Brunch N’ Bible: “The Laws of Friendship” feat. Whitney Aladekugbe

Summary

Brunch N' Bible: “The Laws of Friendship” feat. Whitney Aladekugbe
Host: Heaven Kore
Release Date: May 20, 2025

---

Introduction

In this enlightening episode of Brunch N' Bible, host Heaven Kore welcomes her sister and guest, Whitney Aladekugbe, to delve into the intricate dynamics of godly friendships. The conversation is anchored in navigating womanhood through faith, emphasizing how friendships can both uplift and challenge believers in their spiritual journeys.

---

Origins of Friendship

Heaven begins by sharing the foundational story of her friendship with Whitney, dating back to their childhood. They recount their first meeting in a Sunday school class after Whitney moved to Indiana in 2008.

Heaven [03:12]: "It's so interesting how, you know, we got together. Literally it was at our old location at church and there was a little Sunday school house."

Their bond was immediate, solidifying through mutual support despite relocating multiple times. This enduring connection highlighted the notion that true friendships often transcend geographical distances.

Whitney [04:16]: "Everywhere I moved, you would always like come to me. Like, regardless of how far I was, you would literally always be there."

---

Challenges During College Years

As they transitioned into college life, Heaven and Whitney faced typical challenges of young adulthood, including partying and navigating new social scenes. These experiences initially led them down paths that were not aligned with their faith.

Heaven [08:32]: "When you have friendships and you don't know the Lord in your friendships, it's like the blind leading the blind."

Their friendship endured despite these distractions, but it wasn’t until Heaven embraced her faith more deeply that significant changes began to unfold.

---

Introducing GC + 5: The Five Laws of Friendship

The core of the episode revolves around the GC + 5 framework—God Centered plus five essential principles for maintaining meaningful, faith-driven friendships. Whitney introduces this model while discussing the biblical example of Ruth and Naomi, highlighting the depth and commitment that true friendships can embody.

Whitney [14:59]: "Ruth got more even than her man. The relationship that Naomi and Ruth had is such an amazing example of what friendship looks like."

---

The Five Laws Explained

1. Loyalty

   Loyalty is portrayed not just as unwavering support but also as the decision to remain steadfast even when circumstances tempt one to drift away.

   Whitney [15:21]: "Sometimes we think that loyalty means that through thick and thin, like, I'm a ride or die or whatever. Yes. But loyalty also means if I'm placed in a position where I could probably do better, am I going to stay with you?"

2. Accountability

   Friends should hold each other accountable, guiding one another towards righteous paths and preventing destructive behaviors.

   Whitney [16:03]: "In friendship, sometimes we think that let's be yes men to each other. Right. Or let me just let you live your life and not hold you accountable for anything."

3. Encouragement

   Providing genuine encouragement based on scripture helps friends uplift each other, especially during challenging times.

   Whitney [31:57]: "Encouragement is so important in our friendships and in our relationships because when we can't do it by ourselves, there are people that are there so supporting us, encouraging us."

4. Grace

   Grace involves forgiving and supporting friends even when they falter, mirroring the grace God extends to us.

   Whitney [41:09]: "Which is grace, right? Giving your friends grace and having the grace to even be a friend."

5. Sacrifice

   True friendship often requires personal sacrifices, whether it's time, comfort, or personal desires, to support and nurture the relationship.

   Whitney [47:36]: "Sacrifice. That is the last law. And nowadays, what's a sacrifice look like, practically? Right. It's when it's uncomfortable. It's when it's inconvenient for you, but being able to still show up for that person."

---

Personal Transformation and God's Role

A pivotal moment in the dialogue occurs when Whitney shares her struggles during her time in Dallas, Texas. Feeling lost and enveloped in a lifestyle that led to personal turmoil, Whitney reached out to Heaven for help.

Whitney [18:11]: "I was literally living with a friend. I would say a friend, but I was like, I cannot be here. This is not what life should be like."

Heaven's unwavering support and spiritual guidance, rooted in their GC + 5 principles, became instrumental in Whitney's journey back to faith. This period underscored the power of accountability and grace in transforming lives.

Heaven [20:34]: "We're just gonna have to calm down a little bit."

As Heaven and Whitney navigated through personal and spiritual challenges, their friendship exemplified how God-centered relationships can lead to profound personal growth and alignment with divine purpose.

---

Conclusion and Encouragement

Wrapping up the episode, Heaven and Whitney extend heartfelt encouragement to their listeners. They challenge women to evaluate their friendships through the lens of the GC + 5 principles, emphasizing the importance of having relationships that are not only supportive but also spiritually enriching.

Whitney [49:44]: "Reflect and look into your friendships and see if you have sacrificed for your friends or if your friends have sacrificed for you."

The episode concludes with a powerful prayer, invoking blessings for all listeners to find and cultivate friendships that resonate with God's love and purpose.

Heaven [54:18]: "Thank you, Jesus."

Whitney [54:34]: "In the mighty name of Jesus, we have prayed."

---

Key Takeaways

• God-Centered Friendship: Building friendships on a foundation of shared faith ensures that relationships are purposeful and enduring.

• GC + 5 Principles: Loyalty, Accountability, Encouragement, Grace, and Sacrifice are essential for nurturing meaningful and supportive friendships.

• Personal Growth Through Friendship: True friends can guide each other towards spiritual growth and help navigate life's challenges.

• Reflection and Evaluation: Regularly assess your friendships to ensure they align with your spiritual values and contribute positively to your life.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Heaven [03:12]: "We just so happened to just sit next to each other that Sunday school."

• Whitney [14:56]: "I was like preparing and just getting ready. Like, there was a story that stood out to me and a story that I believe that I know well, but I only remembered, like one part of it, and that's the story of Ruth."

• Whitney [15:21]: "Sometimes we think that loyalty means that through thick and thin, like, I'm a ride or die or whatever."

• Whitney [31:57]: "Encouragement is so important in our friendships and in our relationships because when we can't do it by ourselves, there are people that are there so supporting us, encouraging us."

• Whitney [47:36]: "Sacrifice. That is the last law. And nowadays, what's a sacrifice look like, practically? Right."

---

Brunch N' Bible continues to inspire women to cultivate friendships that not only support their personal growth but also honor their spiritual journeys, embodying the essence of sisterhood grounded in God's love.

Transcript

[Heaven]

Welcome to Brunch and Bible where we navigate womanhood through the Word. I'm your host, Heaven, and this is more than a podcast, it's a movement. At Brunch and Bible, women gather, grow spiritually, embrace the complexities of life through word driven discussions and find practical applications for their own journeys. In this refreshing episode, we sit down to unpack the foundations of a godly friendship. We discuss how to navigate the tensions of growth and distance and why alignment and values matter. We also introduced the GC5 five key principles for building and maintaining God centered friendships that are both life giving and purpose aligned. Whether you're in a season of finding your tribe or reassessing current connections, this episode offers wisdom, clarity and encouragement for cultivating meaningful relationships that reflect the heart of God. Hey everyone. Welcome to a new episode of Brunch and Bible. I just want to say a quick thank you to all of you who have been watching our videos, sharing them, liking, commenting, you are very greatly appreciated. Thank you for supporting the work of God. And today I have another new episode, new topic and a new guest. And here I have my sister, Whitney. Everybody, round of applause for Whitney. This indeed is my sister. That's, that's her title. In my life, you know, she has many different titles. She's a businesswoman, she's a student, soon to be graduate. Actually by this time the, the episode released, she will have finished her education and we just, we just thank God for her life. So today we're going to be talking about the laws of friendship and honestly, I could not think of anyone more fitting to join me on the orange couch to talk about, you know, the laws of friendship, AKA Bible based girl code. Okay. And so today's going to be a different flow. It's going to be very conversational. I think that being able to mainly hear from our experience enforced with the word of God will really be able to bless you in your own friendships when you are choosing your friendships in Christ, when you are coming to a point where you need to let go of friendships. And so I just want us to start at the very beginning. If you're watching this, grab your popcorn, grab your snacks, I don't know how long will be, but just know that we're about to take you on a journey. Do you want to start the story off? Do you want me to start the story off?

[Whitney]

Yeah, I could start off. Okay, fill in the gaps. Right, so. Wow, 2008. Yeah, a time ago I remember I had just moved to Indiana and I came to church and that was really where our friendship started, mind you guys.

[Heaven]

Sorry, I'm gonna check you.

[Whitney]

Go ahead.

[Heaven]

It's so interesting how, you know, we got together. Literally it was at our old location at church and there was a little Sunday school house.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

That we used to meet apart from the main building because we just had too many people in the main building. So it's this old ancient looking house. You know, you walk up the steps, you, you, you walk in the house, the floor is creaking, like those kind of vibes. And we just so happened to just sit next to each other that Sunday school. And I realized that she was new. I think I was fairly new. You were 9 years old. Yes, I was 9 and I was 10 years old. And yeah, we just sat next to.

[Whitney]

Each other, talked and literally that was it. Yeah. And I feel like our very first conversation, I don't remember it, but I know that it was such a pivotal part of the beginning of our friendship. Right. Because as we go on. Right. I think I was only in Indiana for about another year or two.

[Heaven]

Not too long after that.

[Whitney]

Not too long after that.

[Heaven]

A few years. Yeah.

[Whitney]

And then I ended up moving and I, I left and I ended up moving again a few years after that. And everywhere I moved, you would always like come to me. Like, regardless of how far I was, you would literally always be there. So then I remember my most recent move being to Dallas, Texas. And before we even get, I guess. To Dallas. Yeah, before we even get to Dallas. The beginning of college.

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

Right. Going off to college, you were an indie and I was in Illinois. And I remember I would come and visit you.

[Heaven]

Absolutely. We were, we were really like. When she says this, it really is for real. Like anywhere that she found herself on planet Earth and anywhere I found myself, somehow we would be in communication. It didn't matter how many states apart. We were, like she said, after we met, a few years after she moved. So it could have very well been a thing of. Well, she was a childhood friend and, you know, I wish her safe journey wherever she ends up in life. But I think one way that God would reaffirm the friendship is that in any place that we found ourselves, that we would connect. And we can. I think that what we'll do is as we go along, we can share the laws of friendship. And one thing I want you to know is friendships are never just friendships. Right. They're covenants. Their covenants. You see, you know in the Bible when it talks about David and Jonathan, they were knit, you know, and there's Just certain people in your life that God would knit you to. Not for the season that you're in, but for your life.

[Whitney]

Yeah. Right.

[Heaven]

So, yeah, let's talk about. Let's talk about our college experience. Yeah.

[Whitney]

Are we. Are we diving in? Yeah, we're getting deep. Okay.

[Heaven]

Let's talk about, you know. Yeah, let's talk about it. However far you want to go, I'll bounce off.

[Whitney]

We had a blast.

[Heaven]

We did have fun.

[Whitney]

We had a good time. Or did we? Right. I think it was the very first homecoming that was happening at your college, and I had to find my way there.

[Heaven]

Oh. Yeah.

[Whitney]

I had no business coming. But guess what? Oh, I was going to be there, and we're going to have a blast. And I. I think I took a bus and it was like, five hours. Five.

[Heaven]

Yeah. She took a Greyhound or something like that. Yeah. Guys, the things that. The things that you'll do for. For enjoyment.

[Whitney]

For enjoyment.

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

Because the thing is. Yeah. I wanted to go turn up and have a good time with my sis. Right. And it's so funny because looking back, that. That trip. Oh, that trip was. Ls an L. L, Double down.

[Heaven]

You want to talk about what?

[Whitney]

Your girl blacked out.

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

No recollection of anything the next morning. Right. And it's so funny because, like, we had no business drinking that much. We had no business doing what we was doing, but we were going to do it because it was fun. Fun. Or so we thought. Right. And then having to, like, reap the consequences after. But even after that, that wasn't. That wasn't it. We're still gonna have fun. We weren't done. Yeah, we definitely weren't done. But, yeah. That was a homecoming experience that is literally etched in our brain. We'll never forget. But another pivotal point of our friendship. Right. Because that could have easily been. We're. We're good. We're not going to be friends anymore. Like, I'm just gonna, you know, let you be and you'll be your own. But, like, even after that, our connection still remained. And through all your college years, our connection still remained. Yeah. Then after that, I ended up moving to Dallas, Texas, before you get into Dallas. Oh, okay.

[Heaven]

I think it's very important to note that when you have friendships and you don't know the Lord in your friendships, it's like the blind leading the blind. Both of y' all don't know your right foot from your left foot. So although we were friends, and although the Lord had ordained our friendship, we didn't know him so we didn't know the purpose of our friendship.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

Right. And so we would do things like we would club.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

We be outside. Listen, we. Yes. All the kickbacks. Like, you know, we have our, we had our little flings like, you know, our, you know, our little, you know, like doing it as in blind leading the blinding. We were just egging each other on to make the wrong decisions in life. And so when your friendship ends isn't especially. And when I, when we talk about friendship here, I'm not talking about the category of friends where we're acquaintances or we know each other. I'm talking about like sisterhood is more so what I'm talking about. Right. So when God places sisterhood in your life, you have to note the, the purpose of it. If not, you guys will abuse each other.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

Thank God we walked out of those seasons and we didn't like there was no malice or anything, you know, those kind of things. But when you don't know, you will literally be making the wrong decision. Oh girl, let's go here. Oh girl, let's go there. Let's go here. Oh girl. Yeah, yeah, take this girl's man. This, this, this, those kind of, those kind of things. Right? And so we didn't, we didn't know the purpose of our friendship. All throughout college we just thought we're sisters for life. We, we even used to say things like one day we'll live together, we'll get an apartment together. We're just going to vibe out because we're sisters for life.

[Whitney]

We're going to live our best life now.

[Heaven]

I think it's, it's safe to move to Dallas. To post. Yeah, to post college. Yeah, Dallas.

[Whitney]

And it's so funny because little did we know, God was just looking at us like, okay, yeah, that's what y' all want.

[Heaven]

I think this is, this is, y'.

[Whitney]

All are, y' all are going to get it right. So yeah, we ended up moving to Dallas and like Dallas changed a lot for me personally. Right. Because like I typically grew up like in pretty tight knit areas, you know what I mean?

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

Everybody knows each other. Dallas is a different entity on its own own completely. And I was introduced to a certain type of lifestyle, you know, and college life is different right. From going to the little parties, from going to the club. It's different.

[Heaven]

It is.

[Whitney]

From what?

[Heaven]

Real life?

[Whitney]

It's, it's real life. Right. And I got warped in, you know, the things. Did you get warped into list baby girl of life. Like I, and I enjoy that lifestyle at the time, because it was thrilling, right? And it was fun, exhilarating. And yeah, people know me, right. And I'm doing these things great. Little did I know I was truly walking in a path of destruction. Right. Little did I know, I thought that, yeah, I'm hosting at clubs, you know, come buy the sections out. Like, let's have fun. The friendships that I was making didn't have any substance to them, you know, they didn't have any foundations. It was just because, oh, we're both cute girls and let's just be friends, you know what I mean? Like, and that starting a friendship off of anything superficial is not a friendship. Yeah, pause, pause.

[Heaven]

And let that sink in. Nowadays, yeah, girls form friendships off of your outfit. Looks cute. Yeah, we look cute together.

[Whitney]

Let's be friends.

[Heaven]

Let's be friends.

[Whitney]

Little do you know, that's not your friend. It's not at all. And not to say that's not your friend, because that's a bad person. No, not at all. But what happens after you leave the club? What happens after you get done partying and you go home and you're by yourself and you're faced with all these thoughts and you're going through all these things? You can't call those people. Why?

[Heaven]

They have nothing to offer you, actually.

[Whitney]

But why, if you can hang out with them and do life and Chia and do all this stuff, why can't you call them? And I think we have to take the time to really reflect. Reflect. What is the basis of my friendship? What is the foundation of my friendship? And that kind of leads us to the girl code, right? The laws of friendship. And I was just as. I was like preparing and just getting ready. Like, there was a story that stood out to me and a story that I believe that I know well, but I only remembered, like one part of it, and that's the story of Ruth. Right. I think that when we think about Ruth, we just automatically think about Boaz. Oh, Ruth got her man. Ruth got her man. But Ruth got more than her man. Ruth had more even than her man. The relationship that Naomi and Ruth had is such an amazing example of what friendship looks like.

[Heaven]

Okay. Yeah.

[Whitney]

Can we dive in?

[Heaven]

Absolutely.

[Whitney]

Okay. So, you know, as we know, Naomi had two sons, right? And she had two daughter in laws, Ruth and Orpah. Right. Both of her, Naomi's sons ended up passing away. And Naomi's like, okay, ladies, like, go home. It's time for you guys to go back to your family.

[Heaven]

Like, find another man.

[Whitney]

Find another man. Like, I'm a widow. I don't have my sons. I don't have anybody. You guys don't need to be here with me. And, you know, both of them, like, weeped, and they were like, no, we're going to stay with you. And Naomi is still adamant. She's like, no, leave. It's time to go. Well, Orpah was like, okay, kiss, kiss. Bye. I will see you later. Like, you don't have to tell me twice. I'm packing up my bags and I'm leaving to go live my best life. But Ruth stayed. And Ruth e. Said, you ate. Wherever you go, I will go.

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

Your God is my God.

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

And first. First law, right? I call it the GC+5. Oh, yeah. Okay, so GC stands for God Centered, right?

[Heaven]

Okay.

[Whitney]

Because that's the basis that should be the foundation of all friendships. And then the plus five are additional principles. Right? The first one is loyalty.

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

Right. Sometimes we think that loyalty means that through thick and thin, like, I'm a ride or die or whatever. Yes. But loyalty also means if I'm placed in a position where I could probably do better or it. It would be easier for me. Like, am I. Am I gonna go, or am I gonna stay with you? Ruth, she did not have a reason to still stay with me. Not at all me. She had no reason. She could have left, but she was loyal to her, and she said that, I'm gonna stay beside you. I'm gonna. I'm gonna stay beside you. We jump into the second law, which is accountability, right? So as Ruth and Naomi journey, you know, Ruth ends up going to the farm, and she. She ends up farming. And then that's where Boaz comes, and it's like, okay, stay here. Don't go to the other farms, because they're going to treat you badly. Right? But if you're here, you're good. Ruth goes home and she's like, hey, Naomi. Like, I ran into Boaz. And like, this is. This is what he said. You know what I mean? And Naomi tells her, Listen to what. What he tells you to do, because you will be safe and, you know, they won't treat you badly. Ruth didn't need to tell Naomi anything. She didn't need to tell Naomi that she even met a man. Right? And sometimes, you know, we don't want to be telling our girls everything. You know, sometimes we're like, we're just going to keep this blase, blase. But by her, like, being held accountable to Naomi, that led her into certain places. Right. That led her, I would say, into her destiny. It did, ultimately. Right. To the fact where she comes back again and Naomi instructs her. And Naomi instructs her, like, hey, when he goes to sleep, you stay at the end of his feet. Right. Why are you instructing me? Or why are you telling me what to do? In friendship, sometimes we think that let's be yes men to each other. Right. Or let me just let you live your life and not hold you accountable for anything.

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

That's not right.

[Heaven]

Right.

[Whitney]

It's not good. You could see your friend walking literally.

[Heaven]

Inside the pass of destruction.

[Whitney]

Destruction. And you won't say anything.

[Heaven]

You know, now how. How you are on. So, guys, she said. She said GC plus five. Loyalty and accountability.

[Whitney]

And accountability.

[Heaven]

I know you have others, but before we jump into those, I want you to talk about how those two played.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

In our lives. And, I mean, I'll talk about it as well, but how do you feel like loyalty and accountability played in your life, especially in that pivotal season of Dallas, Texas.

[Whitney]

Dallas, Texas. I was literally at my wit's ends in Dallas, and it probably seems like I was having a ball and I was having a blast, but I was so broken. I was so sad. I was going through so much emotionally and mentally, and I didn't know how to even deal with it other than to continue living the life of partying and masking it with and the people I'm surrounded with. Yeah, girl. Yeah, let's go host another, you know? Yeah. I was at my wit's ends. I was like, who can I call? I remember at the time, I had. I had ran away from home, and I was. I was literally living with a friend. I would say a friend, but I was like, I cannot be here. This is not what life should be like, Like. And I wanted to go home so badly, but it just. It wasn't going to happen. Right. And I was like, who can I call? Like, who can understand? And I. Can I be transparent with and say, I'm going through it. I called you, and I'm like, sis, I don't know what's going on. X, Y, and Z has been happening. I'm not happy. You know, I don't want to go back home. This and that. And you just kind of like, all right, okay, go home. I think that was the first thing that you told me was to go home. And I was like, no, I'm not going to home. I don't want to go home. And you're like, go home. I ended up Going home that same day. I ended up going home that same day. Right. And I thank God that I ended up going home that same day because that was a turning point for a lot of things. You held me accountable. And even though I did not want to hear jack you had saying, because, you know, I did trust you and because I, I, I appreciate you, I was like, yeah, I' ma just. We'll see what she's talking about. Let me go. I remember we talked with my parents or whatever, literally. And you were like, I'm on the next flight out there.

[Heaven]

Literally.

[Whitney]

To do what? We don't know. But you was like, I'm on the next flight out there. Yeah, we're gonna figure this out and we're gonna nip this at the bud. And I remember you came, you came to Dallas and I thought it was just gonna be okay, My sister's here.

[Heaven]

We're just gonna have to calm down a little bit.

[Whitney]

Yeah, things will calm down a little bit. You know, we'll go out for some food. We'll. We'll enjoy ourselves a little bit. And then she'll leave and that will be, that will be it, the end of it. I'll be, I'll be stuck in this place. I'll be stuck in this situation. You ended up coming to Dallas and I literally, because my dad just brought this up when we were talking last week, right? I literally remember me and you sitting in my parents room on the couch. And my parents are just like X, Y and Z has been going on. We don't. This isn't our daughter. We don't know what's going on with her. Like having you know her, you've known her for, but you know that this isn't your friend, this and that. And I'm sitting there and I'm literally in my head, I'm literally like, these people are wasting their time. Because little do they know, as soon as she goes, I'm outside, you know, these people, why are they wasting her time? Like, what can she do? Yeah, there's nothing that she could do. Like, what could she do? And I remember you trying to talk to me like it was my mom, my dad, and you. And all three of y' all are looking at me, talking to me. I telling you, the words were going in one ear and out the other. You know what I mean? And then, you know, fast forward a little bit. We got a call from your mom and your mom was like, yeah, tell her to come to Indiana, gang.

[Heaven]

Gang.

[Whitney]

I said, huh? Tell her to come where.

[Heaven]

They would.

[Whitney]

Like, tell her to come to Indiana. I'm still even thinking, oh, I'm coming to Indiana.

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

For. For a week or two. I'm going for a little staycation, and then I'll come back to Dallas.

[Heaven]

Put a pin right there.

[Whitney]

Okay.

[Heaven]

Because that's another transition point.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

That unlocked another part of our friendship.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

But I want to. I want to share from my perspective. We go from being college mates and partying and, you know, talking to men and doing whatever little girl should not be doing at all. And we get to this place where I'm. I graduate, she goes to Dallas, and literally, I. I gave my testimony video in a season pass. If you haven't watched it, I encourage you to watch it. It does put this into perspective a bit. But I gave my life to Christ. Fully surrendered my life to Christ in 2019. And that was three months after I graduated from college. So when she moved to Dallas and when I came home after school and got saved, even just naturally, there was just a little bit of distance between us. We weren't talking on the phone every day. We had seasons where we'd be talking all the time, and then seasons where we just check in with each other and the ebb and flow of friendships. Right. But this season, we're a little bit, you know, distant, not on purpose. And I get this call, and I'm blindsided by this call because what she's telling me on the phone, I'm just like, yo, I didn't know that you were going through all this stuff. And now we're at a point where it feels like you're at a no return. I had received Christ, and I. One thing that I did when I got saved was I intentionally prayed for my friends. Intentionally. And I would be in my prayer closet, and I would be naming them by name. And, Lord, I pray that this person comes to Christ, and, Lord, bring this person to salvation and save this person. I would do. I would list out anybody that would come to mind, and she was one of the people that was on my heart. I'm like, lord, please save Whitney. You know, I know that this was my friend, and we used to be girls, girls in the world, but, you know, like, I need you to save her because we're sisters. Right. And I don't want to have to let go of that friendship. And so I was intentionally praying. So to get that phone call, something rose in me that I knew at that point I had to step in. And this is where we talk about the reality of friendships. When we talk about loyalty and accountability. To be able to look past your friendship, past the brunches, past the going out. Pastor, you curl my hair, Pastor. I'm talking to this guy. What do you think when your friend is in trouble? What. What can you do for your friend? What can you do for your sister? And I did what I knew what. Or what I freshly knew to do, which was to step in not only as a friend, but as. As an intercessor, as, as. As anything, as. As a mentor, as anything that I could do to bring this girl out of the pit that she was in. And so I fly out to Dallas and, like she says, I'm sitting in front of her, in front of her parents, and my mom calls and she's like, yeah, let her come to Indiana.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

And I was like, you know what, Mom? It's a brilliant idea. Let her come. I think, you know, taking her out of this environment will help her just get some new, fresh air.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

And so now we're in Indiana.

[Whitney]

You want to take it from there? Yeah. So now we're in Indiana. It was, what, beginning of summer around, like, end of May, early June or whatever. And again, I think I'm still just here for a little staycation.

[Heaven]

Just a few days.

[Whitney]

Just a few days, right? We hadn't gotten to the point where it was like, no, move here. And I believe I ended up going back home. And then that's when the conversation arose. Like, you need to start looking at schools to apply to in Indiana because you're, you're going, You're.

[Heaven]

You're living there.

[Whitney]

You're living there. And I was like, no. I went back and forth with everybody for the longest time because I was like, that makes no sense. I was even trying to make excuses, like, oh, but I'm almost done with school. How am I going to do this now? I'm going to have to. Everyone was like, no, go. I did not want to go. I did not want to go. But looking back, what's the worst that could have happened if I went? Looking back, like, I asked myself, like, if I could have just sat myself down and be like, what's the worst that could happen if you just move? I probably would have made it a lot easier for myself because I felt betrayed. I was like, I called my sis to come.

[Heaven]

Yeah. And now you're changing my whole life.

[Whitney]

Now you're changing my whole life from what I thought that I enjoyed and what I thought that I knew. But everybody was saying, yes. I didn't really have a Choice. Right. And I was like, okay, I'll go. So I started looking up schools and things like that. And remember, I gained admission out here. And even the way I gained admission was truly, like, it was just done by God.

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

It didn't make sense. It was too easy. It was too easy. And I was like, okay, all right, I guess I'll come. And then I ended up officially moving to Indiana and moving in with you and your family and living here and living with y' all, you know? And that was a process to get used to.

[Heaven]

Right.

[Whitney]

You know what I mean?

[Heaven]

Because what was it like with me being, like, freshly saved and then you still trying to figure out your faith and stuff like that? I'm sure there are some nights she was looking at me like, this girl is crazy. She's up praying at all kinds of hours, 21 day fast. I would have, like, literally, like. I think I just was like, come on, let's do this.

[Whitney]

What was that like? And we lived in, like, we shared.

[Heaven]

A room, a bed.

[Whitney]

I first moved here, and I remember, I'd be like, I don't know what's going on. Like, I don't know why she's doing all of this, but I'm here, I guess. You know what I mean? And I truly did not understand it. I didn't get why you were praying so much. I didn't get why you would be up midnight hours praying. I'm like, I'm trying to sleep. Like, can you please. Quiet. Can you keep it down? And then you. You know, I ended up coming to church, right? And at first, I wasn't even going to come to the church because I was like, do I need to? But I'm so happy that I did. Oh, I'm so happy that I did. Because, again, another turning point for me in my journey in Christ. Like, I think a lot of. A lot of. A big part of the reason why I'm even where I am today is because somebody pulled me, right? Somebody pulled me. You pulled me into spaces and into. Around people that I myself would have probably said, I'm not ever.

[Heaven]

I would never.

[Whitney]

I would never hang out. These are not my people. I would never hang out with y' all and be at church until four people. Yeah, I'm not doing it, you know, but it really changed my perspective on things. And even at the time is, you know, I started going to church, like, I've always believed in God, right? I would always say, yeah, I'm a daughter of Christ and things like that. But I. I Truly wasn't. You know, I didn't know God. I didn't have a relationship with him. But just being in the space that you pulled me into, or God helped you pull me into, changed the direction of everything. You gave me a call and you were like, hey, do you want to join the board? I was like, what? And I wasn't even in Indiana for like a. It wasn't even a year yet. I was like, I. I'm okay. Like, I just like coming to church and going, coming and going. But something in me just said, say yes. Right? And I kind of want to even go back a little bit when it comes to, like, opportunities and when it comes to doors, right. And how they're presented to us, sometimes it can be very overwhelming because you don't think that you're capable or. I was even looking at myself, like, how can a girl like me who was just outside with having a blast, like, how can I come in? How can I now come into the house of the Lord and do anything for God? Like, why would he even want me to participate or partake in anything of service that has to do with him? Right? But because I had a friend that had a relationship with God and that understood certain things. I was pulled. Even if I didn't want to be pulled, you know, I was pulled and I was encouraged. And that's the third law is encouragement.

[Heaven]

Come on.

[Whitney]

You know, in times and in seasons where you yourself don't even have any belief in yourself. You don't feel like you're worth it, you don't feel like you can do it. Who around you encourages you and who speaks into your life? Because there's power in the tongue.

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

You know who is interceding for you. And when you come to them and you're asking for advice, the advice they're giving you is. Is based on scripture, not the advice that it's like, oh, yeah, girl, everything will be okay, but what if it's not? Cuz it doesn't look like it's okay. What can you tell me to really, like, gird me up, you know? And encouragement is so important in our friendships and in our relationships because when we can't do it by ourselves, there are people that are there so supporting us, encouraging us, moving along. I think that with Ruth and Naomi, right? Ruth was probably sitting there thinking, like, why is Naomi telling me to do this stuff?

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

Why is she asking me to now go and sleep at the fe. I don't know this man. I don't know this man at all but Naomi was encouraging her. And Naomi, she understood certain things and she was able to see certain things that Ruth probably had no understanding of. Right. But she was submissive.

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

And she did it. And submission in friendships can be so difficult. Yeah, it can be so difficult. Especially when we know each other in different seasons of life. Right. I knew you was my. My padi, my girl. And now you're sitting me down and you're telling me, hey, we can't be doing this anymore. Or maybe not even we can't be doing this anymore, but, hey, let's do something different. Right? I want you to put yourself in this. I want you to. To do this. I want you to do that. And why are you telling me to do this? Like, I shouldn't. You're just my girl. You know what I mean? But true friendship, you have to be submissive to each other.

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

If it's God centered, and that's where the GC is. Right. Because that is still our foundation. That's still our basis. It has to be God centered because now we're not leading each other down a path of destruction. Now God is at the center of our friendship. Right. You had a relationship with him and you knew, like, okay, my sis, I'm gonna need to. I'm gonna need to tell her about some things. And that encouragement built me up.

[Heaven]

Absolutely.

[Whitney]

Because starting my journey, my walk with Christ, I didn't know who I was. I thought I had an idea of who I was. I thought I had an image of who I was. But that wasn't the image that God had for me. It was the image that the world had for. For me. Right. And coming into Christ, I was having such a hard time battling with, like, do I show my full personality? Do I have to be more reserved? Like, as a believer, do I have to look a certain type of way? And for the longest time, I was in that bubble and I was in that shell because I didn't know how to show and be authentic. I didn't know how to, you know, show my true self. But you are such a great example of what it looked like, what it looks like to be in Christ and still to be authentic in Christ.

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

You know what I mean? Because your personality was still there. You were still you, but God was in you, you know? Absolutely. And can I chime in? Chime in.

[Heaven]

Being that. And God bless you for saying this. This is actually the first time that we've gone, like, play by play in our relationship to actually see how far God has brought us Let alone on. On camera. But I want us to talk about you transitioning now from Dallas to Indiana. And now your environment is shifting, right. The Bible talks about how can two walk together lest they agree. The Bible talks about how iron sharpens iron.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

So now what happens when seasons shift but your friendships don't? There's a place where now you have to reevaluate of, like, do I want to let go and embrace the new, or am I gonna tug a war between, you know, my old life and my old friends and the old versus, like, the new? You want? You wanna.

[Whitney]

Yeah, we'll touch on that. Yeah, we tugged. Yeah, we tugged for years. Because even though I was now in Christ, right? There was a lot of things that I just could not let go. Cause I'm like, this is me. You know what I mean? Like, how. How can I let these things go? And we quite literally tugged for years. Full transparency. I don't think it was until the end of last year that things started clicking for me. Right. And during those years, years, the friendship stayed. Right? But we were in different seasons of life. We were in very different seasons of life. And I think one being at a place of understanding, so important, so key, is so key and so important, especially within our dynamic and how we interact with. With each other. Because just because we were in different seasons, you didn't treat me any differently. Right. Sometimes we become saved. And now we think that we're better, right? Or we. We're like, oh, we can't. We can't hang, you know, we can't talk. We can't do this. And there are some circumstances that's actually very much true. But in our circumstance, like you said, interceding for me, right? Holding me accountable even when I didn't want to be held accountable, but even for me, having to just be humble because there was a lot of pride, because I didn't get how everybody wanted me to literally up and leave. The life that I knew and the life that I enjoyed. To now be in Indiana, to do anything, right? To not. To not be doing anything. You know, I always thought I came here for school, right? That was the reason why I thought that I came here. But just reflecting and looking back, it wasn't even about school. It was much more than just that, right? And that pride. Oh, God dealt with me. Oh, God dealt with me. God dealt with me publicly. God dealt with me privately. Oh, he dealt with me because I always thought that I could figure everything out, that I can do everything by myself. And I don't need help from people because what are people going to do for me? Right? And that also even relates to how my relationship with Christ was. I needed help. And even though I was in church and I was serving and all things like that, I still hadn't fully submitted myself to Christ. I was going through the motions. I was going through actions. Oh, I was showing up. Hey, how could I? I was serving, right? But my heart posture wasn't where I needed to be. I was just going through the motions. I had no personal relationship with God. Year after year after year, God dealt with me and showed me, if you want to keep tugging and if you want to keep thinking that you can do this your own way, we'll keep going at it. We'll keep going at it for sure. And I was. I was done. I was tired. I didn't have no fight left, you know, in me. I remember one day I came into your room or sitting on your bed, and I was just bawling, and I was just like, heaven, I'm tired. Like, why does this keep happening? Like, I'm just tired. This and that. And, you know, you're pouring into me and you're like, sis, like, you gotta. You gotta submit fully. You gotta fully submit. You have to come in agreement with him and things. Things will start shifting, right? And that goes back to that law of encouragement. And it also falls into the fourth law.

[Heaven]

Come on.

[Whitney]

Which is grace, right? Giving your friends grace and having the grace to even be a friend. Because, you know, through this whole journey that I've been on, I've lost so many friends, like, so many people that I thought literally it would be us till the end, you know, and they're not bad people at all. But they didn't. They didn't have the grace to be my friend. They didn't understand even what I was going through because. And what I needed. Because to the natural eye, you're good. Yeah, you actually got it. Yeah, to the natural eye, right? And because of their lack of knowledge and lack of understanding, they weren't understanding why I couldn't be there as a friend. Friend to them, you know, I'm a bad friend. And truthfully, yes, I. I probably was a bad friend. Like, I wasn't able to steward a lot of my friendships and relationships how I needed to because I was personally going through so much. But I had one friend who was graced to be my friend. And through the ups and downs and the various things of just, like, going through them, like, would. Would be there, you know what I Mean and gave me grace. Because I know it's a lot of things that you would probably be looking at me like, what is this girl doing, Lord? Lord, this is the girl that I've been praying for that I'm interceding on, Lord. And she's. She's still stuck. Yeah, she's still here. Like, what's going on, Lord? But the grace, right? To not give up on me. Right to not. It's so easy to be like, I'm done. Like, this isn't working. I don't see any fruits. Really? I don't see any fruits. I don't see any fruits. It's time. It's time to move on. But because God gave you the grace to be an amazing friend, an amazing sister to me, and because you also gave me grace that when I made mistakes. Right. And you knew that I knew better, I still made those mistakes. You didn't villainize me. You didn't condemn me. Were there times where you were probably disappointed in me? Yeah, for sure. But guess what? You would talk to me about it. And I think sometimes that's what lacks in friendships nowadays, is that transparency.

[Heaven]

Yeah. You know, being friends taught me another level of who Jesus is. And, you know, you talk about all the times where, oh, I showed so much grace and all these things like that, but that was stretching me because when certain situations would arise, I'd be like, you know what, Lord, how you've dealt with me, I dare not. I dare not come and condemn anyone if, Lord, indeed. Because by that time, we realized the purpose of our friendship. We realized what God was doing. And so now I'm seeing it not just through the lens of sisterhood. No, no, no. But I'm called to this girl. So when you're called to somebody, you can't give up on them. And so I think of how many times that the Lord has come through for me, how many times I've been disobedient, how many times that he told me this, this and that, and I ran away, came to me, and he called me. So now that I have that knowledge, it's time to exercise that. Right. And so I was being able to approach those seasons with grace, to show grace, because he showed me grace. Right. So I think that honestly, friendship is just sisterhood. It requires so much of Jesus to do it properly. Because how do you know all these things? How are you there? Like you were talking about, you couldn't properly service your friendships how you wanted to because you didn't even know. You're right. From your left at the time at all. Right. I just think it's a. It's a beautiful story. And now we find ourselves here where, you know, God is, I would say, putting his finishing touches to a part of the picture.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

And we can look back and see, indeed, like, no, God, you're. You're real. You were in this from the time we were eight years old. Nine years old, sitting in Sunday school together, not even knowing that down the line we would need each other. And I want to also. You know, Whitney, I. I celebrate you for all that you've said. You've painted me to be this superhero. But no, like, the. The amount of times that you've come through for me, I can't even imagine. Right. When you're called to somebody, you're called to them. That's it. You know, there's even times where I've been in my walk and I've come to you like, girl, I'm tired. I'm tired. Or I need help.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

Or I can, like, I can cry. I can be vulnerable. Because it's not a friendship for facade. It's not a friendship just to say we're cool. We look cute in pictures together.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

No, we've seen some things together. And so as much as she's. I've poured into her, she's also poured into me, and she's also made sure that I've been good in the way that she is able to. Right. And so we look at the scriptures and we're talking about friendships. And I'll let you finish your two laws and we'll wrap up. But how can two walk together lest they agree?

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

The Bible talks about in Ecclesiastes. It has a beautiful picture of friendship where it talks about where one is down, the other can pick them back up. That is. That is one of the things of friendship nowadays. We choose friends based on our hobbies and based on work and based on commonalities.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

When it couldn't. It can very well be. And there's a place for that. We talk about the people who are meant to pour into you, to speak life into you. It's more than that.

[Whitney]

Yeah.

[Heaven]

Right. And so I want you to. I want you to finish up your. You said so. We're on. So GC+5 is accountability, loyalty, encouragement, grace. And what's the last one?

[Whitney]

Sacrifice.

[Heaven]

Okay.

[Whitney]

Sacrifice. That is the last law. And nowadays, what's a sacrifice look like, practically? Right. It's when it's uncomfortable. It's when it's inconvenient. For you, but being able to still show up for that person. A lot of times when friendship starts to inconvenience us, we don't want to be, we don't want to be friends anymore. Like, you've got your stuff going on, go ahead and figure it out and that'll be it. But are you able to sacrifice your time?

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

Are you able to sacrifice the things that you know, is comfortable? You know what I mean? Even opening up space and allowing someone to come in. Right. That is sacrifice. It could be uncomfortable. And going to. Back to Ruth and Naomi in the very beginning. Ruth's sacrifice.

[Heaven]

Yeah, right.

[Whitney]

She said, instead of me going home to my parents, to my family, going back to what I knew, I'm going to stay with you, Naomi. And she sacrificed that.

[Heaven]

Absolutely.

[Whitney]

And that in itself led her to her path of destiny. Because of that, you know, reflect and look into your friendships and see if you have sacrificed for your friends or if your friends have sacrificed for you. And it's, it's all the time. It's not just like, oh, money, Right. Or it's not just really that. To be honest with you, there are certain sacrifices that you cannot put a number on. You can't put a price on it at all. So I, I want to challenge everyone to literally look at the relationships, the friendships that they have in their life and reflect and say, are my relationships God centered? And do they have these five laws to them?

[Heaven]

Yep. So accountability, loyalty, encouragement, grace, and sacrifice.

[Whitney]

And sacrifice.

[Heaven]

Those are the, the five laws of friendship. GC plus five. I love that GC girls need to know. GC plus five. Do you have any closing encouragements for anyone who is in friendship, seeking friendship, need to let go of friendships. Any, any closing.

[Whitney]

Ask God laid at his feet. Friendships are always smooth and they're not always just one track. Right. If you find yourself in a friendship that may seem challenging and you're ready to dip, truly go to God and lay it at his feet. Pray for your friend too. Because sometimes we find ourselves in friendships where it seems one sided. Right. But is that person going through something? You know, are we sensitive enough to our friends that even if they don't open up their mouths, we know what's going on with them.

[Heaven]

Yeah.

[Whitney]

But in order for you to be that sensitive, you have to be in partnership with the Holy Spirit. And truly the Holy Spirit will lead you in how to maneuver, how to steward your friendships, how to be a better friend. You know, I, I can look back and say there was a lot of times Where I wasn't a good friend. Friend. I couldn't show up because I didn't know what to show up with. I didn't have anything to show up with. But by the grace of God, just partnering with the Holy Spirit, submitting to God fully and authentically and transparently, I'm stewarding my friendships and my relationships better. So just always go back to him. Go back to God. I feel like if I. If I can leave anything today, it would be go back to God. It's never too late. You're not too far gone. Even if you're in sin right now and you don't know, you think that you're a hypocrite, go back to him. Go and pray to him and tell him to help you. Because the things that you're wanting to stop on your own, you can't do it by yourself.

[Heaven]

No, not at all.

[Whitney]

You're gonna keep going through those cycles until you come into agreement with him, and he will truly transform your life. You just have to say yes. So, yeah.

[Heaven]

Why don't you pray for the viewers, okay? Pray whatever prayer you feel led to pray, whether it's regarding friendship or anything. And then we'll be done for today.

[Whitney]

Okay? Heavenly Father, we come before you, Father Lord, and we just want to give you thanks, Lord.

[Heaven]

Thank you, Jesus.

[Whitney]

Lord, we thank you, thank you for a time like this, Lord. We thank you, Father Lord, for this platform that you have used your daughter as a vessel for, Lord. Lord, we thank you, Father Lord, that in this day and age, for this generation, Father Lord. You are setting women out, Father Lord. Into the community, Lord, we thank you. We thank you, Father Lord. Because you are using these women, Father Lord, you are using them as a vessel. Vessels for your work of the kingdom, Lord, I thank you, Jesus. Lord, I just want to pray for any woman right now who may be in a friendship or who may feel like they don't even have any friends, Father Lord. And they don't know what to do next. Lord, I ask that you just give them the grace during this season, Jesus. Lord, I ask that you give them the comfort that they're looking for during this season, Father Lord. Lord, I ask that they're reminded that even. Even if they feel like they are alone, Lord, that they're truly not alone, that you are there as their father, as their cover, as their banner, Father Lord. And even as their friend, Lord Jesus. Lord, I thank you for the lives of all of the ladies who will be watching this, Father Lord. And I ask, Father Lord, that if they can leave with anything. It's to go back to you and to go and seek you. Because once they seek you, Father Lord, they will truly know and understand what friendship looks like. Heavenly Father, I pray for your daughter. Lord I ask, Lord that as she goes into this new level in her life, in this new season of her life, Father Lord, that you continue just to give her grace. Father Lord Lord, as her capacity is being strength or stretched Father Lord Lord Lord, we ask that you just give her the grace to handle more.

[Heaven]

Yes, God.

[Whitney]

But with ease, Lord.

[Heaven]

Yes, Jesus.

[Whitney]

Lord, I thank you for the life of your daughter. I thank you, Father Lord, for the gift that you have placed in my life that she is. Lord, I thank you for just being marvelous, for always completing your story. Thank you Lord, and just being a father to us.

[Heaven]

Yes, Lord.

[Whitney]

In the mighty name of Jesus, we have prayed.

[Heaven]

Amen. That's another episode of brunch and Bible. I I really pray that this conversation blessed you. I hope it challenged you to look at your friendships and evaluate them and go back to God as she said about what he has said concerning your friendships. And I'm praying that just as the Lord has graced us that the Lord will also so give you a covenant, sister. The Lord will grace you with friends who love you, who can share the love of Christ to you, who can pull you up out of dark situations and when you're down and pull you into a place of destiny. I. I pray that over you. And it is so. In Jesus name Till the next episode. Bye.

[Whitney]

Sam.