Brunch N' Bible: “The Realities Of Walking With God Pt. 2” feat. Benedicta Ajah
Host: Heaven Kore
Guest: Benedicta Ajah
Release Date: March 25, 2025

Introduction to the Conversation

In the second installment of "The Realities Of Walking With God," host Heaven Kore welcomes listeners to a profound exploration of the authentic journey of faith. Joined by guest Benedicta Ajah, the episode delves deep into the challenges and transformations that come with walking closely with God. This conversation is particularly resonant for women navigating their spiritual paths, offering raw insights and personal testimonies that inspire and encourage.

Shifting from Independence to Intimacy with God

Heaven Kore (A) opens the discussion by highlighting the transition from an independent lifestyle to a more dependent and intimate relationship with God. She poses a critical question about how relinquishing independence changes one's approach to God and spiritual intimacy.

Benedicta Ajah (B) responds at [00:00], admitting her initial sense of entitlement in her relationship with God. She shares:

"I think I started out very entitled and so my prayers sounded very much like, lord, you have to, because this."
[02:33]

Benedicta explains that before embracing her relationship with Christ, she felt suffocated by the expectations and gradual loss of her independence. This shift required her to see God not just as an external authority but as a personal, loving presence—Abba, her heavenly father.

Experiencing Spiritual Dryness and Doubt

At [03:25], Benedicta recounts a season of deep doubt and spiritual dryness:

"I became so. Like, I felt delusional, honestly, But I literally felt like I was living in assimilation."
[03:26]

This period made her question the authenticity of her faith journey, feeling as though she was stuck in a simulation where her efforts did not yield the expected spiritual outcomes. She discusses how persistent failure to achieve these outcomes led her to empathize more deeply with God's true intentions, fostering a genuine dependence on Him.

Understanding True Worship

Benedicta emphasizes the importance of authentic worship, distinguishing it from superficial practices. At [04:00], she states:

"Our relationship with God, if you will. Because that's really what worship is like. Exploring that relationship. It has to be in spirit and truth."
[04:00]

She reflects on how false worship, based on external appearances rather than internal transformation, leads to misguided expectations and unfruitful spiritual endeavors.

Marriage and Deeper Intimacy with God

A pivotal moment in Benedicta's journey occurred through her marriage. At [08:36], she shares:

"It was really honestly when I got married that I started to understand the love of Christ."
[08:36]

The dynamics of her marital relationship provided a mirror for understanding God's love and patience. Her husband's rebukes and unconditional support modeled the divine love and grace that deepened her intimacy with God, leading her to reconcile her relationship with her earthly father and, subsequently, with her heavenly father.

Authentic Communication with God

Heaven prompts Benedicta to discuss the importance of being real and vulnerable with God, beyond the initial zeal and fiery declarations of faith. Benedicta acknowledges at [10:26]:

"I'm not asking you to come to me as El Gippor. Yeah, I'm not asking you to come to me as El Gabor. There's a time for that."
[10:26]

She highlights the significance of silent, intimate moments with God, where words are not necessary, and transformation occurs through quiet presence and emotional honesty.

Navigating Idolatry and Healthy Relationships

Benedicta candidly discusses her past struggles with idolizing mentors and spiritual leaders. At [25:32], she reflects:

"I was casting off everything, abandoning my own seek time to spend time with them."
[25:32]

She explains how her dependency on these relationships became idols, detracting from her personal spiritual growth and intimacy with God. Recognizing this, she shifted her focus back to God, allowing Him to fill the voids she had been trying to fill through others.

Producing Spiritual Fruit: Beyond External Success

A significant theme is the distinction between external accomplishments and genuine spiritual fruit. Benedicta shares her initial misunderstanding of what it means to bear fruit in [34:28]:

"I was very prideful. I was very hateful. There was no long suffering. There was no gentleness."
[34:28]

She realized that true fruitfulness lies in internal transformation—cultivating virtues like patience, kindness, and humility—not merely in removing outward sins or achieving worldly success. This insight led her to a more authentic and holistic expression of her faith.

God’s Presence in the Middle Seasons

One of the most profound realizations Benedicta shares is that God often works in the "middle," neither at the peak of success nor at the depths of despair. At [40:45], she states:

"God is the God of the middle. God is the God that actually not reveals himself. When you're at your lowest is when you get back up and you're willing to start trying to walk again."
[40:45]

This concept underscores the importance of remaining faithful and open to growth during the intermediate stages of one's faith journey, where true intimacy and character development occur.

Concluding Insights

In the final moments of the episode, Benedicta imparts a crucial takeaway for listeners:

"God is the God of the middle... That's where the beauty of intimacy and real relationship with Christ actually comes in."
[40:45]

She encourages women to embrace the nuanced and often challenging middle seasons of their spiritual walk, trusting that these periods are essential for deepening their relationship with God and fostering genuine spiritual fruit.

Final Reflections

Heaven Kore wraps up the conversation by expressing gratitude for Benedicta's vulnerability and wisdom. She emphasizes the episode's rich lessons and invites listeners to engage with and share the message, reinforcing the community and supportive nature of the Brunch N' Bible movement.

Notable Quotes

• Benedicta Ajah:

  "I feel like God owed me."
  [05:02]

• Heaven Kore:

  "Spending time with God can also be times of you sitting in silence."
  [10:42]

• Benedicta Ajah:

  "It's not what's on the outside of you that makes you filthy. It's what's in your heart that is making you disgusting."
  [37:04]

• Benedicta Ajah:

  "God is the God of the middle... That's where the beauty of intimacy and real relationship with Christ actually comes in."
  [40:45]

Conclusion

This episode of Brunch N' Bible, featuring Benedicta Ajah, offers an honest and introspective look into the complexities of walking with God. By sharing her personal struggles and revelations, Benedicta provides valuable insights into dependency, worship, relationships, and spiritual growth. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own faith journeys, embracing both the peaks and valleys as integral parts of their relationship with God.

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