Podcast Summary: "A Very Merry Black and White Christmas"

Episode Release Date: December 24, 2024
Hosts: Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett
Podcast: Black and White Advice

1. Introduction to the Holiday Episode

In the festive episode titled "A Very Merry Black and White Christmas," hosts Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett delve into holiday traditions, gift-giving dilemmas, and the unique dynamics of celebrating Christmas across different cultural backgrounds. The episode blends humor with insightful discussions, staying true to the podcast’s mission of addressing race-related questions with candor and wit.

2. Mariah Carey and Christmas Music Tradition

The hosts kick off the episode with a light-hearted conversation about Mariah Carey’s enduring status as the “Queen of Christmas.” Turner expresses his eagerness for Mariah Carey to make a seasonal comeback, highlighting how other artists attempt to emulate her success without matching her iconic status.

Turner Sparks [01:14]: "Is she gone?"

Phil Duckett [01:19]: "Mariah is the queen of Christmas."

Their banter underscores the perennial debate over classic Christmas music and its place in modern festivities.

3. Navigating Office Christmas Parties

Transitioning to workplace holiday gatherings, Phil Duckett offers a cautionary perspective on office Christmas parties, emphasizing the importance of maintaining professionalism despite the festive atmosphere.

Phil Duckett [03:18]: "Stay cognizant this year of their behavior at these office Christmas parties."

Phil advises limiting alcohol intake to avoid overindulgence, reflecting on past experiences where excessive drinking led to uncomfortable situations.

Phil Duckett [03:53]: "Keep it three drinks tops. Just to keep it kosher."

The discussion highlights the delicate balance between enjoying the festivities and preserving one’s reputation in a professional setting.

4. Top 10 Worst Christmas Presents: A Guessing Game

In a segment inspired by Timeout.com’s list of the worst Christmas gifts, Turner and Phil engage in a playful guessing game to identify and discuss the most dreaded presents. Their insights provide both humor and practical advice for listeners navigating their own gift-giving challenges.

Guessed and Discussed Gifts:

1. Socks

   Phil Duckett [08:04]: "Because you put no thought into it."

   Turner critiques the generic nature of socks, suggesting they often feel like last-minute, impersonal gifts.

2. Gift Cards

   Phil Duckett [08:57]: "Gift cards is your lowest form of present."

   Both hosts agree that gift cards, especially to businesses that may no longer be operational, lack personal touch.

3. Cutlery and Utensils

   Phil Duckett [09:56]: "Never seen nobody give like China."

   They discuss how practical but impersonal items like cutlery fail to inspire joy in recipients.

4. Clothes

   While Phil initially opposes clothing as a gift, Turner defends it, noting that thoughtful clothing can be appreciated if tailored to the recipient’s style.

5. Calendars

   Phil Duckett [13:18]: "I still get one every year."

   They describe calendars as outdated and impersonal, especially in the age of digital scheduling.

6. Exercise or Diet-Related Gifts

   Turner mentions items like Peloton bikes as examples of gifts that can imply an unwanted push towards fitness or weight loss.

7. Statement Mugs

   General consensus is that novelty mugs, like "Best Dad Ever," lack thoughtfulness unless they hold personal significance.

8. Pets

   Phil shares a personal anecdote about gifting a puppy, illustrating the potential pitfalls and responsibilities that come with pet ownership, often making it a challenging and cumbersome gift.

   Phil Duckett [18:16]: "Diesel is running out at pasture right now, but she gave my dog away while I was at work."

Phil’s story underscores the complexities and long-term commitments associated with pets, often making them unsuitable as gifts.

5. Personal Anecdote: Phil’s Puppy Predicament

Phil Duckett recounts his experience of gifting a puppy to his girlfriend, which quickly spiraled into a series of challenges:

• The girlfriend became overwhelmed with a busy work schedule.
• The puppy, Diesel, was neglected and eventually given away without Phil’s consent.
• The ordeal led to personal frustration and strained the relationship.

Phil Duckett [19:32]: "Diesel is running out at pasture right now, but she gave my dog away while I was at work."

This story emphasizes the importance of considering the recipient’s capacity to care for significant gifts like pets.

6. Listener Q&A: Vicki’s Roommate Cooking Soul Food

Question from Vicki in Burlington, Vermont:

Vicki, a white vegetarian, expresses frustration with her black roommate who cooks soul food every night, leading to persistent meat odors in their shared apartment. She seeks advice on how to address the issue politely.

Hosts’ Responses:

Phil humorously downplays the issue, suggesting that Vicki might need to broaden her culinary horizons.

Phil Duckett [22:07]: "Maybe it was time for you to try a chicken wing."

Turner offers more tactful advice, proposing passive-aggressive strategies to hint at her discomfort with the smells.

Turner Sparks [24:39]: "If you want to somehow fight back in a way that I guess would be very passive aggressive."

They also discuss the cultural significance of soul food, noting that many traditional dishes incorporate meat for flavor, making it inherently aromatic.

Phil Duckett [23:43]: "So you're going to smell meat. Because there's not a dish out there that doesn't have a seasoning of meat or type of like, you know, I mean, yeah, bone broth."

7. Listener Q&A: Jalen’s Observation about Shorts-Wearing White Friends in Winter

Question from Jalen in Houston:

Jalen, a 31-year-old black man, observes that his white friend groups often include members who wear shorts even in cold weather. He wonders if this behavior is characteristic of white culture in general.

Hosts’ Responses:

Phil and Turner engage in a lighthearted debate about the reasons behind this fashion choice, touching on cultural heritage and body temperature regulation.

Phil Duckett [28:32]: "Y'all come from the cold. That's what darker pigments were meant for."

They humorously stereotype the shorts-wearers as either running hot or seeking comfort, reminiscing about their own tendencies to wear warmer clothing during winter.

Turner Sparks [27:38]: "Every group of friends, every school has the one guy who's just. He. That's his thing."

8. Listener Q&A: Paul’s Concern about Introducing His Atheist Self to His Black Girlfriend’s Parents

Question from Paul in Tacoma, Washington:

Paul, a 20-year-old atheist, is concerned about his black girlfriend requesting that he not disclose his atheism to her parents. He wonders if this is a recurring issue when dating black women.

Hosts’ Responses:

Phil delves into the cultural and religious expectations prevalent in many black communities, explaining the significance of faith and religion in familial relationships.

Phil Duckett [30:12]: "We black people, even black people who do some of the crazy shit, majority of us believe in a higher power."

Turner draws parallels with white cultural norms, suggesting that both communities have traditions that may sometimes conflict with personal beliefs.

Turner Sparks [31:37]: "Everyone's grandma goes to church. And I do. And we've always had grown up..."

Phil emphasizes understanding and respecting cultural backgrounds while navigating personal beliefs.

Phil Duckett [32:11]: "We are. And especially most black people migrate. Even the ones in New York, their grandparents are in the South."

Ultimately, the hosts advise Paul to honor his beliefs while being sensitive to his girlfriend’s cultural and familial expectations.

9. Fact-Check Segment: Durian and Cold Sensitivity in Black People

In the final segment, titled "White Lies and Dark Truths," producer Joe Russell fact-checks the episode’s claims:

1. Durian Fruit Smell:

   The hosts described durian fruit as having an overpowering and unpleasant odor, often compared to garbage or sewage.

   Joe Russell [32:44]: "A lot of people say it smells like rotting onions, turpentine, raw sewage, stale vomit, skunk spray."

   Turner confirms the widespread ban of durian in Asian hotels due to its strong smell.

   Turner Sparks [33:04]: "It's not allowed in hotels throughout Asia."

2. Cold Sensitivity in Black People:

   The claim that black individuals are more susceptible to cold was addressed, referencing studies on higher heating costs in black households and historical instances of increased frostbite among black soldiers in World War II.

   Producer [34:03]: "Apparently, yes, black people do succumb to coldness more than white people."

   Turner shares a personal story about his father limiting heater use, reflecting on economic and cultural factors influencing perceptions of cold.

   Phil Duckett [34:22]: "Put on sweatsuits."

This segment provides a balanced view, acknowledging the biological and socio-economic factors that contribute to these observations.

10. Conclusion and Patreon Promotion

The episode wraps up with a promotion for their Patreon page, encouraging listeners to subscribe for bonus content, early access to episodes, and exclusive questions.

Turner Sparks [35:02]: "Stay black."

Phil humorously adds a provocative touch, maintaining the show’s characteristic edgy humor.

Phil Duckett [35:05]: "And you've got a question."

Notable Quotes:

• Phil Duckett [03:53]: "Keep it three drinks tops. Just to keep it kosher."
• Phil Duckett [08:04]: "Because you put no thought into it."
• Phil Duckett [18:16]: "Diesel is running out at pasture right now, but she gave my dog away while I was at work."
• Turner Sparks [24:39]: "If you want to somehow fight back in a way that I guess would be very passive aggressive."
• Phil Duckett [30:12]: "We black people, even black people who do some of the crazy shit, majority of us believe in a higher power."

Key Takeaways:

• Gift-Giving Challenges: The discussion highlights the importance of thoughtful gifting, cautioning against impersonal or impractical presents like socks, gift cards, or pets without considering the recipient’s circumstances.

• Cultural Sensitivity: Episodes of interracial living and relationships underscore the need for cultural understanding and respectful communication when navigating differing traditions and beliefs.

• Humorous Insights: Through humor and personal anecdotes, the hosts offer relatable perspectives on common holiday experiences, making complex racial and cultural topics accessible and engaging.

• Educational Value: The fact-check segment adds an informative layer, debunking myths and providing factual accuracy to support the hosts' discussions.

This episode of "Black and White Advice" delivers a blend of humor, personal stories, and cultural insights, making it a valuable listen for those seeking both entertainment and thoughtful discourse on race and holiday traditions.