Jessica Levin: A Comedy Hurricane

Summary

Podcast Summary: Black and White Advice – Episode: Jessica Levin: A Comedy Hurricane

Release Date: March 4, 2025

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Hosts: Turner Sparks & Phil Duckett Guest: Jessica Levin

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Introduction

In this lively episode of Black and White Advice, hosts Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett welcome their guest, Jessica Levin, a rising comedian known for her quick wit and engaging humor. The trio dives deep into discussions about race, personal experiences, and societal norms, all infused with their signature comedic flair.

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Woodstock '99: A Chaotic Experience

Timestamp: 10:30 - 23:00

The conversation kicks off with Turner recounting his experience at Woodstock '99. He vividly describes arriving the night before the festival, indulging in alcohol, and the ensuing chaos that unfolded.

• Turner Sparks (10:32): "I was 18. I got hammered before getting ready for. I hook up with a dude I don't remember... I found me naked on a golf cart."

• Phil Duckett (16:27): Reflects on the rampant partying and the lack of organization, highlighting issues like sexual assault and the aggressive behavior of bands like Limp Bizkit.

• Phil Duckett (22:43): "We don't blame Limp Bizkit, they're tools. But it's the era that created that energy."

Turner shares how his drunken rant led to an unexpected feature in a documentary, emphasizing the chaotic atmosphere and the failure of producers to manage the event responsibly.

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Evolution of Music: From Punk to Pop

Timestamp: 05:32 - 10:00

The hosts delve into the transformation of the music scene from the mid-90s to the late 90s, discussing the shift from diverse genres to the dominance of boy bands and pop stars like Britney Spears.

• Turner Sparks (05:36): "There was a mix of genres... but then the switch happened when Britney Spears started that stupid pop wave."

• Joe Russell (12:17): "Five years later, we get Britney Spears. I remember being like, this is kids' music. This is not my genre."

They reminisce about their favorite bands from the earlier era, such as Tribe Called Quest, Nirvana, and Pearl Jam, contrasting them with the later rise of pop-centric acts.

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Representation in Hockey: Breaking Barriers

Timestamp: 25:07 - 45:50

A notable segment addresses the question from Jordan in Boston about why fewer black people play hockey and what it would take for black communities to dominate the sport.

• Jordan (25:07): "What will it take for black people to start playing hockey? I think you guys would dominate."

• Phil Duckett (25:30): Mentions P.K. Subban as an example of a successful black hockey player.

The discussion touches on the financial barriers, geographical limitations, and cultural aspects that hinder greater black participation in hockey. Phil shares his limited experience with the sport, highlighting the accessibility issues and societal perceptions.

• Phil Duckett (26:08): "I played one year of ice hockey in Fayetteville, North Carolina... I was the only black kid."

• Joe Russell (45:50): "Hockey costs a lot of money. Equipment, tournaments, traveling... other sports like football, soccer, basketball cost about a third the price."

The hosts advocate for increased support and resources to make hockey more accessible to black youth, emphasizing the need for representation and mentorship in the sport.

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Black and White Hairstyles: Navigating Beauty Standards

Timestamp: 35:26 - 45:50

Drew from Detroit poses a poignant question about the mutual envy over each other's hairstyles in interracial relationships.

• Drew (35:26): "Why do we all hate our own hairstyles? She's jealous of my pin straight hair, and I get annoyed by her 4C hair."

• Phil Duckett (35:56): "It's how society has influenced us. Natural hair is making a comeback, but the legacy of terms like 'nappy' still affect perceptions."

The hosts break down the complexities of hair types, particularly focusing on the term "4C hair," and its implications within the black community.

• Jessica Levin (40:54): "A black woman came up to me and said, 'I change my hair every three to four months so my man won't cheat on me.'"

• Phil Duckett (38:50): "Black hair has nothing to do with your ability. It's about societal expectations and self-expression."

They explore the historical context of black hairstyles, the pressure to conform to Eurocentric beauty standards, and the resurgence of natural hair movements as acts of cultural affirmation.

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Navigating Racism and Cultural Sensitivity in Comedy

Timestamp: 32:00 - 44:00

A recurring theme in the episode is the fine line comedians tread when addressing race, especially concerning cultural appropriation and respectful representation.

• Phil Duckett (35:56): "People are on eggshells about being racist. That's why we made this podcast."

• Turner Sparks (44:30): Discusses the inappropriate use of racial terms and stereotypes in comedy, emphasizing the importance of context and intent.

The trio debates the use of accents and stereotypes in humor, referencing past experiences with offensive jokes and the backlash they received.

• Joe Russell (34:04): "Why can't I say rap with a Jamaican accent without being labeled racist?"

• Phil Duckett (37:00): Criticizes outdated terminology like "African American" and advocates for more respectful language.

They underscore the need for comedians to be aware of their language and the impact it has on perpetuating or dismantling racial stereotypes.

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Closing Thoughts and Future Directions

Timestamp: 43:00 - 46:05

As the episode winds down, Turner and Phil encourage listeners to subscribe to their Patreon for exclusive content and tease upcoming segments, including Phil's anticipated first punk rock concert.

• Joe Russell (30:46): "Drew asked why white folks love Bob Marley so much... Is it okay for me to do the Jamaican accent when I sing Bob Marley?"

• Phil Duckett (39:32): "Natural hair is making a comeback... it's about self-expression and sticking it to societal norms."

They reiterate their commitment to providing honest, unfiltered advice on race-related questions, promising continued discussions that educate and entertain.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Turner Sparks (10:32): "I was 18. I got hammered before getting ready for. I hook up with a dude I don't remember... I found me naked on a golf cart."

• Phil Duckett (16:27): "We don't blame Limp Bizkit, they're tools. But it's the era that created that energy."

• Phil Duckett (25:30): "They just had that four, four nations and we was scrapping the first nine seconds."

• Phil Duckett (35:56): "It's how society has influenced us. Natural hair is making a comeback, but the legacy of terms like 'nappy' still affect perceptions."

• Jessica Levin (40:54): "I change my hair every three to four months so my man won't cheat on me."

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Conclusion

This episode of Black and White Advice successfully blends humor with insightful discussions on race, culture, and societal expectations. Turner Sparks, Phil Duckett, and Jessica Levin offer listeners a candid look into their experiences and thoughts, fostering a space for education and laughter. Whether tackling the remnants of Woodstock '99's chaos, dissecting beauty standards, or advocating for greater representation in sports, the hosts deliver a rich and engaging narrative that resonates with diverse audiences.

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Stay Tuned: For more in-depth conversations and exclusive content, subscribe to Black and White Advice on Patreon.

Transcript

[Turner Sparks]

Not only about you and your f. Past life. You dumb. Just name this. The Phil Autobiography Run My Mouth Hour.

[Phil Duckett]

I thought this was what this podcast was about. Have you ever had a question you wanted to ask the opposite race but you were too nervous to ask?

[Joe Russell]

I'm Turner Sparks.

[Phil Duckett]

And I'm Phil Duckett.

[Joe Russell]

And this is Black and White Advice.

[Phil Duckett]

Where we answer all your questions about race, even the scary ones.

[Joe Russell]

This is black and White Advice.

[Turner Sparks]

You've got a question, but you're scared to ask. Just drop the boys a message. Cause they're up to the task. They're rolling the dice. They ain't always nice? But you can't think twice when giving black and white advice. Black and white advice.

[Joe Russell]

All right, everybody. Welcome to the show. My name is Turner Sparks.

[Phil Duckett]

We back with the Real Deal. Feel the thrill.

[Joe Russell]

We got Joe Russell behind the glass on the ones and twos, spinning the knobs, cooking the dials. How you doing back there, Joe? Talking from the golden EIB microphone is Rush Limbaugh.

[Phil Duckett]

Hey, I need Joe. Take a sip of your whiskey, though. That's getting warm form. It's been sitting there since I poured it for you.

[Joe Russell]

There you go.

[Turner Sparks]

When did you pour it for him?

[Phil Duckett]

Two hours ago.

[Jessica Levin]

Did you put more in this?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Giddy up.

[Joe Russell]

That's the voice of our guest coming up in just. Just a second. Jessica Levin, everybody. Check her out on Instagram @jlev comedy. @jlev comedy. She's got a comedy special coming out soon. We're gonna check it out.

[Turner Sparks]

Like radio.

[Joe Russell]

What? Yeah, I'm doing it. Is this like, I'm doing my best radio voice.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm watching Joe struck radio the whiskey. I know he's like, for that.

[Joe Russell]

Patreon, Everybody. Patreon subscribers, patreon.com backslash black. I'm trying to get through the madness here.

[Jessica Levin]

I ate a piece of toast and a banana today, and I've been feeding.

[Phil Duckett]

Joe whiskey since I got.

[Joe Russell]

Joe Russell's wasted.

[Turner Sparks]

We don't even recording.

[Joe Russell]

Phil's getting there. Patreon.com blackand white advice. We're within $100 of hitting our first goal. When we hit our first goal, I'm taking Phil to his first punk rock concert.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, really?

[Phil Duckett]

I'm a stage dive.

[Turner Sparks]

I want to come.

[Joe Russell]

You're coming.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

Also, any Patreon subscriber, if you're in New York City at the time, we're gonna let everyone know when we pick the date. Everyone.

[Phil Duckett]

We had a band reach out that he knows. They're like, we want y'all music yeah, he was in a punk rock band.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, I grew up in punk and sky. The whole scene.

[Turner Sparks]

I know. I hear you. Do you count Green Day as punk, though?

[Joe Russell]

I do. Because of their roots, their origins. But they're not. It's not my.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, but the.

[Joe Russell]

The first two albums, it's the. I'm into the 80s, I walk alone.

[Phil Duckett]

Is that.

[Joe Russell]

That's it.

[Turner Sparks]

Is that them? No, no, that's them, but that's gay. Them.

[Phil Duckett]

That's their best song.

[Turner Sparks]

No, it's not.

[Phil Duckett]

That's horrible.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm in the Lookout Records, so.

[Turner Sparks]

Like, I got you. Okay.

[Phil Duckett]

No, don't listen. That's not their best song.

[Joe Russell]

No, no, it's not.

[Phil Duckett]

It was only on TRL.

[Turner Sparks]

Who gives a three weeks? McDonald's makes the most burgers. It doesn't make a good burger, you idiot. That's your. That's your meas. Brought it up all the time. That's not good.

[Joe Russell]

In sync. The best band.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, exactly.

[Phil Duckett]

No, they literally did, like, 12 weeks.

[Joe Russell]

Of we're so loud.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, you got the two loudest people.

[Phil Duckett]

This. This is what. Yeah, yeah. Didn't want. Yeah, yeah. This is what. Yeah, yeah. Didn't want Phil and Jessica in the same room.

[Joe Russell]

When we said we're going to bring Jessica on the show.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

Was like, it's going to be so loud.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, wicked loud.

[Jessica Levin]

You know, it's fun. You know what's funny is there's an open house next to next door.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Jessica Levin]

Don't worry, guys. It's a great place. But also, every week, two people shouting about race next door.

[Joe Russell]

Scream. They're not gonna be able to sell that place.

[Phil Duckett]

Then we're gonna tear a wall down and we're gonna make a big studio.

[Joe Russell]

We'll buy it.

[Turner Sparks]

There you go.

[Joe Russell]

I was already like, is there any chance we could buy this? But no.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, you're doing really well in common.

[Joe Russell]

No, no, we're not doing that. The immediate answer out of yeah was absolutely not.

[Phil Duckett]

But imagine if we could.

[Joe Russell]

It would be amazing.

[Turner Sparks]

That would be awesome.

[Phil Duckett]

And then we tear the wall down. We make this a big studio.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, it would be the best.

[Phil Duckett]

And I live here.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Now we're pushing it.

[Joe Russell]

Then Phil moves in. Phil's like, can you give me a room?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, exactly.

[Phil Duckett]

Now we're pushing.

[Turner Sparks]

Now we're pushing.

[Joe Russell]

I want it. So we talked two weeks ago about your story, but I don't know as well as you do about going to Woodstuck 99.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Did you hear that episode? Talked about you.

[Joe Russell]

The way I. The way I. For anyone who didn't listen, I'm sitting on an airplane and I'm like, there's like eight things to watch. And one of them' this Woodstock 99 documentary. I'm like, yeah, sure, I'll turn it on. And all these people are like, it was so awful. Oh, my God. The bathrooms weren't clean. This was bad. This was bad. And then all of a sudden, Jessica just pops up on the screen. She's like, I had the time of my life.

[Phil Duckett]

He said that in your voice. And I died.

[Joe Russell]

All these women are like, I got molested. And you're like, I. I could have used a molesting.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, exactly.

[Phil Duckett]

And when he said that, I was like, are we going to be able to post this?

[Joe Russell]

I took. I took a picture of my. My. The. The seat back TV and sent it to you.

[Turner Sparks]

I know, I know.

[Joe Russell]

And I'm like, what are you doing on my flight right now? I know what happened.

[Turner Sparks]

How.

[Joe Russell]

Okay, how did you. So what's like 99? That was the one with like, Limp Bizkit.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. The worst band at the Birth.

[Joe Russell]

The worst shot, the worst air.

[Phil Duckett]

Good band. No, no, no. Fred Durst.

[Joe Russell]

How old are you?

[Turner Sparks]

How old are you?

[Phil Duckett]

36.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay. See, I have. Okay, yeah, there's. I do have 40. Are y'all in your 40s? Yeah, yeah. I have a theory. Right. But I didn't want to cut you off.

[Joe Russell]

Go for it.

[Turner Sparks]

So what happened was you and me. I'm gonna be 44 on Tuesday.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, you're. You're younger than you.

[Turner Sparks]

Right. So we had this era where we had. In 94, which was sick. We had Tribe Called Quest, was big. Nirvana. You had, you know, all these hodgepodge of great. You also had nine inch nails.

[Joe Russell]

I was 12.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes. I was 14. Thirteen. Pearl Jam. Yeah. Social Distortion. They were still around.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

You had all these Bad religion.

[Joe Russell]

They were all breaking at the same time.

[Turner Sparks]

They're all breaking at the same time. Like, breaking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And. And then you also had like. Yeah, a lot of punk and a lot of other stuff, but you had all this mix of genres of music. Like even Fiona Apple.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

You know, they were good musicians.

[Joe Russell]

Apple's fan.

[Turner Sparks]

That's even. She's even a little bit later. But yeah, but Amy is around not. You know what I mean? We still had this great. But what happened was there was that switch when Britney Spears started that stupid.

[Joe Russell]

Came in like three years later.

[Turner Sparks]

Three years later.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

97, 98.

[Phil Duckett]

That's what NSync and all five years.

[Turner Sparks]

Five years before that, we were in a different gymnasium. We were with Smells Like Team Spirit.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

That was our vibe.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Five years later, we get Britney Spears. And I remember being a kid and 18 and being like, this is kids music. This is not my genre of music.

[Joe Russell]

Exact same.

[Turner Sparks]

I didn't ever hang out with Spears, all that.

[Joe Russell]

We weren't into any of that.

[Turner Sparks]

I wasn't in any of that. But I didn't know that. So these kids are coming up with that. So they missed this five year mark of thinking. Green Day. American Idiot is a great album. When it's like. That's the shittiest album of theirs. It was Dookie. That was like the best album called Dookie. Yes. That was their biggest. Their big album. That was their. That was their. Yeah, yeah. Same year Soundgarden came out. The same year.

[Joe Russell]

The album covered Weezer, too.

[Turner Sparks]

I mean, Weezer. Yeah, he had all this kind of great music coming all out. And then, you know, the Napster comes out and all these boy bands.

[Joe Russell]

That was before MTV totally took control.

[Turner Sparks]

Correct. It was still.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, like 98 with Carson Daly and all that.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

And I would come home from school in fifth grade.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

That would be the first thing to be on T. I watched the countdown.

[Joe Russell]

So then the countdown just became what people listen to.

[Turner Sparks]

Correct.

[Joe Russell]

We didn't have a countdown.

[Turner Sparks]

We didn't have five years.

[Phil Duckett]

So you found your own music.

[Joe Russell]

Everybody found their own.

[Turner Sparks]

Right.

[Phil Duckett]

Music back then, though.

[Joe Russell]

So radio in California would play everything. There was punk bands.

[Phil Duckett]

Y'all went to record stores and then.

[Joe Russell]

You went to record.

[Turner Sparks]

Right. And there's also a culture of, like. Especially for punk. Punk was very strong at doing. Literally, they would do Denny's. There was always these.

[Joe Russell]

What the is up Denny's.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes. What the up Denny's. And then also at, like, YMCAs.

[Joe Russell]

Oh, we played it like the Odd Fellows Hall.

[Turner Sparks]

Right.

[Joe Russell]

The Lions Club. They would rent out their space to you.

[Phil Duckett]

Y'all listen. That video killed the radio star.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, that's old. That's 80s.

[Phil Duckett]

That was the first music video. I thought that's what y'all listen, too.

[Turner Sparks]

No, that's old. That's old. That's 80.

[Joe Russell]

They came out, like 1984.

[Turner Sparks]

You need a look at a. Yeah, like a calendar.

[Phil Duckett]

My era is the best.

[Turner Sparks]

No way, dude.

[Phil Duckett]

Dude, we had everything.

[Turner Sparks]

No, you didn't. We had everything.

[Phil Duckett]

So y'all didn't have phones. We were the first group that got phones when we were grown.

[Turner Sparks]

First off, we're the ones with the school shootings. We're the OGs. Columbine, Columbine's mice. Like my era. That's the day the music died for me. Biggie Pock, Biggie Pocket. We had a bunch of suicide when Biggie park died. Yeah, Yeah. I was in a big. Do you remember?

[Phil Duckett]

You know, not really.

[Joe Russell]

It wasn't really for me, frankly, when Kurt Cobain. Cobain was the big one for me.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, that was a tough one.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

You knew what was going on. Like he killed himself.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, there was also rumors going around that Courtney Love killed him.

[Phil Duckett]

Yes, the actress.

[Turner Sparks]

That they were married. They had the wife at the time.

[Phil Duckett]

Why did they.

[Turner Sparks]

She was in a band called Hole. We knew her. She's in a band.

[Phil Duckett]

In a band.

[Turner Sparks]

These fucking. What are we. What are we doing here, man? What are we doing? What are we doing?

[Joe Russell]

So. So what about this? Did you ever hear that? I mean, I'm sure you know this, but that Kurt Cobain. Yeah, Kurt Cobain wrote her whole first album. Kurt Cobain wrote the first album for Hole and then when he died, she started dating Billy Corgan. So he would write the second album.

[Turner Sparks]

I didn't know he dated. She dated Billy Corgan.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, but it was all to get the second album written.

[Phil Duckett]

Was Billy part of the same band?

[Turner Sparks]

No.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm sorry.

[Turner Sparks]

You see how you're different? It has. And it's.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, it's only a 5, 6.

[Turner Sparks]

It's only 5, 6 difference.

[Phil Duckett]

That's damn near a decade.

[Turner Sparks]

Because we still had dialogue.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, we still.

[Turner Sparks]

It took time and then all sudden these kids got nat like they got.

[Phil Duckett]

And I got quick dial up aol.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, but you had already Napster in it.

[Joe Russell]

This is like I always explain it. I took typing class in high school to learn how to type.

[Phil Duckett]

I was to type my class in middle school.

[Joe Russell]

Oh, you did take typing class.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Joe Russell]

Well, there was a generation where they were just born knowing how to type.

[Phil Duckett]

No.

[Joe Russell]

Do you know what I mean? Because the.

[Turner Sparks]

I remember having to rent a computer when you're a kid to borrow at the library so we could play Organization Trail was my. I could make. Sarah always dies at dysentery. That's stupid. It's like, what's your problem? Drink some water.

[Phil Duckett]

You dump sacrifice a hero that.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, Sarah. She's going to die anyway. Die anyway.

[Phil Duckett]

Put her off early.

[Turner Sparks]

So I like that.

[Joe Russell]

So how did you end up at Woodstock 99?

[Turner Sparks]

So you know, I'm 18. I'm. It's a summer right before college. I forget who got tick. Well. Well, the. My best Friend at the time who is dating a dude who ends up becoming my. Still to this day, my best friend. They had tickets. I got. Then I bought a ticket with them. I didn't tell my parents. Where were you living at that point? I was in Pennsylvania, because I was already. That was where I was. I was at Outside.

[Phil Duckett]

You go to college?

[Turner Sparks]

I went to college in Marymount, but I was. But at high school, my dad retired from sanitation. We moved around a bit. We moved to North Carolina. Fucking hated it. We moved to what part of North Carolina? Morehead City.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, my God. Hated it. That's about the beach, though.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Yeah. But we hated it. And then we moved to an area because my brother played football at Westchester University. And we found. My parents heard about this neighborhood, and they had really good schools. They're like, fuck it. We'll go there. We move there. So I went to part of junior high in high school out there. So now. So I'm working my summer job. It's the summer right before I go to college back in New York City. When you marry Mount Manhattan college. So I'm like, whatever. So I call. I tell my parents. I'm like, I want to go to this. I kept on arguing with him. I'm like, I'm going to this. I want to go to this. I'm going to this. And my dad, like, he. He's like, I get it. My dad. When I was a kid, I was good friends with a girl from Jordan, and I wanted to go to Jordan. My dad's like, let her go. My mom's like, we're not letting her go to country. It's the 1990. And I'm not letting your daughter go to Jordan.

[Phil Duckett]

To the Middle East.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. But I was like, let her go. My dad was always just like, yeah, figure.

[Joe Russell]

It's like 99 Jordan, you know?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Same thing. So I talked to him, and we're going. And I'm driving. I drove a Mercury Stable.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Station wagon. That was my Aunt Margie's, and I took that thing, and we just. So I just remember I had to get. I had to go back and forth. But then finally they caved, and they're like, fine, go.

[Joe Russell]

And now the lineup. Like, in the 60s, it was all peace and love.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

By the 90s, by the late 90s.

[Turner Sparks]

They had that music.

[Joe Russell]

It was aggressive.

[Turner Sparks]

But 94 was a really. I wish I went to the 94.

[Joe Russell]

That was a good one.

[Turner Sparks]

That was a good one. That's Nine Inch Nails, Jane's Addiction, Tribe Called Quest, yeah, that was a killer one. Yeah, this one sucks because I didn't realize how much the music started. Corn. I hate them biscuits. Sucks so hard. Yeah. 50 year old.

[Phil Duckett]

It was all like 94 too.

[Turner Sparks]

No, I wish I was too. I was wicked too young for that one.

[Phil Duckett]

I was 12.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. I was like.

[Joe Russell]

By 99, it was bros. Bros, like steroided out high school dude. White dudes, douchebags. Trying to. Yeah, ma trying to just kick your ass in a mosh pit to limp biscuits.

[Turner Sparks]

Right. No, but it's the era we're beginning now. Getting into Simp. Like, these are the whiners that are like, we're like the emo simpy, you know? And like, you know, you mom, you know, I'm 16, I'm playing the drums. That kind of some 41 I can't stand.

[Joe Russell]

So we're.

[Turner Sparks]

We're on the same thing. Like, I just can't stand that whiny. So when you're 12, you're like, this is cool. When you're 16, 17. I'm like, these are.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, we were too old for.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. I'm like, these are the yellow cards. Right. And I'll be honest with you, I hated Eminem when he first came out. Now. What?

[Phil Duckett]

I hated him as a black man. I know I'm gonna say this about white people. Eminem is top tier.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Well now. But like when he came first came out.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

I couldn't stand him. I had dmx, lp.

[Joe Russell]

It was. But he was lumped in with the TRL world.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Quickly separated.

[Joe Russell]

He did. He did. But at first they made him.

[Turner Sparks]

At first he did Poppy and he did the whole thing with Limp Bizkit. He did that music video where he's making fun of Christina Aguilera, like, we're the anti. But I'm like, you are part of it though.

[Joe Russell]

Real anti establishment people wouldn't even mention Britney.

[Turner Sparks]

You know what I mean? Right. There's also this. There's used to these underground rappers called the Weather Report, which LP was a part of. Who's now part of. With what's his name. Oh, my God. I can't believe. Running the Jewels. Yes. Killer Mike.

[Jessica Levin]

Right?

[Turner Sparks]

Killer Mike. Yeah. He's the man. Thank you.

[Phil Duckett]

So they run the Jewels.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Where the are you from? Dude, you're embarrassing.

[Joe Russell]

That is this group, right?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, it's Killer Mike and lp.

[Phil Duckett]

I just know Killer Mike is an activist.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, yeah.

[Joe Russell]

Atlanta.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. But he's a killer rat. He's a killer rapper.

[Joe Russell]

I thought he was Sanders Running started.

[Turner Sparks]

With outkast he did some tracks with outkast back in the day.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, that's why I knew his name. He wasn't part of Outcast, but he wasn't part.

[Turner Sparks]

But he was. He featured on a couple. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

That's why when you said that, I knew him from. Because I'm from the South. I know, right? So I knew Killer Mike was a good feature on their album.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

I didn't know he had a band called Run the Jewels. And then I met this black dude who lives in Bushwick. So.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, no, I hear.

[Phil Duckett]

And he was like, I'm going to run Jewel. And he was like a white dude. And I was like, what do you mean?

[Joe Russell]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. What does it mean? Black dude who lives in Bushwick. What's the reference?

[Turner Sparks]

Dude, you know, I don't. Yeah, I do Comic Con. Like, where's Pikuchi? I don't even know that.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I know exactly.

[Turner Sparks]

I know exactly. So right.

[Phil Duckett]

Ear gauges, irrigation.

[Joe Russell]

Now like 100 gentrified tour.

[Turner Sparks]

Even the black people are not.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, it ain't like Bushwick Bill. That's what I was. No, no, no, no. It's like, oh, these white women that make their own soap.

[Turner Sparks]

Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they totally. Then, right?

[Joe Russell]

So then how do you. So you're at Woodstock 99.

[Turner Sparks]

So the night before, though, it's crazy. Okay, so we go up there the night before, we're in at Rome, N.Y. which is a hole. Yeah, it is a cold hole. It is a. Used to be an army base place. Everyone left. But anyway, army based places are always Hampton, Virginia. That's a hole.

[Phil Duckett]

No, don't do that. Hampton got them hoes.

[Turner Sparks]

No, they do have them hoes. I mean, AI is from there, so I love them, but it's, you know, it's not the best, you know, so so it. So it's trashy as. And we get there early the night before. I'm 18. I get hammered. Yeah, hammered, Hammond.

[Phil Duckett]

Hammered.

[Turner Sparks]

I black. I funneled a bottle of jmo. This is full on, Levin. I'm. I'm full on. I used to be able to like, drink. Used to be a hobby.

[Joe Russell]

Can I just say this?

[Phil Duckett]

With this outfit, you look like the.

[Turner Sparks]

Mom from the Goonies.

[Phil Duckett]

Y'all get that reference.

[Turner Sparks]

I know how you killed it.

[Joe Russell]

And I'll say, it's very warm in here.

[Turner Sparks]

It's not cold. I know. I'm comfy, though. It's like a blanket.

[Phil Duckett]

And I'm looking at her, I'm like, I know.

[Turner Sparks]

I Know. So funny. Dude, I can't now. I can't now. I can't rock this outfit anymore. You've ruined me. You're 100% right, though, dude.

[Joe Russell]

You nailed it when you do the funnel. Because here's the level of alcoholic that exists. Is it a. There's the funnel where you're at, like, a frat party, and it's. Everyone's around watching and somebody else is holding for you. And then there's the real alcoholic move where you just slyly hold your own. The do it yourself snorkel.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

No, that's when people have a problem.

[Turner Sparks]

No, I needed the fun. You needed people. I needed Frank the Tank kind of vibe.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah. Okay. Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Joe Russell]

So you're doing that fun.

[Turner Sparks]

So I get hammered before getting ready for. I hook up with a dude I don't remember. Yeah. Like, I remember the blackout of that part. And people would be like, you got that? I'm like, I don't remember. I mean, maybe I kissed him. I have no fucking clue.

[Joe Russell]

In Rome, New York, this is in.

[Turner Sparks]

A back of a fucking building. Like. Like, freaking ghetto. We're in the parking lot, and the people that I'm with, my one friend at the time, she was a friend. She flipped out, made it a thing. She dumped all the alcohol out. I'm like, all right, I'm hungover. Like, she got pissed off.

[Joe Russell]

Big chat.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Because I got hammered. They couldn't find me. They found me naked on a golf cart. I mean, it was just like, funnel. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Golf cart is insane.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, I know.

[Joe Russell]

You follow one bottle of jmo, I.

[Turner Sparks]

Know you freak out, Leon. You can't walk it off my pants. Yeah, right, right.

[Joe Russell]

Naked on the golf car.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

So, you know, still driving it, right? Just.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, just picking up people. It was. It was. There's this one guy driving just people around that. Right. Just driving around, finding people everywhere. Yeah, dude, for real. It was a mess. It was a mess. Ride to lot B, right? Dude, seriously, that's what it was. And so, yeah, that was the going and then going the next day. Getting in was a pain in the dick. It was hot as. I'm hungover as hell. They wouldn't let people in. And then finally they started letting people in and they're throwing out people's foods. They were scumbags, the way.

[Joe Russell]

It was like, 20 of water.

[Turner Sparks]

It was 20 hours of water.

[Phil Duckett]

A lot of women got sexually assaulted because he was like. Back then, they, like.

[Turner Sparks]

They were grabbing tits and, like, they.

[Phil Duckett]

Said, ripping off shirts.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. They started Ripping off shirts. Yeah, they weren't. Listen, this whole idea of being respectful and like. And again with Limp Biscuit, they were douchebags. They're like, I did it all for the nookie. That whole culture was still like a thing.

[Phil Duckett]

Grab a. Didn't put a nookie. It's an age different.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, totally. So that's why. I mean, they're all supporters. Well, kind of. Probably. I don't care. It doesn't look at all nookie.

[Phil Duckett]

Grab her by the.

[Turner Sparks]

At the same time involved. Right. Well, whatever that you can look at that way. But you gotta remember Harvey Weinstein's making movies. So you're still like, Harvey Weinstein.

[Joe Russell]

He's making sensitive movies.

[Turner Sparks]

He's making. He's making Shakespeare in Love and.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. With Ben Affleck and everything.

[Turner Sparks]

So, I mean, we're in that era. That's why we've really grown as a society a lot. Even though all the bullshit's going on, we really have now. The idea of grabbing a woman by the tit is now like, what? Yeah, I remember super bad. Remember when he phone pulls that and he touches her tit? And that's funny now. You couldn't shoot that.

[Phil Duckett]

Now she wants my dick in or around her mouth.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, that's so funny. That's why we can't have these awesome comedies now because we're still trying to figure out what.

[Phil Duckett]

So we've grown with Trump, though, with no Deal. Well, I'm telling you, people are saying what they feel, feeling what they say. And I don't pro Trump guy. Yeah, but I tell you what people are saying pretty freely.

[Turner Sparks]

They are. But you can't say it on stage. That's what happened to stage the other night. Well, yeah, but I like how. I know. I did too.

[Joe Russell]

People are saying all this stuff. Yeah, that was actually me saying all.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. For real people is you.

[Joe Russell]

You presented.

[Phil Duckett]

People are saying it all the time.

[Turner Sparks]

I know you are.

[Phil Duckett]

You're like three days.

[Joe Russell]

I'm the people.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, I know. And Green Day's a greatest album was American Idiot. Because that's the song. I know you narcissistic. I. Dookie's the best.

[Phil Duckett]

I've never heard it.

[Joe Russell]

So. So then I want to know how do you end up in the documentary 20 years.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay, so what happens? Covet's now happening, right? Yeah. We're on lockdown and I'm getting hammered. And there's used to be this thing that was still out there, but I stopped. It was Bob Lefts. It's and he does chain letters, and he's a big old school Rolling Stone editor. Because I used to love, you know, rock and roll editors back in the day when you're cool. When Rolling Stone was cool, you know, and music, like, journalism was a thing, you know?

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, I majored in it.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you, like. You know, like, I got it, like, gonzo. And you had great sports journalists and all this shit like that. So there used to be great music journalists, and he was one of them. And he started a chain letter where it was just, like, people that knew of it. You got a chain email and you would talk about it. And they were talking about doing another New Woodstock night. New Woodstock documentary. No, they were gonna do another Woodstock.

[Joe Russell]

I know someone who was supposed to be a producer on that, Right? Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So my buddy runs music festivals. So when I saw that and I was drunk, I was like, these tools. The guy that originally. What's that? 69. There was things there they just didn't call it then. They're like, free love. But I'm sure those didn't know what the. Was going on. Yeah. So, like, let's stop. And those became Reaganites. Go. So go your mother. So maybe you're right. They're Trump supporters now from woodstock99. So that's just what happens. It's like, oh, it's convenient. It's free love. So they had it then. So I was all drunk and pissed off, and, you know, we're stuck. And I'm like, I wrote an angry email that he posted. Bob Lessets posted. I didn't know. On his chain email. And I said things like, this guy's a tool. You know, The Guy Woodstock 90, the Woodstock original guy. They're a bunch of. They're trying to, you know, clean up something. Like, they're trying to make big money. They're using stale bread to, you know, slop up some slop that they made from 69, it was. And all this stuff and their tools, and they're just, whatever. And I go off. The producers found that. And then they reached out to me.

[Joe Russell]

Amazing.

[Phil Duckett]

That's fine.

[Joe Russell]

Then you're on my Delta flight.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And then you're on your Delta. That's how it happens. And then they did an interview, and I remember they kept on pushing me because of the. That happened the night before. They're like, I was, you know. You know, if you want to call it sexually, whatever. But I'm like, I refuse to call it that, because, I mean. Yeah, I'm not. I'M not a victim. And I'm like, that happened to you, right? Well, not like, what the golf cart and the way things happened. And I was just like, listen, I don't want to talk about that because I don't want it to be about that thing. And then they'd constantly be like, well, did you feel like Limp Bizkit's at fault? I'm like, no, it's the bad people.

[Phil Duckett]

The producer.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, also, it's the producers. They created that line. It's the era of. They created that lineup. They created that energy. I'm not gonna blame Limp Bizkit for being tools. They're tools.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah. That's their music.

[Turner Sparks]

Book them or not book them. You know what they're gonna get into. You know who they are. You know what their energy is. And also, I don't blame that I bring the society in which these boys are going in to think that they can grab a chick's titty, you know what I'm saying?

[Joe Russell]

At the time, we thought Red Hot Chili Peppers were cool. Turns out they know. Total scumbags.

[Turner Sparks]

Still are, right? And still are.

[Phil Duckett]

Anthony Arcadium was their best album.

[Turner Sparks]

He's so these kids. That's why. That's why their taste sucks, dude. Now, you know what, though? This is how. This is why they're horrible. There's. That's why. It was Sabrina Carpenter now an AI Sex doll. Cunt.

[Joe Russell]

I like that one, Phil. I've never even heard of that album.

[Turner Sparks]

But, yeah, I don't even know the album. I actually know even though it came out.

[Joe Russell]

That's every song.

[Turner Sparks]

No, no, it is.

[Joe Russell]

All right, we gotta get to your black and white advice questions.

[Phil Duckett]

Everybody on schedule?

[Joe Russell]

This is fantastic.

[Phil Duckett]

I had so much.

[Joe Russell]

This is so much.

[Turner Sparks]

This is. This is.

[Joe Russell]

That went by in two seconds, dude.

[Turner Sparks]

Is it already done? Wow. Really?

[Joe Russell]

First half of the show.

[Phil Duckett]

How long we going?

[Joe Russell]

Like, 35, 25. We're good. All right, everybody, we'll be back after the break with your black and white advice, questions and answers.

[Phil Duckett]

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[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Turner Sparks]

No purchase necessary VGW Group Void. We're prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply.

[Joe Russell]

Hey, you want to get bonus content early episodes and have your questions answered on the show?

[Phil Duckett]

Well, then subscribe to our [e-mail] blackandwhiteadvice and subscribe right now.

[Joe Russell]

Do it and we'll give you a shout out on future episodes.

[Phil Duckett]

And I might call you an N word.

[Joe Russell]

We are back with your black and white device. Questions and answers. First question comes from Jordan in Boston. He says, what will it take for black people to start playing hockey? I think you guys would dominate.

[Phil Duckett]

Let me tell you something.

[Turner Sparks]

They already has been.

[Phil Duckett]

What's his name? P.K. suban. That is cold. Suban. P.K.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

He plays. He's like one of the best.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Now he's an announcer.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, he's like one of the best players. Not black. One of the best players.

[Turner Sparks]

And he like to talk.

[Phil Duckett]

But let me tell you something nice. They just had that four, four nations and we was scrapping the first nine seconds.

[Turner Sparks]

Four fights for four fights.

[Phil Duckett]

And I'm telling you. So I went to Miami of Ohio for grad school as we mentioned last week.

[Turner Sparks]

You went to grad school?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Holy.

[Phil Duckett]

So. But I. I didn't know much about hockey. I. I played hockey as a kid.

[Joe Russell]

Did you?

[Phil Duckett]

One year. Because my fate. One of my favorite movies was hockey. Mighty Ducks.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, words.

[Phil Duckett]

So they had Keenan knuckle puck. And I wouldn't learn. And I saw so literally. I have a cousin in North Carolina, he can rollerblade better than anybody. I mean back and forth, right? Play street hockey, right. Because I gave him the Mighty Ducks movie after me and he fell in love with it, right? He was poor shit. And when I tell you he can skate his ass off because of that. So we used to try to knuckle puck. We have knuckle puck competition now that we're adults. We know that physics completely makes that false. There's no way you can knuckle puck. But. But though I played. I played one year of ice hockey in Fayetteville, North Carolina, on Fort Bragg when My dad was. When I lived there, I was the only black kid. And then I was. You couldn't check. And the next year they went to check in, and then I ended up not playing because my mom was like, I don't want him being checked or anything, because she was like, it's all white kids.

[Joe Russell]

Like, they're going to be coming for you.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, she didn't know that. But you just were able to do it. We couldn't do it at my age.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

So the next year you were able to do it, and we never played again. But hockey has always been a thing that I've been interested in. I just didn't know enough about it. Right. So then growing up, I, you know, then I go to Miami. So I played NHL video game Chill. They called it Chill. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know what chill would do. Like, feel you want to get on Chill.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

That's how I learned hockey. I learned who teams were good about Crosby and all that, but I always knew Wayne Gretzky was the goat. He's the Michael Jordan.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, right. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

I didn't know. So it literally playing NHL is when I learned what offsides was and shit like that. I did not know about any of that in hockey. Hockey. And so now I love playing the video game. So then the Four nations happened again. I haven't watched it.

[Turner Sparks]

Right.

[Phil Duckett]

And I see them scrap it. And I was like, yeah, it's great. It's time to get back.

[Turner Sparks]

Back.

[Joe Russell]

That sound blew up. That formations thing blew up.

[Phil Duckett]

It is the best all star game idea they've ever had.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, also, too, because of the whole between Trump and the tariff stuff. So it created this friction. Canada was booming, and they're like, go yourself.

[Phil Duckett]

And the Americans were like, we're gonna mop the floor.

[Turner Sparks]

No, but if you looked at. I follow hockey memes, because my brother's big into hockey, and I'm starting to get into it later in life. I just didn't. Again, it's a sport I didn't play. Also, it used. It's one of those sports where it's like, depending on where you are geographically, if you're on the southern region, you got to have a little more money because you got to go to a place with hike, like ice, where you're in the north, it's in the backyard.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So that's these rit. Like, poor Canadians with no teeth. They're like, let's play Smokey. And they beat the. Out of each other. So it's like the. You know, it's there like, you know.

[Phil Duckett]

Y'all want to go to a Rangers game?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, I'm going. And next month, my brother, I'll go down.

[Phil Duckett]

We should go do that.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

I've been a hockey. I've been into like minor minor league.

[Turner Sparks]

That's another thing. Going to the games.

[Phil Duckett]

So I'm from South Carolina. They had the Columbia Inferno. It was a minor league ehl. I think it was Eastern Hockey League. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Columbia Inferno.

[Joe Russell]

I would go to minor league because I don't know the difference anyways.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't either. But it's.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, I bet. My first hockey game ever. I was a Detroit.

[Phil Duckett]

They're expensive.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, they're wicked expensive.

[Phil Duckett]

More than NBA games.

[Joe Russell]

But what about.

[Turner Sparks]

What.

[Joe Russell]

What about Long Island? The Islanders might be cheaper.

[Turner Sparks]

My Might be cheaper going along Long.

[Phil Duckett]

Island to watch the sport, but anything.

[Joe Russell]

At Madison Square Garden is like triple the price just because you're at Madison Square.

[Turner Sparks]

Msg. But it's still great. I'm going. My first one.

[Joe Russell]

Jersey Devils.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, Devils. That'll be great. Devils are fun. The Rangers suck too. Now it's just a base, but it's wicked expensive.

[Phil Duckett]

The Rangers go to the Stanley Cup.

[Turner Sparks]

A couple of years back and that's the thing too. That cup is interesting because that's the only cup that there's only one cup and the team gets it and you have to fight back to get.

[Joe Russell]

There's one physical for the year.

[Turner Sparks]

Yep. There's only one physical cup.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

That's it for the year.

[Phil Duckett]

Drinking out of it.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

That's how the plague.

[Joe Russell]

It's like a championship.

[Turner Sparks]

You have to get to the next team. There's only one cup. The NFL freaking keep that trophy case. They make them every year. There's only one Stanley Cup. So to make play at either they black people have to get rich or live in the Northeast.

[Phil Duckett]

Why do black people get thrown in that?

[Turner Sparks]

Because they asked about black question. The question.

[Joe Russell]

When will black people dominate?

[Turner Sparks]

Not only about you and your friends. Past life. Dumb. Just name this. The Phil Autobiography Run My Mouth Hour.

[Phil Duckett]

I thought this was what this podcast was about.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. No.

[Jessica Levin]

Yeah. You know how you couldn't check when you were playing hockey? It's gotta check yourself before you wreck yourself.

[Turner Sparks]

Hey.

[Phil Duckett]

And this is what. And Joe finishes whiskey. Hey, that whiskey is gone. That whiskey is gone.

[Turner Sparks]

Thank you very much. Then he passes out and falls. His head falls on the keyboard.

[Joe Russell]

All right.

[Turner Sparks]

He's dead.

[Joe Russell]

The show goes on now.

[Turner Sparks]

Next question.

[Joe Russell]

Joe and I like how Jess is taking over our show. Next question. Keep Them coming, buddy.

[Turner Sparks]

I got a lot of fun. We got so much time here.

[Joe Russell]

Drew in Detroit. This is Drew, the Patreon subscriber. He finally subscribed. Drew, any Patreon subscriber gets preferential treatment. You guaranteed to get your question on the show.

[Turner Sparks]

Right?

[Joe Russell]

Drew asked, why do white folks love Bob Marley so much?

[Turner Sparks]

Much. Oh.

[Joe Russell]

And then he says, and is it okay for me. This is similar to last week, but is it okay for me to do the Jamaican accent when I sing Bob Marley?

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, he's a white guy.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, he's a white guy.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, okay. Well, why. Ask Drew why?

[Joe Russell]

I think you have to do the Jamaican accent.

[Phil Duckett]

You have to kind of say, oh.

[Turner Sparks]

You pull the injured Brody and then you get kicked off.

[Phil Duckett]

You have to kind of go into it. You can't be like, no, no, woman don't cry.

[Turner Sparks]

Really? At all.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Like, so you kind of have to.

[Turner Sparks]

Popular. That's an obvious question. Just because it's like, that's the only. Like, that's. He was pop culture. Like, he was in. He was.

[Phil Duckett]

But why? People are so nervous of being considered racist.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Phil Duckett]

That they have to ask these questions.

[Turner Sparks]

Which is why we made this podcast.

[Phil Duckett]

You know, I mean, like, they're so on eggshells.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, they're all. Everywhere. You go to a hippie store, there's a picture of Bob Mar. Because it's all about weed. They don't care about the activists, but.

[Phil Duckett]

They all like drugs and the.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, but the thing is, though.

[Phil Duckett]

So then they'll say, we'll have to do Bob Marley in that voice.

[Turner Sparks]

Right?

[Phil Duckett]

Why can't I say when I do rap?

[Turner Sparks]

Who the hell thinks that?

[Phil Duckett]

We literally just had a question last week.

[Joe Russell]

That was last week's question.

[Phil Duckett]

Literally last week.

[Joe Russell]

We moved on, though.

[Phil Duckett]

No, we have not.

[Turner Sparks]

It's funny. When I was.

[Phil Duckett]

He said, when I do Biggie, he said, so can I just say the N word? Because I respect. I'm like, why you? Why?

[Joe Russell]

That was last week.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Why do you keep saying last week like this?

[Joe Russell]

Because we already done that whole episode.

[Phil Duckett]

Because I want people to know how it's not. Yeah, no, you don't have to say. You know what, though?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, I hear you. I've had a freaking situation where I probably, like, well, when I went to DMX to see dmx, I didn't do it at all. I didn't. I used to say, brother all the time.

[Phil Duckett]

We said ninja was the appropriate.

[Turner Sparks]

I did.

[Phil Duckett]

So when they say you're like niece ninjas.

[Turner Sparks]

But I did quote a joke One time. And I said that just because. I didn't preface. Because. Phil987. You guys remember him? Philly Phil, yeah. You remember him?

[Joe Russell]

Who?

[Turner Sparks]

Phil987. He or Philly Phil. We're talking about him last night. It was crazy. He was this Asian dude who. It was out of his mind. Schizophrenic Joe.

[Phil Duckett]

You know him?

[Turner Sparks]

Philly? Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

Oh, he's a comedian. I'm not talking about a rapper.

[Turner Sparks]

No, no, no. I'm sorry.

[Joe Russell]

But Phil 987 was a comedian.

[Turner Sparks]

Terminator and Alex Babbitt knew of him, too. Everyone has different stories about this987. And he has a joke.

[Joe Russell]

Follow him on Instagram.

[Turner Sparks]

No, do not. I don't even know where he's at. He's crazy. But sweetheart of a person, when you talk to him, he's just schizophrenic. And he was just a nut job. And he had real racist jokes. Like, they're like, why do you call animal crackers, not animal?

[Joe Russell]

Oh, Jesus. And that didn't work in the mainstream club?

[Turner Sparks]

No, not at all. And he also had mainstream.

[Joe Russell]

That was only for the open mics.

[Jessica Levin]

This Chinese man with a ponytail used to say that at open mics.

[Turner Sparks]

Correct. And he was also schizophrenic, so it'd be like doing that like this.

[Joe Russell]

Phil987. Was that his zip code?

[Turner Sparks]

I don't know.

[Joe Russell]

We don't know.

[Turner Sparks]

It was also named Philly Phil. You know what I mean?

[Phil Duckett]

But he was cyborg out of his chair name.

[Joe Russell]

We got to get him on the pod.

[Phil Duckett]

He shared my name. Honest to God. We actually do have to get him on the podcast. Asian racist. That's schizophrenic.

[Jessica Levin]

I work on another podcast, Usama's podcast. Mango Bay.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Jessica Levin]

And they bring him up all the time.

[Turner Sparks]

Do they really?

[Phil Duckett]

That's so they've never got him on.

[Turner Sparks]

We can't find him. I don't know where he's at.

[Phil Duckett]

We got to get him.

[Turner Sparks]

He's got another joke. You want to hear another one?

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

He does another joke. He's like, all right. So he does another joke where he's like, I believe in creationism. No. He goes, you know how people argue about creationism or Darwinism? Right? And he goes, I believe in both. I think white people came from God and black people came from monkeys. Whoa.

[Phil Duckett]

Get him on the pod.

[Joe Russell]

I'm going to.

[Phil Duckett]

I am dog walk him. I'm going to dog walk.

[Turner Sparks]

No, I know, but he's also like, I'm not saying. He's not. He grew up in foster care and he's just. He's a schizophrenic.

[Joe Russell]

This is like where.

[Turner Sparks]

This is like schizophrenic.

[Joe Russell]

This is the Elon Musk excuse. It wasn't a Nazi. He has autism.

[Turner Sparks]

You're right. You're right.

[Joe Russell]

A lot of people are catching up.

[Turner Sparks]

Can be both. You could be racist and a schizophrenic. Yeah, yeah, correct. But I was saying real quick, that's the only time, at one time I quoted the joke drunk, telling it to someone and they got offended. And I'm like, I get it.

[Joe Russell]

By your quote.

[Turner Sparks]

By the quote.

[Jessica Levin]

I think that's the clip actually, Phil, is that we just clip Jessica sing. We say that joke.

[Joe Russell]

Just.

[Jessica Levin]

That's the.

[Phil Duckett]

That's just her doing all the thing.

[Turner Sparks]

But don't put it there. No one's like, I knew that was a racist.

[Jessica Levin]

No context.

[Turner Sparks]

No context. Yeah, great. Perfect.

[Joe Russell]

Next question.

[Turner Sparks]

Dicks.

[Joe Russell]

Oh, this is another. Oh, no, it's not a. This David from South Carolina. He says, what up, boy? He says, I wonder if you know this guy person. He goes, I gotta say, I'm very appreciative of this podcast. I'm really white and my girlfriend of two years is black.

[Turner Sparks]

Wow.

[Joe Russell]

We have these sorts of conversations all the time, and it's great to hear more people doing the same. My question is, why do we all hate our own hairstyles? She's jealous of my pin straight hair, and I get very annoyed by and am jealous of her 4C hair that is so versatile and has a ton of body. But the one thing we agree on is our kids are going to have incredible hair. What is 4C?

[Phil Duckett]

This ain't got super racist. 4C, I think is like. Like an actual scientific scale, like how nappy your is.

[Turner Sparks]

Shut up. Really?

[Joe Russell]

I didn't know what that meant, so I didn't know what I was reading.

[Phil Duckett]

Where's my phone?

[Jessica Levin]

Sounds like a fact check.

[Phil Duckett]

No, I think it's the actual scientific skill of how nappy somebody's hair is.

[Turner Sparks]

So there's 1C, D, 2C.

[Phil Duckett]

I mean, I don't know enough about to speak intelligently on 4C hair. What a. Oh, my God. 4C hair.

[Turner Sparks]

All I could say was like, why.

[Phil Duckett]

Do I black hair. What does 4C hair mean? Fours here is a hair type with very tight curls and spring. He talking about nappy. This just gentrified nappy.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, too bad. What's his face? Don Imus could have used that, bro.

[Phil Duckett]

4C hair. Is this.

[Turner Sparks]

What a callback.

[Jessica Levin]

A bunch of 4C hoes.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, my.

[Joe Russell]

Rutgers University.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, my God. He just referred to his girlfriend's hair as 4C hair. He didn't say his hair is a little different than mine. It's a little tight. He said for.

[Turner Sparks]

You know what?

[Phil Duckett]

He thought he was being, like, scientific. No, he thought he was being, like, inclusive, polite, saying for. And it makes him sound super, super white. It makes you sound like a racist white.

[Joe Russell]

It's like when those old white guys say African American.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, I hate that.

[Phil Duckett]

African American.

[Turner Sparks]

That's weird.

[Joe Russell]

People of color.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, she has nice Negro hair.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, that's weird.

[Phil Duckett]

It is disgusting. It's white people's funny way of saying.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah, but you. But then color people.

[Phil Duckett]

He's a colored people.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, but. But even. What is it? The. Isn't it. Okay, there's an end. I forget. I can't remember. I don't know.

[Phil Duckett]

We're at 60.

[Turner Sparks]

The NAACP. What's that stand for?

[Phil Duckett]

National Advance. National association for the Advancement of Colored People.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes, it's colored people.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm part of the naacp.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. No, right. But it's color.

[Joe Russell]

It's an old organization that just hasn't updated them. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

So I. My. My. Like a friend. Family friend of mine from, like, my parents, years ago, when we were, like, 10 years old, they both, like, gave us memberships. Like, we bought you.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, yeah, you should, but it's just weird. They still call it. Call it.

[Phil Duckett]

You know, I just want you to know, if a white cop ever said anything crazy to me, I'm calling Al Sharpton immediately.

[Turner Sparks]

Why not? Wouldn't you do what?

[Joe Russell]

I mean, the reverend, Right.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, but that's a weird question. I don't like what.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, first of all, first off, drop that. Drop that. Yeah. You want to keep your girl.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, just keep calling.

[Phil Duckett]

My girl has 4C hair. Yeah, just drop that.

[Turner Sparks]

She's. She just say she's black and I like her hair. What the.

[Phil Duckett]

But what was the question? Because. Because I didn't. I couldn't get past the force.

[Joe Russell]

The question is, why do people. Why are they. Why do we not like our own hairstyle? Because the grass is always.

[Phil Duckett]

Because. Well, well, first of all, it's just literally society. I mean, black in. In black community, natural hair is coming back. That's why you see a lot of women, Afros not doing weaves and because they're. That's their way of sticking it to the man. Because for so long, who. Our hair was called Nappy. It was called and that's why. And that's why a lot of jobs now, they don't require, like, they allow you have dreads and. Because they don't want to come off as racist. Like, your hair has nothing to do with your ability.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Back in the day, dreads were like, my mom. My mom didn't let me get dressed when I wanted. I got dressed older. But she was like, no. Why? You will never get a job. Because that was a real thing. Like, right? Yeah, it was not a thing.

[Turner Sparks]

But also. Right. But also, like, things come in place. Like, now it's hip to have long socks. Sucks with that. Like, to me, that's like my grandfather. Hold on, though. Back in the day. Hold on. You're not gonna let me finish the sentence? So what happened was. Now it's like, back in the day, it was all natural. And then when the Harlem Renaissance hit, everyone's wearing suits, getting their hair done. And that was a way of saying you to the man. Because they're making their own money. So to be, like, stylish and getting the hair done and taking their time and making it, like, fly and all that. Like that. Now it's going reverse because it's like you. It costs a lot of money to get that done. And it takes 12 hours to do. Everyone's doing that. No, look at this.

[Phil Duckett]

Give a.

[Turner Sparks]

But also, let's not give a. Like, even the richest people on the planet look like nothing.

[Joe Russell]

They're wearing, like, as a real fu. Is like, I'm so rich, everyone else has to wear a suit, but I can wear, like, a hoodie.

[Phil Duckett]

Right.

[Joe Russell]

And I.

[Turner Sparks]

It's all about going against the fad. It's all about going against the fad. So once this becomes popular, this becomes father. Probably the next wave will be them, you know, people going to get their hair done. Because it takes a lot. Andrea Appaloochi has a joke about it. Because it takes a long time to get. For a black woman, anyone, to get their hair done. It takes, like, 10 hours or some special.

[Phil Duckett]

She's.

[Turner Sparks]

She's fantastic, dude.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, she's fantastic.

[Turner Sparks]

Fantastic.

[Joe Russell]

So people just want what they don't have, right?

[Turner Sparks]

Exactly. Grass is always greener. That's always, like, the psycho psychology thing.

[Phil Duckett]

I'd be missing my hair.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, exactly. I. I personally, I love my hair. So I don't give a.

[Joe Russell]

You ever think of Turkey? Going to Turkey?

[Phil Duckett]

No, I'm never gonna get plugs.

[Joe Russell]

No plugs?

[Turner Sparks]

No. You look good with that ball head.

[Phil Duckett]

Works for me.

[Turner Sparks]

It does look good. A lot of Black, bald headed dudes look good with that.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

With black people get away with nice bald head.

[Joe Russell]

We talked about way better. Way better.

[Turner Sparks]

Way better.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

White. It's like this is. Is this, is. This is a political agenda.

[Joe Russell]

All right, now, sudden political agenda.

[Turner Sparks]

You're listening to Rogan, right? Correct.

[Jessica Levin]

All right, I might cut this part out, but I had a lady, black lady, come up to me last night and for some reason got in a conversation. She said, you like my hair? She said, she.

[Phil Duckett]

All right, start it over. Buffalo whiskey.

[Joe Russell]

Buffalo whiskey.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, go ahead. All right.

[Jessica Levin]

So last night a black woman came up to me and she had like blonde hair. And she's like, you like my hair? I just got it done. She goes, I change it every three to four months so my man won't cheat on me. So I seem like a new girl to her every four months.

[Turner Sparks]

That's crazy. Really? That's bananas.

[Phil Duckett]

Don't cut that. Yeah, I heard that, Joe. That's not. That's a real thing.

[Jessica Levin]

I started thinking, like, I would love if my wife got a haircut.

[Joe Russell]

Like, does her. Does her boyfriend have anesthesia?

[Turner Sparks]

But you guys, I've heard that before.

[Jessica Levin]

She's like, like, if you don't change your hair, like, how. It's blonde right now. If I don't change my hair, your man is going to find another woman. You got to trick him to think you're a new.

[Phil Duckett]

And they have. And the thing is.

[Turner Sparks]

That's crazy.

[Phil Duckett]

It's really mental illness.

[Turner Sparks]

Get it? It is. Because you guys are a bunch of simpletons. So it's like, oh, blonde hair's sucking me off. This is great.

[Phil Duckett]

Men are very simple creatures.

[Joe Russell]

Simple something and a lie invented by, like, hair stylists.

[Turner Sparks]

Right.

[Joe Russell]

Association of America.

[Turner Sparks]

Right.

[Phil Duckett]

Men are very simple. And then we think like that. Like, I got a blunt blind.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, like that. Yeah. Especially.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

When you're real. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

You ain't got nothing else, right?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

It's like, yeah, you just gotta keep it.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

I mean, God bless her already going.

[Phil Duckett]

Into the archives in your mind.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That'd be actually good for psychotic. Like, you know your man so well and you know, you talk about past loves. You're like, all right, I'm gonna be that. You dated an Asian one. All right, no problem. I'll get Asian.

[Phil Duckett]

Yes.

[Joe Russell]

I'll just be her.

[Phil Duckett]

I'll be her for the three minutes.

[Joe Russell]

This lady might be a genius.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, that's actually. Thank you. Thank you for sharing. I thought.

[Phil Duckett]

Joe, don't cut that out. That's fantastic.

[Jessica Levin]

A lot better than I thought.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. I was gonna say, he was so scared. He's getting sweaty. I was like, what are you worried about?

[Joe Russell]

This isn't a comedy.

[Turner Sparks]

I was waiting for him to say be like, oh, man. Was it she? You have black hair. Well, you are Sicilian.

[Jessica Levin]

I. I have 4C hair.

[Joe Russell]

4C hair.

[Phil Duckett]

You do have 4C hair.

[Joe Russell]

I like how this guy David in South Carolina just gave all of our listeners a new term they've never heard.

[Turner Sparks]

That's crazy, man.

[Phil Duckett]

All right, last question.

[Joe Russell]

I never thought that we would be teaching new races.

[Phil Duckett]

I did. And that's what this podcast is about.

[Joe Russell]

That's what it's about. We got one more question, but I think we might, timing wise, we might want to save it for our Patreon subscribers.

[Jessica Levin]

We're at 20 minutes now.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah. But the early thing was 25 minutes, so we're already over time.

[Jessica Levin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Joe Russell]

All right, last thing. White lies and dark truths. The fact. Fact check from Joe the Muscle Russell. What did we get right? What did we get wrong?

[Jessica Levin]

So I looked up 4C hair. So it's also known as four scene hair. Oh, and 4C. Like the number four in the letter.

[Joe Russell]

He wrote it as the number four.

[Jessica Levin]

The letter C. Okay, so it's that it's a type of coiled, curly hair that's prone to shrinking.

[Phil Duckett]

Nappy. Yeah, I just said that.

[Jessica Levin]

Also known as Afro hair.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, yeah. Just say Afro.

[Phil Duckett]

Just be white and say they got nappy hair. Yeah, we know what the you mean.

[Joe Russell]

I think he was trying to be polite.

[Phil Duckett]

He was.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

That's why I looked it up. I'm like, that.

[Turner Sparks]

She felt like he's giving her the pencil test. Relax, bro. Jesus Christ, man. That's what they did back in the day, man. Joe would have failed.

[Joe Russell]

They would. Sweet. A pencil would go in the hair.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. So back in the day, apparently, you know, they put a pencil here. Well, that. No, they put it. And if it stays, you're black.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. If you. If they don't.

[Turner Sparks]

I love it. That's like Monty Python. It's like if a duck floats, it's like.

[Jessica Levin]

It's the same. I was about to say the exact same thing.

[Joe Russell]

This is how duck floats.

[Turner Sparks]

If a duck floats.

[Joe Russell]

I know.

[Turner Sparks]

And a wood floats. And if a wood's a witch, we ban I. That's how it goes.

[Phil Duckett]

They.

[Turner Sparks]

The. Like, the rational humans are dumb as. Dude. Like, seriously, like, like, these that are caring about pronouns are going off, and it's like, Becky, you're not mad at the pronoun. You're mad you don't have a dentist. Dentist. Figure it out.

[Jessica Levin]

What else sinks in? Water? Pebbles? Cider.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

Duck.

[Turner Sparks]

A duck. Yeah. Sorry, we're just doing all my nerds. Yeah, man, I just. Nerds. But it's just like the rationalization of people. Jesus Christ, man.

[Jessica Levin]

And so I got one more thing for this.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, sure.

[Jessica Levin]

So that when you talk about hockey, the question was, why is there more black people in hockey? And just racist, too. Just kind of said it it. But it says, you know, hockey costs a lot of money. Equipment, tournaments, traveling, other sports like football, soccer, basketball. Cost you about a third the price.

[Phil Duckett]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

Basketball's a working man.

[Joe Russell]

That's what's nothing.

[Turner Sparks]

That's why I was always in the urban. Like it's in New York City, West 4th street and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah, correct too. But yeah, white. If you live down in Florida, dude, you got to be rich to play that.

[Joe Russell]

Soccer's cheap, too.

[Turner Sparks]

Soccer's cheap, too. Yeah, of course. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Anything with a ball and.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, that's it. That's all you need.

[Joe Russell]

All right, that is it, everybody. Patreon subscribers. If you're not subscribed to patreon, go to patreon.com blackand white advice. We are within $100 of sending Phil to his first punk rock concert. Videotape it. I got some stuck in my throat.

[Turner Sparks]

Like, really?

[Joe Russell]

We're gonna videotape it. We're putting it out on our. Patreon channel's gonna come to the show too?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, I will. I'll definitely go to that.

[Joe Russell]

All right, everybody. So if you're subscribed to Patreon, stick around after the music. We got the bonus show for you with more content. Everybody else, stay black.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Do you say stay white? Just drop the boys a message. Cause they're up to the task. They're rolling the dice. They ain't always nice, but you can't think twice. And giving black and white advice.

[Jessica Levin]

Black and white it is.

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[Turner Sparks]

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