A (4:01)

So, Sam, from performance to performance, does the content vary a lot depending on how you're feeling that day or what stories you want to share with that audience?

B (4:12)

I think that structurally the stories are the same. I mean, the beats of the show are the same. I think how I have goals for each scene and how I reach that, it's more to do with perhaps different elements that I focus on a little bit more within each story and I can expand on things or if I'm making a point, maybe I'll say a few extra lines on really just depends on the night. But I would say structurally the show is about 90% the same each night. That little variation just keeps exciting for me. And I work well under risk. I find risk really brings me into the present. And it means if I. Because I'm not an actor, if I just had a script, I think slowly the words would die. I wouldn't be able to viscerally kind of connect with them. And so having this no safety net behind me or words to fall back on makes me really. I know the intention and emotion I'm trying to capture. And then each night, the best of my ability, I've got to find the words to accurately display that. And. And I think like every attempt is different and, and. And I like that variable. But I'd say over the. The run, having so much experience of trying to hit that goal each night and finding the words really gives me kind of like a robust database of options. To kind of draw from. And so, weirdly, I think it helps the show in the long run. Just be constantly changing and evolving, much like a. I really just want it to have, like, a human element. Like, I don't want to feel like I'm a performer or an actor in front of people. I want to feel like a human being that's trying to find something and. And best express something in using all the tools I have available, and, well.

A (6:00)

I would have to say, beautifully achieved. The program identifies you as creator and performer, and I noticed that there isn't a director or creative consultant or anyone like that that's credited. Did you have anyone to support or collaborate with you to create, ultimately, this theatrical piece?

B (6:21)

Well, I'd been doing it for, over the last two years, intermediately. And, yeah, I always self produced. And you. I wanted to give myself the feedback. I didn't want feedback from others, and I'm sure the people could have really helped me make it better in certain formats. But I think I like the flexibility and. And allowing it to kind of change and evolve. Now, since I've come to the Vineyard Theater, you know, like, I'm very mindful that, you know, this is a whole system that I'm not aware of, and. And I really trust the team at the Vineyard. Sarah Stern, the artistic director who saw me in edinb, she is fantastic. And. And, you know, has. In the. In the initial areas, has really provided, like, some guidance and, you know, help me kind of, like, identify some of the areas in the show that, you know, might not make sense to, like, a New York audience. And so it helps me, if I needed to, like, play with wording, I mean, but, you know, I'm really, like, the very first show, they said places, and I said, what places? Like, I did. And then on. In the first week, Sarah was like, okay, we're going to do rehearsals. And I got into the theater, and it was just her in the theater, and she says, okay, could you do the show now? And I said, but there's no audience here. I just was like, what? I was like, I don't know why. Why would I do it, like, even. But Sarah has been, like, an incredible supportive structure, and. And she has so much wisdom and so much experience that, like, if there's anyone that I listen to, it's like, it is. It is, Sarah. But then, unfortunately, when it comes down to it, I really have to go with my gut on things just so that it feels, like, authentic to me. But I'm learning how to let others in. Slowly.

A (8:14)

Well, and you're doing quite well wearing so many hats in creating your own theatrical piece as well as your artist, you know, visually artistic pieces. So I'd say don't change too much. And the way that you talk about your bipolar diagnosis in your show and in, in your career, in your life, in your, like, extracurricular activities, you don't shy away from it in your paintings either. And you're an ambassador for same Australia. Will you talk about that work?

B (8:54)

Well, I think because of the themes in my show, I'm very big on safety because, you know, I never want to give advice. You know, I'm not a. I'm not a medical practitioner. I, you know, it's. And I really try and stay in my lane of, like, this is my personal experience, this is my story. And, you know, I trust that, you know, people can draw from it whatever they want. But I've kind of done a bit of due diligence in working with sane to just check that contents of my show. Wouldn't be kind of too triggering for people or give them ideas of how to kind of treat themselves in a way that could be harmful. And then, yeah, working with SANE as well, like, I'm a big advocate for both open communication, you know, about what you're going through, if it will help kind of make you feel more comfortable and remove stigma. And also, I think mental health peak bodies have great resources on, you know, how to find treatment. And also there's great sections on how to help somebody else. Because I think when someone's going through a manic episode, that a lot of the pain and difficulty is for family members and friends around that don't know how to intervene. And if you intervene incorrectly or too soon, then they can cut you off and then, you know, you can feel really guilty in that you didn't do things differently. And so I always try and guide people towards, you know, mental health peak bodies, which can really help you kind of have some guidance on, you know, how to deal with a family member that's going through things. And so they just kind of, you know, obviously I advocate for removing stigma, but I really try and do all these things in a very soft approach where I don't want to be lecturing about mental health. I just treat it. It's like it's a story. I try and make it as funny as possible. And then, you know, underneath there can be themes around kind of openness around mental health, having that conversation. But done in a really soft way.

A (10:56)

Done in a soft way that is Also incredibly effective, and I think allows a family member, an individual who might be suffering, to have a way in. And your approach allows it in, in just such an easy, like, easy way. And I, I, I'm so grateful to you in how you're using the work. And you take audiences on a hilarious and moving tour of art that you've created, and it serves as that journey of your mental health. What's the most satisfying thing about the work that you're doing now?

B (11:36)

Yeah, we just say that it's, it's like a true reflection of who I am across time, but also in the moment. I. The paintings that I made are from different states that I've been in, from stable to manic to depressive to kind of varied states. And, you know, I can't ever show people, you know, these other states real time. But being able to put them into paintings allows people to kind of see these different aspects of myself that I couldn't bring to the show on the day. And then I'd say, you know, in the work is this openness to the moment and telling a story and sharing something, recognizing the audience in front of me as human beings and not to just perform to them. It's like I want to show them the hatless person that I am. So everything that I do is really just, is it a true reflection of me and where I'm at right now, is it a reflection of me over time? And then, you know, also does it, does it. How can I best serve the goals that I'm trying to achieve about showing the creative process and, you know, helping people understand, like, intimately the aspects of creative thinking and bipolar thinking and just to try and do that better each night and that. I serve that well.

A (13:05)

And you do, and you make it hilarious and moving. And I'm so pleased to be an enthusiastic audience member. So I thank you, Sam.

B (13:15)

Very welcome. Thank you for that.

A (13:17)

I'm Lauren Klaus Schneider with Sam Kisijikian, creator and performer of Sam Kiseijukian 300 paintings playing at the Vineyard Theater. Thank you.