Broadway Breakdown – "Ranking Every Show This Broadway Season… 'Cause F**k It, Why Not"

Host: Matt Koplik
Date: May 9, 2024

Overview

In this marathon solo episode, host Matt Koplik delivers his signature take on every Tony-eligible Broadway show of the 2023–2024 season. Eschewing specialty acts and concert engagements, Matt counts down the 36 mainstage productions, delivering unfiltered opinions and passionate analysis. The theme: These rankings are subjective, serve more to reveal Matt’s taste and critical framework than to define Broadway’s best and worst. Get ready for industry insight, theatrical hot takes, deep dives, and unapologetic language as Matt outlines the highs and (many) lows of the season.

Episode Highlights & Main Segments

1. Introduction & Disclaimer

[03:00]

• Matt establishes the premise: every Tony-eligible show, ranked, with opinions “not definitive by any means.”
• Emphasizes the purpose: “All this ranking will do for anyone who’s listening is gives you an informed opinion about who I am, what kind of theatergoer I am, what kind of art I like… rather than, you know, what actually is objectively the best or worst of this season.” (06:43)
• Playful warning: If you’re in a show he didn’t like, “click this off and go somewhere else and, you know, do something else with your day.”

  “I am terribly sorry. But also, you know, maybe your show did better than you realized… or maybe it did a little worse than you realized." (05:18)

2. Fan Reviews Shoutout

[08:00 – 19:00]

• Reads and reacts to several glowing (and one tongue-in-cheek, possibly cultish) podcast reviews.
• Reflection on the weirdness of the week, gratitude for listener support.

  “...these reviews were very helpful to make me, you know, go from the mean reds to the medium greens.” (18:40)

3. Matt's Rules: What’s Included

• Only full-run, Tony-eligible mainstage plays and musicals are in the ranking. Concerts/specialty runs are skipped.

The Countdown – Key Insights & Memorable Moments

(Timestamps given at the start of each show segment. For brevity, only top and bottom picks are expanded in full detail; see bulleted highlights for mid-list.)

#36 Once Upon a One More Time

[29:50]

• Britney Spears jukebox musical with fairy tale princesses and rewritten pop lyrics.
• Matt’s take: “I hate to use the word hate… but I gotta say, I hated this. I really did.” (31:15)
• Considers the show an “SNL sketch... stretched to two and a half hours.” Bland staging, convoluted book, confusing world-building, and only choreography stands out.
• Justin Guarini is cited as a bright spot, but “movement was really the show.”
• Notable Quote:

  “I love dumb if it’s clever, I love fun if it keeps going... And this was none of those things. It was bloated, it was confused.” (35:57)

#35 The Shark is Broken

[36:56]

• Three-man play set during the filming of "Jaws."
• “Just comes down to three men with daddy issues… There are no stakes. Nothing is lost, nothing is gained.” (39:30)
• Critique: Over-obvious references (“not Easter eggs, it’s fucking Stonehenge”), zero urgency.

#34 I Need That

[42:50]

• Danny DeVito vehicle about a widowed hoarder, written by Theresa Rebeck.
• “Not insultingly terrible. It’s just incredibly forgettable. Within a week, they all forgot about this play.” (44:55)

#33 Uncle Vanya

[46:36]

• Major disappointment. Cast lauded (Steve Carell, Alfred Molina, Alison Pill et al.) but “everyone in this show is in a different show.”
• Notes: Mismatched performance styles, inconsistent setting and tone; “a crushing disappointment.” (50:40)
• Memorable pun: “Uncle Vanya? More like Uncle Yanya.” (46:45)

#32 Mother Play

[53:35]

• Paula Vogel’s drama called “so bad… camp... straight out of 20 different Lifetime movies from the 90s.” (57:33)
• Lambasts its AIDS subplot for predictability, overwrought tropes, heavy narration.
• Quote:

  “You’re going to be ten steps ahead of it all the fucking time.” (57:20)

• Memorable moment: “He huddles in a robe with his knitted AIDS cap as Celia… talks about how he got worse. And then she reads a letter he wrote her from his deathbed...” (58:28)

#31 The Wiz

[1:03:29]

• “If you are a Wiz aficionado, remind me, is that something that other productions have done or is it just something our production did?” (1:17:30)
• Critique: “Amber Ruffin may have written a good libretto… I can’t be totally sure because it’s just not done well. The design is poor, man… mostly projections that look like they were AI generated. They probably were.” (1:14:00)
• Performers have “amazing voices,” but book scenes “just die.”

Notes on Mid-List Picks (#30–#11)

• How to Dance in Ohio (#30): Praised for representation, weak score/book. (1:18:05)
• The Great Gatsby (#29): “Empty-calorie show. Selling well, but I am not its fan.” (1:24:11)
• Back to the Future (#28): “Laziest musical I think I’ve seen in a very long time. It’s 95% the movie, just put on stage.” (1:29:47)
• Lempicka (#27): “A worse musical than Back to the Future, but with more honorable aspirations. Book is a mess, everyone’s in a different show.” (1:38:15)
• The Cottage (#26): Farce that lacks danger, MVPs are Laura Bell Bundy and Dana Steingold. (1:46:43)
• Grey House (#25): “Not a horror play... gives a sense of unease, but my confusion often cut my tension.”
• Hell’s Kitchen (#24): “Book is a disaster… some wonderful choreography and central performances, but a mess thematically.” (1:56:35)
• Harmony (#23): “Years in the making, but feels like a musical from 1999… all the components there, but no emotional pull.” (2:08:11)
• Spamalot (#22): “Rocky Horror for straight people... score just exists, not funny.” (2:15:08)
• Doubt (#21): “Thoughtful production but lacked heat. Amy Ryan ‘very reserved,’ Tyne Daly missed in the role.” (2:20:20)
• Days of Wine and Roses (#20): “Most ambitious but doesn’t congeal. Kelly O’Hara and Brian D’Arcy James brilliant, but the musical feels like an idea, not a full show.” (2:27:10)
• Water for Elephants (#19): “Jessica Stone’s inventive staging covers a lot of weak material... lively but not memorable.” (2:32:48)
• Prayer for the French Republic (#18): Off-Broadway was “top 10,” but Broadway transfer lost immediacy, casting changes not beneficial. (2:38:27)
• Gutenberg! (#17): “SNL sketch that lasts too long, but Rannells & Gad are lovable. Needed to be 90 min, not 2 hrs.” (2:45:35)
• Cabaret (#16): “Masterpiece of a musical that resists destruction... but this production is ‘try hard,’ not moving, and Eddie Redmayne is ‘very mannered.’” (2:57:30)
  • Memorable insight on Sally Bowles: “Her Sally... it’s almost like she’s got borderline personality disorder—very up, very down... and that would be frustrating.” (3:14:31)

Top 10: Matt’s Broadway Musts

(Full timestamps and Matt's summary thoughts; includes notable quotes and moments.)

#10 The Heart of Rock and Roll

[3:36:07]

• Huey Lewis jukebox musical is “dumb, dumb, dumb and fun, fun, fun.”
• “If you’re going for lightness... keep me surprised. ...All the times in Heart of Rock and Roll where they keep surprising you, it was very fun to see.” (3:37:51)
• Praises Tamika Lawrence and Billy Harrigan Tye; calls for them to have received Tony nominations.
• “Just because it’s silly, doesn’t mean it’s not good.” (3:41:01)

#9 Merrily We Roll Along

[3:43:50]

• “I love the score... but this show does not make me cry. ...Strong revival of a troubled show that will never work. There are enough bumps in this revival for me to keep it out of the top ten revivals not only of all time, but probably of this century.” (3:47:00)
• Daniel Radcliffe is “the ingredient that spices” the show; Lindsay Mendez & Jonathan Groff praised.
• “Rich and Happy is a better song than That Frank.” (3:49:47)

#8 The Outsiders

[3:50:20]

• “I was surprised how much I enjoyed this. ...The Rumble, in particular, is so phenomenally done. ...Almost never boring and when it works, it fucking soars.”

#7 Pearly Victorious

[3:52:53]

• Unexpected hit. “For a while this was a bit of a joke... and it ended up being one of the best reviewed shows of the year, rightfully so.” (3:54:10)
• Leslie Odom Jr. “very commanding”; highlights Carrie Young.
• Only critique: Kenny Leon “not a visionary,” but cast elevates.

#6 Illinois

[3:57:20]

• “This is my favorite musical experience of the season.”
• Dance-driven musical based on Sufjan Stevens’s album; lauds Justin Peck’s staging, lighting, and particularly “The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades is Out to Get Us.”

  “I cannot stop thinking about and listening to that song … Some pieces of music just get under your skin and get into your heart.” (3:59:35)

• Emotional moment: Recounts listening to “Wasps” and reflecting on lost love; music’s power to elevate dance storytelling.

#5 Appropriate

[4:03:50]

• Tracy Letts drama, “just good, good theater and I loved it.” (4:08:22)
• Wasn’t cheap—high ticket cost justified for “compelling drama cloaked in hundreds of years of toxic racism and prejudice.”
• Praises ensemble, final silent coda as “a coup de théâtre.”

#4 Mary Jane

[4:11:10]

• Amy Herzog’s play starring Rachel McAdams.
• “Very heartbreaking, not punishing... Rachel McAdams is giving a masterful performance.”
• Quotes about character:

  “Mary Jane is always on when there are other people around because she has to apologize for her situation... eventually that facade starts to wear off.” (4:13:34)

• Taut, intimate writing and performance is a highlight.

#3 Jaja's African Hair Braiding

[4:19:44]

• “For a while, this was my No. 1 show of the season.”
• Praises ensemble, joy of daily life, humor, quick tonal shift at the end exploring ICE and immigrant precarity.
• “Whether the show earned that heel turn or not is up to you to decide. I think, because I was so happy to be with these characters for so long, I didn’t mind the heel turn so much.” (4:23:28)

#2 An Enemy of the People

[4:26:09]

• Amy Herzog translation, Sam Gold direction, Jeremy Strong stars.
• “This thing fucks... a wonderful return to form for [Gold].”
• Notes first 20 minutes are slow; once the central plot kicks in, “we are off to the races.”
• “It’s tight, it's smart, it’s funny, it’s tense and brilliantly acted by this company. It's got style, it’s got panache, it's got everything.” (4:27:57)
• Memorable moment: Witnessing climate protests at the play during the town hall scene.

#1 Stereophonic

[4:33:00]

• David Adjmi’s three-hour, 15-minute play about a ‘70s rock band recording an album.
• “May not be my favorite play of all time or of the century. It is absolutely my favorite thing this season and stands up to just about anything I’ve loved in the last 10–15 years.” (4:34:02)
• Finds drama in creative process, tension, personalities:

  “There are whole scenes where it’s just like, there’s nothing more scary than not knowing how a character is going to react from being told they’re dragging during take number 52.” (4:35:19)

• High praise for the naturalism, heat, detailed acting, and realism without melodrama.

Quotes & One-Liners Hall of Fame

• “It’s not insultingly terrible. It’s just incredibly forgettable.” — on I Need That, [44:55]
• “None of it made sense and it wasn’t exciting. I thought it couldn’t possibly be exciting because that score is so juicy… but there’s no—they’re not being helped by any means.” — on The Wiz, [1:16:09]
• “I love a dumb bitch like anybody else. This is a lazy, lazy show. It just is. Sorry to tell you.” — on Back to the Future, [1:34:39]
• “Mother Play for me was an embarrassment. ...At least when it misses, it misses so big it’s camp.” [53:40]
• “Just because it’s silly doesn’t mean it’s not good.” — on Heart of Rock and Roll, [3:41:01]
• “If you only accept feedback if it’s positive, I don’t know how that betters you.” — on Lempicka/artist discourse, [1:43:09]
• “This song is about young love, young queer love, too. ...Do yourself a favor and just listen to it. It’s beautiful.” — on “The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades…”, Illinois, [3:59:35]
• “Yes, this is a very strong revival of a troubled show that will never work. I think that its greatness has been a little exaggerated, but this is a strong revival.” — on Merrily We Roll Along [3:47:40]
• “If you’re going for lightness… keep it interesting, keep surprising me.” [on The Heart of Rock and Roll, 3:37:51]

Final Rankings Recap (Top & Bottom)

#1: Stereophonic
#2: An Enemy of the People
#3: Jaja’s African Hair Braiding
#4: Mary Jane
#5: Appropriate
…
#36: Once Upon a One More Time
#35: The Shark is Broken
#34: I Need That
#33: Uncle Vanya
#32: Mother Play

(For a full list, see end of transcript or summary above.)

Closing Thoughts

• Matt urges listeners to leave reviews and ratings to help propel podcast milestones (and see him sing).
• “This is officially the longest episode of Broadway Breakdown… I hope this lasts you all month long.”
• Ends with a play-out from Stephanie Mills, a nod to The Wiz. [~4:46:50]

Recommended for:

• Hardcore Broadway followers, theater fans, and industry professionals
• Listeners who appreciate unfiltered, detailed criticism tied to broader trends in Broadway artistry, staging, and casting
• Anyone seeking an energetic, opinionated, and comprehensive review of the entire Broadway season

(Ad segments, intro, outro, and non-content banter skipped as requested. For complete rankings and deeper analysis of each show, refer to the provided transcript.)