← Bravo's Hot Mic
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- [00:05]
A
Welcome to Bravo's Hot Mic.
- [00:07]
B
Thank you.
- [00:08]
A
It is great to see the legendary Dorinda medley.
- [00:12]
B
That's nice.
- [00:13]
A
Thank you again for flying across country, across the country to see me. And we have so much to cover because there is a. There's such an interest in you because you sort of exploded onto the Rony scene, and there's just an overwhelming fascination with who you are and your life. Just a ton to cover.
- [00:36]
B
Is that true?
- [00:37]
A
There is.
- [00:37]
B
I don't know if that's true.
- [00:38]
A
Oh, my God, no. People are really excited that you're here.
- [00:41]
B
Well, I think the thing that made it so easy for the audience to kind of bring me in and think of me as part of the family is you gotta remember for years, first of all, I've been friends with the girls for decades. And if you look very closely, I'm in a lot of the scenes in the background before I was ever on. So it's not like they hadn't seen me before. I was at all those lunches, and I. My late husband Richard, loved to go to those things. I'd be like, you know, Ramon invited me to something. Oh, let's go. It was the weirdest thing. He loved to be in the background. He would never speak, but he loved it. So even though, yes, I finally came on, I was part of that Bravo thing for quite a long time. I was the background noise.
- [01:20]
A
Well, it did make a lot of sense when you joined the show. And I think what was exciting to people was that you immediately fit right in, but you were also someone who didn't seem like you wanted it too badly. This is just who you were. And so you were kind of this unexpected, fun, fresh addition, but you had the history.
- [01:39]
B
But that's Ramona Singer. Listen, I have to always give credit to Ramona Singer. Ramona Singer pushed me to. You know, it was, of course, when it was first on, in the early days, when it first came to New York, I think it was called Moms of New York or something like that. And I was in the midst of raising Hannah. Hannah was in, and it just didn't work. Her father, you know, just. And it was such a new concept. I mean, I remember being on the Upper east side where all of us congregate in the morning, and them talking about it, and I was like, what do you mean, people are gonna follow you around? And it sounds like the most ridiculous thing ever. Like, why would they wanna do that? Right? And, you know, all kinds of people were kind of talking about it, but it didn't Seem real to me. But then, you know, I started to go, and these girls took on such a life of themselves. And Ramona would be like, do you want to come on? Do you want to be a friend? And I. Then I got married to Richard, and so it didn't work out again. And then after sort of, you know, Hannah went to college, and sadly, Richard passed. She came to me, she said, try it for a year, will you please? Just try it for a year? And if you don't like it, you don't have to come back. I just think it's time, you know, Richard's not here, unfortunately, and Hannah's away, so I think you should come on for a year. And I really was like, you know what? I've gone through so much transition. I'm kind of obviously a little bit lost, right, because things didn't work out the way I had planned them, because we all have a blueprint for this perfect life. We're going to have that I thought, I'm going to give it a shot. I watched the whole interviewing process now for the girls, and it's so much more intense than what I went through. Like, literally, I met with this girl, Jen. We had lunch, and she's like, yeah, I think you'd be great for the show. I'm like, okay, well, it sounds good to me. And then Lisa Shannon called me and said, well, can we come and film you? I'm like, sure, why not? And long behold. I was in Ramona's kitchen filming with her. Literally, that was the process which made.
- [03:32]
A
It easy to do, because you didn't. You couldn't even overthink it.
- [03:35]
B
Yeah, it did, you know, But I have to say, I want to be honest with you. The day that I filmed in the Hamptons, our first scene with Ramona, I do remember this. I remember being a little nervous. And then that camera came on and I started talking to Ramona. I was like. Like, I like the camera, and I think the camera likes me. It was really, like, just off to the races we went. And I. It was sort of a very interesting time in my life because I had sort of a little bit already been sort of slightly discouraged about, you know, obviously things the way they turned out. So I think my vulnerability really made me rawly honest about where I was in my life. Cause I'm like, I don't really give a shit anymore, you know, kind of. I'm not Mrs. You know, Richard's gone, Hannah's. All these titles that I carried for years. Mother, Wife, you know, I was like, that's all gone now. Now I'm just gonna be a badass housewife.
- [04:29]
A
I say often that I think that people who've had more seasoning in life are better on the shows across the board.
- [04:36]
B
Yes.
- [04:36]
A
Because I think you have to get to the point where you know what's really important, and otherwise you don't give a shit and you don't care what people think of you.
- [04:43]
B
Well, you know, I think you always. Of course we're human. We always care. But, you know, I always say to people, I always just say to Hannah, don't live by people's praise or die by their criticisms. And that applies to housewives. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. You know, when Sally from Minnesota says, you're this, of course, you're sort of like, well, you're a bitch. But you kind of can put it in perspective because you're like, well, Sally, I didn't know you before, and I'm probably not gonna know you after, but, you know, I've obviously evoked some feeling in you, and that's really what I'm here to do.
- [05:12]
A
Yeah, you're welcome.
- [05:12]
B
Yeah, you're welcome. The fact that you took time out of your day to tell me what a terrible person I'm in means you're interested in me. Sally. Sally, you like me.
- [05:21]
A
So tell me how you knew that group of women for so long. How did you come across them in the first place?
- [05:28]
B
Well, you know, for those of you that don't live in New York City, we all sort of congregate in one area called the Upper east side, or at least they used to. And sort of, if you had a child and you were married to a certain type of man or whatever, you lived on the Upper east side. And it sort of is a life of its own. You know, we kind of all eat in the same places, go to the same little. You know, the kids all play tennis in the same place. They all go to these schools that are sort of in a half a mile radius, you know, Sacred Heart, St. David, Spence. You know, there's. And you just. It's like a club. Non club, I would say, in a weird way. And I came back. I don't know if you know this, but I lived in London 10 years, and I came back from London. I knew them years and years ago when we were all kind of running the streets, you know, and living. And then we all got married and had babies, and I moved abroad and I came back and Hannah was back at private School on the Upper east side. And I just reconnected. And you just. You cannot help but run into these girls because you're all swimming in the same fishbowl. So the Harry Dubins are. And the Sonya. You see Sonya getting Ramona, we're all at the same places. You go to Lagaloo, you run into them, you go to the Regency, you run into them, you go to. You know, it's just. That's the way it was. So it just was a natural fit. And we all were living very paralleled lives, you know, wanting the right same things, wearing the same dresses, that kind of thing. Like, where does your daughter play tennis? And that kind of stuff. And it just was a very, you know, we really did kind of live 59th street and up. I used to say, you know, I'll meet you downtown before, you know, 6:00. I'll go downtown. Anything after 6:00, I gotta be uptown. And so you would just run into them all the time. And we. We all just became very close. And we still are all very close. Which is funny because, you know, a lot of us have moved to different places and bought second homes and children have grown, but literally, you can sit down with them at Burgdorf's for lunch, and it's as if nothing's changed. We all know they're kids. We're connected by kids. Divorces, death, you know what I mean? Sadly. But that's the way it is.
- [07:39]
A
And the bond of being a part of something together, too.
- [07:42]
B
Very much so. I always say that being part of Housewives is kind of like, you know, going into the army, you know, you could. Once you're all together. And I'm not just talking about your franchise. I'm talking about your One City franchise. I'm talking about the whole thing. Once you're a housewife, you have a bond and you're very protective of each other. I always say, I can talk about another housewife, but don't you dare. Don't you do that, you know, And I think that's forever. We really have that sort of bond. And you feel like once a housewife, kind of always a housewife. Which I very proud to say, yeah.
- [08:14]
A
Well, it's a sisterhood.
- [08:15]
B
It's a sisterhood. It really is. I say to people, my generation, anyway, it took so much just to even sit at the table of this whole world that we're living in, that it's so great that this franchise sort of has shown women courage and strength and being able to run businesses and have children and go through transitions and only get stronger. And by the way, raised in front of the camera, some very successful children.
- [08:43]
A
Well, I think that, too. I also think that. I think the women on the show are not given enough credit for the bravery of being on the show in the first place, because I think people dismiss it as an act of vanity or chasing fame. I think it's really hard to do.
- [08:58]
B
Well, yeah, we talked about that last night. I said it on stage in D.C. the other night. I said before, because it was Karen Huger, myself, Melissa Gorga, and Lisa Barlow. And before I left the stage, I said, I just want to say that to the audience. These women are brave. We literally go out there, we give you the good, the bad, the ugly, the sad. And if you're a good housewife, you give them all the ingredients to the cake, and they decide what to do with it. Right. And it takes a lot of courage to do that. Sometimes they love it. Sometimes they hate you. And you just have to be. You've got to be ready to hand it over when you're done. After that, three or four months of filming, you hand it to others.
- [09:39]
A
So tell me about your first season on the show. So you talked a little bit about your indoctrination into it, but what happened? What was it like? How did it change your life?
- [09:47]
B
You know, I. You never. Fame is a really funny thing, right? And you really don't. I never went on it for the fame and stuff. I went on it because I was sort of a little bit of a toothpick in an ocean, kind of lost. You know, I'm like, wait a second. I'm not a mother anymore. I'm not a wife anymore. I remember the first morning. They. Back then, they don't do it so much now, but back then, it was very secretive. Like, you weren't allowed to tell anybody you were on the show. You weren't allowed to post pictures. And the transition was literally in a day. I remember every morning, I do two things. I still do it. I go get a coffee at Eli's, and I stop at the fruit stand and get a piece of fruit. And I've known the fruit guy there, who's now 194, is still there, okay? And I remember I went to get my coffee, and I had on my pajama bottoms and a big sweatshirt because I just run in and run out because my neighborhood in New York is like my neighborhood. And I went to the fruit stand, and I'm talking to this person goes, oh, my God. Are you Dorinda Methi? I'm like, yes, I am. How do I. And then I realized they don't know me from the Upper east side. They don't know me from meeting me at somewhere. They know me now as a housewife. And it was so funny. It was like a veil lifted. It's like the first time you sleep with someone, you know, you sleep with them, you're like, okay, now I'm different. Like. Like, I slept with Bravo. Here I am. Right? And it really did change everything. It changed it for me the better, because you started to realize very quickly, especially once the show aired, that people really get vested in you, and you really have this ability to have a voice for many women and men and people that don't have a voice. And I just thought it was such an amazing platform, because, like it or not, I consider myself a very strong and intelligent woman. But, you know, I come from an era where, you know, you got married, you had children. I was married to powerful men. You were a great partner.
- [11:48]
A
It wasn't about you.
- [11:49]
B
It wasn't about you. My mother used to always say, there can only be one peacock in the room. And I was like, okay, I'll let my husband be the peacock. You know, not. Not that I couldn't have been, but that's how I transitioned from Great Barrington, Massachusetts, to going forward, working, you know, and to all of a sudden see that. You know, the power of television. It happens like this. I think the bigger question is, what is it like the first time you get. You really get criticized and taken down. That's the hard part.
- [12:21]
A
Well, what. So what?
- [12:22]
B
The praise is easy. The takedown is hard.
- [12:25]
A
Really hard. Well, and usually it comes after the praise, too.
- [12:28]
B
Yes.
- [12:28]
A
Which is just sort of the natural arc of things.
- [12:31]
B
Well, no one teaches you to. No one. It's like being pregnant. No one really tells you that you're gonna get spots all over your belly button or that you're gonna do this or think strange things are gonna happen. You're like, what's going on?
- [12:40]
A
Yeah.
- [12:41]
B
You know, it's all a big secret. And then you kind of have to go through that learning curve. Of course, at first, when you're first on all the praise, you're like, wait a second. I think I'm famous. I might be just somebody. You know what I mean? You can't help yourself. It's human nature. And anyone that tell, if that doesn't happen, I think is life.
- [12:58]
A
Of course it does.
- [12:59]
B
Okay. And, you know, you start to tweak A little bit. You're like, wait a second, why do I look like that? You know, you start to get your hair cut and lighten it up and thin it down and the clothes get a little, you know, tighter and nicer. That's human nature. But then no one tells you that as they build you up the mountain, you always got to go back down the mountain. And the down part is where you really have to buckle up.
- [13:22]
A
Do you remember when the criticism first hit you really personally? Do you remember what it was and how you went through it?
- [13:32]
B
Oh, God, there probably was so much. I can't even remember all of them. It was definitely. I don't know if it was the first season. I just think that people. I don't remember specifically, but I'm sure people will remember and they'll be able to count them off in droves.
- [13:46]
A
They'll let us know.
- [13:47]
B
So DM me, it's just that I found it fascinating that people really just take everything so literally. So what, it becomes a blanket for your one bad mistake becomes a blanket for your whole life?
- [14:01]
A
Well, the insane thing too is that on the one hand people take it completely literally and they don't think of it as a show. And on the other hand, they say this is all fake. Yeah, it's all.
- [14:10]
B
Well, that's it. And it's a common. It's not never fake. And I have to say that we were never scripted. We were literally. The great thing about New York, and I've only filmed with Jersey, cause I'm a bit of a crossover with Jersey a lot, is that New York was one of these things. They'd put our mics on in the morning and they would have to rip them off at night. Like we would keep them on 247 because we're such an interactive. But we were never told, directed, scripted, nothing. We just kind of put those mics on and if we were in bed brushing our teeth, those mics were with us and we just ran with it. But I think that, you know, you kind of have to just roll with it, don't you? And maybe I even dare to say it helps you to become a bit more self reflective. But also two for the good or the bad of it, you become a little bit more protective of yourself. You know what you once were very much like, go with the flow, you know, just let it roll. You can get a little bit more. You get a protective seal on you, you know, once bitten, twice shy.
- [15:09]
A
Well, I always say too, when I'm talking to talent that is about to make a show for the first time, you say one of the central rules is you have to think out loud. So you have to say whatever is on your mind. And in polite company, you don't do that because that's deemed rude, you know, and you do what. What any decent human being does, and you wait until after the dinner party to talk about how terrible the food was.
- [15:34]
B
Well, you know, we grow. Grew up with that book. Everything I learned in kindergarten, you know, you take that book and throw it away. You take everything you learned in kindergarten and throw it out the door and do all the opposite. If you don't like it, you say it. If you have a secret, you tell it. You know, you share, you share, share, share. And you're right, you have to be thinking out loud all the time. I'm not going to particularly, you know, have someone walk into a room and be like, that dress looks horrible. Why would you wear that? I may think it and I may talk about it when I have a couple drinks to my friend in the corner, like, she just looks terrible, you know, but now you're just saying it all. But it takes, again, a certain woman to be able to. It takes a certain type of women to be able to do that with each other. I always say, Alex, when people say, what do you like in Housewives too? I say, it's like being part of the NFL. You go into spring training, you get on the field, you beat each other up, you do your best, you get off the field, you pat each other's ass, and then you have dinner together at night, and off we go to the next game. And that's what makes a good housewife. I think we've seen it in some of the franchise when they can't move forward from it. That's when not only the cast gets frustrated, but the audience gets frustrated.
- [16:46]
A
Yeah, well, once it turns into Survivor and there are teams, then it is an interesting. And I always say too, like, you know, you take the good with the bad. But I still think that it's at its best when it's real, which sometimes means it's tough or confrontational, but everyone still can come together resolution. That's right. After the reunion, you know, go have dinner together.
- [17:05]
B
That's it. Or take a minute and then, yeah, you know, have to remember this is a. You got to think macroly about that. We have a group of women that the audience loves to see and wants to see us together. I always, and I may be wrong because I'm not a producer, but, you know, they want to see us come together. That they will be incredibly forgiving if they see you guys come back together.
- [17:29]
A
No one ever believes me or casts don't believe me when I say that we actually want them to have fun as well. And everyone thinks that's code for don't really have fun. It's not.
- [17:40]
B
No, no, you have, you do. You definitely do. And that's why I think it was very hard for the audience when New Jersey didn't have a reunion. I think they should have had a reunion because I think it's hard when we don't. We can't see that. That's the. I say it's like this. It kind of goes up and then goes. And then that's the period on the reunion's the period on the thing. I mean, I don't know, the inner workings.
- [17:59]
A
It's hard though, because somet. You can't even do that. It's really hard to get people in the same room.
- [18:04]
B
But don't you feel like it's open ended now? Because that thing they did at the end just took the two sides and just put them in two rooms and then they just kind of festered with each other.
- [18:13]
A
Right. And rehashed. Yeah.
- [18:14]
B
Whereas it would have been nice. But I understand that, you know, we saw it last season, I guess so I'm not. I can't say. But I do think the reunion is always a beautiful way to tie the bow up.
- [18:24]
A
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I've always thought that. I've always wanted everyone to be able to move forward. And the idea genuinely of the reunion is not just to pick its gabs, but the idea is to be able to move on. And you're right, it doesn't always happen immediately, but you should be able to move forward.
- [18:39]
B
I never dreaded the reunions. I always thought it was, you know, because we go in three parts, we film it.
- [18:44]
A
Yeah.
- [18:44]
B
So then you walk away and you think, oh, my God, thank God that's over. Now I can just be a normal person. Right. And then it's, you know, two, three months later, you start to do promo and they say it. Then you get mad all over again.
- [18:56]
A
Right.
- [18:56]
B
You're like, what? That's not how it goes. And then you kind of get through that and then you have like a month off and then you have, oh, no. Then you're in the midst of filming and then they do the reunion halfway through filming or about halfway through. So then you're mad again. So by the third time mad. You kind of like, now I'm just tired. Like, can't we just get to next season?
- [19:17]
A
And at that point, you finally let it go.
- [19:19]
B
Yeah, you let it go. You take your best memes, and you make a great mug, and you sell $100,000 worth of mugs, and you keep the train moving.
- [19:25]
A
Exactly. Yeah. Keep it moving. Some people are particularly well suited to reunions in particular, which you would be, because you're good on your feet, and you're strong and clear in what you're saying. So you'd probably like that day.
- [19:38]
B
Yeah, well, I think it's. I think the key is you have to listen. Someone once said to me, you gotta, like. It's like when there's a huge windstorm, you can't keep fighting it. You kind of have to just stand still and keep listening to it and figure out. Because if you fight it too much, you just. It's a long game. It's a long day. People don't realize it, but it's. You know, you're there sometimes from beginning to end. 12 hours.
- [20:02]
A
So I want to talk about your relationships across your show and some of the ups and downs with.
- [20:09]
B
Go ahead.
- [20:09]
A
Okay. So we'll start with Ramona.
- [20:13]
B
Yes. Since Ramona, I've known forever. Ramona's been a huge part of my life. Like I said, she pretty much was the reason I came on the show. She was a big pushing factor. And then, you know, when you go on the show, it always changes the dynamic. So we've had our. So and we actually worked everything out after the show ended for, like, I wasn't on the last season, so I didn't really speak to her that whole season. And then when that ended, it kind of gave us some breathing space to really realize that we missed each other. And, you know, because it just came to me one day during COVID I'm like, I can't let a show break our relationship. Our relationship's so much bigger than what the show is. But it's hard when you're in it. You're in it if you're a good housewife. Right. And it seems all consuming. But I still talk to Ramona all the time. Ramona gives me all kinds of advice about dating and how I should be dating more and how Bluestone Manor's, you know, shouldn't. Too much of a commitment. It's not a man, you know, Bluestone Manor. I know you love Bluestone Manor, and I love Bluestone Manor, but you really need to, you know, it's not. You can't date Bluestone Manor. So she is. She would like to see me dating more. I think this is your year. You're gonna focus on dating. Luann and I have morning coffee, chat sort of twice a week, and she's always like, darling, can you have a coffee? I'm like, absolutely. And, you know, Sonya, not so much. I don't talk to Sonya so much, but I think Sonya doesn't really talk to a lot of us so much. She's.
- [21:39]
A
Why do you think that is?
- [21:41]
B
Because I think Sonya really goes into her own world, and I think she's very much goes back into her own thing, and I just don't. You know, you'll text her, and then a month later, you'll hear back from her. It's kind of odd, but those are sort of the main people that I stay in contact with and meet for lunch. But it's different now because you have to remember when we were in the thick of it, even before Housewives, we all lived within 10 blocks of each other. Now our kids have grown up. You know, we're in and out. Everybody's sort of done very successful things outside of the Housewives, and they're happy. You know, life has sort of taken over, as it should.
- [22:22]
A
Was it fun for you to pick back up on Girls Trip?
- [22:26]
B
I loved it.
- [22:26]
A
Yeah.
- [22:27]
B
I think the thing that I really was great is that after, you know, I was put on pause and I wrote my book Make It Nice, and right after that was finished, they did Ultimate Girls Trip two at Bluestone Manor, which I really thought was an iconic cast, you know, because of Bravo. Bluestone Manor is almost like her own character. So people not only got to revisit all these women, but got to fall back in love with Bluestone Manor. So there was no learning curve in a new place. They were like, oh, my God, these women in this iconic kind of TV house. People really think I didn't own the house before Bravo. Somehow they think that Bravo created this house.
- [23:06]
A
Oh, really?
- [23:07]
B
Yes.
- [23:08]
A
That's so funny.
- [23:08]
B
I'm like, I owned it for a long time, time before that, because, you know, I've owned the house for 20 years now.
- [23:12]
A
You said it was a wedding gift.
- [23:14]
B
Yes. So when I married Richard. So the house was built in 1902, and I grew up in the Berkshires, and my father used to take me for lunch once a month, and we would go. My great grandfather helped build that house. He was a mason, and they brought him over from Italy to help build these iconic, like, they used to call them Berkshire Cottages. I used to Say to my dad all the time, one day, I'm gonna own that house. I'm gonna own it, and you and mom are gonna live here. I'm never gonna get married. We're just gonna live here, and I'll never leave you. And about four months before I married Richard, he said, you always talk about this house. Whenever we go to the Berkshires, you make me, you know, sneak up the driveway. So I bought it for you as a wedding gift. So, yeah, so it was so funny because when he passed and we did his estate, which you have to do, obviously, and they did all the assets, it didn't fall into our assets because we weren't married when he bought it. Weird to me, almost forward thinking in a weird way. Like, did he know something? You know, I knew it would work if I divorced him, right? I didn't know it would work in this way. I figured it out how it would work if I divorced him. I'm like, well, if I divorce you, I'm going to own that house. He's like, well, okay, fine. That's. Don't think I didn't know that. You know, it's so funny. So, yeah, so I own the house. It was always a dream. And I always. I felt. I still feel connected to it. And all my uncles that are, because I'm Italian and Polish, you go down in the basement, they all left little clues because masons tend to leave clues. A sunflower across.
- [24:46]
A
That's really cool.
- [24:47]
B
So the Caligari's, the Magadinis, the, you know, all of them, they're down in my basement taking care of me all the time.
- [24:53]
A
So you're very connected to the place in every sense.
- [24:56]
B
Yes, I am. Yeah. According to Ramona, a little too connected.
- [24:59]
A
But, oh, my God, I love that.
- [25:01]
B
I just think it brings joy. Like I told you, I going up to decorate on Wednesday. I believe in magic, and I think that's what I try to do at Bluestone Manor is just create a little magic. Create a little thing about, like, home and what life used to be. And, you know, I let them come into my life a little bit.
- [25:21]
A
So how much time do you spend there versus the city?
- [25:25]
B
You know, it just depends. In the summers, I spend a lot more time there, obviously. Cause it's summer and in the, you know, when everything kind of heats up. I go back and forth to the city during the fall. But I'll go up now for like a month. I pretty much try to. The tough months in the Berkshires are January, February, March, because it's dark and it's cold and it's. The city is such a great place to be during that time. It just depends on what I'm doing, you know, it's not that far. It's a little over two hours. My parents are still alive and down the road, so I. I definitely try to get up there a lot for them. And my. You know, they're like. My father's is like, the proudest poker. You know, he plays poker, and I'm the biggest topic. My daughter, Dorinda Sincala, lives on the hill because I'm always doing this.
- [26:10]
A
Oh, my God. Yeah. Of course he's proud you made it.
- [26:12]
B
You know, and I always think to myself, you know, when they are no longer here with us, I. That will probably change again. I never thought I'd have the house for 20 years. It. Just because of the show and because of.
- [26:24]
A
Of.
- [26:24]
B
It's become kind of a brand in itself. And because of my parents, it kind of keeps me there.
- [26:30]
A
Who is banned from Bluestone Manor?
- [26:32]
B
Anybody that speaks poorly of Bluestone Manor is banned.
- [26:35]
A
That's the first rule of Bluestone Manor.
- [26:36]
B
You cannot. It's not the rules. I mean, you know, I had all those rules.
- [26:39]
A
I know.
- [26:40]
B
That's okay. You can break a rule, but you can't speak poorly of Bluestone Manor. And I think Vicki spoke very poorly.
- [26:47]
A
Of Bluestone Manor, so she's not.
- [26:48]
B
No, she. And I don't think she ever wants to come back either. It's mutual, which is fine. And I think probably Jill didn't speak very nicely of Bluestone Manor, so she's not coming back either.
- [26:58]
A
Forbidden.
- [26:58]
B
Forbidden. You can't. I will not open the gates for those two.
- [27:02]
A
She won't have it.
- [27:04]
B
I'll send down the dogs.
- [27:07]
A
And then. What was Legacy like?
- [27:10]
B
Legacy was great because all I had to do was show up.
- [27:13]
A
Yeah.
- [27:13]
B
In St. Barth's at a beautiful house. And I swear to God, this is so true. From the time we all got to the airport, it was as if we were never not together. The antics just started, and it just was easy and fun and so great to wake up with other girls and film with them. We're very rhythmic with each other and we understand what we're doing. You know what I mean? So it just was. I thought it was amazing.
- [27:41]
A
Yeah.
- [27:41]
B
I really enjoyed it. And it's great because it's such a different thing because, you know, it's only eight days.
- [27:47]
A
Right.
- [27:48]
B
So you don't have to get so invested that, you know, you're pulling your hair out you go. You hit it hard for seven nights, eight days, you film like a maniac, and then back home you go.
- [27:59]
A
And then you need a vacation from your vacation because it's a lot.
- [28:02]
B
But I didn't feel that way coming back from St. Barts. I felt. I really didn't. I felt very energized. Yeah, we really. I don't know if we were just so excited to all be back together and excited to have the audience see us back together. That and also, too, as you know, you never know if this is the last time we're all gonna be together. So you have to really cherish it and take it on that everybody there was just so happy. It was really like an incredible vacation being filmed.
- [28:31]
A
I wanna talk about going on pause, like you said, since you were the originator of that term.
- [28:39]
B
I sure was. I think it was Andy's gentle way of letting me.
- [28:43]
A
Yeah. Well. Although I think he meant it, because those are hard con.
- [28:48]
B
Yes.
- [28:49]
A
But I think there are times when it feels final and there are times when it seems like a break makes sense. And, you know, so I think it was. I think it was genuine.
- [28:58]
B
Correct? Yes. And listen, I always find it funny when people are like, I can't believe you tell everybody you want to go back. You're so thirsty. I'm like, I never said I didn't want to go back. I never said I wanted to leave. So I'm very honest about those things. And I always think people are fibbing when they say, oh, I'll never go back, or, I left on my own. It's like.
- [29:17]
A
I think it's a prideful response. I think it's an emotional response.
- [29:21]
B
But what's the big deal? Why can't you just say you love it and you want to come back?
- [29:26]
A
I don't know what's shameful about that. Yeah. You know, what's interesting is that I found that in doing these shows that people who've been in this business before, actually, by and large, take it easier when you have those conversations because they know what it's like and they know that things come and go and then come again. So, like, actresses have understood it to me.
- [29:47]
B
Yes.
- [29:48]
A
More than others.
- [29:49]
B
Well. And I also think, you know, when you're a little bit more seasoned and stuff, I have just learned and accepted that everything, every everything has a beginning and a middle and an end. And if you don't transition with that in life, that's where I think sometimes people get in trouble because you have to keep. You have to stay Mobile. You have to be malleable. You have to move with things. And every time I've transitioned, even in the worst of things that I've had to do, you know, in my life, it's brought by being open to it. It's brought so many different things that I always say for the good or the bad of it. I don't know if Richard Medley would know Dorinda Medley anymore if he met me today, and he'd probably be incredibly proud of me. But I transitioned into a totally different woman than the woman that, you know, used to lay his suit out every morning and make sure he had the most beautiful Hermes towel, you know, tie to wear to, and was all about family and just focusing on that, which was an incredible time in my life, and I loved every minute of it. But, you know, I'm a very different woman today.
- [30:54]
A
But I think it goes back to what we were saying, where I think that seasoned women have made great housewives. I think having been through more in your life, I think makes you more able to be open, and I think you have more to offer, and I think you have a different perspective on all of it.
- [31:09]
B
100%. I think that's true. And, you know, I just. You have to be very thankful and not resistant. You know, I always say, don't be resistant. You have to keep climbing the mountain. You know, you just gotta keep climbing. Even if you had to slow down for a little bit and crawl a couple days or maybe stay a little too long at one camp, you gotta keep crawling, and you will get to the top. It may not look like you thought it was gonna look like, but it always kind of works out.
- [31:34]
A
Yeah.
- [31:34]
B
You know what I mean?
- [31:35]
A
No, you have to keep going. Well, so you were caught off guard then.
- [31:40]
B
Hugely.
- [31:41]
A
Yeah.
- [31:41]
B
Because I'll be honest with you, and I'll say this, and I don't care. I thought I was a great housewife. I'm like, oh. I'm like, you know? Cause you get. I'm a good housewife, you know? So it was hugely surprising to me and heartbreaking. I cried my eyes out. And then, you know, on I went. But I got the call, and I could hear that. It was difficult for them to tell me, but, you know, the phone call wasn't long. It wasn't belabored. I was kind of like, you know what? I'm good. I built the cake. I gave you the frosting. I'll go back and mix up some confectioner's sugar and water and put a new frosting on this cake. We'll figure it out. Call me when you need me. Call me when you want me. Thank you so much. But it wasn't a huge engaged crying. I cried when I got off the phone, but I was like, okay, what are you gonna do? I called to my mother afterwards. I was like, mom, I changed my dinner.
- [32:39]
A
You know, those conversations.
- [32:40]
B
I loved it. You know, I really enjoyed it.
- [32:42]
A
It became a big part of your life.
- [32:43]
B
Correct.
- [32:45]
A
So it's hard. It's hard.
- [32:46]
B
But then I was lucky for a couple reasons, because, A, we were going into a very difficult time in the world, or I think we were already in it. B, I had always wanted to. Simon Schuster always was at me to write this book, which I never had time. C, I got to go back and sort of spend Covid at Bluestone Manor next to my parents and have Hannah be home. And I just kind of worked on my book and kind of dug in. So we were all in a bit of silence at that point in the world. So if you were going to take a pause, it was the most beautiful time. So I could lean into being at home, being a mom, being with my parents, writing a book, working on my branding, thinking about thinking out of the BO again and just leaning into that.
- [33:33]
A
Yeah.
- [33:34]
B
So it was almost like people barely. They knew, but they didn't know.
- [33:37]
A
Right, right. And then in the end, cosmically, it makes sense.
- [33:40]
B
It was the best thing that ever happened. And they never listen. People think about me on pause. Six months later, they offered me ultimate girls trip. It wasn't that long. Yeah.
- [33:49]
A
Yeah.
- [33:49]
B
Well.
- [33:50]
A
And that goes back to, again, the fact that the pause legitimately was just that.
- [33:54]
B
Yeah. And they. The great thing, too, about, you know, Peacock, NBC, Bravo, all the different pieces, they stay in contact with you. Like, you know, you're always kind of touching base with them at some level.
- [34:06]
A
You're in the family.
- [34:07]
B
Yeah. You're in the family. You feel like you're in the fold somehow. You know, it's not. I don't know how it is in other industries, but there, you know, you do stay kind of in contact with everybody.
- [34:18]
A
Do you watch the new Roni?
- [34:21]
B
I just watched the first episode last week. Here we go. Go ahead.
- [34:27]
A
What do you think?
- [34:30]
B
I mean, listen, I have a different feeling. I know there's a lot of maybe other cast members that feel like it's them. It was them or us. I don't. I think they made an executive decision to, you know, get rid of one and replace it with the other. Huge decision. Right. I personally Think that was a tremendous jump. And it was tricky because, you know, we have such deeply loyal, committed fans that grew up with these women that I think it was a lot for them to all of a sudden say, now you see them, now you don't, and present these new girls who are beautiful and talented and really the new New York.
- [35:07]
A
Yeah.
- [35:07]
B
I mean, New York is that now. They're not our generation. Our generation, that's a world that really doesn't exist. And people need to know that woman, how she. How does she raise children, where she work, what's the dynamics of their life in New York. New York's a different place now than it was when we were raising children in New York. Like it or not, the crown is heavy. Right. Of the old New York girls. And I think the transition has. It's taken a minute because East Coast, west coast, they get it. Cause they're more hip. But there's a lot of people in middle America that still can't quite let go of the old girls. It doesn't matter. It's not a matter of them being good, us being better, us being worse, them being good. It's just. Change is hard for the audience, period. And I think the second season, they've come back. You can tell they're no longer newbies, and they know what they're doing and, you know, give them their props. Let the games begin. I think I. It's interesting because they just look so young to me. You know what I mean? So it's such a. And they're so much more glamorous than we were ever. We just weren't that glamorous in that way. You know, half the time we were filming in our apartments and we really didn't get hair and makeup and all that. So it's totally a different game.
- [36:16]
A
That's different, though, anyway, because even on shows that have been around for a long time, or housewives have been around for a long time, never had glamour before, had glam before.
- [36:26]
B
We would only get glamour for cast parties. And we really weren't even like. Like, now these girls have stylists and PRs and teams and stuff. People would call up and say, who should I talk?
- [36:36]
A
Yeah.
- [36:37]
B
I'm like, well, you're talking to her. You know what I mean?
- [36:39]
A
That's your team.
- [36:40]
B
If I was going to a cast thing, I'd go to my closet and take out a dress. You know what I mean? There was no one to come, but it was just.
- [36:46]
A
Kyle would always make fun of that because someone would accuse her of Something coming from her camp. She's like, there's no fucking camp.
- [36:53]
B
There's no camp. There's me now. I have Ryan. They're like, can I talk to your team? I'm like, yeah, I have team. His name's Ryan.
- [36:59]
A
This is my team.
- [37:01]
B
So it's just, you know, I think that we have to give him a minute, and let's see how it goes. But reality tv, I'm not an expert in it, so I'm only speaking from my observations. I just think it's different now with the streaming, with the everything. There's a lot to take on, and I think maybe it's just a little different than it was when I was on.
- [37:23]
A
Yeah, well, it's a more.
- [37:24]
B
And I could be wrong, and I could be right. So I don't think it's a matter of. What do you think? I think that these girls have a lot to follow up on.
- [37:33]
A
Yeah. Big shoes.
- [37:35]
B
The crown is heavy.
- [37:36]
A
Yeah.
- [37:37]
B
But I like them. I've met most of them. I've met Aaron, who I think is a great house. She's a real new.
- [37:42]
A
I love Erin.
- [37:42]
B
Yeah. And I've met Brynn, and I. Uba's hysterically funny. And I met Jessel a little bit at Bravo Con. I know her less. Jenna Lyons. She's been kicking around New York for years. So, you know.
- [37:55]
A
So, yeah, it's just very different.
- [37:57]
B
It's just different.
- [37:58]
A
And the other.
- [37:59]
B
It's like saying, do you like the beach or you like skiing?
- [38:01]
A
Right.
- [38:01]
B
You know what I mean?
- [38:02]
A
Yeah.
- [38:03]
B
I mean, not that it's that different, but you know what I'm saying, you just. You can't. It's just a different thing now.
- [38:08]
A
Yeah. A lot of change over the past few years.
- [38:10]
B
A lot of change. The girls that, you know, they've all. Luann's, you know, a cabaret person. Now Ramon is out there in West Palm Beach. God, I'm gonna get in troubles out there in Palm beach and New York. And, you know, these women are survivors.
- [38:26]
A
Do you talk to Carol?
- [38:27]
B
Carol, I do. Carol, I love. Carol's great. Carol's doing. Carol's a fantastic person, you know, and she. I thought she was a great housewife.
- [38:36]
A
No, she was a great housewife.
- [38:37]
B
Yeah. Cause you know what it is? I always say a cast is like baking a cake. All the ingredients are important. Some, you know, some ingredients are a little stronger than the other, like the flour. But you can't make the cake without the eggs. And, of course, you need the baking soda. And then, you know, you need so it's not that. When you. It's not that. Oh, you're better. This one's. You always have the anchor characters. Yeah, you don't. And. But you need all the ingredients. And Carol was a definite strong ingredient to me.
- [39:03]
A
Yes.
- [39:04]
B
She was so different than the rest of us. So we are always at those events and hotel openings together and things.
- [39:10]
A
That's very cool. How's Hannah doing?
- [39:12]
B
Hannah is doing great. She hates when I talk about her, so gotta be very careful.
- [39:18]
A
So tell me more.
- [39:19]
B
We don't wanna get called. She's doing great. But, you know, to Hannah, I'm just Mom.
- [39:24]
A
Yeah.
- [39:25]
B
I mean, there's no mentioning housewives to Hannah. I am.
- [39:29]
A
You were telling me, though, which I love, that she agreed to film with you once per season.
- [39:34]
B
Once per season. And it drove poor JP Crazy, because it was like trying to, you know. Trying to pin down water. Yeah. But then she would come on for this one time a season, and it would be incredibly impactful and incredibly correct. Cause no one knows me like my daughter. And my daughter's a Capricorn and I'm a Sagittari. Capricorns are more like earthy mothers. And I'm like, the one that's always got the. I always say, hannah's the mapmaker and I'm the warrior, you know? So she's really good at bringing me back to the map and saying mom, you know? So she would come on once a year and give her opinion, make it count. Off she went. I remember the one year she became when she called John a Slav kebab.
- [40:22]
A
Was he pissed?
- [40:24]
B
Probably. That's a good thing about Hannah. She says it and she just drops the mic and keeps it moving. But she's good. She's happy. Thank God.
- [40:33]
A
So you were saying that Ramona is accusing you of.
- [40:38]
B
Not accusing. Okay, let's.
- [40:40]
A
She sings with love. But that Bluestone Manor is.
- [40:43]
B
I gotta get a man.
- [40:44]
A
Your boyfriend?
- [40:44]
B
If you need a man, I need a man. She wants me out there dating. Listen, I've tried, I have to say. And if they're out there, take care of her. For some reason, I can't get on Raya. I've been waitlisted on Raya. Everybody I know. In fact, the waitress we dealt with last night, or waiter, was on Raya. I mean, Ramona Luann. Andy Cohen recommended me for Raya. I'm stuck in some glitch. But listen, I'm a horrible dater. I'm a horrible dater.
- [41:12]
A
How so?
- [41:14]
B
You know, I'm so Contentment is a wonderful thing, but also it makes you a bit lazy. Like, I just have a very full life with my friends and my little projects and my house and my family. Mona's right. It came out and just New York City. And, you know, I think that one of the most incredible. Absolutely. And I finally took this on about a year ago. One of the most incredible gifts a woman can give to herself. It's the. At the end of the day, it's not about the jewels and the houses and this and that. It's freedom. Like, you know, I have always been obligated to someone. Not obligated, because that's a strong word, but aware and committed. Like, either to making my parents, you know, happy. My husband's being hugely, you know, the best mother and wife and committed to all that. Hannah. Work. I just one morning woke up and say. I said, I have real free. Like, I don't really answer to really anybody anymore fully. And I've really. And I've never had that, you know, spiritual, physical, financial, you know, not that I'm some hugely rich person, but enough that, like, I can do what I want to do. And because I didn't grow up with really any money, and I had to create my own opportunities, it's the first time that I really. Someone calls me over and says, hey, do you want to go to, you know, come to Bahamas this week? And I'm like, sure, why not? Or you want to do X? It really is. Sure, why not. So I think a little bit of that has kept me from being successful at dating. I like to date. I think it's fun. But they kind of lose me when they start this whole thing. Like, what are you doing this weekend? I'm like, well, that's none of your business. Okay, let's not. Let's not start with all that now.
- [43:02]
A
It's a very personal question.
- [43:04]
B
Just come on now. I mean, so. And it's bad because I think it's like, anything. If you're not doing it, you get very content.
- [43:11]
A
I also don't see you having a lot of patience for bad days.
- [43:15]
B
No, I don't, and I don't. And I'm at a position where, like, it would take a lot to impress me. You know, I was married to two very impressive men. I've had a wonderful life, which I find for myself impressive. I got the bags, I got the houses, I got the. Like, what are you bringing to the table now? Like what? Like, I consider myself quite an intelligent person. My husbands were very intelligent. Like, what are you bringing to the table here? I don't want to have babies anymore. Clearly, if I did, that would be a show in itself. So it takes a lot to sit with Dorinda Methley. And I know that's not a positive. I understand it. And sometimes I'll go on a date. I swear to God this is true. And I think, should I take something so I don't act too much like myself? Should I take a little Xanax so I'm a little bit calmer? Because literally, someone will be like, well, I think I'm like, well, don't think.
- [44:08]
A
Okay, housewives moment.
- [44:14]
B
So I have to work on that. And I have to. I think today Ramona's very good at it. She commits to it, like a job. She does it two, three. She used to. Now she's in a very committed relationship. But I just have to. First of all, I have to be static and be more in one place. I think there's someone out there. You know, I'm going to make a prediction. I think somewhere about 63, you're going to see me. I've envisioned that you're gonna see me settle down again.
- [44:37]
A
Oh, interesting.
- [44:38]
B
I really do.
- [44:40]
A
You're known for some of the most iconic quotes in the history of the Real Housewives. And so we're gonna cover those right now. I'm gonna ask you about them. First one, how am I doing? Not well, bitch.
- [44:53]
B
That's actually not right. It's like, I'll tell you how I'm doing. Not well, bitch. And that's Candace Bushnell in there.
- [45:01]
A
I know.
- [45:02]
B
And we're in the Hamptons, and Sonya had been driving me crazy for months about this skinny girl that I'm not Skinny Girl. Tipsy Girl. I was doing Tipsy Girl. I'm trying to take Tipsy Girl. And she was running with these scenarios of how I didn't even. Was never engaged in Tipsy Girl. And I once again tried to engage her in the Hamptons. I was going to be calm, cool, and collected and have a calm, cool, and collected conversation with her. And when she went off the rails about Tipsy Girl again, Candace said to me, hey, is everything okay? And I was like, I'll tell you how I'm doing. Not well, bitch. Now, meanwhile, I didn't even take it in that it was to Candace Bushnell, because I've known Candace for years. So of course, the statement became iconic. But the fact that I was saying it to the creator of Sex and.
- [45:47]
A
The City, even more so.
- [45:49]
B
Yes. And I Am not lying to you. I did 155,800. No, no. $150,000 worth of mugs during the pandemic. This said not well.
- [45:58]
A
Really.
- [46:00]
B
I couldn't make them fast enough. It became the word of COVID Oh.
- [46:05]
A
My God, I love that.
- [46:06]
B
And, yes, people still say it to me all the time.
- [46:09]
A
That's so great.
- [46:10]
B
They get very excited about saying it to me. They're like, hey, can I tell you something? I tell you how I'm doing that well?
- [46:18]
A
Come up to you on the street and say that? Yeah. Okay.
- [46:21]
B
All right, let me guess. I cooked, I cleaned, I decorated, I made it nice. If you can't behave yourself, you can all go home. That was real. That was the first. My first season, I think, wasn't it? And I had worked so hard not really understanding what it was like to have these girls up at the house. I'd worked so hard to cook, to clean, to decorate, to make it nice. To make it nice. And they came up and. And it wasn't the usual acknowledgement of how I run Bluestone Manor. And no one was appreciative. And I'd gone up there for three days before, while filming, to do all this, to make it perfect. And they all came up, and no one was happy. And the thing. The reason why this quote came up is because the final thing was my mother every year makes me the same birthday cake. I think Luann said something about my mother's birthday cake, and all bets were off.
- [47:20]
A
You just lost it.
- [47:22]
B
I was like, you can talk about my house and you can talk about my decorations, but you cannot talk about my mother's birthday cake. At that point, I'm just exhausted. Of course, I started drinking before they even came up because I'm so nervous about them coming up. You know, like Tamara says, liquid courage. That by the time they got there, it was just. I was exhausted.
- [47:43]
A
You were? Yeah. And just activated right away.
- [47:45]
B
And, yes, that one is the number one one that people. I was in London thinking, okay, because I lived in London 10 years, so when I go back to London, I feel like I'm more back to my old London life. Right? And I'm coming out of the Barclay Hotel and literally a black cab's passing me, and someone rolled down the window and said, I make it noise. I was like, really? Even here?
- [48:08]
A
Worldwide. Okay, so can you guess the last iconic quote?
- [48:13]
B
Yes, I can. I know it's probably not a recent one, because the one. Although that one, I think is great, I would guess, because everybody loves it. Clip, clip, clip. You fool. Remember the you fool part again to Sonia. And all I remember on that day is that we had filmed very late the night before. I had then decided to go out with a bunch. Because, you know, we used to be. I mean, we. I don't know what we were thinking, but we would film until 11 o'clock and then go out, like, rip our bikes off and all go out all over New York. Cause we're New Yorkers, we don't know when to stop. And that we had to be in the Bronx the next day at this luncheon that Bethany was doing. And all I remember is Sonya started again with this tipsy girl. And I was like, okay, I'm done. I'm hungover. I'm fed up, and I don't want to. So I just. And I remember looking over and seeing Bethany Frank peeing herself with laughter. Like, it was just. And I really meant it. And I literally left after that. I was like, I'm going home. I'm done with this. And Bethy's like, well, I think you got it with the clip thing. But I. But the amazing thing is, I know people don't believe this. They think we all. Like when I said, eagles don't fly with pigeons and legacy. It's not like you're sitting around writing that or you're thinking about it, because we don't know what's going to happen in a scene. So these things are so organic. And even when you say it, you have. It's not like you leave the scene and you're like, oh, my God, that's gonna be a T shirt. Or people are gonna do memes about that. You really don't. Cause you're in the moment. It's not until six months later, when it's on every drag show in New York City, right, where people are doing endless memes that you're like, oh, like, that's kind of catchy, right? That was amazing. It's the audience that brings it to life.
- [50:02]
A
It's true.
- [50:03]
B
Right?
- [50:04]
A
And also to your point, when people try to script those lines, it doesn't land. It's not the inspiration that it is when something just flies out of your mouth.
- [50:11]
B
And I'm very good at sort of quipping. I've always been. Even off the. You know, I've always been good. I think it's kind of the British side of me from living in London for 10 years. I'm very quick with that kind of stuff. But I never, never once walked away and thought, oh, this is gonna be huge.
- [50:27]
A
Right. I'm gonna sell a T shirt tonight. Yeah.
- [50:29]
B
You know, some person's gonna be performing at 11 o'clock downtown in a small club, you know.
- [50:35]
A
Oh, my God. Well, and that's just three of your greatest hits, so. Yeah.
- [50:40]
B
Hopefully there's more.
- [50:42]
A
Oh, I have no doubt.
- [50:43]
B
Hopefully they'll keep coming.
- [50:44]
A
No question about that. Thank you. Well, I very much hope that you find the right gentleman to bring home to Bluestone Manor.
- [50:52]
B
Yes. And help me with the bills and the landscaping.
- [50:58]
A
Dorinda Bedley, you are one of one. Thank you for joining me on Bravo's hot mic. For more of my conversation, go to Bravo tv dot com.
- [51:07]
B
I ended up crashing two big influencers to party. I walked away with about five grand worth of stuff. I'm like, okay, now this sound like I could do.