Breakpoint Podcast Summary
Episode Title: Is Your Parenting Disordered?
Host: John Stonestreet
Date: January 5, 2026
Podcast: Breakpoint (Colson Center)
Co-author: Hayley Wilson
Overview
In this episode, John Stonestreet examines the emerging trends in modern parenting—particularly the rise of digital detox camps and kid concierge services—and explores what these trends reveal about “disordered loves” and a shift in fundamental parental responsibilities. The episode applies a Christian worldview, referencing Thomas Aquinas’ “order of loves,” and considers how cultural norms have shifted parenting away from its biblically defined priorities.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. Rise of Digital Detox Camps & Kid Concierge Services
- Digital Detox Camps:
- Parents are paying experts up to $8,000 per session to help kids break their screen addiction.
- Kids exhibit signs of actual withdrawal; some even try to smuggle devices or run away.
"Campers experience actual withdrawal symptoms. Some stash extra phones in their backpacks. Others even run away to avoid being separated from their devices." (John Stonestreet, 01:10)
- Kid Concierge Services:
- Parents outsource basic life skill instruction (e.g., organizing backpacks, throwing a ball, riding a bike) to professionals for hundreds of dollars.
- Stonestreet questions the necessity and wisdom of parents abdicating these core roles.
- Quote:
"Apparently the new gig economy includes gig parenting." (John Stonestreet, 01:50)
2. Are Parents Abdicating Responsibility?
- The host questions the shift away from hands-on parenting:
- Parents have always needed help at times, but delegating discipline and everyday tasks is concerning.
- Parental reluctance to say “no” or teach basic skills reflects changes in perceived responsibility.
- Quote:
"Shouldn't parents be the ones who are saying no to unlimited screens? Shouldn't they be doing the hard work of training their kids to perform the everyday, mundane tasks of life?" (John Stonestreet, 02:14)
3. Disordering of Loves (Thomas Aquinas Reference)
- Stonestreet references Aquinas’ “order of loves”:
- God first, then family, followed by neighbor and the world.
- Disordered loves: Modern culture increasingly prioritizes self above family and God.
- Insight:
“This ordering reshapes, or rather misshapes, our values, and thus we’re told to value family as long as we don’t find them too toxic… The priority here is always self.” (John Stonestreet, 04:11)
4. Lawnmower Parenting and Over-involvement
- Lawnmower Parents: Prioritize the comfort and ease of their children, removing obstacles instead of encouraging growth.
- Presents survey data showing extreme over-involvement:
- 77% of working Gen Z adults had a parent at a job interview.
- 53% had a parent speak to a hiring manager for them.
- 45% had parents talk to their current managers.
- 73% had parents help complete a work assignment.
- Quote:
"If concierge parents are too hands off, lawnmower parents continue to over parent even adult children." (John Stonestreet, 06:27)
5. Broader Cultural and Historical Context
- Historical parallels: Totalitarian regimes undermined parental authority in favor of the state.
- Stonestreet draws a line between historical examples and modern issues, such as schools making decisions about children without parental involvement.
- Quote:
“How parents were marginalized in those cultures is not completely unlike ours, such as when children are socially transitioned by school officials without parental knowledge, much less consent.” (John Stonestreet, 08:01)
- Impact of social media: Further distances children from parental guidance.
6. Biblical Foundation: Parents’ Non-Negotiable Role
- God grants children to their parents and gives parents authority.
- Goal of parenting: Raise adults who are self-ordered, able to lead the next generation.
- Quote:
“Parents are first and non-negotiable, and the goal of parenting is adults who are well ordered themselves and ready to bring up the next generation.” (John Stonestreet, 10:21)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On culture’s misordering of loves:
“Ours normalizes, expending energy and affections on activities and things that have little to do with God but are instead centered on self.” (John Stonestreet, 03:37)
- On outsourcing discipline:
“If we feel too tired or overwhelmed to offer correction or instruction, why shouldn't we outsource the most annoying parts of parenting to someone else?” (John Stonestreet, 04:34)
- Eye-opening statistic:
“A whopping 73% have had their parents help complete a work assignment.” (John Stonestreet, 06:12)
- Foundational principle:
“God gave children to parents. He gave parents authority over children.” (John Stonestreet, 08:38)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:01-02:13: Introduction; digital detox camps and kid concierge services
- 02:14-03:36: Questions about parental abdication, normal parental responsibilities
- 03:37-05:00: The “order of loves”; how self has become the priority in culture
- 05:01-07:15: Lawnmower parenting and survey data on parental over-involvement with adult children
- 07:16-09:05: Historical and current marginalization of parents; parallels with state interference
- 09:06-10:50: Biblical foundation for parental authority; the purpose of parenting
Summary Flow & Takeaways
John Stonestreet’s commentary, rooted in Christian ethics and practical observation, exposes how modern trends in parenting—from outsourcing basic skills to over-involvement—reflect a deep recalibration, or disordering, of essential human loves. By outsourcing or over-managing for the sake of comfort or self-prioritization, culture risks raising generations poorly equipped for adulthood and moral leadership. Using vivid data and memorable analogies, the episode calls parents back to their “first and non-negotiable” biblical vocation: ordering themselves and their children rightly, so they might faithfully lead future generations.