Breaking the Rules: A Clinician's Guide to Treating OCD

Episode: Peer-to-peer: A Frank Conversation about OCD (Part One)

Hosts: Dr. Celin Gelgec & Dr. Victoria Miller

Guest: Chrissy Hodges (OCD Advocate and Peer Support Specialist)

Date: February 3, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features an in-depth, personal conversation with Chrissy Hodges, a leading OCD peer advocate and peer support specialist. The hosts, Dr. Celin Gelgec and Dr. Victoria (Tori) Miller, invite Chrissy to share her lived experience with OCD, how it shaped her early life, struggles with religious scrupulosity, emetophobia, and sexual orientation OCD, and her journey to advocacy and peer support. The discussion provides clinicians with unique insight into the inner world of someone living with OCD, aiming to foster empathy, understanding, and greater confidence in supporting clients beyond conventional clinical models.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chrissy's Introduction and Background

• Introduction to Chrissy Hodges (00:44-02:07)
  • Chrissy is a globally recognized OCD advocate, author, and founder of peer-led initiatives such as OCD Game Changers and Peer Recovery Services.
  • She has used her lived experience to fuel a career in advocacy, public speaking, and direct peer support.

2. The Onset of OCD and Early Coping (04:05–08:08)

• First Intrusive Thought & Panic Attack (04:13)
  • Chrissy recounts her first significant panic attack at age 8, triggered by witnessing a classmate vomit—a classic case of emetophobia developing in childhood.
  • “It was this one day where everything just broke for me. I was 8 years old in third grade. Someone had gotten sick in my class… I was paralyzed and I couldn’t move.” – Chrissy (04:27)
• Compulsions and Secrecy Initiated
  • Resorting to prayer rituals and mental reviews in an effort to appease her religious worldview.
  • “Religion was my worldview growing up in the south here in America, and my dad is a retired Southern minister, so everything I knew was religion.” – Chrissy (04:41)
• The Shame and Burden of Secrecy
  • The decision to keep her experience hidden for fear of not being understood or judged by family.
  • “I just swore to myself I would keep this a secret…” – Chrissy (05:03)

3. The Progression of OCD Themes (08:08–13:11)

• Impact On Childhood and Adolescence
  • Efforts to regulate her surroundings and internal life through rituals.
  • Shift from emetophobia to more taboo intrusive thoughts, including violent, sexual, and religious themes.
  • “The overarching theme of religious scrupulosity always stayed. That was kind of like the main umbrella.” – Chrissy (09:10)
• Emergence of Sexual Orientation OCD
  • Explains how religious rigidity and internal ‘rules’ catalyzed an intense fear of being gay, despite not being anti-gay herself.
  • “It was so confusing to me…in the 90s in the South, like, everybody thought gay people were going to hell. I remember thinking…I don’t care if this is the truth, I just know it’s not.” – Chrissy (11:28)

4. The Impact of OCD on Identity, Achievement, and Connection (13:11–16:42)

• Double Life and Perfectionism
  • Chrissy describes curating a “perfect” exterior (athletics, academics, Homecoming Queen) to hide her internal chaos and attempt to “prove” her goodness.
• Isolation and the Need for Connection
  • “I really felt like I had no connection to anybody…there would never be that deep connection that you really desire from other human beings.” – Chrissy (14:58)
• Reflection on Adolescent Depression
  • Extended periods of “OCD haze,” unrecognized depression, and feelings of hopelessness.

5. The Crisis Point: College, Grief, and Suicidality (16:42–21:06)

• Triggering Factors:
  • The death of a cousin amplifies symptoms and depressive states.
  • The shame, secrecy, and fear prevent Chrissy from seeking help, despite clear signs of mental health crisis.
• Desperate Bargaining & Magical Thinking
  • Chrissy discusses religious bargaining and how a coincidental TV program intensified her intrusive thoughts.
  • “I go home…I’m like, God, just give me a sign in 24 hours…then my mom’s like ‘let’s watch 2020 tonight’... it was like, lesbians in their 50s, women who were married and then realized they’re gay. That is not what your brain needed.” – Chrissy & Dr. Victoria Miller (18:20–18:44)
• Suicide Attempt and Diagnosis
  • Chrissy’s suicide attempt leads to hospitalization and—finally—a correct OCD diagnosis in 1998, after which she receives medication and therapy.
  • “Literally, [the psychiatrist] came into my room at night and he was like, ‘Oh my God, I think I know what’s going on. It’s OCD. I’ve never seen this before…’” – Chrissy (20:19)

6. Discovery of OCD Community, ERP, and the Role of Peer Support (21:12–25:35)

• First Exposure to ERP and Pure O Language
  • Finds Dr. Steven Phillipson’s resources online, realizing she’s not alone and experiencing transformative phone-based ERP.
  • “The first article said, ‘Bob is having sex with his wife, and as he’s having an orgasm, he thinks of his friend Fred.’ I was like, these are my people. This is it.” – Chrissy (22:45)
• Cycles of Relapse and Recovery
  • Chrissy discusses medication, relapse, and recognizing OCD even when manifestations change (e.g., Harm OCD in her 30s).
• Embracing Lived Experience and Advocacy
  • Chooses to pursue peer support because “the lived experience is so important for OCD in particular because…it’s ego dystonic…[having someone say] ‘I know that when my groin is firing and I’m looking at a kid and I know I’m not a pedophile, but I can’t stop thinking about it…’” – Chrissy (24:45)
  • Impact of Peer Connection:
    • Having another person understand and validate the experience dramatically reduces shame and isolation for people with OCD.

7. Reflections on Post-Traumatic Growth (25:35–26:20)

• Dr. Celin and Dr. Victoria express gratitude for Chrissy’s vulnerable storytelling and highlight her journey as a powerful example of “post-traumatic growth.”
  • “It’s really lovely to see what I’m going to almost call like post-traumatic growth…now wanting to give back because of your experiences.” – Dr. Celin Gelgec (26:09)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On secrecy and shame:
  “I just knew I probably wouldn’t be validated or understood…I swore to myself I would keep this a secret.” – Chrissy (05:03)

• On the transition from coping to isolation:
  “I was hiding this part of myself that there was this second person inside…this beautiful, perfect person. But then this horrible monster was inside…worthy of punishment.” – Chrissy (14:58)

• On the relief of diagnosis:
  “…[the psychiatrist] came into my room at night and he was like, ‘Oh my God, I think I know what’s going on. It’s OCD. I’ve never seen this before…’” – Chrissy (20:19)

• On the transformative power of peer connection:
  “[With OCD] we know what we want and we can’t stop thinking about the things our brain says we do or don’t want.” – Chrissy (25:17)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------------------------- |-------------------| | Chrissy’s advocacy background | 00:45–02:07 | | Onset of OCD & emetophobia | 04:13–08:08 | | Shift to scrupulosity & taboo thoughts | 09:10–13:11 | | Impact on identity & perfectionism | 13:11–14:58 | | Depression, the “OCD haze,” and lack of connection | 14:58–16:42 | | Grief and suicidality in college | 16:42–21:06 | | OCD diagnosis & experience in hospital | 20:19–21:12 | | Discovery of ERP and the OCD community | 21:12–22:57 | | Embracing advocacy and peer work | 23:44–25:35 | | Reflections & closing thoughts | 25:35–26:20 |

Tone and Style

The conversation is candid, empathetic, and frank, using direct personal storytelling to illustrate the lived reality of OCD. Both hosts respond with warmth, validation, and professional insight, creating a safe and supportive space for discussing difficult topics, including suicide and shame.

Summary Takeaway

This episode offers a powerful illustration of how early-life OCD, left unrecognized, can drive isolation, self-blame, and shame, but also how the courage to tell one’s story—and to build community through peer support—creates life-changing hope and healing. Chrissy’s story is essential listening for clinicians wishing to understand not just the clinical, but the deeply human side of living with OCD.