Is Blackface ok for Halloween?

Summary

Black and White Advice: "Is Blackface OK for Halloween?" – Detailed Summary

Episode Release Date: October 29, 2024

In this thought-provoking and humorous episode of Black and White Advice, hosts Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett delve into the controversial topic of blackface in Halloween costumes. Known for their candid discussions on race, the duo navigates through listener questions, personal anecdotes, and cultural insights to educate and entertain their audience.

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1. Episode Kickoff and Halloween Celebrations [00:00 – 07:20]

The episode begins with the hosts exchanging playful banter about their Halloween costumes. Turner dons a cowboy outfit, prompting Phil to jest, “Turner looks like the understudy for Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain” (00:07). This light-hearted exchange sets the tone for the episode, blending humor with the upcoming serious discussion.

Key Points:

• Introduction of Halloween-themed content.
• Brief mention of producer Joe, adding a behind-the-scenes touch.

2. Addressing Previous Episodes and Viewer Questions [02:00 – 07:20]

Turner and Phil take a moment to apologize for not introducing their producer, Joe, in previous episodes. They explain that viewers were curious about the "gremlin" in the background, revealing it as Joe Russell. This segment underscores the hosts' commitment to transparency and audience engagement.

Notable Quote:

• Phil Duckett: “Joe Russell, our producer. But we... forgot to introduce him the first two episodes.” (02:24)

3. The Necessity of Confronting Racism [03:51 – 04:22]

The conversation shifts to the broader theme of racism. Phil emphasizes the importance of confronting racism head-on, stating, “The only way to solve racism is to confront racism” (03:51). Turner echoes this sentiment, highlighting the show's role as a platform for honest dialogue.

Key Points:

• Importance of open discussions about race.
• Acknowledgment that these conversations can be uncomfortable but necessary for unity.

4. "What's that Mean?" Game Segment [08:25 – 17:14]

A playful yet informative segment titled "What's that Mean?" tests the hosts' understanding of cultural sayings. They explore phrases from both white and black vernaculars, dissecting their meanings and origins.

Example Exchange:

• Turner: “'I'm not one of your little friends.' Is this a midget joke again?”
• Phil: “No, it means you can't play with me.” (09:57)

Another phrase discussed is “eaten by a wolf and shit off a cliff,” where Phil humorously interprets it as being extremely hungover (10:03).

5. Listener Questions on Halloween Costumes and Blackface [19:04 – 43:58]

The core of the episode revolves around listener-submitted questions, particularly focusing on the acceptability of blackface in Halloween costumes.

Question from Drew in Detroit: Drew, a 40-year-old white man, seeks advice on how to decline his wife's request to dress up in a 1920s Great Gatsby-themed costume without causing conflict.

Hosts' Responses: Phil offers practical solutions, suggesting alternative venues for parties and emphasizing the importance of respecting cultural sensitivities. Turner complements Phil's advice by advising strategic planning to avoid parental backlash.

Notable Quote:

• Phil Duckett: “You're between a rock and a hard place, my boy... What am I willing to risk for greatness?” (24:31)

Question from Kelly in Buffalo: Kelly asks why dressing up as Michael Jackson with altered skin tone is offensive, seeking to understand the racial implications.

Hosts' Responses: Phil provides a historical context, explaining that blackface stems from oppressive practices like minstrel shows and is deeply offensive due to its origins in racism. He emphasizes that even if the intent isn't malicious, the historical weight makes it unacceptable.

Notable Quote:

• Phil Duckett: “Blackface started so bad that it was like, we can't redeem ourselves for even doing Sambo. So anytime we do it, it comes off in poor taste...” (37:08)

6. Historical Context and the Offensiveness of Blackface [39:00 – 43:58]

Phil delves deeper into the origins of blackface, tracing it back to minstrel shows where white performers caricatured Black individuals, perpetuating harmful stereotypes. He stresses that blackface is a painful reminder of a racist past and remains offensive today because of its association with historical oppression.

Key Points:

• Blackface originated from white minstrel shows mocking Black people.
• It perpetuates outdated and harmful stereotypes.
• Even with no malicious intent, the historical context renders it offensive.

Notable Quotes:

• Phil Duckett: “The oppressed can't be racist. Y'all started racism... blackface has such a bad stigma.” (38:39)
• Turner Sparks: “Black, 9, 11. You okay?” (39:49)

7. Exploring Future Scenarios and Broader Implications [41:01 – 44:56]

Joe Russell poses a hypothetical scenario: in a future where racial equality is achieved, would blackface ever be acceptable? The hosts engage in a speculative discussion, contemplating the persistent impact of historical racism and the complexities of cultural expression.

Key Points:

• Even in a hypothetically equal future, the historical baggage of blackface makes it problematic.
• Cultural expressions are deeply rooted in historical contexts that influence their acceptability.

Notable Quote:

• Phil Duckett: “We can never be racist because we were the ones who were getting beat.” (37:25)

8. Conclusion and Final Thoughts [43:50 – End]

As the episode wraps up, Turner and Phil reiterate the main takeaway: blackface is inherently offensive due to its racist origins and cannot be justified as merely a costume choice. They encourage listeners to understand the historical context and respect cultural sensitivities.

Final Quote:

• Phil Duckett: “Never forget. It's hard. Blackface is black. 9, 11. You okay?” (39:46)

Turner concludes with a festive note, wishing everyone a Happy Halloween and encouraging continued dialogue on race and cultural understanding.

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Key Takeaways:

• Blackface is Offensive: Rooted in racist history, blackface perpetuates harmful stereotypes and remains offensive regardless of intent.

• Importance of Dialogue: Open conversations about race, even when uncomfortable, are essential for progress and understanding.

• Cultural Sensitivity in Costumes: When choosing costumes, especially those that involve racial characteristics, it's crucial to be aware of the cultural and historical implications.

• Historical Context Matters: Understanding the origins and impacts of cultural practices helps in making informed and respectful choices today.

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Notable Timestamped Quotes:

• 03:51: Phil Duckett: “The only way to solve racism is to confront racism.”
• 09:57: Phil Duckett: “I'm not one of your little friends" means "you can't play with me.”
• 24:31: Phil Duckett: “What am I willing to risk for greatness?”
• 37:08: Phil Duckett: “Blackface started so bad that it was like, we can't redeem ourselves for even doing Sambo.”
• 39:46: Phil Duckett: “Never forget. It's hard. Blackface is black. 9, 11. You okay?”

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Conclusion:

This episode of Black and White Advice serves as a crucial reminder of the enduring impact of racial history on contemporary cultural practices. Through candid discussions and insightful humor, Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett effectively educate their audience on why blackface is unacceptable, fostering a deeper understanding and respect for cultural sensitivities.

Transcript

[Phil Duckett]

Blackface is black. 911. You okay?

[Turner Sparks]

Black 9 11.

[Phil Duckett]

Have you ever had a question you wanted to ask opposite race but you were too nervous to ask?

[Turner Sparks]

I'm Turner Sparks.

[Phil Duckett]

And I'm Phil Duckett.

[Turner Sparks]

And this is Black and White Advice.

[Phil Duckett]

Where we answer all your questions about race, even the scary ones.

[Turner Sparks]

This is Black and White Advice.

[Phil Duckett]

You've got a question but you're scared to ask. Just drop the boys a message. Cause they're up to the task. They're all in the dice. They ain't always nice but you can't think twice and get it plucking white and blood. Black and white acquiesce.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, everybody. Welcome to the show. My name is Turner Sparks, and I'm the Real Deal.

[Phil Duckett]

Field of Thrill. What's up, baby?

[Turner Sparks]

Look at that.

[Phil Duckett]

He's like, yeah. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Episode three. We are here, before we get going, a couple things to clean up because we put out two episodes now with no warning to the human race as to what's coming at him. First of all, Happy Halloween.

[Phil Duckett]

Happy Halloween.

[Turner Sparks]

If you're watching us on YouTube, you can see us. If you're listening, we're in Halloween costumes. I'm a cowboy.

[Phil Duckett]

Turner looks like the understudy for Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain.

[Turner Sparks]

Hey, easy, easy.

[Phil Duckett]

Look like they just had you blowing dudes in your trailer to stay ready open.

[Turner Sparks]

At least for like, Woody from Toy Story. But I didn't know. Just like the. The. The only gay cowboy you could think of.

[Phil Duckett]

Woody won gay on the. Andy wasn't gay.

[Turner Sparks]

No, I'm not talking about him. I'm saying you went with the gay guy.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, I call it how I see it. Big Sparks and Buddy.

[Turner Sparks]

I think I look fantastic.

[Phil Duckett]

You look like you can two step on a ding a show.

[Turner Sparks]

Anyway, you're the construction worker.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, I'm a union man. Hello.

[Turner Sparks]

Ymca.

[Phil Duckett]

Yes, sir, Village People. Me. You know, Stonewall it is. But no, I. I like this because people can't tell if it's. It's a costume or if I'm just.

[Turner Sparks]

A successful brother or you just got off work.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, yeah. They're like, at least he's employed.

[Turner Sparks]

What do they make, like 70 bucks an hour now?

[Phil Duckett]

More than that in this city.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, yeah. Union.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, my. That union, they clean up takes care of Buddy. And once you hit overtime, you sitting pretty. Yeah, that's what I like.

[Turner Sparks]

Halloween episode. All these questions. I think all, or at least most are going to be Halloween themed. Also, we need to tell people because the first two episodes we Put out. Everyone's asking, like, hey, who's that gremlin sitting in the back of the room?

[Phil Duckett]

Joe.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

First of all, when he. When it cuts as Joe's picture, it looked like he filmed it on a Nokia. So everybody was like, what the fuck is that?

[Turner Sparks]

It looks like one of those North Korea's hostage videos.

[Phil Duckett]

Like, read it.

[Turner Sparks]

Like, why is he. He's still over there.

[Phil Duckett]

Read it.

[Turner Sparks]

Who's that kid? He's still there. They haven't killed him yet. Turns out it's just Joe Russell, our producer. But we. We haven't introduced him. We forgot to introduce him the first two episodes.

[Phil Duckett]

That makes sense. So people. Yeah, people didn't know.

[Turner Sparks]

And also everyone says, get him a real camera. We can't afford one yet. Yeah, so it's all webcam.

[Phil Duckett]

It's all right. You guys get the fucking picture. So until then, he'll be fine.

[Turner Sparks]

Anyway, he's doing. Is he. He's waving to the camera right now. He's doing the tough work, everybody. He's spinning the dials. He's cutting the film. How do they cut film? What do they do?

[Phil Duckett]

Edit the video? Edit the video, cut the film.

[Turner Sparks]

He's gonna. He's microfiche. He's in a green. He's in a dark room somewhere.

[Joe Russell]

You guys know my costume?

[Turner Sparks]

What's your costume?

[Joe Russell]

I'm the Prophet Muhammad.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, my.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, we definitely royalty in the house.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't even know the level of fucked up that is. I was gonna go with group home kid.

[Turner Sparks]

People have already been saying this is the most racist show they've ever.

[Phil Duckett]

You people, let me tell you, they've.

[Turner Sparks]

Ever seen in their life.

[Phil Duckett]

The feedback I've gotten when people. Like when your co host asks you. Cause they don't know your name.

[Turner Sparks]

I have a name.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, they don't know yet. Cause they weren't big enough. So you're just the white dude. They're like, when he asked you, have you ever voted? They're like, I would have preferred him to call you a N. I said, really?

[Turner Sparks]

I'm sorry. Is this a comedy show? I thought, well, they want just to be serious.

[Phil Duckett]

I knew you were joking. They want you to have, like, real racism toward me. I was like, we can't do that cause I'm free.

[Turner Sparks]

How boring would this show be?

[Phil Duckett]

Well, it'd be like everyday life just.

[Turner Sparks]

Sitting down with a cup of coffee. Now tell me about yourself.

[Phil Duckett]

The rest of you colored? Yeah. No, I think it works great. I think we got a good dynamic. And I think the same Thing I told my friends and other white people who were concerned, white people who are concerned, the only way to solve racism is to confront racism.

[Turner Sparks]

You gotta go straight ahead.

[Phil Duckett]

You gotta go through it. There's no around it. You gotta go through it and come out in the shit a better man.

[Turner Sparks]

Everyone. I agree. Everyone in America says we need to have a dialogue. Guess what? This is the dialogue.

[Phil Duckett]

Right? And it's highly uncomfortable.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, it's not gonna be pretty.

[Phil Duckett]

But guess what? Through our differences, unity.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, we're gonna come together. We'll be on Oprah soon.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Well, we can only pray.

[Joe Russell]

So, Phil, there's a lot of backlash with Turner about that. Like asking if black people vote. But I'm confused, because every time I turn on the news, they're always talking about getting out the black vote around election season.

[Turner Sparks]

Jerry, you're not helping me out.

[Phil Duckett]

You're not helping them at all. But. Okay, that's bad.

[Joe Russell]

Like, I thought that.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm confused because let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. That is a fair point.

[Turner Sparks]

They do say a lot of times we need to get out the vote.

[Phil Duckett]

Because we do need to get out and vote. Let me tell you. Most educated black folks vote.

[Turner Sparks]

Sure.

[Phil Duckett]

That is a fact. It's the others that tend to fall to the wayside in the whole ballot race, you know? So they're trying. They're trying to get the brothers who are eligible. Because here's the thing. Most brothers. Not even. I wouldn't say most. That sounds fucked up. A lot of brothers are ineligible to vote because of criminal history, whether they did it or didn't. So the ones that are eligible to vote, they need those votes because it does turn the tides. And a lot of us, we're like. I don't give a fuck about either one of them. So I ain't gonna vote for shit. I'm not one of them people. You know? I mean, I'm still gonna pick the devil I know. You know, Kamala Harris. I didn't say that. I just said, I'm gonna pick the devil I know. So whoever that may be on November 5th, that's who I'm picking.

[Turner Sparks]

Sure.

[Phil Duckett]

You know. All right, so that's why it comes off like that. Thanks, Joe. Playing devil's advocate. Gotta get out the boat, you fucking bigot.

[Turner Sparks]

They don't ever say, we gotta get white people to vote.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, you're the majority.

[Turner Sparks]

We gotta get.

[Phil Duckett]

The Electoral College is white.

[Turner Sparks]

Is it? Wait, no.

[Phil Duckett]

What?

[Turner Sparks]

It's not a real college.

[Phil Duckett]

It's a pwi. What does that mean predominantly white institution, The Electoral College. The Electoral College is a pwa. Might as well be University of Texas.

[Turner Sparks]

Where'd you go to school? I graduated from the Electoral College.

[Phil Duckett]

Hell, yeah. You know how hard it is to get into that bitch?

[Turner Sparks]

Phil, what I'm trying to do right now is promote your special. Oh, well, that was all we were trying. What are we, nine minutes in?

[Phil Duckett]

Well, I think that's a perfect way to do it. Gentrification is the name of my special.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, yeah. Gentry.

[Phil Duckett]

Gentry. Ducket is who I was. Was birthed.

[Turner Sparks]

You can listen to it now on all what it.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, it'll be on. Well, it'll be on every major platform.

[Turner Sparks]

Spotify.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Yeah. So all the. All the audio platforms, it'll be available on.

[Turner Sparks]

Even video.

[Phil Duckett]

It'll be out on YouTube. But I'm gonna drop it on YouTube a week after the audio drops.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, by the time they hear this, the audio's already out.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, the audio will already be out.

[Turner Sparks]

And then the video will come out in a few days.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So subscribe to Phil's YouTube channel now. You can find that through our YouTube channel, Black and White Advice on YouTube. Also, subscribe to our YouTube, subscribe to our podcast, watch us, listen to us, rate us, review us on all that stuff. Don't call me a racist, but besides.

[Phil Duckett]

That don't comment racist shit. Send those into the inbox like normal people.

[Turner Sparks]

Exactly. You know, I mean, have some class about blackandwhiteadvicepodmail.com. you can send those all privately.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. And say whatever you want.

[Turner Sparks]

We'll review them. Also, see me on tour, November 16th in Los Angeles, California. December 5th, New York City. Those are my dates coming up. Now let's get to the show.

[Phil Duckett]

I have a quick question. I've been watching your standup clips. Do you perform in a suit every time you get on stage?

[Turner Sparks]

Sometimes I'll say.

[Phil Duckett]

That is the.

[Turner Sparks]

Not.

[Phil Duckett]

That is the whitest thing.

[Turner Sparks]

Not doing spots around New York City.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

Why do you think I'm qualified to host this show?

[Phil Duckett]

That's why. I didn't know. Well, you were in a tux one time. I'm like, where the fuck is Turner?

[Turner Sparks]

That was for a guy's 60th birthday. He flew me. He wanted me to come to Eugene, Oregon. Oregon.

[Phil Duckett]

He's sex trafficking.

[Turner Sparks]

He's sex trafficked for me. Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

He's like, put that little suit on. I got you.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. His name is Puff Daddy, and I went to his birthday not knowing what I was gonna get myself into. Wow.

[Phil Duckett]

The freak Off. And the tux.

[Turner Sparks]

It was. Yeah, it was him. It was I. And then, you know, him and Jay Z and Beyonce passed me around. Ashton Kutcher, the whole crew.

[Phil Duckett]

Nothing to do with this list. Jay Z is still a great man to me.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm not saying he's not.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm trying to get on title.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm not saying he's not great.

[Phil Duckett]

This is crazy. I'm like, you gonna name names? But Anyway, no gentrification. October 25th. And so, yeah, get it. Check it out. It's on everything. You guys, I think you'll really enjoy it.

[Turner Sparks]

You're gonna love it.

[Phil Duckett]

All right, now let's get into some racist shit.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, we got a bit called what's that Mean? This is a game. What is it called? Bit. It's a game called what's that Mean? We don't know enough about it. There's. There's slang in both languages. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Are there certain sayings, saying cultures?

[Turner Sparks]

Why did I say languages, cultures?

[Phil Duckett]

Well, Ebonics to you is a different language.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay, yeah, it is.

[Phil Duckett]

It is different sayings and different cultures. And we're going to see if we get. Understand what they mean or do we can he can. I guess what?

[Turner Sparks]

So I'm going to read you a white saying, and then you're going to read me a black saying, and then I need to see if I know what you're talking about and vice versa.

[Phil Duckett]

Absolutely.

[Turner Sparks]

And if you get it right. Look at that.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, we got sound effects.

[Turner Sparks]

We got sound effects. And if you get it wrong.

[Phil Duckett]

Nah.

[Turner Sparks]

How about that?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, who wants to go first?

[Phil Duckett]

Well, white people go first and everything else. Let me get it, all right? If you were growing up and you heard your mom or father or grandmother say, I'm not one of your little friends, what does that mean?

[Turner Sparks]

I'm not one of your little friends. All right. Is this a midget joke again?

[Phil Duckett]

This gets so bad. So. No, we stayed away from midgets because people got on me about saying they have parenthesis legs. So I trying to. Trying to stay off of them.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, so little friend doesn't mean little people. Okay.

[Phil Duckett]

You think my mom's saying, I'm not one of your midget friends? Do you think that's what that means?

[Turner Sparks]

No, I don't know. I didn't listen, I didn't grow up.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm not. I'm not one of your little friends, okay?

[Turner Sparks]

I'm not. It means you can't. It means you can't play with me.

[Phil Duckett]

Thank you.

[Turner Sparks]

Turner. Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

Good job, buddy. Yeah. Don't. I am not one of them. Do not play with me. That's what that means.

[Turner Sparks]

You can.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

You can, like, scam and lie to your friends.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Or talk baggage. I'm not one of you. Get too comfortable. I'm not one of your little friends.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Okay.

[Phil Duckett]

Immediately.

[Turner Sparks]

Not a midget. Okay. All right. Ready?

[Phil Duckett]

I'm ready.

[Turner Sparks]

Here's this one. My. My uncle and his friends in New Mexico say all the time, what does it mean to say eaten by a wolf and shit off a cliff?

[Phil Duckett]

Worst case scenario.

[Turner Sparks]

You want to talk your way through it.

[Phil Duckett]

I've eaten by a wolf. Then shit it off a cliff.

[Turner Sparks]

So you.

[Phil Duckett]

You might give it to me in a sentence.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay. You might. Oh, my gosh. I'm. I feel like I've been eaten by a wolf and shit off a cliff.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, hungover. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Give it to me in some context now. Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

Have you heard that one before?

[Phil Duckett]

No, I haven't.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay. Yeah, it's a good east, west Texas.

[Phil Duckett]

My dad used to say was. He said, boy, look like he'd been rolled hard and hung up wet.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, my dad says that, too.

[Commercial Voice]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

I was like, that's a really white one. I was like, he'll guess that put away wet. My dad was a black Republican, so it was a lot of in between. Some that. All right. I'm out here fighting bears with switches.

[Turner Sparks]

Switches. As my grandma used to say.

[Phil Duckett]

You ever get beat with a switch?

[Turner Sparks]

No. But she said for Christmas when we were acting bad, she would get me a bundle of switches and then beat you with them. That would be your Christmas present if you didn't turn around. Your attitude. I will say she never followed through on the. On the threat.

[Phil Duckett]

Wow.

[Turner Sparks]

We never got beat up with sticks from the yard.

[Phil Duckett]

That's black and white advice right there. We. Where I'm from, you would have to go pick your own switch. But a switch isn't a bundle. A switch is one from a tree.

[Turner Sparks]

You would pick that.

[Phil Duckett]

You have to pick your own switch. Growing up your grandma go, you act up. Go get a switch. And it better be the right one, because you'd be a smart ass and try to get this little measly stick. She's like, and now you're gonna get beat worse. So you understand, like, picking your own execution tool is like, a crazy thing.

[Turner Sparks]

Now we're back to North Korea.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, right, dude. A switch. And it would be. My mom used to, like, strip the stick off all the leads 1F and just leave the two leaves at the top, so it's more aerodynamic, buddy. And I'm talking. She used to work that bitch like Zorro. You just have.

[Turner Sparks]

And then do you have, like.

[Phil Duckett]

You have welts and little cuts?

[Turner Sparks]

Where'd you get hit? Like, the legs?

[Phil Duckett]

Back?

[Turner Sparks]

Just wherever.

[Phil Duckett]

Wherever she gets.

[Turner Sparks]

And now are you running away?

[Phil Duckett]

No. Because then after that, she make you go sit in the bathtub. Holy.

[Turner Sparks]

With salt.

[Phil Duckett]

No, she wasn't torture. But let me. The water was hot enough, buddy. You. It didn't. You couldn't tell the difference. It hurt. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Open wounds.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

But you.

[Phil Duckett]

You'd sleep so good that night. You slept so good after that ass whooping. Yeah, it was different. Yeah, But. Yeah, a bundle of sticks is. That's why I was like, that's a odd thing to do.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, so what's the quote again?

[Phil Duckett]

I'm fighting bears with switches.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm fighting bears with switches. Which means sticks. Which means I'm. I overbooked my schedule today.

[Phil Duckett]

That's impressively wrong.

[Turner Sparks]

No, coming over my head.

[Phil Duckett]

It means life is whooping my ass. Life is close. Yeah, you were. You were right there. Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Phil Duckett]

I overbooked my schedule.

[Turner Sparks]

I need to speak with my secretary.

[Phil Duckett]

I was like, yeah, kind of. If you could gentrify the quote.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, you ready for the next one? Are you wearing socks? I say this often.

[Phil Duckett]

How much money you got? It's a financial thing. No, I always took it because people who don't wear socks got money.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, you're right.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. It's a real social status.

[Turner Sparks]

And, you know, you have a lot of money. You put money in your shoe like you have a penny loafer.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, that's the level of rich I've never heard of.

[Turner Sparks]

You seen those guys? They have a penny in their shoe.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, but is that where penny loafer came from?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, because it's a penny in there.

[Phil Duckett]

Why would anybody ever. Because back in the day, a penny could get you something. So they would keep it in there.

[Turner Sparks]

I think it's like, I'm so rich, I'll walk on money.

[Phil Duckett]

Why would you not put 100 up? A penny is copper. It would actually hurt to walk on.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, it's not underneath. It's on the top.

[Phil Duckett]

They would put a penny on top of the loafer back in the day, like, where the fact check. Because I'm like, there's no 100%.

[Turner Sparks]

100%. It's where you're. Okay, so you got a loafer.

[Phil Duckett]

No, I know what a penny loafer.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. On a regular shoe. Like, where you Would tie it where the lace is. Instead. There's that, like, open spot in the loafer. And then you put a penny in it.

[Phil Duckett]

Why the fuck would anybody put a penny in there?

[Turner Sparks]

It was just like, 1980s rich guy, Wolf of Wal.

[Phil Duckett]

A penny in 1980. If you said 1909, I'd be like, okay, okay.

[Turner Sparks]

All right. Anyway, I'm. Are you wearing socks? That's the question. Are you wearing socks? That's how I would say.

[Phil Duckett]

Are you cold?

[Turner Sparks]

Are. Are you ready to be surprised?

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, because I'm going to knock your socks off.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Now let me say it.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay, that's. That's kind of fucking clever, I guess.

[Turner Sparks]

Are you wearing socks? And they say, yes. And you go, well, prepare to have them knocked off.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, not for long.

[Turner Sparks]

Not for long.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay. Are you. Where. Yeah, I've never. That is a thoroughly Caucasian statement. I've never heard that.

[Turner Sparks]

It's a. You can use it.

[Phil Duckett]

I won't be. Are you wearing socks? I'm. Are you wearing a G string? All right, last one. Last one.

[Turner Sparks]

What are we, one to one?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I know my car.

[Turner Sparks]

I know my car.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. If you ride with somebody and they're like, chill, I know my car.

[Turner Sparks]

Don't be a backseat driver. Oh, wait, I know my car. Can I guess again? I know. Well, because you put it. You put oil in your car. I know how my body works.

[Phil Duckett]

Pretty. Okay, you know what? I'm willing to give it because you're right there.

[Turner Sparks]

Am I close? I've never heard this before in my life.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay?

[Turner Sparks]

So I know my car.

[Phil Duckett]

So scenario you ride with your homeboy in the car you driving. He looks over, your gas tank is on E. He's like, you ain't gonna stop for gas. Like, bro, I know my car, Okay? I know my car.

[Turner Sparks]

You don't make it.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I got, like, at least 10 more miles.

[Turner Sparks]

20 more miles.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. You're not gonna. You're not gonna put gas in your car. I know my car.

[Turner Sparks]

Stop telling me what to do.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I know my car.

[Turner Sparks]

I know my car. All right. I'm using that. Okay. All right, last one up. This came from Joe, actually. Up to my ass in alligators. I'm up to my ass in alligators today.

[Phil Duckett]

You're overwhelmed.

[Turner Sparks]

Close enough. Busy, right? I'm really busy.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

I mean, that's sort of like the bear with the switch.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, but pretty. Pretty much. Pretty kind of on the same lines.

[Joe Russell]

Imagine. Imagine one day you're fighting a bear off with a switch and you're up to your ass in alligators, you got.

[Turner Sparks]

A bear on one side, an alligator on the other side.

[Phil Duckett]

Just go ahead and call the coroner, boys. You're not going make it. So I end up winning 2:1.

[Turner Sparks]

You won 2:1.

[Phil Duckett]

Woo.

[Turner Sparks]

Look at that. YMCA. YMCA. All right, we will be right back with your black and white advice questions.

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[Phil Duckett]

No purchase necessary VGW Group void wear prohibited by law 18 + terms and conditions apply.

[Turner Sparks]

Hey, you want to get bonus content early episodes and have your questions answered on the show?

[Phil Duckett]

Well then subscribe to our [e-mail] blackandwhiteadvice and subscribe right now.

[Turner Sparks]

Do it and we'll give you a shout out on a future episode.

[Phil Duckett]

And I might call you the N word.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, we're back. Phil is sweating his face off in this Halloween costume.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, let me tell you, everybody know black people got high blood pressure. So leave me alone. Happens.

[Turner Sparks]

Question number one. This is from Drew in Detroit.

[Phil Duckett]

What up Drew?

[Turner Sparks]

He wants to know what up though. Hi, I'm a 40 year old white man in Detroit.

[Phil Duckett]

Your life is gangster already.

[Turner Sparks]

It's a tough life. That's a tough life my wife wants me to dress up from for a 1920s Great Gatsby themed costume party with her friends. What's the best way to tell her no.

[Phil Duckett]

What was his name again?

[Turner Sparks]

Drew in Detroit.

[Phil Duckett]

Drew. Don't be coy with me, Drew. We know y'all like to relive the glory days. Go ahead and put on your best 1920s. Call everybody colored and jigaboo and whatnot. I don't know why we act. You don't. First of all, clearly, you haven't seen the Great Gatsby movie with DiCaprio. My black ass. I'd put on a tuxedo and get him grab a tray of crab cakes just to go to that party. I'm like, I'll serve. Just give me the great gas. Because a different time, man, I would definitely go. I would go to that. I would definitely.

[Turner Sparks]

So you would just say go. But he's saying, what else would you do?

[Phil Duckett]

Sit at home and watch Halloween and jack off?

[Turner Sparks]

By the way, this is a Halloween themed question. I forgot to say, because he's talking about dressing up. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm like, what else would you do on Halloween?

[Turner Sparks]

I would say, if you don't want to go, you do the. You got. You do the woke rapid. And you say, well, you know what? I don't think we should relive that time.

[Phil Duckett]

Wow. I know white people who do that. It pisses me off every time. I was like, get off your high horse.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, it's not a high horse. It's a way out.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, it's a way out. Y'all don't really be feeling like that. Like, we're better than this. I'm like, are you Turner? So I don't know, but you're right. You could always.

[Turner Sparks]

You just picked a random white name and landed on me.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm telling you, it just slipped out. It just. Bro, your name is perfect.

[Turner Sparks]

I want to hear just these race. These people who said I was racist last episode, I want just as much on the other side.

[Phil Duckett]

They can't say that to me because everybody knows I'm racist.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

It's like a known thing. I'm from South Carolina, bro. They only make kind of races in January 6th races. There's no in between. And they're all fresh out of January sixes right now. They're in prison. So, yeah, they know it's a hint.

[Turner Sparks]

Next question.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm down.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, wait. I have one more thing to say on that one. If you want out, do it in the night in character. Like 1920s character.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, yeah, she.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, exactly. Listen, damsel, you know, like, you go already. Get the costume ready, and they'd Be like, I will not go to this event.

[Phil Duckett]

That's gonna backfire. She's like, I mean, you're already dressed.

[Turner Sparks]

I guess it's.

[Phil Duckett]

You can't be dressed, you've already done half the effort. All right, like, look here, toots. Yeah, you gotta do that in your house. Slippers in a row with a cigarette hanging out so she thinks she's gonna get beat. Relive the times.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, all right, next question.

[Phil Duckett]

Too far. Got it. Sometimes I push down below.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, Richard, in Ontario, California, we got.

[Phil Duckett]

Us a great white northerner. He's from Ontario. That's Canada.

[Turner Sparks]

Ontario, California. Oh, it's like a LA suburb really. I don't know if it's Orange County, I didn't know or where.

[Phil Duckett]

I've been to Orange County. Beautiful. Trump supporters.

[Turner Sparks]

I was gonna say very white.

[Phil Duckett]

He was the white.

[Turner Sparks]

So anyway, this guy I have, he's black. He said, I have a white girlfriend who is really hot, like 11 out of 10, smoke show. She wants to have a Halloween party at my house. Oh, he says I'm black. And my parents think Halloween is the work of the devil, but they are out of town. I think this kid's in like high school or slightly after high school. He lives at home.

[Phil Duckett]

Lives at home?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Well, what should I do? So he's got this like super hot white girlfriend. She wants to have a Halloween party at his parents house while they're away. It's a roll of the dice.

[Phil Duckett]

Tell you somebody, I mean, I get where he's at. First of all, I grew up very similar, black, southern, religious. Halloween is not like a. I just celebrate Halloween. Growing up, I didn't start dressing up till I was in college. And that's when I knew you get more ass if you put on a costume.

[Turner Sparks]

But like, you didn't go trick or treating growing up?

[Phil Duckett]

No, we went to hallelujah night at church.

[Turner Sparks]

What does that mean?

[Phil Duckett]

So we go to church, we dress up like biblical characters. And then they would have different like games at the church. Like Pen the telling Doggy Bob for apples. They had like little station face painting and you just go around to different stations and just fill up your pillowcase or candy bucket.

[Turner Sparks]

But you got candy.

[Phil Duckett]

You got candy. You got it at church. You doing church games?

[Turner Sparks]

No goblins.

[Phil Duckett]

No goblins and stuff. Because I mean, if you look at the meaning of All Hallows Eve, I mean it explains itself. I mean, it's a day to talk to the dead, to bring back spirits. As a Christian, like, like really religious person, that's Just not easy. I mean, because Halloween didn't start off as dressing up as some fun little ghosts back in the day. It was actual, like, a real fucking thing. Like, they were conjuring spirits.

[Turner Sparks]

But no one's still conjuring spirits.

[Phil Duckett]

Yes, the they do. I know plenty of, like, witches, like, and I didn't know it was a real thing. Like, women will say that there's no.

[Turner Sparks]

Such thing as witches.

[Phil Duckett]

Wicker religion is witches.

[Turner Sparks]

I know, but I know that is a witch. No, no, I know they think they're witches.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, of course, I'm not so dumb. Where I'm like, oh, my God, where's your kettle and broomstick? But they believe in it and they play with Ouija boards. And like, I. To this day, I would never touch. You couldn't pay me enough to touch a Ouija board. I'm swear to God, there's nothing you can.

[Turner Sparks]

What religion did you grow up in?

[Phil Duckett]

Southern Baptist. Non denominational. Like, it was kind of. We started off Southern and then went to non denominational.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Phil Duckett]

But yeah, couldn't go.

[Turner Sparks]

Couldn't go trick or treating, apparently. I don't think Richard either, but that.

[Phil Duckett]

To answer his question. You're between a rock and a hard place, my boy. The question you got to ask yourself is, what am I willing to risk for greatness?

[Turner Sparks]

Exactly.

[Phil Duckett]

That's what you got to ask. How bad do you want to ask? You know what I mean? Because if it means something to you, you'll say, fuck your parents. I'm going get some pussy. But then again, you are a good black man, so you ain't going to say fuck your parents. So I would say find an alternative venue to throw this party at if I were you. You still want the white girl dressing up? Because I'm telling you, I'll be in for the time of your life. And she dresses up in that little bunny outfit or whatever whore she decides to play.

[Turner Sparks]

By the way, we should pause right here and say we're assuming they're all over 18.

[Phil Duckett]

I pray to God they're all over 18.

[Turner Sparks]

We don't know his age. We just guessed.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay, well, if she's over 18, she's definitely wearing a horse outfit for Halloween, because that's just what you do. You're gonna have the time of your life. But is it risk? Is the risk worth burning a bridge with your family to get some ass? Because chances are you're not gonna be with this girl in a year or two in anyway if you're that young.

[Turner Sparks]

I think I have the answer you.

[Phil Duckett]

Get a hotel, have a hotel party.

[Turner Sparks]

Or you find your. Because. Because here's the issue with Ontario, California, that's LA cops you got. If they're, they're showing up, they're breaking up a party at your house, they're going to come. If you have it in a hotel, they're going to come. Here's what you do. You find your dumbest white friend and you tell them to convince him to do it at his house. You order kegs and you just have them delivered to his house. When they arrive at his house, he'll be like, whoa, I'm having a free beer.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, we're having a party and everybody just come.

[Turner Sparks]

You take your girlfriend to his house, then the cops are going to come to his house. He might get arrested, but who cares? And then by the time the cops show up, you leave, you're gone.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, buddy, I see the cops coming down the street, I'm already gone.

[Turner Sparks]

You're gone.

[Phil Duckett]

They won't even know I was at the party.

[Turner Sparks]

It's amateur move to ever host a high school party or college party at your parents house.

[Phil Duckett]

I threw a rager at my parents.

[Turner Sparks]

And how did that end up?

[Phil Duckett]

Phenomenal.

[Turner Sparks]

And everyone was cool with it.

[Phil Duckett]

Everybody.

[Turner Sparks]

Your Republican dad, no problem.

[Phil Duckett]

Of course they didn't know. So my dad was a college coach. So you get out of it.

[Turner Sparks]

They didn't know.

[Phil Duckett]

So how about this? My dad ends up finding out, God rest his soul. So my dad was a college basketball coach. The coach at University of South Carolina. The s the SEC tournament. The Gamecocks. Go Cox. Pause.

[Turner Sparks]

Miami of Ohio and Miami Ohio.

[Phil Duckett]

But we have some bad history. But I still, I still attended university there. But no. So my dad was at the SEC tournament with my mom and I was at the age because I was a senior that they were like bread. I don't get you a city this year. You should be old enough to be able to hold the house down for two days. Which I was like, of course, you.

[Turner Sparks]

Immediately threw a cat call.

[Phil Duckett]

Everybody you know, we got the place. And so the thing is, I literally. We had a big yard, like an acre worth of land. So there was only a couple houses in our neighborhood that could see our house. So I made everybody park on the opposite side of our house in the open lot so it looked like there were no cars there. It was a rager. Ended up being one of the greatest parties ever. My dad still found out. Nobody called the cops. No cops ever showed up. My dad gets back from his trip after all the cleanup and Everything I had left four beer cans outside on our patio with cigarette butts on top. And he was like, what's this about? I was like, oh, me and a couple friends just watched the game that night. And he was like, oh, he was like a couple friends. I was like, yeah, just a couple. But it was literally like 70, 80 people in there, which for a high school party is a fucking blowout.

[Turner Sparks]

That's pretty good.

[Phil Duckett]

That was pretty sick.

[Turner Sparks]

Did you ever go to those people's house where the parents would be there?

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, all my white friends. We don't care if you drink, as long as it's at our house.

[Turner Sparks]

I mean, that was not my parents.

[Phil Duckett]

That was definitely not my parent. And now that I am a parent, I think, like, how dumb could you be? Because it's not about right. Then let's say because kids are going to be kids. So I take your keys, whatever. You still find a way to sneak out. Whatever trouble you get in. Accident, kill somebody. They're like, where was he at last? I'm still the point of contact.

[Turner Sparks]

You're the law. I mean, the lawsuit is coming right at you.

[Phil Duckett]

That's on a good day. You're going to jail.

[Turner Sparks]

You're going to jail for serving minors.

[Phil Duckett]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

The minute a kid. Kids are having sex in your. Underage sex in your house.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

The minute one of them tells their parents, now you're an accomplice.

[Phil Duckett]

Exactly.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Those are the dumbest people on earth.

[Phil Duckett]

I used to love hanging there as a child, but as an adult, I was like, I would never be that.

[Turner Sparks]

That's my point for. For Richard. Find one of those kids.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Find one of those dumb kids where parents. Parents are even dumber.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And let go. Do. Go find. Take the girl to that house. Throw the party. Everyone says you need to. You need to surround yourself with people smarter than you. I hear that all the time. Wrong.

[Phil Duckett]

Only if you're trying to be successful.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, but who's. No one's doing that.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Dumber. You want dumber friends?

[Phil Duckett]

Be the smartest guy in the room.

[Turner Sparks]

Be the smartest so that they can.

[Phil Duckett]

Take the fall for it.

[Turner Sparks]

And if you're not, leave that room.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And find a dumber room that you can be the smartest. Yeah. Because you need people who will. Who will take the. Take the blame for you. And also the smarter you look. It's like if you're a girl, you don't. You want to be the hot girl in your group? You know?

[Phil Duckett]

First of all, I feel like women do that.

[Turner Sparks]

They do it anyway.

[Phil Duckett]

And they say they don't. Because I've seen a group of fives to tens, whatever. Just a. Like a good group to tens is a.

[Turner Sparks]

As a. That's a wide variance in one crew.

[Phil Duckett]

Let me tell you something. You never go home alone.

[Turner Sparks]

There's never two tens in a group.

[Phil Duckett]

There are, but they don't even like each other. When there's two tens in a group. There's always beef.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Because they. Because they're fighting for alpha female.

[Turner Sparks]

They like the six.

[Phil Duckett]

What I've noticed is, though, you in a crew, you'll get one to two very hot ones. Trickle down effect.

[Turner Sparks]

Sure.

[Phil Duckett]

To the. You know, to the gravelers. And what I found is. What I have found is the middle linebacker. Yeah. And the problem is they do that because I feel like. And I've talked to them, they're like, no, she's just a great person. I'm like, but you talk about her. You kind of pick on her. You really don't like her. It makes you feel better, and that's why you do it. And that's a fucking problem.

[Turner Sparks]

So I'm saying women have been doing this for years now. Men need to smarten up and do the same thing, but with how smart you are.

[Phil Duckett]

Men can't do that as a man. Okay, maybe. Oh, what? I mean, talking about looks as man. You can't come in as a 10 with a group of two women. They don't even let you in the club. Yeah, you got to have that. But no, you're talking about for getting out of things. Yeah. You always should have, like, a couple of dunces that can be the pawns.

[Turner Sparks]

Find a dunce, Richard.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, thank you. Find a dunce.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, next question.

[Phil Duckett]

That was great advice.

[Turner Sparks]

That was great. That might be the best advice.

[Phil Duckett]

And we actually, like, came together on that advice. Like on the same thing. That doesn't happen very often.

[Turner Sparks]

Next question. Phil in Sacramento.

[Phil Duckett]

One L or two whales? Phil.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, one L. Oh, he's like me. Oh, is that you?

[Phil Duckett]

Wow. Why don't you try learning your cohorts?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, Philip.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, they're all. Some people fell over 2L. Some people spell it with 1L.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm a 1L guy thinking Phil has. Who has? Phil. Okay, got it. Excuse me, Philip.

[Phil Duckett]

They say black people ain't gifted intellectually. You didn't know Philip could be 1L or 2. I thought I had a U in my name.

[Turner Sparks]

I said Phil. I thought it was an F, I, L, L, U, P. Are you dyslexic.

[Phil Duckett]

Phil? Up.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm kidding.

[Phil Duckett]

Holy shit.

[Turner Sparks]

Sacramento wants to know. California. A Halloween themed question. Why are all ghosts white?

[Phil Duckett]

You want me to answer that for real? I'll tell you why. They're all.

[Turner Sparks]

Sure, I got an answer.

[Phil Duckett]

I'll tell you why. Because white people, only people that get to die and they sleep, so they get to come back and haunt. When you killed abruptly by the police, you don't have time to reincarnate. Is that good enough answer for you, Philip? Only way you get to become a ghost if you die peacefully and you got shit to do. And white people always want to be busy and always be in somebody business so they come back as ghosts. Black people, we just so happy after we die that we got a break. We like, hell no. I ain't haunting nobody.

[Turner Sparks]

But why do. Why do ghosts have. Because ghosts aren't white people. They have a white sheet. Is that because they die in bed?

[Phil Duckett]

Ghosts don't have white sheets. You've never seen a ghost before?

[Turner Sparks]

A ghost has a white sheet over it.

[Phil Duckett]

That's what I'm saying. No, that's what TV puts a skeleton with a white. Have you ever seen a real ghost?

[Turner Sparks]

I don't know.

[Phil Duckett]

I have.

[Turner Sparks]

You have?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. They're people. Halloween, church, Halloween, Is that Hallelujah night. We think we're coming.

[Turner Sparks]

Hallelujah night.

[Phil Duckett]

First of all, take that as a sign of disrespect.

[Turner Sparks]

Don't play with the Lord.

[Phil Duckett]

Don't play with Jesus. Don't play with Jesus. Number one. No. Don't be playing with my Lord. But no, it's a thing, bro. Spirits are real. Turner.

[Turner Sparks]

I was thinking of the one with the she.

[Phil Duckett]

That's the clan.

[Turner Sparks]

That's Casper.

[Phil Duckett]

That is the clan. And that is a different type of ghost.

[Joe Russell]

But there's like. No, he's like a Cyclops.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. No, no, no. It's like I got a pointy thing, right?

[Phil Duckett]

I'm like, no, that's fire. Different type of ghosts.

[Turner Sparks]

That goes.

[Phil Duckett]

But. But no, man. Yeah. You've seen Sir Headless Nick in Harry Potter.

[Turner Sparks]

I've never seen Harry Potter.

[Phil Duckett]

Are you fucking joking?

[Turner Sparks]

I'm serious. I've never seen Harry Potter. I don't like I was gonna say.

[Phil Duckett]

You'Re a white man. I mean, I love Harry Potter, but I'm like, I've actually never. I don't know if I've met a white person that hasn't seen Harry Potter.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, now you have. I don't like dragon. They have dragons. I don't like.

[Phil Duckett]

That's Game of Thrones.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Spells casting. I don't. Magic. It's. Come on.

[Phil Duckett]

Really?

[Turner Sparks]

What are we doing?

[Phil Duckett]

What? What are we doing? Crazy Harry Potter. Turner. I. Okay, listen to. If we get to 400 subscribers, I will make Turner watch the first three movies of Harry Potter. I pro. And we. And we'll document it.

[Turner Sparks]

Patreons.

[Phil Duckett]

We're not even talking about Patreon.

[Turner Sparks]

We.

[Phil Duckett]

I just want four subscribers to the YouTube channel.

[Turner Sparks]

How long it's. It's like 10 movies, right?

[Phil Duckett]

That's why I said only the first three.

[Turner Sparks]

They grow up through them all, buddy. They start out, they're like five.

[Phil Duckett]

You were in for a real treat, buddy. Oh, the first trip to Hogwarts is magical.

[Turner Sparks]

Hogwarts. Who's the white person around?

[Phil Duckett]

I guess me, motherfucker. Because I like good cinema. Okay. J.K. rowling did a big one on that. Anyway.

[Turner Sparks]

Damn.

[Phil Duckett]

I did not know that. I. I'm literally shocked on that. I was like, wow.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. I've never been interested. I think I'm too old.

[Phil Duckett]

Feel like you're like a Minecraft type.

[Turner Sparks]

It came out when I was, like, in college, I think.

[Phil Duckett]

Couldn't have. Turner, you're close to my age. I think you're a little older.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm a little older.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm 36.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm 42. Oh, I'm an old man.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Because I was in middle school when it came out, so you would have been in.

[Turner Sparks]

I was in College. Who's 20 years old. I'm not like Friday night, I'm not going out. I'm not going out for Halloween for all the hot chicks. I'm gonna stay in and watch Harry Potter.

[Phil Duckett]

Or if you were smart, you dress up as Harry Potter and bang the hot chicks.

[Turner Sparks]

Those were like kids that were into.

[Phil Duckett]

Harry that took a hard turn. I didn't think those were the kids. That's true. I guess a year time, that would have been a thing. All right, Fair. Damn. I am. Riddle me impressed.

[Turner Sparks]

But, yeah, I like your ghost. I like your answer. I had nothing to add.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

Final, final one, final question of the day. Oh, this is from. I don't know the name of. It's someone in Buffalo.

[Phil Duckett]

She sent it to me. Yeah, this is Kelly.

[Turner Sparks]

Kelly.

[Phil Duckett]

Shout out to Kelly, man. Kelly, one of the best hairdressers in Buffalo. Oh, she didn't even pay me to say it.

[Turner Sparks]

Look at that. All right, should we plug her business or.

[Phil Duckett]

I thought about it, but wait till.

[Turner Sparks]

We read the question.

[Phil Duckett]

Wait till we read the questions.

[Turner Sparks]

If you didn't like me, you're gonna Hate Kelly and Buffalo.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, yeah. Because this was a. This was a tough question.

[Turner Sparks]

This came to you. Kelly in Buffalo says, I love a good costume. I love it detailed and as authentic as possible. With that being said.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, that's how you know, it gets racist.

[Turner Sparks]

Here's. With that being said, if I wanted to be Michael Jackson from the 1980s for Halloween, I know this is offensive to black people, but I would love to make my skin tone the same as his skin tone. If you wanted to dress up like Taylor Swift, I wouldn't have. Sorry. And went full white chicks and quotes. I wouldn't have a problem with that.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, the oppressor never has a problem.

[Turner Sparks]

She says, I sincerely don't want to be ignorant. I just want to know why. Why it's so offensive. P.S. this year I'm being Macho man because I'm white trash in my heart.

[Phil Duckett]

And you know what?

[Turner Sparks]

I do like that.

[Phil Duckett]

The cream of the crop. I love Macho Man. I love it. Let me.

[Turner Sparks]

The cream. I'll tell you something.

[Phil Duckett]

Macho man is a great thing. Number one, I love Macho. He's one of my all time favorite WWF people. WCW people. I think wcw. He did both. Yeah, he did both. So. But Kelly snap into a Slim Jim.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Turner's still caught up on this is what I'm gonna take, Kelly. Because, you know, white people ask me all this like this. When white people say, well, why can't I say the N word? You know, I don't mean any bias. A term of endearment.

[Turner Sparks]

Can I just throw in something quick?

[Phil Duckett]

Sure.

[Turner Sparks]

I think in Buffalo you can.

[Phil Duckett]

Let's ass old Chicken Wing Joe over here. Yeah, I think.

[Turner Sparks]

I think you're in the clear, Kelly.

[Phil Duckett]

Nobody's gonna stop you.

[Turner Sparks]

You want to dress up. You want to do full blackface in Buffalo.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Who's gonna get upset? Thermometer falls.

[Phil Duckett]

Nobody's coming out there.

[Turner Sparks]

Who's even there, right? O.J. simpson.

[Phil Duckett]

Right. And he wouldn't care. You know, this is what I'm gonna say, man. Well, it's a double standard. You know what I mean? And white people hate to hear this. This is double standard. Yes. We could do. Black person could 100% go white face. Nobody gives a fuck.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

The only white person to ever go blackface and black people love it, was my boy from Tropica Thunder, Robert Downey. Okay? That is the only blackface that's ever been remotely like. I'm talking black people love that character so much, but it was done so tasteful and it was Done so well. It was like, you can't even be mad at this because it's so funny.

[Turner Sparks]

Was he also fully committed?

[Phil Duckett]

He fully committed. He could. It was just a great role. And the thing is, as well as he did, if they remade that movie right now, they still wouldn't put it out because it's just too risky. Yeah, but the thing is, there's not a black person. Seen him like, that motherfucker was the best. Okay? That's just a thing. All right? That's the only time that was acceptable. You white. Black people can always do white. Because I know you all hate to hear it, but the oppressed can't be racist. Y'all started racism. Y'all brought us here. Kidnapped has brought us here. I know it gets dark and heavy, but that is the truth. So we can never be racist because we were the ones who were getting beat. Like, if you don't realize, back in the day, white people used to do blackface all the time when they would act. It was a character called Sambo. Look it up. Sambo was always a white dude, black, with these big ass red lips that they would put on, and it would make white people laugh like, I want some watermelon mess. So it became racist long before we were even on this earth. And that's why blackface has such a bad stigma.

[Turner Sparks]

Sure.

[Phil Duckett]

It started so bad that it was like, we can't redeem ourselves for even doing sambo. So anytime we do it, it comes off in poor taste because we remember that we started blackface, you understand?

[Turner Sparks]

Like, we meaning white people.

[Phil Duckett]

We meaning when white people. We started this. So it was so offensive that they completely took it off tv. Sambo used to be on tv. White people used to do blackface for laughs on tv.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, it was. What are they called? Minstrel shows.

[Phil Duckett]

Yes, yes. And so now that we've forgotten about it, because you don't see it anymore, and it's so. You know, I mean, it's like.

[Turner Sparks]

And at that time. So here's my question. I. By the way, I agree with everything you say. I know what you're saying. I understand. So back then, though, it was the minstrel shows were the insanely offensive.

[Phil Duckett]

Insanely offensive.

[Turner Sparks]

And it was like a white guy, not only he was acting stupid, stupid black.

[Phil Duckett]

And they would also do Asian characters where they would paint them yellow and be like. It was like. So the thing is, white people started the racism of painting their self. So that's why. Just because we forget the past doesn't matter.

[Turner Sparks]

Tied to history.

[Phil Duckett]

Yes. And we forget history, which is why history can repeat itself when you forget it. And that's why. Because black people are grandparents and they still remember. Sambo.

[Turner Sparks]

Never forget.

[Phil Duckett]

Never forget. It's hard.

[Turner Sparks]

It's like, 9, 11.

[Phil Duckett]

Blackface is black. 9, 11. You okay?

[Turner Sparks]

Black, 9, 11.

[Phil Duckett]

And the problem is, y'all forget, but we don't. So that's why it's offensive, because. And back to your question. If you're dressing up as Michael Jackson, you think if you have the little curl with the leather jacket with the white glove and the loafers, we don't know you the fucking mind. Michael Jackson was white by the 80s. You don't have to add no pigment. We would get who you were. So to add blackface, just like, I want to be a for the night, it's just like, oh, for what reason?

[Turner Sparks]

We knew who you were without it an unnecessary risk.

[Phil Duckett]

It's unnecessary. It's just. I just want to do it just to see what it would be like. Rachel Del Dozer, whatever. Yeah, yeah, whatever. That's what I'm saying. So, Kales, you know, I. Which I've met you in real life, so I know you're not racist, like, 100. But it's. It's one of those things where it's like, you know, I mean, what is the point of you adding the color?

[Turner Sparks]

I have one thing to add. We probably shouldn't plug her business.

[Phil Duckett]

Not after we just said.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, not after all that.

[Phil Duckett]

But if you can find her, she doesn't one great hairdresser.

[Turner Sparks]

What about Phil?

[Joe Russell]

I got a question real quick.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

So let's pretend in the future, 100 years from now, everything's equal. Like. Like black people and white people. Like, there's no more struggle. Everything's good.

[Turner Sparks]

Can you.

[Joe Russell]

Could we go back to blackface? If you want to be like Mr. T for Halloween.

[Phil Duckett]

And you.

[Turner Sparks]

When are we allowed? Is his question. How long? How long?

[Phil Duckett]

I think now that we're like, like finding out about other people and other, like, life forms. You know what I mean? And trans people, aliens, like, everything. Like, I think once we start trans.

[Turner Sparks]

People in the aliens.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm just saying once we start starting to the others, I think everything becomes unified. And then it's like, no, you can do whatever you want, but right now, I feel like just two main different graphics. Is men, women, black, and white.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, I don't know. You have, like, you have Latino people. You have, man, most of them Asian people. Half the world is Asian, right?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. But all life started in Africa. So there's only really two.

[Turner Sparks]

I see.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay. Okay. So at the end of the day, you ever seen some. We fill out a survey and it's like, black, white, Latino, but if you hit Latinos, like, but of black descent, you know, I mean, so at the end of the day, I feel like, you know, it all comes from that.

[Turner Sparks]

With white people too.

[Phil Duckett]

Really.

[Turner Sparks]

You say, what are you? Are you white? And you say, yes, I'm white. And they go. They give you one last out.

[Phil Duckett]

I didn't know that.

[Turner Sparks]

I've never. Well, but are you white, but Latino, really? And then you have to be like, I'm not even that.

[Phil Duckett]

I didn't know that. So it says black. And then I click.

[Turner Sparks]

Because they tried to help.

[Phil Duckett]

Right. And I didn't know black.

[Turner Sparks]

White's the worst thing you can be right now.

[Phil Duckett]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

And so they go, are you sure you're white? You might be someone Mexican in your heritage.

[Phil Duckett]

You promise you ain't got a little bit of flavor?

[Turner Sparks]

We'll give you anything.

[Phil Duckett]

You eat avocados.

[Turner Sparks]

We'll tell you Berkeley, all you need is a little. And you go, nope, nothing. And they go, that's it. I can't. They go, let me tell you.

[Phil Duckett]

Let me tell you something. Pure white is ass. All right? You gotta have a little bit.

[Turner Sparks]

You're not getting into this independent film festival.

[Phil Duckett]

You can't be full blown Scandinavian.

[Turner Sparks]

Your life.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

Have you been to the beach recently?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Anything? Have you done blackface?

[Phil Duckett]

We'll give you anything. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah. But no, I think. Yeah, I think that's. I think that. To answer that question. I think that's what it is.

[Turner Sparks]

Can I. One last question?

[Phil Duckett]

Sure.

[Turner Sparks]

Remember Justin Trudeau, the Prime Minister of Canada, who's a white guy? Did he dress up like an Indian person and did Indian face? And Indian people were like, that's blackface, that's us. And he. He's like the prime minister. So he went, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to do it. But then there was a conversation where people were like, but I don't know, it's not tied to, like a minstrel. There's no historical. You know what I mean?

[Phil Duckett]

I don't know how people say why it's not tied. You mean the raping and pillaging of all the Native Americans?

[Turner Sparks]

No, no, people from India.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, oh, fuck them. I'm sorry. Oh, you're talking about the call center. Okay. No, I. I thought we were talking about natives American. Oh, no, no, that's on you, my boy. You know What I mean, because Indians don't be fucking with us like that. No way. So I'm. I'm cool on them.

[Turner Sparks]

I think that's a good place to end it. We got all we have left to do now is the. The white lies and dark truths.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

Penny loafers, guys.

[Phil Duckett]

Penny loafers. Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

So the strap on the. The shoe was the perfect size to hold a coin. And back in the day when using payphones was a normal thing, many young men and women would keep their money in their shoes in case they needed to make an emergency call.

[Phil Duckett]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't try to take credit for that, white man. You said they had so much money. It was just something to prove a point. And I was like, why the fuck would they only do.

[Turner Sparks]

That?

[Phil Duckett]

Was me just talking and I said that. I said, was that when pennies actually meant something and they used it to spend money?

[Turner Sparks]

What did I say?

[Phil Duckett]

You're like, no. They just was a status symbol for them to put on top of their shoe.

[Turner Sparks]

I mean, I think it was just. Okay, fine.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. I'm like, no, no. I was like, it's got to be used for something. Who the is walking around with copper on their feet just for fun. All right, we got dollar bills out here.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, that is the show. Have a Happy Halloween, everybody.

[Phil Duckett]

October 25th, gentrification. Happy Halloween, everybody.

[Turner Sparks]

Stay black.

[Phil Duckett]

Stay black. All always. You got a question but you're scared to ask Just drop the boys a message Cause they're up to the task they're all in the dice they ain't always nice but you can't think twice.

[Commercial Voice]

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