Steven Rogers & "Why Do Fat White Guys Have Beards?"

Summary

Black and White Advice: Episode Summary - "Steven Rogers & 'Why Do Fat White Guys Have Beards?'"

Released on May 13, 2025

Hosts: Turner Sparks (White) and Phil Duckett (Black)
Guest: Steven Rogers
Description: Comedians Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett tackle questions on race with humor and insight. In this episode, they delve into the world of stand-up comedy, featuring a candid conversation with comedian Steven Rogers.

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1. Introduction and Studio Updates (00:00 - 02:34)

The episode kicks off with the hosts, Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett, introducing themselves and the premise of the show—answering all questions about race, no matter how challenging. They emphasize their commitment to educating listeners through humor and open dialogue.

Notable Quote:

Phil Duckett [00:00]: "I grow on people, you know? I mean, I'm like herpes. You start to live with me. You're like, it's not that bad."

Transitioning from the introduction, the hosts discuss their efforts to upgrade their podcasting setup, highlighting the success of their Patreon campaign. They humorously navigate questions about sponsorships and the delicate balance of maintaining authenticity while monetizing their content.

Notable Quote:

Turner Sparks [02:34]: "So go to patreon.com/blackandwhiteadvice and Phil can. And Joe can get money too."

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2. Live Show Announcement (03:33 - 04:01)

Turner and Phil announce an upcoming live show at the New York Comedy Club, featuring themselves and guest Joe Russell. They express excitement about performing stand-up together and interacting with the audience in real-time.

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3. Interview with Steven Rogers (04:05 - 47:25)

a. Performing Venues and Experiences (04:05 - 06:20)

Steven Rogers shares his experiences performing at various venues, highlighting the differences between intimate clubs and large theaters. He praises smaller venues for their engagement but admits that theaters offer a different kind of challenge.

Notable Quote:

Steven Rogers [05:12]: "They’re not there to see me."

b. Discussing His New Comedy Special (06:23 - 16:33)

Steven dives deep into his latest comedy special, which centers around his recent breakup. He explains the creative process behind integrating personal experiences into his material, emphasizing honesty and authenticity.

Notable Quote:

Steven Rogers [11:59]: "I do the whole special as if we're still engaged. And then I go... my fiancé and I just broke up."

c. Mentorship and Career Advice (16:33 - 22:39)

The conversation shifts to mentorship in comedy. Phil discusses his relationship with fellow comedians like Greer Barnes and Godfrey, emphasizing the importance of being likable and avoiding arrogance. Steven echoes these sentiments, stressing that being funny is complemented by not being an "asshole" to achieve sustained success.

Notable Quote:

Phil Duckett [17:51]: "Don't be an asshole. He said, people like you, you'll get opportunity."

d. Challenges in the Modern Comedy Landscape (22:39 - 35:05)

Steven elaborates on the evolving nature of the comedy industry, highlighting the necessity of social media presence and the decline of traditional avenues for comedians to gain recognition. He discusses the financial struggles many face and the shift towards self-promotion and online content to build a career.

Notable Quote:

Phil Duckett [21:40]: "Stand up should just be my only form of income. But because I don't have the social media thing... it's literally what this game is."

e. Comedian Doppelgangers and Misidentifications (35:05 - 47:25)

The trio engages in a humorous segment about celebrity look-alikes and the commonality of being mistaken for others in the industry. They share personal anecdotes about confusing fellow comedians and the awkwardness that ensues.

Notable Quote:

Steven Rogers [33:16]: "People keep coming up to me and going, 'Hey, Earthquake.' And I'm like, 'Again with this?'"

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4. Audience Questions (47:25 - 43:38)

Listeners submitted questions via Patreon, and the hosts address them with a blend of humor and genuine insight. The primary question revolves around racial perceptions and whether concerns about misidentification are unique to white individuals or universal.

Notable Quote:

Phil Duckett [26:11]: "That literally just happened to me. 45 minutes, did it."

They discuss cultural differences in recognizing individuals and how living in diverse environments like China versus the U.S. affects one's ability to identify people accurately.

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5. Fact Check Segment: White Lies and Dark Truths (43:38 - 46:24)

Joe Russell introduces the "White Lies and Dark Truths" segment, where they explore fun facts about celebrities and their look-alikes. They humorously analyze reasons why "fat white guys have beards," attributing it to practical reasons like covering a double chin and historical influences like the fascination with knights.

Notable Quote:

Turner Sparks [38:46]: "The warmness… It really does help. Keeps you toasty."

They also touch upon the trend of growing beards post-breakup, with mutual jokes about their own attempts and challenges in maintaining facial hair.

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6. Conclusion and Promotions (46:24 - End)

The episode wraps up with final thoughts and shout-outs. The hosts remind listeners to support their Patreon for bonus content and future episodes. They tease upcoming live shows and encourage audience engagement through questions and subscriptions.

Notable Quote:

Phil Duckett [47:46]: "Stay black."

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Key Takeaways:

• Authenticity in Comedy: Steven Rogers emphasizes the importance of honesty in stand-up, especially when integrating personal life events like breakups into material.

• Mentorship and Likability: Both hosts and guests agree that being likable and avoiding arrogance are crucial for sustained success in the comedy industry.

• Evolving Industry Dynamics: The conversation highlights the shift from traditional comedy venues to the necessity of a strong online presence and self-promotion.

• Cultural Perceptions: The episode delves into how race and environment influence one's perceptions and interactions, particularly in recognizing individuals.

• Humor with Insight: Throughout the episode, Turner and Phil blend humor with thoughtful discussions on race, identity, and the challenges within the comedy landscape.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Phil Duckett [00:00]: "I grow on people, you know? I mean, I'm like herpes."

• Steven Rogers [11:59]: "I do the whole special as if we're still engaged. And then I go... my fiancé and I just broke up."

• Phil Duckett [17:51]: "Don't be an asshole. He said, people like you, you'll get opportunity."

• Phil Duckett [26:11]: "That literally just happened to me. 45 minutes, did it."

• Steven Rogers [33:16]: "People keep coming up to me and going, 'Hey, Earthquake.' And I'm like, 'Again with this?'"

• Phil Duckett [47:46]: "Stay black."

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Conclusion:

In this engaging episode of Black and White Advice, Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett, along with guest Steven Rogers, navigate the intricate intersections of race, comedy, and personal experiences. Through humor and candid conversation, they offer listeners a blend of laughter and valuable insights into the modern comedy scene and the nuanced conversations surrounding race and identity.

Transcript

[Phil Duckett]

I grow on people, you know? I mean, I'm like, herpes. You know what I mean? You start to live with me. You're like, it's not that bad. You know what I mean?

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah. But no one likes herpes. Over time, yeah, well, they learn to live with it.

[Phil Duckett]

Have you ever had a question you wanted to ask the opposite race but you were too nervous to ask?

[Turner Sparks]

I'm Turner Sparks.

[Phil Duckett]

And I'm Phil Duckett.

[Turner Sparks]

And this is black and white advice.

[Phil Duckett]

But we answer all your questions about race, even the scary ones.

[Turner Sparks]

This is black and white advice. You've got a question but you're scared to ask.

[Phil Duckett]

Just drop the boys a message.

[Turner Sparks]

Cause they're up to the task.

[Phil Duckett]

They're rolling the dice.

[Turner Sparks]

They ain't always nice but you can't.

[Phil Duckett]

Think twice and get it. Black and white. Black and white.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, everybody. Welcome to the show. My name's Turner Sparks.

[Phil Duckett]

Real deal Feel the thrill. Back again for another week behind the.

[Turner Sparks]

Glass Spinning the knobs, switching the dials. We got your man Joe Russell. Joe, how you doing on the ones and twos?

[Joe Russell]

This is Barack Obama.

[Phil Duckett]

Don't you. Fucking terrible. So fucking. I swear, I thought it was going.

[Turner Sparks]

To be a Joe Biden. As slow as that came out.

[Phil Duckett]

It did. It came out real, real fucking geriatric.

[Turner Sparks]

We are in a brand new studio.

[Phil Duckett]

We. Well, we upgraded. We told you all the Patreon is doing well, and now we bought a whole new building.

[Turner Sparks]

I wish the Patreon is not. I was about to. And I might do this next week. Just start getting my own sponsorships on here. I've had companies reach out to me and say, we'll give you 50 bucks, but don't share it with the other two.

[Phil Duckett]

No way. Yeah, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, no, I might be doing it. I. Because, listen, are they racist?

[Phil Duckett]

So don't. Don't bring the black side of black and white advice.

[Turner Sparks]

Or. Yeah, or they. Or they said Joe, too, so.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, that's because Joe did Cosby a couple weeks ago. So they got to separate themselves.

[Turner Sparks]

If we don't get to 250. We're trying to get to 250amonth. We've been. Now. It's been a while, but. But. So go to patreon.com blackand white advice. If we don't get the Patreon, we're $40 away.

[Phil Duckett]

What the fuck?

[Turner Sparks]

We're $40 away. We don't get there soon, I'm going to be doing. I'll be doing Clorox. I'll be doing whatever they Throw at me. But I'll be keeping it all. Hey, I got.

[Phil Duckett]

Listen, it's every month DEI gets dissolved and they don't want the brother doing ass.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, I think. I think that's. That is. That was in the note. That actually, that was in the note they sent to me.

[Phil Duckett]

Taking food off my door.

[Turner Sparks]

It is. Go to patreon.com blackandwhite advice and Phil can. And Joe can get money too.

[Phil Duckett]

You know, I tell you what. Oh, buddy, I can't wait till we cut off the air type of bigotry is this.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm not. I'm just the messenger.

[Phil Duckett]

No, I want you to do it. I would never tell you to turn down money. But see, this is the machine, though. See, I say one thing about Jews last week and now they don't want me motherfucking doing fucking ads and shit.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, I learned to keep your mouth shut about Jews.

[Phil Duckett]

You're the one who brought it up. Bringing up all these Jewish guests and shit. The fuck I'm supposed to not say? None.

[Turner Sparks]

Patreon.com blackand whiteadvice Everybody and May 22, which is next week in terms of when we release this. Not actually next week, but when this comes out.

[Phil Duckett]

Shit fucked me up.

[Turner Sparks]

We're doing a live show at New York Comedy Club. 6pm Thursday night, early show. We're gonna do an after party down the street. It's me, it's Phil, it's Joe Russell. We're all doing stand up. It's. And then we're coming back on stage and taking your questions live.

[Joe Russell]

I just found out that it's just us three. You told me that last week.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, there's another show that you're. You produce and they're not even putting you on the show. They're doing a live show and they're not even putting you on it. So we. You were surprised that we have you on. I'm like, you're hosting the show. What are we like?

[Phil Duckett]

You thought it was going. What do you thought? We going to have a showcase show?

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, I thought that you'd bring in a few friends and stuff. I didn't know. It's just us three. That's awesome.

[Turner Sparks]

He gets no respect out of these other shows.

[Phil Duckett]

Exactly. And that's why you're doing an hour up top.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

So get ready.

[Turner Sparks]

He was surprised he was on the phone.

[Phil Duckett]

Did anybody like cashews? Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

An hour of that on the show today, everybody. We got Steven Rogers. Steven Rogers. Welcome to the show. You know him from touring with literally Every comedian on planet Earth. Wait, Nate Baratsi, Brian Regan. I don't know anybody else.

[Steven Rogers]

Tom Papa.

[Turner Sparks]

Those are the only two that matter. Oh, Tom Papa. He matters too.

[Phil Duckett]

Every comedian on Earth. And e name too.

[Turner Sparks]

Those are the two big ones. Those are the only two I watch.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, my God. But no, those are major names. So I. I do get it, but I thought it. You have a list. Oh, my God.

[Steven Rogers]

Thanks for having me, guys.

[Phil Duckett]

Thank you for coming, brother. So, you know, I know you've been on the road. Busy schedule, busy time. What? Let me ask you something. In your. In your travels, I need what is the best and what is the worst venue you've performed at?

[Steven Rogers]

Whoa, worst venue. Okay, best. Best has been lately. I just did Mic Drop in San Diego. It was really fun. And then I did the Lab at Zany's in Nashville. That was really great.

[Turner Sparks]

Wait, these are all better than these giant theaters you do?

[Steven Rogers]

Well, they're not there to see. Theaters are my favorite, but they're not there to see me.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Steven Rogers]

If we want to do give a.

[Turner Sparks]

Year, you could say like the lantern 2014.

[Steven Rogers]

Okay, well, no, I said in his.

[Turner Sparks]

Travels in my trip doesn't count.

[Phil Duckett]

No, I'm talking about.

[Steven Rogers]

But I'll say I did where the Sixers play in Philly. I did that Arena. Arena.

[Turner Sparks]

Not as good as the Lantern, but here's the thing.

[Phil Duckett]

And I don't know because my career is not taking that turn yet, but from what I hear, theaters are cool because yes, the people, but comedians, they're like, I will always take a class. Club packed versus a theater.

[Steven Rogers]

I will say both are amazing. And it. It really is. Like if a club, obviously more intimate, but a theater, zero distractions from you and your material. So like, you know, club, you got the drinks, you got the food, but it is still like this more intimate thing. But in a theater, they're just on you.

[Turner Sparks]

There's no weights, there's no cutting off your crowd.

[Steven Rogers]

There's no check spot checks. No chat. Yeah, at the theater.

[Turner Sparks]

They're coming out tuxedos. Excuse me. It's a two.

[Steven Rogers]

When I'm bombing the theater, I go, they must have gotten the checks.

[Turner Sparks]

Wait, we gotta promote your new specials out right now.

[Steven Rogers]

Yes.

[Turner Sparks]

Half of we.

[Steven Rogers]

Half of we on Nateland, YouTube, Nate.

[Turner Sparks]

Bargazzi and Brian Regan produced it. I watched it earlier today.

[Phil Duckett]

Half of we. And so I was doing some research.

[Turner Sparks]

Let's get into it.

[Phil Duckett]

And so Half a We, I thought was an interesting name.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

And you were talking about your girlfriend and a lot of. From what I hear now you're just a single whore.

[Steven Rogers]

I'm a single whore.

[Phil Duckett]

Were you single?

[Turner Sparks]

You and Phil?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. My girl left me.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. You guys need to go out on the town.

[Phil Duckett]

It's all right. My man.

[Steven Rogers]

You were the first comedian I saw after my proposal. Do you remember this?

[Phil Duckett]

No. That's probably why I didn't work.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Phil Jinx.

[Phil Duckett]

Dude probably was talking. You walked.

[Steven Rogers]

You almost walked in the room and they.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, my God. At the comedy club?

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

You proposed at a comedy.

[Steven Rogers]

I proposed. I made her think I'm not gonna say her name.

[Phil Duckett]

Wait a. Roll out the red carpet.

[Steven Rogers]

But my ex is a comic, and I tricked her into thinking she had a gig. And then.

[Phil Duckett]

Wait a minute.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, wow.

[Phil Duckett]

I do remember.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Holy. So I don't know if I realized. Yeah, that was that.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah. So I tricked her into going to the.

[Phil Duckett]

Phil.

[Turner Sparks]

So astonished, she stopped speaking into the mic for a second.

[Phil Duckett]

I didn't put the two together. That's why I haven't.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah. Tricked her into going to the club.

[Turner Sparks]

So it's New York Comedy Club.

[Steven Rogers]

And you went to go hang.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I went to go hang before my spot.

[Steven Rogers]

And they had to shove you in the bathroom or something?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, because I was walking because they.

[Steven Rogers]

Don'T want anyone to, like, be like, what's going on?

[Turner Sparks]

Was there a crowd? Like, you paid a crowd?

[Steven Rogers]

No, no. Made it seem like there was a corporate. Ah. So she went in, and then no one was in there except for me, and obviously it worked out.

[Turner Sparks]

Do you know what would be amazing? The next time you get engaged, do the exact same thing. But everyone at the club has to pretend like it's the first time you've done it. They go, oh, wow.

[Steven Rogers]

Wow.

[Turner Sparks]

One of my favorite stories to tell is, we know a guy. I won't say his name, but back in the lantern in, like, 2016, 17, he. It was his birthday. He was dating a girl. A waitress at the Lantern and a waitress at the Grizzly Bear at the same time.

[Phil Duckett]

Chico.

[Turner Sparks]

No, no, no, no.

[Steven Rogers]

I won't say his name. And then you start guessing.

[Turner Sparks]

No, you know, he married one of them. So I won't bring it up on the air. I won't bring it up on the air. But I remember it was me. I think you were there. Usama Sidi was there.

[Steven Rogers]

You've been in everybody's proposals. What's going on?

[Turner Sparks]

I know Gus Tate was there. I know Gus Tate was there. A Joe Schae. And then we're downstairs at the Lantern, and it's the Girl, the waitress from the. The. The other club from the. From Grizzly Pear comes downstairs and she has a birthday cake. And she goes, surprise. Birthday. It's your birthday. She has a cake and we all sing Happy Birthday. And then he cuts up the cake and we all eat it. And then she leaves. And then 20 minutes later, the waitress from the lantern, her shift begins. She comes in with a birthday cake and she comes down the stairs and she goes, surprise. And we all have to preten. The other thing didn't happen. We all sing happy. We all sing Happy birthday again. And we cut the cake. We go, ah, you're lucky guy.

[Phil Duckett]

Just completely threw the first one away. We couldn't finish it.

[Steven Rogers]

You guys told them which one to pick based on the cake. Wow.

[Phil Duckett]

So the name of your special. Were you already single when you dropped. Is that how that came? Or did you already know it was headed toward the end?

[Steven Rogers]

So we, you know, I realized I was broken up with right before I taped, like, a couple months before.

[Turner Sparks]

That's. Wait, that's the meanest thing. Because you already have all the material. Because I watched it. A lot of the material is about.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Being in a relationship. I'm gonna take your side for a second. What I. What did you. Was there a conversation that's like, if you're gonna break out with me, just please, at least let me record this? Put it out. We'll keep up appearances. We'll pretend like we're together. Material wise, I would be furious.

[Phil Duckett]

Think a comedian's gonna keep up appearances? I hate it here.

[Steven Rogers]

She's material. No, she's a. She's a good person.

[Phil Duckett]

She's a sweetheart.

[Steven Rogers]

She's a wonderful person, but obvious, you know, the right thing to do. She did, you know, as far as breakups go, she did a great job, I guess. And Steven, we got no, you know. But she goes. She was like, yeah, I am sorry that it is before you're taping.

[Phil Duckett]

Let's rip this scab off. Let's.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah. No.

[Phil Duckett]

Are you devastated?

[Steven Rogers]

I was horribly devastated.

[Phil Duckett]

Did you consider not fucking doing the special?

[Steven Rogers]

No.

[Turner Sparks]

I wondered that same thing. Would you be like, well, this material, or are you like, let's just record it now and get it out of here?

[Steven Rogers]

Well, obviously you both watched it and liked it a lot, so.

[Turner Sparks]

Wait, do you talk about that part in it? Because I watched the first 15. I'll be honest. And then I watched the last, like, five.

[Steven Rogers]

Oh, well.

[Turner Sparks]

And then I saw you jump in the car.

[Steven Rogers]

You saw the reveal. Then.

[Turner Sparks]

Then I watched the last 30 seconds?

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah. You watched last 30 seconds.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Steven Rogers]

So they. In the special, I do the whole special as if we're still engaged. And then I go. I do what would have been the closer? And I go, you guys are really great. Do you guys mind if I try something new? And then I take out a slip of paper and I go, my fiance and I just broke up. And then the crowd is like, what the hell? And then I do a couple of jokes about being left, and then I. I call it a night.

[Turner Sparks]

I like that.

[Phil Duckett]

Ready? Let me tell you something.

[Turner Sparks]

That's the only way to do it.

[Steven Rogers]

It was the only way to do it because I don't like lying on stage. I don't like pretending a thing is happening that's not happening.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Steven Rogers]

But I don't. I didn't want to get rid of that material before it was recorded. So I was like, well, this is the most honest way I can do it.

[Phil Duckett]

Imagine you just would have put out a prop gun and put in your mouth the joker.

[Steven Rogers]

I. I go now for my closer, and I just. I have pills. No one knows they're smarties. I'm just.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, God.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. I should have watched the last five.

[Steven Rogers]

You're fine. I regret you're comedians. I don't expect you to. To watch my special.

[Turner Sparks]

That's. I would. How did you even think of that? To get out of it that way? I.

[Steven Rogers]

You know, look, a breakup's hard enough as it is. And then I'm. I had a bunch of dates booked to run this thing, so. And Brian and Nate are producing it. I'm not gonna go. Hey, guys, thanks for. Yeah, thanks, but no thanks.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Steven Rogers]

So I was like, I have my. The one thing I like about comedy and you guys know is, like, you. When you have a problem with your act, the only way around it is. Is new jokes.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Steven Rogers]

You know, So I was like, I'll go on the. I'll go on the road. I'll run the special. I didn't do any of the jokes about being engaged, but that meant I had to fill the time with other stuff. So I was like. And obviously, I was. I write every day, and all I could write about was what I was going through.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Steven Rogers]

So I was like, well, I think the audience will be good, and I'll have their. I'll show that I'm good at stand up, because most people don't know who I am. So I'm, like, showing that I'm good enough to. To have their attention. And then I'm like, hey, I'm going through this thing. Are you guys cool with me trying new jokes? And most crowds are really game for that once they've seen that you're good.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. They didn't waste their money.

[Phil Duckett]

Right.

[Steven Rogers]

So then I would do it and I would try all these broken up and I had like Phil's taking notes by the way. I had like seven minutes and you know you'd find some are too dark. You know you look.

[Phil Duckett]

But makes the crowd sad.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah. And. And I'd had to really figure out how to tell and now it's in my new act. But like a bunch of stuff about being left and what that's like. And. And also trying to make sure that it wasn't aimed at the other person as the bad guy. Cuz they're not a bad person. So it's just trying.

[Phil Duckett]

That's class on you. Cuz I'm like, I don't care how the gun's aimed.

[Steven Rogers]

I. Yeah, I.

[Phil Duckett]

It.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

No, but you're right though. And the thing is I feel the same way about my ex. Like she's a great person.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

You know, anyway, I'll leave it at that. But you know, I get it.

[Turner Sparks]

It's.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah. There's. It can be multiple things. You can be hurt. But they. It doesn't.

[Phil Duckett]

But try not to be malicious and make them look crazy.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah. So I tried to make sure everything was pointed at me when I did jokes about it. And. And then I kind of noticed that that was how I was ending the show. And I was like this might be a good ending to the special because what I was originally going to do was do the whole special and go. By the way my fiance and I broke up and it was just going to go to black. Oh, and Sopranos ending like the Sopranos.

[Phil Duckett]

They would have hated you.

[Steven Rogers]

Yes. Nobody would have liked that. And then we can. We kind of came up with this idea and. And someone. I have a joke. I go, my parents are picking me up so I have to make this quick. And my parents came to the taping. So we had the idea of after the show I'd walk out the back door and they'd be waiting in a van and I drive off with them. So it ended up being like a wonderful distraction considering how much I was going through it emotionally. I was like, I'll use all my energy on this special.

[Turner Sparks]

When you say we came up with it, does that mean you just talking about yourself or was it was like how involved were like Regan and Bragati?

[Steven Rogers]

I mean I Mean, I was on the road with. With Regan a lot.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Steven Rogers]

When run, like, leading up to it. I mean, Reagan, Nate and. And Tom emotionally helped me a lot during this time. And then they'd want, you know, they watch my set, and if they had ideas, I think it was. I was out with Regan, and a friend of the tour managers was like, I really like that parents picking you up thing. And we were all riffing after a show, and we were like, what if that's how it ends is I get picked up? Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

It's always good to have those mentors around you like that who've been in the game a long time. They kind of see past the. You know. I mean.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah. I mean, like.

[Turner Sparks]

And also those people.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah, I'm very, very fortunate.

[Phil Duckett]

What do you mean by that comment? Those people?

[Turner Sparks]

I mean, they're three of the best for, like, clean comedy.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't know.

[Steven Rogers]

What are you saying that. Because they're women.

[Turner Sparks]

I mean, what. I mean, white people.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't know what you're capable of.

[Turner Sparks]

Who do you have, Phil? Who are your mentors?

[Phil Duckett]

Mentors? I don't have any. I'm a lone wolf.

[Turner Sparks]

You got none. There's no one older than you that's been helping you along the way?

[Phil Duckett]

I mean, they've helped me some, but I don't have anybody. Like, I can just call.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

You know, like, Ricky, I would consider him mentor. Even though we're close, the same age. He's been doing comedy. Yeah. He's doing it a lot longer than me.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

So. But again, he doesn't really, like, watch my set, so it's more so just talking about the business and this business side of the.

[Steven Rogers]

That's so. Yeah. Huge.

[Phil Duckett]

But, like, as far as, like, jokes and stuff, Greer Barnes has really helped. He. Earlier on, when I first got here and I got. Was opener for God for. He'd see some of it and he'd be like, you got to do this. Switch this up. And Godfrey the same. But it's been a long time, man. Like, I. I'd love. I'd love, like, an older comedian who's, like, successful to, like, break down some. But I don't really have that. You know me. I'm not gonna be like, hey, man, would you watch my set? That's gay.

[Turner Sparks]

It has to come around like.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, naturally. It's gotta be organic. Yeah. You can't be like, hey, man, watch this, man. I got like. That's because if somebody did that to me, I'd be like, get the. Out of Here, I'm not watching this, you know, I mean, but like so early on they gave him, they gave me a couple, you know, who's really been influential and I don't see him out but Sean Patton. Oh my God, he's one of the greatest people.

[Steven Rogers]

I love Sean.

[Turner Sparks]

And like, even before he kills harder than anybody.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. And even before I started to get some momentum in this game, when I first moved here and even the Lantern wasn't booking me, I used to hang out at the old stand on 3rd Ave. I met him there one day and that's how I met him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I would just talk to him because we're. He's from Louisiana. I went to college in Louisiana. So we just started talking and he gave me a lot of good gems. And to this day he gave me some of the greatest advice ever, a comedian's ever. Because I remember asking him, I was like, he asked me, he was like, what do you think the biggest part about being a comedian is? Like the most important thing? And of course I was like, be funny. And he just literally laughed my face. He said, I wish.

[Turner Sparks]

He was like the funniest.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. He was like, I wish that was it. He was like, don't be an asshole. He was like, that is the greatest. He's the only advice I know. He's like, if people like you, you'll get booked.

[Turner Sparks]

Don't you think funny is, is equal to that though?

[Phil Duckett]

No.

[Turner Sparks]

He said, he said, he said, super nice.

[Phil Duckett]

He said being funny is a plus, he said, because as you get going in this, you'll find you'll do a lot of big time shows where you'll look at the line and be like, how the fuck is this person on this show? He said, because they're not an asshole. People like them, they know the producer, they're likable. He said, if you're funny, you'll get booked again, but just to get to a certain room, just don't be an asshole. He said, people like you, you'll get opportunity. He said, then if you're funny, on top of that, your, your career will continue to grow. And, and honestly, he's not lying. I'm very likable in most circles, you know, and I think that's helped me. And then I do well once I'm on stage. But I mean, I've rubbed a lot of people the wrong way in this journey. People think I'm arrogant, cocky, and I talk shit like I'm the best. And it's held me back from some places. But once I'm in and they start to like me because I grow on people, you know, I mean, I'm like, herpes. You know what I mean? You start to live with me, you're like, it's not that bad. You know what I mean?

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah, but no one likes herpes. Over time, yeah, well, they, they learn.

[Phil Duckett]

To live with it.

[Turner Sparks]

I was like, you might not like me, but you'll learn.

[Phil Duckett]

But I'm here, you know, I'm here, I'm coming back.

[Steven Rogers]

That's great.

[Phil Duckett]

And so it is, you know, I mean, once you get on stage and they see you're funny, they'll invite you back.

[Turner Sparks]

But every time the season changes, I'll be there, baby.

[Steven Rogers]

That's great.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, so. Nah, man, I, I totally agree with that. Don't be an asshole is literally like the golden rule in life, but in comedy, it really does.

[Turner Sparks]

I think they're equal and you need both.

[Phil Duckett]

Turner, don't be. It can't be the Jet. Because there are so many unfunny people that are successful in stand up comedy.

[Turner Sparks]

Like genuinely unfunny, but genuinely successful.

[Phil Duckett]

Money making money is success. I don't know what you call it, but I tell you what, it's true. They make a lot more money than I'm making to stand up. And they are. And not trying to say I'm the, but I'm telling you. Yeah, you couldn't pay me to watch five minutes of their material and they are doing $5,000 a show. You know what I mean? Like, so I don't know what is success. That's. To me, that's successful. I'm literally. I told him I'm selling everything but pussy and popcorn to make it in this city. I am fighting for my fucking life, drowning in popcorn, fighting for my fucking life. And I do well when I'm on stage. But I don't know the business side. I have no social media presence. And that's literally what this game is. The comedy has changed. Nobody's going to come save you. Nobody's going to come get you. There's no executive from NBC sitting in the back smoking a cigar like, I'm going to make you a star. That doesn't happen anymore. You gotta be somebody on social media and then they come and take your money and make you bigger. But they all want to cut. But you got to make your own. That's where we're at now. It's like funny is so small percentage of it. Because if you learn how to beat the Algorithm, you're, you're in.

[Turner Sparks]

I think you can go into a room and kill for an hour. You can have a career in comedy, buddy.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm killed for an hour and I do. I have a career.

[Turner Sparks]

But you can, you can.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, yeah, but, and I have a career. But again I have like three other jobs as well. Stand up should just be my only form of income. But because I don't have the social media thing and I don't have the numbers, all I care about seats.

[Steven Rogers]

Do you say when you're talking about comics you really like he should be famous or she should be famous?

[Phil Duckett]

All the. Mike Britt, number one, my all time favorite.

[Steven Rogers]

Mike Britt is amazing.

[Phil Duckett]

He is I to this day watching him, even when I'm host, I'm like, I hate to be the person going after him.

[Steven Rogers]

He is that big fantastic.

[Phil Duckett]

And the thing is. Yeah, and he has a career. He's on righteous General. He just wants. He should be a household name.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah, I completely agree with that.

[Phil Duckett]

Funny as so funny does not put any clips. He's like, man, I ain't got time for that.

[Steven Rogers]

And, and, but that's unfortunate because he.

[Turner Sparks]

Does work as a comedian, doesn't he? Or not.

[Phil Duckett]

He doesn't travel, he don't hit the road, he don't tour.

[Turner Sparks]

Does he not?

[Phil Duckett]

I talk to him all the time. You don't have a job because he does so much extra. He does commercials, you know, I mean he's doing fine.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm not saying you can be rich. I'm saying you can make like a middle class income as a comedian.

[Steven Rogers]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm not saying be a famous person without clips or whatever.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah, yeah. If you're putting that.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I think I didn't realize when you say success, I'm thinking the top. Yeah, but no, there are, you could make, you can make 100,000 a year.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, this is what I'm saying.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

And in my estimation, you cheat in the system if you don't have to go into a day job every day and you're making 100,000 a year by telling jokes.

[Phil Duckett]

And if you were in any other city.

[Steven Rogers]

But the first thing I did today.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes, this is my point.

[Phil Duckett]

And if you were in any other city, 100,000 you'd be fine. 100,000 this city, you're like, well, I guess we can get a two bedroom. Hopefully.

[Steven Rogers]

You'Re cover pushing it.

[Phil Duckett]

Right? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's crazy though.

[Turner Sparks]

Large one bedroom.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, see.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Should we get to our questions?

[Steven Rogers]

I'm excited.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, we got your black and white device. Questions and answers coming up after the break. Member week is here at Lowe's. Don't miss your chance to get up to 40% off hundreds of items like paint, stain, tools, flooring and more. Shop our exclusive deals happening in store and online from May 8 through May 14. Not a member. Join Mylowes Pro Rewards for free today and get ready to save more Lowe's. We help you save loyalty programs subject to terms and conditions. Details@lowe's.com Terms subject to change.

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[Turner Sparks]

Hey, you want to get bonus content early episodes and have your questions answered on the show?

[Phil Duckett]

Well, then subscribe to our [e-mail] blackandwhite advice and subscribe right now.

[Turner Sparks]

Do it and we'll give you a shout out on a future episode.

[Phil Duckett]

And I might call you the N word.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, we're back. First question comes to us from Sam Michael, our Patreon subscriber. We always Patreon subscribers always get to the front of the line to ask questions. Patreon.com blackand white advice go there. Help us out. Sam Michael in Bangkok says, oh, this is a good one. He's written in a few times. He's a white guy. He lives in Bangkok, China. I used to know him. Sorry. Bangkok, Thailand. I used to know him when we.

[Phil Duckett]

Lived in China by lady boy.

[Turner Sparks]

He says the comedian Dwayne Perkins just came to Bangkok and I went to see him. Do you guys know Dwayne? Speaking of hilarious fantasies, Dwayne Perkins? Yeah. Los Angeles, based out of L A, From New York. Originally. Black comedian.

[Phil Duckett]

I think I've heard of. I think I've heard.

[Turner Sparks]

Super funny. He goes the Comedian Duane Perkins just came to Bangkok, and I went to see him. I think I chatted with him years ago in China when you guys brought him out here. This leads to a question for the show. When I saw him in Bangkok, I wanted to mention to him that I thought we met in China, but I was worried I might have the names mixed up and it would be one of those we all look alike moments. So I didn't say anything. If it had been a white guy, I would have been more willing to take a chance and ask if he had been to China before. But because of the racing, I didn't. Is that common? Is that common? Or is that only white people who worry about stuff like that?

[Phil Duckett]

That literally just happened to me. 45 minutes, did it. I text y' all. I was like, I'm walking behind this white dude that I think is Steven Rogers. I said, but I can't really be sure.

[Steven Rogers]

And then.

[Phil Duckett]

And no. I was like, well, why don't you ask him? I was like, nah. Joe was like, well, that's racist. I was like, well, he has shades on, so I can't really tell. And the thing is, as a brother, you know, it's one. It's embarrassing when it's the same. The person of your same color, you're like, what up, boy?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

And it's not the person like, oh, that happens all the time.

[Turner Sparks]

All the time.

[Steven Rogers]

Holy hell.

[Phil Duckett]

You know, from the side profile, you'll think it's your boy. Like, I remember one time, I swear to God, I literally. It was just God's grace. I get my ass beat, but I thought it was my homeboy who has a bald head like me. I was like, michael Jordan.

[Turner Sparks]

And it was a random black.

[Phil Duckett]

Random black dude. He was like, what the fuck? I was like, duh. I said, bro, you know, I wouldn't even disrespect you.

[Turner Sparks]

You know, he doesn't even know. I didn't, you know, I wouldn't disrespect you. He's like, I've never met you in my life.

[Phil Duckett]

The cranium looked the same as the homie. You know what I mean? So I really just came up and gave him the Michael Jordan. The palm.

[Steven Rogers]

The cranium's the same.

[Turner Sparks]

When I moved to New York, do you guys know Richie Redding?

[Steven Rogers]

Yes.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay. So we might have to put a picture of him up or something. But I had multiple black people be like, richie. And then.

[Steven Rogers]

Really, I don't see it. I don't. Of course.

[Turner Sparks]

And I never met Richie reading. So I'M like, I don't know. I was like, oh. Finally it got to the point where I would. The second they would do it, I'd be like, oh, I know I look like that guy. I haven't met him yet, but everyone tells me I look like that guy. I didn't put it together. So there was, like, only black people doing this until years later, I finally met Richie, and I'm like, I don't think I look like you at all. And he goes, dude, or act not only this. He goes, people tell me I look like you, too. It's like, he goes, that has happened to me. People like, do you know Turner Sparks? Are you guys related? But then we don't. We literally don't look alone.

[Steven Rogers]

You don't look alike?

[Phil Duckett]

No. Like, not even, like, a hair? Like a hair?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Like, I don't.

[Steven Rogers]

I'm trying to find the level of.

[Phil Duckett]

Racism I aspire to.

[Turner Sparks]

There was an era where Richie and I were, like, joking, like, oh, we're brothers.

[Steven Rogers]

Like, because didn't he have a mohawk?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And then, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mullet rich.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah. I already grew it. Just so to stop being compared to you.

[Phil Duckett]

I'd rather look like dirt.

[Steven Rogers]

I know of two. I'll say it off there, two comics that people kept getting them mistaken for each other, and they had the same. Like, they did kind of look alike. And one of them cut their hair just to stop getting the comparison.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, and because they were offended by the comparison.

[Steven Rogers]

Well, one of them was. Got slammed in a post for and.

[Turner Sparks]

Like, canceled in some way or something.

[Steven Rogers]

Not canceled, but just, like, I don't like this. You know, it was just like a going after someone for I don't know what reason.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Steven Rogers]

And this other comic was getting flack on that guy's name.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm thinking of two sets of comedians that look alike like that. I always. One. One set is. I always confuse Graham K. And. Okay, the dude from the Daily Show.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes, me too. Me too. Me, too.

[Phil Duckett]

I mean, every time I see him.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. What is that guy's name?

[Steven Rogers]

Michael Costa.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, Michael Costa. And Graham K. I always confuse him, like, to the point where I'm like, what up, Mike? And he was like, phil. And I'm like, before. Because I know both of them.

[Steven Rogers]

So, like, Graham is so funny to. I picture him, like, stepping you down.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Their personalities are extremely different.

[Phil Duckett]

Different, but just off looks.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah, I agree.

[Phil Duckett]

It's very similar. And then the other one I used to mix, the other one I always up is Peter Ravello.

[Steven Rogers]

And Kevin Hurley.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes. Oh. When I met Kevin Hurley, I went, yo, dude, what's up? Good to see you.

[Phil Duckett]

I mean it. Up every time. And that's what I'm like. It's weird how much I'll look alike.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So when I met Kevin, I was clearly too familiar with this guy I'd never met before. And he said it to me. He goes, you think I'm Peter Ravello, don't you? I went, yeah. And he goes, I'm not.

[Steven Rogers]

I've been.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes, you are.

[Steven Rogers]

I've been in the room.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm pretty sure you are.

[Steven Rogers]

I've been in the room. I feel for. I felt for both of them in this moment. I was in the room once where someone went to Kevin, so, Peter, how's the special going? Or something? And. Or they go, hey, how's the special going? And Kevin was on his phone. And he goes, I'm not Peter Rebella.

[Turner Sparks]

Maybe that was me. Maybe that was all the same time.

[Steven Rogers]

It wasn't you. I don't remember. I don't remember who it was, but I remember being like, just like, the room, the air was thick. I just felt.

[Turner Sparks]

So when I said hi to him, he said it with that exact. Like, just right off, right away. I'm not Peterville, and I didn't even.

[Phil Duckett]

Say Peter like that. But they have two doppelgangers in. In the same field. Like that.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Crazy, because I'm like, no, I'm not the only one. Like, I'm like. And I've messed it up even to this day, sometimes.

[Steven Rogers]

People keep coming up to me and going, hey, Earthquake. And I'm like, again with this?

[Turner Sparks]

That was the other person you opened for? I couldn't think of his name.

[Steven Rogers]

I would love, though.

[Turner Sparks]

Brian Regan. Nate Bargain.

[Steven Rogers]

I would love to work with Earthquake just to watch him.

[Turner Sparks]

I. I never. I don't mind when it's. Because this used to happen in China. A lot people would just say, you look like somebody that you look nothing like. No, because Chinese people don't see a lot of white people. So they just think everybody looks like.

[Steven Rogers]

So they'll just point at you and say another person.

[Turner Sparks]

Kids would always say spider man. Just straight up.

[Phil Duckett]

Let me. You know, I could see you got.

[Steven Rogers]

A Peter Parker, which is fine.

[Turner Sparks]

I didn't mind that. But then adults would. Mr. Bean. Which I didn't.

[Phil Duckett]

I also could see that as well.

[Turner Sparks]

I didn't.

[Phil Duckett]

Like, I could see that as well.

[Steven Rogers]

Especially when the other one you're getting is Spider Man. Superhero.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, bro. You know who I Get confused with all the time.

[Turner Sparks]

Didn't even talk.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't even get confused off looks. I get confused off name people.

[Steven Rogers]

I mean, that's so funny how far on the spectrum.

[Turner Sparks]

He's an old man. Yeah. Who has, like, a mole on his face and doesn't speak. How do I look like him?

[Phil Duckett]

It's the haircut in the ears.

[Turner Sparks]

I know what it is. Why are you telling me what it is? I know what it.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, like, you couldn't see it.

[Steven Rogers]

And I'm like, don't ever do a rhetorical. No. No one follows rhetorical rules.

[Phil Duckett]

I was like, you really want to know? No, I get confused with Phil Hunt. We look nothing alike.

[Steven Rogers]

No, the only thing you have in.

[Phil Duckett]

Common is your name is black and we're Phil. No, no, to the point. No, it's not like, just a confusion. People like, oh, I saw you at Caroline's. I saw you. And I'm like, I haven't.

[Turner Sparks]

Richie reading Phil Hunt.

[Phil Duckett]

But. Yeah, and. But the thing is, Phil Hunt hit me up one day. He was like. So I just got booked for this show, 200 bucks because they saw me at New York Comedy Club. Look. I said, what? He was like, yeah. And then he said. It didn't hit me until I accepted. He was like, phil Duckett. I said. I said, you taking money from me now?

[Turner Sparks]

Did you guys do the switcheroo?

[Phil Duckett]

No, I said. I said, do it. I said, if they don't know the difference between Phil Duckett and Phil Hunt, like, they're that.

[Steven Rogers]

I agree.

[Phil Duckett]

Look, I said, let him have. I said, and you better destroy.

[Turner Sparks]

Ask me.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. If I'm associated.

[Turner Sparks]

You give him your material.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, my God. No, But I was so. And the thing is, it's happened, Multo. That was the only time money's been involved. But people, all the time, they're like, I just saw you with Nico. I'm like, that's Phil Hunt, bro. Yeah. It is crazy.

[Steven Rogers]

You guys, he's five six.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm six two. Nothing alike, other than black. He's even bald.

[Turner Sparks]

Next question.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Steven Rogers]

Did we answer his question?

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, yeah. Well, the question was, is it common? I guess. Yeah. Because the question was, is it a race?

[Phil Duckett]

White people, black people, anybody?

[Turner Sparks]

Do only white people worry about this or everyone does? I don't think Chinese people worry about it. They just straight up tell you, you look like, you know, whatever, Mr. Bean.

[Phil Duckett]

I wonder if they have a hard time deciphering like we do with them.

[Turner Sparks]

No, they don't.

[Steven Rogers]

Wait, what?

[Phil Duckett]

Like Asians? How? We're like, you know, I don't know.

[Steven Rogers]

I've never.

[Turner Sparks]

Wait. Is your question different kinds of Asians, or is it different people? Like, human beings?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Like. Like when they're in China, do they're like, oh, that's my home girl? Like, nah, that's not her, dude. They all look different to them.

[Turner Sparks]

I don't know. But I will say, when I was living out there, there was at one point, there was like, a guy on the loose who's like a killer on.

[Phil Duckett]

The loose, and it was hard to find.

[Turner Sparks]

No, they had his. They had a sketch of him all over the city. Do it close up.

[Steven Rogers]

As I tell this story, does it look like me?

[Turner Sparks]

It looked like everyone.

[Phil Duckett]

That's what I was saying. They got so bad. I was like, it's him. It's him.

[Turner Sparks]

Wait, I was doing that on stage out there. I was like, by the way, I saw that killer this morning. He was working at 7:11.

[Steven Rogers]

He had like, 14 jobs.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Steven Rogers]

Bus driver. He was a traffic cop.

[Turner Sparks]

Killed. They loved it. That's great. Yeah. But no, I found. I. I did find that. Obviously, wherever you live, whatever type of person you're around, you get used to deciphering the differences in that race or whatever, you know? And then when I moved back to the US I remember for like, the first six months.

[Phil Duckett]

Lost your powers.

[Turner Sparks]

I thought I would see celebrities all over the place. Like white American celebrities or black American.

[Phil Duckett]

White people look the same to you?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Steven Rogers]

And I've had.

[Turner Sparks]

Because I.

[Steven Rogers]

Most I've had that with is white people.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

I. What I would been in China for 12 years. I just wasn't used to seeing this amount of white people or black people. So I would regularly be like, oh, my gosh. That's like, you know, Ted Lasso.

[Phil Duckett]

That's dmx.

[Turner Sparks]

And then it just wasn't humble. Yeah, it was, Phil. All right, next question. Let's see. This is from. Oh, this is a good one, Morris. I'm a white guy in Fort Worth, Texas. I was in church on Easter Sunday, and this old black man behind me kept saying, preach. Every time the pastor had something to say that he liked, but he goes, but, like, the pastor was preaching.

[Steven Rogers]

That's so funny.

[Turner Sparks]

I always thought preach was reserved for someone. For someone who was saying something in normal life that sounded so good, they should be preaching. But if you're saying preach in a.

[Steven Rogers]

Church, that's so that.

[Phil Duckett]

Morris, this is the widest question I've ever.

[Steven Rogers]

That was so.

[Phil Duckett]

So. But he is preaching. We don't need confirmation.

[Turner Sparks]

No, they're Already pre.

[Steven Rogers]

I mean, he keeps looking back at him.

[Phil Duckett]

He is, buddy, if you would listen.

[Turner Sparks]

He goes. He goes. Is this like, if you're doing comedy and somebody's like, tell a joke after you just told the joke.

[Phil Duckett]

Right. Same thing. It's not because nobody in a. In a comic club says joke.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah, but why?

[Phil Duckett]

It's a joke. Nobody.

[Steven Rogers]

In a comic club. They will say preach.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, yeah. In a comic club, they will say, it started in church. When it gets good, the sermon gets good. You're saying, preach. Like, say that again. Like. Yeah, like it's.

[Turner Sparks]

But I'm. But aren't they already?

[Steven Rogers]

I do get this, man. I can't believe I'm so. I feel so much more secure with where I am racially.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Because I'm like, it's gross. Turner understands it.

[Steven Rogers]

I can't believe. I can't believe that's a question.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. He looks back. He is.

[Turner Sparks]

Just let him.

[Steven Rogers]

Literally, when you started that question, I had that ready as a bit, and then it was the real question.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, the preach thing.

[Steven Rogers]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

That's crazy.

[Phil Duckett]

Starting church. And so then that's when it moved from the church to the street, where somebody says something good, like, oh, you preaching today? Like, yeah. I mean, like, that's.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, that maybe that's when I heard it.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, that's. You heard it?

[Turner Sparks]

I only heard it.

[Steven Rogers]

You didn't hear it from the orange street guy?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. God almighty.

[Steven Rogers]

I. I gotta tell you, that question made me feel great, man. That's great.

[Turner Sparks]

So we've just settled the debate. Who's more white, me or Steve?

[Phil Duckett]

We've never had to debate that. I've always put my money on you.

[Steven Rogers]

I'm very white.

[Phil Duckett]

Money on Turner, man.

[Steven Rogers]

I'm extremely white.

[Phil Duckett]

The stories he's told me. He is ground zero white.

[Steven Rogers]

All I am is the. The next crayon over. Yeah, that's it.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Peach.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah. Yeah, I'll be peach.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. You didn't have to.

[Steven Rogers]

Looking for my Mario.

[Turner Sparks]

Last question.

[Steven Rogers]

I just showed you how white I am by doing that bit when you had it.

[Turner Sparks]

Tony, in North Hollywood, California, this would be the last question.

[Steven Rogers]

Is he white?

[Turner Sparks]

He's black.

[Phil Duckett]

Whoa.

[Steven Rogers]

Black, Tony.

[Turner Sparks]

I want to know. In North Hollywood, California, I'm black. Take that again. Tony in North Hollywood, California, says I'm black. I want to know, why do fat white guys all have beards? I know the answer to this.

[Steven Rogers]

Oh, yeah?

[Turner Sparks]

There's two answers. The one is the double chin.

[Steven Rogers]

Definitely.

[Phil Duckett]

I thought that was the only answer.

[Steven Rogers]

I don't know about the second One.

[Turner Sparks]

The second one's. I think it's up kind of like a Sir Lancelot type thing. Like, they wanna. There's a white guy fascination with old knights.

[Steven Rogers]

Oh, for sure. Yeah, sure.

[Turner Sparks]

Like, you know what I mean, Nights that fight.

[Phil Duckett]

I mean. I mean, King Arthur. Like King Arthur table.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't think that's. You think, like, all those Hell's Angels guys are knights of the Round table?

[Turner Sparks]

No, but that's. I don't think that's what the question's about. It's about, like, the hipster beard guys, like the nerdy.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh. Where they curl or they curl the muscle.

[Turner Sparks]

The fat guy with the beard that.

[Phil Duckett]

Where they. They look like.

[Steven Rogers]

Oh, yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

1870 barbers.

[Steven Rogers]

The handlebar.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. The Hannah.

[Turner Sparks]

A bit of that. Yeah. With the. With the long. That, like, long, longest.

[Phil Duckett]

I think it's just a way for them to try to set themselves apart and be unique.

[Turner Sparks]

But at this point, it's not even setting.

[Steven Rogers]

No, they're all doing it.

[Turner Sparks]

Everyone.

[Phil Duckett]

Because it comes with.

[Turner Sparks]

I think we're the only two white guys without beards.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. I think the double chin is probably the main thing.

[Steven Rogers]

I think it's the. I think it's that. I think it's the chin.

[Phil Duckett]

Weak. Weak jaw. Weak jawbone. You know, they don't have a.

[Turner Sparks]

Stop describing my face, though.

[Steven Rogers]

I love. I love a fat guy with a beard that does the. Where they have the sense of humor about it and they're making jokes like, oh, this is just to catch my food. Like, I like a guy that's got a sense of humor about himself. Have you ever heard. Yeah. Have you ever heard a heavier guy do that joke?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, all the time.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah, I kind of like it. I was gonna say some hack jokes are. I'll take it.

[Phil Duckett]

You know, why do you need a joke about why you have a beard if you have a beard? You just got a beard. I don't need to.

[Steven Rogers]

I'm not even talking like a comedian. I'm talking.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Just the regular.

[Steven Rogers]

Regular in person bit.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. I'm like, oh, I didn't really give a. Why you had a beer. I never thought about it again. He has a beard and I've moved on.

[Turner Sparks]

I've moved on.

[Steven Rogers]

He's standing there. Cool.

[Phil Duckett]

Cool, man. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

I do think the black guy beard's coming back. Right?

[Phil Duckett]

We've always rocked the beard. We are. We are fashion. So.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

That goes preach. Yeah. Thank you.

[Turner Sparks]

Preach. Do you ever know the fat white guy comedian who does the. Hey, let me move this out of the way. So you can see me.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

They moved the mic stand.

[Steven Rogers]

They. I've seen that quite a bit.

[Phil Duckett]

That's even more terrible than the food in the beard.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah, I've seen that one a lot.

[Phil Duckett]

Were y' all in Atlantic City?

[Turner Sparks]

Where was this happening? Or the one when they walk on stage and they go, give me a second, I'm exhausted.

[Steven Rogers]

Oh, I haven't seen that one.

[Turner Sparks]

You haven't?

[Steven Rogers]

No.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, it's. It's a way to kit. They. They're killing immediately.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

The second they stand up there. Ah, let me catch my breath. I just took three steps.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah. I haven't. The mic stand one I've seen quite a bit. That might be the only one. I know the fat guy jokes.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, and CPAP machine.

[Steven Rogers]

CPAP machine. I've seen a bunch.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. There's a whole genre of.

[Steven Rogers]

I mean, the best fat jokes of all time are Louie Anderson's Tonight show on Carson. If you haven't seen it.

[Turner Sparks]

I don't. Who's.

[Steven Rogers]

There's unbelievable. He goes, I'll make this quick. I'm in between meals. That's his own. I mean. And he just annihilates from there.

[Turner Sparks]

That's a good job.

[Joe Russell]

What's hilarious about that is he's not even fat. Considering today's standards.

[Steven Rogers]

No. Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

He's like everyone.

[Steven Rogers]

You've seen it, right?

[Joe Russell]

Oh, yeah.

[Steven Rogers]

It's so good. He has the shortest joke. Maybe. I. I won't say it's on record or anything, but one of the shortest jokes I've ever seen. He's talking about fat. If there are fat people in the Olympics.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Steven Rogers]

And he goes, broad jump. Killed her. Four words.

[Phil Duckett]

That is such a danger.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

You guys remember John Panett?

[Steven Rogers]

Oh, my God. I.

[Turner Sparks]

He's maybe one of the best fat comedies. Maybe the best.

[Steven Rogers]

Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

[Turner Sparks]

He had, like, a boyish voice and look, but he was like, big.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So it was like fat jokes mixed with. I look like a kid jokes.

[Steven Rogers]

Yes.

[Turner Sparks]

And with, like, rapid fire, like, the.

[Steven Rogers]

Amount of energy he had for a fat guy. Unbelievable. Have you seen the original? Not the original, but the first Punisher movie.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Steven Rogers]

The fat guy in that. Yeah, That's John Panett.

[Turner Sparks]

He was, like, early 90s in a ton of movies. Yeah, right.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah, yeah. Unbelievable comic. Unbelievable. He died a while ago, though.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Like, he was. He was way too big.

[Steven Rogers]

Think. Yeah, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm not sure if that's.

[Phil Duckett]

Do you think Bert Kreischer was famous before he started taking his shirt off? Or you think he was like, on my Level. When he started taking his shirt off.

[Turner Sparks]

And you're thinking about taking.

[Steven Rogers]

You think about taking your pants off.

[Phil Duckett]

I just want to know if I'm gonna get banned.

[Turner Sparks]

Dude, I will say this.

[Steven Rogers]

If you be the first Pooh Bear comic.

[Phil Duckett]

Is this gonna work or not?

[Turner Sparks]

If you do the rest of our show from now on with your shirt off, it can't hurt.

[Phil Duckett]

I'll do the next episode with my shirt.

[Turner Sparks]

There we go.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Steven Rogers]

So good about this one.

[Turner Sparks]

I think Bert Chrysler. I don't know. Yeah, the shirt.

[Steven Rogers]

I know who your next guest is. Please take your shirt off. Please do it.

[Phil Duckett]

Take it off.

[Steven Rogers]

In the middle of it.

[Phil Duckett]

Say anything. Just take it off and just sit beside him.

[Turner Sparks]

We all take our shirts off.

[Phil Duckett]

That would. Do you understand how uncomfortable people would be like, what the is going on?

[Steven Rogers]

That's very funny.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, I think that's it. We got one more question. We got to see. Save it for Patreon subscribers. Last thing we do. Joe the Muscle Russell. We got. This is called White Lies and Dark Truths. This is our fact check segment of the show. Everything we've been saying.

[Steven Rogers]

Oh, my God.

[Turner Sparks]

Joe's been clickety clacking away back there.

[Joe Russell]

Except there's no WI fi in this apartment, so I've been using my phone. So I've done the best I can with this. So you guys are talking about celebrity doppelgangers or people that. People that were. Yeah, so I found, like, real famous people that are, like, have doppelgangers. Okay, so some you didn't think about were Will Ferrell and Chad Smith from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

[Steven Rogers]

Big One.

[Joe Russell]

Jamie Presley and Margot Robbie.

[Steven Rogers]

Oh, okay.

[Turner Sparks]

I didn't know about that. Yeah, Like a decade separates them in age.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, yeah. Kira Knightley and Natalie Portman.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joe Russell]

Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry are the ones that came up.

[Steven Rogers]

Oh, that's a. That's a good one.

[Turner Sparks]

What about the guy who's the gym of the Lakers and then he looks like Rob Lowe. Do you know what I'm talking about?

[Phil Duckett]

Jerry Buss.

[Turner Sparks]

No, he's the owner.

[Steven Rogers]

I don't know, the gm.

[Turner Sparks]

He was, like, Kobe's best friend and Kobe's agent.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, I forgot.

[Turner Sparks]

You know what I'm talking about. If we. Whatever. If there's pictures of him, there's this dude. He looks. Literally, he looks like Rob Low. He just scammed that Dallas guy. Okay, whatever his name is.

[Joe Russell]

Rob Pelinka.

[Turner Sparks]

Rob Polinka.

[Steven Rogers]

They're both named Rob.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, I never thought about that part. He looks exactly like Rob, two fills like the same human being.

[Joe Russell]

And lastly, I found out reasons to wear beards.

[Phil Duckett]

Warmth.

[Joe Russell]

That goes way back to, you know, caveman days. To appear more masculine.

[Turner Sparks]

Wait, wait, can I ask? The warmth, Is that true? You guys both have beards? I can't grow a beard in the winter.

[Phil Duckett]

Time is a big difference.

[Turner Sparks]

It really does help.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, for sure.

[Turner Sparks]

Keeps you toasty.

[Steven Rogers]

Scarf of the chin.

[Phil Duckett]

More than having a bare face. When that wind starts whipping, you can feel the difference.

[Turner Sparks]

Really? All right.

[Joe Russell]

It's less timec consuming. You don't have to shave every couple days if you have a beard. And another thing, Camouflage. Like what you guys are saying to cover a skin condition or acne or scabies.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah, herpes.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, to cover up. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Beards don't cover cold, so.

[Joe Russell]

And also, people will also grow beards after breakups a lot, for some reason. So.

[Turner Sparks]

Is that true?

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah, this is mine. Broke up nine months ago.

[Turner Sparks]

Could you grow up here if you want? I could not.

[Steven Rogers]

I can only grow here, so it looks like I'm trying to do something intentional.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't see any Turner. We. Turner started growing one. Then I think his wife made a shave. But he can grow. He says he can't. No, I'm looking at the follicles.

[Turner Sparks]

No, it's so wispy, though. It looks real pedophile.

[Phil Duckett]

Is it like those Asian beards, like Confucius?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, it's basically I'm Confucius in white form. It's. It's like six. First of all, it's like Cletus the slack jaw yokel from Simpsons. It's like six things here and then like patchy everywhere else.

[Steven Rogers]

You have what I don't have, and I have what you don't have.

[Turner Sparks]

We're half. We're both half a man together.

[Steven Rogers]

Together we equal one man.

[Phil Duckett]

Also the only two real men in here.

[Steven Rogers]

That's right.

[Phil Duckett]

So you. You got low T. I need you.

[Steven Rogers]

Guys to walk me to the train after this.

[Turner Sparks]

Did you say even? It's been nine months since your breakup?

[Steven Rogers]

I think so, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, look at that. Because the special came out like two weeks ago, so.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

You know, you always assume the special was recorded like this. There's. We're like three weeks old on the breakup, but obviously.

[Steven Rogers]

Yeah, yeah, it was. You're doing fine.

[Turner Sparks]

What are we even talking about it for? Cut the whole first episode. All right, that's it, everybody. Patreon subscribers, stick around after the music. We got more bonus show for you. Everybody else, patreon.com blackand white advice and everyone. May 22, we will see you at New York Comedy Club. Get your tickets now. That's it.

[Phil Duckett]

Stay black.

[Turner Sparks]

Stay black. You've got a question but you're scared to ask Just drop the boys a.

[Phil Duckett]

Message cause they're up to the task.

[Turner Sparks]

They'Re rolling the dice they ain't always.

[Phil Duckett]

Nice but you can't think twice and get it like it.

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