Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade with Chris Gethard

Summary

Blank Check with Griffin & David: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade with Chris Gethard Released on March 23, 2025

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Overview

In this episode of Blank Check with Griffin & David, hosted by Griffin Newman and David Sims, the duo delves into Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Steven Spielberg’s third installment in the iconic franchise. Joined by comedian and actor Chris Gethard, the hosts explore various facets of the film, from its promotional material and character dynamics to its place within Spielberg’s illustrious career.

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1. Movie Poster and Taglines

The discussion kicks off with an analysis of the movie’s promotional strategies, particularly focusing on the film’s taglines and poster imagery.

• Griffin Newman (00:25): Critiques one of the film’s taglines as “terrible” and “so stupid.”
• David Sims (02:16): Highlights the cleverness of the accepted tagline, “Have the adventure of your life, keeping up with the Joneses,” appreciating its nod to the father-son dynamic.

Notable Quote:

Griffin Newman (02:07): "I think they settled on a really nice tagline for the main poster, which is, 'Have the adventure of your life, keeping up with the Joneses.' I think that's a clever way to do the family thing."

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2. River Phoenix’s Portrayal

A significant portion of the conversation centers on River Phoenix’s role in the film, with Gethard expressing admiration for his performance.

• Chris Gethard (02:59): Describes River Phoenix as “so fucking good in this movie” and praises a particular sequence involving his character.

Notable Quote:

Chris Gethard (02:59): "I think River Phoenix is so fucking good in this movie and I love that sequence so fucking much."

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3. Box Office Performance

The hosts compare the film’s box office success to other blockbusters of the late '80s and early '90s, noting its impressive opening weekend records.

• Griffin Newman (12:00): Details how Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade broke opening weekend records, eventually being surpassed by major franchises like Harry Potter and Avengers Endgame.

Notable Quote:

Griffin Newman (12:24): "I think this was a year of sequels and comic books and also like the Little Mermaid. So, like, you know, that element rising again."

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4. Spielberg’s Career Context

The episode situates Last Crusade within Spielberg’s broader career trajectory, highlighting his shift from blockbuster adventures to more mature, introspective projects.

• David Sims (03:56): Reflects on Spielberg’s move towards films that offer deep emotional experiences, contrasting with his earlier, more action-oriented works.

Notable Quote:

David Sims (05:31): "I also have such a distinct memory that someone might correct me. Lord knows your fans will be the first ones to tell me if I'm right or wrong."

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5. Character Dynamics: Indiana and His Father

A core theme of the discussion is the complex relationship between Indiana Jones and his father, portrayed by Sean Connery.

• Chris Gethard (31:12): References Bilga Beery’s analysis of the film as a fulcrum in Spielberg’s career, shifting the narrative from a son's perspective to that of a father.
• David Sims (52:21): Shares personal reflections on father-son relationships, drawing parallels to the film's portrayal.

Notable Quote:

Chris Gethard (31:12): "Which is very interesting to me. And I think through that prism, this movie's relationship to sexuality is very interesting."

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6. Portrayal of Nazis and Thematic Elements

The hosts critique the film’s depiction of Nazi antagonists, noting a shift towards more cartoonish and less menacing villains compared to previous entries.

• Griffin Newman (35:53): Comments on the reduced menace of the Nazis in this installment.

Notable Quote:

Griffin Newman (35:53): "It does feel like Spielberg has run out of things to do with that sort of stuff. Like it's a little paint-by-numbers that they're so silly."

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7. Action Sequences and Spielberg’s Direction

The episode lauds Spielberg’s ability to craft memorable and inventive action set pieces, contrasting the depth of emotional storytelling with high-octane adventures.

• Chris Gethard (55:03): Praises Spielberg’s mastery in balancing character moments within elaborate action sequences.

Notable Quote:

Chris Gethard (55:03): "He knows how to calibrate how can you do Nazis in a movie where you're not dealing with the full weight and severity of what they did, but you're also not completely turning them into, like, silly bullshit."

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8. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

In wrapping up, the hosts affirm their appreciation for Last Crusade, acknowledging its strengths in action and character development while critiquing certain narrative choices.

• David Sims (118:42): Emphasizes the film’s ability to transcend mere set pieces through its exploration of father-son relationships.
• Griffin Newman (133:36): Highlights the film’s seamless blend of fun adventure with underlying emotional themes.

Notable Quote:

David Sims (118:42): "I think that this movie is more than set piece to set piece because of that exact stuff."

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Key Takeaways

• Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade serves as a pivotal film in Spielberg’s career, balancing thrilling action with deeper emotional narratives.
• The father-son dynamic between Indiana Jones and his father adds substantial depth to the franchise.
• The portrayal of Nazis shifts towards a more exaggerated, less sinister depiction, reflecting broader thematic choices.
• River Phoenix’s performance is a standout element, enhancing the film’s emotional resonance.
• Spielberg’s expertise in crafting memorable action sequences remains undiminished, even as he explores more mature themes.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Griffin Newman (02:07): "I think they settled on a really nice tagline for the main poster, which is, 'Have the adventure of your life, keeping up with the Joneses.' I think that's a clever way to do the family thing."
2. Chris Gethard (02:59): "I think River Phoenix is so fucking good in this movie and I love that sequence so fucking much."
3. Griffin Newman (12:24): "I think this was a year of sequels and comic books and also like the Little Mermaid. So, like, you know, that element rising again."
4. David Sims (31:12): "Which is very interesting to me. And I think through that prism, this movie's relationship to sexuality is very interesting."
5. Griffin Newman (35:53): "It does feel like Spielberg has run out of things to do with that sort of stuff. Like it's a little paint-by-numbers that they're so silly."
6. Chris Gethard (55:03): "He knows how to calibrate how can you do Nazis in a movie where you're not dealing with the full weight and severity of what they did, but you're also not completely turning them into, like, silly bullshit."
7. David Sims (118:42): "I think that this movie is more than set piece to set piece because of that exact stuff."

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Conclusion

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is celebrated for its engaging action sequences and the meaningful exploration of Indiana Jones’ relationship with his father. While some critiques are leveled towards the film's portrayal of antagonists and certain narrative decisions, the episode underscores the film’s enduring legacy within both Spielberg’s oeuvre and the adventure genre at large.

Transcript

[Griffin Newman]

Blank check with Griffin and David.

[David Sims]

Blank check with Griffin and David. Don't know what to say or to expect. All you need to know is that.

[Griffin Newman]

The name of the shadow is Blackjack.

[Chris Gethard]

You have podcasted poorly.

[Griffin Newman]

That's good, right? I do want to just. I want to highlight two interesting taglines for this movie. One I really like, One I think is really stupid.

[Chris Gethard]

Is. Is adventure still has a name or was that for.

[Griffin Newman]

I think that's the second one. So the first one is terrible, in my opinion. So bad, so funny that they did this. And this is the teaser poster. That's just Indy holding his whip. The man with the hat is back.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay.

[Griffin Newman]

And this time he's bringing his dad.

[Chris Gethard]

I remember.

[Griffin Newman]

Sounds like a Macaulay Culkin movie. It just sounds so stupid.

[Chris Gethard]

I remembered the man with the hat is back. And I had flipped in my mind that that was for Temple and. And that the man with the hat.

[Griffin Newman]

Chris. The man with the hat is back.

[Chris Gethard]

Chris, the man with the hat is back.

[Griffin Newman]

And this time he's bringing his dad. Like, I'm like, what do I care if he. Like, that's exciting his dad? Like, it's not inherently good news.

[David Sims]

First half, man with the hat is bad.

[Griffin Newman]

Fine.

[David Sims]

It's a little iconic hat.

[Griffin Newman]

And he's more than a hat.

[David Sims]

He's bringing his dad.

[Chris Gethard]

But he is a man with a hat.

[Griffin Newman]

He was recently on Connections. NYT Connections. Things Indiana Jones like, is. And it was like, hat, whip, bomber, jacket. There was a fourth thing. Anyway, the other tagline, I. I just want to say.

[Chris Gethard]

I want to say about that poster. Yeah, Beautiful. Drew Strain.

[Griffin Newman]

Really nice painting. Although I also think I prefer the. The main poster painting.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, well, that one's incredible because it's.

[Griffin Newman]

So, like, nice looking.

[Chris Gethard]

But you said, like, oh, it's that tagline in Indie with the whip. You should make it clear that painting is like. That poster is like a Drew Struzan painting of Indiana Jones at, like, a Kmart photo studio. It is like a high school. Like.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Head and shoulders turning to the camera, three quarter profile.

[Griffin Newman]

I think they settled on a really nice tagline for the main poster, which is, have the adventure of your life, keeping up with the Joneses. I think that's a clever way to do the family thing.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, that's.

[Griffin Newman]

That's all.

[Chris Gethard]

Here's what I'd say. This movie kind of needs no tagline. You just, like, put the poster out and you're like, here it is, the third Indiana Jones movie, and Sean Connory is his dad.

[Griffin Newman]

But that's Why? I think they're. They're saying the dad thing because they're like the dad, you know, like, they. They want you to know about the dad.

[Chris Gethard]

Sure.

[Griffin Newman]

It's not just like a third Indiana Jones movie, which would probably be enough. Just like Indiana Jones, he's here.

[David Sims]

It is a little bit sad that they didn't come up with Keeping up with the Joneses first. I think Keeping up with just really clever. That was the second swing, though, you know, that shouldn't have been.

[Chris Gethard]

No, not only is it the second swing, but it's also like the second beat of the second swing.

[Griffin Newman]

And here's a cool Japanese poster which has River Phoenix on it. That's pretty cool.

[Chris Gethard]

I think River Phoenix is so fucking good in this movie and I love that sequence so fucking much.

[Griffin Newman]

We'll get right, right into it because it's the first sequence in the movie.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm just. I'm going to get ahead of this. Right. This is my favorite Indiana Jones movies. I. I've. I've said it in other episodes. It. I know it is objectively not the best. I know that definitely Raiders good as Raider does basically everything this movie does better. They are so similar. And like, similarly, I'm like. I can't argue that it's better than the opening fertility idol sequence of Raiders. But the River Finnick sequence is my favorite Indiana Jones sequence, which is absurd to say when it doesn't have Harrison Ford in it.

[Griffin Newman]

That is absurd. That that's. That's borderline.

[Chris Gethard]

Not saying it's the best. Not saying it's the best. I have so much fun watching it.

[David Sims]

It's really great.

[Chris Gethard]

It's really great.

[Griffin Newman]

It is really great.

[David Sims]

Last Crusade is my favorite. But it also. I've. I have really been thinking hard and I know. I don't know if I'm supposed to jump in yet. I never know. I've never known.

[Chris Gethard]

Absolutely.

[David Sims]

I did. This was I. I did briefly have to think. I thought I was like. Was this the first movie my dad ever took me to see in theater?

[Griffin Newman]

1989. How old would you have been?

[David Sims]

I was nine. But I realized it wasn't.

[Griffin Newman]

I research feels a little old for you.

[David Sims]

Some of the first movies I actually. It made me research the first movies I ever saw in the theater and the first movie I believe I saw in the theaters actually really, really, to me, quite funny. Which was that I started breaking down the earliest movies I remember. It was like this. An American Tale, Home Alone and Batman.

[Griffin Newman]

Right. But These are all 89. 90, 91. Like that era.

[David Sims]

Then there was an early outlier which is that my dad clearly had no one to go with and did bring me to see Star Trek 4 theater.

[Chris Gethard]

That's a great movie.

[David Sims]

But for a six year old. Yeah, for a six. For a six year old. First experience in the movie is the fourth sequel.

[Griffin Newman]

Well, sure, story wise. But you know what? It's fun because it's like they're in a fish out of water and there's the whale. It's a pretty gentle movie.

[Chris Gethard]

It is maybe the Star Trek movie that is most accessible to a six year old with zero contact context, which is like space people in modern day San Francisco being confused by like cabs and shit and then giant flying.

[David Sims]

It does have like almost Police Academy style.

[Chris Gethard]

And it's an animal.

[Griffin Newman]

A really well executed version of that too. It's like I would.

[David Sims]

I do. I will say though, all of these things. I love your defense of it. I have a feeling that if I sat my father down and said, why is the first movie I ever saw in the theater Star Trek 4?

[Chris Gethard]

He'd be like, your mom didn't want to go.

[David Sims]

It was that or sitting by myself in a way that would have made me sad.

[Griffin Newman]

Right. Do you remember liking it?

[David Sims]

I remember liking the experience of seeing a movie. But Indiana Jones, the part of why I felt like Last Crusade might have been the first movie I ever saw was I was like, I do have those sense memories and I'm so glad to get to talk about them here where I'm like, this is perhaps the movie more than Raiders for me because of the theater experience. Like this is the movie that makes me feel how you want movies to make you feel.

[Chris Gethard]

This is my thing with it. I'm like, I know Raiders is better and I watch Raiders more because I'm like, I want to study this. It is such a miracle of like construction and craft. And yet I just have so much fun watching this. And I'm like, this is a perfect example of like what I want out of just like fun. Well made popcorn, well performed.

[Griffin Newman]

I like this movie a lot. Chris, though you had some thought. I feel like you were completing. I can't.

[David Sims]

Maybe not just the idea of like, this will always be my favorite Indiana Jones because I saw it in the theater. I also have such a. I'm 95% certain it was attached to this movie. That because this was 1989. I started reading comic books around 1987, 88. And I have a very distinct memory that someone might correct me. Lord knows your fans will Be the first ones to tell me if I'm right or wrong.

[Chris Gethard]

No idea what you're talking about.

[Griffin Newman]

Are sweetie pie fans.

[David Sims]

I love your fans. I love them. And it's also. I also want to say it's nice too because a lot of other times I've been on there's been natural segues into Star wars stuff and I get. I know your fans sometimes think I talk about Star wars too much but I don't really see too many connections between this movie.

[Griffin Newman]

Star Wars George Lucas produced film the Janitor no like.

[David Sims]

So this one I feel like couldn't.

[Chris Gethard]

Be further AP this is just. It's a streamlined episode as the Offspring.

[Griffin Newman]

Told us they have the same separated.

[David Sims]

Colonel Ver's stunning performance as Walter Donovan in this.

[Griffin Newman]

I love that guy.

[David Sims]

But I do remember seeing a trailer for the Cap. The Matt Salinger Captain America that I think was before this movie that lines up.

[Chris Gethard]

I've heard a lot of people talk.

[Griffin Newman]

About that 90 films. So that would have been.

[Chris Gethard]

Was Captain America.

[David Sims]

Shield came up and a few nerds in the theater flipped out. But this was an era in my life where I'd been reading comics for two years in isolation.

[Griffin Newman]

And so you were like oh, there are others like me.

[David Sims]

I'm in a room with people who. Who like being. Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

Although I feel like that was like a nadir for comic book Captain America. Like late 80s. He was very uncool. X Men had become so cool.

[David Sims]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

Like the Avengers were kind of not that cool.

[Chris Gethard]

Nomad era or is Nomad about.

[Griffin Newman]

It's probably around there. Nomad might.

[David Sims]

We are in the very fascinating 10 year plus run by Mark Grunwald which I've made it. Which has the best Captain America's ever been and also some of the most inexplicably, atrociously bad writing you've ever seen in a comic.

[Griffin Newman]

I should do a deeper. I've never really read Cap in like a sort of thoughtful way.

[Chris Gethard]

Well because you're not a patriot, right?

[Griffin Newman]

I just am not a patriot. I'm. No, it's because I'm a US agent guy. Actually. It's just like that guy.

[David Sims]

When you dive into the Mark Grunewald run of Captain America. You know who to text if you know. That's interesting. Really like the conversation about it.

[Griffin Newman]

He's. Yeah. It's funny. Like he. He's not someone like his rogues gallery. I'm not that familiar.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

I don't know. I loved obviously when Captain America cool again when Brubaker did him. Right. When Suddenly it was like, whoa, Captain America's like dark spy stuff. And this is so cool. I loved all that.

[Chris Gethard]

I feel like I've heard a lot of folks of your generation talk about that experience of the Captain America trailer being pretty widely attached to Last Crusade in the same summer that Burton's Batman has just come out and feeling like, oh, shit, it's all happening. Like, if you've just seen Batman work and you see the Captain America teaser, that's the shield. You have to think like, holy shit, they're all going to happen now. Every year. They're going to make all of them. They're all going to work with the public. And then it's like Captain America comes out, is like muddled with. Is a nothing movie disappears. Batman basically becomes the only superhero that works until the 2000s.

[David Sims]

We're also people. I think some people, younger people, sometimes forget. We are also now. Not again. I don't want to dwell on it, but we're also now far enough away from Return of the Jedi that liking Star wars is getting decidedly lame.

[Griffin Newman]

Star wars has become like, cheesy kid.

[David Sims]

Before the re releases of the original trilogy for sure. Actually, before the toys got cool. Right?

[Griffin Newman]

It's in its weird kind of swamp.

[Chris Gethard]

I love what you're setting up.

[Griffin Newman]

Right.

[Chris Gethard]

Like I was gonna correct you on the toys thing and the fact that you got to it, the toys got.

[David Sims]

Cool, the re releases happen. Star wars got cool again. But we are in a stretch where liking, like, wearing an X, like, I liked the X Men by this point. I would never wear an X Men T shirt.

[Ben Hosley]

No.

[Griffin Newman]

When I say the X Men were cool, I mean they were cool in the sense of like, they had become Marvel's biggest star. But obviously comic book, they were the.

[Chris Gethard]

Coolest thing within comic.

[David Sims]

And we're again to tie into the culture too. Let's not also forget Griffin, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is in the process of about to explode. Like, nerd shit is about to hit. And this movie, but it's got its.

[Griffin Newman]

Own little quadrant, right? Like, it's not like now where it. It's the main thing in culture. But yes, this movie, this movie made.

[David Sims]

You feel good about being an unabashed fan. Yeah, for the first time in my. That that cycle has always spun. But in my life cycle, being in that theater, hearing those people flip out, being there with my dad, I'm like, man, it's just the movie that probably more than any other imprinted in me the feeling of like, I want to sit here, I want to eat popcorn I want it to be dark. I want everybody to be quiet.

[Griffin Newman]

I also feel generations of people molded by Spielberg giving you that beautiful feeling.

[Chris Gethard]

89 is a year that, for better or worse, starts to feel like the year that sets Hollywood on the course to where it is today. Like, you look at the 89 blockbusters and you're like, this is a good slate. But also, the studios kind of become obsessed with chasing this line.

[David Sims]

They start chasing Dick Tracy almost immediately.

[Griffin Newman]

But it's like Disney renaissance because I.

[Chris Gethard]

Believe Last Crusade, Batman and Ghostbusters to all break opening weekend records. It's like the record gets broken like three times in one summer.

[Griffin Newman]

You've brought this up many, many times.

[David Sims]

Next thing you know, everyone's having panic attacks in San Diego.

[Griffin Newman]

Wait, I don't get it.

[David Sims]

Comic Con, Comic Con culture. This might be snowball down the hill that leads to Comic Con culture.

[Chris Gethard]

I think it all kind of.

[Griffin Newman]

You are not wrong.

[David Sims]

Next thing you know, Beverly Hills, you're on someone with someone just head to toe.

[Griffin Newman]

I now have it. I can now read. You always say this, and then I just. I'm always like, I can. Can't tell how to look this up. But here are the opening weekend records. It was held by Beverly Hills Cop 2 with $26 million opening weekend in 1987. Last Crusade beats that with a 29 Ghostbusters 2. Then beats that with like 29.4. You know, like slightly higher.

[Chris Gethard]

And then Batman does.

[Griffin Newman]

And then Batman crushes that at the end of the year in 1989 with $40 million, which is then beaten by Batman Returns.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. So it holds three years.

[Griffin Newman]

Yep. And then Jurassic Park, Batman Forever beats Jurassic park. People forget 52 mil. And then lost World beats Batman Forever. What do you think? Beat Lost World. People kind of forget about this because Spider man becomes the famous. The first movie to open over $100 million.

[Chris Gethard]

Is it Source for stone Harry Potter?

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Right. Because I remember people being like, is Harry Potter going to be the first movie with $100 million weekend a little below made like 94, 90. And people were like, you know what? I guess it's just mathematically impossible. There was no way to have that many Showtime sell that many tickets.

[Griffin Newman]

Right.

[Chris Gethard]

And then the following year, not even like six months later, Spider man does 114. And people were like, holy shit, impossible. And then you get to like a decade plus later, Avengers Endgame does like 114. Opening day Avengers.

[Griffin Newman]

Oh, Endgame did. Yeah, sure it did. 357. I wonder if that'll ever be beaten I guess it will one day. But this movie did break the record, like you say, Griffin, and it does. It is a year of sequels and comic books and also like the Little Mermaid. So like that, you know, that element rising again. The cartoon movies.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. It's a year of. This is what we want the industry to be.

[Griffin Newman]

But you also have. Look who's talking. Dead Poets Society. You have. Sure, there's non franchisees, things like you have a big comedy, you have a big adult.

[Chris Gethard]

One of those becomes family drama.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, that Poet Society. Two Dead. Two Poets.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, Dead or Poets.

[Griffin Newman]

Dead Poets Society, Tokyo Drift. We can keep.

[Chris Gethard]

Anyway, look, this is Blank Check with Griffin and David. I'm Griffin, David. It's a podcast about filmographies. Directors who have massive success early on in their careers and are given a series of blank checks, make whatever crazy passion products they want. And sometimes those checks clear and sometimes they bounce, baby. This is a miniseries on the films of Steven Spielberg, first half of his career. And we're talking today about Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, his third of four Indiana Jones movies that he directed.

[Griffin Newman]

Yep.

[Chris Gethard]

That he directed.

[Griffin Newman]

Yep.

[Chris Gethard]

His third of his four.

[Griffin Newman]

For many years. The fairly satisfying conclusion to the Indiana Jones series. And now the. The middle entry in the Indiana Jones series.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. Technically it is weird to be like that is. This is now the exact midpoint. And it's another thing where like you talk about that Star wars dead zone. And I know that was a little before David and I's time, but I've dug into it a lot because I do think it's a fascinating thing that's basically been culturally forgotten, which is that like Star wars just kind of goes away for 10 years.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah.

[David Sims]

And is like it was dead on the vine.

[Griffin Newman]

Right.

[Chris Gethard]

It's like hardcore nerds are keeping it alive at a very low burn in.

[Griffin Newman]

A way that like books and then.

[David Sims]

Well, everyone loves those Timothy Zahn books, the Grand Admiral Thaw and. And it's coming back in the. In the Filoni verse.

[Chris Gethard]

But it was a little.

[David Sims]

You were reading those Timothy Zahn books.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[David Sims]

You were a loser.

[Chris Gethard]

Because I would equate it to the period between original Star Trek getting canceled in the movie. Right. Where you're like, there's a small fervent group of people who are digging into.

[Griffin Newman]

The show, but that period is shorter. And that period is like. It's like those people were cultivating a cult show. They were like, we need to keep this cult show that didn't get that many viewers alive. Star Wars. It's like These were the biggest movies in the world. They're just done. But the fans are like, well, we want more. So we'll just sort of write, we'll read some books and we'll. But like, it was like, you know, Star wars fandom was wide and thin and Star Trek fandom was like more concentrated and small.

[Chris Gethard]

But the other part of it is that like, you know, Lucas very early on was like, I'm gonna do nine, right? And then after Return of the Jedi, people were like, that's not fucking happening. And he so quickly does the two Ewok movies and is like, and I'm doing two cartoon shows and droids and Ewoks and the Ewok movies all kind of don't really hit in the way I think he hoped, like.

[David Sims]

And we try as someone who was alive then, like the Ewok movies, you try. We watched them. We were ready. Yeah, we were confused.

[Chris Gethard]

Right.

[David Sims]

We knew what they were.

[Griffin Newman]

It's only fair to give you a.

[David Sims]

Sense, like, and this will age me. Everyone will know that I am truly an Xennial. That this, this micro generation. The.

[Chris Gethard]

Yep, yeah, the.

[David Sims]

The Oregon Trail generation. As some that we are called the Xennials. We had Apple 2E's with Oregon Trail in our classrooms. Here's what it meant to be a Star wars fan is that I was on a pre World Wide Web Internet where you would dial in from your computer to individual BBS's. And when I tell you there was one that I found in Whippany, New Jersey that had an archive of Star wars fan art that you could spend hours downloading on your 2400, it would take a 2400K modem. But like, oh, someone drew a picture of an AT Walker and you can dial this BBS and download it because someone's making fan art. Like the level of loserdom that I just described that I actively participated in and was that kid of like, I like Star Wars. So I have a floppy disk of famine art that I'm downloading from a BBS in Whippany, New Jersey. Like that's where we were at this idea that, that. That every store was going to be stocked with lightsabers, that there would be an entire theme park to go get lost in the immersive experience of this. No, you're using your computer to sit for hours communicating with another commuter computer in Whippany, New Jersey. That's what you have to do.

[Chris Gethard]

You have talked to me about and not said with sadness, just kind of an objective reality that when you were starting out at the UCB theater. You were like, the cheat code is if you make a Star wars reference, everyone in the theater will laugh.

[David Sims]

Especially when you were on the road doing college shows.

[Chris Gethard]

Because you're just like the people who come to improv shows are the exact people who have this knowledge base in their head and they don't hear other people say it out loud. And you even look at early Conan O'Brien and there's a similar thing of them making jokes about deep cut Star wars characters, which is like, they know their audience. They're going to pop if they hear Lobot or bossk, right? And you're like, now if you say that, people are like, yeah, bossk is at Walmart.

[David Sims]

Everybody my kid knows who bossk is.

[Chris Gethard]

Everyone knows who boss is.

[David Sims]

My 5 year old son is a boss. Your kid also. I just want to say I did not come here to talk about Star Wars.

[Chris Gethard]

Of course not.

[David Sims]

We're not talking about it. I had a real firm intent to. Not great. Dwell too much on Star Wars. So just understand that this is a cultural discussion about the impact of 1989. That I did not lead everybody.

[Griffin Newman]

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. When you're seeing this in theaters, Chris.

[Chris Gethard]

Let'S say our guest today.

[Griffin Newman]

Oh, sorry, go ahead. I didn't realize we had these blankies.

[David Sims]

Know.

[Griffin Newman]

They know.

[David Sims]

I am. I'm the bad boy of blank.

[Griffin Newman]

They forgot about Chris, the bad boy of blank.

[David Sims]

Check.

[Chris Gethard]

This is deaf Blank check Jam.

[David Sims]

Hamburger.

[Griffin Newman]

I ain't scared of you.

[David Sims]

I just did a show with Hamburger.

[Chris Gethard]

Really?

[David Sims]

A month ago, I did a show with the real Alonzo Hamburger Jones.

[Chris Gethard]

Holy.

[David Sims]

In New Jersey, I got a text from a club booker that was like, hey, if you're free tonight, we're just doing a show. A bunch of people dropping in. Hamburger's gonna be here. I was like in the car before I could even hit reply.

[Ben Hosley]

This is incredible. How did he do?

[Griffin Newman]

Because the whole rush, of course, on.

[David Sims]

A fucking cowboy hat. And he said the word hamburger 45 times, right?

[Griffin Newman]

It's like Hanson. I'm like, they better play. They play. I'm like, I got what I wanted.

[David Sims]

Like, I also, the whole thing is.

[Griffin Newman]

He says hamburger instead of swear words.

[David Sims]

But it's almost become like an OCD compulsion. Like, he'll hit a punchline and then in between the setup, as next Joe, he'll be like, and here's the punchline in the rhythm. Hamburger. And here's the setup for the next one.

[Chris Gethard]

It started out like curse words and now it's become like the Smurf saying Smurf.

[David Sims]

It's. Yeah. It's wild, though. But he also was. I'm not making fun of him. Hamburger was fucking great. He's been doing it forever. But it was also fun because it was a bunch of very young New Jersey comics in the green room. And Hamburger, who predates me by many, many years. But then I walked in and was like, everyone's just sitting quietly, not talking to Hamburger. I'm going to sit down and ask Hamburger some questions. And then the whole room gathered up and showed their respect and listened to the stories of Alonzo Hamburger Jones.

[Chris Gethard]

That fucking rules.

[David Sims]

Hamburger.

[Chris Gethard]

Uh, Chris Gethard.

[David Sims]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

You did our live show last year for the ninth anniversary.

[David Sims]

I think that was the last my presence has been felt on Buying Chick.

[Chris Gethard]

This is true. And you made a bit about you guys are afraid to have me back, on which you always think you'll make the joke publicly and then you'll text me and you'll be like, I get it if you guys don't want the heat. I don't take it personally. Yes.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Now, it is kind of crazy that it's been five spread out over 10 years, but I also think your high impact guests, we want the right pairing. You text me four times a year. And you were haranguing us about this right before the record. When are you guys doing Kurosawa? When are you doing a Kiryu? That's the episode I want. You walked in here today and you went, you guys call yourself a movie podcast? Isn't this supposed to be a movie podcast?

[David Sims]

No. Where I'll pull back the curtain, edit it out if you have to. I said, when are you guys doing Karasawa? David Sims's response was, that's just so many movies. And I went, is this not a movie?

[Griffin Newman]

This is a funny rejoinder.

[David Sims]

Is that. Is that not the goal?

[Griffin Newman]

It would take half a year.

[Chris Gethard]

It would take half a year for.

[Griffin Newman]

Us to do Kurosawa.

[Chris Gethard]

That's the whole format. The only workaround is we split it in half, which is what we did with Spielberg. We did half of Spielberg seven years ago and now we're only finally getting around to the first.

[David Sims]

Get that. Like you're not scrambling to watch a six hour long reinterpretation of Hamlet in his Is a king learning colorful. I get it.

[Chris Gethard]

Rips.

[Griffin Newman]

That movie's good, but do the people.

[David Sims]

Not want to hear you guys talk about Yojimbo? Am I crazy crazy here that they don't enjoy it?

[Chris Gethard]

I think it's an aspiration Yeah, I.

[David Sims]

Think there's a certain level of people Persona. But I just do want to say I oftentimes have texted you guys like, hey, if you can't have me back, I get it. And I just need to be clear. I'm not ever setting out to make your fans furious.

[Chris Gethard]

Of course not.

[David Sims]

I don't want to.

[Chris Gethard]

You're the nice guy of podcasting.

[David Sims]

I'm not trying to get people mad, but if they get mad to a degree where I find it funny and unreasonable, I will at that point, be the heel.

[Chris Gethard]

You did a bit at our live show where you played into that and played the heel. And my manager, who I don't think has ever listened to an episode of the podcast, texted me and said, that angry nerd was hilarious. Where did you find him?

[David Sims]

Look at that. Where did you find him, Griffin?

[Chris Gethard]

But this.

[David Sims]

When I was someone shepherding you in your early career, this is how bad things got for Wild. Where did you, Griffin, discover Gether?

[Chris Gethard]

This is what's wild to me is the amount of time she's had to hear me talk about you.

[David Sims]

They don't even know these people.

[Griffin Newman]

It's.

[Chris Gethard]

If I remain on that's Chris Gether. And she was like, oh, people. It's not like she doesn't know who Chris Gethard is, but it was, like, connected for her.

[David Sims]

I get it.

[Chris Gethard]

I think also you came in, started speaking from the crowd, started riling people up. We maybe never properly introduced you because everyone was like, we know who the this is.

[David Sims]

Also, the way you asked me to do that show was we're doing this thing at Town Hall. Can you come do the get third thing right?

[Griffin Newman]

Come, like, essentially play full heel.

[David Sims]

Can I just say one quick thing? And I'm not apologizing. We talked a lot about Spider Man 2 on the Spider Man 2 episode, I think we talked about did my bit miss, maybe there are people where I've read their opinions that they were looking forward to that episode and felt let down by it. And I feel very sad about that because it's one of my favorite movies.

[Griffin Newman]

That episode's good. I mean, I had.

[Chris Gethard]

If there was a problem, right?

[David Sims]

When I read some people on the Blank Check subreddit going, this guy, his show got canceled and he's been cut from every movie. And I'm happy. I go, maybe there's something to be said for the culture of Reddit and fandom and where they cross over that some of you could do some soul searching. I'm not setting out to piss everybody.

[Chris Gethard]

Off and this is why I'm bringing all.

[David Sims]

Of.

[Chris Gethard]

This is why I'm bringing all this up. At the end of your bit, you walk off stage and we had a moment of genuine earnest reflection in which we just called out, this whole podcast doesn't happen without you.

[Griffin Newman]

We used to watch your show. We were obsessed with you, you know? Exactly.

[Chris Gethard]

But I mean, ye like basically David and I bond over the. The ritual of the G show.

[David Sims]

A very nice review. And I believe you interviewed him about that review for the.

[Chris Gethard]

No. Alyssa, who saw both of us being really active in the community, was like, you guys should be friends. But also I meet Hosley because Creek in the Cave hires him to take over as producer of all of their podcasts. But specifically talking TCGs, which was a. Which Riley and I were already doing. He comes in midstream.

[David Sims]

There was a stretch where that podcast was, I think, getting as many listens as the show was getting views.

[Chris Gethard]

Correct.

[David Sims]

It maybe even started to at times threaten it. We were like, we can't have the podcast analyzing the show. There was more popular TV show. That's a bad sign of this show platform.

[Chris Gethard]

The episodes used to be on. Do you remember there was the website where they would go like the archived episodes before you were uploading them to YouTube. And I'm trying to remember the name of that place.

[David Sims]

Blink tv.

[Chris Gethard]

I think so.

[David Sims]

Blip tv.

[Chris Gethard]

Blip tv.

[David Sims]

Blip tv.

[Chris Gethard]

Blip tv. What I remember is reporting to you.

[David Sims]

If the gethard show existed when Twitch and Discord were insane.

[Chris Gethard]

I mean, we're plugging it out on Blip tv. I remember telling you how the first episode of the podcast talking about the show had done. And you said, that's more listens than Blip TV reports we get per episode. And it forced you to look under the head and be like, is Blip TV's algorithm wrong? Like, do they not know how to actually measure?

[David Sims]

Turns out I was wrong. If we see everything that's happened with Blip TV since then, my paranoia was incorrect. I should have trusted him.

[Griffin Newman]

But this is was. You always love a wikipedia entry.

[Chris Gethard]

Was 10 years the blank check, a decade of dreams? It feels very important to have you back on them.

[David Sims]

Mad at me right now cuz they're going, just talk about Last Crusade, guys. Why do all the G episodes have these long ones?

[Griffin Newman]

Let's talk about Indiana.

[Chris Gethard]

And David has famously not.

[David Sims]

I'm being a really good boy.

[Chris Gethard]

He's being a great boy.

[David Sims]

Being a really good boy.

[Ben Hosley]

The movie in that we're starting off the episode by talking about the early days. But now we're going to swing into talking about the. The subject.

[Chris Gethard]

Gu. Tell me about your relationship with Indiana Jones up until the point.

[Griffin Newman]

Had you seen the others?

[David Sims]

The first one I see is Last Crusade in theater.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[David Sims]

The second one I see is that my parents used to take me. There was a. A campground called Otter Lake. It's still there. It's in the Poconos, North Jersey. That's a good cheap vacation. Go camping at a campground in the Poconos. This campground is one of these places that has a camp store. That's the first place I ever bought comic books. They also did movie nights. And I see Raiders. I see Raiders as part. It's screened at a campground in like a little outdoor pavilion, which is a really beautiful way to see raiders in your memory.

[Chris Gethard]

Is it a print? Are they like showing a print or are they like rejecting a vhs?

[David Sims]

It's a vhs. I would be shocked if they had.

[Griffin Newman]

No, I weren't. They didn't have a projector out there.

[David Sims]

We went to very different summer camps.

[Chris Gethard]

This is true. This is true.

[Griffin Newman]

It's the old days touching on things.

[Chris Gethard]

To make listeners angry. I'm not gonna deny it.

[Griffin Newman]

All right.

[David Sims]

My parents were like, where's the cheapest place we can go? These people probably like literally prop up a big screen TV. No, it wasn't a screen.

[Chris Gethard]

They would project DVDs at my summer camp. But I do feel like there was a weird culture. It's the only reason I asked the follow up question. There was a weird culture of like 16 millimeter prints existing of blockbuster movies that were basically just for like Boy Scouts.

[David Sims]

Yeah, like that. I wouldn't be hurt showing in my memory. It wasn't like. I want to tell you that I can still hear like the crickets and smell campfires and hear the like of the film starting. I wish probably a vhs. But I would argue Crusade in the theater and then double back to Raiders of the Lost Ark with a. With your parents at a summer camp surrounded by other kids.

[Griffin Newman]

Like, this is the stuff of childhood.

[David Sims]

That is 80. That's an 80s childhood.

[Chris Gethard]

And then do you immediately jump to Temple to fill that in?

[David Sims]

Temple I don't see for a few years from what I remember my. One of my best friends in high school and later one of my college roommates, he has a VHS of Temple that I watch. I don't watch until high school.

[Griffin Newman]

I don't think I saw Temple until just. It was randomly on TV or whatever where.

[David Sims]

But I do feel like a lot of the Most iconic things I knew about Indiana Jones before seeing Annie of them were images from Temple, which is weird.

[Chris Gethard]

I. I think we talk about it in that episode, but there was such a media frenzy around look how Jack Terrace and Ford got for Temple, that I think the imagery of him with like the ripped off sleeve and the machete and his chest showing was for a long time kind of just one of the most repeated Indiana Jones images.

[David Sims]

And him. Him tied up to a stake. I remember feeling like that was really scary in my head. And again, I haven't rewatched all of them for recent purposes. And I know I will also say too, I'm not obsessive with Indiana Jones. Him the big ball chasing him. That's Temple as well. That's Raiders. That's the iconic image then. But they were jumbled up in my mind. But yes, it's funny Crusade in the theater. It's Raiders at a summer camp.

[Chris Gethard]

You're making me realize all three indies have a big he's tied to something scene. Like, the first one has him and Marion while the ark is being open. The second one has him tied up while they're like, hypnotizing him.

[David Sims]

It's when he's tied to his own dad.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes. And then.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah.

[David Sims]

And they. Talking about.

[Griffin Newman]

They are talking about.

[David Sims]

Talking about tied to your dad. The Bondage. They're talking about a. I mean, we have to talk about this later.

[Griffin Newman]

It's a huge part of this movie. A movie that is largely airy fun with this sort of. Sort of silly, weird thing at the center of it of, like, they become Eskimo brothers.

[David Sims]

They both had sex with the same woman who again, like, back to back. Also, though, like, the psychology of Steven Spielberg making the Nazi that they both had sex with undeniably super hot in her Nazi outfit is. I am now old enough to realize the psychological layers of that are very.

[Griffin Newman]

I want to see if there's anything. Because I do wonder she's.

[David Sims]

When she's dressed as a Nazi.

[Chris Gethard]

Empire of the Sun. I mean, I agree. Empire, the Sun's the episode right before this. Correct.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Just because we've been recording a little out of order. Correct. Okay. So Bilga, our friend Bilga Beery on that episode, put forward the notion that the big shift in Spielberg's career is, like, at about the midway point, he shifts in the perspective of making movies from the vantage point of a son to making movies from the vantage point of a father. And that this is kind of the Fulcrum movie because it's dealing with Both sides of that.

[Griffin Newman]

Sure, sure.

[Chris Gethard]

Which is very interesting to me. And I think through that prism, this movie's relationship to sexuality is very interesting. And how weird. Like Spielberg's relationship to depicting any form of sex in movies or even really talking about it is. But also so much of his core trauma being related to the like, cuckolding of his dad and being too aware of the sexual lives of his parents and all this sort of. It is just funny that this movie is like an Eskimo brothers family adventure comedy that just kind of like won't move on from that. But that also. It's like you've set up these Indiana Jones movies that have this sort of like James Bond style. We're gonna have a new love interest every movie. And then this one basically does the fake out of just like, she's not a love interest, she's a villain. And for the second half of the movie, it's gonna be him and his dad kind of having weird conversation about the fact that they've both her in the past.

[David Sims]

I also have been rewatching. I just finished, really deeply meaningful to me. Rewatched the original Star wars trilogy with my five year old, which anybody who's heard me on the show can imagine that that was like very, very real for me. But I am.

[Griffin Newman]

Was she like D plus?

[David Sims]

No, he.

[Griffin Newman]

Medium.

[David Sims]

He loved him. Of course he loved him. And you know what else? Here's the thing that's really, really cool.

[Chris Gethard]

Talk about Star Wars.

[David Sims]

I mean, he did love this movie. Has so little to do with Star Wars. We can't focus on it too much. Loved Obi Wan. Like, loved Obi Wan. Loved every time Obi Wan came back. It is sad to see though, that kids now growing up grow up with enough spoilers that like, another kid had told him.

[Chris Gethard]

You already knew about Luke and Vader.

[David Sims]

Yeah, he knew so much about Yoda that you realize the magic of this little impish creature.

[Griffin Newman]

Right. Turning out to be a wise old.

[David Sims]

They all like he had.

[Chris Gethard]

I wish I could have seen that cold.

[David Sims]

I mean, I saw that cold. I saw it cold and it blew my mind.

[Chris Gethard]

I think I already knew, like, Yoda's wise.

[Griffin Newman]

We're not talking.

[David Sims]

The reason. The only reason I wanted to bring it up, because I don't want to dive down the Star wars rabbit hole, is that both Han Solo and Indiana Jones are also by modern standards and who cares? But I'm like, oh, Harrison Ford played a real good sex pest.

[Griffin Newman]

I don't think Indiana Jones.

[David Sims]

I don't know, man. Like Here's a flower.

[Chris Gethard]

He's a little.

[David Sims]

He's a Pepe Lev in the Venice scene.

[Chris Gethard]

I agree with you.

[David Sims]

He gets off the boat with like. Basically starts rubbing his dick over his pants. I gotta. This broad, like, instantaneous.

[Chris Gethard]

Can we just get that sound clean one more time? I agree with you. And it speaks to how good Spielberg's story Math Brain is at this point where he's like, if we later find out she's a Nazi, the audience won't hold it against him.

[David Sims]

He's so smoking hot.

[Chris Gethard]

But I also like.

[David Sims]

To the point where he's still trying to save her as she tries to steal the Holy Grail one last time. He's like, no, no, no, come on, you gotta get back up here. Like, you're like, oh, man, She's.

[Griffin Newman]

That scene is interesting. We'll talk about that.

[Chris Gethard]

I.

[Griffin Newman]

There's dynamics.

[Chris Gethard]

I find Willie Scott so annoying. She's one of my least favorite characters in the history of movies. And part of what I find annoying about her is, as we've covered in this, that episode, it feels like a character who's trying to stop Indiana Jones from being an Indiana Jones movie. And the tension between the two of them is just him being like, I'm Indiana Jones. Sooner or later she's going to fuck me. I'm just kind of sitting here being like, okay, lady. Until she finally breaks down. Right. What I think they correctly identified in sort of recalibrating for this movie is like, man, you know, what's Harrison Ford magic? And the thing they stumbled upon that you wouldn't think would be his superpower is like the back and forth between him and Leia and this guy who's so cool and confident, being a little flummoxed by, like, I wish I didn't care about you.

[David Sims]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And you can actually needle me.

[David Sims]

There's character growth with Marion has that.

[Chris Gethard]

Because of the history. And Henry Jones Senior has that where it's fun to watch Indiana Jones be like, duh, I'm pretending I don't care. It's.

[David Sims]

I. I also want to say, too. I'm not bringing it up to be like, sex pest. Let's. Let's cancel Harrison Ford's early characters. Just like, oh, society has changed. This does. This does feel jarring. Like, my kid will watch Indiana Jones someday and be like, it's kind of aggressive with girls, dad. Like. Like, it's.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[David Sims]

You go, oh, I'm not saying, like, I don't. I don't care. And I'm not looking for a Debate on it. But I'm just like, oh, whoa. Like the shifts stand out that like this was the most charming of our childhood. Twice two franchises, him charming the out of all of us. And it does. You do flag it pretty quickly in 2025.

[Chris Gethard]

I just think there's an interesting kind of rug pull on this movie. Like sort of emasculating him halfway through because the second his dad enters it's like he's infantilized.

[David Sims]

And also his dad's like instantaneously calls him sir.

[Chris Gethard]

Right. And also his dad's like, yeah, I her. You know, and it's just sort of like it kind of defangs that weird sexual element of him in a way where it's like now he's like a little boy.

[David Sims]

Also, the reveal comes via she talks in her sleep. Which I think famously was an improvised line.

[Griffin Newman]

It's a very good line. Or either improvised or maybe suggested by someone. Let's open the dossier.

[Chris Gethard]

David. Boing. You hear that? Boing, boing.

[Griffin Newman]

It's a boinging noise.

[Chris Gethard]

Nope, that's a spring. Because spring has sprung true. Spring movie preview. David, what do we got?

[Griffin Newman]

We got some great stuff coming.

[Chris Gethard]

Films coming to Regal theaters that we want to direct our listeners towards.

[Griffin Newman]

Minecraft.

[Chris Gethard]

Sign up for Regal Unlimited and go see the Minecraft movie. Excuse me, A Minecraft movie.

[Griffin Newman]

Ah, just the one, I think.

[Chris Gethard]

An interesting titling structure on that one. Do you know that film is directed by Jared Hess? Isn't that bizarre?

[Griffin Newman]

Sure, you're more struck by this than.

[Chris Gethard]

I. I think we should all be talking about this. I think this should be front page news.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, but you've also got Drop getting great reactions out of south by Southwest fun horror movies. Yes, exactly. You've got Alex Garland's Warfare.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay. Have you seen that?

[Griffin Newman]

I'm not sure I can talk about it.

[Chris Gethard]

Well, interesting.

[Griffin Newman]

You've got the new Jean Coet Serra movie, the Woman in the Yard, late March.

[Chris Gethard]

Very excited for that. Written by Sam Stefanik. Yes, The Amateur, a high concept. Rami Malek thriller that seems to have the premise what if Griffin Newman in.

[Griffin Newman]

Action movie, you know, and that's directed by the guy who did One Life. It's really interesting.

[Chris Gethard]

Really? Yeah, interesting. We got Sinners coming.

[Griffin Newman]

Ah, I'm so pumped for Sinners.

[Chris Gethard]

And Jordan are back.

[Griffin Newman]

Yes, that's actually really gonna rock. And of course, friend of the show, Bone Yang and the Wedding Banquet.

[Chris Gethard]

The Wedding Banquet, A remake of a film we've covered on this show, written, co. Written and starring a past and future guest, the accountant Too. This is spring. You're boing, boing everywhere.

[Griffin Newman]

Spring is for real.

[Chris Gethard]

Spring is for real.

[Griffin Newman]

So. Well, why are we talking about it?

[Chris Gethard]

Because of Regal. Because this is a perfect opportunity to sign up for Regal Unlimited.

[Griffin Newman]

What's awesome about all this is that there's lots of interesting, different kinds of movies in theaters that you can go see.

[Chris Gethard]

And with Regal Unlimited, the whole point is you sign up and seeing three, four, five, six of those movies is easy and affordable.

[Griffin Newman]

Sign up now in the Regal app or at the link in the description in our show notes and use code blank check to get 20% off your three month subscription. And then you're going to be in the Crown Club. You're going to get rewards, you're going.

[Chris Gethard]

To build up points, get free popcorns.

[Griffin Newman]

And sodas, 25% off candy on Tuesdays, 50% off popcorn. Discount discounted ticket.

[Chris Gethard]

Go to the Regal Crown Club website. And as I said, it's a little deep. It's a little buried in here. There is a section where you can redeem your points for old promotional movie memorabilia like Red one socks.

[Griffin Newman]

Right?

[Chris Gethard]

Follow the link in the show notes, go to the Regal app, click on the unlimited banner and then follow the instructions to sign up and enter promo code blank check when prompted to receive your discount. And look, I'm just going to say it again, David. Signing up for Regal Unlimited or maybe gifting a membership to a moviegoer in your life.

[Griffin Newman]

Sure.

[Chris Gethard]

Great way to support the show. This is. This is a dream advertiser.

[Griffin Newman]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

A dream partner for us. We want to keep this going. We think it could benefit everybody, especially the movies.

[Griffin Newman]

Before Indiana Jones, the Last Crusade, Steven Spielberg was supposed to make Rain Man.

[David Sims]

That was a ma. That was a masterful moment of leadership with you leading us out of our manic.

[Griffin Newman]

Well, please, I'm going to keep leading out.

[Chris Gethard]

Just.

[David Sims]

It's good. You're really good.

[Chris Gethard]

Tell you get things we've covered in the previous Indiana Jones movies. Spielberg really wanted to make James Bond. They kept rejecting him. Lucas comes to him and is like, I got a good idea. This is like the James Bond killer. But when he brings it to him, he's like, if you make it, you have to promise me you make three. There's sort of this handshake deal of like, I want this to be a franchise and I don't want you to run off and have shittier Jaws sequels in your wake. I need three out of you. So he's not contractually like tied on paper, but he owes a third Indiana Jones Totally.

[David Sims]

And I don't want to talk too much about George Lucas, but doesn't have much to do.

[Chris Gethard]

They're working on scripts for years, right. And it's just sort of not happening. And Spielberg has this attitude of like, I'm not going to do the third one unless I like the script because we kind of got eaten alive on template Rain Man.

[Griffin Newman]

Martin Breast project. Martin Breast drops out. Steven Spielberg works in that project for a long time. Course he eventually drops out for reasons that Griffin is kind of setting up. And Barry Levinson takes over and wins.

[Chris Gethard]

Best Picture and Best Director and Best.

[Griffin Newman]

Director, which are trophies that Spielberg obviously was hunting for in the 1980s.

[Chris Gethard]

Also interesting to think about him potentially working with Tom Cruise 15 years earlier than he actually was.

[Griffin Newman]

He was working with Dustin and Tom Cruise on it like it's a whole thing. And he says they just could not get the script where he wanted it. And they hit this point where they were planning on an Indy 3, Memorial Day, 1989. And he was like, I'm just gonna have to stop doing Rain man because I won't have enough time to do Indy, essentially. So he's made a lot of grown up movies, right? Like before Last Crusade, he's back to back made Color Purple and Empire of the sun, these two sort of like conscious departures from like the Spielberg type of movie.

[Chris Gethard]

And Temple of Doom is also like a Spielberg movie that's kind of fighting itself. I think the public is like, can you go back to doing something?

[Griffin Newman]

Can you go have fun, be a showman again? The other movie, of course, that Spielberg almost does is Big, which was written by his sister Anne. And he wanted Harrison Ford to play the part, you know, to play Joey Joel. Right?

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[David Sims]

You know, the Imagine Harrison. I don't josh Harrison Ford at FAO Schwartz.

[Griffin Newman]

I just don't see that.

[Chris Gethard]

I don't want to design toys. Just pointing his finger at people and I like candy.

[Griffin Newman]

He decides that he would be stealing his sister's thunder in a way. That's the way he sort of puts it. And he, I don't know, he steps.

[Chris Gethard]

Aside, which, look, I think was smart and like the, the path works out better for everyone involved.

[Griffin Newman]

Harrison Ford has had kind of a great run post Temple of Doom. He does Witness gets an Oscar nomination. I still think it's one of his best movies.

[David Sims]

Turns out Witness very good. Every screenwriting book talks about Witness. Then he does Another Town and Witness.

[Griffin Newman]

Another movie with Peter Weir. Mosquito coast that I feel like at the time is mixed reception but is a Good movie.

[Chris Gethard]

He talks about that as being a real turning point in his career of like, this is not what the public wants out of Harrison Ford. I can't fight it. They're like, they're bought into the brand and they don't care about me going and doing something I find interesting. They want to see me play the hits. But is it an excellent film with an excellent performance?

[Griffin Newman]

And then in 80. 80 is frantic. That's not a huge hit, although it's not a bad movie. The Polanski movie and Working Girl, which is a great hit for him and I. I think a nice swerve in.

[Chris Gethard]

Terms of good diversification movie of just like this guy's movie star, like power is exp.

[Griffin Newman]

While Spielberg and Ford are off doing all this stuff, George Lucas, who we're not going to talk about much, apparently.

[David Sims]

Doesn'T have that much to do with.

[Griffin Newman]

This movie, is developing whatever this will be. Tentatively. Initially, the Monkey King was the name.

[Chris Gethard]

Of this entry, which is like ancient Chinese mythology. A very big figure.

[Griffin Newman]

He says. At first he had said to Steven Spielberg, like, what about the Holy Grail? And Steven Spielberg had been like, meh. Then he, you know, he goes over to the Monkey King. Oh, I see. Spielberg says when he said Holy Grail, he was like, are we gonna have, like, rabbits jumping out of. You know, like. He was like Monty Python. Oh.

[Chris Gethard]

In his mind, the, like, the shadow of Monty Python was too big to take Holy Grail series back. Yeah, I like that.

[Griffin Newman]

So. Right. So this Monkey King idea, which Chris Columbus, writer of Gremlins, at that point.

[Chris Gethard]

You know, sort of is a big amblin. Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

In house developed something eventually is called Indiana Jones in the Lost City of Sun Wu King.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay.

[Griffin Newman]

Not. Not rolling off the tongue, but has this prelude set in a haunted castle, which was something they thought about for indie too, of like, what if we did like, a big haunted Scottish castle with Indy? And then mostly it's like, set in the Far east or whatever. This all gets junked. You know, they eventually just like, forget it. There is, I think, a script you can read out there, though. Like, there's something out there that people have found. And that's when George Lucas is like, please, Holy Grail, can we do my idea for the Holy Grail?

[Chris Gethard]

There also have always been the rumors that Diane Thomas at some point was developing a version that was the Haunted Castle expanded at large.

[Griffin Newman]

The Haunted Castle thing was just around for a long time.

[Chris Gethard]

They're, like, throwing a lot of shit at the wall. But Spielberg was like, I just Did Poltergeist. I don't want to do another haunted house movie. Even if it's a castle.

[Griffin Newman]

Lucas is Holy Grail. Holy Grail. Spielberg is like, can we put his dad in it? Spielberg basically takes total credit for, like, I was the one who's like, that's Holy Grail is not that interesting to me. The dad thing is interesting.

[Chris Gethard]

Weird. I wonder why Steven Spielberg was insistent on putting a complicated dad relationship into a movie.

[Griffin Newman]

So he's like, we can do a character study here. Like, there can be some juice there. And George Lucas said, how is that conducive to the Grail search? Sounds like George was a real fun guy.

[Chris Gethard]

George Lucas famously does not like using interiority to interrogate his own relationship to his father. It's just like, no, Darth Vader's just based on.

[Griffin Newman]

And so Lucas is like, well, the dad could be like the Grail hunter in a way. Right. Like, that could be the thing. And Ford likes that idea. They bring in Meno men Has who.

[Chris Gethard]

Wrote Color Purple, of course, a Dutch white man who wrote the Color Purple.

[Griffin Newman]

They don't like that script. So they bring in Jeff Bohm, who is the credited guy who had done the Lethal Weapon movies.

[Chris Gethard]

Big thing. I read banter. Yes. Well, also that in the Menho script, to a certain extent, Joan Sr. Was the MacGuffin. You had this thing of like, he's been kidnapped, he's gone missing, looking for it. You don't get to him until the very end of the movie. And Jeff Bohm's like, that's the halfway point.

[David Sims]

Right.

[Chris Gethard]

You want at least half a movie of them riffing off each other.

[David Sims]

I was actually shocked rewatching it to come in today. It's deeper into the existing movie than it. It's 48 minutes in.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[David Sims]

That's Shawn, where I was like, oh, you already have a really good fun 48 minutes. Like, imagine Sean Connor even appears.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes. And imagine if he didn't enter until they, like, got to the cave at the end, you know, and you just. I feel like we talk about so many modern movies that do this, especially like Legacy equals and where they're like. And then at the end, you bring out the old guy or whatever, and you're just like, no, we want to see it. Like, it feels like sometimes movies out think the biggest blow up pop at the end of the movie and they think that's the maximum impact. And stringing the audience along in anticipation until that point, you're like, no, we want to see the characters we like. Doing stuff. If you have a good hook, let it play out rather than let it be a twist.

[Griffin Newman]

So, you know, I think they settled well right on what you're talking about. Initially, Lucas is imagining kind of an Olivier type, like an eccentric British guy.

[Chris Gethard]

More, more prim and proper.

[Griffin Newman]

But Spielberg is immediately like, no James Bond. Like, we need Sean Connery, which is.

[Chris Gethard]

Just like a billion dollar idea.

[Griffin Newman]

Now, Sean connery is only 12 years older than Harrison Ford, but they, I think they sell that just great. Ford looks weirdly young, like I guess for his age.

[Chris Gethard]

And Connery looked old. The fact that he let himself go bald and wasn't dyeing his hair and all that, you know, he's got the gray.

[Griffin Newman]

I feel Lucas is a flat no. He's like, no, he's James Bond. It's overwhelming.

[Chris Gethard]

Too much.

[Griffin Newman]

And Spielberg is correctly, like, unlike James.

[Chris Gethard]

Bond at this point and like Untouchables has recontextualized him in a really good way. And I also think the 12 year age difference, I feel was like a movie fun fact that was I heard a lot as a child of like, you want to hear something crazy? And like books I read about movies or like in theater. Pre movie trivia. And much like the box office record getting like beaten multiple times, I feel like there are now so many movies where you're like, the mom is five years older. Where the 12 years between Connery and Ford doesn't feel that insane anymore. I'm also like, I kind of buy that Connery could have gotten someone pregnant when he was 12. Not to be gross about it. I don't think the movie is asking.

[Griffin Newman]

Us to accept thumbs down to that.

[David Sims]

But your backstory, going off of that.

[Griffin Newman]

Going off of that though, wow.

[David Sims]

Teachers, I've got money.

[Chris Gethard]

This guy is, is having a really close relation with his history teacher, Burger. Perhaps some extracurricular studies. I'm picturing a 12 year old full beard, full through puberty.

[Griffin Newman]

Listen, the thing I have to say is, yes, David.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes, David, that's standing by the way. Major cut can stand down.

[Griffin Newman]

They bring Connory the script. He has some notes. He's Sean Connory. He comes over to George, according to Spielberg and says, look, anything Indy does in the context of the story, I have done better. When he talks about sleeping with Elsa, right? In that I slept with her too. That's Connery putting that in.

[Chris Gethard]

Now in that context, it sounds like Connery's idea. That is nonsense. But back to back, I do think it was a gift for the movie. I do think they figured out the right way to execute that. He.

[David Sims]

Connery is so charming and funny in this movie. Is it fair to say he is to the Indiana Jones franchise what Samuel Jackson is to the Die Hard franchise? This injection of joy and fun in the third.

[Griffin Newman]

I know what you're saying. Right. The third one getting like a kind.

[David Sims]

Of second one is wobbly and cover killer performance.

[Chris Gethard]

We covered those last year and it wasn't right. And it was a similar thing where we're just like, Die Hard 2 doesn't have a handle on what this is anymore and is just trying to repeat the same thing and find ways to flip it. You're right. Where they're just like, we need to, like, balance this with something else. We need someone. I agree with you. I think that's a really good take.

[David Sims]

Thank you so much.

[Chris Gethard]

And also solves their problem of like, how do you top.

[Griffin Newman]

Marion Connery's take is.

[Chris Gethard]

Which is like. Don't make it a new love interest.

[Griffin Newman]

He thinks India.

[David Sims]

Between Griffin's interjections and. David. David.

[Griffin Newman]

No, I'm just. I'm just trying to get.

[David Sims]

I got you. I got you. I'm with. I'm on your team. I'm a good boy.

[Griffin Newman]

I'm truly just trying to read this great statement from Sean Connery, who's definitely not problematic in any way.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay.

[Griffin Newman]

I didn't want the father to be so much of a wimp. Aside from the fact that Indiana Jones is not as well dressed as James Bond. I mean, they're not really in the same dress area.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Griffin Newman]

But. Okay. The main difference between them is sexual. Indiana deals with women shyly. In the first film, he's flustered when the student writes I love you on her eyelids. James Bond would have had all those young coeds for breakfast. Just. He used to just, you know, say, yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

I do feel like they kind of trick Connery into playing more of a wimp than he realizes by. By doing this bit of. He's kind of like the whole movie being like all these theatrics. It's unbecoming to do this adventure hero. Like, the intellectual aspect of it. Even if he's like Elsa first. It does have this vibe of just like he is a man of letters. He is smarter and more mature. And he's unimpressed with everything Indies him.

[Griffin Newman]

Alpha energy. I don't know how to use these guns and planes.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm saying.

[Griffin Newman]

And when they're in the car, he's just like, go faster.

[Chris Gethard]

You know, it's like perfect balance of the two things. They found A way to satisfy his I need to be the coolest guy note in a way that is funny and gives Indiana Jones more to fight against in terms of feeling low status.

[David Sims]

But I also think some of that is to give credit to the filmmakers and the choices surrounding it. Like, is not some of that intentional in the themes of like, nobody thinks their dad is cool.

[Griffin Newman]

Sure.

[David Sims]

When you're young.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[David Sims]

And then you grow up and realize maybe your dad has done some cool stuff. And then obviously the other side of the coin, which I think the idea of this being the fulcrum between son to father in Spielberg, you go in a movie that is weirdly almost all set pieces and almost all big adventure fun. That line Sean Connery has of like, I never even told him anything. It would have taken five minutes weirdly emotional to watch. As a dad right now who has thought a lot about my relationship with my father and my relationship with my son.

[Griffin Newman]

You.

[Chris Gethard]

You did a great one person show that is available for pelicans on Audible. On Audible. That is all about that. About you sort of re examining your relationship with your father through the prism of being a dad.

[David Sims]

That line always. I mean, I will also say, and I don't want to jump too far ahead. Like, I do have such a distinct. You know, when you learn how movies work, some of the magic goes away. I remember being nine years old and when the tank went off the cliff, I was, I was like, oh, oh. In the end you bought it is dead.

[Griffin Newman]

Okay.

[David Sims]

I had not. You were young enough, hadn't been trained that that was never gonna happen.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[David Sims]

So that, that moment really stands out to me. But re watching it today as a dad of like, I never. It would have taken five minutes.

[Chris Gethard]

Here's the other thing I think this movie is very clever about is like the real narrative spine of this thing, or let's say the emotional spine of this is that like Indiana Jones would tell you, I'm nothing like my father.

[Griffin Newman]

Right.

[Chris Gethard]

Hate my father. Hate.

[David Sims]

But he. My dad, I didn't really know.

[Griffin Newman]

I didn't know each other. He was not good at. He was not there for me.

[Chris Gethard]

And I think it's the brilliance of the opening sequence which kind of does this mislead of like Indiana Jones had one encounter with this random stranger who seems so cool and mythical that he modeled his whole life after him. And yet this movie is like Indiana Jones doesn't realize that he's become his father, that so much of what he does is informed by his father.

[David Sims]

He's like, he accuses his dad of like, you bailed and dodged all responsibility when the only reason he's here is because we watched him climb out of a window. To not do his job at the.

[Chris Gethard]

University and not to jump all the way to the end. But it's like the thing of Connery on the floor talking through the things he hopes Indiana Jones has digested about the Grail.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

So that he can make it through the traps and Indy's running in his head and it being this sort of silent, disconnected dialogue between the two of them.

[David Sims]

Although I would argue, Griffin, and we can pin this for later, I would actually argue that the narrative spine of this movie, strangely, is an ode to the wonders of transportation.

[Griffin Newman]

Okay, well, I'm interested in that.

[Chris Gethard]

You're lighting that up right now.

[Griffin Newman]

I want to just say the other. The prologue, the young Indiana Jones prologue is another George Lucas idea that Spielberg is also very resistant to. Kind of against Billber being like, I've kind of done that. Right. Like, I've done so much, you know, movies about kids and stuff like that.

[Chris Gethard]

Also, do we need to like explain Indiana Jones? Which I'm like, this is the good version of what I hate every time a modern franchise movie tries to do it. This movie somehow just like gives you 10 minutes with a lot of like, that's the first time with the whip. That's the first time with the hat. Here's how we got the scar. I love it so much. And part of it's that it's like they don't hit it with dialogue. That it's all visual and that it moves so fast. And that part of it is like dismantling him as like, this is like a show. This is like a posture, you know?

[David Sims]

Are there any other films you guys can think of that do the little mini movie before the movie, like Inglourious Basterds.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, there's. I feel like there's. I mean, my recent fave, the Empty Man.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

You know, I like movies that do that, that are kind of like. Right. Like we're gonna tell a whole contained little mood setting story.

[David Sims]

Some of the lore, some of the.

[Griffin Newman]

And I do feel like that's. I mean, that is a James Bond thing usually. So, like we're gonna have a whole little James Bond mission happen and then credits and then James Bond will begin the main mission, which may or may not be connected that much.

[Chris Gethard]

There's maybe more of it in horror, like the opening of Screams, a version of that. You know, the misdirect of like, this is your favorite. Lots of examples, but I do always love that this one is beloved.

[David Sims]

Right. In general, I would imagine there's any people that are like, the River Phoenix thing felt like extraneous.

[Chris Gethard]

Part of it is that River.

[Griffin Newman]

He's really good.

[Chris Gethard]

He had worked with him on Mosquito coast where he was his son, and like, they pitched this to Ford and he's like, A, I think River Phoenix is a great actor. B, that's the working actor in his age group who looks the most. Like, I looked at my. At that age.

[David Sims]

Have you guys looked up. I looked up the chubby wet friend.

[Griffin Newman]

The chubby wet.

[Chris Gethard]

He has really good.

[David Sims]

The. The story of that actor is pretty fascinating. Really fascinating.

[Griffin Newman]

Who's the actor? Do you remember?

[David Sims]

I. I'm remiss because I took a bunch of notes on my laptop, which I did not bring. But that actor. Look, if you.

[Chris Gethard]

Is it fascinating in a way where if we start talking about it on Mike, it would bum us out?

[David Sims]

No, I don't think so.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay.

[David Sims]

I think he. If I remember right now, he's like a fitness guru with a lot of opinions on having been in the Indiana Jones mini movie.

[Ben Hosley]

Was he credited as Chubby Wet?

[David Sims]

No, I forget his character's name, but he's just. I. I just. He's a chubby friend and he's strangely wet. He's sweaty to the degree of wetness through the entirety of the river. They're in the desert. Yeah. No, it's. It's a warranted wetness.

[Chris Gethard]

Can I. Sidebar to Jeff Bohm for a moment. Had like a killer fucking screenwriting career. And you look at this guy, he dies at 50. He's attacked, like, credited on all these, like, big Ambleny movies or sequels or whatever. And you're like, oh, this guy must have been like a Shane Black. Joe Esterhaus, like, died in a mountain of cocaine. Was like doing high paid script.

[Griffin Newman]

Punch up the answer.

[Chris Gethard]

No.

[Griffin Newman]

No. Okay. Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

He had like a bizarre, like, heart illness. He died young after a protracted battle. And then you read about him for being this guy who they, like, brought into fixed scripts and got paid so much and has all these huge credits. He sounds a lot closer to John Hughes, where it was like, didn't like the industry was a real family man. Just had really good story math instincts and all these things where they'd bring him a script that was like, this has been development for 10 years. The premise is great, but yet no one can crack it. We keep attaching talent, but we lose them. And he would just be like, here's the problem right here. And just immediately solve it, like, the emotions of it. And you can read his Wikipedia is really thorough and actually very well written and goes through, like, project by project and what his takes on each project. Very few he originated. And it was like, one of his things where he was like, henry Jones senior has to come through at the halfway point. Like, stuff like that, where he would just immediately go, that's the movie. And it's just kind of a tragic loss.

[Griffin Newman]

The thing about his screenplay, just to note, is that according to Spielberg, Tom Stoppard wrote every single line of dialogue in this film that I believe sort of like, at that point, Stoppard had written Empire of the sun for him. Like, Stoppard is right. So all those great lines we were talking about, I think a lot of that is coming from Tom Stoppard. Anyway. Spielberg, I think, recognizes after Temple of Doom. Oh, Denhelm Elliott should be in this movie. John Rhys Davis should be in this movie. I don't know why I didn't have his friends from the Raiders of the Lost Ark that everyone liked not be in the second movie.

[Chris Gethard]

You talking about being surprised at how late Connery comes in? I was surprised where I was like, in my memory, the whole second half of the movie is like, the four of them as a wrecking crew.

[David Sims]

Yeah. To me, it was much closer to the River Phoenix prologue. And then we're pretty quickly into this father story. It's like, oh, no, that's all after Venice and church and all this stuff.

[Chris Gethard]

And because it ends with, like, oh, the four of them riding off into the sunset, iconically, I'm like, all four of them are together for the whole second half. Right. And it's like, no denim and, like, John Rhys Davies are kind of off at their own thing. They only really all converge at the very end. But it is so nice to have both of them in there. And Spielberg's just so clearly aware of, like, these guys rule. The audience loves these characters. Let's give them more fun.

[Griffin Newman]

And. Which I think is a wise decision. Allison Doody, who plays Elsa, which let's.

[Chris Gethard]

Say, is funny to say. Funny to hear an Irish actress not to be disrespectful.

[Griffin Newman]

Her name is Allison Duty.

[Chris Gethard]

Her name is Allison Doo Doo.

[Griffin Newman]

There's no, you know, getting around.

[David Sims]

I can't. As someone whose last name spells get hard. I cannot participate in a last.

[Griffin Newman]

I'm not being mean.

[David Sims]

It is.

[Griffin Newman]

She made her debut as a sort of, like, small character in A View to a Kill.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Griffin Newman]

The Bond movie.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes. Which, when we did that Patreon series, I was like, who the is that started doing, like, wolf whistles? And then I was like, oh, it's Allison Duty.

[Griffin Newman]

And so I guess she's kind of getting cast off of that sort of interest. She is kind of plucked out of relative appearance. Doesn't really have.

[Chris Gethard]

With Spielberg at the time, he was like, I want a Grace Kelly. I found this woman. She looks like Grace Kelly.

[Griffin Newman]

She does have the look, like Geth was saying, like, to a T, you know, she.

[Chris Gethard]

But also, this character is gonna be a weird fantasy. You know, it's like. Right.

[David Sims]

It is. Again, we'll get there. But she is obviously an extraordinarily attractive human being and is playing an object of affection for multiple characters in this movie. But a costumer made a choice to say, she shall be at her most smoking hot while in full Nazi regalia.

[Griffin Newman]

River Phoenix, obviously brought to Spielberg by Harrison Ford. Julian Glover, obviously had been in the Empire Strikes Back, right?

[David Sims]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, we. We had him.

[Griffin Newman]

Do I think he'd interviewed for other, like, parts in Indiana Jones movies before? Like, he was very on their radar.

[Chris Gethard]

We had him on George Lucas talk show, a thing that I've told you, and you went like, that's kind of depressing.

[David Sims]

Donovan, you had Colonel and the weird place. Colonel Veers, right?

[Chris Gethard]

No, he. Yes, correct.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Griffin Newman]

He's the guy in the ATAT who's.

[Chris Gethard]

Like, your favorite character.

[Griffin Newman]

No, my favorite.

[Chris Gethard]

No, no.

[Griffin Newman]

Admiral Pierre. I'm sorry, Admiral Piet is way.

[David Sims]

I mean, they are companion characters.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

But your favorite thing in Star wars is that sidebar of Empire of the Empire 2 Jedi.

[Griffin Newman]

He's in both.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Griffin Newman]

The fact that he's just the guy who. Someone gets killed next to him, and then it's like you're in charge and.

[Chris Gethard]

He'S like, David wrote a very good.

[Griffin Newman]

Piece at the Atlanta Ballad of Admiral PI. One of my best pieces. And then, like, he makes it all the way to the end of Jedi. Like, he keeps dodging Vader strangling him, even though he fucked up himself.

[David Sims]

He's in the corporate machine, climbing the corporate ladder, trying to stay out of the way, which is a very relatable thing. Anyone who has ever worked in.

[Griffin Newman]

He's the only Star Wars Empire. An Empire. I mean, member of the Empire that they bother to give any arc. Everyone else tends to just kind of die.

[David Sims]

David, I guess I just don't understand your obsession with bringing up Star Wars.

[Griffin Newman]

I love Admiral Pietz.

[David Sims]

Speaking of favorite Star wars characters, though, this movie has a Kit Fisto, everybody. Who is Kazim?

[Chris Gethard]

Kazim is your fisto.

[David Sims]

Kazim is the. He's pretty cool of this movie.

[Chris Gethard]

I thought you were gonna say that. Grail Knight is your Fisto.

[Griffin Newman]

There's. So the Grail Knight is cool.

[David Sims]

The Grail Knights may be the saddest character in the history.

[Chris Gethard]

We need to save this. But when I threw the list to Geth and was like, we're doing Spielberg, what do you want? You responded with a Grail Knight specific. There's so much a statement that might sound hyperbolic, but that I kind of agree with you.

[David Sims]

What did I say?

[Chris Gethard]

I'll remind you, but it was your whole reason for wanting to do this movie. You didn't tell me the stuff with your dad. This being such a pivotal experience. You focused on the girl night and you had a take and I said, you have to do that episode.

[David Sims]

It's. I have so much to say about the grill night. But what.

[Chris Gethard]

Maybe Kazim is like the Sassy 10.

[David Sims]

Kazim is the guy. He's the Kid Fisto, though, where he shows up, doesn't get much screen time.

[Griffin Newman]

I mean, you're kind of like, I want to see like this guy where.

[David Sims]

I'm like, I would watch whatever this brotherhood of the Cruciform Sword is. Give me a. Give me an endor for the Cruciform Sword crew.

[Chris Gethard]

I think I can say this.

[David Sims]

Who's Kazim? He has fucked shit up in his life. He will do so again. And now he's gone. That's Kid Fisto.

[Chris Gethard]

Years ago, auditioned for what they had said was untitled Star wars project. And when I read the sides, I was like, this is clearly a young Indiana Jones show.

[Griffin Newman]

Huh, huh?

[Chris Gethard]

And it was going to be animated. And then I think as like, Dial of Destiny was kind of getting complicated. They were like, let's just focus on this and not do the sideshow. But there was going to be a Disney plus animated, sort of like River Phoenix esque rather than young Indiana Jones esque.

[David Sims]

And after X Men 97, I think they could pull it off. X Men 97, some of the best television.

[Griffin Newman]

But there's nothing like X Men 97, where it's like people are not only nostalgic for the sort of old throwback X Men, they're nostalgic for the 90s cartoon aesthetics, the 90s cartoon plotting. Like, it's like, it's not just that X Men 97 is like, oh, let's sort of like do a new X Men. It's like no, no, we're picking up the thread. Very strange, that show.

[Chris Gethard]

Weirdly, it.

[David Sims]

Again, we're very bold to go. It's not a new show.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

It's like sort of just bringing it back. Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And also, we're just like picking good comic storylines that were.

[David Sims]

Everyone who likes this has aged by 25 to 30 years. So, like, we'll do some stuff. You can handle 25 to 30.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

It'll be more.

[Griffin Newman]

It's.

[David Sims]

It was a wild swing.

[Griffin Newman]

It was good.

[Chris Gethard]

The thing that was very funny about the Indiana Jones cartoon thing was usually, you know, you'll get these breakdowns and I'll be like, untitled Lucasfilm project. And you read it and you're like, this is Star Wars. But they're trying to hide that it's Star Wars.

[David Sims]

Yes. This space bears famously right this.

[Chris Gethard]

They sent out as untitled Star wars cartoon show. And I was like, oh, cool. I'm auditioning for a Star wars cartoon show. And then I read the sides and they gave all the characters alien names. But they talked about being at a university and studying adventurers and wanting to collect relics. And I was like, you're using Star wars as a cover for it being Indiana Jones and you've named all the characters like Blork. Blork. But I was like, I think I'm reading for either young Salah or young Brody. It was one or the other.

[David Sims]

You're young. Your Watto experience could make you a fantastic animated Salah.

[Chris Gethard]

I think so. But this show has just not happen. David.

[Griffin Newman]

What?

[Chris Gethard]

This episode's brought to you by MUBI.

[Griffin Newman]

Hello, Mooby.

[Chris Gethard]

Once again, here we are in March 2025, and we are so happy that MUBI continues to sponsor the show. They are a curated streaming service dedicated to elevating great cinema from around the globe. From iconic directors to emerging auteurs.

[Griffin Newman]

There's always something new to discover with movie. Each and every film is hand selected so you can explore the best of cinema streaming anytime, anywhere. And that's fine. You can go to movie. You can watch great movies. It's really great.

[Chris Gethard]

But they find it's great.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, it's great. Fantastic. But they've also got movies, movies which are in theaters and then stream exclusively on movies such as Academy Award winner the Substance. Might have heard of it.

[Chris Gethard]

It's quite a big breakthrough.

[Griffin Newman]

Carly Fauger's movie from 2024 was nominated for best Picture, Best Director. Best Actress.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Griffin Newman]

One for best makeup.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes. If you somehow anymore have not seen the substance yet, the place you gotta go is Mubi.

[Griffin Newman]

Yep. Yeah, it's streaming exclusively there. I think it's actually back in theaters for a short time because of the Oscars. But you've got Demi, you've got Dennis Quaid, you got Margaret Cauley, you got this gonzo script script. You got this crazy lurid imagery. This, you know, in insane satire. It's a wild movie. It's a must see.

[Chris Gethard]

Griff's mom approved.

[Griffin Newman]

Oh, fascinating.

[Chris Gethard]

I took her to see it. I thought she was going to walk out and she gave it two grossed out thumbs up.

[Griffin Newman]

So you can check all that out. And of course, to stream great films at home, you can try movie free for 30 days. That's M u b I.com blank check for a month of great cinema for free.

[Chris Gethard]

Mubi. David.

[Griffin Newman]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

Do you mind if I try out some new impressions on you? I've been working on some impressions for my mad TV audition. I think they're gonna bring it back again. Okay, ready? Here's my first impression.

[Griffin Newman]

What's that?

[Chris Gethard]

That's me shopping for glasses.

[Griffin Newman]

In the past, it used to be so bad.

[Chris Gethard]

Unhappy, stressed, Miserable, angry. But here's a new impression.

[Griffin Newman]

And why do you feel that way now?

[Chris Gethard]

And describe my face. What am I doing?

[Griffin Newman]

You're happy. Smile.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm grinning because I'm shopping at Warby.

[Griffin Newman]

Parker when and what, what happened?

[Chris Gethard]

Warby Parker changed all that. See, this is the impression Grumpy guy. And Warby Parker changed all that into this.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah. So Warby Parker, the glasses store, they.

[Chris Gethard]

Use nothing but premium materials in every frame. Warby Parker designs every frame in house. Their collection includes silhouettes, colors and fits made to suit every face. This is true. I exclusively wear Warby Parker glasses. Made the jump probably 10 years ago. Glasses shopping used to be a thing that drove me crazy. And Warby has great options. They refresh constantly. But it's also, they are more affordable. They cut out the middleman. They're high quality. But you don't feel the same kind of pressure I always used to feel picking glasses going, oh, my God, gonna have to stick to these for a decade. They're durable.

[Ben Hosley]

But it's not just glasses.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah. Because I don't wear eyeglasses, but I wear sunglasses well. And I do have some great, a couple of great pairs of Warby sunglasses. And I'm busting out now that the weather's good again.

[Chris Gethard]

They look, I will say you go to any of their physical locations, they have incredible employees who are so good at genuinely just looking at your face and going, you know what? Would work. They understand the sort of the geometrics of the glasses and of the human skull. And you can get wide fit and wide, the bridged boxier. You know, whatever your type is, they provide eye exams. Many Warby Parker locations offer comprehensive eye exams starting at $85. And Warby Parker has over 250 retail locations across the US and Canada where you can get styled by one of their friendly expert advisors. Look, you can get started with Warby Parker's virtual try on. You can try on glasses and sunglasses, seeing the realistic color, texture and size of each style right from home right now. I currently am rocking the Durand. That's been my frame of choice for the last couple of years. But here's the thing I like. In the past, they've offered both the Griffin and the Newman.

[Griffin Newman]

Oh, that's fun.

[Chris Gethard]

Isn't that fun?

[Griffin Newman]

And the Durand, of course, is named after character actor Kevin Durant.

[Chris Gethard]

You know what, David? Every time I look at the glasses, I think that that guy's great. He's incredible.

[Ben Hosley]

Well, I gotta tell you, Griff, and I've said it before, glasses really compliment your face.

[Chris Gethard]

Hey, thank you very much. It's that Warby Parker magic. And if you're not close to a location, you can do the virtual try on at home. They can send you a couple pairs, no risk, no cost, see how they look on you, send them back, get the one you want.

[Griffin Newman]

You can try on glasses and sunglasses, seeing the realistic color, texture and size of each style right from home right now. Or head over to warbyparker.com check right now to take the home try on quiz and pick five pairs of frames to try on at home for free. That's warbyparker.com check. Warbyparker.com check.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm going to push back on Kazim being the Fisto. And I'm going to say this. I'm, I'm going to explain my reasoning behind this. Not that he's not your fisto, but in terms of his function in relation to the movie. And it's what I like about Kazim. Okay, okay. Is that like you're saying, always mysterious? I'd love to watch a whole series about him. He's like, he goes a little deeper than this character does in the other Indiana Jones films. The characters that occupy this kind of role. Right. We joked about in the other episodes that, like, outside of your main, like, intellectual rival in the Indiana Jones movies, most of the iconic Indiana Jones villains don't have names. It's like German mechanic and monkey man and like thuggy guard. Right.

[David Sims]

Guy who swings things around until he gets shot.

[Chris Gethard]

Swordsman. I mean truly like the merch doesn't even name them, which Lucas loves doing. They all are just the description of who they are and you get nothing more. Right. And even if you're spending a whole sequence with the fucking guy and there's a sense of character, you're like, this guy is defined by his. What he wears or what his job is or what he holds and that is his whole fucking prism. The fact that Kazim like introduces himself and starts to explain himself a little already makes him a little less mysterious. And you're just like, oh, I'm not used to like Indiana Jones like side goons being fleshed out to this degree. And I similarly think it's a nice surprise when he pops back up again.

[David Sims]

When you're like so blatantly facing away from camera until he.

[Chris Gethard]

But you're like, I was ready to never see Kazim again. But I think, I think the Fisto thing is that like, see, we have.

[David Sims]

A, I think a fundamental misunderstanding of what the Fisto is as a film archetype, which I think everyone would agree. That is a film archetype. It is, it is.

[Chris Gethard]

Let's unpack.

[David Sims]

But I just think the idea of like, who's that person? They're visual, they're visually intriguing, they're.

[Chris Gethard]

Kazim looks great.

[David Sims]

Looks great. And also both Kazim and Fisto, those parts were written small, but I would argue that the actors, the actors squeezed more juice. The actors squeezed more juice out of that than ever was intended by the.

[Chris Gethard]

Screenwriter direct Juicero machine performance.

[David Sims]

Dude, these. The Fisto is the juicer of the movie who squeezed more juice than you ever thought. And Kazim squeezed so much more juice and intrigued the audience to a degree where much like Fisto in the prequel trilogies, you can't help but walk away and go, there are parts of the plot I don't remember and I've been looking forward for decades to learn the plot of this. But what I do remember is that that green guy with those tendrils was cool.

[Griffin Newman]

Kit Fisto, except for this is his reaction to Palpatine, you know, attacking with a lightsaber. Yeah, I mean it's the worst part of the movie.

[David Sims]

I would argue.

[Chris Gethard]

I would impression of Kissim's death in.

[David Sims]

This, I would say maybe equally overwhelming compared to his punching above his weight and earning a little bit more in the audiences.

[Griffin Newman]

Oh, dead fair in the Mummy.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Griffin Newman]

Is kind of a plussed up version of this character.

[Chris Gethard]

He's Kazim as like lead or anything.

[Griffin Newman]

In the whole movie where it's like, right, they're going to the Mummy's tomb and a guy shows up who's like, my entire life job is making sure nobody fucking goes to the Mummy's tomb. Both. I know how scary it is. And it's this sort of like, holy thing for me.

[Chris Gethard]

You're right, though. It's one of the smart things the Mummy does is it makes Kazim have.

[Griffin Newman]

That character basically join the team.

[Chris Gethard]

It makes Kazim the song.

[Griffin Newman]

And then he can show up. Sure.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm gonna say one more time.

[Griffin Newman]

Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

Kind of makes Kazim the salt.

[David Sims]

Can I also put another thing out here that I never thought I'd have an opportunity to say? And this did just occur to me. This was not pre planned.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[David Sims]

As we establish the archetype of the fisto, the reason that the movie the warriors is such a cult classic that has stood the test of time, even with the director's cuts. Trying to make it worse is it's a movie comprised almost entirely of fistos.

[Chris Gethard]

I think it is fair to say that movie is an oops. All fistos.

[David Sims]

That movie is even half the main characters are fistos.

[Chris Gethard]

Something went wrong at the Cap and Crunch Factory and now the whole movie is made out of fist.

[Ben Hosley]

That entire gather. Gathering. That happens like it's a physical convention. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[David Sims]

Oh, this is my dream conversation. Can you dig it? No, no, no.

[Griffin Newman]

We're not getting to grail.

[David Sims]

We're not getting to grail.

[Griffin Newman]

Movie.

[David Sims]

The city is yours. If you fistos can count.

[Chris Gethard]

I will say just come out and play.

[Griffin Newman]

To return to the dossier. This film was shot.

[David Sims]

Don't want to go down a combo. Warriors.

[Griffin Newman]

Kid.

[David Sims]

Fisto. Rabbit hole in your Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade episode.

[Griffin Newman]

This film is shot in 63 days, which is fairly impressive given the scale.

[Chris Gethard]

Spielberg.

[Griffin Newman]

The vibe from the set is literally basically everyone's just like, we had a great time. Everyone got along and it went really well. Like, there is no drama emerging from Last Crusade. Ford and Connery are like, we clicked right away. We both liked what we were doing.

[Chris Gethard]

Can I put forward, obviously at the.

[Griffin Newman]

Absolute peak, I think at this point of like, give this man an action secret. Will run it like a machine.

[Chris Gethard]

Can I put forth a movie? Analog.

[Griffin Newman]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

Ocean 13 and Last Crusade, I think are similar.

[Griffin Newman]

Yes. I mean, Last Crusade's better than Ocean 13. I do like Ocean.

[Chris Gethard]

No, I think Last Crusade's a much better version of this. But like, we tried something different with the second one and people were less into it. We're sorry. We're gonna give you the exact Indiana Jones sequel we think you want, you know, and I think there is that, like freedom. Especially because he's coming off of some grown up movies where he's like, it'd be fun to play with toys again. And like, he makes Schindler's List. So shortly after this, things like making the Nazi woman hot.

[David Sims]

The merchandising line from Schindler's List notoriously bombed.

[Griffin Newman]

I. I will say Spielberg insisted on.

[David Sims]

I did get you the last time.

[Chris Gethard]

He's able to kind of have this sort of.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, but that's what classic. That's what I don't like about this movie, is it? Some of it feels a little right. I don't know.

[Chris Gethard]

Punching below is.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, it's below.

[David Sims]

Can I say one other thing too? If in the movie the warriors you replaced every time they said the word boppers with the word fistos, everything about that movie not only still works, but gets better. I'll move on, I'll move on.

[Chris Gethard]

Holding up a noose.

[David Sims]

I'll move on, I'll move on.

[Griffin Newman]

I don't care about this. No, my point about Last Crusade. Spielberg insists or has the idea of including a moment that I really think is interesting in Last Crusade, which is when you see when they're in Berlin, like books being burned, which is this moment of unlevity, right? Like where you're like Jesus fucking Christ almost every other moment. The Nazis in this movie are cartoon nobodies, right? Who are literally just like bowling pins for indie to knock down old crusty guys too.

[David Sims]

He makes them like feeble and old.

[Griffin Newman]

Really toothless in this movie in a way that's interesting compared to even Raiders, where they're quite sinister and like, you know, good villains. And certainly given that he's beginning to think about things like Schindler's list. This is 89 and Schindler's list is 93. I don't have a problem with it. It's not like I'm like, oh, this movie is, you know, offensive. Like, you know, with its cartoon Nazis. I'm just kind of like. It does feel like Spielberg has run out of things to do with that sort of stuff. Like it's like it's a little paint by numbers that they're so silly. I mean, this movie is silly. This movie has a very good tone to it that it doesn't deviate from.

[David Sims]

Even the book burning scene though. I'm like, it has this. It puts a pit in your stomach and it has since I was a kid.

[Griffin Newman]

It does.

[David Sims]

And they're marching and it's one of.

[Griffin Newman]

The only moments that really does that.

[David Sims]

But then it goes on so long that you do start to realize like even with all this, they're just marching in a circle, sniffing their own farts.

[Griffin Newman]

Right There is like.

[David Sims]

You don't think there's any part of Spielberg that's like these Nazis?

[Griffin Newman]

I think there is. I just.

[David Sims]

They're toothless. And our two main heroes, each leap is one of them.

[Chris Gethard]

I, I think.

[David Sims]

You know, have we talked?

[Chris Gethard]

I think the Nazis are scarier. And raiders. I think. I think weirdly I agree with you that there's sort of like a more pointed kind of like these clowns.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

In a way, as much as he makes them goofier. And this movie has so much more of a like cartoon tone. He. It does feel like he's attacking them in personality and like culturally a lot more. I even think the like Hitler signing.

[Griffin Newman]

The grail diary thing, an insane moment.

[Chris Gethard]

Is like a moment of just like, right, this guy's just like a narcissist. Right? Like all of this just came out of this guy with like a complex who like literally when handed the thing he's hired goons to find for him, still just thinks that some.

[Griffin Newman]

Right.

[David Sims]

There's also. I just on like a contextual note, I. This movie, I did realize I'm like, oh, these guys who are actors who go to school for it, who train, who work really hard, who get to it and a level where they can be in major motion pictures and then they happen to look enough like Hitler to credibly play it.

[Griffin Newman]

Well, you never wanted a phone call.

[David Sims]

You know what I mean? I'm like, damn, man, that's a typecasting. That's real weird.

[Chris Gethard]

We've. We've talked about in other recent episodes, like the world of people who are that for Lincoln. And that's a much better silo to be in.

[David Sims]

There's Hitler. You know, there's a casting off, like.

[Chris Gethard]

You'Ll book, but you gotta keep putting on that little mustache.

[Griffin Newman]

But I just wanna. I just want to tell you guys something that seems you do not know. Do you know who plays Hitler in this movie?

[Chris Gethard]

I always forget.

[Griffin Newman]

It's Michael Sheard is the name of the actor. But do you know another role that he played? He plays Ozzel. Admiral Ozzel. The Empire strike again.

[David Sims]

David, you're really pushing the Star wars thing.

[Griffin Newman]

Who is the guy who comes out of lightspeed too fast.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

Fucks up, gets killed so that Admiral.

[David Sims]

PX gets used to even tell me who Admiral Ozzel is.

[Griffin Newman]

I'm just saying I don't think that guy played Hitler.

[David Sims]

Again, I have not always been respectful on this show. I've not always been the most respectful guest. That's one of the most let me just remind anyone's ever done to me.

[Griffin Newman]

Let me just remind you that our show is being listened to by people who may not immediately know who Admiral Ozzle is.

[David Sims]

Speaking of Star wars admirals, I recently did text Bobby Moynihan and I'm not someone who smokes weed at all. I just texted Bobby the other day. What if Admiral Akbar wasn't an actor? What if that was a real guy? What if you were like Al Mined at Trader Joe's and the guy checking out front of you and you had to. You could be like he big fan.

[Chris Gethard]

I don't know if I can repeat it, but Bobby Mohan's a bar B. He used to do at the ucp. Oh, no, no, no, no. I can't say. But was incredibly good. Can I close two loops on two things here, David?

[Griffin Newman]

I. I shudder.

[Chris Gethard]

Things that have already been set up.

[Griffin Newman]

What?

[Chris Gethard]

So Julian Sands was on George Lucas talk show, right?

[Griffin Newman]

It was Julian S. No, I'm sorry.

[Chris Gethard]

Julian Glover. I'm sorry. When I told you that you were like, that's depressing for him that he had to be interviewed by you guys and I think was in London. We're doing an all day stream of people who have been in movies with Harrison Ford and using that as the thread. So we talked to him about like both Star wars and Indiana Jones. He said that Donovan is easily his favorite role he's ever played in his career.

[Griffin Newman]

He's really, really good.

[Chris Gethard]

And for a guy who's a classically trained, I expect him to sort of be like, well, those are like fun, silly movies I did for money. And they're like serious roles I prefer. And he was like, no. It was so great to be the main baddie in an Indiana Jones movie and feel like he has fun with the turn.

[Griffin Newman]

Look, he's really good. I think he's a great villain. He's probably. It's weird. He is the main villain.

[Chris Gethard]

He is.

[Griffin Newman]

And at the same time it's like.

[Chris Gethard]

You have Vogel and you have.

[Griffin Newman]

And Allison Duty is kind of more than like the right. The active villain in a way. But he's really good. And the Turn is really clever with him.

[Chris Gethard]

I think now to this point of what we were saying about this movie's, like, take on the Nazi Nazis. I think this character is sort of like a heightening of Belloq, right. Where it's like, this guy has, like, a lot less swag than Belloq. He's a lot less cool. He's just kind of a dork in a certain way. He's like a rich dork hobbyist.

[Griffin Newman]

That's the thing. He's. He's like all these jerks we have to deal with now where it's like.

[David Sims]

It's very weird where I'm like, you.

[Griffin Newman]

Don'T even have an ideology. Probably. You became a Nazi because you want the Holy Grail.

[David Sims]

Because I just want to live forever. And we're living in an era where some of these billionaire are trying to figure out how to live.

[Chris Gethard]

Belloc is sort of just like. I don't. You know, when Indian drums is like, you're working with Nazis. He's just sort of like, I don't think about things that. Right, Right. Like, Donovan is like, coming up with moral justice.

[Griffin Newman]

I joined the club so that I can, like, get the Holy Grail.

[Chris Gethard]

Right. And then has this terrifying line of like, I'll be living forever long after the Nazi party is dead. Like, it doesn't matter what I did to support. Support them. But you also have him, like, set up in the movie. The way the film introduces him, it feels like he is the guy who sends Indiana Jones on the mission, not the guy who's gonna be his rival Time. Right. And you're like, he fits into that role of just being the guy who, like, introduces the McGuffin.

[David Sims]

But of course, it's a little too slick.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, it's a little too.

[Chris Gethard]

But I'm like, I. I think there's something fun to this character being like, these guys are not cool at all. And people who do this are, like, morally bankrupt and, like, uninteresting.

[Griffin Newman]

All right, can I just.

[David Sims]

Just before we move on totally from one other thought, I just got to give props. Admiral Ozel and Hitler. That's a hell of an im.

[Griffin Newman]

I was gonna say.

[David Sims]

That's what I was put on the tombstone. I was.

[Griffin Newman]

Don't think that's an actor who did a lot of Hitler. He had a broad British. Whatever.

[Chris Gethard]

This was the other thing that.

[Griffin Newman]

This was the other adds Hitler in.

[Chris Gethard]

There that Glover said was just like, Spielberg was really loyal or. I'm sorry, Lucas was really loyal to those guys.

[Griffin Newman]

His British character actor guy and that.

[Chris Gethard]

He was saying, like, Stephen, we're hiring Glover. You know, like my, my guys we've had in London have just been.

[David Sims]

I love the idea that George Lucas calls that guy up. He's like, I got your back. I'm going to get you back in. It's going to be a blockbuster. You're going to make residuals and you're.

[Griffin Newman]

Playing a really well known character.

[David Sims]

Yo.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[David Sims]

So you're be Adolf Hitler.

[Chris Gethard]

Well, clearly I must have like some meaty monologues, right? You're like, it's kind of a non speaking.

[Griffin Newman]

What's the other loop?

[David Sims]

It's an under five.

[Chris Gethard]

It's an under.

[Griffin Newman]

Other loop you wanted to close.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm trying to remember. I'll come back.

[Griffin Newman]

Forget it.

[Chris Gethard]

Don't forget. I'll remember. Not the opposite.

[Griffin Newman]

Let's not jump to the end. The whole thing with Last Crusade is like as much as it has lots of fun stuff. I do feel like 80% of what everyone wants to talk about is just the grail scene because it's such a little short story of a scene. Right. And it's so weird. And also if you minute you start to overthink it, you're like, I'm sorry, Elsa's just like this one. And he's like, yeah, I believe you.

[Chris Gethard]

I remember.

[Griffin Newman]

Aren't you supposed to be like rich and smart?

[David Sims]

I remember all along those rocks.

[Chris Gethard]

We'll get to it. I remember the other thing more relevant in two earlier episodes, but make sense within the context of what we're talking about here. I forgot to mention these two. 1941. Have you ever seen it?

[David Sims]

Guess I have not.

[Griffin Newman]

Blank Spielberg film.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, Spielberg's first attempt at like making Nazis villains in a kind of like popcorn movie. That isn't going to take it seriously, right?

[Griffin Newman]

Well, they're barely. It's only that film is more about.

[Chris Gethard]

The Japanese, but Christopher Lee plays a Nazi officer who's working with the Japanese and it just like doesn't work. And Chris Farley, obviously like one of the greatest. He's doing his best and he's introduced speaking German and you're just like, I can't wait to hate Christopher Lee as a comedy Nazi. And it doesn't connect. Spielberg wrote and shot and cut Christopher Lee in 1941. Doing the exact tote coat hanger bit. He was like, here's a really funny idea. You have a twisted Nazi character, He takes out a device, you think he's gonna torture the guy. There's this whole interrogation subplot in that movie. And Then it turns out it's just a coat hanger. And this guy cares about his fancy clothes more. And he was like, I thought it was so funny. I put in the movie. It fell fucking flat. It was silent. It was dead. And I couldn't get over it. And I was like, I have to make this joke work in something. And then I was like, raiders. We built this character, Toad. It would work for him, right? And it was like. It fucking played like gangbusters. I wasn't gonna throw that out. That speaks to his, like, growth in learning how to calibrate. How can you do Nazis in a movie where you're not dealing with the full weight and severity of what they did, but you're also not completely turning them into, like, silly bullshit? Right? Which 1941. That's a larger problem with that movie. It doesn't know how to deal with serious issues in a funny way. Raiders does it in a more scary way, but pulpy. This movie, I think, has the right version of, like, comedy Nazis because it does take more potshots at their expense.

[David Sims]

There's also just something. I do think there's something to note about. There's a documentary, I believe, called the Last Laugh, all about how Jewish comedians deal with Holocaust jokes. And seeing someone of Spielberg's generation come about as a very prominent Jewish director and see him sort out how to portray Nazis throughout the course of his career, there's just something obvious to be said about culturally. It's fascinating and, like, there's no real way to get it right. And just see him like, that does represent, on some level, feeling for.

[Griffin Newman]

I think Julian Glover is fun. I think Allison Doody is fun. I don't think. Just my big note for this movie. It's not even a big note. I don't care. I like this movie. I think it's funny. I think it's a good movie. It's just. I don't. There's nothing scary about the villainy in it, really. So there's just a lot of stakes.

[Chris Gethard]

But the whole second half, it's like, no. But the major conflict becomes him figuring out with his dad.

[Griffin Newman]

That conflicts. That stuff is fine.

[Chris Gethard]

That sort of supplants the who's the bad guy?

[Griffin Newman]

That is then completely resolved after the tank goes off the cliff. Like, after that, they are. They are settled.

[David Sims]

I think part of it, David.

[Griffin Newman]

And then we just do the Grail, which is fun. But at that point, they. The Nazis. I'm not, like, scared of them at all.

[David Sims]

Well, one thing that really stands out to me, though, is just a big show, don't tell note of. They basically say if the Nazis get the Holy Grail, they kind of indicate now they'll be able to have these Nazi super soldiers that can't die.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, but they.

[David Sims]

Where you're just like, that's. As a viewer, I'm never buying that that's gonna happen.

[Griffin Newman]

That's the thing with Raiders and they just. The other thing with Raiders. There's this kind of. There is this more gripping, like, we both. We. Someone's gonna get to this weird thing first and Lord knows what's in it. But, like, the Nazis have designs on its power with the Holy Grail, right? There's this sort of like, wow, what if someone got the Holy Grail? I'm like, what if someone got.

[Chris Gethard]

What do you mean?

[Griffin Newman]

That he lives forever? Like, okay, one guy, like.

[David Sims]

I mean, you gotta have like your whole army come drink from the Holy Grail at this point.

[Griffin Newman]

And then of course, they get there and it's like, yeah, you can live forever if you stay right the here in this place. And you cannot leave.

[Chris Gethard]

Cross the seal.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, you can't cross the seal. But like, that's the. The Grail myth is always that, you.

[David Sims]

Know, when it's time to start talking about that scene. I don't want to step on toes.

[Griffin Newman]

The Grail myth is, you know, in Arthurian legend all the way to this. It's always right. It's like, oh, well, that would be great. And then you get there and you're like, I guess I didn't think hard about why this would be great, because it's not great. Like, this wasn't worth it. And the journey is the destination. Yeah, the destination of the journey.

[David Sims]

And all that ties back into. Into the Nazi thing, though, because how much of it. There's also something fascinating too, to watch of like, hey, prominent Jewish filmmaker dealing with Nazis also in a movie that presupposes that Christian mythology is happening, that there is a Holy Grail that has magical powers and.

[Chris Gethard]

Right. The original Raiders is Old Testament. It is far more rabbinical in, like, the nature is Jewish. Right.

[Griffin Newman]

Temple is Hindu. This is Christian. There's like a thing. There's like a.

[David Sims]

Choices are made.

[Griffin Newman]

Choices. And then Temple of Skull kind of.

[Chris Gethard]

I mean, this is the thing that people always point out of, like, the. The disconnect between the original trilogy and the two later Old man indie movies more than anything is like, the first three are all about, like, I don't believe in religion.

[Griffin Newman]

Right.

[Chris Gethard]

It's like the Supernatural, but through specifically the prison.

[Griffin Newman]

I believe in religious artifacts that people cared about and hid away. And like, there's, you know, runic languages and they're. But. Right. I don't actually think that the Holy Grail is going to keep me alive.

[Chris Gethard]

But you're close.

[Griffin Newman]

Every time.

[Chris Gethard]

It's like, oh, specific religious stories that, you know, like, versus the latter two are like, there's a thing he may or may not believe in, but it's a lot fudgier of like a time travel device or aliens. This movie is like. It benefits from being like, yeah, Arthurian legend that's, like, so baked in.

[David Sims]

But it does almost feel like it gets to the end. And even Spielberg himself is kind of like. And I guess you drink from the holy gr. Like, it feels like a guy who has no certain.

[Griffin Newman]

No investment is so goofy. And I think it works. But it is like, on paper, you're just like, this is really silly.

[David Sims]

We talk about the.

[Chris Gethard]

With the River Phoenix stuff. River Phoenix stuff, which feels like. Like Spielberg dusting off the cobwebs and being like, you want fun Spielberg? Here's fun Spielberg. They're on top of a circus train.

[Griffin Newman]

All the way back transportation, all the way back to, you know, the Greatest show on Earth. The big circus train sequence in that were the first cinematic sequence that impacted him.

[Chris Gethard]

But he's also just loading, like, everything up. He's like, I'm gonna give you all the fun. When you're on top of a moving train that has animals inside of it.

[David Sims]

If you ask me, like, what's the big set piece, chase, transportation thing In Last Crusade, in my mind, as a fan since I'm nine, I go, oh, the tank one. And then you rewatch it, you're like, they got a train motorcycle, motorcycle sidecar. They got a plant blimp.

[Chris Gethard]

You blimp, blimp, blimp.

[Griffin Newman]

They got a blimpy plot.

[David Sims]

Then the. Then the.

[Griffin Newman]

Then the.

[David Sims]

Then the planes. This movie is arguably about transportation.

[Chris Gethard]

You're locking David back in. He's leaning in.

[Griffin Newman]

I hear what you.

[David Sims]

Transportation infrastructure. It's a love letter to the history of transportation.

[Griffin Newman]

And camels. Indy doesn't like camels.

[David Sims]

I mean, there is a running theme, though, of, like, nature's vehicle. Hey, rats come and help you. Horses come and help you.

[Griffin Newman]

Like, do the rats help? I guess they sort of.

[David Sims]

Well, the rats give them the heads up that the fire is on the way. Right.

[Chris Gethard]

The running rats, like, are pointedly not. There is Nazi cooperative also.

[David Sims]

Like, hey, the Nazis have all this tech, but animals Like Indiana Joe, he's a more.

[Griffin Newman]

Well, and just like. Like Indy uses a gun. He will use a gun, but it's not really his primary thing.

[David Sims]

Inelegant. It's like a blaster.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah. Random inelegant.

[David Sims]

No, but, like.

[Griffin Newman]

Because when I'm now playing the Indiana Jones video game, which has been.

[Chris Gethard]

I didn't mean to ask.

[Griffin Newman]

Which is really, really good.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

And in that game, you don't have a gun initially, you know, you can get one. It's not like. Again, but it's sort of like. Right. You're like, no, Inti has, like a whip and he, like, picks shit up and, you know, improvises. Right. Like, he'll have a shovel or like a statue or something like, about him.

[Chris Gethard]

He's on. He's on the back of his heels, right.

[Griffin Newman]

And, you know, he just needs his. His whip, his fedora. I mean, is it a little cute than in the River Phoenix sequence? It ends with, like, the sort of Indiana Jones type guy being like, all right, take my hat.

[David Sims]

You lost today, kid.

[Griffin Newman]

You know, you have to like it.

[David Sims]

Is that one.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[David Sims]

Always stuck with me, man.

[Griffin Newman]

Is that a little too cute? Am I just kind of sick of that stuff? Because now it's the backbone of all these Legacy.

[David Sims]

Get joy, though, No, I enjoyed this movie Going Home, but it makes.

[Griffin Newman]

It makes you think a little bit. I mean, about, like, I always wanted to know where he got his jacket.

[Chris Gethard]

And, you know, I. I will agree with you that it is the only moment in the sequence that butts up against being a step too cute for me, where I'm like, the guy doesn't have to hand him the hat. I can be like. And then later, he bought a hat because he thought it looked cool on that guy.

[Griffin Newman]

But Spielberg likes to put it totally on things.

[Chris Gethard]

But I also like that that sequence ends with, like, here's this, like, thrilling adventure and he's, like, starting to develop his love for, like, you know, this whole way of life and the, like, you know, finding a different way to express his love and respect for history and these objects than his father, who's more purely academic.

[David Sims]

It's also funny to realize, too, and I'm sure this is something that I have a blind sp to. I occasionally don't realize there's already Internet dialogues about things, but he's a really terrible archaeologist. Have we discussed this?

[Chris Gethard]

This was part of your text.

[David Sims]

He's really, really, really bad at being an archaeologist.

[Griffin Newman]

What's your. What's your problem?

[David Sims]

The Cross of Coronado ends with A ship exploding. Like he goes to. He realizes, hey, we got to go through this library to get down to this crypt. And he just takes a fucking metal thing and starts pounding.

[Griffin Newman]

He do smash everything he ever touches.

[David Sims]

In an archeological critical sense is lost to time immediately because he explodes it in a ball of fire.

[Griffin Newman]

There's also a couple times when he's kind of just like, oh, I found this ancient or whatever, you know, he's like blowing on some. And I'm like, aren't you supposed to kind of treat these things with everything?

[David Sims]

Everything is just, you know what, it's.

[Griffin Newman]

The 30s, maybe a lot of this refined like oh no, no, no. Put on your gloves, get your little brush out. Maybe that came later.

[David Sims]

I just feel like everyone in the academic field when they see Henry Jones Jr's name get attached to a case file must just be like, ah, we're, we're. Everything we do will be will crumble to goddamn dust before we can even take a photograph of it. Because this has to smash everything and make it explode.

[Chris Gethard]

Your text. When you put forth your choice of Last Crusade. My favorite thing about Last Crusade is that Indiana Jones is the worst archaeologist of all time.

[David Sims]

The Venice crypt scene is. We located that one of the brothers. Great. The first crusader night. But before anyone else knows about it, we climb climb out of the sewage system and it's gone forever.

[Chris Gethard]

Your follow up text within seconds of finding the actual tombs and graves of real Templar knights in fire bombs he makes.

[David Sims]

He gets what he needs and then it explodes.

[Chris Gethard]

Everything he finds is immediately destroyed. And it's so funny to watch the movie with that in mind.

[David Sims]

Yeah, he's bad at archaeology. Really bad.

[Griffin Newman]

Well, it's because he has Steven Spielberg like crafting inventive action sequences around him. Okay. He'd love to probably just be chill.

[David Sims]

I just don't believe he'd ever get to a professor level at a university behaving this way.

[Griffin Newman]

The people are massing in his office waiting for office hours.

[David Sims]

I find that to be one of the biggest logical reaches of this entire film.

[Griffin Newman]

It is funny that. It's like we have the opening sequence sequence and then we, we tie. You know, we, we jump forward in time.

[Chris Gethard]

I just want to close the loop on that. I just want to say I like that that sequence, it's like he rushes home. He's got it. He thinks his dad's gonna love it, right? Connery? We don't even show an actor playing young Connery. You hear the voice, he's dismissive. And then it's like, cops show up, cops are in bed with these people. They make him give it back. We have six witnesses and he sees this fat cat out the window and it's like system is rigged. Like he's in a microcosm. He's had this excitement of feeling like, I've done it, I've won, and I'm gonna have my dad's respect. And it's like, your dad doesn't give a shit. And this lifestyle is gonna be a grind. It's gonna be an uphill battle the rest of your life against these dudes with the nice suits and the money. And then I just like that a hard, hard cuts to him on the ship in the rain and he's still trying to get this one object from this one guy. It's what makes it feel not disconnected as a mini movie is. It's like, oh. The reason we're seeing this now is because this is about how much Indiana Jones can't get over.

[David Sims]

But you know, in archeology, if you go to a museum to display something, they're going to say like, okay, so where did you find it? And he's going to look him in the eye and go, what? I murdered the entire crew of shit.

[Griffin Newman]

That's the thing.

[David Sims]

I murdered everyone on a ship.

[Griffin Newman]

He didn't mean to. He just meant to get the cross. But their shit does exist.

[David Sims]

But theology wise, this is bad form in the field of archeology. I do just murdered a bunch of people. And now I have this cross.

[Griffin Newman]

I do. Just like that. Indy has this basically unseen adventure that we just see the final minutes of on the boat. Him getting the cross back, right? He goes back and he is finally like, I'm gonna fucking teach my class. I'm gonna do my office hours, right? Like, I'm, I'm not no more like pending lectures. Hide that thing.

[Chris Gethard]

Closed loop.

[David Sims]

I'm gonna have these horny girls.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, take a number. I'll see every single person. It's fine. You know, hey, denim Elliot, how you doing? High five. Like, you know, and gets a weird package, right? He's like, yeah, weird package. But you know what? No, he's. At least I. It doesn't feel forced to me that Indy is trying to be a college professor for a second.

[David Sims]

He's so bad at it that there would be. He would honestly probably be. His name. His name and photo would be circulated in, in college archeology departments worldwide of do not hire this. His rate.

[Chris Gethard]

My professor score would be in these.

[David Sims]

Fantastic, fantastic at locating artifacts unfortunately, instantly Destroys them every single time.

[Chris Gethard]

I agree with you that he thinks.

[David Sims]

He'S bad at it.

[Chris Gethard]

I can hang up the fucking hat and teach full time, and I'm good. And I close the last, like, big narrative arc in my life, which was getting that cross, and now I'm here. If he hadn't gotten the delivery from Donovan, he would have in two weeks. Started going crazy and being like, give me that fucking whip back. But he's convincing himself he's ready to, like, move on. And much like, he couldn't fucking move on until he closes the loop on the cross thing. Getting the Grail diary and being like, right, fuck, that's my dad. Shit.

[Griffin Newman]

Goes to see Walter Donovan. Walter on is like, grail. Grail grill. He's like, right. That's my dad's obsession. Call him. I did call him. He's missing. Okay. There's this. He. He doesn't really want to do this. It's a little bit more the obligation of, like, well, if my fucking dad is missing. Right. I guess I have to.

[Chris Gethard]

I think it's almost less about saving his dad than it is about impressing his dad. He's like, if I show up, he's gonna be like, good shit, kid.

[Griffin Newman]

So, Right. The next sequence is Venice. Is the. Is the catacombs. And the introduction of elsie.

[David Sims]

Great sequence.

[Griffin Newman]

Dr. Schneider.

[Chris Gethard]

Kazim.

[Griffin Newman]

Kazim is there. Yes, that's true. Great sequence. The rats are the special effect that no one would ever bother with anymore.

[Chris Gethard]

Yep.

[Griffin Newman]

Like, that would be CGI. Now Spielberg gets 2000 fucking wet rats and makes everyone, like, deal with them.

[Ben Hosley]

It's, wait, say more.

[Chris Gethard]

2,000 wet rats. Now, has anyone ever attempted that at New York Fashion Week? Ben. Not to force an ambition on you.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah.

[Ben Hosley]

Damn.

[Chris Gethard]

But has anyone ever had 2, 000 wet rats on a Runway?

[Ben Hosley]

I don't know. I think there is maybe some ASPCA issues there, but.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah. And also some, you know, public health.

[Chris Gethard]

Right.

[Ben Hosley]

Because they are currently fighting against rats.

[Griffin Newman]

Right. We don't want, like. But maybe he got them all in one place.

[Ben Hosley]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

To be dealt with.

[Ben Hosley]

Sure.

[David Sims]

Can I say old librarian who thinks his stamp is weirdly loud.

[Griffin Newman]

I think that is. This is so fun.

[David Sims]

This is the quality gag that makes.

[Chris Gethard]

This my favorite of the movie is where I'm like, that is such a gritty bit.

[Griffin Newman]

I think it's.

[David Sims]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

It's a classic rule of three. Thinking of, like, it's funny once. And by the time it's been, like, extended for a while, we're just like, I'm Just like, I love the library, but.

[Chris Gethard]

And the choice that it isn't like, oh, this guy's oblivious. He's not hearing the sound because of the stamp. That it starts to become this little tiny mini story of this guy being like, like, am I incredible at stamping? Also, am I the most powerful man alive?

[David Sims]

Also the type of proof that shows why casting directors deserve Oscars because, yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

Guy'S got a funny face.

[David Sims]

You need an appropriately weird looking guy to play a befuddled librarian and go.

[Chris Gethard]

On this little arc of like, he's starting to feel himself, you know, like, this guy needs to be able to really act. He can't just pick a funny looking guy.

[David Sims]

That character grew and changed by the end of the film. As much as anyone goes on a journey.

[Griffin Newman]

Help me out here. There they learn. Okay, we found the tomb. Henry's being held at this castle. Here's the route to the Grail, the diary, all this stuff. This is when Elsa's room has been ransacked, which we later learn she does. Is she doing that just to get in Indy's bed and like, kind of win his trust? Or is there like a deeper conspiracy that I don't.

[David Sims]

I think it's. She really wants the Grail diary.

[Griffin Newman]

Right.

[David Sims]

And if she trashes her room too, he'll never suspect that she went and rooted around his room.

[Chris Gethard]

But I also think it's part of her playbook.

[Griffin Newman]

She.

[Chris Gethard]

She wants to seduce him or make him think that he is seducing her so that there is a guard down perhaps as well. Yeah, I think it's all. All part of the same pie.

[Griffin Newman]

The castle sequence. Somewhat underrated, I would say. In Indiana, I agree.

[David Sims]

Hearing you say you're like, sort of. I don't want to put words in your mouth, but like, like a little un underwhelmed, perhaps compared to.

[Griffin Newman]

No, I like this movie a lot.

[David Sims]

But I'm like, it's really only the third act that whiffs. Almost everything else is like a fun adventure.

[Griffin Newman]

Third act of this movie.

[David Sims]

Whiffs only in the sense that like the Grail, like, I love.

[Griffin Newman]

I love it.

[David Sims]

I love it. I feel like you were the one who was kind of saying, like, there's stuff about the end that I don't buy.

[Chris Gethard]

Every single set piece is.

[David Sims]

So this is great.

[Chris Gethard]

And they're like five great. Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

My whole thing with this movie is that it is basically whatever Spielberg is like Barry Bonds of like a high school game, right? Like, where it's like, he can do this so good. At this point, he's done it. He's. It almost feels like George Lucas is like, make my third. Anyway. He's like, bam, I just made it. You. I can do anything.

[Chris Gethard]

And he does always the same year, which is not as good. But he's like, not only can I make your third indie movie like that. Yeah, I can make it and then immediately make another.

[Griffin Newman]

I'll make it in two months, whatever. Or like, five amazing set pieces. Like, fudge you.

[Chris Gethard]

He's just becoming a machine at this point.

[Griffin Newman]

And so there's a. Yeah, like a slight. There's just something about this movie. I. I'm always. Every time I watch it. And, like, this is so fun. Everyone's having a good time. Maybe it's just a little weightless to me. I like the Connery stuff, obviously, because it's great. I like Connery. Connery's reaction to the tank going over to the cliff adds, like, a full star to the movie for me. And it's because I'm like, that's really just enough for me in terms of, like, weight. Emotional weight. Otherwise, what is this movie about? I don't know. Rangers of the Lost Ark, I think is so brilliant and scary and, like, the. The shadow of the Nazis hanging over it in such this interesting way.

[Chris Gethard]

Like, it's a better move.

[Griffin Newman]

It's so cool.

[Chris Gethard]

And a deeper film.

[Griffin Newman]

Temple of Doom is massively flawed. I think so. But it's. This is one of those series where, like, I don't remember. Like, I saw them all when I was a kid. They were never my movies. Like, I was always a Star wars kid. More than, like, I was an indie kid, I guess. So I don't have, like, a deep, like, obsessive love of.

[David Sims]

I wonder how often. Because also, I know. I know Temple does not hold up, but Temple, I don't. When I was a kid, yeah, Temple was pretty beloved. And I have. I have a feeling for people who grew up while these movies were coming out, being able to look at them in total afterwards is different. I have a feeling that for people who grew up with them, whichever one you saw first is generally your fat.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, I think that's a classic, right? For these kinds of things, there is a.

[Chris Gethard]

A whiny piss baby angry nerd youtuber that I hate.

[Griffin Newman]

Watch.

[Chris Gethard]

Who I will not get into any more specifics of, but is Indiana Jones is one of his main beats. And it's one of those things where he's just like, by Last Crusade, they it up. It's Spielberg doing Kitty. It's Lost the stakes of like the adventure series argument for it's getting too emotional.

[David Sims]

I don't like that Even with Star Wars. Mike, my kid loved right walks.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah. It's the thing of like the argument of these things are. Are for families and kids is fine. It's just annoying when then George Lucas is like every complaint directed him. He's like, movies for kids. Move on over here.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm like this guy. I'm like, you're the age where like you saw Raiders in theaters and it probably blew your mind. And then you were a little older and you saw a temple and you were like, this shit's scary. It's growing up with me. And then by the time you see Last Crusade, you still fucking love Indiana Jones, but for the first time you're maybe a little bit older than the movie. And he like throws it down a well. And he talks about, he spends so much time talking about, like how they fucked up the Indiana Jones franchise and how it's his most beloved character. And I'm like, you like two out of the five movies at this point, you dislike more Indiana Jones than you like. Like, you just have to accept it. Like, you can just say, I love these two films. But at a certain point, if you're fighting against that much of the franchise, you're denying what it enjoy.

[Griffin Newman]

Right. Why, why even care?

[David Sims]

The castle is great.

[Griffin Newman]

It's great. The castle is great.

[David Sims]

His kid doesn't know. They realize that they slept with the same girl.

[Chris Gethard]

Scooby Doo, revolving door.

[Griffin Newman]

But like Ford doing the Scottish accent. You know, Ford having a little bit of, you know, like character fun.

[David Sims]

But then also the guy calling it out, if you're a Scottish lord, I'm a what's blah blah. Like it's fun.

[Chris Gethard]

Which also much like Spielberg, it's like Ford in between these movies, did some more grown up. You feel him being like, you know what? It would be fun to just punch some guys and do some silly voices. I want to be Indiana Jones again. David?

[Griffin Newman]

Yep.

[Chris Gethard]

Are you ready?

[Griffin Newman]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

You're right. Are you sure you're ready? This is a big decision. Don't say it if you don't mean it.

[Griffin Newman]

Yes.

[Chris Gethard]

I'm asking if you're ready to optimize your nutrition this year.

[Griffin Newman]

Of course I am.

[Chris Gethard]

20, 25 year of nutrition. Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

Because factor has chef made gourmet meals that make eating well easy.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, so you know it already.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, they're dietitian approved. They're ready to heat and eat in two minutes. You can fuel right and feel great. No matter what life throws at you. So these factor meals, Griff, they just, you know, they come fresh and fully prepared. Sure you're not assembling here?

[Chris Gethard]

I hate assembling.

[Griffin Newman]

They've got, you know, 40 options across eight dietary preferences on the menu each week. You pick meals tailored to your goals. Calorie smart, protein plus keto. They say you could lose up to eight pounds in eight weeks with factor keto meals. Based on a randomized controlled clinical trial with factor keto. Obviously results will vary depending on diet. Diet and exercise.

[Chris Gethard]

I like that Factor says you can feel right and feel great no matter what life throws at you. Because I of course have been doing more. I've been trying to get back up into the vaudeville scene.

[Griffin Newman]

Oh yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And I've had a lot of tomatoes thrown at me and I don't know what to do with them.

[Griffin Newman]

Well, you know what, you could try a Monterrey spinach chicken with sun dried tomato Alfredo.

[Chris Gethard]

Well, there we go.

[Griffin Newman]

And a cauliflower gratin.

[Chris Gethard]

I have tomatoes and the sun is right there. Yeah, one plus one.

[Griffin Newman]

Good. Factor's doing all the work for you.

[Chris Gethard]

This is what I like.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, you can just optimize your nutrition by like popping these in and you know, also they've got some, some smoothies, they got breakfast, they got snacks.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

So listen, eat smart with factor. Get [e-mail] FactorPodcast and use code FactorPodcast to get 50 off your first box plus free shipping.

[Chris Gethard]

That's half. 50% is half.

[Griffin Newman]

That's Code Factor Podcast at Factor meals.com Factor Podcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box.

[Chris Gethard]

Jumping ahead a little bit. But another, what I assume is a stopper line that I think is incredibly good is when they're fighting about Indiana Jones's feeling of like indifference to him that he felt as a child. Right. And like his like refusal to engage. After your mom left, all this sort.

[David Sims]

Of talked in 20 years because of.

[Chris Gethard]

You and Connery, one of his defensive lines is, well, you moved out just as you were starting to get interesting. This thing of like, it's a bit.

[Griffin Newman]

Of a brutal line.

[Chris Gethard]

I have no interest in talking to children. In the second you start to become an adult, you moved out. And it's like, yeah, that's how it works. You didn't want to be a dad, you didn't do the work.

[David Sims]

There's also something to be said. Like I, I think that there is truth to the kids perspective of that, but I also think there is something quietly super fucking real about you understand your dad more when you've been through some stuff and when you were a kid and you get old enough to understand, like, especially back then, historically, like, maybe a dad was gone all the time, and that's the reason you had food and a house to sleep in. And a lot of families need the dad back then.

[Griffin Newman]

But the dad, clearly, he didn't deal with the loss of his wife very well. No.

[David Sims]

And, like. But that emotionally, like, I don't know. And some of this obviously relates to conversations I had with my dad, but I'm like, I remember having a conversation with my dad once asked me. My dad once said to me, I always liked calling you when we moved houses because you and I were really good about packing up a truck. And I remember saying to him, yeah, I remember during one of those days, it was the first time I felt like I could let my guard down and really, like, talk to you. And seeing my dad had this heartbroken look on his face, and he's like, wait, you were almost 30 at the time that you're talking about? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, you didn't feel like you could let your guard down around me until you were 30? And it was heartbreaking. But when I watched that moment of him being like, you were just getting interesting, I'm like, I don't excuse any of it in Henry Jones, Senior or my father, but I'm like, sometimes like, that's real. That's real. That's so real.

[Chris Gethard]

This is why. Also, the Eskimo Brothers thing, even if it comes out of, like, a horny, I still need to be an Alpha connery note. And it's mostly played as a joke. There's something about this movie in the second half forcing them to become contemporaries.

[Griffin Newman]

That's why it works, right?

[Chris Gethard]

It's real because it's just like he's seeing things from a different vantage point because he and his dad are now doing the exact same in lockstep. They're on the same adventure. They're in the same action sequences. They're after the same goal, keeping each other alive. He's like, I'm nothing like you. I spent my entire life trying to be that guy named Fedora on the train. And it's like, no, you're doing my shit in different clothes a little bit.

[Griffin Newman]

And I think SR Comes to take his son more seriously because he watches him in action mode, which is something he doesn't do, right? Like, Senior doesn't do action mode. He's watching his son Actually be in action mode.

[Chris Gethard]

There's a lovely moment of Ford watching Connery chase the birds away with his umbrella.

[David Sims]

The birds is a really fascinating moment.

[Chris Gethard]

And being like, my dad's just some guy. Like, I feel like I've heard you talk about a lot in different circumstances, your realization at some age as a nerd that your father knew the names of the members of the Fantastic Four. And being like, my dad is like a serious grown up who has a job and has no interest in my, like, childish. And then being like, not only were you into these characters when you were my age, you still remember what their names are. This is in your head. You know, there's like that part of it of being like, he's seeing kind of the little boy version of his dad in that moment.

[Griffin Newman]

I think the hat's just crucial too.

[David Sims]

I think. I think for the character.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, Henry Jones senior has such a silly hat.

[Chris Gethard]

His look is incredible.

[Griffin Newman]

Being like, don't forget my hat. In the same way that his son does. But his son has a cool hat.

[David Sims]

I think what I'm realizing as we talk it out loud is. And some of this is Sean Connery's performance, some of this is in the script. But I'm. I go. I will say, and David, I respect your opinions on film far more than my own, but I go, the dad, son stuff in this movie, I think actually does make it significantly more than just. It moves from set piece to set piece in a way that.

[Griffin Newman]

But that doesn't start till halfway through. Once she shows up, the movie is.

[Chris Gethard]

But I like that swerve. I mean, it's like if. If the second half of this movie were a flipped mirror image of the first half and the dad thing was not part of it, it would be like, yeah, this is just Spielberg showing off that he can do great sequences. I do like that the movie has this kind of like, sneaky turn into thematic weight. And the weight is characterization, which is basically the thing that is avoided in the first two Indiana Jones movies. There was characterization, but we're not really digging into psychology of Indiana Jones. He's a character defined by action. And there's the sense of his relationships to these people. But it's like, I'm just fucking moving forward. And his dad's the only person who can get him to stop and have to, like, reckon with shit. And it's why I like starting with him as a little kid again, because you're just like, this guy isn't mythical. He's a dude. And like, everything that's cool about him is like all of us a direct result of who he was raised by. Right. For both good and bad.

[David Sims]

It also recontextualizes every other Indiana Jones movie now with the thing of like, like this guy's chasing his dad. And after you watch this one, you know that when you re watch the other ones.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, yeah. It's certainly especially Raiders. Temple of Doom is a strange movie to think about in any sense, but you know, and he's helping these kids in temple. I guess there's the somewhat fatherly thing with him in Short Round, you know.

[David Sims]

Like I'm not, I'm not saying that all of a sudden this turns into like a psychological breakdown of the characters that never got the credit to do. But I do think this movie is more than set piece to set piece because of that exact stuff.

[Griffin Newman]

No, I think once Sean Connery shows.

[Chris Gethard]

Up, it's Yes, I agree with what you're saying. For the prism of like Spielberg is just a few years away from leveling up to being able to tell really complicated, mature adult, psycho emotional stories. And like in that context you're just like, aren't you ready to move on from this? Even if this film has like emotional weight and something to say about like fathers and sons and whatever, it's still doing that in a very pop candy coated way. And like, aren't we ready to like level up to a certain degree? But I think this is like the last time for me that he kind of has this right balance of doing this.

[David Sims]

There's a Moment to Kill a Mockingbird, I believe it does not make the film but where Atticus shoots this rabid dog and in the process one of his glasses lenses breaks and then he likes reaches down with his heel and just grinds out the glass so it's not sharp and nobody get cuts on it. Gets cut on. He walks away. And Jim is amazed and he's like, I can't believe my dad was the one that you guys all had take the shot. And one of the neighbors is like, do you not know that your daddy is the best shot in the county? And everyone's known that for decades.

[Griffin Newman]

And it's. And the sheriff is specifically a bad shot.

[David Sims]

And they're like, why do you want our stuffy lawyer dad to do this?

[Griffin Newman]

He's like, mister, did you not know.

[David Sims]

Your dad is a bad. And the Indiana like the Last Crusade is a movie length exploration of the idea of like, hey, all this you don't know about your dad might just fill in some of the Emotional gaps that a whole generation of fathers ravaged their sons with.

[Chris Gethard]

And what you just said will basically always get me, like, even in the worst executions of that, when I don't respect it intellectually, I'd be like, they are playing with, like, powerful materials there. It's always going to stir a little something in me. And like, being able to do it pretty well in a movie that also delivers good bits and like, five of the best directed action sequences you've ever seen. I'm just like, yeah, this is like a perfect movie movie for me.

[David Sims]

Listen, Field of Dreams, them playing catch.

[Chris Gethard]

We were talking about right before this.

[David Sims]

Record never not make me cry.

[Chris Gethard]

Yep. And I couldn't give less of a. About baseball. And yet I watched that and I'm like, baseball's the most important thing that's ever existed. You know, when they're throwing the ball around, I'm like, absolutely. Baseball.

[David Sims]

Archie Moonlight Graham is the fistoa field of chess.

[Chris Gethard]

Now, that is a good take that I have no objection to.

[Griffin Newman]

I think Archie Moonlight Graham is more important than Kubisto.

[Chris Gethard]

What the the are you that's so mean to important is actually the most offensive word.

[Griffin Newman]

My whole problem with Kit Fisto is that that Palpatine just, you know, the.

[David Sims]

Whole problem with Kit Fisto is that that's our noble way to start the whole. The only problem with Kit Fisto is that characters should have weaknesses and flaws, and he doesn't.

[Griffin Newman]

But that's. That's why I just hate. I just. I mean, I hate Revenge of the Sith. I always will. I won't be, you know, turned around by people being like, oh, it's about the fall of Rome and shit. And I'm like, yeah, I know it is, but it's not a good version of all.

[David Sims]

David, I'm just going to give you some advice. Don't go on blank check and say you hate an individual Star wars movie because it could turn into a thing you're playing. Well, turns into a thing for you.

[Griffin Newman]

But, like, you know, Mace Windu just shows up and he's like, I'll bring three of my best guys.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, the Jedi wrecking crew.

[Griffin Newman]

Exactly. And Palpatine, who is 1 billion years.

[Chris Gethard]

Old at the end of this episode like this.

[Griffin Newman]

All right, all right. Well, then let's move on to the zeppelin scene.

[David Sims]

Would you not watch a whole Archie Moonlight Graham prequel to Field of Dreams?

[Griffin Newman]

Sounds pretty cool.

[Chris Gethard]

And do you know that Archie Graham moonlight can hold his breath underwater and he can smell fear and he's got.

[David Sims]

To be getting home. So Alicia doesn't think he's got himself a girlfriend.

[Griffin Newman]

The zeppelin scene.

[David Sims]

Great.

[Griffin Newman]

Anytime I see a zeppelin which is not that often.

[Chris Gethard]

No, not a lot.

[Griffin Newman]

You are kind of like it's too bad this didn't work out because it does kind of seem nice. Right where they're just like. It's just like a. What a great future big ass restaurant. Essentially.

[Chris Gethard]

What a nice thing to just.

[David Sims]

There's rumors delivery service.

[Ben Hosley]

And that's like a reminder of like wait. This is actually though technology that there's a reason why we don't utilize it anymore.

[David Sims]

There's rumors they're bringing them back.

[Chris Gethard]

I think it's time.

[David Sims]

I think it's time. I think environmental impact for short flights. Let's go back to Zeppelin Isn't running out of helium.

[Ben Hosley]

Isn't that a thing?

[David Sims]

It's a great question.

[Chris Gethard]

Which is gonna. I mean just be murder for the industry of doing funny voices. I know we talk about this in next week's episode but I think they.

[Griffin Newman]

Just don't go that fast.

[Chris Gethard]

Right.

[Griffin Newman]

Isn't that part of the problem with zeppelins? But great.

[Chris Gethard]

Let's slow down. Let's enjoy ourselves.

[David Sims]

Can we just turn off our phones and float in the sky? What I'm.

[Chris Gethard]

We're all so addicted to our phones. I say as I spin the Disney emoji blitz wheel on two different devices. There's a very double gems.

[David Sims]

I would say there is a very funny consistent thing that I'm not nitpicking in Last Crusade though. But it shows up in the zeppelin scene very prominently. Is a bunch of things that are so joyous funny awesome moments where the aftermath of them just like the.

[Chris Gethard]

It's the clerk's bit of like. You think about how many contractors are.

[David Sims]

The pacing of the aftermath doesn't add up. My point being like oh, oh, they punch the Nazi. They throw him. He lands on the big pile of luggage. No tickets. Everyone takes out the tickets. Fantastic. Very funny gag.

[Griffin Newman]

Very funny.

[David Sims]

But the idea that the zeppelin just then slowly floats away. No Nazis react to this high wrecking Nazi land.

[Griffin Newman]

It's a little. I mean look, there's a few moments.

[David Sims]

Of that in this movie. Again like the boat explodes and then you're left to go like okay. And I guess Indiana just grabs that little life.

[Griffin Newman]

The zeppelin is tight.

[David Sims]

Swims back to shore.

[Griffin Newman]

But they do eventually, of course. Oh, we're turning around. We're back to Berlin. Yes. Maybe is a little silly. Like I guess we should just use this plane. That's right.

[David Sims]

It's.

[Chris Gethard]

I said that Spielberg never gets this balances right again. Which of course is me realizing I stupidly am ignoring Jurassic Park. Right. Which is truly the last time he gets the balance right. But that is a movie where to this point of what you're saying. I think he's starting to realize it here. He's like my understanding of like movie logic and spatial geography and what the audience sees and doesn't. What I'm like, like a magician, I'm making them look here, not think about this. He's starting to like around and be like, I can put together a sequence that doesn't actually make any sense and not make people realize that it doesn't make any sense.

[David Sims]

You won't get a little bit. And Jurassic has this.

[Griffin Newman]

Don't overthink it.

[Chris Gethard]

Which is very skillful.

[David Sims]

And one of these things too that it's like I rewatch it now by myself. And then you realize part of the pacing of that feeling weird is because that knew the crowd would have been cheering.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[David Sims]

That a theater full of people is laughing good at this.

[Chris Gethard]

And if they're laughing, they're not gonna think about the fact where it's like, well wait a second. The zeppelin is still only five feet above this guy. They'd have 20 Nazi dudes jumping.

[David Sims]

Doesn't matter, right?

[Chris Gethard]

Doesn't matter.

[David Sims]

He was pacing it for the fucking applause break that he knew he got.

[Chris Gethard]

It's like hamburger had just performed. The crowd is going wild.

[Griffin Newman]

This is what the tank thing is too. Where there. I guess there will come a point, I guess in any, you know, where these action movies that these, those kinds of sequences are previz so well that it almost feels too easy, right? Like, oh, he ducks just when he, you know, like but that's. But the tank sequence, you're just kind of like I. I gotta just give it up. Like, you know, like goes on and you know, like.

[Chris Gethard]

The thing that still makes Spielberg better at this than anyone else who has ever lived is the exact thing that the sort of like obsessive pre viszing before the script is done actually fights against, which is just like what are the character moments? What are the moments in this that are gonna pop as like a laugh? And it's not because it's a dumb one off joke. It's something that surprises you or someone does something differently than you expect. It reveals something different about themselves. These sequences have their own internal like arcs and peaks and valleys. Like they're symphonic. And he knows, he knows like.

[David Sims]

And he's.

[Chris Gethard]

I gotta hold the shot for 30 seconds. Because if I do something right now, the audience is going to be riding such a high from the last thing, they won't be able to process this. His mastery is just insane. At this point.

[David Sims]

I had a very weird thought that ties into this, which I think you guys will enjoy, which is I've been to Hollywood studios many times.

[Chris Gethard]

You're saying the Disney Park. The Disney park with the, with the Indiana Jones.

[David Sims]

The Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular.

[Chris Gethard]

This is a great show.

[David Sims]

It's a great little show, but it does this funny thing.

[Chris Gethard]

Probably my favorite play, Edward Alvi's Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular Stopper quietly wrote all the dialogue in Last Crusade and Alby quietly wrote all the dialogue in the Indiana Jones stunts back.

[David Sims]

But they do that, that funny thing, which when I was a kid I loved, which is like they presuppose that you're sitting in these bleachers watching the actual filming of a move of an action sequence in Indiana Jones. And then I get old and I wind up being lucky enough to be an actor who has been on some film sets largely cut out of films as R dash R blankies has, has danced on, but cut out some big ass movies, but cut out of some huge movies. Proud of my career anyway and have.

[Chris Gethard]

Remained in the great films.

[David Sims]

Thank you so much. Making a joke referencing my past chicanery on your show.

[Chris Gethard]

But by the way, same thing with me. My biggest credits on paper of the biggest movies I've been in are all the ones I've been cut out of. It's. It's how it goes.

[David Sims]

Also a sign of a quality career. It's fine.

[Chris Gethard]

We're workers, we're workers, we're workers.

[David Sims]

But you go to it as an actor, to the stunt show and you're like, ah, that's not how movies really work. And it's silly. They're pretending this is a movie. And then you rewatch an Indiana Jones movie and you're like, I bet Steven Spielberg was running this set way closer to the actual tenor and tone of the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular at Hollywood studios than any other movie.

[Griffin Newman]

He actually runs a set that cleanly. Especially. Again, people, there are just no complaints from this now. Raiders. That was hard. Everyone gets dysentery. It's crazy.

[Chris Gethard]

Jaws was hard.

[Griffin Newman]

By now it's kind of just like, nah, he's just.

[David Sims]

I bet there are crazy amounts of trucks and scaffolding and cranes and, and things flipping up and people diving off of buildings and doing flips. Like all that shit they show at the Stunt Spectacular. I'm Like I am willing to buy into the kayfabe that a Steven Spielberg set is actually as fun and crazy as that stunt spectacular.

[Chris Gethard]

Kind of all you hear from people who work on his movies.

[Griffin Newman]

I do think we mentioned it already but I do think you know Connery's reaction to the tank going over the way he just like simply and quickly plays. He knows the entire after.

[David Sims]

He knows action though, right? The brothers sword have come back. There's people fighting on the tank and on top of the tank the tracks from the tank treads Indy holding his dad's leg with the whip as his dad bounced on the tank trees and.

[Chris Gethard]

Literally riding shotgun in this entire action sequence. And he's like yawn, who cares?

[David Sims]

The crazy tank guy.

[Chris Gethard]

You mentioned Holdren's.

[David Sims]

You also mentioned before like the Indiana Jones habit of just like this guy is the blank. The tank pilot with that. With the crazy leather hat and goggle. Like it's got. It's so fun.

[Griffin Newman]

He just didn't think his son was going to die. And obviously he doesn't die. But like Connery has that just that moment of like.

[David Sims]

And he convinces, he convinces us, right?

[Griffin Newman]

Like it's actually. Fuck. I actually didn't get to tell him like all these things I meant to tell him.

[Chris Gethard]

Here's another thing that, that quietly belies five minutes. Him being so shocked at the idea that Indiana Jones died does quietly speak to a level of respect he has.

[Griffin Newman]

For what he would never have said out loud. Right?

[Chris Gethard]

Because he's like, I know my son goes off on all these stupid adventures and he's going through like pitfalls and traps and I never worry he's gonna die.

[Griffin Newman]

Right?

[Chris Gethard]

I know.

[Griffin Newman]

That's why I've been putting off the.

[Chris Gethard]

Five great at being Indiana Jones. I hear he's off in some fucking Peruvian like booby trapped, you know, Temple sense.

[David Sims]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

I don't think I should have called him and said hey, I love you before he goes off.

[Griffin Newman]

So that all happens now to me, the emotional arcs of this movie are pretty much resolved and it's time for a wonderful like LucasArts video game point and click adventure. Like in that crazy sequence, which is the grail.

[Chris Gethard]

Am I counter to that?

[Griffin Newman]

The puzzles of the grail and then the emotional puzzle of the night. You know my counterpoint to that, which.

[Chris Gethard]

Is what I said earlier, which is him having to alone and revealing how much he has ingested of what his father's, of his father's work does add a new wrinkle onto the emotional closure. I agree with you that it's like they've gotten to the place where they can admit to each other that they love each other. There is still this one added step of like, I'm more like my dad than I realized. Every. All of his life's work is in my bones.

[David Sims]

And every kid. And I felt this with my dad. Spielberg clearly felt it with his. Just that feeling of like this sting of like, why didn't my dad ever slow down and have that five minute conversation with me? Is also coupled with why does every son assume that his father hasn't actually thought hard about who he is and why he's behaving and how it relates to his son. And you're like, ooh. And then to immediately follow it up with like, he just fought a tank by hand, saved you in the process, fell off a fucking cliff. And it's like you have the one moment of emotion that you share and then he collapses from exhaustion. And you go, no, get the up. We got to get back to work. We're almost at the end. Is like, God damn. And it's right back into the other. Now we understand each other.

[Chris Gethard]

It's like the dad has to go through his arc of like, fuck. What would my regrets have been if that was the last time I ever saw you? Now Indiana Jones is on the flip side of that, which is like, his dad's been fucking shot. And the stakes of this now, like Tomb Raider level he has to go through is if I this up and I don't do it in time, my dad's dead.

[David Sims]

And we're now at the stage of life where the son takes care of the correct.

[Chris Gethard]

Thank you.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

To move forward.

[Griffin Newman]

You are never, ever, ever, ever concerned that he's not gonna, he's gonna do.

[Chris Gethard]

As an audience member. No, but those are the stakes for Indiana Jones, the cat character. That's why he still has unresolved.

[Griffin Newman]

It's fine. You know he's gonna do it.

[David Sims]

He has to trust his dad. He has to trust his dad.

[Griffin Newman]

Take the leap of faith and all that. Which what amuses man so much is. I think all that stuff is great. The, you know, the puzzle solving stuff is so cool. The, the, the floor with the Jehovah, the, the leap of faith is the coolest thing.

[Chris Gethard]

What's the misspelling?

[Griffin Newman]

What's. Oh, just the red. But dodging the blade. Then he gets to the grail. Now let's discuss this sequence. It's. It's a fountain or whatever. A pool. A pool of water.

[David Sims]

The holy water thing. You See at the front every church.

[Griffin Newman]

It'S a knight in knightly armor. Chain mail.

[Chris Gethard]

It's old ass. Dude.

[David Sims]

This motherfucker has been there for 700 years.

[Griffin Newman]

Nope, not even a cross.

[David Sims]

No back. This guy can't do wordle.

[Chris Gethard]

Every day the same thought.

[David Sims]

700 years he's been sitting around and these ruin it.

[Chris Gethard]

If he went through the text history.

[Griffin Newman]

Had wordle, how many times would he have gone through like all of the words? A limited amount of wordle words, like five.

[Chris Gethard]

This guy's getting like queen bee every day. 700, he's getting spanogram and strands, eating whatever they eat.

[David Sims]

He's probably jerking off. Relentless.

[Chris Gethard]

He doesn't have fucking top rom.

[Griffin Newman]

Do you think he jerks off?

[David Sims]

This guy?

[Griffin Newman]

You think he jerks off? Wait, here's, here's my question.

[David Sims]

He's a religious.

[Griffin Newman]

Every day he picks a new cup to jerk off to because, like that's the only thing he can look at.

[David Sims]

This fucking guy for. Seven. They say it. 700 years of silence sitting there.

[Chris Gethard]

Guys, I'm sorry. Breaking news. Yeah, I was just sent two texts from my father. This is breaking news. Do you know what I'm about to say?

[David Sims]

He's gonna tell you he loves you for the first time.

[Chris Gethard]

This is big. From Peter Newman. Deadline link. Draft day feature to be adapted for tv.

[Griffin Newman]

I did, I did, I did. Just.

[Chris Gethard]

Yep, with a basketball twist. And my dad says, time to bring back Rick the intern.

[Griffin Newman]

I mean, get him in there. Is is.

[Chris Gethard]

You didn't tell me this news.

[Griffin Newman]

It just. It just noticed.

[Chris Gethard]

It can't trust this guy.

[Ben Hosley]

Is Rick all grown up?

[Chris Gethard]

These are the questions I hope they're asking.

[Griffin Newman]

Is it, you know, is this like the fucking suits la where it's like, oh, it's suits la. Does it have any of the guys from Suits? And they're like, they're like, no, it's just like a legal show set in la. We're just calling it Suits. Like, is Costner involved? You know? Like, do we have, you know, let.

[Chris Gethard]

Me be one fucking legacy character? That's what I'm saying.

[David Sims]

I say this, but guys, we're at the Grail knights scene and we need to focus on.

[Chris Gethard]

This is what I wanted to say. I thought the thing I have been promising to recite back to you was in text. Then I looked. The text exchange was the. He's a bad archaeologist. The thing you said was said in person, I believe at the. The gether 10th anniversary show, the. The union show, the reunion show, which was such a wonderful night. You said this to me backstage where I said like hey, and we'll do Last Crusade in like a couple months.

[David Sims]

10Th anniversary. 15.

[Chris Gethard]

15. You're right. This shows 10. That was 15. I'm so. Excuse me while I paraphrase this grail, mate, but you said to me something to the effect of. I think one of the funniest bits of all time is this guy being in this fucking cave for like 700 years with nothing and Indiana Jones showing up and immediately fucking up his entire.

[David Sims]

Just like he up the catacomb under Venice, he up the cross.

[Chris Gethard]

Of course it's so personal for this guy.

[David Sims]

Fucking guy has for 700 years has been like where's the next next night that's gonna come take over. Indiana Jones comes. He doesn't even allow the guy to finish explaining. Hey man, finally you don't look like a night. Indiana Jones straight up cuts him off and is like not my thing man. That's not really how this bad. And then before he can finish his sentence, the Nazis come pick the wrong cup. That guy turns a Beetlejuice right there. It's weirdly scary.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[David Sims]

Then Elsa is all up. She drops the thing. Cuz she just straight up can't even listen for 10 her ADHD. He's like just don't take it past the thing. She takes it past the thing. We got the earthquakes and then the. I think the combinate. One of the saddest and also funniest moments in maybe all of cinematic history is that guy gives a sad little wave bye. He's been waiting sad 700 years. And two minutes later this Indiana Jones find it. This movie has three beats. The cross of Coronado. He makes everything explode. The fucking Templar Knight's grave, he makes it explode. He finally finds the Holy Grail. He fucks that up too.

[Chris Gethard]

In your words. Maybe the funniest bit of all time.

[David Sims]

That little wave that night gives is so sad.

[Griffin Newman]

Okay, what is happening to that night? Do you think he wants.

[David Sims]

He's been.

[Griffin Newman]

No, no, I'm saying. I'm saying death. Well no, of course I know but I'm saying like the. Because of all the stuff that happened.

[David Sims]

For like 694 years we are to.

[Chris Gethard]

Assume that he has drank from the correct cup and he gets centuries earlier and he gets to live forever right now.

[David Sims]

They're nice. He can finally get the sweet relief release of a well earned death.

[Chris Gethard]

Move on.

[Griffin Newman]

Here's my question. Indy comes in.

[David Sims]

All right.

[Griffin Newman]

And let's just go through what happens. Indy comes in. Yeah, right. He's Kind of like, I don't know, man. I kind of just need to save my dad. Nazis come in. This is a moment. I just think we have to touch on the night's like, okay, well, choose a fucking cop.

[Chris Gethard]

Just careful. My manager. The draft day link.

[Griffin Newman]

Elsa is like, let me choose. Julian Glover is like, yeah, sounds good.

[David Sims]

She does it on purpose, right, That.

[Griffin Newman]

I assume what she's doing is they make eye contact. Yeah. So Spielberg's. Nonetheless, how dumb is Julian Glover that he's like, yeah, you know what? Actually, you pick. And she's like, literally just goes like this one. Like, she doesn't even walk the length of the cups. She just kind of grabs one.

[Chris Gethard]

My point, though, it's like he's. He is just some dumb door.

[Griffin Newman]

No, no.

[David Sims]

Could have walked over to that old ass, grab his nuts and twisted him and been like, tell me which one.

[Griffin Newman]

Ask a couple questions. Just take a cursory which one?

[David Sims]

Weird old man.

[Griffin Newman]

He said. He's like, like, oh, it looks great. It's gold.

[Chris Gethard]

Krueger syndrome. This guy thinks he knows everything.

[David Sims]

We're blowing past the part where Indiana Jones is like, who are you? And he's like, I'm one of three brothers Tasman, and Indiana Jones straight up is like, oh, so you're 700 years old. Anyway, man, I'm kind of not into this.

[Chris Gethard]

This is not really my scene.

[David Sims]

I love movies so much, but the end is like, Indy has the.

[Griffin Newman]

It's like a game to save my dad.

[David Sims]

This act, this deadpiece sort of is like playing mousetrap. Everything is like, now this.

[Griffin Newman]

And to be fair, Spielberg said when Lucas initially pitched him the Holy Grail, Spielberg was like, is there anything fun you can do with the ending of the Holy Grail? Like, is there enough. Is there, like a special effects thing you can do? Like, what's the. He was a little concerned. Like, is it a little boring at the end? I think that this ending is so iconic and well regarded. They figured it out. And obviously the special effects thing they figured out was the. The rapid aging is cool, right? Like that. We'll do that. But everything that's. It's just like, the only time pressure is on Indie, which is, I want to save my dad. There's no time pressure on Julian Glover. He could just like, really kind of be like, I'm going to take a look at every single.

[David Sims]

He could just go save your dad. So I know which one is the right one.

[Griffin Newman]

That's an option for him. There's a lot of options for him.

[David Sims]

Anyway, Some would actually say that that's why he shot the dad.

[Griffin Newman]

But he's just like, glug, glug, glug. Beetlejuice. I love it. I mean, I love it. I love him turning into Beetlejuice.

[David Sims]

Let's remember his whole thing was he was the most pure one. So his two brother, he was like, they failed. Goodbye, my brothers. We will never see each other again.

[Chris Gethard]

Survival of the fittest. He is the one.

[David Sims]

He assumes I'm the first link in a chain where other knights will achieve this take over and it will last for eternity. And instead the first guy who shows up it all up and he just goes, I guess I could have been fucking and eating cheeseburgers for the past 700 years because the first asshole to come take over fucked it up.

[Chris Gethard]

Here's a fun thing to consider.

[David Sims]

This guy Jones sucks as an archaeologist.

[Chris Gethard]

This guy doesn't even know that movies exist.

[David Sims]

This dude has no idea the amount.

[Griffin Newman]

Of printed words.

[David Sims]

Let alone about the birds of musical on Broadway.

[Chris Gethard]

Well, God, and he would have loved that.

[David Sims]

Dude, he doesn't know about Nintendo.

[Griffin Newman]

No, he actually does. Weirdly, there's a deleted scene where the one thing they love, love Nintendo. Yes, Jesus has permitted Nintendo.

[David Sims]

But you know this, like, he only had Duck Hunt. It wasn't even the double partridge of Mario Brothers.

[Griffin Newman]

Oh, he just had the Duck Hunt.

[David Sims]

He was playing Duck Hunt for San controller.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, so, okay, so Julian Glover dies. Julian Glover dying is great. Indy's like Indy. Even Indy is a little briskly like, well, I think it's this shitty one.

[David Sims]

Yeah, so that's carpenter's cup.

[Griffin Newman]

But again, he doesn't even like. I just love to do one full scan, just one full hearing.

[David Sims]

You guys say Spielberg was never particularly interested in the growl or it. This I will say like. And, and again, he's. You've given him a million props about his mastery. Like, this one does feel like a guy who doesn't give a fuck about this has made it the, like the ultimate goal of the movie. And you can sort of feel that he doesn't totally give a fuck about the grail itself. He's done, he's wrapping it up, is.

[Griffin Newman]

Proven good, ok, Takes it to Connery, saves Connery, that problem is solved. Now it's kind of like, okay, now what do we do? Right? And of course, Elsa takes it across the Great Seal, which is not Indy's fault. You're disparaging his. You know, he doesn't cause that chaos.

[David Sims]

That is Elsa's everywhere he goes. In an archaeological sense. Though the place explodes or collapses.

[Griffin Newman]

Crack opens in the earth.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Griffin Newman]

Elsa falls down it. You know, she tries to rescue her. She's too tempted by the cup. She falls to her death. Indy resists the temptation of the cup, gets out instead goes with his dad, the cup, the, the Grail cup falls into the curved into the abyss, right.

[David Sims]

Onto that little ledge.

[Griffin Newman]

No, but like, then, yeah, this is my question. They all leave. Grail Knight, as we know, goes like, bye, right? The whole thing's falling down. Is Grail Knight still going to live and just kind of be stuck there still? Is he going to go get the cup back or is the cup gone and Grail Knight's about.

[David Sims]

Grail Knight has the craziest choice to make of anyone in history of Earth, which is like, do I just. No, I. No one else, I guess, cares about this half as much as I thought.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[David Sims]

So I guess now do I stay here and live?

[Griffin Newman]

That's my. Like is the Grail and die him.

[David Sims]

Well, there's another option that ties into this, which is that there's another logic which is so Grail Night, I. Indiana Jones, this is not my thing, but my father has now drank from the cup. And conceivably he spent his whole life chasing this. And it's actually my father that should be doing this. And my father has sort of lived in absentia in a way that I've always resented. But if it was for the purpose of this, maybe this was the higher purpose. He could stay. And we just watched him drink from.

[Chris Gethard]

The Holy Grail and they poured it on his. On his tongue.

[David Sims]

Henry Jones senior also is like, now I got illumination out of it. I got everything I wanted. Peace, Grill night. I'm not even going to ask you a question.

[Griffin Newman]

Much like he's. No, yeah, just no. No further input required. But much like in rage, the Lost Ark. It's like, oh, what's in the ark? And it's like, I don't know, weird ghost. Let's get out of here. You know, like. And this one, it's like, oh, what was the mystery of the grill? It's like, I don't know, it fell into a pit.

[David Sims]

Arguably, Henry Jones senior could have stayed there. Let the Grail Knight have the sweet release of death. Marcus Brody could have been sent to any 99 cent store to get one of those little arm extender grabber things, a grabbing stick. They could have gone, got one of them grabbers, gotten the Grail back, and Henry Jones senior could have taken his.

[Griffin Newman]

Sucks. It's the worst Dedicated his entire life life to this, to finding it. But like the whole thing with the Holy Grail is right? You get there and you're like, hell yeah. And it's like a couple of attached, you know, a couple provisos here. One, you can't leave. Two, no one's here. So it sucks.

[David Sims]

What do you think the Grail night, like when they were all leaving, he would have been like, no, guys, no, wait, one of you has to take over. And they'd be like, nah, it's the question.

[Chris Gethard]

I mean, they obviously like, we got.

[David Sims]

Tick tock and now, dude, like, we gotta go, man.

[Chris Gethard]

They fix fix Connery's bullet wounds, right? But it's like by feeding him the water, is he now does he live forever or since? No, because in crystal skull he's got the picture on his desk.

[Griffin Newman]

This is for this question. No, you don't live forever just by drinking from the Grail one day there.

[David Sims]

And it's not just you drink it once. You stay there.

[Griffin Newman]

Kind of, you know, poisoned chalice thing of like, yeah, I can live forever. Yeah, you can live forever in this. This room. Do you like cups? No.

[Chris Gethard]

Living a grail night's life.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah. This room has cups at all. It's cup room. Do you like anything but cups? Does he jerk off into every cup?

[Chris Gethard]

Yes. Yes.

[David Sims]

Okay, guys, that's a little sacrilegious to your.

[Chris Gethard]

To your point.

[Griffin Newman]

Do you think that's a little sacrilegious actually?

[David Sims]

You're going to jerk off of the lolly Gr. This is just a wee bit sacrilegious.

[Chris Gethard]

To your point about it. Feeling like Spielberg doesn't really give a about the Grail. Do you think they were all pissed that they had already blown knowledge was the real treasure? That it feels like this movie is.

[David Sims]

Building to some illumination always struck me as a very weird line. Both in that it's a little soft and there's so many tie ins that have like holy blood. Holy Grail has been written. Da Vinci Code isn't out yet, but like this idea that the Holy Grail ties into the Illuminati is out there. And it feels like illumination is a weird. What'd you get out of it?

[Chris Gethard]

It feels like they're backed into a corner of like, how do we not double beat the ending of the last one? But it's like the end. That line doesn't make a ton of sense in Temple of Doom versus what's gone on in that movie. Whereas in this it's like, what you want him or Connery to say is something like, no, the Grail doesn't matter. It's like this. It's what we know and it's what we care about. And the friends we made along the.

[David Sims]

Way, 700 year old man there that they just ignore dealing with. Either way, though, just to be clear, this is all nitpicky fun things at the end. This movie rules.

[Chris Gethard]

And the Grail knight's one of the greatest characters of all time.

[Griffin Newman]

What we're all saying, it's a fun little mini movie. Like in it, it really does feel like a point and click adventure to me. This sort of like, in the best way.

[Chris Gethard]

How old?

[Griffin Newman]

In a really great way.

[David Sims]

Think the ground was when his dick could no longer get hard?

[Chris Gethard]

When did he stop jerking off in the cups?

[David Sims]

Like, when was that even off the date?

[Chris Gethard]

Well, does drinking from the grill make your dick stick?

[Griffin Newman]

Well, I also, my favorite thing is.

[Chris Gethard]

It'S the original Bluetooth to it.

[Griffin Newman]

But my, my thing is also he's in his armor. He could have taken it off. Right. But he's in his armor. He like walks into Indy and Indy's like, what? And like he falls over and he doesn't even really push him. And he's like, anyway, you beat me. So like, you know, like, he's so eagerly like, oh, like, yeah, that. That counts to single combat, btw. And I want to go.

[David Sims]

What do you think? The ground. I want, like, he wants to sprint out there and like, get one or two last things in before he crumbles into dust. He's like, thank you, you're taking over. Here's my.

[Chris Gethard]

That's a good question. The second he like, crosses the seal, is it like, hey, by the way, dude, you have like 40 minutes left.

[David Sims]

Your body, like three days to just go party.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. Does he end up having like a Scent of a Woman weekend?

[David Sims]

Does he want to go do Molly?

[Griffin Newman]

I think not because of the rules. Just because it's like, you are 700.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

Maybe not. Maybe he gets a few days.

[David Sims]

I don't think the same thing happens to him that happened.

[Chris Gethard]

No, no, no.

[Griffin Newman]

Beers is being like, punished for his folly.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes.

[Griffin Newman]

Like, that's like Veers gets turned into.

[David Sims]

Like Tales from the Crypt.

[Griffin Newman]

He gets turned into a nine year old.

[David Sims]

And I never forgot the sense the.

[Griffin Newman]

Hair growing is great. Obviously, like, as the first.

[David Sims]

And then you cut to him.

[Griffin Newman]

Her freaking out rocks.

[David Sims]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

Because she literally wanted this to happen. And nonetheless is her. What the hell?

[David Sims]

My favorite thing is her Nazi out. Her Nazi outfit is smoking hot.

[Chris Gethard]

She looks really good.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah. I. I have less of a take on this than you guys. Did you see All Keeps steering us.

[Chris Gethard]

Chris, did you see Rrr. Rrr. The big Hollywood epic of a couple years ago?

[David Sims]

If it was. If it came out since Cal was born, I almost definitely.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay. She is in that, playing basically the older version of this character. Right. Like horrible colonialist woman.

[Ben Hosley]

I like to think with Grail Night that after this all goes down, he grabs a bottle of champagne that he's been holding on to and then like a streamer comes down that says happy retirement and balloons fall down from the ceiling.

[Chris Gethard]

He gets a bunch of like novelty greeting cards over the hill. Too old to count.

[Ben Hosley]

Exactly. He just sadly takes a swig out of the bottle and that's that.

[Chris Gethard]

They give him a gold watch and he's off. He moves into the Margaritaville intentional housing community.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah. So is everything about Indiana Jones better if this movie ends with that sequence? They leave, get on the horses, ride into the sunset. Spielberg just. Absolutely. Again, just kind of being like, you just do that best shot, cool shot, and then that's it.

[Chris Gethard]

And by the way, what I love.

[David Sims]

About it, Crystal Skull.

[Chris Gethard]

It goes on.

[David Sims]

Yeah, I think so.

[Chris Gethard]

It goes on for so long. It's one of those things as they're riding off into the sunset and the silhouettes, it's so beautiful. You're like, oh, I'm like conditioned from movies of like, at some point this will fade to black as the credits play. The shot goes on for like six minutes.

[Griffin Newman]

It's a real.

[Chris Gethard]

Kind of Gets so tiny.

[David Sims]

Yeah, yeah, it is like, I don't. Not to bring it back to something divisive, but because these are this sort of like old school serial style pulpy adventure, it's very, very easy to ignore the ones you don't like as much. Whereas Star wars, which obviously is connected, has this lore and this mythology and this religion.

[Griffin Newman]

But that would only be true if they had continued to make an indie. Every sort of like five to six years. Instead of like now we wait 17 years or whatever, or 19 years. However long you know, Crystal Skull comes out. The weight of expectation is far too large. It has to be about.

[Chris Gethard]

That's the problem.

[Griffin Newman]

Legacy, guys.

[Chris Gethard]

Crystal Skull and Dial of Destiny are like, how do we make a movie that responds to the weight of expectations of Indiana Jones is back and dealing with the advanced age and what is a proper ending?

[Griffin Newman]

Just a moment where in the mid-90s, Spielberg should have either just been like, fine, I'll make a fourth one. Like, we should just keep doing this or Done what he did with Jurassic park where he's like, like, I did three. I, you know, I did plenty. Like, someone else can do them.

[Chris Gethard]

But there's the thing we're not acknowledging here, which is that, like, Ford just always wanted to play the character again. Like, Ford wouldn't drop it and he wouldn't drop it. Like, please, please, please, guys.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah. But the problem is Lucas gets bogged down in starting with the prequels. Spielberg gets back down and being like a studio mogul who makes Schindler's List. And yeah, Oscar winning shit.

[David Sims]

I would still argue, like, one of the heartbreaking things about Star wars is the Mrs. Like, well, with Star wars.

[Griffin Newman]

It'S a woven together saga.

[David Sims]

But I think, and, and because of that, like, my son's gonna grow up with a Star wars where the misses do take away some of the magic that I got to grow up with. I do not think that Indiana Jones's misses Take away the magic of Raiders or last.

[Griffin Newman]

No, I think the two sequels being so far away, does. Does it mean you can kind of keep it hermetic.

[David Sims]

Even Temple. Even Temple's flaws.

[Griffin Newman]

Right, Sure.

[David Sims]

I could sit down. The Raiders is Crusade, rather. And some of this, obviously I have such clear, you know, personal memories of being in the theater with my dad, but has there ever been a time where Last Crusade or Raiders of the Lost Ark is on cable and you don't stop and watch for at least five or six minutes?

[Griffin Newman]

No.

[David Sims]

Like, it's one of those. It is always in forever. Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And nothing can ding that. And I think it is because, like, you know, they, they. The guys who wrote the Pirates of the Caribbean movies talk about when that first movie was such a surprise success and they were like, disney wants a trilogy. The first question they asked themselves was, are we Star wars or Indiana Jones? And I think a lot of franchises these days make the mistake of being like, we have to be Star Wars. We have to try to weave an intentional epic, a narrative that feels like it was planned from the beginning, all these things. And there's like a real benefit to being like Indiana Jones. Make it up as you go along. Just have fun, play around, you know. And I think that does help its legacy, where you're just like, there's nothing any amount of other Indiana Jones shit can do that will ever damage the earlier films. Like, you're like, it probably would have been better if they never made a fourth or fifth movie. But I also don't think they really take away from. From anything. Whereas, let's talk about Star Wars. But there's shit in Rise of Skywalker. I'm like, it leads up to that. That does sort of color other shit for me. You know, as much as the movies, like themselves are objects that can't be.

[David Sims]

Damaged, there's these moments that do get, like, you watch Andor and you sit there and you're like, oh, the way that they are looking back at the original movie and this series actually shows you, like, no, this had. This world had turned into a fascist dystopian nightmare. And then you think about how Rogue One leads into it, and you go, like, man, people had gotten to the point where they're, like, killing their own allies for making noise to make sure they don't get killed. And that's so grim and it's so dark. And then you think about the foolishness of a teenage kid going, oh, the Death Star. It's not much worse than shooting out a womp rat back home. And you're like, you needed a kid that naive to be able to pull this off. And in a hopeless world, everyone must have andor does such a good job of getting it back. The grimness of the audacity of even having hope. And some of those attempts at Star wars do get it back, which is why Last Jedi. Making Luke cynical is an absolute betrayal.

[Chris Gethard]

David, how'd this movie do at the box office?

[Griffin Newman]

So May Memorial Day, 1989. It's the. Like we said, the. To be clear, George Lucas, that was.

[Chris Gethard]

His entire plan, doing a bunch of handshakes.

[David Sims]

I wanted to avoid it, but you set it up.

[Griffin Newman]

All cynicism curdles.

[Chris Gethard]

You have to do it. You had to say no.

[Griffin Newman]

Idealism last. Even Tintin and the Picaros, the final completed Tintin novel. Right, the graphic novel, whatever.

[David Sims]

I don't love that you pointed at my hairline.

[Chris Gethard]

Specifically the hairline. Not even at you.

[Griffin Newman]

You know, Tintin is always a fairly idealistic person, right? And it's only in. Literally in pretty much in the last few books. You're starting to see, like, a bit of the slightest edge with him. But it's only Tintin and the picross, which is the final book Herr Jay completed before he died, where Tintin suddenly is not wearing his plus fours. The pants he used to wear, he's wearing longer pants. Yeah, he's wearing, like, sort of flared pants.

[David Sims]

I love you making direct eye contact and screaming.

[Griffin Newman]

I want you to hear about Tintin.

[David Sims]

This is you giving, handing me my ass after years of me tormenting.

[Griffin Newman]

Right. And Tintin, the pecros is about. They go to this sort of fictional Latin American country that's been in the books before, and their friend General Alcazar, who they've had adventures with before, he's been. He's on the outs. He's become this kind of guerrilla fighter. They help him take over and kick out the sort of. The mean general who's in charge. Right. But the mo. The book begins with them landing, like, the plane, and you sort of see the city, and there's like a cop spinning, you know what a bat, you know, whatever.

[David Sims]

Billy club.

[Griffin Newman]

Billy club, Right. And then in the end of the book when they're leaving, you see the same cop. He's just got a different uniform on. And there's sort of Herge's cynicism abounds a little bit. And Tintin is more cynical of just like, we're not. We're not really doing good here. You know what I mean?

[David Sims]

Creator cynicism or.

[Griffin Newman]

Yes, the creator. But you see it in Tintin for.

[Chris Gethard]

The first time, starting to bleed in.

[Griffin Newman]

Yes. And it's so fascinating to me. I get the point.

[David Sims]

You're making any sounds like what you're saying is that General Alkas are. Is the fisto of Tintin.

[Griffin Newman]

I mean, I. General Alcazar is a character I truly adore. So, sure, yes, I'll. I'll go with that.

[Chris Gethard]

But also to just bring this all together, Right. Like, I love the Tintin movie. You love the Tintin movie. Spielberg made his Tintin movie.

[Griffin Newman]

He did. Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

That is.

[Griffin Newman]

That's more classic Tintin of like, he's the. He's the sweet kid who. You know.

[Chris Gethard]

But also in direct relation to this movie, I'm like, that's just Spielberg having fun. That movie is not about anything. Not really about less than the books are.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

No, it is like filmmaking shit and him being like, look at what I can do with new technology. And I think you put that next to Last Crusade, and Last Crusade's got a little more on its mind than the Tintin movie as a text.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah. Last Crusade is.

[Chris Gethard]

Is quite a bit more. I should say not even a little more.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah. I just think at this point, Spielberg has more depth.

[Chris Gethard]

He does.

[Ben Hosley]

Oh, I just wanted to say Wet Chonker. The actor's name is JJ Hardy.

[Chris Gethard]

There we go. Yeah. Of course. That's.

[David Sims]

Read up that guy's.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

So it opens, number one, Griffin, $37 million Memorial Day week. For the morning.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

For the four day. You.

[David Sims]

Now, please get me the name, individual names of all 2,000 wet mice.

[Chris Gethard]

All right, you're on it.

[Griffin Newman]

Number two at the box office. Griffin is a comedy from like a duo who did a lot of movies together. But I think this is seen as maybe their worst. I think it's also their last.

[Chris Gethard]

Is it another you?

[Griffin Newman]

No. What's that? Okay.

[Chris Gethard]

Is it a prior and wild.

[Griffin Newman]

Okay.

[David Sims]

Okay.

[Griffin Newman]

It is prior. Right. Another you is their second. True. Last is their second.

[Chris Gethard]

So this one is See no Evil, Hear no evil. I feel like a movie Ben likes or you would watch a lot as a child.

[Griffin Newman]

Obsessed.

[Ben Hosley]

That was weirdly this movie that I. I feel like I caught on cable TV enough times that then I ended up having it on vhs.

[Chris Gethard]

With the premise of what if one guy was blind and one guy was.

[Griffin Newman]

And they get involved in like a murder?

[Chris Gethard]

Right.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, but it's not. I haven't seen it. It's not well regarded. Right. This scene is a bad movie.

[Ben Hosley]

Well, because a lot of the comedy is based around their disabilities.

[Chris Gethard]

Sure, yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

Which the actors, of course, do not have.

[David Sims]

Right.

[Chris Gethard]

Another you is the one, though. That is like truly.

[Griffin Newman]

That's 1991. I mean, at that point, Prior must be really.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, he's not in good shape.

[Griffin Newman]

Struggling.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

Number three at the box office. A film we mentioned on this episode several times. Inspiration. Or maybe not inspiration. Heartwarming drama.

[Chris Gethard]

Field of Dreams.

[Griffin Newman]

Field of Dreams.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, wow.

[Griffin Newman]

Is doing great at the box office. Kind of like a little engine that.

[Chris Gethard]

Could type movie and will sort of sleep walk its way to a surprise best picture nomination. Correct.

[Griffin Newman]

Number four at the box office. This geth it get. Are you just leaving? Gu.

[David Sims]

I legitimately am about to miss my son's school.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, you gotta go leave.

[Chris Gethard]

So I gotta give you this.

[David Sims]

What's that?

[Chris Gethard]

I have long promised to send something for Cal, your son.

[David Sims]

Oh, that's so nice.

[Chris Gethard]

And you did send it.

[David Sims]

You sent a. You sent a kit fisto onesie when he was.

[Chris Gethard]

I did a couple times. I've asked for address to send it, but now I have it.

[David Sims]

I'm so sorry to have to run.

[Griffin Newman]

But I about trying to keep the train on time and now like Geff.

[Chris Gethard]

Has a heart out. I should have fun.

[Griffin Newman]

You guys are having fun. Crazy idiots.

[David Sims]

You want me to open this on mic?

[Chris Gethard]

I think so.

[David Sims]

A gift for my son.

[Chris Gethard]

I think so.

[David Sims]

It's also good to remind your viewers that I'm not a monster. I do have a life.

[Chris Gethard]

You do. And you're a dear friend.

[Griffin Newman]

You really have to stop looking at Reddit, Chris. Like 99% of people do not think you're a monster.

[David Sims]

I've also met so many blank check fans like I'll go on the road and they come to stand up shows of mine and they're are. They are lovely.

[Chris Gethard]

Yes. In person.

[Griffin Newman]

Great to hear.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[David Sims]

Absolutely.

[Chris Gethard]

There are two items in here.

[David Sims]

Oh my goodness.

[Chris Gethard]

And these are for your son.

[David Sims]

We've got a Star wars battle. Jedi verse. Darth City.

[Chris Gethard]

This is specifically a box set of the Jedi Wrecking Crew. It is your favorite moment. It is the three guys showing up to fight Sidious. This is really other item amazing which I couldn't believe existed.

[David Sims]

Transformers dude. A Kit Fisto Transformer.

[Chris Gethard]

It is a robot Kit Fisto that transforms into Kit Fisto Starfighter.

[David Sims]

That's so sick.

[Chris Gethard]

It just feels like your son's at Star wars age now. It's time.

[David Sims]

Star wars age and Transformers age.

[Chris Gethard]

Here we go.

[Griffin Newman]

He's Delta 7 aspirate class.

[David Sims]

I'm truly touched. Thank you.

[Chris Gethard]

You're welcome.

[David Sims]

Sorry.

[Ben Hosley]

Thanks for doing the admin.

[Chris Gethard]

Anything to plug. You're doing your new show at ucb.

[David Sims]

That show at ucb, hosted by Chris Gether. It's selling out months in advance. I'm not sure why, but I'm very flattered.

[Chris Gethard]

Live in New York, but also live stream. Tickets available.

[David Sims]

Tickets first. Yeah. It's the last Wednesday of every month.

[Chris Gethard]

Beautiful. Anonymous.

[David Sims]

Still going strong. It's a good look at humanity. One human at a time. Thanks, everybody.

[Ben Hosley]

We'll drop links in the episode description.

[Chris Gethard]

For all that and get us running with a box full of Kit Fisto toys. Send Heli and your son might love.

[David Sims]

Thank you, guys.

[Chris Gethard]

Sorry about that. No, no. Did we finish the 5?

[Griffin Newman]

Number 4 at the box office? Cult movie. Not really a big hit at the time. People forget. I mean, it was a. Whatever.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay.

[Griffin Newman]

It was a reasonable hit, but has become quite a cult movie.

[Chris Gethard]

Has become quite a cult movie. Give me a genre.

[Griffin Newman]

Action.

[Chris Gethard]

Action.

[Griffin Newman]

I guess. It was recently remade.

[Chris Gethard]

It was recently remade.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah. It's kind of like an action drama. How to describe it? It's Wikipedia describes it as an action film.

[Chris Gethard]

What studio distributed the picture?

[Griffin Newman]

United Artists. Silver film. Joel Silver film.

[Chris Gethard]

It's not Red Dawn.

[Griffin Newman]

Nope. But you've got the right actor.

[Chris Gethard]

It's a Swayze. Huh?

[Griffin Newman]

What is it?

[Chris Gethard]

What's not Point Break? That's later.

[Griffin Newman]

No Swayze movie. That's a big.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, Roadhouse. Yeah, Roadhouse. Sorry.

[Griffin Newman]

What do you think of Roadhouse?

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, I get it. It's never been mine. But I'm like. I understand the cult around it.

[Griffin Newman]

Like Roadhouse.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, yeah, of course yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

Fun.

[Ben Hosley]

Yeah, man. He was a philosophy major.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah.

[Ben Hosley]

But now he's a freaking best bouncer around.

[Chris Gethard]

He rips out throats.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah, dude. Number five at the box office. Office is a film that I. I think I've described on this podcast. It's very specific film. It's a major movie star who often would direct himself, but this is one of the ones where he's being directed by one of his guys.

[Chris Gethard]

It's a Clint.

[Griffin Newman]

It's a Clint movie.

[Chris Gethard]

Is it like Firefox?

[Griffin Newman]

Not Firefox. Clint directed Firefox.

[Chris Gethard]

Okay, but it's in that zone. It's not Iger Sanction. That's earlier.

[Griffin Newman]

Clint also directed the er, Sanction, which is an amazing movie.

[Chris Gethard]

Which ones he didn't direct.

[Griffin Newman]

Well, I. I'll say this. I described it, I think on the show as what if Clint Eastwood played Jean Parmesan? Because it's one of those movies where you're like. It's about like kind of a skip tracer. Right. He's this guy who.

[Chris Gethard]

Who like Bronco Billy.

[Griffin Newman]

What is not Bronco Billy.

[Chris Gethard]

I don't know what that movie is.

[Griffin Newman]

Also directed. That. That's a really good movie.

[Chris Gethard]

Damn it.

[Griffin Newman]

Skip tracer. You know, so like a guy who like, basically finds people.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

And the premise of the movie is like, he's really good at like, like donning disguises to catch people. And like, he is not. They are Gene Parmesan level.

[Chris Gethard]

Is it called the Blank?

[Griffin Newman]

No, it's called Pink Cadillac.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh, I never knew that's what that movie was about. I guess you've told me. It's.

[Griffin Newman]

It's a Buddy Van Horn movie. Buddy Van Horn also directed Any which way you can and the Deadpool Pink Catalog opening at number five. So I think probably not one of his bigger success for him. Only made $12 million. But Clinton and Bernardette Peters.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

Big two. You've also got K9. The. That's the Jim Belushi dog movie.

[Chris Gethard]

Right. Outgrow, Sing Turner and Hoosh.

[Griffin Newman]

No. There you go. You've got Pet Cemetery, the original adaptation of Pet Cemetery. That is pretty good. Yeah. Solid movie. Pretty scary. Directed by Mary Lambert.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah, that's a well made film.

[Griffin Newman]

You have a film that Ben likes a lot. A little movie called Major League.

[Chris Gethard]

Well, well, well.

[Griffin Newman]

And Bob Eureka just died. You know, Bob Euker, the announcer. Bob Euker is a famous announcer, but he also was really funny. And so he's the announcer in Major League. And he has two of my favorite line deliveries ever. One, of course, is just a Bit outside, which is so funny.

[Chris Gethard]

Kind of a proto Fred Willard and best in show performance.

[Griffin Newman]

But I. I just. It just always gets me where he's like, you know, saying like setting up like, all right. And it's all stakes on the line and then the. The other team gets a hint. He goes, ah. Just always makes me like, can we do Major League? Yes, we can. We can just do it.

[David Sims]

We can just do it.

[Chris Gethard]

Can do whatever the we want.

[Griffin Newman]

We run this we want.

[Chris Gethard]

We're in charge. We have no bosses.

[Griffin Newman]

The we always were kind of like, oh, well, maybe we'll do David S. Ward. It's like, we're not going to do that. The directors.

[Chris Gethard]

Maybe we do David S. No.

[Ben Hosley]

Come on.

[Chris Gethard]

We're finally going to knock out some David S. Ward this.

[Griffin Newman]

So I think we could do Major Leagues 1 and 2 on our Patreon. Do we do Back to the Mind?

[Chris Gethard]

We have to.

[Griffin Newman]

It's not too good.

[Chris Gethard]

They're Bacula.

[Griffin Newman]

Bacula. Hazebert, Hayesbert and Bernstein, I think are the two holdovers from the back and back.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

Is Major League 2 any.

[Chris Gethard]

I love Major League. I think that that was the one I want.

[Griffin Newman]

Well, that's a crazy.

[Chris Gethard]

But that might have just been. It was.

[Ben Hosley]

I actually kind of prefer it too.

[David Sims]

It was even more.

[Chris Gethard]

More regular rotation on like Comedy Central. I sought so many more.

[Griffin Newman]

Truly.

[Ben Hosley]

I have cried at Major League 2 many, many times.

[Chris Gethard]

I like the arc of Wild Thing trying to go normal.

[David Sims]

Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

And I find the moment at the end where he goes full well, then.

[Griffin Newman]

I think we need to watch Major League.

[Chris Gethard]

Great. Then we'll do Major League.

[Griffin Newman]

Yeah. Number nine, Rain man, which has been in the box office for like six. Six months or.

[Chris Gethard]

Right. The highest grossing film of the year.

[Griffin Newman]

Before four, I think.

[Chris Gethard]

So it's still. Yeah.

[Griffin Newman]

And then number 10 at the box office is a movie called Scandal. Looks like a sort of erotic British. Oh, no, it's a British. It's about the Profumo affair. Very famous British sex scandal. Stars John Hurt and Joanne. Joanne. Wally, the wife of Val Kilmer as Christine Keiller. That's the box office game. We're done with Indiana Jones Last Crusade. Our guest had to leave.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. Box full of fisto.

[Griffin Newman]

With a box full of fisto.

[Chris Gethard]

And we.

[Griffin Newman]

I have a pie from Chris.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. He gave you a pie. In celebration of your. Your. I was. I was about to say growing family, but grown family. It is now reached its maximum size.

[Griffin Newman]

So tired and hungry.

[Chris Gethard]

Great. So the episode's over.

[Griffin Newman]

The episode is over. Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

I love this movie. Thanks. You all I thanks for listening.

[Griffin Newman]

It's a good and it's also as much as Spielberg is, it's time for him to put aside childish things. He then makes two kind of ungainly, flawed films before Jurassic Park.

[Chris Gethard]

Yeah. Next week we'll talk about always a very weird kind of total miss for him in terms of public, you know, response at the box office and critics and all of it with our friend Richard Lawson returning to the show was kind of his major league too growing up, a movie he watched a weird number of times.

[Griffin Newman]

And over on the Patreon we are talking Star Trek the Next Generation and the next movie we are talking about is Star Trek Nemesis. Wrapping it up, the end of that, Stuart Baird's Star Trek Nemesis.

[Chris Gethard]

Should we say what we're doing next after that?

[Griffin Newman]

Well, we have Galaxy Quest.

[Chris Gethard]

Oh great. So then we'll save it. But we're doing Galaxy Quest after Nemesis. Great.

[Griffin Newman]

So like it's still a few more weeks of that. Yeah.

[Chris Gethard]

Cool. Thank you all for listening. And as always, I sent my manager the Draft Day link. She responded, we'll look into it. And I just want to, on the record say I predict nothing will ever come of this.

[Griffin Newman]

You predict they will not look into it?

[Chris Gethard]

I'm predicting this is the last I hear about it.

[Ben Hosley]

Blank Check with Griffin and David is hosted by Griffin Newman and David Sims. Our executive producer is me, Ben Hosley. Our creative producer is Marie Barty Salinas and our Associate producer is AJ McKeon. This show is mixed and edited by AJ McKeon and Alan Smithee, research by JJ Burch. Our theme song is by Lane Montgomery and the Great American Novel with additional music by Alex Mitchell, artwork by Joe Bowen, Ollie Moss, and Pat Reynolds. Our production assistant is Minick. Special thanks to David Cho, Jordan Fish and Nate Patterson for their production help. Head over to blankcheckpod.com for links to all of the real nerdy shit. Join our Patreon Blank Check special features for exclusive franchise commentaries and bonus episodes. Follow us on Social blankcheckpod. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter Checkbook on Substack. This podcast is created and produced by Blank Check Productions.