Bill Burr

Summary

Podcast Summary: Blocks w/ Neal Brennan – Bill Burr (March 21, 2024)

Overview

In this rich, funny, and revealing episode of Blocks, host Neal Brennan sits down with legendary comedian Bill Burr to discuss the "blocks" of loneliness, anger, generational trauma, the struggle with emotional openness, and the journey to self-acceptance. Their conversation, marked by mutual respect and comedic candor, navigates family, masculinity, therapy, the comedy grind, societal contradictions, and the persistent human search for meaning.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comedy, Pain, and Emotional Openness

• Neal gives Burr his comedic flowers, celebrating his consistency and originality (00:25–01:45).
• Burr admits to historically avoiding emotional topics: "I'm definitely more hair metal than grunge… We just sort of rocked our way through it" (Bill Burr, 02:33).
• Emotional pain was walled off with aggression and humor, a survival tactic forged during his youth (03:12–04:08).
• Both discuss how shifting generational norms affect men’s willingness to show vulnerability.

2. Parenting, Family Patterns, and Growth

• Bill recounts trying to avoid repeating the volatile conflicts of his upbringing: "I hated those when I was a kid. They really [mess] me up." (06:19)
• He shares moments of accountability with his children, owning up to mistakes and prioritizing honest apology (07:09–07:44).
• Both men express increased empathy for their fathers as they age, recognizing limited emotional resources handed down (08:02–09:00).
• On raising kids, Bill says: "My daughter's always like, can you guys stop? She calls it squabbling. And then we just stop." (05:56–06:19)
• Burr is keenly aware of not putting his unresolved issues onto his children, and wants to help them grow into their own personalities: "I'm probably too lenient… But I try to be conscious of how their personalities develop." (65:49)

3. Generational & Societal Critique

• Neal and Bill explore the myth of the "Greatest Generation," exposing selective memory around racial and economic injustices (08:37–09:44).
• A vivid critique of "tech bros" vs. "nerds" and the ways tech culture exploits art and labor: "They never get blamed for anything… These fucking nerds are taking all the money while they’re acting like they have none." (Burr, 09:44–11:17)
• Bill highlights hypocrisy in American consumer attitudes, political divisions stoked by media, and the cyclical nature of exploitation (14:24–14:46).

4. Intelligence, Spirituality, and the Problem of Evil

• Discussion on intelligence: "People think...you read a book and you become smarter. You don't become smarter, you just know that information..." (11:28–12:14)
• Burr’s skepticism towards conventional religious narratives: "Am I supposed to sit here and think that there's a God that gives a fuck when he does such shoddy work?" (13:31–14:01)
• The parallels between religiosity and American institutional manipulation (14:24–14:46).
• Existential musings on the futility of seeking a 'perfect' system: "There is no perfect. I think the reality is, what we're doing is the best we've got." (18:50–19:15)

5. Depression, Coping Mechanisms, and Therapy

• Burr openly shares his ongoing relationship with depression: "There's just shit that happened to me that, you know, you don't get over it. You manage it." (23:30)
• Stand-up as a coping and validation mechanism: "I'm doing it 90% for me. I'm fucked up. By making you laugh, I feel approval, and I feel better about myself." (24:12–24:26)
• On therapy, mushrooms, and the self-discovery that revealed how deep childhood sadness ran, versus his tough "hair metal" mask (44:29–46:21).

6. Professional Growth, Community, and Comedy as Survival

• Burr recalls surviving brutal New York comedy scenes, embracing both the pain and the camaraderie: "It was an asshole think tank… We thought about dumb things, mean things to say to each other." (54:44–55:08)
• The "you too" ranking system among comics—a brutally honest measure of set success (55:17–56:01).
• Adapting to new scenes and technology: Burr is optimistic for younger comics—"The level of power they have is really cool. It's just different, not easier." (52:26–53:13)
• Burr’s advice for any workspace: "Feed the crew. It shows you give a shit… It's the best money you'll ever spend." (38:20–38:59)

7. Human Nature, Anger, and Softening with Age

• Burr reflects on being both toughened and traumatized: "All the pain that you have in life… if you survive it, it makes you tougher if you don't give into it. But you can let that thing take you out." (57:36)
• The effort to avoid passing on trauma: "One of the advantages I have is I haven't forgot what it's like to be a kid." (32:18)
• Failures and accountability, especially in parenting: "Have I been able to move the process up to not [react]? No, I have not gotten that belt at the emotional dojo yet." (31:53–32:09)

Memorable Moments & Quotes (with Timestamps)

• The "Metal/Grunge Divide":
  • "I'm definitely more hair metal than grunge. More hair metal than grunge because hair metal bands had their pain, but we just sort of rocked our way through it." (Burr, 02:33)
• On Generational Empathy:
  • "Unless somebody wants to or can even acknowledge what they're doing… the previous generation's big: 'Oh, that never happened. It wasn't that bad. When you have a family, do it perfect.'" (Burr, 08:07)
• On Comedy, Validation, and Depression:
  • "How I felt about myself was literally how my last set went." (Burr, 24:25)
• On Being a Parent:
  • "If my daughter is putting on an outfit and she doesn't like it, the fucking outfit's gone. You can't go to school questioning your outfit because the sharks come." (32:33–32:44)
• On Angry God:
  • "What are we doing here? Am I supposed to sit here and think that there's a God that gives a fuck when he does such shoddy work?" (13:31)
• On Therapy and Mushrooms:
  • "I had a two-week period of euphoria, like 10 days. Then all of a sudden, this darkness came in...profound sense of sadness…and the answer comes into your head: Oh, this is how you felt as a kid." (44:41–46:21)
• On ‘U2’ and ‘Stick With It’ Comedy Rankings:
  • "The worst one was: Stick with it." (Burr, 55:50)
• On Growth and Self-Acceptance:
  • "When I bought a house…2011…with my wife, I said, I know I'm not supposed to say this, but I made it." (Burr, 26:16)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:25–01:45: Neal celebrates Burr's contributions to comedy.
• 02:33–04:08: Bill on emotional avoidance and aggression.
• 05:56–07:44: Parenting, apologies, and family fights.
• 09:44–11:17: Tech bros, exploitation, and cultural shifts.
• 14:24–16:14: Religion, propaganda, and political media.
• 23:30–24:26: Comedy as therapy.
• 31:53–32:33: Accountability and emotional growth.
• 38:20–38:59: Work culture, feeding the crew.
• 44:29–46:21: Mushrooms and realizations about childhood sadness.
• 54:44–56:01: Comedy scenes and “U2” ranking system.
• 65:49–66:38: On letting his kids develop their own personalities.

Conclusion

This episode is a masterclass in candid self-examination, comedic insight, and intergenerational healing. Bill Burr’s evolution from a walled-off, angry stand-up into a more reflective—if still irreverent—father and artist is unpacked with warmth, humor, and intellectual rigor. Neal Brennan’s probing yet empathetic questions pull out stories and philosophies that both comedians and civilians will find deeply relatable and rewarding.

[End of summary]

Transcript

[A]

Hey, I want to do an episode where I just answer your questions. So if you have any questions or comments or whatever you need, advice, you need, whatever you think I could help you with, no sketch questions. Hit me at Neil Brennan, blocksmail.com hello. My guest today is. I'm going to embarrass you. I would argue one of the. One of the best comedians ever. I would.

[B]

He's.

[A]

No one's made more good hour comedy specials than my guest today. And you're going, Neil, what about Richard Pryor? What about. I don't know what to tell you. This guy, to me, has more good whole standup comedy hours.

[B]

Did you audition to play Oppenheimer? I literally just watched that movie. And you're the same sort of killing and skinny. You got that? I could figure out. What is it? Astrophysics, Metaphysics? Whatever the fuck it was. Glasses on.

[A]

I know.

[B]

You look extra smart today.

[A]

Thank you very much.

[B]

I always like to start with a compliment.

[A]

No, I know. Well, that's the thing about you. I can compliment the hell out of you. It's not going to change a thing.

[B]

No, it doesn't.

[A]

You have some of my favorite bits ever. Let's name a couple golden diarrhea bits

[B]

where I actually spelled the word at the Cellar.

[A]

No, I don't remember that.

[B]

Hey, you know, I'm just saying your Schwarzenegger joke, not all of them were a sides.

[A]

Your black dudes wearing gay outfits. A great joke.

[B]

I don't give a shit what fucked up color their shirt is. They got a pair of shoes to match it and a hat.

[A]

Telling your wife to hit on you. Incredible joke. Going uptown, dating him when he was dating a black girl.

[B]

She lives in Harlem. I look how I look. So it's a fucking situation.

[A]

Fantastic. A lot. You got a lot of hits.

[B]

Yeah, a lot of hits.

[A]

And I don't think you get enough credit.

[B]

I'm playing the sphere soon. Once you two wraps up, you could

[A]

do one just your giant head. So.

[B]

All right.

[A]

So the podcast. Podcast is sort of predicated on talking about problems. You've gone in and out of talking about emotional problems. One of the things that you did an episode of the Moth podcast 15 years ago or something where you told a personal story about growing up that I heard it and was like, this is interesting to hear a comedian I really like talk about that. And it kind of inspired the free mics thing I did on Netflix in a weird way. Cause I was like, oh, this is an interesting thing to hear. I don't think you especially like Doing it. I think you'd rather just be fucking funny and opinionated.

[B]

I'm definitely hair metal than. More hair metal than grunch.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because hair metal bands had their pain, but we just sort of rocked our way through it.

[A]

I think you're saying we.

[B]

No. Cause Generation X, there's a dividing line.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

There's. You're on the hair metal, 80s side. Fucking metal. Beginning of speed metal and all of that shit. Or you're into the grunge stuff.

[A]

Yeah, you're.

[B]

You.

[A]

You're hair metal. But you have a. Now. But you. More and more you've talked about sort of like having a temper on stage.

[B]

Oh. They say. But more and more you're going to see like Madonna.

[A]

Yeah, but you did go see Madonna.

[B]

Yeah, I blew it. I blew it with like. I was like really. Like, I was almost borderline racist with my. With my music where I was just like, there's only one kind of music. This is superior. Like, if I had just switched a few words, I could have been the grand dragon of the clan. Except I wasn't talking about people. I would only listen to metal. And what it really was, was I was. I was so walled off emotionally that anything that actually brought up feelings to me, like, I didn't want to feel them because I knew that that was. That was a free fall into this 800 pound gorilla that I ignored until my 40s and so anything.

[A]

So you would just focus on anger.

[B]

Aggression. Yeah, aggression I related to. You know, all those metal bands had their ballads, sure, but that was always

[A]

about like one chick.

[B]

That's what I loved about the metal bands. They played the ballad, you know, they were trying to get. And they go like, here got you laid too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cause not all those chicks made it backstage. Some of them stayed in the crowd and fucked us. Yeah, those bands were great. And what I love too is that they, you know, everybody could play. They could really fucking play. And it wasn't just about being able to play. Like, you had to like shred. Like there was an insane. And the level of musicianship because there was no Internet. We were all just rewinding cassette tapes and slowing down records. I say we like. I mean, I was trying to do that, but there was always just that gifted kid that could figure it out. Like guitars.

[A]

They all seem like they went to Berkeley school. Like whenever you do research about CC Deville or any of these people from like.

[B]

No, those guys were all self taught.

[A]

They were self taught.

[B]

Yeah, you were self taught. You found somebody else and then There was always these rumors, you know, there's always a guy two towns over that could play Eruption. You know what I mean? Dude, I was at a party. I saw.

[A]

Played it. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And like, what? I. What? I feel bad for kids today because they don't get a chance to develop like a scene because everyone's just like filming it. And like, and I even have it, like, if, if something happened in the middle of a jungle in Africa, if there's no video, I'm like, what the fuck? You know, like, how is there no video? But, but back then, what was funny was like, you know, there's this guy and like the myth of it and people would just keep adding to it. It would become like this giant fish story, how big a fish it caught and. But it was just like, you know, he can play it. I saw it. I was there. Really?

[A]

Dude.

[B]

I mean, he wasn't even looking at the fretboard. He was just fucking ripping.

[A]

Yeah. Now when you're. When you do talk about like more, you talk about anger more, right? Well, I talk.

[B]

No, I don't see that. You don't.

[A]

Well, you talked about like your daughter saying like, daddy, your daughter kind of intervening. Right. You did that joke at Red Rocks.

[B]

Yeah, she had a great one. One day she just goes, dad, can you stop being mad now? And I just laughed and I go, all right. But I don't get like, I don't get mad at them. They're too cute and funny. But you know, I get into it with my wife. I mean, I definitely do that. But then my daughter's always like, can you guys stop? She calls it squabbling. And then we just stop and. But I'm really good about not having a lot of those because I hated those when I was a kid. And they really me up.

[A]

Fights? Yeah, parental fights.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They really fuck a kid up. And like what I was watching like a one sided sort of beating verbally. Just. Yeah. And you just learn all these really bad things.

[A]

You think it's avoidable because I similar position. And then I would find myself kind of doing the same thing in arguments.

[B]

Like, no, it's. It's apologizing and taking accountability is a huge thing. Like, I hate to say this, but this morning my son was driving up the wall, me up the wall. And he kept going like, I want to listen to AC dc, Dad. I want to AC dc. Right. Which is awesome. He has this whole Angus impression and I'm trying to make him waffles. And then you pick the Song. And he's going, this isn't the song.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Da da, da, da da. And I finally just said, you know, I'm like. I go, geez, you shut up. I'm gonna do it. Or whatever. And then, you know, my daughter's like, don't say as subtitles. And I immediately felt bad. And then. But then, you know, like a minute later, I said to him, sorry, I said that, or whatever.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Nia goes, I heard you say that. I just, you know, they always got. They always got to get like the. Yeah. Like, if I heard her do that and then she apologized. Yeah. I would be thinking, good. That's. That's a beautiful thing. She's an adult.

[A]

What about with Nia? Cause that's the thing. Like, I was finding my. I don't have kids. I'm involved with the kid now, but longer story, but, like, the. I would find myself with exes doing moves that my dad would do. My dad, who I didn't like, and I'd be like, fuck, I'm doing it.

[B]

Nobody liked their dad from our generation.

[A]

You now, you're more sympathetic to him, right?

[B]

I mean, I let a lot of shit go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But, like, you know, the information didn't exist back then. No. And it's just not something that's going to be resolved. Like, that generation, they're like a satellite. They have like a. You know, there's a course that was set and they're sent off, and that's it. And you realize that unless somebody wants to or can even acknowledge that what they're doing, because the previous generation's big. Oh, that never happened. It wasn't that bad. Well, when you have a family, you fucking do it perfect. Like, that's the best you're going to get.

[A]

I kind of feel like they were better than their parents, 100%.

[B]

That whole bullshit about the greatest generation. And then everybody. Because Tom Brokaw said it, one guy says that, and then that becomes the greatest generation. If you look at where race relations were, the greatest generation, he's talking about World War II simultaneously, like, segregation was going on. Brutal segregation.

[A]

Top of the charts.

[B]

Yeah, top of the charts. Segregation. Right. And it's just like. Yeah. And he's sitting there. It's a very compartmentalized white way of looking at a certain moment in history and just being like, these guys were the greatest. Well, maybe with the information they had or whatever. But there was a lot of things that were going on back then that weren't great. A lot of things that are coming back. Like you just saw like in Arkansas, they made it okay for a 13 year old to go work in a factory. And you know what they're gonna do? They're gonna fire their parents that are full time with benefits. And then you gotta compete with your own kid. They have so exhausted sweatshop labor around the world and we've all ignored it here because it didn't affect us. And now they're gonna bring it back here, but it's not gonna work. It's not gonna work.

[A]

Did you ever work up how much child labor there was in the early 1900s?

[B]

I remember reading horrible stories about debtors prison, whole families being in there, no way of getting out. And then also like, you know, eight year olds like doing in the 1800s during the between. Well, I love, I love, I love what they call like the robber baron era. Like that ever ended. Yeah, I'll tell you, nothing that's really annoying the out of me right now is that expression tech bro. Tech bro. So they, they can't. They nerds. Nev. Near nerds are like women. They never get blamed for anything. So tech bro makes it frat boy adjacent. Like there's some bro with his hat backwards. It's like frat guys, they, that was an individual like hurting of human beings. What these fucking nerds do and what they have created and how little they value, they've devalued, like art. So now we're all working and it's like with each, like the pool just keeps shrinking and shrinking and shrinking. And these tech bros, no, these fucking nerds are taking all the money while they're acting like, oh, you know, we don't have any fucking money. And then the next quarter, like, you know, like that Spotify shit. That Spotify shit. You see these major artists, they just took all their music, they're making billions off of it, and then sending like some icon a check for like 1800 bucks. And so then they go tech bro. So it continues that stupid, you know, argument of male, you know, toxicity. But it's the same guy.

[A]

Well, yeah, it's, it's, it's bros. It's not just like the system. It's just a couple bros. Yeah, it's not like. No, the whole thing is predicated on, on people.

[B]

Yeah, that's what's funny. Like I, I love Barbie and I also loved Oppenheimer, but I thought Oppenheimer, like if I was a feminist, like, that's the movie. If you really want to see an indictment on men, that movie is amazing. And what I love about it is it shows a wide variety of men. And then it also shows all of them had like that weakness. And you know, some of them were petty, some were vindictive, some were just dumb. And then you just see like something that I've been thinking about is like, you know, just like intelligence, like what people's understanding of what being smart even is like. People think, you know, you read a book and you become smarter. You don't become smarter, you just know that information, if you can retain it, you didn't get smarter.

[A]

Rock said one time he was, we were talking about somebody, he goes, is he smart? And I go, yeah, he went to Yale. And he goes, I didn't ask, does he have a good computer? I said, is he smart?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is like, tell what, what do you think of me? Just to me, it's being able to take information and have a new thought around it.

[B]

It's how you process information. But then there's all different levels of that. A bit I've been doing in my act, people go, hey, Bill, you're a smart guy. It's like, yeah, in a bar,

[A]

yeah,

[B]

it's a bunch of sports fans around, I can hold my own and maybe know a little bit about this or you know, a little bit about music,

[A]

or I can talk about statistics.

[B]

Yeah, but there's. Then there's like the people that discover shit. Like nothing I'm ever going to do is going to require someone to write a book about it unless they're just trying to make money off some cheesy fucking somebody in the public eye. Right. But like quantum physics, like somebody like people figured that out before there was a book on it. Okay. And then it's like these super smart people have to then to explain it to a less smart person who then writes a book. And then they see if yours or I are smart enough to read this, retain it and be able to apply it. And most people drop the class by October. So that's the whole fucking thing. But yeah, no, I'm fascinated with the idea of a higher power that cares, that simultaneously makes sociopaths and dumb people at the same time. It's like, you can't tell me that that's not designed to fail. Am I supposed to sit here and think that there's a God that gives a fuck when he does such shoddy work? Yeah, I don't buy, I don't buy the built in excuse of the devil because that's also God's creation. So what are we doing? What are we doing here?

[A]

Try to get a straight story about what the devil is like. If you read about it, you're like, wait, he worked for God and then he didn't, then he left. Or him and God had gone out

[B]

and God could have just handled him and he didn't.

[A]

But why would he then punish people for disobeying God again? It's one of these things where you're like, wait, what? It's another Bible story where you're like, what happened?

[B]

That's why I feel like the same group owns Fox News and cnn. The whole thing is just designed to have you be divided. Like those two things out of everything that they're talking about. This is wrecking America.

[A]

This is.

[B]

Yeah, those two fucking channels. And what those people do every single day to just cause people, Americans to keep yelling at each other as they make it legal for a 13 year old to go to work in a factory. You know what the fuck they're doing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

These 13, what does he need cash for?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you got a baby at home

[A]

by the two and a half million kids working in child labor in the early 1900s.

[B]

I mean, and what was the population back then too?

[A]

Yeah, probably 100 some. And like the school didn't really take off till the early 19. It wasn't like, yeah, now you go to school. That was like, that was for rich people. Just when you look back at that shit, that's why I'm like, when you're talking about parents and grandparents, all that shit, it's like there was just a bunch of kind of borderline savagery and they're just trying to get through it and like even like misogyny or something.

[B]

I don't think any of that ever went away. Like, if you really look at, like, I can't get it. It's too big. When you look at, like just when you look at racism and how people look at other fucking people and how they can't apply it to their own group of people.

[A]

They can't.

[B]

I just like when racists will say black people are prone to violence and it's like, okay, I'll go with that. Then what are white people?

[A]

Right.

[B]

How many genocides do black people have under their belt versus us? And like, because ours has like uniforms and you know, we have songs and shit, like, you start looking at it, you know. And then another brilliant thing they did. They, they, they made this. If you criticize what we're doing with the troops, then you don't support the troops.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is hilarious. Because if I don't like the head coach of my team and I'm criticizing him, that doesn't mean I'm not a fan of a team. I'm actually criticizing because I am a fan. I love my team, right? I just, like, I want them to

[A]

not be in danger. I want the troops to not have to do dumb shit. I don't see how that's not supporting them. Like, I want to run in traffic. I don't want you. Why don't you support Mary? It's like, fuck.

[B]

You know, my favorite thing is right now is people that like gas combustion cars. And now they're. Now they're all concerned about the. How we're getting the natural resources for electric cars. I mean, it's just really, you're just like, are you really gonna sit there with a straight face and do that? But that's what human beings do. I do it. I've actually been beating myself up. The fact that I made myself a hero in that story with my wife, that if she said to my son to shut up, that I wouldn't have said anything when I saw it. Like, you know, and you let me

[A]

get away with it because I don't know enough. I'm not gonna meddle in your relationship.

[B]

And now I'm blaming you.

[A]

See?

[B]

So there you go. That's who I am.

[A]

Well, what do you think? Let's say you're like the. Let's say you're God. You know what I mean?

[B]

Like, I'd like to apologize to 87% of the people on the earth.

[A]

How would your right. No, but how.

[B]

What do you think my other 13%,

[A]

what do you think this shit should be like? Like, what do you think a good government, a good way of people being. Cause to me, it comes down to like, the human animal is like prone to greed and selfishness and everything after that is just trying to overcome that.

[B]

Well, I mean, that's a great debate. Are we prone to it? Did the greedy people set the game up so that's the carrot you would fucking run after? I don't know. But as far as like, how to fix it, there's no way to fix it. Human beings are inherently flawed, right? There's no, like, like the actually truly good empathetic people don't really want to govern people and tell them what to do. They kind of want to be left alone. But like psychos who aren't that smart. I mean, I think a really ignorant thought would be for me to sit here going like, you Know what? I know how to. Blah, blah, blah, how to do that. That's what dumb people think. And they go, I'm not even talking

[A]

about, like, you should do it or run for it. I'm just saying, like, what would you do? Because dealing with people, even if it's like, I have severe problems with most things, but I'm like, I don't know what the solution would be, my first

[B]

thought immediately, you got to go, Hitler. But with the right things, you got to have the final solution for positive Hitler. Positive Hitler. Just. You gotta. You gotta shave off the mustache.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

It's like when Spider man wears the red suit instead of the black suit. The sociopaths, narcissists, you. You'd have to totally change the history that we all kind of look and feel like that's what happened. You'd have to change a bunch of that. And I don't know how you would do it. There's no way to fix it. There is no way to fix it, because all of that. There's a fly in the ointment of everything. There is no perfect. I think the reality is, is what we're doing is the best we got. This is the best we can do.

[A]

I know.

[B]

This is really the best.

[A]

What do you hope for your kids in terms of, like, what. What's your goal for them?

[B]

Well, the number one thing would be the environment, that there's gonna be a world that they can, you know, live in. Yeah. Like, as major shit is happening. Like, they. I mean, I came watching. I haven't even watched a nature channel for, like, 15 years. Just watching every day the Great Barrier Reef dying and these major things going away. And I think, like, corporations, they have this psycho thing where they've paid off all the politicians and they're like, well, you know, if they don't want us to do it, then they can just make a law and we're just gonna keep doing it. And it's like. But you paid them off not to.

[A]

No, they're not going to. Yeah. But I'm wondering, do you practice what you pre? Like, do you feel bad flying? Cause I feel bad.

[B]

Do I practice what you pre. No, I'm. I'm a. Fuck it. I do the best I can. And then I'm constantly.

[A]

You're a longtime Prius driver. I know that to be true. You've had a Prius for a long. Or you now don't know what you have now, but you.

[B]

Yeah, I love that car. Yeah. And I love getting gay bash driving. It was Phenomenal. Because I watched those same people, when gas prices would go up, they would sneak over, be like, how's that? How does that thing do? What does that thing do? I guess so was your, what do

[A]

you, where do you stick your dick?

[B]

Yeah, no, I don't have a, I don't have an electric car right now.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I, I, But I mean, I like them. Yeah, no, I'm not saying, like, I'm not even.

[A]

It's just we're prime examples of like, oh, no, this is bad and I can't stop doing it, but I want everybody to stop doing the thing I want to do.

[B]

No, but it's also like, I also know that, like, the electric car isn't any cleaner. The thing that I liked about the electric car was I was under this false hope that if we did this, then it would finally get us out of the Middle east and we could stay out of that hornet's nest that you're not gonna be able to solve. But I realized later that we're over there on purpose and stirring it up because that's somehow good for a very small portion of people over here. I would think so. I don't watch the news, dude. I stay away from all that stuff. I just found I already have enough depression issues. I don't need to sit there and just watch. It's not even what these fucking people say.

[A]

It's watching people believe it and endorse it and go like, well, you know, cut to this person. Let me tell you. Yeah. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What's the first thing you do if you had an extra hour in your day? Huh? Go for a run, take a nap, Read a book, show up for a friend. Video games. A lot of us spend our lives wishing we had more time. The question is, time for what? Time was unlimited. How would you use it? Best way to squeeze that special thing into your schedule is to know what's important to you and make it a priority. Therapy can help you with what matters to you so you can do more of it. I've been going to therapy. I'm dating a therapist. I talk about therapy. I talk about therapy in my regular life. I talk about it on here, this award winning podcast. Helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries. Big on boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself and isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma yet. You don't have to have had a horrible thing happen to you. It can just be like a lot of little things that happen. Like there's a thing called death by a thousand cuts. I think that's what most of us are going through. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Learn to make time for what makes you happy with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.comneal today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. B e t t e r h e l p.com n e a L. You know, I've benefited from therapy. I won't stop talking about it. Never gone and been like, that was a waste of time. Do it. Do therapy. Betterhelp.com Neil, I got a question for you. How do you think your life's going to.

[B]

I think it's going great. Great. Yeah. Don't have a problem with it?

[A]

No, no, no, no. But I'm saying you're like, for all for the depression issues, you've said to me recently, like, about all your hobbies that you feel like you're trying to outrun sadness.

[B]

Yeah. No, because this shit's.

[A]

How long does it take for it to, like, come creeping? Like an hour?

[B]

Nah, a couple of weeks. Couple weeks, it comes back up. But there's just shit that happened to me that, you know, you don't get over it. You can address it, you can talk about it, you can take your mushrooms. But this shit that just happened to you, that it's. It just happened and there's nothing you can do about it. And, you know, the sadness of it doesn't go away, so I just sort of manage it. I'm just happy. I don't have, like, some clinical thing where it's like, I'm not even sad. My brain is just telling me I'm sad. Whatever that is. I don't have that. Like, my shit is like, you think

[A]

you don't have enough serotonin or dopamine or any of that shit?

[B]

I mean, I've heard those words. I don't know what. I know dopamine makes you feel good. I don't know what serotonin does.

[A]

So similar.

[B]

Oh, yeah. You know, people will come up to you as a comedian, be like, you realize, you know, what you do, making people laugh during hard times and blah, blah, blah. That's such a great thing you're doing. It's like Buddy. Like, I'm doing it for me also. I mean, I definitely. I mean, I'm doing it 90% me. I'm fucked up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I need to say these things. Make. By making you laugh, I feel approval, and I feel better about myself. I mean, when I was, like, in my 20s, I mean, I literally. How I felt about myself was literally how my last set went. Yeah. If it went great, I was like, okay, I thought it was cool. Right. And then if it went bad, I was like, I knew it. All these thoughts were true.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I would literally, like, not go to the movies. Just have to get another set in to just, you know, get it off you. Yeah. It's like a relief pitcher fucking giving up a home run. Give me another ball. I got to strike somebody out. So I. This baseball dream isn't over because that's really all the standup is. It's a. It's a dream. It's really happening. But it's not the same as a real relationship. It's like, you came down here, you took time off from work, you spent a bunch of money, and I'm gonna give you your money's worth. That's my responsibility. That's what I do, hopefully.

[A]

So you think it's a dream for you and them? Meaning, like, it's not a real. They're watching. Like, not a real person. It looks like a person just talking next, like, just off the top of

[B]

their head, but it's like, they are really watching me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because what I'm saying on stage is not like I'm fucking around, but I'm. I'm basically being what it's like to hang out with me unless I'm in stuff. Unless I'm in a pissy mood. I don't show those sides of me when I don't want to fucking talk to somebody. But, like, they. Yeah, they get in good mood, Billy.

[A]

They're getting positive Hitler.

[B]

Yeah. They're getting. They're getting Saturday Afternoon Bill. That's what they are. But that's why whenever somebody will yell out, I love you. I'm like, you love the idea of me talk to my wife. She has to live with me. She gets all the colors of the rainbow.

[A]

Have you gotten. Has that guy gotten better?

[B]

What guy?

[A]

The guy at home.

[B]

Oh, 100%.

[A]

How did you get over the thing of, like, I'm not. My last set.

[B]

I bought a house. I remember when I. When I bought a house. When did I buy it? 2011. I was, like, 43 years old. I Bought my first house. And I remember standing on the back porch with my lovely wife and I said, I know I'm not supposed to say this, but I made it and that. And I'm not buying into this whole thing. Like, no, man, don't be satisfied. Don't get happy, don't get too happy. All of that dumb shit that people say to you. And it's like, you know, and we didn't even have kids. It's like, I'm with the woman of my dreams. I have a house. I have a fucking parking spot. Like, just little things, you know, I have enough room to have an end table, you know. You know, that whole fucking New York experience, whatever that was, that for whatever reasons New Yorkers just think is the greatest fucking way ever to live. Like, dude, I got a balcony. And you just see it, it's.

[A]

And then it's like they're always like. They're like obstructed view.

[B]

It's just fucking. It's an ant farm.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they just stand you up. And then if you ever get anything, what I always hated to actually get, just basically a livable space. I'm talking like Manhattan, because when I lived there, Brooklyn hadn't blown up. It was just starting to. Whatever. I'm talking like, you had to, like, you had to live like 40 floors up. And then there's a doorman and there's all of these fees and stuff. And then you can't even enjoy your space because this pressure, like those fucking doorman buildings. Even if you were to just buy the apartment and pay it off, it's like 10, 15 grand a month maintenance.

[A]

I don't think it's that high. But yeah, there is maintenance and like fees and all that and hoa.

[B]

You sure about that? Yeah, depends on the building. And one of those fucking glass towers. Because like once.

[A]

Oh yeah, because we had a little

[B]

ass apartment, you know, when we were there. So we were thinking about, oh, maybe we'll get like a doorman thing, you know, we got the kids now, something safe or whatever. And I looked for like a day. I was like, this is the stupidest thing. All of those glass towers, they have the doorman, all the maintenance fees.

[A]

You had a bit.

[B]

I was like, dumb. I just want to be paid off and fuck off. That's all. I. That's all. You know, you still have to pay property taxes, but you know, every American has that dream. I just want to be fucking left alone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Can I just. Can I just sit here and have a fucking sandwich? You know what I mean? Without you scaring the shit out of me about something happening and people coming to get me and a fucking asteroid and all that. So I just, I don't do anything, dude. I hang with my kids, I hang with my wife, I fucking drink coffee, I laid off the cigars, I play drums. I'm into aviation. That's what I do. And I got a little motorcycle too, that I ride around the airport. I'm too afraid to ride on the roads.

[A]

And you just ride up and down like Top Gun or something.

[B]

I'm not racing. Everybody always says Top Gun. Like racing.

[A]

I don't know. You say airport?

[B]

Well, no, you have, there's like the taxiways and stuff. And then further in from that where you're taxiing to the taxiways there. I'm going like 30, 40 miles an hour. And I just absolutely, I have like an ear to ear grin whenever I stop flying. You know, when I'm done flying and I put it away and then I just get on that thing and I just do a couple of laps and I have a fucking ear to ear grin. And I love machines and I miss driving like a stick and all of that. And I love downshifting and all of that. And all the stuff that I remember from a kid looking through the turn and, and then also getting to know the bike. I just love how every machine, even if, like I was to buy the same bike as what I have now, it'd be a little different animal and just like figuring it out, like, what is, what is this? Where does this thing want to live? And like, through that type of shit, I actually got better with like, people and in my relationship, like, I was like, what if I applied this to the people in my life? Like, where is their comfort zone? And how can I kind of keep myself with all of my bullshit that like, who the hell wants to listen to my shit, you know? And I find with my wife, you know, taking her out, getting coffee in the morning, you know, making her laugh, being silly or whatever. And then if she's, you know, got a little bit of the blues or whatever, she's a creative person so she,

[A]

you know, she can figure it out.

[B]

Well, then I kind of like, you know, do I, you know, you just figure it out. Does she want me to make her laugh affection here, or does she need me to just kind of be here while fucking off at the same time?

[A]

So you're doing that not even maybe consciously, maybe not like live diagnostics about who you're interacting with? Yeah, because that seems new. I don't know if I do that. And I wouldn't have guessed that you do that. Certainly not 10 years ago. Because I.

[B]

No, no, you direct. You don't do that. That makes numbers. Oh, no, no, no.

[A]

Directing. If it's an actor. Yeah, but I'm saying like with the crew, I think it's. You kind of go into like hard ass mode or like I have to get this thing done or talking to people. I think it's like what I was going to ask you when you're saying all this is like when you would get, when you would lose your temper, if you lose your temper, didn't you feel.

[B]

When, when is when do you feel

[A]

a little justified in it? Like I'm, I. You're dumb and I'm going to punish you for this.

[B]

No.

[A]

Or you're making me uncomfortable and I'm gonna put him in the hands.

[B]

What I actually do is I trash myself afterwards. I go, I'm in the car by myself and I'm just going, you fucking. What the fuck did you do? I'm yelling at some driver or whatever and then I pull up next to him and I see him and it's some woman like her 40s. And I just go, that's great, Bill. That's somebody's mom, that's somebody's sister, that's somebody's daughter. And then I just imagine their family members.

[A]

Can you move the process up?

[B]

Hearing what I said. Uh huh. And then I just say sorry to all of her family members. That's what I do in traffic. Have I been able to move the process up to not do that? Uh huh. No, I have not gotten that belt at the emotional dojo yet.

[A]

Well, no, that's.

[B]

I've taken the test a lot and failed.

[A]

Well, yeah, that's what I'm wondering. It's like, have you, you been, have you moved it up with your kids though, right?

[B]

100%. No. Like me in, in my kids is one of the advantages I have is I haven't forgot what it's like to be a kid.

[A]

How would you categorize it? Because I would categorize it as scary being a kid.

[B]

So my thing is, if my daughter is putting on an outfit and she doesn't like it, the fucking outfit's gone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You can't go to school questioning your outfit because the sharks come. Okay, so they're. And they're already going to come. I don't need to be putting chum in the water by sticking her in the wrong outfit. So I'm like, you don't like this? All right? You don't like your hair like that. You want it up in a bun, I'll do that. You want pigtails, you know? Yeah, I learned how to do her hair and all of that type of stuff. And then with my son, you know, he gets really into, you know, certain shirts and stuff like that. So, you know, if that's what he wants to wear, you know, if that's what he wants to wear, that's what he's gonna wear. Like, I do stuff like that. And then I just tell them, you know, I tell them all the time. I tell my daughter all the time. I go, you're a really strong person, you know, and, you know, and she's also a really nice person. So a lot of times, you know, if a kid does something mean, you know, her questions are like, why? Which is such a sweet question. Like, why would you do that? How would you do that? And then, you know, like most your experience as a parent, your kid asks you a question and you don't have an answer.

[A]

Could you explain? Could you go, no.

[B]

I would literally just be like, why do kids do that? And I just, I would answer that question. I don't know. But unfortunately, it's one of those things that you have to deal with and you have to understand that has nothing to do with you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's them. They're probably sad or whatever. They're not getting enough. They're not getting something at home or whatever. Or maybe they're just a jerk. I wouldn't say asshole. But like, you know, she's almost. She's starting to get to be that age. And I'd be like. And you know, half the game of life is learning how to deal with people like that.

[A]

Do you see things of yourself in her, the way she takes shit on in your life?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Fuck, we gotta get ahead of this.

[B]

No, not like that. I just.

[A]

Not even in a bad way, but

[B]

I just see her personality trait. Her personality is more me, where it takes her longer to jump into the pool. Where my son is more like my wife. Where my wife will baby step, baby step. But when she jumps in, it's like right in. But not in a pool. She's one of those people that goes in, really. So I always laugh at her going, you've turned this into a 15 minute torture process. You just jump in. And she just like, just shut up and let me do it how I do it. You know, it's hilarious. So no, we're both in a great place right now because I'm just sort of looking back, like, we've just had so many laughs and so many good times. And, like, you know, my wife used to come on my podcast all the time before we have kids, but we have kids, so, I mean, somebody has to watch the kids when I'm on the podcast, so she doesn't come on as much. But, like, I was always proud. Like, so many people would be like, I want to have a relationship like that, because, you know, my wife's just as funny as I am. She's fucking hilarious. I run stuff by her, and if I make her laugh or I piss her off, I go, that's going in the act. But if she goes, like. Or whatever, I know it's not good. And then it also. It hurts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I. Because I love her so, like, I really value her opinion, but I also love her even more that she doesn't sugarcoat. If she doesn't think, you know, you know, something's fine. I mean, obviously, I don't run everything.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Liar. Despite what some racists think, you don't

[A]

seem arrogant to me at all. I mean, I'm sure you're, like, quiet. No, but I'm sure you're, like, quietly confident. Like, that'll be all right. But you're not.

[B]

Yeah, no, I'm confident. I'm confident, but I don't, like, walk around thinking I know everything, because that's the kiss of death. You know what I'm gonna do today, Neil? I'm gonna stop learning for the rest of my life. See how that goes.

[A]

Nobody. But that's. You could be. I know a lot of people that are not even as funny as you, that are more arrogant than you. Like, you have well earned confidence in comedy, but you're not. You put in for spots. You don't run the light. You're like. You're. You seem like the same person you were 20 years ago, 25 years ago. Like, you don't, but, like, you're not telling. I don't.

[B]

Well, I watched a lot of people. I call it taking the ride. Huh? Well, you just can't. I am amazing. Like, whatever. Like, what it. And you just, you know, treating people like shit and doing all of that. I got into this business because I didn't want to have a job, and I wanted to have a fun job. So my big thing is, like, if you're gonna work with me, you're gonna have fun. So, like, when we did old dads we did club soda or any of the things that I've done, you know, when I'm at ATC or whatever. Like, I. We have fun. You know what I mean? I'm bringing coffee. We're joking around. I make fun of myself. I, you know, learn people's names. Like, you know, I did a thing.

[A]

Name tags.

[B]

I did a thing. Like last night while I was talking, they were like, Monica Levison, who was one of the big driving forces on Old Dads, you know, her alma mater was Syracuse. So we did a talk to, like, people in the business from Syracuse that went to Syracuse University. Yeah. So one of the things they were asking, one of their tips was, you know, what's some of your tips? And, you know, people were saying their things, and my thing was like, feed the crew. That is the biggest thing. I don't give a shit if it's Domino's pizza. Some fucking cough donuts one morning. Just some sort of surprise nourishment that shows you give a shit about them, and then you're not going to have any problem. Get some sort of pool going.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Something they can gamble on. Because their job standing around waiting for us to get something we like is fucking backbreaking work. So if they're looking forward to, you know, if they hear rumors that, you know, we got a barbecue truck today, or you start the day with, like, a coffee truck or something, it's the best money you'll ever spend. I. On those things. We did Mike Bertolina at All Things Comedy. I told him, I said, we should get some food trucks. He goes, I'm on it. And, like, Mike is like. He's Italian, so you knew it was gonna be first class. You just knew. So. Yeah, I have a.

[A]

You also remember job. You remember, like, you don't. You had that joke about, like, driving a pallet or driving a forklift or working at a dental dentist's office. I can see it, and I feel like you can see it. You remember it.

[B]

I love those jobs.

[A]

Right? But I'm saying, like, you're not that different than me.

[B]

Warehousing was the funny, most fun fucking job I ever had. It was the most fun. I mean, all I did was just. We had the fucking radio on. Everyone was laughing. Once a week, we all played softball against another warehouse and just got fucking hammered playing softball and would drive home drunk. It was like fucking the 80s, right? Everybody did impressions of everybody. Impressions of everybody in the carpeted area. And it was like, yeah. It was almost like our own little SNL show. Where there was, like, in. Like, in the warehouse was all, like, the creative people. That's where I started playing drums because it was like, ours was a jock town, and these kids were from Walpole and that was more music. And I didn't know you could actually learn to play guitar and could play back in black. And I saw these guys doing it. I'm like, that's fucking cool. And I actually loved. It was so much shit that I loved. But I learned at that point from my experiences that I wasn't. And what I thought and what I liked didn't matter. And my own happiness and my own thing was not important. My opinions were not important. None of that stuff. So that was sort of the hole I was in. And it was just through meeting people like that. So the warehouse was. Was musicians, it was class clowns, addicts, everybody. Like, a lot of problem with authority. And it was like. I mean, I remember. I remember losing a job because of my problems with this fucking fat. I mean, he was so fat. Like, he was like, just. He would have to swing his arms when he was walking, right? Big stuffed shirt would come out there and all these fucking assholes. I didn't like that warehouse job. There was a. There was a darkness. The drug use was heavier.

[A]

Too much.

[B]

Yeah, it was like. Yeah, like. Like a couple guys I work with there, you know, were dead within 10 years. But the other first one, the softball one, that was fun. That was Budweiser and wine coolers and listening to the outfield. It was that age.

[A]

It was a band.

[B]

No, no, that was. It was like pre. That movie Wall street and Platoon. When started getting heavier again. Less than zero. Like, there was a lot of dark Came out in the late 80s as. As people were understanding that cocaine maybe wasn't this miracle drug. His fat, he just. Just came walking out. Big, stupid fat. And everyone would, like, you know, oh, he'd be out there and they'd, you know, try and start working harder and harder. And I went the opposite route. He'd come out and I would just look at him just long enough to know. To let him silently know that I don't give a. The next week, I. I asked for a race, and then I got laid off.

[A]

Did you know, like, I'm not getting this fucking rights, or you felt like you deserved it?

[B]

No, I did deserve it. I was one of the best fucking workers that guy had. I just wasn't gonna fucking show him, whatever that means. And that was one of those things where that had nothing to do with that fat Bastard. That had to do probably was shit with my dad or something like that. But I just remembered, like, him walking out and he knew it. He felt it. Everybody like doing this.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, hello, Mr. So and so. I just, it was just something about that. Well, you're two things. That. And bullies. Like, bullies make me forget that I'm not really good at fighting. Like, there's just something because I, I, I. Yeah, they, they.

[A]

You can't believe someone's acting like this, so everyone kind of freezes and then you forget. Like, I could just fight you and end this. That's my experience.

[B]

My. I always knew I was gonna lose, but my whole thing was just the sweetness of that one. Just getting that one in the one pop. Oh, just turtling afterwards.

[A]

How many were you dealing with? A lot of bullies.

[B]

I mean, you know, I had orange hair, dude, we moved around. I mean, I had to be funny quick once I got learned how to get a little funny or whatever. But I definitely hit puberty late, so I was smaller and stuff. So there was definitely, you know, I took a lot of shit there for a number of years.

[A]

Puberty late, by the way, pays off because I think you look younger than your age.

[B]

That's because black people taught me about lotion.

[A]

Yeah, of course. Another great Bill Burbank.

[B]

You know why so many Caucasians need facelifts? Because we don't know about lotion. But I mean, it is, it's just like that whole black don't crack is. It's a myth. It's. They, they take care.

[A]

They just moisturize early.

[B]

They take care of their skin. White people don't. Because it's like, we can't see that it's. That we're dry. Yeah, I'm gonna be 56. Like, most people that, especially redheads, like, they have the fucking.

[A]

Yeah, it gets hard. The skin gets hard on redheads.

[B]

Oh, the heels. You see the heels of some people's feet in our race, it's just like, dude, you need literally go down to fucking Home Depot and get like a sander grinder, like a sander. And there would be like sparks flying off of them and just like their elbows in the heels. And it's just like. I remember when I was, I was living in North Carolina briefly, I played full court basketball on the asphalt with a guy that played in bare feet. I remember I stepped on his foot. I went, oh, shit. And he goes, that's all right.

[A]

Check your shoe.

[B]

This guy was like a fire walker or something.

[A]

All right. So a lot of regret. You got a good. The shrooms helped you.

[B]

You said how it let me know how sad I was. I had no idea.

[A]

Did you want to. Are you glad you found out?

[B]

100%, yeah.

[A]

Did it help with the anger? Like, the ecosystem?

[B]

Oh, I had a two week period of euphoria, like 10 days.

[A]

So you do, like.

[B]

Do you know how much you did,

[A]

where you did it? Like, how. What was the situation?

[B]

Like most people, I didn't know what the dosage was. I just took them. I told this story on my last special where it was like, yeah, it started off silly and goofy. Then all of a sudden, like, this darkness came in. It was just this. And it was like. It was a profound sense of sadness. There wasn't a beginning or an ending. It just was. And it was undeniable. And I couldn't figure out. I was like, what is this? Is there something going on with me and my wife? So, you know, you just sit there as you're tripping, you're like, checking in and you're like, any answers from the universe? No. Something going on with the kids. I know. I love my kids. I know they love me. No, that's not it. And then I was just like, all right, what is this? And the second I said that, the answer comes into your head. It's the amazing things about mushrooms that make me believe in something else and a higher power and stuff. And that was the line in my eye. Oh, this is how you felt as a kid. And I was of these so called, I'm awake now, walking around. I was of the belief that what happened to me as a kid didn't bug me and that it was actually a good thing because I'm tough and I'm not a pussy and all of that shit. And then I realized, oh, that was all wrong. That was what I became so I could deal with whatever was going on. And then that was just an avalanche. It kind of just. When I get an answer to something, I don't deny it. I just kind of go with it.

[A]

Answer in that. In that being an example. What's another example?

[B]

You suck at this, right? And then I don't stubbornly try to keep going with it. Like, that's how I ended up figuring out what I was supposed to do in life. Like, when I tried something and the information came back that I wasn't good at this, I was just like, I just. I didn't have the ego to be like, yes, I am. Because there's, like, things you Want to be good at. Yeah.

[A]

And also when you're good at, say, comedy, it's way different than something you're shitty at. Like, I used to golf until I did comedy, and I was like, oh, I gotta fucking do that. If I can be this good at something and that good. It's like, that's shitty.

[B]

It's a waste of time.

[A]

It's a total waste of time. Like, I didn't find it relaxing. I just found it, like, it was just thwarting. It was hurting my feelings.

[B]

Yeah. I have a funny relationship with golf. I like the hanging.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I also. I get a kick out of how seriously people take.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That absolutely ridiculous, stupid activity.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Unless if it actually helps you, if it actually, like, if that's the place you need to go. There's a lot of people that, you know, there's a lot of men that are not in happy marriages, and they didn't marry easy women. Now, that's not a popular opinion out there. The popular opinion is that if there's a problem in the relationship, then the man is the problem. And it's just not true. It's just. It's. It's probably even. You know what I mean? It's. But women are stealth overbearing. It's not like they're taking the belt to you and beating you down and stuff, but it's. It's. It's more chemical warfare.

[A]

Yeah. It's also.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Radioactivity. Yeah.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's like it's invisible. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Carbon monoxide.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Emotional carbon monoxide. Like, and you. So these guys, they just are managing a difficult situation. They're like a game manager, quarterback, and they're just handling. Just trying to stay in the fucking game. And they get to the golf course and they just get to, like, just leave that alone.

[A]

You get to be like a full person instead of, like. I feel like a lot of guys in marriages are.

[B]

And I have to tell you something right now. That is the worst fucking thing that you can do to somebody is if you're in a relationship with somebody and they feel like they cannot be. You just said be a full person.

[A]

Yeah, I used to say, I don't want to be a guest in my own life. That's how bad relationships make you feel. Like, I'm like a guest in my own experience. I have to run it through you or it has to be okay for you. That was the thing I said to you a few weeks ago.

[B]

Like, punch a clock.

[A]

Yeah. Like, what am I allowed to be. Instead of like, I was dating a girl and you had jokes in your act that I wanted her to see because I didn't know how to tell her.

[B]

And she. I guarantee you, unless she was a. Okay, first off, what I was saying was correct. Let's start there. And then if she was mature enough or wired in a way that she could take information that if she could actually admit being wrong, which isn't something that some people could do, some people can. Some people can't do it. But if you're with somebody that can't say that, you know what? I was wrong, my wife can do that. And that just goes so many miles with me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cause it's like, I'm not sitting here saying I'm a perfect person by any stretch of the means. I'm just saying you did that. It made me feel like this, that I was fucked up. And if she can be just like, all right, I was wrong, I shouldn't have said that or I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. And it goes away.

[A]

I know.

[B]

It goes on.

[A]

You're like, I fuck with you. I like you so much for that. My girl now, she did something. It wasn't even that agreed. It was like, eh, we talked it out. And she goes, you know, most of the relationships I've been in, the guy was the fuck up. So having that attention on me that I made the mistake, my girl said, I had the thought, wait, is this what guys go through in relationships? And I was like, fucking, yeah, all the time.

[B]

Because that's beautiful. And also annoying. Like, wait, could we ever be in the wrong? You know, that reminded me one time I was doing this, I'm not gonna say, but I did somebody's podcast, remember the alt scene, wherever the fuck that went. And he was like, you know, I was talking with another comedian friend of mine, we were like, you know what? There's alt hack. They were just all tech. It's just like, yeah, uh huh, yeah, you guys aren't as good as you fucking think. You were like, they were so up their own asses. It was such a weird scene because it was created by Club Comics, some of the best comics of a generation. Beasts that earned the right to stretch out. But then accidentally they created a scene where someone could just start in this comedy womb of no heckling, and you're the crowd and the crowd's you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Rather than going up there going, look at these fucking animals. How am I gonna relate to them? That just always, like, struck me as fucking Hilarious. Like, just that epiphany.

[A]

You're like, wait a minute. We have human faults also. Yeah. And you have cultural.

[B]

If we all sort of just all do the same eight rooms and hang out with each other, it all kind of disappears up its own ass after a while. Yeah. Like, remember what happened in the club scene? Did you ever notice what's up with this? This guy knows what I'm talking about. The same thing is going to happen to your scene. It's. It's part of every fucking scene. Like, this is new. This is amazing. This is great. This is the apex now. The industry figured out how to make money of it now, now, now there's a formula and that, and then it just dies. That's how it all goes.

[A]

Yeah. The. The thing I want to get back to was the. The idea of, like, being good at something and then making that because it is people. Probably whenever people do those Q and A's, like, hey, people have questions. The question in my experience is always like, hey, how can I be you without having to struggle for 10, 15 years? And it's like, there's no way to not. That's.

[B]

Yeah, you can't with technology. No. Yeah. The level of exposure that you.

[A]

Oh, yeah. But you're not. It's not going to last long.

[B]

I don't know about that. I. I think it's just. I think it's changed. I am actually excited for younger comics that they don't have to go through that. That the. The level of power that they have is really cool. Is really cool. And. And like, you know, we went through a different process, but I feel like we. There was just as many bad comics versus good comics or great comics. I think that has always been the same. And I think it's just all how you apply using the technology. It's just. It's just going to be, you know, it's going to be different thing. I mean, it was a different thing when I showed up. Like, when. And my generation, the 80s generation, created the whole club scene. And before that, like, guys like Leno and those guys, they had to go up in front of, like, strippers and jazz musicians and stuff.

[A]

Opening for fucking.

[B]

Fucking Miles Davis. Jay Leno told me, open for Miles Davis in, like, some jazz club in, like, north of Peabody. Yeah.

[A]

Seinfeld would open for, like, Gloria Gaynor. Jared one time said no one wanted to see a Jewish, like a Jew what fought in the 70s.

[B]

Yeah. You had to be like, in the Catskills or something.

[A]

Yeah. Like, what is this Jew Would what?

[B]

Yeah. So the. I would imagine that there was comics from Jay's generation that went through all of that stuff, looked at us like, Jesus Christ. You actually have a place where people go specifically to see standup comedy. Like, I had to be wedged between.

[A]

You know, I guess it does show titties. Yes. I would argue.

[B]

I think it changes. It changes. I don't think it's any easier today. I just think it changed.

[A]

I don't think it's easier. I don't. I think there was something positive about you and Patrice and Norton and Voss and Kevin Hart and, like, you guys being at the Cellar together.

[B]

All of us assholes.

[A]

Yeah. But like, you were making. But like, you were ridiculously mean to

[B]

each other and everyone around us.

[A]

We know that now, like, looking back. But you. Some of you made it, like, so, like, it made you better and different in a way that I think was like, I'm glad that you went through that. I didn't. I wasn't really around it, but I could see it from afar.

[B]

Was an. It was an asshole think tank.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We just sat there and rather than thinking up scripts.

[A]

Stupid.

[B]

We thought about dumb things, mean things to say to each other.

[A]

Shirts attacking shirts, Hate crimes on shirt guys. This fucking shirt.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I had. You just had. We have a whole section of your closet of shit that you just couldn't wear down there.

[A]

Condemned. Yeah.

[B]

There was stuff that I bought, and then I lost the courage to wear it. That's why I've always just. I always dress like Malcolm Young. I just feel like that's the least amount of shit you're going to get.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, you and Patrice had the fucking. I don't know if you. I'm sure you've told the story, but I've heard it, like, scared secondhand. The thing about standing together after a show and whoever got the most U2s,

[B]

it was like, oh, yeah, you too. Oh, no, no. But then we ranked him. Yeah.

[A]

It was. When you. After comedy shows, when all the comics stand together, the best. The most popular comic of the night, most of the crowd will come and go like, you were great, man. And then they'll see the other person there.

[B]

Oh, you, too.

[A]

And they'll go, oh, you too. And it was like a ranking of how many U2s you got.

[B]

U2. And then the worst one. The worst one was. Stick with it.

[A]

In the black version is, you did your thing. You did your thing up there. That's kind of. Stick with it. Like, I'm not going to Say, like, it was good.

[B]

No, you did your thing was. Was you had a good set.

[A]

Yeah, but there was also, like, if you didn't really, they'd still give you, like, you did your little thing. Maybe they throw a.

[B]

That sounds female. Female. Like that word, little.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, a little thing you do. I never found a. There was no happy medium. There was either you. You killed or you didn't. I remember getting off Knicks Comedy Stop one time having a bad set, and you just have to walk. What sucked about Nick's is if you had a bad set, you had to walk through the crowd. We used to call it the gauntlet. So you had to walk through it. I remember walking through and hearing the host trying to get the crowd back and not wanting to look at anybody

[A]

and was like, you know, because you've just gotten off.

[B]

Yeah. And bombed and like, it was sparsely populated with people. And I remember this black guy just yelling, come on, Red, you can do better than that. That was one of those things. You know, I still had a day job and I didn't have another show for, like, five, six days. So for six days in my head at the dental office, playing on a loop is, come on, Red, you can do better than that.

[A]

God damn it.

[B]

And then people at work would be like, you all right? Is everything. Yeah, it was good, you know, just didn't get sleep last night.

[A]

God damn it. That's so fucking funny. Do you. But you. I would say you were better. You're better off overall for having experienced that. No.

[B]

Well, no. Everything in life, all the pain that you have in life, it just makes you. If you survive it, it makes you tougher if you don't give into it. You know, that's the thing that you learn on the way is, like, you can make the choice. You never run to people. You know, everything's going great. Then this happened. It's just like. Well, that happens to everybody. Yeah, you should just. You got. You got to use that as a. As. As part of your story to get in there. But if you make, you. You have the power to be. To let that thing take you out. Like, I saw I, you know, new comedians that, you know, came to New York or came to la, you know, and they got there talking to. By Jamie or fucking Lucian. Back in the day, those guys ripped everyone a new asshole. Yeah. But some people just took it to heart and couldn't get over it. And it's just like. Yeah, I used to talk to me like, fudge those guys. Fuck those guys.

[A]

Well, that's what I was going to say is that thing where you.

[B]

Jamie. I love Jamie.

[A]

I like teasing the. You had a lot of that. It's like there's a thing, the post traumatic stress, and there's also a thing that no one ever talks about, which is post traumatic growth, which is like, yeah, you can grow from this shit. I feel like part of the thing

[B]

where you say, rather not.

[A]

Yeah, you'd rather feel bad for yourself.

[B]

No. You know, you'd rather have. Not have that shit happen.

[A]

Of course. But what I'm saying is it's going to happen. And the thing that I feel like you maybe didn't have the right balance of was like, how much of this shit is just making me tougher and how much of this is making me tougher in a way that's not helpful?

[B]

I mean, I would say, like 85% of it was not helpful. It wasn't. I mean, to this day, my energy sucks. Like, when I go to a party, like, I am that fucking traumatized person that feels comfortable being over in the corner.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And, like, not talking to anyone. And then what I fucking hate about that is, is everything all right? Is everything all right? It's like, you ever think I had a different childhood? This is me partying. Can you just fuck off? Oh, my God. Dude, I went to a fucking. When I went to Madonna, this fucking guy kept turning around going like, hey, man, you know, make sure you have a good time now. You know, because I have resting, like, fucking trauma faces.

[A]

Yeah. Me, I didn't have it too.

[B]

And it's just like, dude, I am on fuck. I 10 milligrams of weed right now. Fucking enjoying this shit. I'm thinking about where I was when these songs came out. And he kept fucking doing it and he kept touching me. I don't like fucking being touched. And it was just like these fucking people, the happy kids. You know what I mean? And just. Just try to be like, I don't know. He wasn't trying to be an asshole, but like, it was just like, can you just fucking leave me alone? Can you? I'm trying to be at the concert with my wife. Can you just fucking leave me alone? He wouldn't.

[A]

Couldn't do it.

[B]

Yeah. Hey. Huh? He just kept doing that.

[A]

And then if you say you have to stop, you're an asshole.

[B]

No, I mean, I was saying that. I was like, buddy, I get it. I go, you're gonna keep making the same fucking show.

[A]

And he kept doing it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's no good no, he was like, just, ha, ha, ha, ha. Like, he just one of those people like, shit doesn't land. It's like he was like a dad. I have a dad joke. Like Colin Quinn.

[A]

I complained, but who.

[B]

Listen, remember that chunk he used to do? I used to love that. Those stupid fucking office jokes that I heard a million times. And that's why I loved Colin's joke, because I never questioned them. It's just like, this is part of the office experience. And he was the first guy to be like, how many fucking times can somebody say that? And you know, and then you just don't. You just be like, it's an old joke already. And then you see it on, like, Instagram. Instagram. Like, there's. There's like hacky. There's old hack. There's like hacky formulaic jokes that people like. Remember YouTube? For, like 10 years, somehow people kept. Was this film with the potato. How many times could somebody write that? It's like, no, it's old technology. You know what it is? The first time somebody wrote it, it was funny. And then everybody just like, I want to be the potato guy on this fucking.

[A]

Yeah, I'm going to do that comment.

[B]

Yeah. It was literally like the pie in the face, just still funny to me.

[A]

I feel like you stink. No, I feel like you did pretty great on what just in life.

[B]

No, I did. Yeah. No, I did.

[A]

You fucking did great. You're an unbelievably great comedian. Like, unbelievably great. I know it doesn't really help you, you know, day to day.

[B]

I didn't ask for your help, Neil.

[A]

No,

[B]

I just did that. Cause I know you want me to do that.

[A]

No, I don't.

[B]

You know, I thought of a funny line.

[A]

I don't want you to do that.

[B]

You know, I thought I was out to breakfast with my wife the other day, and this guy comes into the restaurant and this person behind the counter said, hey, how are you? Having a nice day so far? I immediately thought I wanted the person to be like, and if I'm not,

[A]

what is that? What do you want? You just want to fucking. You want.

[B]

I would have said that and just let it sit there. But then I would have been like, I'm just fucking with you. I'm having a great day. But it was just such a. Are you having a nice day so far? It's just such a. It was a weird way.

[A]

Feels like pressure's on.

[B]

Well, what are you fucking? Like you're checking in on me? You're Doing a study. You have like a clip. Having a nice day so far?

[A]

Yeah. How you coming along in life? Like what?

[B]

It was just an annoying question.

[A]

Is there such a thing as being friendly to you or is it all kind of aggravating?

[B]

There is, but there's just, hey, how are you? There was just something about the detail of that. Are you having a nice day so far? Yeah. And if I'm not, what, are you going to help me out with it? You got some avocado?

[A]

This is what I.

[B]

You got some avocado toast. That's just going to.

[A]

Whenever I argue, whenever I erase my childhood interactions with you, I'd get upset. Then I'd be like, but he's going to use this for a premise. And this energy, this icebreaker, this fucking.

[B]

What do you mean? Why would I. You're already filming it. It's done, it's gone.

[A]

No, no, no. I'm not saying you're going to use it for a premise. I'm saying if we had an interaction. You have energy that sometimes has hurt my feelings, but I know that you're going to take the spirit of it and you're going to aim it at something that I want you to aim it at. And I'm thankful for it.

[B]

All right?

[A]

That's all.

[B]

Well, you have the aloofness of a North Korean dictator.

[A]

I totally agree. I don't want to have it. I don't want to have it.

[B]

I don't know that I'm doing that either. But I just know enough about your family. Uh huh.

[A]

You let it go.

[B]

Your voice went up an octave. I go, enough about your family. You go, uh huh. Yeah, yeah, No, I know, I know. This is another thing that I know without even knowing is whatever you went through was worse

[A]

than what you went through. Yes, based on the look on my face. No, based on my go on.

[B]

It was the super sized version. Cause you had a bigger family than me. Yeah. So which just all it does is it just the pressure gets greater and. Yeah. And whatever. Nourishment, little nourishment that is in there gets ringed out. No, it's a. Yeah.

[A]

You know when you see it.

[B]

Yeah. And that's why I don't walk around saying to people, like, if I see somebody off in the corner, I'm like, all right, they had a rough one and I leave them alone. I'll go, oh, just smile.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like that was a big fucking thing. When I was in New York, I was with beautiful women come down the street and they'd Be like, smile, sweetie. And it's like, for what? Like, no, I'm not smiling. Maybe I'm in a bad mood. Or if I walk around smiling, I. Ugly fucking morons. Like, you think I wanna fuck em now? And then I gotta deal with you asking for my number.

[A]

Yeah. They can't even make.

[B]

It's like, this is the look I have to have on my face. Cause there's assholes like you out on the street.

[A]

Yeah. The shitty part for me is like, I don't even feel that way anymore. Do you know what I mean?

[B]

About what?

[A]

About whatever I went through. Now I'm like past it. But the face hasn't caught up.

[B]

The face doesn't catch up. I know. Yeah. That's one of the things that haunts me is who was I supposed to be before all this shit happened to me? Because people like, well, this is who you are. All your experiences, blah, blah.

[A]

It's like, no, this is a reaction.

[B]

No, this is. Yeah, this is a reaction to shit. Who you're supposed to be is growing up in an environment where you're allowed to figure out who you are.

[A]

Well, that's the great thing you got to do with your kids though, right? Is you get to just like, let's see who I'm gonna help you be. What you're supposed to be.

[B]

Dude. Like, I am so like nervous about fucking that up. I let them. I'm probably too lenient. But then I also. Even if I, if I compliment my little boy, I always try to bring my daughter. Hey, did you teach him how to do that? Wow, is he good?

[A]

Like.

[B]

Cause I don't want to. You know, the baby always gets more attention and stuff. And all of a sudden people start having like complexes and stuff, you know. But then I also have to be like, okay, built. They're probably totally fine with the whole thing. And now what you're doing is superimposing. That's the thing. I had this great talk with Neil one time. I was saying I kind of realized they're completely different people. They're not you, they're not me. They're a blend of you and me plus them and their life experience. So we don't have to worry.

[A]

Or a pre existing thing that's like more God based, you know what I mean?

[B]

Like.

[A]

Or they came out of the thing, they came out of like the primordial soup.

[B]

Even though you explained that really lightly, that it still makes as much sense as deep religious shit to me. So I actually think in a way that was A great way to mock religion. You came out of the thing with the guy in the air.

[A]

But that's basically what it is like to act like they know what it is is fucking stupid. It's also irresponsible, and they're doing it for money.

[B]

But, like, the most human thing to me about. About religion is this idea that there's this guy that's mad at you. Yeah. It's just like. This is like. And then you watch like, what's the difference between that and somebody trying to sell me a car? Got a guy coming, another 20 minutes, I gotta get this car, you know? Or like CNN and Fox News. There's these people and they're out to get you. Yeah, that seems. You know, there's a documentary. I only saw a clip of it on the Ukraine. And, like, I had no idea of the Ukraine. Okay. So it's basically. It's home footage. It's so painful to watch. It's like.

[A]

But it. Is it the 20 minute, 20 days in Mariupol.

[B]

Is that what it is?

[A]

The one that won the Oscar?

[B]

Just one. Yeah, I just saw. I did it.

[A]

It's on pbs. You can watch it.

[B]

Oh, my God. So just watching, you know, it starts with, like, footage, home videos of people's lives before Russia invaded. And you see just like, you know, this beautiful country and people just doing this is the great thing about traveling. Like, you know, going all the way to India and Singapore and all these places, thinking, you know, this is totally different, but it's the same. People want to find love. They want to feel safe. They want to love their kids and whatever. Right? So they. They show all of that and everything. And. And I can't remember what my point was. What the hell were we just talking about? Right.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

It didn't apply to that. This happens to me a lot. I start talking, and then I can't even remember what the. My point was. But anyway, like, seeing that and then you just sit there and how you watch cnn, Fox News, like, oversimplify it. Good guy, bad guy. And it's like, what's going on in Ukraine was also going on in Russia with regular people who don't want to get involved in these conflicts, and it's these fucking lunatics at the top and everything. And then also as an American, to sit there and watch that or watch what's going on in the Gaza Strip and all that and act like we haven't done that. 2. The fact that that's considered, like, you know, an ignorant thought, an UN American Thought and blah, blah. It's just like, you know, we're not in control. Very few people are in control of these things. And doing these horrible fucking things to people who were just fucking hanging out riding scoops.

[A]

The first 10 minutes of that movie are just. It looks like Scranton, Pennsylvania.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then it's you just like. Just like explosions.

[B]

And I saw somebody, they were talking about, you know, talking about Palestinians, like, kids starving and anything. And like, somebody just wrote like, this is war.

[A]

People die. Yeah.

[B]

It's like you sound like someone who's never had to go to war or had your country attacked at, like, that level. Like, how you can be like, I don't understand empathy only on one side because of, like, your interests. Like, all of that shit over the whole fucking thing, from the latest chapter, from the beginning of it, those people at that music festival to what's going on right now is just all sad.

[A]

It's all total from start to finish, totally unavoidable.

[B]

And I don't understand this joke I've been doing in my act. I can't make fun of fat people, but war is still legal.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm telling you, it's the movements of a very small group of people. And these same fucking people that talk to you about religion, they don't seem to be worried about an angry God. They don't seem to be worried about going to hell. They don't seem to be worried about breaking any fucking commandment out there if there's a clump of trees or some oil or some fucking liquid lakefront property or some shit that they want. And then the stupid propaganda machine gets going. And the combination of watching people listening to that and watching people doing the Tomahawk chop and wearing Crocs, that's. It's just when you're just sitting there going, like, how is there a God that makes this. Like, this is what we're doing. I don't.

[A]

That I can't.

[B]

I didn't want to get this talk. No, I don't.

[A]

I am totally agree with you. And I'm. I also. And I still think there's some kind of God. There's a central creation force, but I don't understand it.

[B]

My latest thing is he's like us. You know, they would say, like, God made us. Us in our image. I think he also made us with his intellect, too. Yeah.

[A]

It's like, knows about some shit.

[B]

Maybe. Maybe he's like, you know, you like war?

[A]

I don't really know. Like, I didn't really study it.

[B]

But, like, I made a bunch of earths.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm trying to. Versions of humans on each ones, trying to get.

[A]

Yeah, it's not going great on your Earth.

[B]

Like, what if he's just a guy making an app and we're living in the app? Like, all of that shit. Like, I always think stuff like that. Does it keep going and all of these things? But I find, like, an afterlife, there's something about it that's happy. And there's also something about it that is beyond depressing. Like, it's not over. Like, the only thing, like, I think, like, I don't want to, like, die and, you know, and then I never see my kids again. Dogs that I loved and my lovely wife and friends and all of that shit.

[A]

But then, like, let's wrap it up.

[B]

Yeah. No, but, like, being in heaven, in that level of happiness every single fucking day, there would be an insanity to it. Isn't that great?

[A]

What I mean is, let's wrap up this whole consciousness thing. Like, wrap it up. Like, I can't take any more of this. Like, I just did 80 years of this. Now you want me to enter into another thing with more rules and policies and cultures.

[B]

Oh, my God. And then, like, I'm. I'm. I'm fucking diamond. Emerald level.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know heaven.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, there'd be different levels.

[A]

Yeah. Certain place you can't get. Get to.

[B]

You weren't good enough. You weren't good enough. You don't have status. And then you have to do, like, something good on this cloud.

[A]

I want to do a movie about the staff at Heaven, like, the groundskeepers. You know what I mean? Like, somebody had to do. Somebody has to, like, do the hot. Put the hot pots and shit out.

[B]

Yeah. It hurts my brain thinking all of this. I just feel like, why can't you just accept that we have no fucking idea what happens?

[A]

It's another great joke here is that, like, man said if that joke from 20 years ago about, like, the Bible, like, just say you don't know what the fuck is happening.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then he. Because they add like, an.

[B]

We don't know what happens. But it's not bad. You're dead.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's over. There's a piece to it. Why can't they just do that? And you could go, ah.

[A]

Cause if they sell you on. Christopher Hitchens referred to religion or Christianity as celestial North Korea, where it's like, you're in trouble. You're in trouble before you even are born in Christianity. So you just constantly Wake up.

[B]

Like, yeah, you're born with original sin, bad. And then you need to come to our place of business and get special water put on you. And then you have to give us money. I mean, it's just like, how do you not see that? That is just fucking Amway.

[A]

Because they're just in case it's right. They have to hedge and be like,

[B]

okay, yeah, somebody sent me this thing on photosynthesis, right? Like, with bees going around, I don't really understand it. Right, so it was saying that the.

[A]

I would never do that to you. Just flower.

[B]

No, it was amazing. Saying the flowers actually give off this sonic sound that only the bee can hear. And then the bee goes in, and when it takes all the nectar out, the flower gives off a different sound, and that lets the other bees know that there's no nectar in it. Right? Now they communicate on this amazing fucking level that we can't even hear. Mind blowing. And then you go to the comment section, and then it just was all about religion.

[A]

And people see this and they say,

[B]

there's not a God. It's like, all right, so let me get this straight. You can ignore what's going on in the Gaza Strip, the Ukraine, what's been going on in Iraq for 20 fucking years, and all it takes is one bee hearing a flower say, hey, man, there's some nectar in here. And then you just think that there's like, how do you balance out the flower bee thing with war?

[A]

They can't. It's like they know.

[B]

You know what they do? They say, the devil. They're the fucking devil. They're listening to the devil. Those people are the devil. They're evildoers and stuff. It's like, no, that's all God's responsibility. He made all of this. I even have issues. I've watched too many of those fucking videos of animals, Prey, predator versus prey. And just the amount of animals that are just basically exist to be eaten alive. And it's just like, that's the best he could come up with. But.

[A]

Yeah, but then people, they'll be like, there's that Reddit thread of, like, nature is metal, where it's. You'll love it, because it's just.

[B]

No, I saw it. I always hate. There's always somebody there who has to hold my hand while I watch nature. I know this is difficult to watch, but this is nature.

[A]

Trigger warning. Yeah. And it's not for everybody. It's not for the faint of heart. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And then they. Then, like, then there's These other people that try to, like, they just make shit up. Lot of vegans getting upset in this thread. It's like, where. Yeah, there's another one that bugs me is they'll post something from the 2000s and it'd be like, try getting away with that joke today. Yeah, it's like you just did. Yeah, we all just watched it. We all laughed. Everybody's fine.

[A]

Nobody's getting. All the canceled. People are doing arenas. It's. It's all made up.

[B]

It wasn't all made up. It was a fucking witch hunt.

[A]

Oh, right.

[B]

Become a witch hunt. And there was people that were put. This is my thing. They were fucking put on the bench. And then now, like, they're doing the day that never happened. Oh, it wasn't that bad. It's like. No, it got a little out of control.

[A]

What do you. Do you feel like. The only time I was aware of it with you was the SNL monologue problem, which was like, I don't know, you got.

[B]

I was also waiting for when people who weren't white were gonna be able to talk on it, because that was what was supposed to happen. And then it wasn't that. That was what the basis of it. It just became a bunch of fucking rich white women. I don't even remember the white.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, I don't even remember what you were in trouble for. I know. I remember you were in some trouble. No, you didn't get any trouble.

[B]

No, never did.

[A]

There was no blowback or this Bill Burr as a controversial SNL monologue. Did I remember that wrong? Or Kevin did for saying that dads were fun. Dads were more fun than moms.

[B]

I know, but, like, that's just. It's just clickbait. Yeah, it's clickbait. Like, all of that stuff that, like, that's why. You know what's funny is that's why I knew old dads was going to kill. Because people live in a bubble here in la and they live in New York and they're listening to corporate lawyers going, sky's falling, the air. You're going to get in trouble. You're going to lose your desk. So they get all afraid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the great thing about being a comedian is you get to see reality. You get to travel the whole fucking world. You get to talk to people. Hopefully, if you're listening, you learn something. And then you realize, like, what they're saying and what's actually out there is not real. So, like, you know, they do all, like, these let's, you know, let's do a screening. We need to do like a test because they're out here, they have no fucking idea. But like, as a comedian, it's like without you even knowing it, you're doing a survey every night. Yeah, yeah. I'm in Washington, D.C. i'm in the deep South. I'm down, you know, New Mexico now I'm up on the east coast, Midwest, Canada, whatever. And like you're not even noticing it, but you, you're. Your jokes and everything become international. Yeah, because that doesn't work because you

[A]

don't want to bomb.

[B]

You don't want to do it.

[A]

That only works in one region.

[B]

Yeah. When we brought Old Debt, me and I wrote it with Ben Tishler. When we were bringing that thing around, they were, oh, you can't. We can't. Like they were, we can't do this. And then we ended up at Merrimacks and they did it and then, you know, put it on and it killed. And they were like, they're like, well, this movie's doing great. It's like, well, yeah, you've kind of denied a generation and a half of a hard R comedy. Yeah, hard R comedies historically have murdered. They always have. You guys just somehow in your talked yourselves into thinking that no one wanted to see one of those and they 100% do.

[A]

Yeah, well, they're just, it's like pollsters where they like they've gotten five elections wrong in a row and they keep asking them. But what about this one? Stop asking them. It's like they have the same guests on cnn. Like I was, this next guy was wrong about this next. I was wrong about Iraq twice. But he's here to tell us about. So this is people that are like in the system and they never get rebuked.

[B]

What I don't want to fucking see and it's going to happen is there's going to be a debate between Trump and Biden and you're going to watch a bully beaten up on a guy with dementia and it's just. And they're both like cocoon age.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just like it's going to be this old folks home.

[A]

You ever see that bra, like the fight where the like, like three or four old guys and they're trying to fight it looks like. But it's so goddamn funny because they're.

[B]

But you know what?

[A]

Slow.

[B]

But you know, I love about it is, you know that they all got in a bar fight. That's what I. They all had Heart. That's what I like. Yeah.

[A]

They all thought they were their old selves. Yeah.

[B]

You know what's funny? Yeah. There's an age you get to where if you miss with a punch, it makes you fall down. Just the momentum of you swinging one of your own limbs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You miss. You, like,

[A]

because they haven't done it in so long that they don't. Like, they don't have the new calibration.

[B]

Oh. I tried to do something recently that I had done a long time ago. I can't remember. It was like. Oh, a somersault. Like, dad, can you do a somersault? And I had not.

[A]

I hadn't done one. Hell, yeah.

[B]

40 fucking years. It, like, I did it, but it, like, fucked me up. My brain was. My brain was like, whoa. Whoa. Like, I had taken too many hits. They had or something. Like, whatever fluid your brain sits in, I don't know if it gets. Like.

[A]

It doesn't get changed out.

[B]

Yeah. It's like the oil in the differential. Nobody ever changes that. So it's sludge and just going. You know, I remember to tuck my head so I wouldn't just slam on my lower back. But, like, I did it. And my wife just bursted out laughing like I'd slipped on a banana peel. And. And I. I had. And I kind of laughed it off and kind of crawled back over to the couch, but, dude, I had to gather myself.

[A]

Yeah, that's what happens.

[B]

Okay. Like, what was that? Why? I don't remember that. Oh. What time is it?

[A]

We gotta go.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

Bill Burr, everybody.

[B]

All right.

[A]

The best.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[A]

You got it. Thanks for doing.

[B]

To have it, friend, my man. All you have to do.