Podcast Summary

Podcast: BNI & The Power of One
Host: Tim Roberts
Episode: BNI 864: Kickbacks in BNI
Date: November 10, 2025

Main Theme: Kickbacks in BNI – Are They Appropriate?

This episode addresses a listener’s question about the role of kickbacks—monetary or other incentive payments for referrals—within BNI (Business Network International) groups. Tim Roberts discusses whether kickbacks are expected, appropriate, or should be discussed among BNI members, exploring the cultural nuance, risks, and best practices around this sensitive topic.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kickbacks Are Not Part of the BNI Ethos

• Not Expected or Necessary:

  • Tim clarifies that kickbacks are not expected nor a part of the BNI culture or program. Relationships and referrals within BNI should be built on mutual benefit and givers gain, not transactional rewards.

  “Kickbacks in BNI generally [are] not expected. It’s not why we’re in the chapter together...I don’t think it’s a general expectation people have when they join your chapter to either offer or receive it.” — Tim Roberts (02:00)

• Not Discussed or Advertised:

  • Publicly mentioning, offering, or promoting kickbacks in weekly or featured presentations makes others uncomfortable, sets a false precedent, and can potentially hurt the group dynamic.

  “I wouldn’t be selling it in my BNI moments...because again, it’s not expected, it’s not necessary. And you do put people kind of in an uncomfortable position in the chapter who don’t offer it.” — Tim Roberts (04:30)

2. Industry Variance and Personal Practices

• In some industries, offering kickbacks might be more standard, but Tim stresses that BNI is an exception and its practice should be kept separate.
• If a member wishes to give a kickback, it should be done quietly, after the fact, and never with the expectation that others will reciprocate.

3. Risks of Offering Kickbacks Within BNI

• Introducing kickbacks as a motivator can lead to low-quality referrals and “junk leads” as people are incentivized for volume rather than meaningful value.

  “There’s an increased risk that when you pitch that you’re going to give a kickback that you’ll get a whole lot more junk...They could really waste your time.” — Tim Roberts (06:00)

4. Requesting Kickbacks Is Inappropriate

• Explicitly asking another member for a kickback is strongly discouraged and considered highly offensive. This is not the purpose of BNI and can severely damage relationships.

  “The extra layer on this that you absolutely should never do is request a kickback...I would be highly offended because, again, [that’s] not what we’re here for.” — Tim Roberts (07:05) “If you offend somebody, that’s a massive withdrawal. A massive withdrawal.” — Tim Roberts (13:10)

5. Relationship Banking Analogy

• Tim offers a memorable analogy: relationships are like bank accounts, where you make deposits (goodwill-building actions) and withdrawals (negative actions).
• Consistently asking or expecting kickbacks results in major “withdrawals”, harming trust and long-term opportunity.

  “If you’re making more withdrawals than you are deposits, you’re not going to have a very successful account and you’re not going to have a very successful relationship.” — Tim Roberts (12:45)

6. Best Practices & Takeaways

• Don’t advertise or expect kickbacks in BNI.
• If your industry customarily offers something, do it privately, post-transaction, and only if you genuinely wish to express gratitude.
• Never request nor pressure others for kickbacks.
• Focus on building genuine, reciprocal relationships founded on trust.
• Referrals should be considered “kickbacks” enough within BNI—mutually generated through knowing, liking, and trusting each other.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On BNI’s Core Principle:

  “This is giver’s gain. This is what we do. We’re here to learn about who you’re looking for and prepare myself to see those opportunities to help you just as you are doing the same in return.” — Tim Roberts (02:45)

• On Offending Members:

  “If I got a referral from somebody and they came up to me after and asked for a kickback, I’d be pretty offended and upset myself.” — Tim Roberts (13:00)

• On Relationship Impact:

  “How we behave, how we act, everything that we do in our BNI chapter is going to impact that relationship in a positive or negative way.” — Tim Roberts (11:00)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:55] Listener email introduces the topic of kickbacks in BNI.
• [02:00] Kickbacks are not an expectation or part of BNI.
• [04:30] Risks of advertising kickbacks; discomfort for chapter members.
• [06:00] Potential negative consequences—more junk leads.
• [07:05] Strong warning against requesting kickbacks.
• [11:00] Relationship “bank account” analogy.
• [13:00] Personal offense when requests for kickbacks are made.

Tone & Closing Thoughts

Tim’s tone throughout the episode is direct, practical, and rooted in the values of trust and relationship-building. He approaches the topic with empathy for the asker, acknowledges industry nuances, but firmly reasserts BNI’s cultural foundation: networking for mutual benefit, not for transactional gain.

In Summary

• Kickbacks are not appropriate or expected within BNI.
• Don’t advertise or expect them.
• If you give, do so quietly and never assume reciprocity.
• Never request one.
• Focus on building strong, trust-based relationships—the true foundation for successful referrals.

For more questions or podcast topic suggestions, listeners are encouraged to visit bnipowerofone.com.