guy's an artist. So Kazu, the Japanese guy, he made the makeup. And I said, well, if he likes it, it should be fine. But I almost got censored by the Asian American community. Community. But luckily, because I'm Asian enough, you got in. I got.

Bill O'Reilly (13:48)

We're in the club a little bit.

Rob Schneider (13:49)

But. But that, but the idea is to make fun of everybody.

Bill O'Reilly (13:51)

But. But my point, my larger point is that it's harder today to do the edgy stuff because you got all these people offended every two seconds about everything.

Rob Schneider (14:00)

I think so. But I think the, the. There's a fairly interesting thing that this comedian Judd Apatow uses and other, other left wing or liberals called Punching down, which I really, I find I'm offended by that because the, the preposition of. Is that somehow there are people beneath you. I said, what? There are people beneath you. There's nobody beneath you. They may have less money than you, they may not live next to the beach like you do, but they're not beneath you. So the idea somehow that these people need to be defended because they're so feeble and they're so weak that you as the higher up in society, need to defend these people. I'm offended that I find offensive.

Bill O'Reilly (14:43)

Well, Pat, it's called patronizing them. Yeah, but even Saturday Night Live, you remember in the beginning, Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin. Jane, you ignorant slut.

Rob Schneider (14:55)

Written by Jim Downey. Written by Jim Downey. Well, the thing about that was I don't think people weren't looking to be offended then. I think they were looking for laughs. And also it's late at night, it's 11:30 and maybe it's midnight by the time that got on. And you were just looking for something that was funny and being offensive was. I mean, that's not the goal. The goal was to be funny, but how you be funny by potentially offending somebody. And I would just look at things like you have to attempt to, I mean, just having this conversation. We are, as Jordan Peterson would say, if you're trying to have a point or be confident about a point, you're risking offense. But to not do that, I think is to, is to take our culture and diminish it.

Bill O'Reilly (15:43)

Right. But it is diminished because the money boys don't want that anymore.

Rob Schneider (15:47)

They don't, like, for instance, my latest comedy special probably would not get on Netflix now stuff that I'm doing. And that's okay because the whole landscape is shifting dramatically. Whereas, you know, I haven't been on late night TV because if you're a conservative, it's like they are, you know, they, they say we need equity and equality and diversity, but they don't want diversity of thought.

Bill O'Reilly (16:12)

That's right.

Rob Schneider (16:12)

They want diversity of shame. It is a shame because it's diminishing because, you know, you need to have your certainties questioned. Your foundational thinking needs to be challenged. So make it better and to be open. And the fact that they don't have me on the late night TV is sad for them, but it also, it affects their ratings because I could do a tweet now and I could have millions of people see that or put out something on X or put it on Instagram and millions of people will see that and maybe 150,000 people watch the late night.

Bill O'Reilly (16:41)

Well, I get the same thing. I used to be on. Well, I was on Letterman dozen times and, and Kimmel and everything. And now Trump changed it all. So if you give Trump a fair shake, you don't have to kiss his butt. You even give him a fair shave. You don't loathe him. They don't want you, and they shut you down. They shut you out. And we did a documentation. The other thing that was curious about growing up with you, and you were an adult when this happened, you converted to Catholicism.

Rob Schneider (17:13)

Yes.

Bill O'Reilly (17:14)

From nothing or were you Unitarian or what were you?

Rob Schneider (17:18)

Well, you know, as Bill Maher's joke applies to me, my father was Jewish, my mother was Catholic. So when I went to confession, I bring my attorney. Father, this is Mr. Cohen. He'll be answering all the questions. I found it curious because I was interested in, well, Judaism, of course, because I grew up with my father, and I think that's the basis of all Western civilization. And then Christianity, which is an off, you know, sprung from Judaism and a very, very observant Jew, Jesus Christ. So. And I was also interested in the reformation of Buddhism, which was China. That's why China is. And I hope they can come out of this the communist hell hole that they're in now. And as a matter of fact, my friend Jan Yakalik has a book about kill to order about the Uyghurs and the Falun Gong that are being taken and you know, their body parts. Murdered on demand. Killed on demand, sure. So for me, I really had an awakening, really, during COVID when I saw society giving into a tyranny that very quickly. And you see a rise in evil, and this is something you can't ignore. And there's not. You'll never see dark without light. You can't have day without night. You don't have front without back. And that's very much Alan Watts philosophy of his Eastern mysticism.

Bill O'Reilly (18:48)

But what was it about Catholicism itself that penetrated your consciousness and said, this is going to lead to more justice. What was it about?

Rob Schneider (19:01)

That Christ's sacrifice for all of us is that. That God would give his own son for the world.

Bill O'Reilly (19:08)

Okay, so you bought into the Messiah coming because I wrote a book, Killing Jesus.

Rob Schneider (19:13)

Yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (19:14)

You know, about exactly what happened and why it happened. So that you started to think about this independently, or did you have somebody that was kind of guiding you into it?

Rob Schneider (19:28)

I. When you. When you feel something that's happening around you and to the world that affects. And you have young children and you. You want to protect them as best as you can, and you think that there is. We don't come from nothing. I mean, all of Western civilization is an offshoot. It comes the spring springs from Christianity. I mean everything has to do with it. And so even those of the atheists who believes that they don't believe in God, there's still laws. They just took, they said the laws of nature. They just took the law giver away, but there's still laws. What is your basis for society? What is your basis? What is your foundational belief system now

Bill O'Reilly (20:14)

along with your conversion, you hightailed it out of California to Arizona.

Rob Schneider (20:18)

Yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (20:19)

Was it the same reason you had had enough of the society out there?

Rob Schneider (20:23)

Well, I had, you know. You know, if you have little kids, Cal, that's like I say in my stand up act, California is dangerous, you know, because you got little kids, you know, in the morning you go to school, you drop off a girl. In the afternoon you pick up a boy, you know, so you want to. You want to. So I did want to get out. I felt like California was going to become a pincer trap depending on how deep this tyranny was going to go. And I knew that they were going to close businesses. I saw that happening and I knew that it wasn't going to be two weeks, just 15 days. The. And I don't think people saw it and that it was gonna become this draconian measures.

Bill O'Reilly (20:58)

Now let's go back to your younger days. Saturday Night Live's a tough gig. Yeah, I know Michaels. I actually did a skit for him. What up with that? And it was very successful. He wanted me to host a show, but Fox wouldn't let me because it was a.

Rob Schneider (21:15)

You would have been great on there.

Bill O'Reilly (21:16)

See, I don't know about that, but, but they were very respectful, let's put it that way. I had no problem at all. I went over, I did the skit, it worked. But I know a lot of people, including Dennis Miller, worked with a lot on Factor. And that's a rough gig that you get into. That Saturday Night Live thing. You're competing against each other for airtime.

Rob Schneider (21:38)

It is sink or swim.

Bill O'Reilly (21:40)

And then you were a writer in the beginning and then you elevated up and you know, you had the great character about the nicknames.

Rob Schneider (21:50)

A copy machine guy. Yeah, right. That was a. There were so many cast members as there is now. I think there were 17. I remember, like, it seemed like, you know, they do the montage of all the cast and Al Franken and Dennis Miller and Laura MacDonald and Adams. I mean that went on longer than the actual show at one point, I think just the, just the cast reading yeah, it's sink or swim.

Bill O'Reilly (22:14)

Everybody handles that kind of competition differently.

Rob Schneider (22:17)

It is, but it does. You know, I remember it does. It does make it tense. I mean, you do. You do realize, because you see what happens when somebody gets on. They get a movie or they get something. And I remember when I got a character on the copy machine guy, I just remember Dennis Millson, hey, he's saying to the other younger cast members, this guy's got on already. You guys better get to it. He's already hit it. You guys got. What do you guys got? And I remember, like, they were burning. They were burning with that. And so it does hit. And what I liked about Saturday Night Live then and at it, when it can be its best, is it wasn't trying to, like, be too broad or do something intellectually, you know, that they thought out too much. This. It's at its best trying to make their friends laugh and themselves laugh. And so if we can make ourselves laugh, then you have the best chance. And I think that, you know, I think it's pretty obvious, though, that, you know, like, any institution, it could get lost. And I think it got lost in this. The politically correct stuff, the liberal intelligentsia. It did, because what it did, it took away the opportunity for laughs. Joe Biden and Kamala Harris was the greatest opportunity in the last 25 years for humor.

Bill O'Reilly (23:28)

And I'm surprised Michaels didn't jump on that.

Rob Schneider (23:31)

And they did. Well, to his credit, he lets the cast and those guys come up with

Bill O'Reilly (23:34)

their stuff, but he makes the final call.

Rob Schneider (23:36)

He does make the final call, but he. But I do think he lets them lead. And he's been there for half a century, so he does get that. But I think it was a miss. I think it was a lost opportunity, and I think there are funny guys there now, and hopefully it'll come back. But any institution is not immune to the cultural pressure.

Bill O'Reilly (23:56)

But what was interesting is that you came out of there with some of your best friends. Sandler, I guess, is the ringleader, right? He's the guy that swirls, and then he's casting you guys in the movies. And they're all successful. People love them, but a lot of them didn't like each other. They were, you know, well, undermining and everything like that. But you guys managed to have that core.

Rob Schneider (24:21)

I. We always rooted for each other. I rooted for him.

Bill O'Reilly (24:23)

And that was. That was different.

Rob Schneider (24:26)

It was different. You know, I remember, like, as one of the guys, we. This explains Adam Sandler probably better than anything else I know of. David Spade and I had falling out of sorts and it was just simple thing about like this. Cause we didn't talk for a while and it was kind of. It got rough there towards the end when I was there and we didn't speak. But we used to be best friends. It was him and me and Sandler were like best friends in la. And then we got on Saturday Night Live. And then the pressure, you know, gets to you. And I remember Adam saying, you know, there's a movie that you're gonna do and you know you're gonna work with David. And he made a movie, literally wrote it, and he had some other guys that worked on the last couple of drafts of it, but it was his movie idea. And he literally made the movie so that David and I, David Spade and I would have to work together. So we'd have to work it out. And we've been friends, we've been tight ever since.

Bill O'Reilly (25:22)

Right.

Rob Schneider (25:22)

That's Adam. That I mean that.

Bill O'Reilly (25:24)

I mean, unusual.

Rob Schneider (25:25)

Who else would do that? And I really feel like he is just continually. I describe him as that Willy Wonka gum that just never loses its flavor.

Bill O'Reilly (25:39)

But he's a very creative guy.

Rob Schneider (25:41)

He loves and loves to keep challenging himself. Like, I can't tell you the last time I called him the last 20 years was he wasn't working on not just one script. 3. He's finishing a movie, editing that, and then literally the movie is in the can. He's finishing the editing of the actual film. He's editing the finishing of the next movie. And then he's working on a couple other things. He just. He's a worker. The only time I see him take it easy is when he's works on somebody else's picture. But the thing about that's when I know I'm kind of. I feel good because then I know he can at least relax when he's not shooting, because he's not thinking about at night, like going over the next thing and then the writing of it. He's just. It's almost like when your heart only rests between beats. So when I know he's working on another movie, I can go, okay, he's actually almost taking a vacation.

Bill O'Reilly (26:25)

Well, he obviously loves what he does. And that's the key to a happy life.

Rob Schneider (26:30)

Yeah.

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Bill O'Reilly (27:52)

Two guys I got to know were Miller and Norm MacDonald. Okay, so Norm liked me because I'm me. And there was some common ground because Norm didn't give a fake.

Rob Schneider (28:05)

Yeah, yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (28:06)

He didn't care.

Rob Schneider (28:06)

He's the guy who invented fake news.

Bill O'Reilly (28:08)

Right.

Rob Schneider (28:09)

And now the fake news.

Bill O'Reilly (28:10)

But they were all over him for O.J. simpson and for all of this other stuff.

Rob Schneider (28:14)

Yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (28:14)

And Norm just look at him and go, okay. And then he'd do exactly what he wanted to do.

Rob Schneider (28:19)

I know Norm was a very special talent, and I miss him. Yeah, so do I. I put him in everything that I could do, everything that I ever did. And I'm very honored that. That I knew him and that he would make. That he could make fun of me publicly. I thought that that was such a.

Bill O'Reilly (28:38)

But he had this quality whereby you couldn't intimidate him.

Rob Schneider (28:42)

No, he was. No. And he really was comedy first, no matter what.

Bill O'Reilly (28:47)

Right.

Rob Schneider (28:47)

Even if it cost him. And like, Jim Downey was the real, you know, the real genius of Saturday Night Live. I say, you know, was, respectfully, was the head writer of the almost years. The guy who did. Jane, you ignorant slut. The guy with the change bank, the guy who wrote the jokes for Norm was. Was Jim Downey. And this says on Weekend Update. And I think that that was a spectacularly, a wonderful, you know, volatile time when you're watching that, you don't know what Norm is going to do. It was really a wonderful experience because it's one of those things where he could burn the house down. And he did. He did get fired.

Bill O'Reilly (29:26)

There's one qualifier here. If you knew what Norm was told not to do, then you knew what he would do, which was exactly the opposite. Okay.

Rob Schneider (29:37)

Yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (29:38)

And now I'll tell you a Miller story. So Miller, I didn't know very much, but I was looking for a little levity, but not stupid stuff. Yeah, a little. An intelligent guy to come on once a week and put the news into some kind of perspective.

Rob Schneider (29:55)

Yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (29:56)

With an entertainment value. So at the time, Dennis Miller was working at cnbc.

Rob Schneider (30:02)

Wow.

Bill O'Reilly (30:03)

And he had an hour show with a monkey. The monkey. No one knew why the monkey was there, but Miller would talk to the monkey and a monkey would just run around.

Rob Schneider (30:15)

Yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (30:15)

Okay. Well, the show did not work. Okay.

Rob Schneider (30:18)

And they imagine that that would kill.

Bill O'Reilly (30:20)

Now they kill the show.

Rob Schneider (30:23)

Yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (30:24)

So I run into Miller in Manhattan, where we are now, and I didn't know him, and I said, you know, I like the monkey. And he lit up because everybody hated the monkey. I like the monkey.

Rob Schneider (30:42)

Yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (30:42)

And then I said, you know, would you mind if I maybe got your agent? And no. You know, Miller died. Just blew it off. So I went to the head of Fox News guy named Roger Ailes, and I said, look, I won't put Miller on on a weekly basis, and it'd be workshop to give him a contract, but we'll give him three or four weeks to see. He goes, is that the guy with the monkey? He said, yeah, we don't have to hire the monkey. Okay. We're not gonna hire the monkey. We'll have a few bananas. All right, so Miller, a fill at home. So the rest is history.

Rob Schneider (31:19)

That's fantastic.

Bill O'Reilly (31:20)

I brought him on and then we toured.

Rob Schneider (31:23)

That's right. Those tours were great. You guys were ahead of your time.

Bill O'Reilly (31:27)

It was amazing because you got to have.

Rob Schneider (31:30)

You got to have. It was pre podcast era. You guys got to actually. People would come out and you would actually get to. They would get to hear people that they listened to. And it was a wonderful reaction that preceded this whole era.

Bill O'Reilly (31:42)

Well, we sold Caesar's palace out five times. Now you can imagine, I'm a journalist. I'm not a stand up guy, I'm not an entertainer, but I have a sense of humor and I'm an observer of life. And so I would say to Miller, I said, okay, this is what we're going to do. Okay. Tonight we're going to have these questions and then we'll just go wild with the questions. None of it was rehearsed, none of it. And it just worked great. And then I got on him for Bordello of Blindness. Did you see Bordello of Blood?

Rob Schneider (32:13)

No.

Bill O'Reilly (32:14)

Dennis Miller.

Rob Schneider (32:15)

Oh no, no, no. That movie he did.

Bill O'Reilly (32:17)

Oh yes.

Rob Schneider (32:17)

Yeah, yeah, that's his one movie. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's his one movie. Oh yeah. And he's got a flamethrower with vampires. And I forgot about that.

Bill O'Reilly (32:26)

I would bring it up every show. I go how you didn't get an Academy Award for Bordello of Blood. It was one of the greatest things. Citizen Kane, Casablanca and Bordello of Blood.

Rob Schneider (32:37)

I remember Dennis, because you have to know what you're good at. You have to also know what you're not good at. And I remember him saying, I'm gonna do this audition and there's Eddie and Teddy and I did Eddie and I told the casting agent, okay, I'm gonna do Teddy and it's gonna sound a lot like Eddie.

Bill O'Reilly (32:56)

He was he to this day, very, very witty guy.

Rob Schneider (33:01)

Greatest stand up's unbelievable. And you know, he's one of the great monologists ever. And also as I was saying, he loves to laugh and really gets it. I just got to see him and his lovely wife Allie in Santa Barbara last month and it was just nice to see him. And he's doing great, but just a great laugh and a generous laugh and also a guy who appreciated comedy. He's the guy who singled out Adam Sandler, David Spade and me to not only to Lorne Michaels, but to David Letterman. So. Because that was the big one for us getting on there and then the HBO Young comedian special. So Dennis Miller was, is a, an incredible gift and also a real generous person to lift other people just because he thinks they're funny. Yeah, and I'm grateful to him. I mean if it wasn't for Dennis, I don't know if we would have made it.

Bill O'Reilly (33:49)

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Rob Schneider (35:02)

I get it. You know, I mean, it was tough for me to go back, to be honest. The 50th. I don't know. I mean, I just. I just, you know, they're so liberal, you know, and I knew that, like, you know, there are people going to be there that really, really hate Trump, and I just didn't want to deal with it. I've been very vocal in my approval because, you know, what do we have? You know, and I talk about, like, the. Now I've been talking about the. This, you know, empathy that women have. White women voting for Kamala Harris. And I said this, you know, replacing. Replacing Kamala, replacing Joe Biden with Kamala Harris is like changing your shirt because you shit your pants, you know, and, you know, a simple joke, but. But what it really is, it's like they're saying, we're gonna defend democracy. You have to defend democracy by voting for Kamala Harris. She wasn't even put in Democratically. They were just replaced. So it just. The house of cards collapsed for the Democratic Party. And we saw it. And I just like these guys. I know they just. They don't want to go to that place where they could make fun of their own. And, you know, as Lorne Michaels has said publicly, the, you know, the liberals, they don't have as much of a sense of humor to laugh at themselves.

Bill O'Reilly (36:16)

Right?

Rob Schneider (36:17)

So, anyway, I was thinking, should I go? And I ended up going for the 50th, and I saw Robert De Niro there, and I know he hates Trump, and I've been very vocal that I support Trump, you know, I mean.

Bill O'Reilly (36:25)

But De Niro didn't confront you, right?

Rob Schneider (36:27)

We did. We had a conference. Well, it was interesting. You know, I mean, I know him and not well, but I know him. And he helped put a movie in his Tribeca Film Festival many years ago called Vaxxed, which was the opening of this. The idea that this, hey, any drug is gonna potentially have a side effect. Any drug, no matter what it is, there's never been a drug. It's 100% safe, 100% of the time for 100% of the people. So he was kind enough and open minded enough to put this movie vaxxed in this Tribeca Film Festival. But it was such a radioactive topic topic that he pulled it out. But in the pulling out of the, the film festival, it became a cause celebre and became a news event. And so I've been grateful to them, but I know that.

Bill O'Reilly (37:18)

Did he confront you about the Trump thing?

Rob Schneider (37:20)

Well, when I saw him, I saw him at, at snl, he was two rows in front of me and I just said to myself, well, you know, I'm not gonna, I don't want to ruin his night. You know, I know he hates Trump violently, you know, violently. And then. And I don't, I don't want him ruin my night. I'm just gonna avoid. So at the end of the, at the end of the night, they do this very nice thing where they, you know, they invite everybody onto the stage at the very end, you know, whoever, whoever cast member, whoever hosted the show, they invite us all onto the stage for one final bow. We're never gonna be there. You know, people pass away, whatever. We're never gonna be there probably ever again in this group. So we all get up. The problem is the show. Bill has been on the air for 50 years. So everybody in the audience was a cast member or had, was hosted the show. So we all get up, we start moving our way to the stage and then I'm, I'm right behind De Niro. I mean, literally, I'm like, nobody pushed. You know, somebody's pushing. Finally somebody pushed me right into him. And, you know, De Niro turns around, he's like, how can you support Trump?

Bill O'Reilly (38:20)

He did, he said that right off the bat.

Rob Schneider (38:21)

He's a schmuck. How could you? And I, I remember he was just about to kind of go. I just, I really grabbed him. I said, hey, I love you.

Bill O'Reilly (38:29)

That was good.

Rob Schneider (38:30)

I love you. I really. And I said, no, no, no. And he looked at me, right, no, I, I really love you and I do. And I just think we can't, you know, and I tell people, we're not going to win the cancel culture. They're better at it than us. We're going to have to do it some other way. And it's going to have to be through love and understanding.

Bill O'Reilly (38:46)

Be respectful. I ran into Whoopi Goldberg the other night. She was the one that walked off the View stage when I said, you know, it might not be a good idea to build a mosque at the site of 9 11. And she and Behar walked off the show. It's unbelievable, right? And over the years, I've been respectful, but I saw it, the Nick game, and I went up and I said, you know, hey, Whoopi, how you feeling? You know, she's lost a lot of weight. She's on one of those. Yeah, whatever they are. I don't know. They suck the living bile out of you, and then you shrink something like, they tell you market that.

Rob Schneider (39:18)

No, it's. We're going to take away all your muscle.

Bill O'Reilly (39:21)

Right.

Rob Schneider (39:21)

No problem.

Bill O'Reilly (39:22)

You're just going to be like, Gumby, Gumby.

Rob Schneider (39:25)

And you'll never gain it. You'll never get your muscle back anyway.

Bill O'Reilly (39:28)

And I just said to. I just looked at it and. And I said, you know, you look good. I'm nice to see you. Everything okay?

Rob Schneider (39:35)

Yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (39:35)

Is there anybody you want me to take care of? That's my line for almost everybody.

Rob Schneider (39:42)

And she was like, I don't understand.

Bill O'Reilly (39:44)

I like Whoopi Goldberg, not Behar.

Rob Schneider (39:47)

One on one. She was okay. When you saw.

Bill O'Reilly (39:48)

Yeah. Oh, she was respectful.

Rob Schneider (39:50)

Yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (39:50)

I mean, I'm 6 4, 200 pounds. Okay. I don't.

Rob Schneider (39:54)

Yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (39:55)

Although De Niro pulled something on me.

Rob Schneider (39:57)

He did.

Bill O'Reilly (39:58)

So I'm at the Kennedy benefit. All right. The Kennedy family had a foundation, and I supported it because I'm a big fan of Robert Kennedy Senior. Gutsy guy.

Rob Schneider (40:11)

Oh, yeah.

Bill O'Reilly (40:11)

If you read Killing Kennedy, you see how gutsy he was.

Rob Schneider (40:14)

No. Unbelievable. He's a guy who made a whole change from Joe McCarthy up until seeing poverty in America that he never imagined.

Bill O'Reilly (40:21)

So I'm sitting there talking to Ethel Kennedy, talking about name dropping. That's pretty good, right?

Rob Schneider (40:25)

Yeah. You're in.

Bill O'Reilly (40:26)

And I see Ethel's eyes come off mine, look over my shoulder. So I know somebody's approaching, and I turn around, it's De Niro. So Ethel goes, oh, Bobby, do you know Bill O'Reilly? And I can't do the impression you do, but he goes, I unwind from my chair, all six foot four of me, get right up close to him and go, problem vanished. She. Ethel Kennedy laughed. She goes, I've never seen Bobby move that fast.

Rob Schneider (41:11)

Yeah, but I don't understand.

Bill O'Reilly (41:13)

Okay, you don't like Trump. I understand it. I know the guy for 35 years. Okay? But so what?

Rob Schneider (41:22)

So what? I know, right?

Bill O'Reilly (41:23)

This is America.

Rob Schneider (41:24)

This is America. And I got to tell you, this administration he put together is the best administration of my lifetime.

Bill O'Reilly (41:29)

And you are entitled to that opinion without being derided, without being derided.

Rob Schneider (41:35)

And also without being deprived of work.

Bill O'Reilly (41:37)

The idea, oh, I hate that is so bad.

Rob Schneider (41:40)

Yeah, it is awful. I mean, like, look, I. I realize that, you know, they. It's so funny because, you know, people, you know, they accuse people who are conservative, like, you're right wing grifting. The grifting is the left. If you just shut up and if you just go along with this insanity and this liberal. And yes, men, you know, can be women if they say they are, if they put up enough makeup on, and if they, you know, they tuck whatever. It's like, no, at a certain point, you have to. There's either reality, there's logic, and you have a culture that you care for. Either defend women. And the idea of this misogynistic crap that this culture's been going through, if you don't, you know, speak up against that, then I think you, you know, you're not a man. And we have people. And I'm not going to not stand up for women. I'm not going to not stand up for my culture and this amazing country that has provided the most remarkable opportunity for anybody who comes here and worked their ass off. But you got to come in with good intentions, and that's the problem.

Bill O'Reilly (42:38)

And that comes from your mom?

Rob Schneider (42:40)

That comes from my mom, absolutely.

Bill O'Reilly (42:41)

So your mom drilled that into you.

Rob Schneider (42:44)

Yes.

Bill O'Reilly (42:44)

And you still have it, and that's admirable.

Rob Schneider (42:47)

Well, this is a culture worth fighting for. I mean, I remember, you know, if you really think about this, like the murder of Charlie Kirk, who I knew, and we went to university together, he was such an incredibly brilliant person who put his microphone down and said, if you disagree with me, you come to the front of the line. And one of the last few times we talked together, you know, one of the things we said was, there will be no Marines landing on our beaches to save our ass. There will be no financial institution or some other country to financially bank, you know, to. To. To. To give us a loan like the Marshall Plan, like we did for Germany and Japan and Europe. And. And we're it. We are the Marines. We are the financial Marshall Plan. So this is it. This is our last line. And it's not just the last line for this country, but for Western civilization, the world.

Bill O'Reilly (43:42)

Well, you see it now, we see it now.

Rob Schneider (43:43)

You see a real attack on Western civilization. You see the struggle that's happening in Texas right now. You really see the attack. Because the difference is, you know, when our founding father says, you know, enemies, foreign and domestic, because they knew that they saw at that point that there was a potential to come in and use the freedoms that are given here, to use them to usurp the constitutional rights of others. And that's something we have to be really careful about. And that's what this Sharia, you know, this anti Sharia laws need to be enacted every, in every state.

Bill O'Reilly (44:15)

And it's ironic. The ACLU was set up to protect those rights. The aclu and now it's, it's starting. Not starting, but it's in the middle of denying those rights.

Rob Schneider (44:26)

I'm going to, I want to find out who's funding the ACLU right now because they are not the same organization that fought for the rights of seeing

Bill O'Reilly (44:33)

them over in China.

Rob Schneider (44:35)

I think so. Yeah. Well, you have soft money coming over here, Bill, whether it's coming from Qatar into the universities, a trillion dollars. And it's affecting these universities and their programs, which are this overly flirtatious combination for communism and for Islamism. And the problem is that combination is very deadly. And that was one of the last things Charlie Kirk spoke about two days before he died was that combination of that red green alliance, which is this, this communist under the, you know, the new name woke, which is just communism dressed up as manners. As Thomas Sowell talks about the fallacy of social justice, it's a fallacy. But teaming up with Islam, that's the real threat to America right now. That is the biggest threat to this country. And thankfully we have an administration that is onto it. When I went there, when I was in D.C. two months ago, that's all we talked about.

Bill O'Reilly (45:30)

Why do you think that the Trump administration is so vilified by the Kimmels, the Colbert, the network news? Why do they hate him so much?

Rob Schneider (45:43)

I think it's liberal. Liberal women that have lost their minds are controlling these men and these guys have no more balls.

Bill O'Reilly (45:52)

Oh, I thought you said they changed. You were going to change.

Rob Schneider (45:55)

Kimmel has no balls. Kimmel is balless. He's been de balled by his wife. His wife is the head writer of the show. She used to be an assistant writer. Now she's the writer. And I think that's completely ruined him. I do. I mean, I'm sorry, Jimmy, maybe I'm wrong, but I think I'm right.

Bill O'Reilly (46:11)

Hey, we've got more with Rob Schneider. If you are a premium or concierge member on billorilly.com all you need to do is go to the website billoriley.com and punch up Killing Time. Killing Time. It's supposed to be clever. Off the killing books, Killing time. And then that's just for you exclusively, so we hope you do that.