Why Do Black People Love Red Lobster?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Black and White Advice – Episode: "Why Do Black People Love Red Lobster?"

Release Date: February 11, 2025
Hosts: Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett
Description: Comedians Turner Sparks (white) and Phil Duckett (black) answer all your questions on race, even the scary ones.

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Introduction

In this episode of Black and White Advice, hosts Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett delve into a humorous yet insightful discussion addressing why Red Lobster holds a special place in the hearts of many Black Americans. The conversation is marked by candid exchanges, relatable anecdotes, and a blend of comedic banter that sheds light on cultural preferences and societal perceptions.

Why Do Black People Love Red Lobster?

The primary focus of the episode revolves around the enduring popularity of Red Lobster within the Black community. The hosts explore various factors contributing to this phenomenon:

• Affordability and Generosity: Phil Duckett humorously remarks, "Like, that's really where you take your hood chick... she's going to get the money spent on her." (09:00) highlighting the restaurant's appeal for dates where generosity is key.

• Seafood Boils and Cultural Practices: The discussion transitions to the cultural significance of seafood boils, a staple in many Black households. Turner Sparks notes, "There's a place right across the street, a seafood boil place. It might be called The Boil. It's packed like every weekend. I would say 90% black people." (09:05) emphasizing the communal and familial aspects of these gatherings.

• Red Lobster's Menu Offerings: The hosts touch upon Red Lobster's menu items, particularly the beloved butter biscuits and seafood options like crab legs and shrimp, which are favorites during gatherings and special occasions.

Hate Mail Segment

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to addressing hate mail from listeners, allowing Turner and Phil to engage directly with their audience's questions and criticisms.

Addressing Racial Terminology

One of the questions from a listener named April challenges the necessity of referencing race when describing individuals. Phil Duckett responds assertively, "That's the dumbest fucking question ever... race is literally the backbone of this nation." (11:22) defending the importance of acknowledging racial identities in a multicultural society like the United States.

Cultural Appropriation and Representation

The conversation also delves into the portrayal of historical figures like Jesus and Santa in multiracial families. Phil Duckett argues against the traditional white depiction of Jesus, asserting, "Jesus was not blonde hair, blue eyes... he's got to be black or dark-skinned." (32:35) advocating for more accurate and diverse representations that reflect historical and cultural realities.

Audience Reactions and Snapping

Peter from Brooklyn raises a question about audiences snapping instead of clapping at comedy shows, a practice he associates with Black culture and jazz music from the 1950s. The hosts discuss their own experiences, with Turner Sparks sharing, "I saw it years ago at the Lantern... Super... artsy side." (35:28) suggesting that such reactions are more common in specific cultural or artistic settings rather than mainstream comedy venues.

Cultural Insights and Humor

Throughout the episode, Turner and Phil interweave cultural insights with humor, making the discussion both informative and entertaining.

• Skinhead Subcultures: The hosts explore the complexities within punk and skinhead communities, distinguishing between anti-racist skinheads (Sharps) and neo-Nazi skinheads. Phil Duckett quips, "I'm a curb stomp... sober little bitch." (02:49) playfully highlighting the intense dynamics within these groups.

• Multiracial Family Dynamics: Addressing the portrayal of cultural figures in multiracial households, Turner jokes, "We crucified Confucius in the other room." (34:01) adding humor to the serious discussion on cultural representation.

• Comedy and Political Correctness: The hosts touch upon the evolution of comedy and its relationship with political correctness. Turner reflects, "I think we're actually past the politically correct world of comedy." (18:29) suggesting a shift towards more open and unapologetic humor.

Key Takeaways and Conclusions

• Cultural Significance of Red Lobster: The episode underscores Red Lobster's role as a cultural hub for Black Americans, serving as a venue for communal dining, celebrations, and fostering a sense of belonging.

• Importance of Racial Identity: Turner and Phil emphasize the necessity of acknowledging and respecting racial identities, especially in a diverse nation like the United States.

• Evolving Social Norms: The discussion highlights how social norms, especially in comedy, are evolving to become more inclusive and reflective of diverse experiences.

• Humor as a Tool for Education: By blending humor with serious discussions, the hosts demonstrate how comedy can be an effective medium for addressing and educating about complex racial issues.

Notable Quotes

• Phil Duckett on Generosity at Red Lobster:
  "Like, that's really where you take your hood chick... she's going to get the money spent on her." (09:00)

• Phil Duckett Defending Racial Terminology:
  "That's the dumbest fucking question ever... race is literally the backbone of this nation." (11:22)

• Phil Duckett on Representation of Jesus:
  "Jesus was not blonde hair, blue eyes... he's got to be black or dark-skinned." (32:35)

• Turner Sparks on Political Correctness in Comedy:
  "I think we're actually past the politically correct world of comedy." (18:29)

Conclusion

This episode of Black and White Advice successfully blends humor with meaningful discussions on race, culture, and societal norms. Through engaging dialogues and relatable anecdotes, Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett provide listeners with both entertainment and valuable insights into the cultural phenomenon of Black Americans' affinity for Red Lobster, among other topics. The hosts' ability to address sensitive subjects with wit and depth makes this episode a compelling listen for those seeking to understand the nuanced intersections of race and culture in contemporary society.

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Timestamps:
<span id="timestamp09:00">09:00</span> – Red Lobster's Appeal
<span id="timestamp09:05">09:05</span> – Seafood Boil Popularity
<span id="timestamp11:22">11:22</span> – Racial Terminology Debate
<span id="timestamp18:29">18:29</span> – Comedy and Political Correctness
<span id="timestamp32:35">32:35</span> – Representation of Jesus
<span id="timestamp34:01">34:01</span> – Multiracial Family Dynamics
<span id="timestamp35:28">35:28</span> – Audience Snapping in Comedy
<span id="timestamp09:49">09:49</span> – Hate Mail Introduction

Transcript

[Phil Duckett]

Like you want to impress like a chick on a date and she likes seafood. You take her to a seafood Red Lobster, you know, that's really where you take your hood chick. You know what I mean? Like, it really is. Like that's where you're going to take your low class eater. You know what I mean? Your main thing goes to the seafood boil. She's going to get the money spent on her. All right? Have you ever had a question you wanted to ask the opposite race but you were too nervous to ask?

[Turner Sparks]

I'm Turner Sparks.

[Phil Duckett]

And I'm Phil Duckett.

[Turner Sparks]

And this is black and white advice.

[Phil Duckett]

But we answer all your questions about race, even the scary ones.

[Turner Sparks]

This is black and white advice.

[Phil Duckett]

You've got a question but you're scared to ask. Just drop the boys a message. Cause they're up to the task. They're rolling the dice. They ain't always nice. But you can't think twice and give it black and white advice. Black and white.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, everybody. Welcome to the show. I'm Turner Sparks.

[Phil Duckett]

The Real deal educated field of thrill.

[Turner Sparks]

We got Joe Russell, Joe the Muscle Russell behind the glass on the ones and two. I got a mic now.

[Phil Duckett]

Hey, a.k.a. hey, Big Lube in the building, huh?

[Turner Sparks]

Do you have a camera on you? Big loop.

[Joe Russell]

No.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, did we start too soon?

[Joe Russell]

No, I'm just going with. I'm just doing the sound for now.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Joe Russell]

And then because it's a lot of work to put the video in for now.

[Phil Duckett]

Got you.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Until we get a real. I want to get.

[Joe Russell]

Let's get big. And then I'll take the time to put my fucking face in.

[Phil Duckett]

Nice. Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

Getting big Patreon's exploding right now.

[Phil Duckett]

I've heard. We've been doing well.

[Turner Sparks]

We've been doing extremely well. Thank you, everybody. We're so close to getting you in a mosh pit.

[Phil Duckett]

Are we, Are they still the gentrifiers?

[Turner Sparks]

Well, they're still. Yes, I believe.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay, we'll have to double check.

[Turner Sparks]

We'll have to double check.

[Phil Duckett]

But we were the gentrifiers at one point and I'm still stuck on that because it was named after to you.

[Turner Sparks]

There's still the gentrifiers.

[Phil Duckett]

There will always be the gentrifiers to me from now on. So. But I, I, I thought that was cool.

[Turner Sparks]

As we will soon be getting you in a Masha Very soon. I want to start I by next episode. I'm going to have a few options for punk concerts to go to because we got to start planning now. We got to get you gear, we got to get you shirts, whatever. Like to put on your brass knuckles? No, they put X's on their hands. Do you know what that is? Have you ever seen that?

[Phil Duckett]

No.

[Turner Sparks]

This is like the real. You ever heard of straight edge razors?

[Phil Duckett]

So I've heard of a buck 50 where you take the razor and slice somebody's cheek open. It falls.

[Turner Sparks]

So there's like. No, no, no, this isn't violence based. Oh, no, it kind of is. But there. So there's like a. A portion of. Of the punk community that's just like buck wild. Right. And like fun party, go nuts. And then there's a portion that they call themselves straight edge, which means they don't drink alcohol or do drugs, but then they try to go fight anyone that does and they put X's on their hands.

[Phil Duckett]

Meaning I'm going to beat your ass because you like to have fun.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, I'm going to.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, are you going to go after them?

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, I'm a curb stomp. You sober little bitch. Don't you ever come over here trying to impede on my fun. Yeah, I'm with that.

[Turner Sparks]

And then do you know there's two different kinds of skinheads?

[Phil Duckett]

I don't want to go nowhere. No skinheads.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, you won't. Don't worry. There won't be any.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm like, you're taking me to somewhere where their skinheads. Neo Nazis.

[Turner Sparks]

No, so there's. There's the. There are those. Obviously those exist on planet Earth. That's what I'm saying.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, yeah, but they go to the punk concert.

[Turner Sparks]

No, the punk ones are the anti racist skinheads. They call themselves Sharps. Skinheads against racial Prejudice.

[Phil Duckett]

This is all sounding real lgbtq.

[Turner Sparks]

There's a version of that.

[Phil Duckett]

They're Sharps. They're bears.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

There's Twinks.

[Turner Sparks]

And it comes from like 70s England when, like Jamaican music mixed with punk music.

[Phil Duckett]

Y'all took Jamaican music?

[Turner Sparks]

No, it literally. Black people are part of this community as well.

[Phil Duckett]

They're black punkers.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, now I got to see it. That's news to me.

[Turner Sparks]

I didn't know black skinhead that are. They are part of that group. You know what I mean? Yeah. And they go around and try to find racist ones and fight them. But it's really confusing when you're at the show because they look very similar. Everybody looks similar.

[Phil Duckett]

So when we go to this punk concert, I want a T shirt, but I want you to put a confederate flag on the back and a swastika on the front and let's see who comes after.

[Turner Sparks]

Everyone will.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, then let it be a fight.

[Turner Sparks]

They're like very left wing.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, well, we'll fight to the death. 38 people in, one person out.

[Joe Russell]

When I was in ninth grade, my locker guy next to me. Locker mate. Is that what you call the guy next to you?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

He was like one of those anti racist skinheads.

[Turner Sparks]

See, they exist.

[Joe Russell]

So he had a bald head. He had like suspenders.

[Turner Sparks]

Yep.

[Joe Russell]

And then like boots. Jeans and boots.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, Doc Martens.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, Doc Martens.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

And he would clobber. He would close my locker with his head for me. I'd be like, hey, man, can you close my locker? And he would just smash his head against my.

[Turner Sparks]

Good at headbutting.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

I love to see the follow up on this group. How many CTE patients? Nine of them killed their girlfriends. Nine of them just brutally murdered their spouse.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, they were like the ch. Like the plaid shirt tucked.

[Joe Russell]

And I asked him once, I was like, hey, man, you're not like a Nazi or anything. Like, that's what people are saying. He's like, oh, no, no, no, I'm not into that shit. I was like, I just left it at that. I was like, all right, I'm not in that weirdo.

[Phil Duckett]

And then he slams his face.

[Turner Sparks]

But these people, these anti racist, they got a real uphill battle in society because no one's ever heard of him. So you see a guy like that, you just think he's a Nazi skinhead and he's got to explain a whole culture. He's like, no, I want to England in Jamaica. And like, it takes too long. By the time he gets halfway through the topic, he's getting his ass kicked already.

[Phil Duckett]

Of course.

[Turner Sparks]

You know what I mean? No one's waiting to hear this.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, you're guilty until proven innocent.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, they'll be there. So that's going to be soon, Joe. And Joe the Muscle Russell is going to be there filming the whole thing and we're going to release it exclusively to our Patreon subscribers.

[Joe Russell]

That's right.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm kind of nervous about going somewhere with skinheads.

[Turner Sparks]

It's going to be exciting.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm definitely bringing brass knuckles.

[Turner Sparks]

It's going to be exciting. If you. I'm telling you, if you wear like a Confederate flag and a Nazi thing.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, there's going to be a problem.

[Turner Sparks]

Although you're black.

[Phil Duckett]

That's what I'm like. They're like, oh, he's one of the good ones.

[Turner Sparks]

They're not going to.

[Phil Duckett]

This is everything I hate. I just put like a.

[Turner Sparks]

They're not gonna figure out what to do with you.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm like, come on.

[Joe Russell]

After we hang out, the skinheads, we go get potato skins. Just keep it all. Just keep it a skin night. You go to TGI Fridays.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, they do have good potato skins.

[Turner Sparks]

Tj, right?

[Phil Duckett]

Eyes with the Jack Daniels ribs.

[Joe Russell]

They invented them.

[Turner Sparks]

One of the best days of my life was. It was. I've said before, it was when I could touch the bottom of the rim. Right. That was the best day of my high school life. Best day in my adult life was when I was living in this town in China. Like, you know, no, nothing. There's no foreign products of anything anywhere. And then a TGI Fridays opened in town.

[Phil Duckett]

You were there every weekend.

[Turner Sparks]

Everyone I knew, all my. All my, like, American friends, we just were there. Yeah. The three for all with the.

[Phil Duckett]

How do you eat the ribs with chopsticks?

[Turner Sparks]

They know. They had. They had. It was like walking into a little America.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, I don't know.

[Turner Sparks]

And they still had the flair. It was all Chinese staff.

[Phil Duckett]

Gotcha.

[Turner Sparks]

But they had the suspenders, the 37 pieces of flair. Yeah. The whole thing. It was fantastic. So I always have a place in my heart for tg.

[Phil Duckett]

I just thought about somebody trying to pick up a rack with some sticks.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm sure they offered the chopstick option for Chinese people who didn't know how to use a fork and a knife, you know?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, that's true.

[Turner Sparks]

I guess.

[Joe Russell]

So anyways, Friday is going bankrupt now, so it's gone way downhill.

[Turner Sparks]

Are they done?

[Joe Russell]

They're going bankrupt.

[Phil Duckett]

That doesn't mean they're done. Red Lobster went bankrupt. They still here?

[Turner Sparks]

Donald Trump went bankrupt. Like 15.

[Phil Duckett]

They don't have to close a couple of locations, but they'll be. I.

[Joe Russell]

Do you know why Red Lobster went bankrupt?

[Phil Duckett]

Unlimited shrimp. Yeah. Took them out of business. Unlimited shrimp. Finally caught up with them.

[Turner Sparks]

People ate them out of business, the.

[Phil Duckett]

Fuck out of them.

[Turner Sparks]

That's how you know we're too fat in America.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. First of all, shrimp's an expensive thing in general. So for you to have, offer unlimited. I don't care how low the quality is. That's going to catch up with.

[Turner Sparks]

Not a smart idea. But when you can eat a company out of business, we need a national diet.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. You don't hear of that happening anywhere else.

[Joe Russell]

This is my black and white advice question. Why do black people love Red Lobster?

[Phil Duckett]

First of all, what's not to love? All right, The. The. The. But the cheddar butter biscuits. Number one I'mma go to for the biscuits. They can. They can stop serving all the seafood. And they was like, we just got unlimited biscuits. I'm going stop in.

[Joe Russell]

Fair enough.

[Phil Duckett]

But then black people, we love most of us, unless you like, allergic. But for the most part, most black beyond. We love seafood. Like some crab legs. Black. I know. I knew black people over Covid was spending a whole stimulus check on crab legs. Like a week they was having full blown seafood seafood boils.

[Joe Russell]

Why did I think of that?

[Phil Duckett]

I mean, it was going crazy. So I remember those. Those are crazy times, people. Just. Just salmon scallops. I want 30 pounds of fudgeing crab legs. I'm like, that's like $700.

[Turner Sparks]

Doesn't everybody love crab legs?

[Phil Duckett]

I mean, I'm sure boil. I'm sure. But I'm not like in our community, like, how we do it, like, it's like a thing. Like we really, really.

[Turner Sparks]

There's a place right across the street, a seafood boil place.

[Phil Duckett]

Is it called the boil?

[Turner Sparks]

It might be. It's packed like every weekend. I would say 90% black people. Yeah, but I didn't know that was a thing.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. You just thought until I lived in.

[Turner Sparks]

This neighborhood, I just thought everyone likes seafood.

[Phil Duckett]

I mean, everybody does. Like se. But we like crab legs and stuff.

[Turner Sparks]

Like, where you get the gloves?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, you ain't got to give us the gloves. We still going to them up. But yeah, they get the gloves. Seafood boils, like our kind. And then it comes love language.

[Turner Sparks]

That like boiling hot plastic bag.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Oh, so good with the corn, the potatoes. Yeah, that's our love. Like, like you want to imp. Like a chick on a date and she likes seafood. You take her to a seafood red lobster. That's like, you know, that's really where you take your hood chick. Yeah, I mean, like, it really is. Like, that's where you're gonna take your low class eater. You know, I mean, it's like good fellas. Yeah, you. That's Friday nights where your guma goes. Saturday your main thing goes to the seafood boil. She's gonna get the money spent on her.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, we got. We got a hate mail. And we've been saying we've been teasing this for a very long time on this show that at some point, most shows will ignore. Ignore their haters. We embrace our haters. Not only do we embrace them, we're going to respond to them.

[Phil Duckett]

I want their names and addresses.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, I got it all.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

I don't have addresses. But we can make them up.

[Phil Duckett]

I want their IP address.

[Turner Sparks]

134-67-839. All right, so these are. You send us in Hate. You're going to get a response from us right now. We. I don't deal with it nicely. I don't. I'm not somebody who can just.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't know if you guys notice under our post, if it gets too crazy, I'll talk shit back. I'm not.

[Turner Sparks]

I talk shit back.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I'm.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, these people say they don't read the comments, not us.

[Phil Duckett]

And I hate that I read the comments because the bigger we get, the more you're not going to be able to read the comments because it'll just wear you down. Yeah, it's going to be that much negativity. That's how you know your shit's good.

[Turner Sparks]

So for now.

[Phil Duckett]

But for now, we can do it. But they'll come a point where I'm just. I'm not even gonna acknowledge that.

[Turner Sparks]

You know, I mean, I'll check out at some point, and then we'll just have Joe find us hate.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, let him read all the draining things.

[Joe Russell]

No problem, guys.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, so first. First piece of hate mail. This one is from the black. When we were trying to figure out, should you say black, African American, or person of color, someone wrote in and they said, how should Phil be addressed? Black, African American, person of color, someone named April. Who's. Do you know this person? Oh, really?

[Phil Duckett]

Well, that makes sense. I was like, well, that. Whatever is going to be said, I.

[Turner Sparks]

Don'T believe this was a black person, but I'm not 100% sure.

[Phil Duckett]

White lady from Georgia.

[Joe Russell]

Should we be saying these people's names?

[Phil Duckett]

Probably not.

[Joe Russell]

Maybe not their first names.

[Turner Sparks]

Should I just say the first name?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, just say.

[Turner Sparks]

Where do you want me to start? Just.

[Joe Russell]

Just say this one's from April.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Joe Russell]

You know, I'll just beep that one out. But in the future, let's just do first.

[Turner Sparks]

I mean, listen, they. Their full names on Instagram. It's.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't want people to lose their careers, no matter how menial they may be.

[Turner Sparks]

So she says, why must color be referenced when speaking about anyone?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. And that is like some ignorant white shit to say.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

That's the dumbest fucking question ever. If I'm being on. And Rachel's. I mean, April's a nice lady. She's a sweet lady.

[Turner Sparks]

Don't worry. We didn't say her last name.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay, so April's a sweet lady. So, you know, it's not like I have no animosity toward her. We've had drinks when I'm in Atlanta, she knows my sister had drinks. Cool lady. And only people I feel like who are just so in their own bubble.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

Say shit like that. Why must race coming apart everything? As if we don't live in the United States of America where race is literally the backbone of this nation.

[Turner Sparks]

It's also we're in a country with everyone. We have a lot of different races.

[Phil Duckett]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

It's like it's easy to. Most countries in the world just have whatever race that country is. If you're in Cambodia, it's all Cambodians. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

There's not like America has a good percentage of black people, white people, Hispanic people, Asian people. Everybody's mixed together.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, okay. Got you. Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

So race is just a part of our country in a way. It's not a part of most countries. But you can live in communities in America where there's no.

[Phil Duckett]

And also what people fail to realize is America is still a baby in the grand scheme of things. So we ain't so far out of the racist time where it's something to be forgotten. About England, Yeah, they've been around since the year nine, so yeah, they've gotten way more comfortable with black people, they white women. Because they've seen it for thousands of years. We are like a 400 year old nation.

[Turner Sparks]

I don't even know if they're that comfortable with it. I don't think they were too fired.

[Phil Duckett]

Up about Megan Interracial in the UK and interracial is not like a major. Nobody thinks about that shit. They, they just who they fuck, you know, I mean, it's not like here where it's like stripes and spots don't mix, you know, that's where I'm from. In the south. In the uk, you don't really get a lot of that. I mean you'll get class level racism like based off, you know.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh yeah. People always say, what class?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Are you, are you middle class? Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

What they call that cockney. Like those people are like, look down upon is like.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

And you want to see like someone from the Royal Family mixing in. But when it comes to like color and shit, like, they don't really trip too crazy about the colors mixing in Europe, you know, I mean that is still a major thing even here for us. It's. You see interracial now in America more than you've ever seen it. And people still gonna talk shit, you know, I mean, even though you see it, it's still different.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Although there's two. There's two Americas. Right. Like, there's the America that if you're interracially, like, they love that. Like, oh, my God, look at them. That's so great.

[Phil Duckett]

And then there's the Northeast America in.

[Turner Sparks]

The west, like west coast stuff. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're saying.

[Phil Duckett]

Anywhere where gay shit is, like, completely allowed and people say be free, they'll allow. Interracial.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

But anywhere they're uncomfortable with gay. They definitely don't want you mixing with they women neither.

[Turner Sparks]

It's either celebrated or it's the exact opposite. But it's not normal.

[Phil Duckett]

Either they celebrate everything or they celebrate nothing.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. The other thing. Her question is because the question was, do we call someone like, Phil. Black, African American person.

[Phil Duckett]

Just call me a real mother. She's like, when you see me, why.

[Turner Sparks]

Do you have to reference any. Any color when speaking about somebody? It's just descriptive.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

You're allowed to describe people.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Do they not ask you to check what box on the damn sheet or what race are you? Well, I mean, that's a dumb question.

[Turner Sparks]

All right.

[Phil Duckett]

But thank you, April.

[Turner Sparks]

Thanks, April. Letting us know we love you.

[Phil Duckett]

You're a Republican from Georgia.

[Turner Sparks]

Here we go. Next one. This is Applaud a P. P. Lon. Do you know this person?

[Phil Duckett]

Aplon. Do not.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay. This is in reference to me. Oh, no. The qu. When you asked, do white people. Do I. You said, do you wash your legs and feet or are you dirty like other white people?

[Phil Duckett]

I don't. I don't remember saying it like that. I don't remember.

[Turner Sparks]

Like, what are they? Tracy and Taylor Swift and whatever.

[Phil Duckett]

Boyfriend. Dirty like other white people is funny as hell. Might have been insinuated, but never said it.

[Turner Sparks]

So she said. So I. My answer to you is, yes, I do wash my legs. And I was surprised to hear that other people don't. Aplon says Turner doesn't wash his legs or feet either. He just said he did because he wants to. He didn't want to be with the masses. Here's okay. And then I went to her. Her page.

[Phil Duckett]

Nice.

[Turner Sparks]

Because I'm a real, you know.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Sob. And she said it says her description of herself. I'm a Christian, I'm a veteran, and I'm a supporter of positivity. Not very positive. Just talking shit about somebody on an. On a. On an Instagram clip.

[Phil Duckett]

Aplon, she could sense your dirty fucking leg.

[Turner Sparks]

No, here's the other thing. Here's what I want to say. If I did, if I didn't watch, it would be funnier for me to be like, this show is a comedy show. It would be funnier for me to say, oh, yeah, no, I don't either. That's. But my natural reaction was I was shocked. I never heard that. Anyone doesn't.

[Phil Duckett]

And then you saw how many people respond to that. You were like, wow, my people are in the dark.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Most people in the responses were like, oh, no, I don't. I don't do that either. I don't wash my feet.

[Phil Duckett]

Darkness. You hear me? That level of nasty.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm not going to lie to look cool on this show. If anything, I'll lie the other way to try to get the show going a little bit.

[Phil Duckett]

Gotcha.

[Turner Sparks]

You know, I'm saying I believe you.

[Phil Duckett]

Wash your legs because I would have known you'd have had a little hint.

[Turner Sparks]

You could smell it coming away.

[Phil Duckett]

You had a little tank twang to. Y'all just melt it.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. All right. So anyway, last one. This is from Robert. I'm not supposed to say his last name. This is also what the white people washing their legs on Robert says with all the serious things going on and this show is the nonsense people are attracted to. Yes, it is. Robert.

[Phil Duckett]

Robert. Damn right. All right. Because we have an inauguration coming soon. Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

It's already come.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay. Oh, okay.

[Turner Sparks]

That's how fast these things hit us.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay. So it's already happened. You think we're not going to talk about shit that makes people take their mind off the mess that we're in? I mean, because we're over here. We got real fucking fires that just decimated California. We got immigrants who are about to get deported who have been working here for the last 10 years and do great work. And they might be shipping me back to Africa along with my counterparts.

[Turner Sparks]

He's going back to Africa.

[Phil Duckett]

Maybe. I don't know what your boy Trump has planned, but I know. Hey, but I know we're going to name it the Gulf of America. So, you know.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

We like to take our mind off things. Yeah. With these funny fucking questions. Maybe you get the dildo out your ass and have some fun with us.

[Turner Sparks]

This isn't the year 2020. Not everything has to be serious. Right? We get. We're allowed to have fun again. Comedy is allowed to be fun again.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. We can say whatever we want to say. And we let you say whatever you want to say and we acknowledge your ignorance.

[Turner Sparks]

Somebody was just saying to me, they were like, oh, like you wouldn't have been able to make. I was talking about like curb your enthusiasm with somebody. And they're like, oh, that joke he made, that was 15 years ago. He wouldn't be able to make that joke now. And it was about like women who. In his office who has like a bare mid drift but isn't in shape. So it's like a flabby bare mid drift.

[Phil Duckett]

I do not remember that, but I'm sure that was.

[Turner Sparks]

And he's sitting there and he's like, this is. I think you need a certain level of sit ups to wear a shirt like that. And my friend was like, oh, he couldn't make that today. I'm like, I think he could. I think we're actually past the politically correct world of comedy. All right, that's it. We'll be back, everybody, with your black and white advice questions.

[D]

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[Turner Sparks]

Hey, you want to get bonus content, early episodes and have your questions answered on the show?

[Phil Duckett]

Well, then subscribe to our [e-mail] blackandwhitedvice and subscribe right now.

[Turner Sparks]

Do it and we'll give you a shout out on a future episode.

[Phil Duckett]

And I might call you the nw.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, we're back with your black and white advice questions. First question, Phil, this is directly for you. This is from Drew in Detroit who writes in a lot. He looked at one of the clips. On one of the clips, you say something about being dog walked. Oh, in the DEI training clip. Right. And you say that. I don't know the. You use the term dog walked. He wants to know what does dog walked mean?

[Phil Duckett]

Wow, that's pretty white. I mean, I kind of thought you use your context clues. Like if you whooping somebody's ass and you dog walking them. What is a. What do you. When you walk your dog, what are you? You're the owner. Yeah. You're my bitch and I'm the master.

[Turner Sparks]

Not a common term. I've only heard it from you.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I mean, it's pretty common in our community.

[Turner Sparks]

Is it?

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, because I looked it up on Google because I was making a clip and I Couldn't find it.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. I mean, that slang from Michelle Urban Dictionary is made by white people so they can understand us. So y'all just. Haven't we create all new slang all the time to keep you.

[Turner Sparks]

I gotta tell you, he, like, he enjoyed the term.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, it's a good term.

[Turner Sparks]

He really didn't know what it meant. It works.

[Phil Duckett]

It works. But, yeah, you guys just haven't picked up on it. It'll be in next year's edition probably.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, nice.

[Joe Russell]

If it comes from white people, white people steal. That term. It's gonna mean something completely different. It means like you take little guy for a walk and then you clean their poop up, and it's gonna be like you. It's gonna be like you pamper him.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, yeah. That's why y'all shouldn't steal our.

[Turner Sparks]

Maybe like an S M thing.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

He was like, oh, my God, the man.

[Phil Duckett]

Are you gonna dog walk me?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Like, shut up, Connor. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, here we go. This is Teresa in Houston, Texas.

[Phil Duckett]

HTown.

[Turner Sparks]

She says I'm a Latina and pretty attracted to white guys. Unfortunate, my friend. I think it's great. My friend at work said if I want to date white guys, I need to start watching sci fi movies. What else should I know about to keep up with white guys on a date?

[Phil Duckett]

Is that like y'all's thing? I'm big and they're like sci fi.

[Turner Sparks]

I didn't actually. I do not like sci fi movies. But I think, yes, I think it's a thing because everyone I know is everyone's.

[Phil Duckett]

I mean, the new Star Treks are good. I didn't really get into the old Star Treks as a kid.

[Turner Sparks]

I've never gotten into any of them.

[Phil Duckett]

But growing up, my dad was a really big Star wars guy. So as a kid, that was like our mood. Me and my dad, that was like our thing.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

I've. What? My dad used to quote Star wars to me. I'm like, impressive. Most impressive. But you are not a Jedi yet. Like, I still, you know, I mean, like, so Han Solo, Obi Wan, Jabba the Hut. Like, I remember those. I don't even. Matter of fact, I don't even watch the new Star wars. Is. I don't know anything about in the characters, but yeah, that was my thing. I really liked Star Wars.

[Turner Sparks]

I tapped out at Jar Jar Binks.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, me Jar Jarvi. That was in, like, the end for me.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

That was when they first. Like when Darth Maul came to the scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And also became. I mean, I honestly was never that into him to begin with. I just missed it. My age group, I think. Missed it.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

I was after the original three, but way before I was already like a senior in High School 2002 when those next three. I was in college. So, like, you're not going to get into Star Wars.

[Phil Duckett]

Exactly. And I missed it too. So it wasn't for my dad. Dad wasn't such a big fan because they came out when he was in college.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

And he told me, he's like, man, at the time when this came out, we had never seen special effects like that in our entire life. It was one of the craziest things we'd ever seen.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

So he. All those are his favorite movies. So I'd watch all of them. Yeah, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

My brother was a little kid then. Yeah. White people do love sci fi. Do black people like sci fi?

[Phil Duckett]

I don't, I don't want to speak for the entire race. I know I do. I mean like Back to the future.

[Turner Sparks]

Is Back to the future sci fi. I thought sci fi had to be.

[Phil Duckett]

It has to be. It's not real. They went back to the in time.

[Turner Sparks]

In my head, Sci fi is. There's like aliens involved. Or maybe it's like a guy like on Star Trek. Like a weird shaped head predator, things like that. A different planet.

[Phil Duckett]

Got you. Do you think because of the planet? No, it just has to be science fiction.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, well then I like sci fi.

[Phil Duckett]

That a boy.

[Turner Sparks]

Now you on board, Back to the Future?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Marty McFly, Chuck Berry.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, man.

[Turner Sparks]

See, anyway, here's the things you need to know about white people if you want to go on a date with them. I made a list. Long distance running, very into. Meaning like you're training for it. Just tell them you're training for a triathlon.

[Phil Duckett]

Have you seen that though? Especially New York City people like, running clubs are like the new big thing.

[Turner Sparks]

I know a guy, he has a new girl. I just hung out with a friend and he's like, oh yeah, I got this new girlfriend. We met at our running club. She was pretty.

[Phil Duckett]

How do you get to know people? I don't know about y'all. Like, I can't talk when I run. I cannot talk.

[Turner Sparks]

Matter of fact, how's it going?

[Phil Duckett]

If you want to get cussed out, talk to me on a long ass run.

[Turner Sparks]

Agreed.

[Phil Duckett]

I need all my oxygen for this nine mile.

[Turner Sparks]

Agreed. I run. I run. Not a lot, but like, you know, five, three, five miles, something like that.

[Phil Duckett]

And everyone that's a lot of running Turner.

[Turner Sparks]

Every once in a while somebody will be like, oh, I'll run with you. I'm like, no, thank you.

[Phil Duckett]

No, no, no. I have earphones.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah. I'm listening to a podcast. Yeah, I'm listening to myself.

[Phil Duckett]

I could just laugh at us. I see you just full blown sprinting to yourself. Like, that was so funny.

[Turner Sparks]

Trying to get our plays up. Trying to get us more money on Spotify. And I listen. Yeah, if you try to like, hey, how's it going? What have you been up to recently? I'm like, shut up. Get away from me. Anyway, this guy I know apparently just completely hit on a girl successfully, and now he's been dating her for four months based off of her running club. But he said, he goes, listen, I'll tell you this. It's a good way if you. If you date exclusively in running clubs. You know, they're in shape.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. If that's what you're looking for. I need a little more jiggle in my jam.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay. Yeah. Well, maybe you go short distance running clubs. Yeah, run. Just.

[Phil Duckett]

I think I'd probably meet my, like, like, like I'd meet a good woman. Like a burger club. Someone go around the city trying different burger spots.

[Turner Sparks]

To each his own. Potato, potato. Anyway, long distance running. So tell me, training for a marathon or half marathon or whatever. Micro bruise. I think white guys are really into micro bruise.

[Phil Duckett]

CrossFit.

[Turner Sparks]

CrossFit.

[Phil Duckett]

That's a place.

[Turner Sparks]

CrossFit's a good one. And in any shows on NPR, NPR, national public. So, like this American Life. Do you know that podcast, how do.

[Phil Duckett]

You meet people listening to a podcast?

[Turner Sparks]

No, no, she's saying, what do I do when on a date, what do I bring up topics? You go, oh, I was just listening to npr.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, if he's a square white dude, then bring up npr. You know, you got it also depends.

[Turner Sparks]

On all white people listen.

[Phil Duckett]

No, no. I bet if he feel from Chico. I bet if it's Chet Hanks, he doesn't listen to npr. That's what I'm saying. You got to know what type of white boy you're dealing with. It's Paul Wall. You think he's listening to npr? No, you talk about his grill. Smile for me, dad. You know, I mean, like, you got to, like, relate to him. We don't know what type. She's in Houston.

[Turner Sparks]

So she says, I'm into white guys. You think she's talking about Chet Hanks and Paul Wall?

[Phil Duckett]

They're both white. Now you're. Now you're judging people's whiteness. Let's go on you.

[Turner Sparks]

Let's be honest.

[Phil Duckett]

So they're not white enough for you.

[Turner Sparks]

That's not what she's talking about.

[Phil Duckett]

Just saying.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay. I could be wrong.

[Phil Duckett]

We don't know what type of white.

[Turner Sparks]

Sorry.

[Phil Duckett]

Rob Dyrdek. What was she talking about? Rob Dyrdek. You think he's listening?

[Turner Sparks]

I'll give her new advice. Bone up on ludicrous. And I don't know what.

[Phil Duckett]

He's being a dickhead. No, bring up cheese. Bring up flip flops. Bring up sperries.

[Turner Sparks]

What are sperries?

[Phil Duckett]

Turner, don't play fucking coy with me.

[Turner Sparks]

Do you know what sperries are, Joe?

[Joe Russell]

Sperries.

[Turner Sparks]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Phil Duckett]

The boat shoes.

[Joe Russell]

Is that they're called.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, that's the brand.

[Joe Russell]

Phil, that's the weirdest thing you've ever said. You know the name better than I.

[Phil Duckett]

You wear them.

[Turner Sparks]

I've never. I never. I would say that jokingly, actually. I've never heard of the brand.

[Phil Duckett]

Phil.

[Joe Russell]

Do black people wear penny loafers?

[Phil Duckett]

Certain ones.

[Joe Russell]

Okay.

[Phil Duckett]

Ivy League guys.

[Joe Russell]

Okay.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. I'm not. Aren't you the fucking moron who told me the reason they call them penny loafers because I used to put a penny.

[Turner Sparks]

I thought that was true.

[Joe Russell]

No, it is true.

[Turner Sparks]

I stood corrected.

[Joe Russell]

Oh, we looked it up.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, we got it on White Lies and Dark.

[Phil Duckett]

It was true.

[Turner Sparks]

I was. I was. I'll be honest, I was making that up. But I guess I nailed it.

[Joe Russell]

I think it's enough money. I guess, like a phone call used to cost that. I don't remember. I'll look it up. For the.

[Phil Duckett]

For the penny loafers. I remember. Like, that's some bullshit. Maybe.

[Turner Sparks]

Next question.

[Joe Russell]

Oh, one thing. One more thing. That white people, like white dudes, love BJ's.

[Phil Duckett]

I think that's a universal. I feel like that's a universal pleasure.

[Turner Sparks]

I think if you're in the Taliban, you, like.

[Joe Russell]

If you really want to impress this guy, literally everyone.

[Turner Sparks]

The furthest thing from a white guy.

[Phil Duckett]

Really want to impress him. Bj. Yeah. You're going to impress everybody in that room.

[Joe Russell]

You got to know nothing about Star Wars.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. I was like, that'll definitely send the message for sure.

[Turner Sparks]

If he's wearing. What are they called? Skinnies.

[Phil Duckett]

What are the spare.

[Turner Sparks]

He's wearing Sperries or not one way or the. You're covered.

[Phil Duckett]

If he's wearing sperries and some docker khaki shorts, he's definitely going to love that bj. Because, you know, I think southern white.

[Turner Sparks]

Guys are their own thing. I think that's the what we're.

[Phil Duckett]

And that's. And that's what it is. That's what I know.

[Turner Sparks]

That's what I grew up on, South Carolina. White Sperry's is its own world.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. You're from California, level above. Yeah. You're a lot of tie dye.

[Turner Sparks]

We're rainbow flip flops.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, that's what it is.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Yeah. All right, next question. This is from Dom in Brooklyn, but he's actually from Australia, lives in Brooklyn and he's a Patreon subscriber. What's up, Dom? Love you. Dom said. And if you're a Patreon subscriber, by the way, your question gets answered on the show. Yeah, 100%. 100% of the time your question gets answered on the show. Patreon.com black we have 3,000 of them.

[Phil Duckett]

We'll answer every single.

[Turner Sparks]

We'll get to them. We will get to them. In one episode, Dom in Brooklyn from Australia. He says, why can black people look so much better wearing more colorful clothes than white people?

[Phil Duckett]

I don't think that's true. I think it's all about the swagger. I think it's the person. Person to person case.

[Turner Sparks]

I think white. I think skin tone might matter. Right? White guys don't look as good. Yeah, I don't. There's just something to it. There's no contrast.

[Phil Duckett]

Maybe I just think y'all ain't got that much style. So, like, if y'all. If somebody put it together for you would wear it, like, wow, it looks really cool. But y'all don't have that much style. A lot of y'all. So you get all self conscious about. You're like, what if I look stupid when I don't really. I don't really think about that. I'm like, I'm like, who gives a fudge? I'm fly. Shit.

[Turner Sparks]

Why don't. What if I look stupid? Is. Is constantly running through.

[Phil Duckett]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

Meanwhile, I'm like, people's brains.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm like, yeah, people are going to talk shit whether you look stupid or not. So why not wear what you like?

[Turner Sparks]

That's confidence.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Do you know Clyde Frazier, the voice of the New York Knicks?

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, I'm like, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm like, you're playing for the Knicks in the seventies.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, He.

[Turner Sparks]

Walt.

[Phil Duckett]

Sorry, that's on my clue.

[Turner Sparks]

Am I thinking of. Tried somebody else? Anyway, Walt Frazier. Walt Frazier wears the. He wears the big hat and like the super colorful suit.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, that's different.

[Turner Sparks]

He looks amazing.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, but you know who. But a white dude used to do the same thing. Rest in peace. Craig Sager, man, he was flying. In a matter of fact, even KG used to be like, look at you. And he knew he put that on. Craig Sager could dress his ass off.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

So it ain't about white. It's about confidence.

[Turner Sparks]

It's not about race at all. All right, Dom, good luck. Next question. We're cranking through them today. This is from. Oh, another Patreon subscriber tug, Tugboat Tug in Utah. Original Patreon subscriber, Mr. Super Soaker. He says, I was walking through home goods in Utah, and as you'd expect, there's a lot of black Santa decorations.

[Phil Duckett]

And as expected.

[Turner Sparks]

No, let me finish.

[Phil Duckett]

As expected.

[Turner Sparks]

That are in the clearance bin.

[Phil Duckett]

Now. That was the part I was expecting.

[Turner Sparks]

Kind of let the.

[Phil Duckett]

As expected. I'm like, is it.

[Turner Sparks]

I like how they try it in Utah, though. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. They were like, we. We're gonna try maybe this year. Maybe this year. We had an influx of brothers.

[Turner Sparks]

Corporate sends them to all, no matter what. So you're in Baltimore or you're in Provo.

[Phil Duckett]

30 black Santas in Utah, and they.

[Turner Sparks]

Go, listen, we just gotta give it a shot.

[Phil Duckett]

I mean, and they can't give them away. This could be the year they literally went from $5 to.

[Joe Russell]

You actually get a tax credit if you put a black Santa on your lawn.

[Phil Duckett]

Just keep it up for a couple hours.

[Turner Sparks]

It's as close as they get to, like, the Black Lives Matter banner. It's just, give us taking a free black Santa. Anyway, he says, it had me wondering how historical figures like Jesus and Santa are portrayed in the homes of multiracial families. So now where my wife and I are both white, we default to using a white Santa. And we're not religious, so we don't have Jesus at all. But if we did, we. I probably feel like we would use. We would feel over. Like we were over compensating. If I were to use an olive skin. Jesus says, the question is whether this is even thought of for you and your wife. That's for me. Or other. Other. Or I guess it could be for either one of us or other couples. Multiracial. Yeah. Personally, why is that a topic that comes up?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, it's always a topic coming. There ain't gonna be no white Jesus in my house.

[Turner Sparks]

No white Jesus. What about Santa?

[Phil Duckett]

Santa? I mean, we're gonna do black Santas, but if we see A white Santa. It's understood. But in our house, we got black Santas everywhere. Even though we know.

[Turner Sparks]

I love that.

[Phil Duckett]

Even though we know Tanner would be a white dude. Yeah. I mean. Cause anytime a black dude would come down somebody's chimney unannounced, he'd be killed. So definitely gotta be a white man. But when it comes to Jesus, I hate seeing white Jesus because I don't think Jesus was black, but he damn sure wasn't white with blue eyes. You ain't seen a blonde hair white man in Jerusalem to this day. They all have darker skin. That is the. That is the Middle East.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, the Jews.

[Phil Duckett]

The Jews that built the pyramids didn't look like Larry David. They look.

[Turner Sparks]

The ones that are in Jerusalem today.

[Phil Duckett]

Today don't matter. We're talking about back then, there were no white people with blonde eyes.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

So Jesus was not blonde hair, blue eyes. So. But guess, just like every crusader who came in and raped and pillaged and told everybody had to be Christian, they made Jesus white because it looked like who they were. And people going, people gonna make. Portray Jesus based off who they are, whatever they are. Yeah, that's how that goes.

[Turner Sparks]

So in your house, what color is Jesus?

[Phil Duckett]

Jesus always black. In my grandma's house, she's a black person. Yeah, he's a darker skinned guy. Now, in some places, I've seen, like, olive color with, like, hair and stuff like that. But yeah, but I don't get upset. Like, I'm not some lunatics. Like, you got a white Jesus in here? Like, no, I get it. That's what you do. But yeah, in our house, culturally, anybody, most people that are of color. Yeah, there's gonna be a black Jesus.

[Turner Sparks]

I will say we don't have a Chinese Jesus in our household because that was his question. What do you do in multiracial families?

[Phil Duckett]

But y'all got Confucius in there. We do have Confucius and my Buddha.

[Turner Sparks]

And he is hanging like this. We crucified Confucius in the other room.

[Phil Duckett]

To get more knowledge, I guess.

[Turner Sparks]

Jesus, he wouldn't be black or white. Right. Wouldn't he be Middle Eastern?

[Phil Duckett]

Right, exactly. But that's what I'm saying. It'd be a darker. Which, yeah, Egyptian is black in my book. So, yeah, we going black Jesus, North African. Yeah. Thank you.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, final question. This is from Peter in Brooklyn. Peter says, I went to a comedy show in Brooklyn and noticed the audience snapping instead of clapping when they liked the joke. He says, I looked it up and it turns out it comes from black culture and jazz music in the 1950s. But these were all white people at the show. Were either of you aware of this? And do you ever see people snapping at your jokes? Have you ever had that happen first?

[Phil Duckett]

I mean, I know exactly what they're talking about. I've never seen that done at a comedy show.

[Turner Sparks]

You haven't?

[Phil Duckett]

I've seen at poetry, like, spoken word, those type of deals.

[Turner Sparks]

You haven't done the extremely white comedy clubs.

[Phil Duckett]

I try to stay away from Brooklyn.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Why?

[Turner Sparks]

I don't know.

[Phil Duckett]

Secret society that. They can't be found. They don't want to be. What are they, Anne Frank, the are you snapping for?

[Turner Sparks]

Have you. Joe, have you seen this?

[Joe Russell]

That sounds like a poetry reading or something like that.

[Phil Duckett]

Spoken word there was like. So I walked through asunder, but my mother says I'm under, and they're like, pretty.

[Turner Sparks]

That actually would get me to say, yeah, I like that. Yeah. No, I'll say. I've seen it. Actually. I saw it years ago at the Lantern at one of my jokes, and then I've seen it. Super. Because sometimes the Lantern comedy club will get, like, NYU students, and they're very in the artsy side. Anyone in the art that fancies himself is, like an artistic person. Not anyone, but that. Those are the type of people who would snap at jokes instead of clap. I looked it up. I mean, I guess it does have to do. It's 1950, like, jazz music in the 40s and everything. But also then more recently, it's supposed to be. Clapping is, like, shocking to people with autism. With autism.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't care about that.

[Turner Sparks]

I know.

[Phil Duckett]

Why the. Are you out? If you're that bad off, you need to say the home.

[Turner Sparks]

So people who think of themselves as very pious, very, like, holier than thou nowadays. Oh, it's good. But I liked it. But I don't want to. I got mad at an audience member one time. I was like, please. I stopped and I was like. They were appreciating what I was doing, and I told them to never do that again.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. I mean, if your autism is so severe that clapping makes you want to, like, freak the out, you got to stay home.

[Turner Sparks]

Especially a comedy.

[Phil Duckett]

You live in New York City. What do you do with all the horns around here? Huh?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, exactly.

[Phil Duckett]

What are you doing?

[Turner Sparks]

And. And also, these people who were clapping at my thing, they weren't autistic. They were doing it in case.

[Phil Duckett]

So now we're just planning for somebody to be autistic somewhere?

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't think that's too inclusive for me.

[Turner Sparks]

If you're at. Okay. If you're like an 85 year old black man who played jazz music in the 1950s, do whatever you want.

[Phil Duckett]

I. Yeah, I, I beat heroin, so. My God, what are we talking about here?

[Turner Sparks]

That's before they knew heroin was bad, by the way.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, I just feel like it didn't take much. I feel like that's a quick learning curve.

[Turner Sparks]

That's a pretty quick learning curve. You like, you take it once, you go, well, this can't be good.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I'm ready to suck dick now to get more.

[Turner Sparks]

This must be bad news.

[Phil Duckett]

This must be bad.

[Turner Sparks]

But if you're anything except an 85 year old black man who used to play jazz music, do not snap at any of my jokes at any of my comedy shows. And that's also going back to. That's why I don't perform. Really? In Brooklyn.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, that's. That's too far.

[Turner Sparks]

Martin Urbano is getting snaps.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. No wonder. He's like, I'm a pellet. Competitive. I would too. Like, I all.

[Joe Russell]

You shouldn't they just be laughing, Right?

[Turner Sparks]

Laughing is ideal.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, right.

[Phil Duckett]

They act like every joke gets an applause break anyway. Like, what are you talking about? Your laughter might trigger somebody.

[Turner Sparks]

Have you ever had people, comedians tell you, they go, hey, at the end of your set, they go, hey, that was pretty. You got like three applause breaks.

[Phil Duckett]

I've had people tell me.

[Turner Sparks]

And I'm like, who counts applause?

[Phil Duckett]

I'm like, I don't really. I'm like, I pretty. I just knew they were laughing.

[Turner Sparks]

I would just like, laughs.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I like the laugh.

[Turner Sparks]

If they're, if they're laughing so hard, then they feel the need to clap. That's fine too. But yeah, I'm not like in my head going, there's one applause break. There's two applause breaks.

[Phil Duckett]

I've seen comedians who like force the applause break.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh.

[Phil Duckett]

And then they just lean into it, like, don't say anything. And look at you.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, that's.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. And I'm like, okay. He kind of made him.

[Turner Sparks]

I saw a guy one time and before he goes on, he goes. He was headlining. I was like featuring some terrible show, you know, in the Midwest at like, not the Midwest is bad, but this show was bad. It was like in a hotel lobby or something. Yeah. Some road hack. And he was like, you know, I've gotten like, what do you say? Like 413 straight standing ovations at the end of my show. And I'm like, oh, wow. I'm ready to watch this. And then he goes up. He does this whole hour, and at the very end, he goes, you know what, Everybody? I've gotten 413 straight standing ovations, and I know you're not gonna break that streak for me. So they all stood up and give him a standing ovation.

[Phil Duckett]

I would have been. I would have paid good money to walk around to everybody in that crowd. And $5, like, sit the up.

[Turner Sparks]

I was like, this guy's a genius.

[Phil Duckett]

Do not get up.

[Turner Sparks]

I wanted to start doing the exact same thing.

[Phil Duckett]

No, you don't turn it. I wouldn't even be able to talk to you if I saw that. I was like, don't ever talk to me again.

[Turner Sparks]

It's 414 now, baby. But he was so. The whole time, he was so, like, disgusted that he never had his break in Hollywood, he goes, I'm getting a standing ovation every show. This is before the show, people. Standing ovation. I can't get on Conan. I can't get on Kimmel. Standing ovations. And then I saw it happen.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. You're like, no, it makes sense. Yeah, it makes sense.

[Turner Sparks]

All right. White lies and dark truths. Joe Russell. This is the fact check part of the show.

[Joe Russell]

Yes.

[Turner Sparks]

What did we get right? What did we get wrong today? Let us know.

[Joe Russell]

All right, well, Back to the Future is definitely a sci fi movie because it has sci fi elements in the story, and they're also very critical to the story.

[Turner Sparks]

So sci fi just means it could be anything.

[Phil Duckett]

Has science. That's not real fiction.

[Turner Sparks]

It isn't happening on earth.

[Phil Duckett]

Fiction just means not real. It's not true.

[Turner Sparks]

Fiction means not real.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I'm learning.

[Joe Russell]

Science fiction has to have scientific elements to it. So it's not always just space, but it can be, you know, travel.

[Turner Sparks]

Look at you, Mr. Wikipedia.

[Phil Duckett]

No, no Wikipedia. It's called grad school.

[Turner Sparks]

Nailed it. I had no idea. I didn't. I thought you had to have aliens.

[Phil Duckett]

No.

[Turner Sparks]

Look at me learning.

[Joe Russell]

All right, on the penny loafers, which I think we've talked about this before.

[Phil Duckett]

We definitely have, but we got new listeners now, and they might not have listened to them, so.

[Joe Russell]

So the loafer design allowed back in the day, in the 30s, just enough space for a penny for in each shoe. The perfect hiding spot for a pay phone. But then, you know, the prices went up and it's, you know, you can't do anything for a penny now. Nothing's a penny.

[Turner Sparks]

Silver dollar.

[Phil Duckett]

Get a quarter loafer.

[Turner Sparks]

Sacagaw.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, man, that'd be sick.

[Joe Russell]

The next thing is. Oh. Scholars and archaeologists believe Jesus likely had brown skin, brown eyes, dark brown, black hair, similar to other people in Judea and Egypt at the time. And he may have been around 5 foot, 5 inches. So which is the average height?

[Turner Sparks]

Short king.

[Phil Duckett]

Short king.

[Joe Russell]

Short king of the Jews.

[Turner Sparks]

Jesus was a short king.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Also, I said Egypt. That's got to be a truth, then.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

We weren't lying. No, I said he was Egyptian.

[Phil Duckett]

That's fair. You got that point. That's nice.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, so I feel like we did pretty good.

[Joe Russell]

We did one last thing. The practice of snapping after performance is generally thought to originated in ancient Rome.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh.

[Joe Russell]

So it goes way back. Where audiences would express appreciation by snapping their fingers, waving their togas, or clapping with their palms.

[Turner Sparks]

So black people, culturally appropriated.

[Phil Duckett]

Don't you dare.

[Turner Sparks]

Fucking Italians. Don't you fucking look at that.

[Phil Duckett]

We never did.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, well. Wow. Well, well. L. I'm out. This chicken's coming home to roost.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm out of here.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, that's the show, everybody. Patreon subscribers, Tug, Fun, Kilo, the whole gang. Everybody else, stick around. We're gonna go straight to our Patreon show right now, by the way, next week. We gotta name this show. We need some name for this bonus overtime show. We'll come up with it next week. All right, that's it. Stay black.

[Phil Duckett]

You've got a question but you're scared to ask Just drop the boys a message. Cause they're up to the task they're rolling the dice they ain't always nice but you can't think twice and give it black and white advice. Black and white advice.

[D]

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