Riley vs. Landon's Sleep Mode

Summary

---

Bloodline Banter: Riley vs. Landon's Sleep Mode

Podcast: Bloodline Banter
Hosts: The Cast Collective — Riley & Landon
Date: February 12, 2026

---

Episode Overview

In this lively and unscripted debut of Bloodline Banter, Riley and Landon riff on everything from nightly routines and the importance (or absurdity) of making your bed, to the boundaries set by “sleep mode” on their phones and the realities of living as roommates in Nashville. Full of playful roasts, small-town nostalgia, and stories of city nightlife, the episode also features audience confessions in their recurring “Cousin Council” segment. Banter, off-the-cuff advice, and gleeful mockery abound, creating a tone that’s by turns irreverent, genuine, and southern-tinged with heart.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Roasts and Self-Deprecation (00:01–01:01)

• Riley immediately targets Landon's receding hairline:
  • Riley: “You’re balding. Your hair’s looking awful thin today.” (00:28)
  • Landon: “Not everyone is blessed with luscious locks like you.” (00:32)
• Sets a playful, teasing dynamic.

2. Bed-Making and Sleep Hygiene (01:05–01:49)

• The pair debate the necessity and emotional impact of making the bed:
  • Landon: Prefers a clean, made bed for a better sleep.
  • Riley: Sees it as pointless unless expecting company; links it to unnecessary childhood routines.
  • Riley: “What’s the point making a bed that you’re gonna get in in eight hours?” (01:17)

3. Sleep Mode Debate: Boundaries & Friendships (03:11–06:00)

• The main theme emerges: the sleep mode setting as representation of personal boundaries.
  • Riley: Expects to always reach Landon, argues for an emergency bypass list.
    • “I would have had better luck dropping a note in a bottle in the Pacific Ocean… than getting a text back from you.” (03:37)
  • Landon: Defends an inviolable “sleep mode” starting at ~10:30 pm; no notifications come through.
    • “Once my sleep mode is on, nobody’s breaking through… My time to just—” (05:09)
• Debate over friend priorities and what counts as a late-night emergency.

4. Apartment Woes: Electrocution & Laundry Struggles (06:00–09:47)

• Landon’s recurring mild electrocutions from the same outlet spark concern:
  • Riley: “Would you rather be needed or dead?” (09:20)
• Grievances about Nashville apartment appliances, especially their “ghetto” front load washer:
  • Riley: “I want one that you open like a treasure chest… and it fills up with water.” (07:19)

5. Home Cleaning & Personal Care Products (10:53–12:00)

• Tangent on floor cleaners, Pine-Sol allergies, and the failures of all-natural deodorant:
  • Riley: “All these all natural people… that’s why you stink. …That’s why you’re walking through the Walmart and you can see a green stench from Brenda’s pits.” (11:26)
  • Landon: “There’s nothing that a little aluminum never hurt.” (12:00)

6. Nashville Nightlife: Gender Roles, Church Folk, and Clout Chasers (12:55–16:31)

• Culture shock from small-town Georgia to Nashville’s Broadway district.
• Mock encounters with churchgoers out in force—and in blue jean skirts.
  • Landon: “The higher the hair, the closer to Jesus.” (16:07)
• Frustration with acquaintances attempting to leverage Riley’s social media fame:
  • “If you ain’t talked to me since T-ball, don’t try to use me for clout.” (13:14)

7. Technology and Social Circles: Live360 and Sharing Location (18:50–20:25)

• Debate over sharing live locations via apps for safety and privacy; generational and friendship trust issues.
  • Landon: “If I don’t want you to know where I’m at or what I’m doing… I don’t want you in my circle.” (19:43)

8. Food and Hometown Nostalgia: Cheese Dip & Spicy Food (20:25–21:34)

• Mourning the lack of classic “white people cheese dip” in Nashville’s more authentic Mexican restaurants.
• Mildness preference versus the southern “eat hot things to warm up” mentality.

9. Weather, Apartment Parking, and the Cold (21:53–23:10)

• The misery of long walks from distant parking in freezing Nashville winters.

10. Fast Food Regional Battles: In-N-Out Comes to Tennessee (23:29–24:13)

• Locals bristle at California’s In-N-Out expanding east; Riley defends regional food migration.
  • Riley: “Chick-fil-A started in Georgia. We shared it; y’all can share In-N-Out.” (24:07)

11. Reigniting the Roast: Ears, Forehead, Crocs, and Golden Goose (24:20–27:42)

• Further playful jabs over physical features (“You need to get your ears pinned back.” (24:23)) and expensive taste in shoes.
  • Riley: Defends his pricey Golden Goose sneakers against Landon’s Crocs. (27:37)

12. Returning Home: Culture Shock and Small-Town Boredom (28:02–29:47)

• Feeling “ghetto” and restless on returning to rural Georgia; snark about “District 13 from Hunger Games” (28:08)

13. Bedtime Routines & Phone Battery Dependency (29:47–30:43)

• Riley’s social participation completely dictated by his phone’s battery percentage:
  • Landon: “If Riley’s phone gets on about 20%, he’s done.” (29:53)

14. Heartfelt Farewell: Saying Goodbye to Hannah (30:45–32:23)

• The hosts thank their stylist/producer Hannah, wishing her luck as she moves to NYC.
  • Hannah (as "C"): Delivers a comedic “mother hen” monologue about caring for Riley and Landon, mixing southern humor with loving mentorship. (31:40–32:20)

15. Wearable Tech: Oura Ring vs. Apple Watch (32:31–35:14)

• Comparing sleep and health metrics—and doubting their accuracy.
  • Riley: “My Oura ring said my cardiovascular age is five years higher than it was.” (33:55)
  • Landon boasts his “cardio age” is younger than his real age despite not drinking water.

---

Cousin Council Segment (Listener Q&A) (35:23–39:27)

Case 1: “I figured out my brother smokes weed. Should I tell my parents?”

• Advice: Don’t snitch. “Snitches get stitches. Do it with him.” (36:08)
• “Buy him some Cheez-Its and a honey bun and you shut the hell up.” (36:17)

Case 2: “I’m 17 and single. Help.”

• Advice: Enjoy your youth, don’t rush.
  • “Worry about going to college, figuring out what you want to do with your life. …Love yourself and get in a relationship with that bank account.” (37:41)

Case 3: “Pretty sure my aunt tried to poison her husband—nobody talks about it.”

• Advice: Stay on her good side, don’t incriminate yourself.
  • “I just want to know what he did.” (38:22)
  • “As long as I don’t have to be involved, give me all the damn details.” (39:10)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On sleep boundaries:

  • “Once my sleep mode is on, nobody’s breaking through.” — Landon (04:08)
  • “You better take your needs to someone else.” — Landon (05:44)

• On clout chasing:

  • “I have seen more people support me since I got a platform than I ever have in my whole life. …That’s called a clout chaser. Chase somebody else.” — Riley (13:09)

• On small-town returns:

  • “Honestly, after being in a big city … I do feel like I’m in District 13 of the Hunger Games a little bit.” — Riley (28:08)

• On “health routines”:

  • “There’s nothing that a little aluminum never hurt.” — Landon on deodorant (12:00)
  • “My Cardiovascular age is three years younger than my actual age, which is 21, and I’m thriving just fine without zero water.” — Landon (35:14)

---

Key Timestamps

• 00:01 — Opening roasts, hair and forehead jokes
• 01:05 — Sleep hygiene and bed-making debate
• 03:11 — The sleep mode controversy begins
• 06:00 — Apartment woes, electrocution, appliance gripes
• 10:53 — Product preferences, Pine-Sol allergies, natural deodorant rants
• 13:09 — Small-town clout chasers emerge
• 15:33 — Stories from Broadway, Nashville nightlife
• 18:50 — Live360 and location-sharing dilemmas
• 20:25 — Cheese dip, food nostalgia, hot vs. mild foods
• 23:29 — In-N-Out’s arrival in Tennessee and regional pride
• 24:20 — Playful roasts on appearance and fashion
• 28:08 — The shock of returning home after big city life
• 29:47 — Riley’s phone battery and social cut-off
• 30:45 — Heartfelt shout-out for Hannah
• 32:31 — Comparing wearable health tech
• 35:23 — Cousin Council: advice segment begins

---

Tone & Language

The episode’s tone is casual, relentlessly playful, and peppered with southern colloquialisms and inside jokes. Riley and Landon swing easily from affectionate mockery to earnest stories about family and community, keeping things relatable and lively for listeners. There’s a distinct current of “found family” and mutual acceptance beneath the ribbing—a core ingredient that powers both the humor and emotional appeal of the show.

---

For new listeners:
This episode is a perfect showcase of the hosts’ chemistry: fast-paced, full of back-and-forth ribbing, but also grounded with commentary on boundaries, friendship, and the struggle to balance small-town roots with big city living. Cousin Council delivers unsparing, comedic advice to audience confessionals, rounding out a thoroughly entertaining session of “banter” with real talk beneath the laughter.

---

Transcript

[A]

Hit your head that far. Get away from me. I didn't hear nothing and you go there. You're stupid.

[B]

I don't eat a lot of. But I ain't eating no damn tuna fish.

[A]

No bread.

[B]

Balding. Hmm?

[A]

Balding. You're balding.

[B]

Oh, we're starting right now.

[A]

You're balding.

[B]

Riley, you don't have to say something more than you're balding.

[A]

I mean, hell, Riley, your hair's looking awful thin today. You're balding.

[B]

Landon, I'm so sorry that I'm balding. Not everyone is blessed with luscious locks like you.

[A]

You need to take like a vitamin or something to get that hair better.

[B]

Well, find me one. No, I think my hair is just fine. It's genetic.

[A]

If they could only see the back. You've got a bald spot back there.

[B]

But they can't see the back, so let's not give them a visual.

[A]

I think we should.

[B]

If we're going to talk about my bald spot, let's talk about that forehead.

[A]

Okay, that's it. This is bloodline banter.

[B]

I'm Landon and this is Riley.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

So how'd you sleep last night?

[A]

You know, shame on me for not making my bed before because I usually make my bed every morning, but I didn't make it the other day. But there's just something about getting in a clean, fresh made bed, and I did not do that.

[B]

That's pointless. I've never. I don't understand people who make their bed before they get in it. What is the point in make Unless you have company coming over and your mom's like, go clean your room. There's company coming over, knowing dang good and well no one's gonna ever come in your room. I don't ever make my bed because what's the point making a bed that you're gonna get in in eight hours.

[A]

But making a bed sets the day.

[B]

You know what else sets the day?

[A]

What?

[B]

A coffee. You're right. So I think I'm gonna set my day with like Starbucks or maybe I'm running on Duncan.

[A]

But you know, back. Back on subject. I. I'm not making my bed well. I usually make my bed, but I didn't last night and I just didn't sleep as good. Getting in a fresh made bed is elite.

[B]

I'm sure it is elite. And I feel good whenever I do it, but I just don't feel like it's a necessary part of the day. Like I don't wake up in the morning. I did Sleep good last night? I got home yesterday. We had a very busy day yesterday. Been running around all day, literally. And got home last night and I opened my door to my apartment, went in, sat on the couch, and I just felt the earth's force gravitating me to the couch and I couldn't get up. It was like I stuck. So finally I mustered up enough courage to get in the shower and wind down my day and, you know, turned on some. Turned on a TV show. It was good.

[A]

Speaking of running yesterday, y' all will see this, but I done a little too much much exercise yesterday.

[B]

Yeah, every time I, I step forward, I feel like a boa constrictor.

[A]

Do you not feel like your shin bones are hard? Riley and I had to do some stuff yesterday and it required running in boots. And we, we do that, but not often. Cuz someone, if I'm running, someone's chasing me.

[B]

We don't do that. If I'm running, the Krispy Kreme is on fire or someone has a knife. And that's about the extent of my exercise.

[A]

And we, we just don't exercise.

[B]

What time did you go to bed last night?

[A]

1:30.

[B]

What time are you like, would you say, is your cut off? Like if someone texts you and says, would you like to go out? If it's past this time, you're just like, no, I'm not moving.

[A]

Well, are you asking me what time my sleep mode turns on?

[B]

Sure. Is that what time you're cut off for the day?

[A]

Yeah, when my sleep mode's on, I'm done. I'm done my sleep mode. Nobody can get past my sleep mode. My sleep mode is like, yeah, we.

[B]

Need to talk about that because if something is going. I texted Landon the other day and I said I had something. We're both watching the same show on Netflix and he wants me to keep him updated whenever I get to certain parts because he's watched it 20,000 times and I was texting him with an update that he requested and crickets. I would have had a better luck dropping a note in a bottle in the Pacific Ocean and it reaching your front door here in Tennessee before I ever got a hold of it. That's ridiculous.

[A]

Once my sleep mode is on, nobody's breaking through. I don't have. Riley let me know that you could like make settings where somebody could get past your sleep mode. Like if some. If I texted Riley, I'm past asleep mode, he has like a list on his phone of people that are get past the sleep mode yes, because when I'm ready to go to bed, I'm going to be.

[B]

Something happens. You don't want to be al. Like, alerted, like.

[A]

No.

[B]

In my sleep mode.

[A]

10:30 is my sleep mode, okay?

[B]

In the settings in my phone, I have a sleep mode. And then there's a work mode and a personal mode. Whatever. In the sleep mode, I have all of my family who can break through. What if something happens, you know, back home or. Some. Somebody needs you. Someone needs a friend.

[A]

They can need you in the morning when you wake up.

[B]

But what if it's time sensitive? What if I need you and, like, something is really going south and I just need to tell you something and I can't get a hold of you?

[A]

You're not going to be able to get a hold of me because my sleep mode is on.

[B]

That's ridiculous land. And that really shows how good of a friend you are.

[A]

Probably don't even go there. What? When I, When I cut my sleep mode on it, it. No notifications come through. It's my time to just.

[B]

Well, why don't you use the personal setting for that?

[A]

Because it's sleep mode. I don't need a person. I don't need anybody personable texting me. If you text me, you're. You're shit out of luck.

[B]

Well, that shows where I stand.

[A]

You stand out of luck if you text me.

[B]

Okay, but you never answer my question. What time does your sleep mode kick in?

[A]

Like, I don't know if it's 10:30 or 11:30.

[B]

Really? Is that early? Landon, you don't go to bed till 3 o' clock in the morning.

[A]

That's my time to relax.

[B]

Could you not relax? Like, what if I need you when you're relaxing?

[A]

You better take your needs to someone else. What could you possibly need at 11:30 at night?

[B]

You heard it here first, folks. If I'm in the shower one night and I just so happened to slip and, and break my leg and I need to get a hold of Landon, then I'm just gonna lay in the bathtub and bleed out.

[A]

How would you bleed out in the bathtub? If you. Okay, whatever. Speaking of our apartment and needing me, this could be a potential risk that we're going through right now. I. The past three nights in a row, I've been electrocuted. And I'm saying electrocuted because I feel, feel like I've been electrocuted by the same outlet in my apartment three days in a row.

[B]

I turned on a light switch that I didn't know existed because I found it on the wall and I turned it on and I immediately smelt burning. Like burning rubber.

[A]

You think there could be electrical problems in our apartment complex?

[B]

I don't know. Maybe we should ask.

[A]

Well, you called me that one day and you broke your breaker and Riley had to call me to ask how to cut his breaker back on in his breaker box.

[B]

Well, I was running the stove, the washer, the dryer, and I had my air fryer plugged into my kitchen island because I was making some.

[A]

Just overloaded the. The circuit.

[B]

I overloaded. I may have overloaded the dryer because our washer is like one foot wide and our dryer is three foot wide. So I mean, really, I could wash four loads of clothes and then dry them all at the same time. So maybe our washer is tiny. I hate a front loader. I hate a front loading washer because I don't feel like anything could get clean in that. What do you mean there's no water seeping out of the front?

[A]

You like one? That's okay.

[B]

I want one that you open like a. Like a treasure chest.

[A]

Okay. And drop your. Put where you put clothes down in there and. And it fills up with water.

[B]

Yeah, that makes a lot more sense to me because, you know, since we've moved in and I've ran my front load washer, I've never seen water in.

[A]

It because it squirts up in there.

[B]

And like, my clothes are not getting cleaned by the squirts of water submerged.

[A]

Your clothes aren't clean?

[B]

I don't know. I might have to find a laundromat here in Nashville because I don't have much faith in my front loading washer. I've seen it.

[A]

There are times you can wash maybe four.

[B]

You can wash four wash rags. Four wash rags and a tank top in that thing. And I don't wear tank tops. But. And. And then you could dry half your wardrobe because the dryer is like a regular industrial dryer. Psychotic. I don't understand it. What's wrong with just, you know, side by side? I get. We don't have that much room, but side by side, open, drop, submerge, spin.

[A]

Drain, wash, dryer, spin, drain, what?

[B]

The cycle of the washer. They fill up with clothes and they. Then they wash the clothes and they drain the clothes. Then they rinse the clothes, spin the clothes. That's how washer works.

[A]

What does ours do?

[B]

Good question. Don't know. I've never had a front loading washer. I think they're ghetto And I think that there's got to be mold in them.

[A]

Mold?

[B]

Landon, there's so much that there's no way that can drain properly.

[A]

I don't know. I'm talking. I was talking about electrocution.

[B]

Okay, well, I'm afraid to plug in.

[A]

I'm serious as a heart attack when I tell you this, that our apartment complex. I have cut on the same exact outlet three days in a row. In the past three days in a row, it. It shocks me.

[B]

Have you put in a maintenance request?

[A]

I've not put in a maintenance.

[B]

Perhaps that would be a good idea.

[A]

But, like, I don't want to be needy.

[B]

Would you rather be needed or dead?

[A]

My. My arm felt a little tingle.

[B]

Cynthia. Okay, that's called a heart attack. It's messing up your electrical waves in your heart. It's time to go into the portal and put in a little service request and say, hey. Just letting you know that my electrical outlet is shocking.

[A]

Most times, the kitchen.

[B]

Unless you want workman's comp, I would suggest you send the maintenance van to my apartment. Best comma, landed, mock send with high importance.

[A]

I have to do that. I'm gonna go home and cut on the lot, and if it shocks me, I'll send in the maintenance request.

[B]

Okay. Well, I guess I'll go with you.

[A]

In case it's not a little static electricity, you know, like, oh, you rubbed up against this a little too long. And you.

[B]

No, it's called.

[A]

It gets me good.

[B]

Yeah. Anyways, I went to the flea market one time with my nana. We were going to the flea market, and you know how they just have stuff set up. You just kind of walk around like a big yard sale is what a flea market is. And we walked into the flea market, and they had these lighters. I didn't know they were lighters. And I went to light one of them, and it shocked the shit out of me. It was a prank lighter. And I honestly thought it took four years off my life. So now, if I die early, then I'm just going to contribute it to the fact that when I was 11, I was shocked by an electric prank lighter at the floor flea market. I never.

[A]

I don't think I've ever been to. I went to a flea market one time, and I had to go to the hospital after that, almost.

[B]

Do you get fleas?

[A]

No. They had, like, antiques in there, and I was allergic to, like, pine. Like wood pine or something. I don't know where they grow pine trees. No, it's, like, super. I don't the pine essence in there? I don't know. I couldn't breathe. I had to die.

[B]

So you can't use Pine Sol on your floors then? I would assume.

[A]

I don't use Pine Sol on my floors. What do you use on your floors?

[B]

I use some kind. I'll show you whenever I get home. I don't know what it.

[A]

Is it natural?

[B]

No. Pretty much going to get cancer the.

[A]

Time he's 30 because he uses chemical stuff to.

[B]

I'm not opposed to using holistic medicine or allnatural product.

[A]

All natural is.

[B]

The only thing I'm not using all natural is deodorant. All these people say they use all natural deodorant and that it, it just helps and it helps prevent, protect their pits from cancer or whatever. I don't want an all natural deodorant. I want something that's going to give me carcinoma of the armpit. Because all these all natural people that go out using all natural deodorant, that's why you stink. That's why you're walking through the Walmart and you look over and you can see a green stench from Brenda's pits because she's used an all natural deodorant.

[A]

It really don't work.

[B]

No, it doesn't. I think we should outlaw it because.

[A]

There'S nothing that a little aluminum never hurt.

[B]

Aluminum under the pits. It's not a big deal. Anyways, speaking of bedtime, my, my Cutoff is like 10 o' clock and if you want to find me during the week, I'm not the kind of person that just goes out and wants to party. And you know, we moved to Nashville. There's a big night live here. Everybody's on Broadway and hanging out past my bedtime. And it's like they just want to go out and have fun. Whenever it gets dark, it gets dark here at five o'. Clock. And by then I think it's two o' clock in the morning and I'm done. Five hours past bedtime. And I got a call the other day from someone who was back home. They were out partying. I get a phone call from this person I've not talked to in probably six or seven years. And they're like, hey, I'm here with my girlfriend. I told her we grew up together. She watches you on Tik Tok and.

[A]

I'm like, I already know where this is going.

[B]

I've talked to you four times since we played Little League T ball. And all of a sudden you're My best friend because your girlfriend follows me on Tick Tock.

[A]

They want you for clout. They think they're the.

[B]

Well, news flash, they're not even the fart. So they need to find another friend to chase for clout, because it ain't me. If you ain't talked to him, I looked at him, I said, hey, it's good to see you. And good to see him, too. I've not talked to him since I was probably six.

[A]

Oh, you broke the ground there.

[B]

You're not going to use me for clout. I'm so sorry. I. I don't. You act like I'm Matthew McConaughey.

[A]

People like that from our hometown are just like that.

[B]

I have seen more people support me since, like, I got a platform than I ever have in my whole life. I literally had someone comment on my Facebook post the other day and said, I bought Otis Spunk Meer cookies for you in the sixth grade. Well, congratulations, Judy. So did 437 other people. And I. I won a free trip to Six Flags. Congratulations. I've never seen your name before. Now that's called a clout chaser. Chase somebody else.

[A]

And it's just like. And we were pretty popular in high school, you know, but whenever we got, like, went viral or whatever on Tick Tock, Whatever. However that works. Or whatever. However we did it, you. We went to school and, like, we were already pretty, you know, popular.

[B]

Well, I was. We were popular in school just because, like.

[A]

Because we're funny as hell and everybody wanted to be our friends, period.

[B]

Well, I was gonna have a little bit of humbleness in my heart.

[A]

No, that's just the truth.

[B]

But now that we friends. But people.

[A]

The people that didn't want to be our friends when we were in high school, like, now they really want to be our friends.

[B]

I was friends with everyone in high school. I was friends with the weird kids that people made fun of. I was friends with the people who played sports. I was friends with everybody.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I don't know, the people that weren't.

[A]

They are dying to be our friends now. And I'm like, I have enough friends.

[B]

I don't have time for you. My bedtime is 8:30.

[A]

You talk about nightlife. We went out the other day on Broadway, and we went to something y'.

[B]

All should know about. Nashville is Broadway. You never know what you're gonna see.

[A]

Never.

[B]

I mean, you could see.

[A]

I'm about to tell them what they're gonna see. We went, where do we go? The stages or stage or whatever.

[B]

It's a bar in Nashville.

[A]

Yeah. And we go in there, and everybody is psychotically drunk.

[B]

That's just Broadway. That's not just that bar.

[A]

Everybody's drunk, which is fine. You know, you go to Broadway to have fun, do whatever you want to do. We get in. There's a man dancing. I have a video of this. We'll insert the clip if we can.

[B]

He has a QR code for his Venmo on the back of his shirt.

[A]

And he's breaking it down. Just crazy. Well, we go to the back, and we go upstairs because, like, a rooftop bar or whatever, and then we come back down. And what did we see?

[B]

Well, we walked down, and apparently the Church of God had a revival down the street. Because we've seen about eight or 10 women in blue jean skirts. And you know what? If you want to go out and drink in a blue jean skirt, you have the best time of your life.

[A]

You could definitely tell they were a church of God because their. Their hair was like.

[B]

The higher the hair.

[A]

The higher the hair, the closer to Jesus and.

[B]

Woman hair.

[A]

They did. And they were church of God. And I'm not judging anybody, you know, but no, let me tell you something. They were having a time, and they were drinking a little. They weren't drinking a little. Not.

[B]

They were probably Venmo and the man dancing with the shirt on.

[A]

You might not want to wear your blue jean skirt at a bar.

[B]

But you know what? I have to give them credit. They weren't wearing boots. They weren't fitting. They were probably wearing flats, Toms. And, I mean, I gotta give them props for not wearing boots. They weren't fitting in with the crowd because everybody wears. Good for them. But you know the guy that had the venom on the back of his shirt? I can't stand a moocher. Why are you dancing with the Venmo on the back of your shirt now? If it's paying the bills, you do you. But, like, get a real job. But, you know, people say that about us. Get a real job. Social media is not a real job. But you know what? Before I dance in a bar, and he wasn't even a good dancer, I think I'd go get a job at the In N Out that just opened down the street.

[A]

Hold on. Sorry. Somebody texted me, if I would have.

[B]

Done that, you would have jumped down my damn throat. No, I wouldn't have. If I would have gotten on my phone right now, you'd say, riley, get off the damn phone. Keep your damn phone in your Pocket. You know you would have. Bull crap, Landon. You're full of.

[A]

No, you are. If you get a notification, you check it.

[B]

And if I'd have checked it, you'd have cussed me out just now.

[A]

I had to make sure something wasn't somebody important. My sleep mode's not on right now.

[B]

Oh, but when. When I need you, though, it's not important enough for you to check. And if you did check it, you didn't respond.

[A]

Don't be a tear or be trying to check my notifications.

[B]

Be consistent. I do agree you would have custom out. Thank you, Aaron. Thank you.

[A]

Can you get a round of applause for the notification?

[B]

Check it when we're done. That's what you would have told me to do.

[A]

You're right.

[B]

Maybe I would, because then literally we've talked about my screen time before, and you jumped down my phone.

[A]

Okay, Someone else is. Ring my line and I'm not checking it.

[B]

Who was it that's so important?

[A]

I don't know. I'm not checking it.

[B]

It wasn't made, so it's not too important.

[A]

Where's Actually, where's your phone right now?

[B]

Actually, it's right here, and I'm refraining from being on it. And I just got a notification and I'm not gonna check it because I've.

[A]

Got a notification and I got a notification at the same time.

[B]

No, I just got it.

[A]

I did, too. Can I check it, see if it's the same thing?

[B]

Mine was Live360 because someone's battery's on 9%. What was yours?

[A]

It was an email. I was hoping it was something juicy, like in our friend group back at home. Life360. Do you.

[B]

They probably know.

[A]

What do you think about Live360? My mom still makes me have Live360 on phone. I'm 21. I live on my own, and I'm in a complete different city. And she's like, landon, if you delete Live360 from your phone, I'm going to beat your ass.

[B]

Well, that's probably why, because, I mean, we're in the big city. There's some crazy that.

[A]

I just don't want her stalking me.

[B]

I'm literally in, like, six different circles. Speaking of which, I'm not in a circle with you, and I. You don't even share your location with me.

[A]

You. Me tell you the honest truth. Yeah, because what if I'm doing something that, like, I need? Like, I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to know where I'm at. I don't. I don't care to like.

[B]

But we're like best friends. We have secrets. So why are you trying to get keep.

[A]

No, because if I'm just, like, out somewhere and I didn't invite you or didn't want you to come or whatever, I'm with my other friend.

[B]

So if you're a fake friend and you don't want me to find out, you're just going to lie low and not tell me, Potentially, I'll knock on your door.

[A]

Well, that's what I'm saying. The laughter, she sees you thing. Like, if I don't want you to know where I'm at or what I'm doing or who I'm with, then I don't want you in my circle.

[B]

Well, now I feel like you're fake.

[A]

You're fake. How do you am I? Your live 360 circles.

[B]

You won't join one.

[A]

No, but you're right.

[B]

You're not getting my location if I can't have yours.

[A]

I'm getting roasted.

[B]

I'm in six different circles. I'm in circles with people I don't even know.

[A]

Well, then delete.

[B]

No, because my grandparents are in that circle, and I like to know when they're home because sometimes I just like to roll up and for dinner. And she's made a good spread. Good old Baptist woman. That's what they do best. It's just the truth.

[A]

What? We just went home this last weekend. What did you eat? Like, what did Dee have prepared for you?

[B]

I don't think I ate dinner with them the first time. Oh, because you called me and wanted to go tell Trio to go get Mexican food. Because let me tell y' all something, folks. Back where we're from, we roll up to the Mexican joint and get some white people cheese dip. Not queso. It's called cheese dip. It's white saturated fat that you could probably lay out in the sun for three years and still eat it on the third year. And here it's, like, authentic. And I feel like I need to be bilingual to eat it. And I respect the culture. I respect the hell out of the culture. I love the food. But what is wrong with some white people cheese dip?

[A]

They don't have that here?

[B]

No, they don't.

[A]

We went to a Mexican restaurant the other day, and it was, like, yellow.

[B]

Thick, and spicy as hell.

[A]

You don't like spicy?

[B]

I don't like spicy. I can't even eat a Taki.

[A]

Takis are pretty spicy, which is why.

[B]

I Can't eat them.

[A]

You're a tit.

[B]

I am a tit when it comes to hot food. But I've gotten better.

[A]

Yeah, you have.

[B]

I've gotten better. You could eat up. You could eat the ass end of a. I don't even know why I'm.

[A]

Thinking of this right now. It's like, why am I even thinking of this? But the spiciness, like, when you warm food, it warms you up.

[B]

Well, on that note, I'm gonna go home and eat a habanero because let me tell you what I was getting at. It has been so cold.

[A]

Hail H A I L, not hell. Hail.

[B]

Hail as in gonna dent your car because I can't do the cold landing every time. The other day, he looks at me and he goes, this is like 9:30 sleep mode's about to kick on. And I said. He said, you want to go for a walk? Where the hell are we gonna walk to?

[A]

To our car or to. Just down the street?

[B]

For what?

[A]

Because the cold weather is good. I like the cold weather.

[B]

Well, on that note, you go right ahead. If I had you on live360, I'd.

[A]

Know when it is pretty cold outside. We were walking back to our. So our apartment complex. The parking is full and we have to park. It's like, what, fourth a quarter of a mile?

[B]

Four and a half miles.

[A]

A quarter of a mile.

[B]

Four and a half.

[A]

Does it feel like four and a half?

[B]

Yes. Especially when you're walking up a hill when it's negative 12 degrees outside and the wind's blowing in your face. Riley Landon. It is frigid outside.

[A]

One block.

[B]

I don't care if it's three blocks or a half a block or if I parking in the garage and take the elevator up. It's too far for me to walk anyway, guys.

[A]

We're walking or whatever and it's deathly cold. Like 18 degrees.

[B]

He's thriving every day.

[A]

And then we had the right like a polar bear. Then we had to bright the bright idea to go to in and out and stand in the cold there.

[B]

45 minutes in the cold, we get stuck beside this man that just wants to tell us about his lost long cousin and how he moved here from New York and.

[A]

Because in and out just open in east Tennessee and. You know, this brings me to a hot topic and I'm actually mad about this. I've been watching all the in and outs open in Tennessee. They won't open in Lebanon. They're one open in an attack or whatever in merger and We.

[B]

I don't know how to say it.

[A]

We have in and out now here in Tennessee. But people in the comments are like, this is. They should be shameful of this. We should have kept it in California. I can't believe we put the in and out on the east coast. They're mad that we. That they brought in and out here because why? I don't know. It.

[B]

They're.

[A]

They're really pressed about it.

[B]

Well, they're going to run off to their hillbilly holler.

[A]

But you know what I'll say to.

[B]

Them, you know what was founded in.

[A]

Georgia, the Chick Fil A and we shared it with their asses on the west coast. Well, so they can share their in and out.

[B]

Well, they can go eat their possum stew and their hillbilly collar. And I'm gonna eat my double, double protein style, animal style with green. With some.

[A]

I feel like you need to get your ear. Ears pinned back.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because I'm just looking at you.

[B]

I feel like you need a forehead reduction.

[A]

I'm just.

[B]

And I feel like you need to get your eyebrows waxed.

[A]

I do need that. But your ears are. Please.

[B]

Excuse me, folks. Is this better? Do I look like Cindy Lou who?

[A]

No, that's how they are right now. You don't even have to do that. And that's how they look.

[B]

Well, I'm so sorry. Just, I mean, take that up with the Lord.

[A]

Maybe you could have surgery back there.

[B]

Maybe you could.

[A]

Shut the hell up. Are they red?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Doctor, tell me your blood pressure might be high.

[B]

Every time my ears get slightly red, I could. I could run a 5k marathon. If I walk in and my ears are slightly red, landing's like, why are you mad? I'm like, well, I'm not mad. He said, well, your blood pressure is high. Your ears are red. I'm so sorry.

[A]

I have blood pressure.

[B]

I'm so sorry, Dr. McStuffins. I.

[A]

Who's Doctor?

[B]

It's a cartoon, I think. Or Dr. Quinn, Medicine Lady. I'm so sorry that my ears are red. Let me just.

[A]

You made fun of me for wearing my Crocs and you're wearing those ugly ass golden this episode.

[B]

And what about it?

[A]

They look like bowling shoes.

[B]

I don't care if you think they look like bowling shoes or not. I like them. They're comfortable.

[A]

They look.

[B]

They're actually not comfortable.

[A]

How much you pay for them?

[B]

That's not important.

[A]

Tell me, how much did you pay.

[B]

Over your Louis Vuitton bag?

[A]

That's not important.

[B]

Oh, important.

[A]

A Louis Vuitton bag can't be. Can't be comfortable.

[B]

It can't be comfortable when you're wearing it on the. On your shoulder.

[A]

Where did you. You went into the Golden Goose store.

[B]

And you went with me and you said you liked him so. Hell, you're just fake and a liar.

[A]

And you're a.

[B]

Well, I've been called worse. I'm that one.

[A]

And you need Botox because your forehead's wrinkly.

[B]

The 23rd.

[A]

Yeah, I'm getting Botox like a the 23rd, dumbass.

[B]

You told me. Riley, you can't get Botox. Your facial expressions have to show for the podcast.

[A]

They do.

[B]

Can my face. Okay. I'm just getting it in the forehead. I can still do that.

[A]

Back on track. Golden Goose. It looked like bowling shoes. And you spent how much on those?

[B]

That's not important.

[A]

Tell them.

[B]

No, tell the people it's not important.

[A]

700.

[B]

I don't remember.

[A]

You're lying.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

You were a line.

[B]

What does it matter? How much did you pay for your clogs?

[A]

$186. 186 or 189? I don't remember. How much you pay for those?

[B]

I don't remember. Should I pull up the receipt?

[A]

You're lying.

[B]

I don't remember. It was about.

[A]

Oh. Oh. He was about to confess.

[B]

I don't remember. Why isn't it. Why it's about what was it your money?

[A]

No, but I just.

[B]

Did I owe you the money?

[A]

Probably. No, it's probably how much you spend on this?

[B]

I don't remember the exact price. They were expensive, but I don't remember the exact. Worn them probably three times $800. No, they weren't that much.

[A]

How much?

[B]

They were probably about 600.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And what does it matter?

[A]

I think they were 795.

[B]

What does it matter if they were ugly and they look 27.82 and I.

[A]

Can'T believe you would wear those on this podcast because you may wear Crocs. Crocs.

[B]

You wear crocs.

[A]

And $4 on than spend.

[B]

And you know what? Go spend your 64 on your Crocs. I'll spend my 700 on my golden Gooses. And mind your damn business. This. That's okay. I can do it too. I got two of them.

[A]

We just went home this past week.

[B]

And what you do literally nothing. I went.

[A]

Do you feel ghetto when we go back home?

[B]

Yeah. And someone's going to take this and post it in the county Facebook page and say they used to have forgotten where they come from and they're just ungrateful pieces of. But honestly, after being in a big city and going home to little old northwest Georgia, I do feel like I'm in District 13 of the Hunger Games a little bit. I do. I feel like we need to go out and shoot a deer and share it with the family.

[A]

I just don't do nothing when I'm home. I feel like so unproductive. There's nothing to do where we live.

[B]

Landon would take me about six hours into being home and say, you ready to go back yet?

[A]

And I am ready to go back.

[B]

What did you do this weekend?

[A]

Nothing. Literally nothing.

[B]

The same thing I do. No, I went to. What did I do? I feel like I had something going on this weekend.

[A]

You never text me when you're at home.

[B]

Well, you never text me when you're on sleep mode, so now we're even.

[A]

No, when we're back at home, I'll text Riley and it'll an hour to get to get.

[B]

I'm so sorry that I'm catching up with the family.

[A]

What's so important?

[B]

I don't know. The family maybe.

[A]

What? What's. What do they do?

[B]

I. I don't know. My nana cooks a pretty damn good dinner when I'm home.

[A]

Well, you couldn't tell me what she.

[B]

Cooked earlier because I didn't eat with her. Because you wanted to go get a margarita.

[A]

Three days and I went to get.

[B]

A margarita at El Trio and I drank half of it and went home.

[A]

Because you're a party pooper. Because let me tell you what Riley does.

[B]

Because my bedtime is 9:30.

[A]

No.

[B]

And even if I'm not in bed at 9:30, I'm at least laying down. I don't pass 10 o'. Clock. If you want to get me out of the house, you're going to have to come pick me up and carry me because I'm not moving you me.

[A]

Tell you your problem.

[B]

What's my.

[A]

Whenever Riley's phone dies, he's done.

[B]

That is the truest thing.

[A]

If Riley's phone gets on about 20%, he's done.

[B]

Once I see the red, it's over.

[A]

And he has to get up and leave.

[B]

And if I put it on low power mode, it starts acting like I got a damn ipod nano and the damn thing don't work.

[A]

Problem with this because we'll be sitting down at a restaurant and I'll be have enjoying my drink and my food and the Phone battery will be on 20%, you know. Okay, I'm ready to go. Go. I'm ready. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm ready to go.

[B]

Maybe you should start carrying a portable charger.

[A]

No, you can start carrying a portable charger because your phone's the one.

[B]

But it don't bother me when I have to leave, so if it bothers you when I have to leave, maybe.

[A]

It does, because I'm sitting there high and dry by myself, drinking a freaking margarita.

[B]

Friend. You were sitting with a friend. You were sitting with two people when I left.

[A]

Yeah, it don't matter. It's not the same.

[B]

Do I mean that much to you?

[A]

No, you don't, but because I don't.

[B]

Mean enough for you for you to take me off. Let me break through your sleep mode.

[A]

So. Breaking through my sleep mode.

[B]

Well, that tells me everything I need to know.

[A]

Can we talk about Hannah for a second on this podcast? Sure. So we started our, you know, podcast Journey here at the Cast Collective, and Hannah was one of the delightful people here working with us, and she is a delight.

[B]

Now she's just taking us in like a mother dove right under her wing.

[A]

She styles our outfits, she fixes my shirt.

[B]

Everything.

[A]

Everything she does is heaven's secret.

[B]

And we're losing her to New York City.

[A]

And we're losing her to New York City. But y' all can find her soon. She's watching us right now.

[B]

Find her on the big stage.

[A]

On the big stage. And whatever episode this, you know, is, we'll. We'll drop the Hannah pin down below. Hannah's.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

Follow all that. All that good stuff. She's watching us right now.

[B]

Just go ahead and let out a laugh for us.

[A]

Give us your best laugh on command, boys.

[B]

Good improv. Yes.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Now, I wash them, I dress them, and I send them off into the day. But sometimes it's hard because I just.

[A]

Want to hold them.

[C]

If I could keep them. If I could keep them in their school clothes and feed them a biscuit, maybe I'd be happy. I'd be so happy. But they gotta grow. They gotta grow. I gotta. You know, and so I booze them up and I send them out, and I hope for the best. And I think, as a mother, what more can you. You asked for, right? Very little, as far as I'm concerned. Give him a good meal, slap on the tush, teach him some lessons along the way. Hopefully. Hopefully introduce them to Disco Dance.

[B]

Yes, yes. We would love nothing more.

[A]

Anyways, Hannah is just. She's a one of a kind. Y' all can hear. We're gonna miss her so bad. But she will be back, and we will be visiting her.

[B]

Speaking of aura, Landon is wearing his aura ring today. Okay, I forgot mine. And let me just tell you, I feel like I've kind of been deeply offended by oura ring because you're. Okay. I have an aura ring and an apple watch. I don't know why I have both. I'm over consumption's worst nightmare. The apple watch. When you're sitting on the couch enjoying a Netflix documentary, the apple watch will say, how about getting up and stretching our legs? You know, it's time. It's time for a break. My aura rings like, get up, you fat, lazy son of a. It is time to get up. You've not done anything all day. You've ate three Debbie cakes and two little Debbies. Those are the same thing.

[A]

But you know what?

[B]

The apple.

[A]

The apple watch is kind of fake because I. The other night, I had my aura ring on, and I plugged in my apple watch. Charge.

[B]

Landon owned his apple watch for one day and then gave it to his sister, by the way.

[A]

So I didn't like it. I. I bought it. It was like $800, 700 something dollars, and I just didn't like it. It's not feeling comfortable, and I gave it away. But I wore it that night, and I woke up the next morning, put it on, and it was like something. You had a great sleep, and I was like, I didn't even wear you.

[B]

Last night to the bed, Casper the friendly ghost.

[A]

And so it gives you a score. And it's not even like you got.

[B]

A participation trophy that you didn't participate.

[A]

In, but the aura ring.

[B]

The aura ring looked at me the other day and said, your Cardiovascular age is five years higher than it was.

[A]

Actually age eight years older. You're gonna die when you're 60, so you better get that on a control.

[B]

I have a cardiologist. He says I'm fine.

[A]

No, he don't. He says, yes, he actually did.

[B]

Do I need to give him a phone call now?

[A]

If your aura ring says that your. Your cardiovascular age is eight years older than your actual age, then you might want to figure that out.

[B]

Thank you, Derek shepherd, for that analysis.

[A]

You might want to figure that out.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Because mine is three years younger than my actual age.

[B]

Well, look at you. Aren't you just a prize possession?

[A]

And I don't even drink water. I don't even drink water.

[B]

What is.

[A]

Okay, I'm just saying, like, my cardiovascular age is.

[B]

I don't drink water either. You may tell you why, because the water from my refrigerator that supposedly goes through a filter tastes straight up like a chlorine tablet you'd stick in a pool.

[A]

Well, I don't drink water because I eat ice. I get my water from elsewhere. I get my water elsewhere. I get my water from coke and sweet tea and everywhere else. I don't. I don't like water. I don't drink water. And I'm a picture of health. My Cardiovascular age is three years younger than my actual age, which is 21, and I'm thriving just fine without zero water.

[B]

Clearly, we don't need to be giving health advice because, hell, I'm bigger than hell. And Landon, don't drink water. So, I mean, don't listen to anything that we're saying.

[A]

Anyways, we're gonna come back with Cousin Council. This is Cousin Council. Why do you have me doing this submission? It's dumb.

[B]

It ain't my fault someone lives a stupid life. This is severely up.

[A]

Okay, let the Cousin Council begin.

[B]

Welcome back to Cousin Council, where we give you advice on a current situation that you're facing and just give you our $0.02, which is really scary for you because we're kind of unqualified for that, but.

[A]

Yeah, but we're in robes and here we are.

[B]

This is my podcast.

[A]

How are you doing today?

[B]

I'm doing great. How are you?

[A]

I'm wonderful. Anyways, you ready to get this party started?

[B]

Ledger the case load.

[A]

Case file number.

[B]

What the hell? Case file number. What the hell?

[A]

I figured out my brother smokes weed. Should I tell my parents? What do I even do? You do nothing and you don't tell your parents. Snitches get stitches. Do it with him. That's my advice.

[B]

You buy your brother something savory and something sweet just in case he's in the mood for one or the other when he gets the munchies. So maybe some Cheez Its and a honey bun and you shut the hell up.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you do. Don't tell.

[B]

Snitches get stitches and wind up in ditches.

[A]

Yeah. So our advice is just buy them some honey buns.

[B]

I mean, if it's like, dealing it or something.

[A]

No, it's fine. Just buy them a gallon of water and go on about your business. You're gonna get caught in mouth really bad.

[B]

Well, okay.

[A]

Anyways. Just go on about your business.

[B]

Next case. I'm 17 and single. Help in all caps. That's my question.

[A]

Thank you. Well, you know, there's some people out here that's 21 and single.

[B]

If you're 17 and the only thing you have to worry about is being single or taken, then I would count that as a blessing because. Just wait until you have actual responsibilities.

[A]

And you're not even a legal adult yet. What are you trying to do, end up on Teen Mom?

[B]

You can't even smoke a cigarette. Just wait until you actually have responsibilities and the only thing single is the digit in your bank account. Then we'll talk. But until then, who cares if you're single? Damn. Y' all gotta tell.

[A]

I would just advise and counsel to worry about different things.

[B]

I think, honestly, that.

[A]

Worry about, like, going to college, figuring out what you want to do with your life. I drop failure and then love will find you.

[B]

I dropped out of college, so.

[A]

Yeah, or do like Riley did.

[B]

But listen, love yourself and get in a relationship with that bank account because it's the only thing that won't piss you off.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

And it will piss you off sometimes, but that just means you're not working hard enough.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Case closed.

[A]

Okay. This is actually. I don't know how to feel about this. I'm pretty sure that my aunt tried to poison her husband, but nobody talks about it. If nobody talks about it, that means she didn't get caught.

[B]

Honestly, that's.

[A]

And what did he do?

[B]

That's probably something that my aunt would do and so we may be related. And if we are.

[A]

I'm pretty sure that my aunt tried to poison her husband, but nobody talks about it. I just want to know what he did.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I want to know what he's got to done something.

[B]

How did you find this out?

[A]

Or maybe she's just crazy and you should run.

[B]

Or maybe you should get on her good side so she's not poison you too.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I bet he done something, if I had to guess.

[B]

I want to know how she did it. Did she, like, put it. Yeah.

[A]

Can you. We need a follow up on this.

[B]

Did she, like. Was she watching him in his sleep?

[A]

Did she put some bleach in a sweet tea? I need to know what. What had happened.

[B]

Hell, where was she eating a Tide Pod. I mean, that was a thing for a long time. I forgot about that. Yeah, people were just popping Tide pods and the breath still stunk, like. But my advice to you is to be friends with your aunt so she.

[A]

Doesn'T try to pull you. Can you please slide up again and tell us what's going on?

[B]

Yeah. I need to know the aunt's name. I also want to know what she looks like.

[A]

Aunt's name.

[B]

Okay, why not? Listen, I'm nosy. As long as I don't have to be involved. As long as I don't, you're not telling me anything that could make me a witness in a court of law. Give me all the damn details.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

And if it would make me a witness, just don't tell anybody you told me.

[A]

Amen again. Yeah. Anyways, so case adjourn.

[B]

And that was Cousin Council. If you have a story, confession, hot take, or just want our advice that's not recommended, email Bloodline [e-mail] and send us in your submissions.

[A]

Anyways, we'll talk to you later. Bye bye.

[B]

Bye bye now.

[A]

Dang, you changed quick.

[B]

I did.

[A]

It's just the. The spirit of the Lord.

[B]

I just.

[A]

Just. Bam.

[B]

Snapped and I was done. Thanks for tuning in to Bloodline Banter. We will see you guys next time. Until next time, stay out of trouble.

[A]

That's right. And find us wherever you stream your podcasts. Spotify, Apple. Subscribe to our YouTube anywhere. We love you.

[B]

Bye, Sam.