Pranav Baheri: Indian Food in Office Microwave OK?

Summary

Black and White Advice: Indian Food in Office Microwave OK?

Episode Release Date: May 27, 2025

Hosts: Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett
Guest: Pranav Baheri

---

Introduction and Setting the Stage

In this episode of Black and White Advice, comedians Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett tackle the often tricky intersection of workplace etiquette and cultural diversity. The episode kicks off with the hosts humorously addressing a listener's concern from Bob in Pittsburgh:

Turner Sparks [00:00]: "Bob in Pittsburgh, he says, how do I get the Indian guy at my office to stop heating up his food in the microwave? It's ruining my break."

This question sets the tone for a lighthearted yet insightful discussion on racial dynamics and cultural misunderstandings in everyday settings.

Introducing the Guest: Pranav Baheri

The episode welcomes Pranav Baheri, a seasoned comedian and content creator, known for his appearances on shows like Law & Order: SVU, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and Daredevil. His diverse background brings a unique perspective to the conversation.

Pranav Baheri [04:08]: "Yeah, I mean, I was in. I had a voice on four, but it was not."

Pranav shares his experiences working on the Mango Bay Podcast and his venture into creating original web series, highlighting the challenges and triumphs of navigating the entertainment industry.

Deep Dive: Cultural Sensitivities and Stereotypes

The core of the episode revolves around addressing Bob's question about Indian colleagues using the office microwave. The hosts and guest delve into broader themes of cultural sensitivity and the importance of understanding and respecting diverse backgrounds in the workplace.

Phil Duckett [19:07]: "Well, if it's your boss, you shut the fuck up and deal with it."

Through a mix of humor and candid conversation, they explore the often unspoken tensions that arise from cultural differences. Pranav offers a nuanced take on office dynamics:

Pranav Baheri [18:25]: "That is time for segregated microwaves. You know, I mean, the problem is, is he. It's a double-edged sword. It's not just normal politeness. Is that that Indian guy is probably also his boss."

This segment emphasizes the delicate balance between addressing personal discomfort and maintaining professional respect.

Personal Anecdotes and Broader Implications

Pranav shares personal stories from his time in India, including challenges with business ventures and cultural mishaps. These anecdotes serve to illustrate the complexities of cross-cultural interactions and the importance of empathy.

Pranav Baheri [13:31]: "I moved there in 2004, but did got one Mr. Softee franchise in 2006. Did that for the next 10 years. Built it up to 10 stores and two trucks."

The discussion further extends to stereotypes portrayed in media, particularly regarding Asian women and familial expectations. Through candid conversations, the hosts and guest debunk common misconceptions, advocating for a more informed and respectful understanding of different cultures.

Pranav Baheri [23:59]: "My wife isn't at all."

Navigating Cultural Appropriation and Identity

A significant portion of the episode addresses the sensitive topic of cultural appropriation, especially in the context of language and identity. The hosts and Pranav discuss instances where cultural elements are misappropriated or misunderstood, leading to uncomfortable or offensive situations.

Pranav Baheri [33:12]: "Cannot believe he stole that from me."

This conversation highlights the fine line between cultural appreciation and appropriation, urging listeners to approach interactions with cultural awareness and sensitivity.

Humorous Takes and Audience Engagement

Throughout the episode, humor remains a central theme, with the hosts and Pranav using comedic storytelling to address serious subjects. Listener questions are answered with a blend of wit and wisdom, making the content both entertaining and educational.

Phil Duckett [19:09]: "But you shouldn't be if."

One notable exchange revolves around the notorious durian fruit, serving as a metaphor for embracing discomfort to appreciate diverse cultures fully.

Pranav Baheri [21:04]: "It smells like something rotting. But when you taste it, it tastes sweet."

This segment underscores the episode's overarching message: true cultural understanding often requires looking beyond the surface.

Fact-Check Segment: Clarifying Misconceptions

Towards the end, the hosts engage in a fact-checking segment, where they verify statements made during the show, ensuring accuracy and dispelling myths.

Phil Duckett [37:26]: "Egg stuff stinks."

Additionally, they provide statistics on interracial relationships, offering a data-driven perspective on societal trends.

Pranav Baheri [38:04]: "And then the one last thing. In America, 11 of unmarried couples are a white man and an Asian woman. 4% involve a white woman and an Asian man."

Conclusion and Closing Remarks

The episode wraps up with a teaser for exclusive content available to Patreon subscribers, inviting listeners to delve deeper into the discussions and personal stories shared by Pranav.

Turner Sparks [38:29]: "That's the greatest tease ever. That's the show, everybody. Patreon subscribers, stick around. You're gonna get the full story of when Pranav was robbed with a cobra in India."

Overall, this episode of Black and White Advice masterfully blends humor with meaningful dialogue, encouraging listeners to navigate racial and cultural conversations with openness and respect. Through personal anecdotes, expert insights, and engaging banter, Turner Sparks, Phil Duckett, and Pranav Baheri offer valuable perspectives on fostering a more inclusive and understanding workplace environment.

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Notable Quotes:

• Turner Sparks [00:00]: "Bob in Pittsburgh, he says, how do I get the Indian guy at my office to stop heating up his food in the microwave? It's ruining my break."

• Phil Duckett [19:07]: "Well, if it's your boss, you shut the fuck up and deal with it."

• Pranav Baheri [21:04]: "It smells like something rotting. But when you taste it, it tastes sweet."

• Pranav Baheri [23:59]: "My wife isn't at all."

• Pranav Baheri [38:04]: "And then the one last thing. In America, 11 of unmarried couples are a white man and an Asian woman. 4% involve a white woman and an Asian man."

---

Key Takeaways:

1. Cultural Sensitivity in the Workplace: Addressing issues like microwave etiquette requires understanding and respecting cultural differences.

2. Breaking Down Stereotypes: Media portrayals often misrepresent cultural groups, necessitating conversations that debunk these myths.

3. Balancing Humor and Seriousness: Using humor can be an effective way to discuss and dismantle sensitive racial and cultural issues.

4. Personal Stories Enhance Understanding: Sharing personal anecdotes provides relatable insights into the complexities of cross-cultural interactions.

5. Continued Learning and Engagement: Exclusive content and fact-checking segments encourage listeners to engage further and deepen their understanding.

Black and White Advice continues to be a platform where tough questions about race are addressed with honesty, humor, and a commitment to education, making it a valuable listen for anyone looking to navigate the nuances of cultural diversity.

Transcript

[Turner Sparks]

Bob in Pittsburgh, he says, how do I get the Indian guy at my office to stop heating up his food in the microwave? It's ruining my break. He says.

[Phil Duckett]

Have you ever had a question you wanted to ask the opposite race, but you were too nervous to ask?

[Turner Sparks]

I'm Turner Sparks.

[Phil Duckett]

And I'm Phil Duckett.

[Turner Sparks]

And this is black and white advice.

[Phil Duckett]

But we answer all your questions about race, even the scary ones.

[Turner Sparks]

This is black and white advice. You've got a question, but you're scared to ask. Just drop the boys a message. Cause they're up to the task.

[Pranav Bahari]

They're all in the dust.

[Turner Sparks]

Nice. They ain't always nice. But you can't think twice and give it. Black and white and light.

[Pranav Bahari]

Black and white.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, everybody. Welcome to the show. My name is Turner Sparks.

[Phil Duckett]

Real Deal Feel the thrill Back at it, baby.

[Turner Sparks]

Behind the glass Punching the knobs, spinning the dials on the ones and twos, threes and fours, fives and sixes. We got Joe the muscle Russell. Joe, how you doing?

[Pranav Bahari]

Hey, everybody. How you doing there?

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, who is that?

[Pranav Bahari]

I'm just Canadian guy.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, just a. You could be the prime Minister of Canada. Sounds like.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Joe debuts on our show. Joe's also on your show.

[Pranav Bahari]

Joe is on our show. And, yeah, he never does that voice. That's not a Canadian. That's a pedophile's voice.

[Phil Duckett]

A new impersonation every week. He comes with a different person.

[Pranav Bahari]

Oh, is that right?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Pranav Bahari]

Okay, it's time for you kids to hose down the ice.

[Turner Sparks]

Who's that?

[Phil Duckett]

It's Canadian.

[Pranav Bahari]

It's a Canadian guy.

[Phil Duckett]

Stay with us now. Stay with us.

[Turner Sparks]

I thought it was, like, Minnesota.

[Pranav Bahari]

Has Joe ever come through with the Indian?

[Phil Duckett]

No, no.

[Turner Sparks]

Next next week.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

We were waiting for you to be gone so it'd be less uncomfortable.

[Pranav Bahari]

That would have been the time, Joe.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, man.

[Pranav Bahari]

That would do it, Joe. Do it. Thank you. Come again. It's not bad.

[Phil Duckett]

It's the most racist one.

[Pranav Bahari]

It's like the 1980s OG one.

[Phil Duckett]

It is so good, though. Wow.

[Pranav Bahari]

It's not that bad. Yeah, it was really the classic line, you know?

[Turner Sparks]

Thank you, Come again.

[Pranav Bahari]

I mean, but after however many years, Joe, of knowing Indian stuff from doing Mango Bay, I would think it could be a little better. But you say, you know what? That's fine. It's good. That's good. I could do a lot better, but I have to be in my shower alone.

[Turner Sparks]

Hey, last week was our live show. How about that?

[Phil Duckett]

Hey, man, great show.

[Turner Sparks]

Thank you all for coming out, people.

[Phil Duckett]

Good questions.

[Turner Sparks]

We really nailed it.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, well, I think. I think I look forward to the next one. You know, I was a little disappointed.

[Pranav Bahari]

In the turnout personally, but.

[Turner Sparks]

Listen, it was sold out as far as I heard. We haven't done it yet. We're recording this in advance, so we.

[Phil Duckett]

We know tournament was. We didn't know you were going to tell them.

[Turner Sparks]

We don't know.

[Phil Duckett]

We could have just act like we sold it out.

[Turner Sparks]

That's what it was.

[Pranav Bahari]

I was this the show where Phil pulled his dick out out of nowhere. That was crazy. That was a really good show. Until the cops showed up. You know.

[Phil Duckett]

I can't believe it.

[Pranav Bahari]

What was your nickname again? Phil?

[Phil Duckett]

Really?

[Pranav Bahari]

Dilly. Philly. What was it?

[Phil Duckett]

The Real Deal. Feel the thrill.

[Pranav Bahari]

You know, every day I feel like you're just fighting the urge of your true nature of just becoming a pimp, you know? Thank you, bro. It's like a pimp wrestler in a past life.

[Turner Sparks]

Let's introduce our guest. How about that?

[Phil Duckett]

Let's do it.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, wait, one last thing we got to say. The live show, if you were not there, but you're subscribed to the Patreon, we'll be releasing it, I think, in the next couple of days, if it's not already out now, but so you'll get to see all the questions. All the questions. The whole question and answer segment. And you'll know better than we will as you watch this right now. If there was six people there or if it was sold out.

[Pranav Bahari]

I forgot to tell you, I forgot to record the whole show, you son of a man.

[Turner Sparks]

So we will be releasing that to Patreon subscribers. The voice you just heard a minute ago, the fourth voice in the room. Pranav Bahari. You know him? Law and Order, svu. I saw you on the Grand Theft Auto Auto.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah, I mean, I was in. I had a voice on four, but it was not. I didn't. Why? You don't need to use that as a crazy.

[Turner Sparks]

Most people know you from that. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

[Pranav Bahari]

That's right.

[Turner Sparks]

A couple other shows I haven't heard of. And Mango Bay Podcast.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yes.

[Turner Sparks]

It's just a couple other shows I haven't heard.

[Pranav Bahari]

That's true.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Someone wrote that.

[Phil Duckett]

And Daredevil.

[Pranav Bahari]

Daredevil.

[Turner Sparks]

Daredevil.

[Pranav Bahari]

I was on.

[Phil Duckett]

You heard of that? You heard a Daredevil recurring.

[Pranav Bahari]

I was a recurring role. Disney plus. Disney plus.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, ding, ding, ding.

[Pranav Bahari]

What does that mean?

[Phil Duckett]

Means, hell, yeah.

[Pranav Bahari]

Hell, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

If you like something, say. If you don't like something, we say.

[Pranav Bahari]

Oh, that's never going to come up. Why would that come up?

[Turner Sparks]

Use that at your will. And then also this summer. Problematic.

[Pranav Bahari]

Problematic. That is my web series that's dropping on Brick tv.

[Turner Sparks]

Brick tv?

[Pranav Bahari]

Yes.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, and then what's that? What's. How do you create a show? Pitch a show? You sold the show, right?

[Pranav Bahari]

Well, it's. I wouldn't say sold. Right. This is a web series. I have a pilot, an original long form, 23 minute pilot.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Pranav Bahari]

And I pitched it to. We pitched it. Me and my team pitched it to Brick, which is like the Brooklyn TV people. Right?

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, yeah, I've seen.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah, they do all, like, the free concerts and stuff at Prospect Park. They do a lot of cool shit. And they said, no, we want a web series. So we turned that into a web series, which we shot last year. We had a good festival run. We won best digital series series fest.

[Turner Sparks]

Nice.

[Pranav Bahari]

I didn't even get into writing. Best something else at Starable. We did a bunch of fests last year, though.

[Turner Sparks]

Terrible. Terrible. That's what I was gonna say. I. I applied to all these for this. No, no, I created a different show.

[Pranav Bahari]

A web series.

[Turner Sparks]

I don't. Yeah, I guess.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, that's why they shut you down. You don't even know what the it is.

[Turner Sparks]

It was on the web.

[Phil Duckett]

Something like.

[Pranav Bahari]

Oh, that's cool.

[Turner Sparks]

It was on YouTube. That's the web.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Pranav Bahari]

I want to see it. What's it called?

[Turner Sparks]

It's called Lost in. The show's called Lost in. And then the. The show. The episode is called Lost in El Salvador. We went to El Salvador and did an episode on how to live in a country where bitcoin is the currency of the country. So what's it like to live there? And then we did stand at the end. We had the local comedians kind of take us through the country. And then at the end of the episode, I did stand up with all of them.

[Pranav Bahari]

That's great.

[Turner Sparks]

That's a great show.

[Pranav Bahari]

They shut it.

[Turner Sparks]

Everybody turned us down. It's a half hour. It's on my YouTube channel.

[Phil Duckett]

Pitching that, buddy.

[Turner Sparks]

It's good, right?

[Phil Duckett]

It was the bad time.

[Turner Sparks]

It was a good show. It was. Not only was it Covid. We were told. For real, we were told that they didn't want white people talking about a foreign country. I'm not kidding.

[Phil Duckett]

Fight the power. Touche.

[Turner Sparks]

But he's coming in here, Turner.

[Pranav Bahari]

Fight the power.

[Turner Sparks]

We were putting on three local El Salvadorian comedians who never been on television before.

[Pranav Bahari]

They hadn't even seen a television.

[Turner Sparks]

They haven't yet. And so they were doing stand up on the show, and I'm like, but we're featuring.

[Phil Duckett]

Pitch it again.

[Turner Sparks]

I think I need to pitch it.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah, yeah. I think there's like 13 total people in El Salvador who are not in a prison right now.

[Phil Duckett]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

So when we found all of them.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah, I was gonna say now is the time to. That's an amazing concept. I like that.

[Turner Sparks]

That was the show. But what's this? What's problematic about.

[Pranav Bahari]

Problematic is a. It is a satire about woke and millennial politics culture.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, fantastic.

[Pranav Bahari]

Based on a failed journalist who goes viral getting into a fight with a finance bro on the street. And then it shows her rapid ascent and rapid decline.

[Turner Sparks]

Who was that journalist that made his whole thing off of, like, trying to take down comedians? Most famously, he was the Shane Gillis guy.

[Pranav Bahari]

S. Something.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[Pranav Bahari]

That I remember his name. But we shouldn't promote.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay, we're gonna promote him.

[Pranav Bahari]

We shouldn't promote him, though.

[Turner Sparks]

So he was. He was a fail. Is it. Was it inspired by this?

[Pranav Bahari]

I think he was like a failed comedian at one point.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes. I remember seeing a video of the stand up. He was a horror. Like one of those guys who tries to be an alt comic because he doesn't know how to write jokes. So remember he just make bird sounds.

[Pranav Bahari]

That's what I had heard about it. I'd never seen it.

[Turner Sparks]

He'd go on stage and go like, this is my impression of a bird.

[Pranav Bahari]

And then actually, that was pretty good. That was good.

[Turner Sparks]

That's actually my new spot.

[Pranav Bahari]

That's got to be.

[Turner Sparks]

Coming out soon. And then he didn't. No one obviously liked to stand up. So then he started writing. He was like the joker. So. So. So then he went after comedians and he started. If. If somebody sold a show, he would go back into their Twitter as far back as it went and like, search certain words.

[Pranav Bahari]

Or in the case of Shane, the podcast.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. He watched hours of his podcast till he found something racist. He did. And then got him kicked off of Saturday Night Live.

[Phil Duckett]

That was his greatest thing that ever happened to him.

[Pranav Bahari]

Probably to Shane. Yes, Definitely.

[Turner Sparks]

It worked out.

[Pranav Bahari]

Karma is a dude. Karma's funny.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Anyway, so it would. Did this guy inspire this thing at all? No, no, no.

[Pranav Bahari]

It was inspired by my friend who I co created it with, who's like this type of person actually, who does the same thing. Sort of. Yeah, but. But she's actually funny and got some self awareness. You know what I mean? But yeah, it's coming out on Brick TV this summer, and we're going to.

[Phil Duckett]

Be looking to pitch it Indian tv.

[Pranav Bahari]

No.

[Turner Sparks]

Were you listening to the first five minutes of our show?

[Pranav Bahari]

He's like, that's on an Indian channel.

[Phil Duckett]

It's like, how do you get. Watch it? But I'm like, brick tv. I didn't know if that was like Bollywood or something.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah. There's a lot of singing and dancing in it. This elevated satire about woke culture in Brooklyn.

[Phil Duckett]

I didn't know if it was the musical, you know, Is it.

[Turner Sparks]

Is it? But is it funded by the, like, Brooklyn. The city government.

[Pranav Bahari]

The city. The city government of Brooklyn. Your taxpayer dollars.

[Turner Sparks]

That's fine. Eric Adams.

[Pranav Bahari]

Eric Adams himself rubber stamped it with his ring. With the seal on his ring.

[Phil Duckett]

As long as I get a cameo. It was easy.

[Pranav Bahari]

We handed him the script and he's like, I can't read. So he was like, I'm just gonna give this to you.

[Turner Sparks]

I see some in you kids.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah. But no, they were great, Brick. The organization was awesome. They gave us a bunch of money to make it and to really do our little festival run. Yeah, amazing. Yeah. Yeah. We didn't have to pay anything.

[Phil Duckett]

So you're like Tarantino.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yes, that's exactly what I'm like right there. Yeah. Show me your feet.

[Phil Duckett]

I forgot Tarantino's on that freak shit.

[Pranav Bahari]

Why do you say I'm like Tarantino? Let's keep going with this. Thr.

[Phil Duckett]

Just pitching movies.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Having tax dollars fund the movie.

[Turner Sparks]

I love how Phil went from. I've never heard of that station. And is it in India? Whoa. You're the most famous person I've ever met in my life. Where are you from?

[Pranav Bahari]

Pennsylvania.

[Turner Sparks]

Pennsylvania.

[Pranav Bahari]

Pennsylvania, really?

[Phil Duckett]

Or like Harrisburg?

[Pranav Bahari]

Outside of Harrisburg.

[Turner Sparks]

Did you start comedy there?

[Pranav Bahari]

No, no, I started here.

[Turner Sparks]

New York City.

[Pranav Bahari]

New York City.

[Turner Sparks]

How's that?

[Pranav Bahari]

Started in Amish country. That'd be amazing. I was the best. Yeah, I started in New York. Started in New York nine years ago.

[Turner Sparks]

This field knows what I'm talking about. Nine years ago, New York City. All right. Wow, that's so. I could. We've talked about this before, but I could never.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, we got here around the same.

[Turner Sparks]

Time, I don't think. Starting in New York City.

[Pranav Bahari]

Where did you guys start?

[Phil Duckett]

Atlanta.

[Pranav Bahari]

Oh, that's good.

[Turner Sparks]

Started in Shanghai, China.

[Pranav Bahari]

Whoa.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, But I'm just saying, in general, starting in a big market like New York feels that's a tough. Daunting tough.

[Pranav Bahari]

So you have pretty good white, Mandarin or Mandarin.

[Turner Sparks]

But it was in England. I mean, I started an open mic. Yeah. There's like, nothing to Do I've asked you this.

[Phil Duckett]

You're fluent in Mandarin, right?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Phil Duckett]

Why don't we do it?

[Pranav Bahari]

What was your job there that you were doing?

[Turner Sparks]

I had the Mr. Soft the ice cream checks.

[Pranav Bahari]

Get the out.

[Phil Duckett]

But he franchised.

[Pranav Bahari]

I'll bet you they freaking stole that from you though, didn't they? They must have the Chinese government like you. It's Mrs. Softy now. And then they kicked you out.

[Turner Sparks]

You literally. Did you read this news story that's.

[Pranav Bahari]

Just like the economic story of China though. They'll like take the IP of a thing that comes in, they'll. They'll reverse engineer it and then they'll fucking take it for themselves and then kick them out. Yeah, like, oh, it's Mr. Hardy now. And we take the idea. Go do a good job with that. Yeah. And then they fucking ran with it. Right. They took your whole infrastructure. Am I wrong? Took your whole infrastructure, the branding, and they're like, oh, we got to take this now. Yeah. And now it's like a bunch of like nine year old slaves who are selling and churning ice cream and. Oh, come on. You could have just run with that. Fancy.

[Turner Sparks]

You almost had it.

[Pranav Bahari]

What, what's the rest of the story?

[Turner Sparks]

No, you really just told the whole story. I mean, there's like a. There's art.

[Pranav Bahari]

I did accents and everything. I played all the characters.

[Phil Duckett]

Buddy, that was the top notch recap I never knew I needed. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't even know.

[Turner Sparks]

It's almost like you read the news stories. There's two stories are written about it. It's almost like you read them minutes before getting here and then just retell, retold them. Right.

[Pranav Bahari]

Okay. So that's amazing that I called it.

[Turner Sparks]

Like, I moved there in 2004, but did got one Mr. Softee franchise in 2006. Did that for the next 10 years. Built it up to 10 stores and two trucks. And then the local government, around 2013, 14, sent their relatives to come work for us. And then, you know, learn everything. What you said, learn the idea, take the IP and then eventually pull our. And then start their own trucks, the park next to our trucks, and then pull our permits so we couldn't compete with the fake version. And I think there was one called Mrs. Softy probably. There was Mrs. Softy, the fake version of our trucks.

[Pranav Bahari]

Wow.

[Turner Sparks]

That's the story. There's one. Okay. There is something about living in the United States. Everyone likes to shit on everything all the time here.

[Pranav Bahari]

America is the best country, but there's no getting around that shit. It is the best fucking country.

[Turner Sparks]

But the fact that you don't have to worry about the US Government for no reason shutting your business down at any point just because they. You gotten a. You got in an argument with somebody, or they don't like you or they want it, or you do too well.

[Pranav Bahari]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

Or you're not well enough. Sets us apart from a lot of most countries.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah. Unless, of course, you're Amish and you're selling raw milk. Yeah, that's. The Amish gets shut down for that. For selling raw.

[Turner Sparks]

Do they?

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Unpastured.

[Pranav Bahari]

That's like. That's like their crack.

[Turner Sparks]

That's because there's health and.

[Pranav Bahari]

Hey, tomato, Tomato. Darn it, Mississippi. Mr. Softy. Who's to say?

[Turner Sparks]

Somewhere right now, doing this exact podcast without mics, camera that doesn't work.

[Pranav Bahari]

Into a field.

[Phil Duckett]

Dreaming about the US government into a cornfield. Good.

[Turner Sparks]

Great.

[Pranav Bahari]

Oh, that's intense, dude.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, so that was the story. So I was there 2004 to 2016.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And then. So comedy's the back.

[Pranav Bahari]

They stole your jokes, too. They stole your open mic.

[Turner Sparks]

That was why Stand up.

[Pranav Bahari]

They sent an Asian, like, two. Yeah, we're gonna do it.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, God. But that's what. So I mean, ice cream, big money.

[Pranav Bahari]

Make idea. Your comedy tool make money.

[Turner Sparks]

God, we're getting further and further away.

[Pranav Bahari]

This podcast is not going to be yellow and white. Yellow and white advice podcast. Not from ccp. Wait. Sure, sure. Sorry.

[Phil Duckett]

Turner ain't never going to be able to go back to China.

[Turner Sparks]

Why?

[Pranav Bahari]

You had big plans of, like. I'm going to see if I can mend fences with the people.

[Turner Sparks]

My wife's Chinese. We go. Her family's all still there.

[Pranav Bahari]

I'm sending this podcast to Seth Simons.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. What if he's like a. Like a stooge of the government out there?

[Pranav Bahari]

Now that is some Chinese government.

[Turner Sparks]

I have something to tell you. Excuse me. Just telling on people to.

[Pranav Bahari]

So you go back a lot?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, usually like once a year.

[Pranav Bahari]

Okay. Shanghai.

[Turner Sparks]

Suzhou next to Shanghai. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pranav Bahari]

Nice. My girlfriend. Yeah, I was gonna say she's Cantonese. Oh, she's never been.

[Phil Duckett]

Asian lady, too.

[Pranav Bahari]

She's never been. She's never been to China, though.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, yeah. I'm kidding.

[Pranav Bahari]

From San Jose, but yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Wait, can. You mean she's. Her family's from Hong Kong.

[Pranav Bahari]

Her family's from Hong Kong? Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Somewhere down there.

[Pranav Bahari]

Hong Kong. Yeah. Hong speaking Cantonese.

[Phil Duckett]

So Cantonese speaking people and Mandarin people, they gang this gangland with each other.

[Turner Sparks]

No.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't know. Yeah, no, now they all seem pretty.

[Turner Sparks]

Mandarin's the. The one that pretty much everybody speaks, including people from. Yeah, Southern. But then they also speak their own language.

[Pranav Bahari]

Well, I've heard that there's actually like dozens of different little sub ethnicities, but that people around outside the country have no idea about.

[Turner Sparks]

So there's three. I used to do a joke about this. There's 306 languages, China, but the people from the south are the ones who moved to America first in like the 70s or 60s or 80s. So American people think it's Cantonese or Mandarin.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Really? Mandarin is the umbrella one. And then everyone who moved here was from that part of China would speak Cantonese. But there's 305 other languages depending upon what part of the country you're in.

[Phil Duckett]

It's, you know, listen, I can't get caught up in all.

[Turner Sparks]

Phil's zoning out.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm like. I'm like this, like learning. Once this turns into math class, I'm like, I got a d plus in this.

[Turner Sparks]

We will be right. Welcome back, everybody, with your black and white advice, questions and answers.

[Pranav Bahari]

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[Turner Sparks]

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[Pranav Bahari]

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[Turner Sparks]

Today only on TikTok.

[Pranav Bahari]

Head over to get started.TikTok.com TikTok ads.

[Turner Sparks]

Hey, you want to get bonus content, early episodes and have your questions answered on the show?

[Phil Duckett]

Well, then subscribe to our [e-mail] blackand whiteadvice and subscribe right now.

[Turner Sparks]

Do it and we'll give you a shout out on a future episode.

[Phil Duckett]

And I might call you the N word.

[Turner Sparks]

And we're back. First question, question of the week comes us from Bob in Pittsburgh. Bob says, how do I get. Oh, we've tailored. So a lot of these questions. We get along the way and then we sa them for depending upon who the guest is. Bob in Pittsburgh, he says, how do I get the Indian guy at my office to stop heating up his food in the microwave? It's ruining my break. He says, what's a polite way to ask that? Do you know what I mean?

[Pranav Bahari]

That is time for segregated microwaves. You know, I mean, the problem is, is he. It's a double edged sword. It's not just normal politeness. Is that that Indian guy is probably also his boss.

[Turner Sparks]

So most likely, you know, Pittsburgh is like a. Is it a tech place now?

[Pranav Bahari]

I don't, doesn't Uber.

[Turner Sparks]

That's where they test. I think Uber is maybe out of Pittsburgh because of Carnegie Mellon. Is it Carnegie Mellon?

[Pranav Bahari]

Carnegie Mellon is in Pittsburgh, but Uber came out of San Francisco.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, well, it was half right.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah, yeah, they have like, they have like a. There's what would be a lot of Indians there because there's a big medical center there, upmc.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, so if your boss is heating up food in the microwave and it's ruining. It is ruining his brain.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, if it's your boss, you shut the fuck up and deal with it.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, but there's a. Is there a polite way?

[Phil Duckett]

But you shouldn't be if.

[Pranav Bahari]

Is there a polite way? Here's what you do is unplug the microwave and break the microwave or something. You know, there's no other way to do this.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Pranav Bahari]

Like, what are you going to say? Oh, your food smells like shit? I mean, you could do that.

[Phil Duckett]

If he's not, if he's not my boss, there's a chance. Depending on like, what would you do if he's my boss? I'm not going to say shit.

[Turner Sparks]

If he's not.

[Phil Duckett]

If he's not. I'm going to. If he said fish. Because see, that's just common courtesy that you should never like microwave fish at like office.

[Pranav Bahari]

Right.

[Phil Duckett]

People do that and that's just out of line. Like you weren't raised well. Yeah, you know what I mean? But, but I don't know, Indian food does have quite a.

[Turner Sparks]

What I'm gonna do is very minimal.

[Pranav Bahari]

30 spices and everything.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, it has a sting to it.

[Turner Sparks]

So yeah, go ahead.

[Phil Duckett]

I'd be like, you got to go easy on the curry, my boy.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, you would just straight up tell him. No, I'm too passive aggressive for that. I.

[Pranav Bahari]

Where does he work, though, that he's confined in with this.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, listen, man, there's a lot of.

[Phil Duckett]

You've never worked in a tough economy.

[Pranav Bahari]

I've worked in a cubicle.

[Phil Duckett]

Have you?

[Pranav Bahari]

Yes, of course.

[Turner Sparks]

One of those small kitchens that everybody has to share. Yeah.

[Pranav Bahari]

Okay, so that's the kitchen. Just walk out of the kitchen.

[Turner Sparks]

Then sometimes those kitchens right next to them.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, no, it goes to the office. It goes to the office.

[Turner Sparks]

I would say what I would do is, you know, when they go low we go lower. That's what they always say. I would. You gotta just microwave something. Grow, like, something that smells worse.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah, I was just gonna say, you got to start a war now.

[Turner Sparks]

Cold war, right? Durian.

[Pranav Bahari]

You know durian.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, my God.

[Turner Sparks]

One of those things. Microwave durian.

[Phil Duckett]

When he was like, what the is this? Me, like, see how we feel?

[Turner Sparks]

Exactly. You start microwaving fruit that got banned. Banned in East Asia.

[Phil Duckett]

Just start making moonshine from mint in the fruit.

[Turner Sparks]

That's the answer I would give. All right, next.

[Pranav Bahari]

But here's the actual answer.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, what is it?

[Pranav Bahari]

Right? Here's the actual answer for how this will no longer bother him. Right?

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, yeah.

[Pranav Bahari]

All he has to do is taste a little bit of the Indian food, and then his senses will be transformed.

[Turner Sparks]

That's what I was gonna say.

[Pranav Bahari]

You know, that's how durian is.

[Turner Sparks]

Even if it smells bad, it tastes great. I love durian.

[Pranav Bahari]

Right? That's. That's how durian is.

[Phil Duckett]

Y' all have had that in, like, the smelliest fruit.

[Pranav Bahari]

I eat durian every chance I can get. It's unbelievably delicious. It's so creamy. It's sweet. Look, here's what it is. My mom. My mom actually spent a lot of her childhood in Malaysia.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay?

[Pranav Bahari]

So, you know, she grew up eating a lot of durian, right? But at one point in, like, our garage, we're like, something fucking died in the garage. Like, what the fuck's going on? And then it was revealed that my mom had bought. Found some durian, bought it, and kept it in the fridge in the garage. And we're like, what the fuck is that? Mom. Mom, come on. And then she was like, just try a little bit. Just try a little bit. I was the only one who tried it. I tried it, and I was like, I am transformed. Dorian is the most delicious fruit on.

[Phil Duckett]

Earth, but it smells like a dead body.

[Pranav Bahari]

It smells literally like something rotting. But when you taste it, it tastes sweet.

[Turner Sparks]

It's interesting.

[Phil Duckett]

You know how hungry you'd have to be to try. Be the first person to try that. Like, when it's first discovered, like, you're on the brink of death like nobody else. You had to eat it.

[Pranav Bahari]

Listen, here's the other thing about this show.

[Turner Sparks]

Chitlins is way worse. Not even spice.

[Pranav Bahari]

Spiced. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

There was no spice on them, I don't think. I don't know. So when I. My. I first encountered durian by going through Southeast Asia and just seeing on hotels, they have, like, no durian band. It's banned.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

They have one of those smoking sections, durian fruit. And so I was like, I got. What is this? I gotta try it. And then I didn't even. It doesn't even smell that bad to me. But my wife hates the smell.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah, you can get it in Chinatown now, but usually they'll come frozen.

[Phil Duckett]

They do.

[Turner Sparks]

We'll have it on the show.

[Pranav Bahari]

You should actually.

[Turner Sparks]

Because I'm fine with it. I don't find it.

[Pranav Bahari]

Invite me back for that. I want some durian, dude. Listen, I'm telling you right now, Phil, it is, like, creamy. It's custardy. It's. It's delicious. It's sweet. Like, you will love it. It's a great fruit.

[Turner Sparks]

Bring in durian, Bob.

[Pranav Bahari]

In Pittsburgh, usually once a year, I will get some durian and crack one open.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Where do you do it? In your house?

[Pranav Bahari]

In my house? Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Or like, under a bridge. I don't know.

[Turner Sparks]

I know, the Queensborough Bridge, right?

[Phil Duckett]

Even the homeless people, like, what the.

[Pranav Bahari]

That's a great way to get rid of homeless people, too. It's just. Crack open a durian.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, this one is bridge change, man.

[Pranav Bahari]

I don't know what the happened here.

[Turner Sparks]

Next question. Jeff. Hey says, hey. It's Jeff. I'm a white dude in Orlando, Florida, like Turner. I'm also married to a Chinese woman. Are you married or dating?

[Pranav Bahari]

Dating. She just moved in three years now.

[Phil Duckett]

Congrats, man.

[Turner Sparks]

Look at you.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah, we're getting close.

[Turner Sparks]

He says in the movies, they make Asian woman out to be passive and quiet, but my wife and all of her family. Relatives are loud and pushy. What other stereotypes for Asian women do you find not to be true? What do you think? I mean, that's the.

[Pranav Bahari]

I mean, that is definitely not true. My. I've. I've dated. I've dated a lot of women of all kinds. I've dated a lot of Asian women. None of them have ever been submissive or anything like that.

[Turner Sparks]

My wife isn't at all. All.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And I don't know. Editor's single. Is that a Japanese thing? Maybe?

[Pranav Bahari]

It could be a Japanese thing, but, you know, at that point, every. All the Japanese are submissive because we just dropped a nuke on them.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

That humbles you?

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Not only one, two.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Back to back.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. We changed the culture over there.

[Turner Sparks]

We did.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. We definitely.

[Pranav Bahari]

So I don't know. I don't know what other stereotypes about Asian. Asian people are not true.

[Turner Sparks]

I mean, so the shoes thing is for sure true.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

No Asian family wants Shoes in the house?

[Turner Sparks]

Never. Absolutely not. Absolutely absolutely not.

[Phil Duckett]

So you walked in to an Asian household in, like, Shanghai in some tims.

[Pranav Bahari]

That's an Indian thing, too. Across all of Asia, South Asia to East Asia. No shoes.

[Phil Duckett]

Is it a religious thing or just like.

[Turner Sparks]

I know it's like, I don't want to bring them dirty. Yeah, we're clean. Yeah, inside's clean, outside's dirty.

[Pranav Bahari]

That's the whole thing.

[Phil Duckett]

Now, listen, no offense, in India, I could get that. But in Asia, Asia's pretty spotless.

[Turner Sparks]

China's.

[Pranav Bahari]

No, it's not at all.

[Turner Sparks]

Not spotless.

[Pranav Bahari]

I don't even know where that kind of.

[Turner Sparks]

Can I tell you, at our club in Shanghai, we had a comedian. I won't name him, but you guys all know him. And he came over and he had only performed internationally. He's a New York comic. Had only performed internationally previously in Australia. And he went. And he did this whole bit that I guess killed in Australia, where he was like. Like, I just. I live in New York. It's so clean here. Oh, my God. The streets are clean. New York's gross. And everyone's like, yeah, that's hilarious. So he. He first day, like, straight off the taxi. Tried it in Shanghai to like, it's so clean here. New York's disgusting. Silence. Crowd's like, what are you talking about? Like, everyone at this show in Shanghai had been to New York. It's all, like, international travel people, they were like, that's just objectively untrue.

[Phil Duckett]

So he was. That was his opener.

[Turner Sparks]

Just trying to relate, but without actually having. I think he just sort of thought all foreign countries were the same place, maybe.

[Phil Duckett]

Listen, I.

[Turner Sparks]

China's a dirty. I mean, like, people.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm thinking, everybody's telling me Japan.

[Turner Sparks]

Japan is very clean.

[Pranav Bahari]

Japan is very clean. South Korea is probably really clean.

[Phil Duckett]

North Korea.

[Pranav Bahari]

But, you know, even up until, like. Even up until recently, like, in Japan, it was up until the 50s where the Olympics showed up in Japan. I forget when that was. And they had to start an ordinance where it's like, hey, you can't piss out in the street anymore.

[Turner Sparks]

Because.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yes, because there's foreign people coming now, so there's no more street pissing. Stuff like that. And then when the Olympics in Korea, they had similar stuff there as well, where that kind of internationalizing event has an impact on various countries.

[Turner Sparks]

That happened in Beijing, the 2008 Olympics.

[Pranav Bahari]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

I remember I went to those, and it was spotless.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And I'm like. It was like when neighbors come over and your parents. Yeah. Clean the house. They did that with the country.

[Pranav Bahari]

Exactly.

[Turner Sparks]

So I think it's a little cleaner now, but definitely for a while, it was. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

I do got a question, though, because you know how everybody they. Because I feel like Instagram reels all. Now all we see India and we see the videos of, like, them preparing, and it's just like, holy, this can't be real. So I'm wondering, is that accurate or they, like, giving y' all the Africa treatment, you know? Listen, bro, you know how they only show. Africa is like mud?

[Turner Sparks]

We eat.

[Pranav Bahari]

We eat with our hands, and we cook with our feet. You know, what can I say?

[Phil Duckett]

I'm like, there's no way. These videos, like, I watch it, and all I say, I find myself saying out loud, I can never go to India. Like, I say that at least six times a day on Instagram.

[Pranav Bahari]

Listen. No, it probably here how it all started, right? If you're eating street food in India, which I don't recommend, even Indians don't. Most Indians don't eat, like, street food in India. So if you're eating. It's not like, Anthony Bourdain, you're going to Vietnam, and I'm gonna eat these, you know, crickets or whatever. Yeah. On the street. It's not like that there. You know, like, you could die. They don't use. I mean, it depends where you go, too, right?

[Phil Duckett]

Rats in the background by the food. I'm like.

[Pranav Bahari]

I mean, bro, I hate to break it to you, but if you get a falafel on the street, you know, New York City isn't, like, the best either.

[Turner Sparks]

Train late at night.

[Pranav Bahari]

Oh, yeah. It's like, you don't want to eat any street food in India.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Pranav Bahari]

So you're gonna. Yeah. It started with one video of a guy who's making something, and they're like, oh. And then people started to run away with the phenomenon. Right. They don't. Bet you Indians got in on the phone. They're like the Algos jumping up for us, like, let's do the beat.

[Turner Sparks]

Indian people are purposely making these videos.

[Pranav Bahari]

It's. It's a possibility.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Pranav Bahari]

Because Indians love the visibility.

[Phil Duckett]

That's so crazy, man. Those videos have me.

[Turner Sparks]

So is there a thing where, like, so people will say. I've had people say to me, oh, when I go to China, I want to eat. Eat the insects. Because I see Chinese people eat the insects. No, but when you live there, no one actually eats.

[Pranav Bahari]

No one eats the insects.

[Turner Sparks]

It's only tourists who come, and there's one Street. It'd be like going to Times Square if they sold some insane food.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And everyone's like, that's what Americans eat every day. It's like, no, that's kind of like a one thing you do for a picture once. Is it like that?

[Pranav Bahari]

I mean, with the street food. I honestly don't know who. Who eats that, because every time I've gone to India and I've been many times since I was a kid, they'd be like, no, you don't touch any of that. Like. Or if you do, you know, like, for instance, there will be, like, a marketplace where everybody's making stuff within the bazaar, and then that'll probably be okay. Right. So you'll get, like, Jalebi's. It's like a sweet thing, right? Or samosas. You can get some of those things. Right. But you don't just go to any random. Because you don't know what the kind of oil they're cooking in that they're cooking that in. Right. What kind of ingredients? Like, you have no idea. Yeah, it's like motor oil oil or something. It's like, you don't. You don't want that. That.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Pranav Bahari]

You know, that makes me feel so.

[Phil Duckett]

Much better that even Indian people, like, don't touch this.

[Pranav Bahari]

You don't. Don't touch that. Indian food is. Is a really very delicious cuisine, but you got to go to the vetted places for it, you know?

[Turner Sparks]

What about. So the par. Her parents are from China.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay, cool. And how was it when you guys started dating? Were they cool?

[Pranav Bahari]

More or less? Yeah. Yeah, kind of.

[Turner Sparks]

I guess. They were in America. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

And people feel safe with India.

[Pranav Bahari]

They're in America.

[Phil Duckett]

They know you're a success, and, you.

[Pranav Bahari]

Know, I mean, they feel. Say, you saying I'm a. You say, I got a small dick, Phil. I'm a pussy. No, I mean. I mean, I think her dad is definitely racist against Indians. He works in Silicon Valley. He has to deal with Indians all the time. He's probably. He probably wrote in the question about microwave Indian food, you know, but it's like, look, your daughter brings somebody home, and he's a nice guy, and he's funny, and he's good at hanging out. They're like, all right. No, he's fine. He's cool.

[Phil Duckett]

Fantastic, you know?

[Pranav Bahari]

No, they're great people. Super nice. I just saw her. I had dinner with her mom yesterday. She came out of town for a quick little trip, and so my girlfriend's not even in town, so we get.

[Turner Sparks]

Along, just the two of you hanging out, you and Mom.

[Pranav Bahari]

I picked her up from the airport, we went and got dinner, and I dropped her at her hotel.

[Phil Duckett]

And then you gotta hit me for the wedding. I won't win them outfits.

[Pranav Bahari]

Which one? The Indian outfit.

[Phil Duckett]

That'll be so smooth.

[Pranav Bahari]

I'm like, that's silk in a.

[Turner Sparks]

That'll be a wild wedding.

[Pranav Bahari]

Even Chinese outfit are great.

[Phil Duckett]

We have Chinese shirts for.

[Turner Sparks]

For Chinese.

[Phil Duckett]

Good as fuck.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, we dress up.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, we dress up.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Yeah, we go full in. Next question. This is from. Let's do this one. Dominic. I'm a white guy in Queens.

[Pranav Bahari]

Dom, Dom, Dom from Queens.

[Turner Sparks]

He says, for whoever your next Indian guest might be, here's my question. I saw an Indian kid and an older crazy Indian guy, unrelated to each other, arguing on the subway platform. The crowd is on the side of the kid. But then the kid started calling the older guy the N word.

[Pranav Bahari]

Oh, nice.

[Turner Sparks]

Not in a traditionally racist way, but more in the way where he thought he had a license to use it. Right away, multiple black guys on the platform. Platform told him to shut the fuck up. And I don't think the kid even realized what was wrong as he said it maybe two more times. What is the relationship with the word And Indians in America? America.

[Pranav Bahari]

Okay?

[Phil Duckett]

They should be saying it.

[Pranav Bahari]

They should not be saying it. And. But you will have. Look, and you come here as an Indian, right? You'll assimilate in two different ways. You'll assimilate either as black or as white.

[Turner Sparks]

That's right. O' Neill had that little bit, did he?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, probably true.

[Pranav Bahari]

Can't believe he stole that from me.

[Turner Sparks]

No, no, no. His was slightly. His said that his was Mexican and Chinese and Asian. And he said Mexicans pick black and Asians picked white.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yes, exactly. That's very true. Right. And so in Queens, most of the Indians that you're gonna find go naturally towards black, Right. Culture in school and whatever, right? And everything is culturally downstream of black people in this country and in the world, right? So they're raised with it. Maybe they're here at growing up and stuff like that. And so they just think, like, yeah, me and my N words, right? But the thing is, like, they're not necessarily hanging out with a lot of black people, you know, they're really just hanging out with a lot of other, like, Bengalis who got fades and who are cutting it cloth and maybe some Trinidadian Indian type, right? You know, and they just think, like, I'll estimate. I'll round up to black, right? Close Enough, they'll round up to black and they'll try to. They think they'll get away with saying the N word, you know, and then.

[Turner Sparks]

You'Re on a subway platform about to.

[Phil Duckett]

Get beat some real.

[Pranav Bahari]

Exactly, exactly. Every time I see an Indian guy trying to affect the blackness.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Pranav Bahari]

I'm like, kick that guy in the ball balls. Kick him in the balls. It's not real. It's not real. It's just. It's. It's the worst kind of appropriation because Indians are very privileged class of people here.

[Turner Sparks]

Indians have done well.

[Pranav Bahari]

Indians have done extremely well. We're the number top earners in the country at this point. Wow. We've even. I think we're neck and necker of surpass the Jews.

[Turner Sparks]

The owner of my favorite basketball team is an Indian man.

[Pranav Bahari]

Which team is that?

[Turner Sparks]

Unfortunately, the Sacramento Kings.

[Pranav Bahari]

Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

He's Indian vivekaranadive. Yeah.

[Pranav Bahari]

He's a couple South Asian tech billionaires. Yeah, of course.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

So do they. I mean, because y' all are technically Asian Indian, right? So do they. Are Indian parents, like, just like Asian parents, like, they just push their kids extremely hard?

[Pranav Bahari]

Like they push them extremely hard? Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

Do they make y' all kneel on rice, too?

[Pranav Bahari]

Was that.

[Phil Duckett]

They make you kneel on rice? I heard Chinese kids had to kneel on rice when they fuck up their tests.

[Pranav Bahari]

No, but we have other things, like. Well, you'll make a kid hold his ears in a corner for a few hours. And so what is. All kinds of penance that you have to perform?

[Turner Sparks]

What does that do?

[Pranav Bahari]

Make sure your arms get tired and you're. It's like, you know, in.

[Phil Duckett]

The.

[Pranav Bahari]

Asians in general are very good. They know the body very well, so they understand torture very well.

[Turner Sparks]

So this is if your kid's bad.

[Pranav Bahari]

As opposed to the same cultures they came up with, you know, qigong, tai chi, yoga. Right? These people. Thousands and thousands and thousands of years of studying and understanding the body. So they know how to torment people. Right. So for Indians, it's. It's. You have to hold. Go somewhere, stand in a corner holding your ears. Stand on one leg.

[Turner Sparks]

Maybe something like for like 10 minutes or something.

[Pranav Bahari]

How longer? Maybe, but depends how bad you up. You know?

[Turner Sparks]

What's the worst thing your parents ever made you do?

[Pranav Bahari]

Oh, I don't know. I mean, I had it kind of easy. If I would go to India, you know, hold. Stand in the corner, hold your ears or. My brother went to school in India once when he was a kid. Just as like a lark, right? And.

[Turner Sparks]

And.

[Pranav Bahari]

And he got in trouble in school, and they made him stand on the desk holding his ears for the whole class in school. Yeah, yeah. Holding your ears is also painful, right?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pranav Bahari]

It's not. It's not an easy thing. So it's a thing that you do as penance. You know, he went as a.

[Turner Sparks]

He went to school there for fun.

[Pranav Bahari]

It was like. It was like a kind of like, was he back there on summer vacation? And they were like, hey, the school you're starting, they're like, let's give it a shot of like, let's put him in school.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, summer vacation.

[Pranav Bahari]

Let's. Exactly.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Pranav Bahari]

There's no summer vacation for Indian kids. You know, like, you're. You're just pulling out. Then it's homeschooling, basically.

[Phil Duckett]

My mom. Yeah. Every day I used. My mom used to make me do like two hours each day during the summer. And I'd have to like pass her homemade test.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

To get outside.

[Pranav Bahari]

That's good.

[Phil Duckett]

I used to be so mad because some days, especially when I got to the math.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

There were days I'm like, well, I'm just not gonna see the sun today. I'll stay inside.

[Pranav Bahari]

Disobedience at its finest.

[Turner Sparks]

She would homeschool you all summer.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Every day. We had words. Words like us. We had spelling tests. Like, she gave me different words through this encyclopedia.

[Pranav Bahari]

That's a good mom.

[Phil Duckett]

And then I'd have a math.

[Turner Sparks]

That's too good of a mom.

[Phil Duckett]

Dude. I'm telling you, I used to just be so pissed, bro, because I, you know, school, English and all that.

[Turner Sparks]

Everyone else's parents, they're like, gone. You know what I mean?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

My parents would leave in the morning and they come back at five at night. My mom was doing everyone.

[Phil Duckett]

My mom was a stay at home mom. So my dad was at work, so. Yeah, she was there.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah. I mean, they would try and institute it where they'd be like, same with mine. My parents would work, but they'd be like, hey, when we get back, X, Y and Z has to be done in this workbook.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, my God.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Never been happier to be white. We didn't have to do anything.

[Pranav Bahari]

No.

[Turner Sparks]

You could build your. My friend is my friend who I grew up or I became friends with later. We grew up near each other. Palestinian American. And he was bad. So bad. One year in school, his parents for the summer sent him to Palestine.

[Pranav Bahari]

That is the punishment.

[Turner Sparks]

To go live with his cousin.

[Phil Duckett]

That's a different type of penance because.

[Turner Sparks]

He was like, Spoiled. They thought he was too spoiled as an American, you know.

[Phil Duckett]

Is he still alive?

[Turner Sparks]

I haven't seen him in a while. Shout out, Rami, if you're out there. All right, that's the show, everybody. One last thing we got to do. Joe Russell Black. Wait. White lies and dark truths. This is the fact check segment of the show. We find out what anything we said, what we got right, what we got wrong, what do we get?

[Pranav Bahari]

Yeah, so I just got a few fun facts and we'll just read through these worst things to put into a microwave. Fish. Phil said that broccoli, Brussels sprouts, sauerkraut, burnt popcorn and egg stuff.

[Phil Duckett]

Egg stuff stinks.

[Turner Sparks]

No, like hard boiled eggs in a microwave would be disgusting smelling. All right, that's for Bob in Pittsburgh.

[Pranav Bahari]

And then the one last thing. In America, 11 of unintermarried couples are a white man and an Asian woman. 4% involve a white woman and an Asian man.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, I think that's about right.

[Pranav Bahari]

Sounds about right.

[Turner Sparks]

But you're an Asian man. Asian woman.

[Pranav Bahari]

Yes, we are.

[Turner Sparks]

Look at that. Good for them how? What's the numbers on that? In Indian, Asian, East Asian is probably a. Is that in America?

[Pranav Bahari]

It's probably high.

[Turner Sparks]

Is it?

[Pranav Bahari]

Because these are all kids in the engineering department at school? I guess that's true. Like that these days. So when we go to the Patreon Pranav, can you tell the story of when you were robbed in India with a cobra? Sure, sure.

[Turner Sparks]

That's the greatest tease ever. That's the show, everybody. Patreon subscribers, stick around. You're gonna get the full story of when Pranav was robbed with a cobra in India. At five bucks a month. Patreon.com blackand white advice and you get that plus more. That's it, everybody else. See you next week.

[Pranav Bahari]

Peace.

[Phil Duckett]

Stay black.

[Turner Sparks]

Stay black. You've got a question but you're scared to ask. Just drop the boys a message. Cause they're up to the task.

[Pranav Bahari]

They're rolling the dice.

[Turner Sparks]

They ain't always nice.

[Pranav Bahari]

But you can't think twice when giving.

[Phil Duckett]

Black and white advice.

[Turner Sparks]

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[Pranav Bahari]

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[Turner Sparks]

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[Pranav Bahari]

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[Turner Sparks]

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[Pranav Bahari]

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[Turner Sparks]

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[Pranav Bahari]

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