Finding Love In A Club In Mexico feat. Lindsay Silberman

Summary

Brutally Anna Podcast Summary: "Finding Love In A Club In Mexico" featuring Lindsay Silberman

Introduction and Background

In this engaging episode of Brutally Anna, host Anna Kai sits down with Lindsay Silberman, a dynamic influencer and entrepreneur. Lindsay shares her journey from a decade-long career as a magazine editor to becoming a successful brand owner. The conversation delves into Lindsay’s multifaceted life, including her unexpected experiences and the resilience required to navigate both personal and professional challenges.

Career Transition: From Magazine Editor to Influencer

Lindsay recounts her decade-long tenure in the magazine industry, highlighting the shifts that led her to pivot her career. “[04:12] Lindsay Silberman: It's funny enough, I just came from a breakfast with lots of editors, many of whom I used to work with. And now I feel like I'm on the other side.... It’s very freeing,” she explains.

Anna probes into Lindsay’s decision to leave a stable corporate job to embrace the uncertain world of content creation. Lindsay shares the moment of realization: “[07:41] Lindsay Silberman: Someone said to me, the train is leaving the station and you either get on or you're gonna miss it. And I thought, well, I better fucking get on that train.”

Despite initial skepticism from peers, Lindsay leveraged her extensive editorial network to secure her first brand partnership with Caudalie. She reflects on overcoming fears and societal judgments: “[09:22] Lindsay Silberman: I had to kind of own it, you know? And now I'm kind of like, it was the best thing ever.”

Meeting Her Husband in Mexico: A Spring Break Story

A pivotal moment in Lindsay’s personal life was meeting her husband during a spring break trip to Mexico. “[25:36] Anna Kai: We met in Mexico at a club on spring break,...” Lindsay describes the unconventional meeting: “[25:55] Lindsay Silberman: We didn't have... He just hit on me at the club. We thought it would be a one-night stand, but it wasn’t.”

Their relationship faced early challenges, including a long-distance dynamic and a temporary breakup. Lindsay candidly shares their three-year separation: “[32:21] Anna Kai: Did you date other people in between?... [32:25] Lindsay Silberman: Yeah, we both dated other people. And we didn't, like, talk about....”

Navigating Relationships and Decisions on Parenthood

The conversation shifts to Lindsay’s perspective on relationships and parenthood. She discusses her decision to freeze her embryos: “[43:27] Lindsay Silberman: And then I had the blog post that went viral and started getting messages... I decided to freeze my eggs because I was not feeling inclined to have them yet.”

Lindsay and her husband mutually agreed on their stance regarding children, emphasizing personal choice and mutual support: “[44:04] Lindsay Silberman: And he was kind of like, if this is what you want to do, I'll support you.”

She reflects on societal pressures and personal desires: “[51:23] Lindsay Silberman: I consider having a child just to give my parents grandchildren, even if I don't want kids. But at a certain point, you need to be, like, selfish.”

Launching Hotel Lobby Candle: From Idea to Success

Inspired during the COVID-19 pandemic, Lindsay launched her candle brand, Hotel Lobby Candle. “[56:09] Lindsay Silberman: It was something I'd had in the back of my mind for years... I wanted to create something that could exist outside of me.”

The initial launch strategy relied heavily on social media, leading to overwhelming success: “[60:09] Lindsay Silberman: Our initial launch sold out in 24 minutes. We sold 3,000 candles in that time.”

Lindsay emphasizes the importance of persistence and overcoming rejections in business: “[66:35] Lindsay Silberman: It was months of trying to make connections and following up... It’s a lesson of persistence and also not having an ego.”

Handling Rejections and Building Resilience

Lindsay shares her experiences with professional rejections in the magazine industry and how they set the stage for future successes: “[78:20] Lindsay Silberman: I was in the running for several jobs... And shortly after that, the real opportunity happened. The next better thing was just waiting in the wings.”

Her advice to aspiring entrepreneurs centers on viewing rejection as a pathway to better opportunities: “[79:50] Lindsay Silberman: If you're facing a rejection, this door is closing because the better door is opening soon.”

The Impact of a Life-Altering Car Accident

A significant turning point in Lindsay’s life was surviving a car accident in 2018. “[72:40] Lindsay Silberman: I got hit by a car as a pedestrian... Two years later, I had back surgery and years of physical therapy.”

This experience reshaped her outlook on life, instilling a sense of gratitude and authenticity: “[75:08] Lindsay Silberman: It stripped down a lot of the need to be perfect... I realized that life doesn't have to be perfect all the time because it's not.”

Lindsay describes how candidly sharing her recovery journey on social media helped her connect more deeply with her audience: “[76:15] Lindsay Silberman: I posted a try-on haul of my scrubs... It was an awakening.”

Final Thoughts and Advice

In concluding the episode, Lindsay reinforces the theme of resilience and embracing change: “[77:53] Anna Kai: So I want to end on this question... Is there one rejection in your life that was a turning point?... [78:20] Lindsay Silberman: There’s been so many... It always led to a better opportunity.”

Lindsay’s journey from corporate editor to influencer, her meaningful relationship, entrepreneurial success, and personal challenges offer listeners a profound narrative of growth, adaptability, and authenticity.

Notable Quotes:

• “[07:41] Lindsay Silberman: The train is leaving the station and you either get on or you're gonna miss it.”

• “[25:55] Lindsay Silberman: We thought it would be a one-night stand, but it wasn’t.”

• “[43:27] Lindsay Silberman: I decided to freeze my eggs because I was not feeling inclined to have them yet.”

• “[60:09] Lindsay Silberman: We sold 3,000 candles in 24 minutes.”

• “[78:20] Lindsay Silberman: The next better thing was just waiting in the wings.”

Conclusion

Lindsay Silberman’s story, as shared on Brutally Anna, is a testament to the power of embracing change, persisting through setbacks, and staying true to oneself. Her insights provide valuable lessons for anyone navigating the complexities of love, career, and personal growth.

Where to Find Lindsay Silberman:

• Instagram: @lindsaysilb
• Brand: Hotel Lobby Candle
• Website: hotelabbycandle.com
• Retailers: Neiman Marcus and other selected stores

Transcript

[Lindsay Silberman]

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[Anna Kai]

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[Lindsay Silberman]

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[Anna Kai]

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[Lindsay Silberman]

No, I don't think so. That was, by the way, the best intro that has ever been written about me and I would like to hand that over to all other podcasts I'm ever on going forward. A 10 out of 10.

[Anna Kai]

I know you're Are you a cat? I know you're a dog person. Long hair Pierre.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Not a cat person.

[Anna Kai]

I'm not a cat person either, but you were probably.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I didn't mind the reference, though.

[Anna Kai]

I know. I was, like, interesting, because I was, like, doing a deep dive on you. I was like, what in God's name has this girl done with her life in so many ways? Okay, so I want to start off. You spent 10 years working as an editor, and you were. I think you said on a podcast, you were like, I am just going to spend post grad working my ass off climbing the corporate ladder, and I'm gonna be an editor in chief one day. Which is great. I love how focused you were in your 20s, and you were about two steps away from that dream job when you were like, I'm gonna quit and try out this thing that I've never made a cent in. And I think what's so interesting is that I always think that our dreams can change as we age, and you're a perfect example of that. At what stage did you realize maybe being the next Miranda Priestly is not what I want to do with the rest of my life?

[Lindsay Silberman]

I think, you know, the tides started to change a little bit in the magazine industry. I think that kind of idea of this glossy magazine and the Miranda Priestly, editor in chief sort of shifted when websites happened and the digital. Digital age happened. And, you know, I still did up until. Honestly, right when I left, kind of envisioned myself in that editor in chief role. But I also think social media happened and Instagram happened, and suddenly a lot of how I envisioned my life looked a lot different. Because the dream that I had when I was, let's say, 14 years old, obviously I didn't know anything about, like, what the world would become or that my job now did not exist when I was 15 and just getting started and, you know, was just like a little hustler wanting to work her way up the food chain in New York. So, yeah, it's just. I think a lot of a lot has shifted in the industry, and the. My. My job move was sort of a reflection of that.

[Anna Kai]

Does your job still exist?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Oh, yeah. I mean, for sure. There's. It's funny enough, I just came from a breakfast with lots of editors, many of whom I used to work with. And it's so interesting. Now I feel like I'm on the other side. And people are very intrigued by what it's like to not be in that world any. And, yeah, it's just. It's very freeing, I have to say. Like, I look fondly. I look back fondly on all of my time that I spend in magazines because, like, wow, the memories, the crazy shit that I, like, lived and did and got to do. I wouldn't change it for anything, but I'm really happy with the decision that I made.

[Anna Kai]

When you say freeing, what do you mean? Like, you're not having somebody telling you what you can and can't include in a piece because you used to write a lot and you still do, but you more so edit for yourself now.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah. I also just think the financial freedom, too. I spent my whole life, you know, working in a corporate job with a salary, and I felt very, you know, I hit a ceiling. I felt like I could work so hard, I could bust my ass, and I still wasn't really able to make that much money. And so now, thankfully, I have the independence to kind of be more in control of that. And that part is freeing for me, for sure.

[Anna Kai]

That's great. Who was your first brand partnership? Do you remember? And, like, what were your deliveries?

[Lindsay Silberman]

It was Caudalie.

[Anna Kai]

Oh, my gosh.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yes.

[Anna Kai]

That's wild. Literally, your first was Christine working there. Okay. So Lindsay and I, well, we actually met at a Caudalie event in Brooklyn, and then we just spent a week together in France with Caudalie.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah. So they were my first brand partner, like, just to give a bit more background. So I worked in magazines my entire life. It's all that I ever dreamt of doing. I like, you know, like you said, I thought that I would just work my way up, become an editor in chief. I knew that I was a really hard worker, really determined, really ambitious. I also, like, I'm not so sure that I want kids. And so I also thought, well, more on that later. More on that later. But I kind of thought, well, I guess when other people leave to go have kids, maybe then that'll be my opportunity to stick around and, like, you know, rise in the ranks. So I started to post on Instagram in the same year. I don't know, what was it, 2015, 2016, kind of when everyone else did and my account started to grow and I started to see opportunity with brands reaching out to me and wanting to work together. And at the time, it was very taboo because I was working in this corporate job. You were not allowed to do any sort of outside take any money or outside deals from other partners. And eventually I just kind of felt like. I remember someone said to me, the train is leaving the station and you either get on or you're gonna miss it. And that was in reference to the content creator, the world of being a content creator. So I thought, well, I better fucking get on that train. Sorry, can I curse? You know, I better get on that train. And I could always go back to a corporate job if it doesn't work out, or it's not for me. But I just felt like there was something happening in the social media marketing space, and I felt like I was in a really prime position, and I had such a unique perspective because I had come from a world as an editor and a journalist. And so I decided to just take the leap and got on the train.

[Anna Kai]

I think that's amazing because you leveraged your relationships that you had made in 10 years as an editor, and basically, I'm sure. What were those initial pitches like? I mean, were they basically like, hey, it's the same thing. It's just instead of pitching to. What was your last job? Which?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Town and Country.

[Anna Kai]

Okay. Instead of Town and Country, it's just Lindsey Silberman.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah. And that was. I had a real identity crisis with that because for my entire life, I was defined by the magazine I worked at. So it was like Lindsay, who works for Du Jour magazine. Lindsay, who writes for Vogue or writes for the Wall Street Journal. And I was really tethered to that as being like, my worth being kind of put in the publication that I worked for. And so that actually was the scariest part, not having the CR Of a very credible publication. I was like, well, will anyone care about me if I'm just like Lindsay, the person not associated with the legitimacy?

[Anna Kai]

Because it's like, oh. Because like, back then, blogging was still sort of. And you started off with a true blog. I mean, you still have your blog. Lindysilberman.com and blogging was in its infancy. So it's this idea that there's nothing quite. And I think there's still nothing quite like being associated with a Vogue or a Town and Country. I think that gives you such credibility.

[Lindsay Silberman]

People. When I kind of announced that I was leaving, it was. There really had not been a lot of editors who had left to go be content creators at the time. And I literally felt like I could feel people rolling their eyes. I could. I remember sending out an email and. And knowing that people were talking and knowing that people were like, oh, my God, did you hear? She's leaving to become an. Try to become an influencer. Like, she was.

[Anna Kai]

Made it pretty high up.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah. And I was like, honestly, a little embarrassed, but I knew deep down I was like, oh, you know, these people are all going to be wanting to do what I'm doing, but they're just going to Want they're going to do it a year later, two years later. And I also knew, like, you know, there. I knew that there was some opportunity for me, and I kind of just like, sucked it up. And I knew people were talking shit, and I knew it was not thought of as, like, the most, like, respected career. People are like, oh, my gosh, you're leaving this ascendant STEAM publication to go do what? And I just had to kind of own it, you know? And now I'm kind of like, it was the best thing ever. Now I'm like, thank God. And all those people who doubted or rolled their eyes, like, you know, I kind of had the last laugh. I feel.

[Anna Kai]

I mean, it's incredible what you've built. And I think that's such an important note, because when I look at now, I know you, obviously, and. But when I looked at your resume, kind of before I got to know you, I was like, this girl has never fucked up in her entire. She. First of all, not many people graduate college with a clear focus of what they want to do, which I think is really interesting, because you went to Syracuse and you were like, what was the title of your major? It was so.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I was. It was a magazine journalism major. It was like, literally the only. It was, like, one of the only universities in the country that had a major that was specifically called magazine journalism. And I was, like, kind of an odd kid in that I just always knew exactly what I wanted. I worked at my high school newspaper. I became the editor of the high school newspaper. I, like, very much type A overachiever, knew exactly what I wanted to do and, like, knew the steps that I needed to take to get there. And, you know, I didn't always know all the time, but I was, like, resourceful in figuring it out. And, yeah, I think that's different than a lot of people who, like. I mean, your. Your path was so right. Your path was so different. And it's like, the irony is that, like, we both ended up here in the same spot, but, like, came in through totally different ways.

[Anna Kai]

Yeah. And I think that's so interesting to hear you say. I knew people were not. Maybe they weren't mean to your face about it, but they were not nice about it.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Behind you. You feel the vibes.

[Anna Kai]

Oh, you can always feel. And it's like, I always think. Cause I was on social media for two years before anybody who knew me. And so the people in my life are maybe not quite close friends, but friends of friends. You go to a party and you Tell people what you do. And it's just. Oh, it's that moment.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, it's a fun hobby. Cool. And so what do, what do you do for money? Like people don't. And you know, there, I think there are still people who have that attitude, but definitely now more than when I left my job, it's like more accepted as a career. And I think people do realize that it is an industry and a growing billion dollar industry and it is something that people should take seriously.

[Anna Kai]

So you just, was there anything you told yourself? Cause I think so many people stop themselves from doing what we do or even starting because they can't get over that fear of embarrassment to the people they. I almost think it's easier. I think the most supportive people in the beginning are the people who don't know you, which is the oddest thing. The people who know you that you feel the most judgment and criticism from. And I heard this amazing TikTok the other day about why your haters are sometimes the people who know you the best and came from the same place as you. It's because people like, they look at you now and they can't fathom coming from the same place and not being where you are. But you took that risk and you are where you are now. So what advice would you have for people who are looking to start who just are like, I just can't imagine going to my mother in law and saying, I'm trying to be an influencer.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, I think, you know, God, I think back to like when I told my parents what I wanted to do and I just remember, I think like they said, well, what are we going to tell our friends that you do for a job? Or like, will we just tell them you're unemployed? Like, I don't know. It was a very kind of weird response. But I think I had initially, initially put the idea in their head that it was something I was thinking about. And then I spent like nine months like sprinkling in little tips, like little, you know, oh, this brand reached out and wants to work with me. Do you know that like this influencer makes this much money per post or just like trying to convey the legitimacy of it. And they definitely were nervous because I think I, you know, I come from a very traditional, like parents like, you know, work like education, medical field, like very traditional. And to them the idea that a person like working for themselves or working on social media is like a very foreign concept. But it didn't take them long, honestly to like really double down and like Totally support me. And you know, get really. Now that my dad, they're both on TikTok, like they don't post, but you know, they're like, oh, sharing my stuff on Facebook. And you. I know that they're very proud, but I think it took like a little bit for them to wrap their heads around the idea.

[Anna Kai]

Well, I stalked your dad's Insta and he's a founding member of the SILB Squad because you started a Facebook group back when, I mean, you are like an og, OG creator, when Facebook groups were still very much a thing. And I think that's so cool. And I think probably because I know my parents said this about me, obviously they had a little less faith, I think, in me than probably your parents did in you because at least you were somewhat in the field. But my dad always said, you know, I never knew what the hell you were really doing in New York, but I knew it was going to be okay because I knew you wanted to do something. And I feel like your, your parents watching you grow up and being so focused even as a 14 year old.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

Were probably like, we have no idea what this is, but she's going to figure it out.

[Lindsay Silberman]

And I just remember saying to them, like, when have I ever given you any indication that I would like fuck it up? You know, like, just trust me. I've never, I've never liked, you know, I just guess I was just always pretty, had my head on straight and knew that what I wanted was that always the thing.

[Anna Kai]

So when did you decide you wanted to go into journalism and magazines? Like, did you open a Marie Claire one day at 10 and was like, I want to be the person who writes that.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Honestly, I think that I remember I'm like aging myself, depending on how old your listeners are. But do you remember those? Like Tiger Beat and like Teen Bop and like there's those magazines for when you were kids or like Jonathan Taylor Thomas from Full House had a spread or like all of those young heartthrobs. So those were the first magazines I had my walls like plastered with them when I was a kid.

[Anna Kai]

And then I think of those as like the limited two of magazines, which again, I'm aging myself too.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Delia's, remember Delia's.

[Anna Kai]

Oh my gosh, yes. That's like the. It's almost like the pre Teen Vogue.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, I guess I was always fascinated by magazines and there was a friend of my mom's who worked in the industry and I remember just being really intrigued by her and her Telling me what she did all day, and I was probably 10, and I just thought it was the coolest thing. And I stayed in touch with her a little bit over the years and, you know, as it came time to apply to college and what college is, and I would ask her her opinion and yeah, I just, like, I kind of knew for a really long time. But it's so interesting now that, like, I saw my life in a very clear direction as to what I would end up doing or what I would become. And, like, the direction I'm in now is a complete 180 from that. And I also think that is, like, okay, you know, I think for some people, they see their lives going in a very specific path, and if it doesn't end up that way, like, it doesn't mean anything. You know, it doesn't mean bad or good. It's just different. And I think, like, learning to accept that and that it's not a bad thing is okay.

[Anna Kai]

Did you know that when you graduated college, you obviously had a very, very clear idea of what you wanted to do, which I think again, is rare at 22, as we said. But did you feel like at the time you had a grasp on your life, or were you kind of like, this is what I want, but, like, I'm still kind of out here soul searching?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Oh, yeah, I was. I mean, you know, I was just out of college. I graduated in like, the worst possible time for getting a job. It was like the financial crisis and no one was hiring. And I was like, well, I just like spent four years working at all these internships and like, you know, getting coffee for everyone and doing all the grunt work and delivering the mail and whatever. And which I. I did deliver the mail at like, every internship I had. Which. It's a tip I can share later. But I was like, great, now who's going to hire me as an assistant? You know, my first entry level job. And there legitimately were no jobs at the time. So I took an internship that was, I think, unpaid. And then I had side hust. I was like bartending. I was cocktail waitress. I was like, doing whatever I had to do to make enough money to live in an apartment in New York, because that's what I had always dreamed of. And it wasn't glamorous at all. It was not at all what I expected. But I also just knew I had to put in the work and the time. And I felt like if I did that, I would get there.

[Anna Kai]

That's wild. I didn't realize you Had a side hustle to what I would consider your main job. And you think, okay, well, you graduate and at least you could get an entry level job in this field.

[Lindsay Silberman]

But no, I was working at gq, like Monday through Thursday, and then I was like, serving beer to drunk idiots in the West Village, like Friday bar.

[Anna Kai]

Did you work at it?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Actually, it doesn't exist anymore. It was called west third Common. It was a fun place. I made a lot of good friends there. Gave away a lot of free drinks. So it was a fun time.

[Anna Kai]

It was a good time. And it paid for your rent in New York?

[Lindsay Silberman]

It did.

[Anna Kai]

You had roommates back then?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Two roommates. It was a two bedroom that we turned into a three bedroom. I had the fake bedroom with the fake wall. It was like, you know, I got it. It was a closet, essentially. But that's.

[Anna Kai]

I never talked to anyone that ever had the real bedroom. Like, who are these people with the. I lived my first apartment.

[Lindsay Silberman]

The ones whose parents were paying for. Yeah, I mean, I didn't have a closet in my room. I didn't have a light switch in my room. The light switch. Because I was in the living room, the light switch that controlled the light in my room was just the living room. So people would come in, I would be like, sleeping and someone would turn on the light and it would be like the middle of the night and I would be like, wide awake because, you know, the light switch wasn't in my room. I mean, just like classic New York stuff.

[Anna Kai]

It's crazy stuff that I think people still do. Cause it's just so expensive and it's actually only gotten worse. But I remember I didn't have a closet either. So I put my bed on those risers that you used to get from Bed Bath and Beyond. Like, every single square inch was utilized.

[Lindsay Silberman]

But I loved it. Like, I feel like those are the best, like, best years of my life. So much fun.

[Anna Kai]

You truly don't realize how freeing it was. Like, I look back and I had so much anxiety about my 20s, but, like, it was actually a really freeing time because it's very freeing to have nothing and to be like, wherever I go from here is gonna be better.

[Lindsay Silberman]

You can only go up.

[Anna Kai]

Yeah, you can only go up. I can only get to. I can't get to a more fake bedroom than where I am right now.

[Lindsay Silberman]

And so I remember the first bedroom I. That. That had a light switch inside the room. I was like, wow, I have made it. This is peak luxury.

[Anna Kai]

That's the pinnacle, or I think for People who've never lived in New York City, they don't understand the luxury of having laundry. A, in your building, which is the first step, and then B, in unit.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

Which I actually never got to. I, like, never. I feel like Covid cut my New York City, like, Sex and the City life short because my husband and I always talk about, like, we only lived in, like, the shitty apartment together. We never got to in like, the corner apartment with the nice light. But I remember when I first graduated to, like, a building with a doorman and laundry in the building.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Like, wow.

[Anna Kai]

I thought it was incredible. But even though I was still in the fake bedroom, at least I didn't have to haul my laundry down the.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Street to the dry cleaner or the laundromat.

[Anna Kai]

Doesn't it just remind you of how soft you've gotten? I've gotten so soft.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Oh, my God. Yeah. It's like. But, you know, I think that. But I love that we had that experience, you know, I think I can't imagine moving straight into, like a real fancy place. Like, I think you appreciate those things so much more when you, you know, had a different. When you were crammed into a, you know, 500 square foot apartment with three people.

[Anna Kai]

No. And it's. I see people who grew up where money was no object and then people like us, where money was never really a part of the picture until it was. And I think on some level it just makes you realize, hey, this came from somewhere. And I know I appreciate it a lot more. That's not to say you can't grow up privileged and appreciate nice things, but there is that dichotomy of this is where I came from. And every now and then I feel like I have to keep myself in check.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Oh, yeah.

[Anna Kai]

You know, when I'm on a trip and I'm like, do I like this pillow? And I'm like, oh, God, you know, what you. What were you sleeping on 10 years ago?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Well, I think that that to me, seems like a reflection of your parents and probably mine too. I think my parents, they humble me. I just feel like I will never get to have too much of an ego or be too confident in myself or whatever, because I think they really bring me back down to earth all the time.

[Anna Kai]

But they're also pretty self made, I guess, in a way. And what's your background for people who don't know you?

[Lindsay Silberman]

So I grew up in New Jersey. I mean, my mom was a stay at home mom for most of my life and then went back into work, actually. When I was, like, 16, she started working with children with autism. So she's, like, truly an angel on earth. My dad is a doctor and grew up, like, you know, pretty normal nuclear family. Mom, dad, brother, and I think, you know, we were comfortable. But my parents were definitely of the mindset of, like, you will work for every penny. Like, you. You know, they gave me things, but nothing was, like, handed to me. I. I had a job, like, from the minute I was legal to have a job. I worked all through college. And so I think that that was just something that they were big on is just, like, never making me feel spoiled and having me know that, like, I really had to work for everything.

[Anna Kai]

What was your first job?

[Lindsay Silberman]

I worked at a shoe store. It was, like, our local shoe store in town. And I still could, like, use, you know, that, like, sliding shoe foot measure thing, you know, those, like, those, like, metal. So it actually was kind of a good plug, was at the time when Uggs were really hot. And the shoe store had just reminds.

[Anna Kai]

You how long Uggs have been in the narrative, because they're still. Yeah, they're a thing again.

[Lindsay Silberman]

This is when, like, the first wave of Ugg pandemonium started. And the shoe store that I worked at, like, would get the first, like, early access to the Ugg. So actually, it was, like, in the beginning, I was like, oh, what a shitty job. I have to, like, you know, put shoes on people all day. But it was like, actually, no, because I have first crack at all the good Uggs, so I would, like, work and then spend my money on the Uggs.

[Anna Kai]

Would you get a discount?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, of course. Not a good one, but it was, like, worth it. And they sometimes give me free shoes, which is cool.

[Anna Kai]

That is. So she has a. What? How old are you? 16.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I was 15 at the time. I loved it. It was just, like, you know, like, made me feel like such an adult going to work every day, and I like that.

[Anna Kai]

Right. And I think that's kind of where your work ethic comes from, is that you were never really handed anything, but it's nice to hear that you weren't. A lot of times, I feel like you either have a dichotomy of people who are like, yeah, I had a horrible life growing up, and then, you know, I just didn't really have parents and figured it out. You had a. By, like, normal suburban standards, but I think as a result, your parents were like, look, this could go either way, so she needs to figure out how to stand on her own. So I want to switch gears a little. You're married and you met your husband in college, which I don't want to blast out how old you are, but it's been a while since you've been.

[Lindsay Silberman]

We did meet. Yes, we did meet in college. I mean, although it's like when you say college, we didn't actually meet on campus. We did meet on spring break.

[Anna Kai]

Still very college.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, right, Exactly. We met in Mexico at a club on spring break. So, you know, if you're listening and you're single and you just think like, God, there's nowhere that I'm gonna meet someone. You may meet someone in the most unexpected place that is. Cause a club in Mexico is about the last place I would have ever expected to meet my future husband.

[Anna Kai]

And he's two years ahead of you. Right. And what was the premise of the spring break? Was that all. A bunch of syracus all went to the same place and that's how it was. Like everybody knew everybody or did you just happen. Because you don't. There's no like school sanctioned spring break. In fact, I think that would be terrible.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I think there was honestly just like hundreds of college kids that all happened to be in Mexico. And we didn't have. Maybe we had some mutual friends, but we didn't really know each other. And we weren't there like as a group together. We just happened to meet at the club. He just hit on me at the club.

[Anna Kai]

Do you remember what his first line to you was?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Well, I just remember we were sitting in like one of those like banquettes at the table and there was one open seat next to me and the whole rest of the place was packed. And I think he like saw me, saw the seat and immediately made a beeline and just like cozied up next to me. And I think he asked me if I wanted to dance or something, which is so weird. I feel like now break.

[Anna Kai]

He was 22 or something.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I mean, I guess that's like what you do, you know, what you would do. So we like went down to the dance floor. So cheesy. And, you know, the rest was history. We thought it would be a one night stand. It was not. It was. That was like 16 years ago or something.

[Anna Kai]

So that is wild. You know, I think that's also a perfect example of like, if it's not the right person or if it's not the right time.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

It can still be the right. It was the completely wrong time.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Everything about that time was wrong. He was about to graduate. He. He was on spring break, I was like, oh, are there other girls that you want to hook up with that are here? Like, why are you calling me again? You know? And it made no sense. I still had two more years left of college.

[Anna Kai]

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[Lindsay Silberman]

We were so young. It just like everything about it did not make any sense. I tried as hard as I possibly could to like not be in a relationship with him, but he was very persistent and I think he knew probably before I did that like we had something special and that, yeah, it didn't make any sense and. But it was worth a shot because otherwise, you know, we wouldn't have known what we were missing.

[Anna Kai]

I mean, it's kind of rare for a boy at 28. Yeah, that's what I feel like.

[Lindsay Silberman]

She's very mature.

[Anna Kai]

It is.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

But what was it? Does he ever tell you, like, what was it about you that he was like, this is probably it.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I think that I was a little bit of a snarky, like, gave him a hard time. I kind of was like, played a little hard to get. Like he was definitely interested in me. And I think he could not tell I was interested in him, but I didn't show it. And he always says, like, he couldn't tell for the first time, like, month whether I, like, fucking hated him or whether I thought he was amazing. Like, I just kind of kept him guessing. And I think that's probably what made him like me.

[Anna Kai]

That's hilarious. Not. Not that that's advice that people should take dating.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, no, that's. That was probably terrible advice. And I'm sure a lot of guys would've been like, okay, cool, she's not interested, let's move on. But like, he. I don't know, he reacted well toward it.

[Anna Kai]

I guess it's like every other girl wanted me too much.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Well, honestly, that's kind of what it was. I think he was used to getting pretty much any girl that he wanted. And I was like, oh, you know, I was take it or leave it. And I think that, like, really kind of intrigued him.

[Anna Kai]

Were you actually take it or leave it or were you like, I've gotta play it cool?

[Lindsay Silberman]

It was a little bit of both. You know, it was kind of, like I said, such terrible timing. I was like, what, am I gonna start dating a guy who. It's a long distance relationship. I still have two more years left of college. I wanna party and like, be a fun college girl. And he's gonna be like, all serious in his, like, serious job in New York and, you know, made no sense, but we really, like, had a connection and so we just said, you know, let's do it.

[Anna Kai]

So when did you decide this is it, we're boyfriend, girlfriend, we're gonna give this a real go, even though we're long distance now.

[Lindsay Silberman]

So it was like a month after we got back from spring break and then stayed together for two years after we started dating. So he was living in New York and he would, like, come visit me at college and like, have to stay in my sorority house. When he was, you know, an adult sort of living in New York.

[Anna Kai]

Did you at least have a double bed?

[Lindsay Silberman]

I don't even. I must have. I don't know. It was pretty. Honestly, it was not ideal and. But we did it for two years and then I graduated and we kind of like had made it to the point of being in person. And then I had this kind of freak out and I was like, oh, my God, this is too serious. Like, I'm too young. Like, I. I actually did think I was gonna marry him one day, but I just couldn't have imagined myself is like Being in such a serious relationship so young. So I freaked out and I said, I think we need to, like, take a break. And I don't know how long it's gonna be. Maybe just a few months. But like, I just. I need to, like. I need a minute to find myself or whatever, I said. And then that actually ended up being three years of being apart. And then we got back together, like three years later.

[Anna Kai]

That's wild.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

Did you date other people in between?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, we both dated other people. And we didn't, like, talk about. Even to this day, we, like, don't talk about it. It was like the period that, like, we don't speak of, you know. But I do think. And he probably won't admit this, but I do think we both needed that time to really, like. I don't know, like, form ourselves. You're so young, in your early 20s, and I really just can't imagine not having had those three years of like, doing my own thing and dating people and having. Having fun, being single with my girlfriends. And so that for me was like a really formative time. And I think he would say. Well, he probably wouldn't say, but I believe it was a formative time for him too.

[Anna Kai]

Well. Cause it doesn't really sound like it was his choice. It sounds like it was yours.

[Lindsay Silberman]

It was my choice, yes. But I think. I think we're still together to this day because of that period.

[Anna Kai]

And I think the difference is because so many people ask me, should I go back to my ex? And most of the time the answer is no. But I think the difference is you were both so young. And it's. I think the people who don't date around, and a lot of people end up divorced. Cause they're like, I married my high school sweetheart, my college sweetheart, and I didn't know what I wanted. And I think it's almost better that you guys left and was like, we saw what was out there and it was not good.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Well, it's also like you said, knowing what you wanted. I didn't know what I didn't know. Cause I just didn't know what else was out there. I knew that I really liked him, but I was like, what means of comparison do I have? Like, other losers from college or high school? Like, you know, I. I really feel like I gained a newfound appreciation for him when I was dating other people.

[Anna Kai]

Because I. My guess is nobody got even close to it. Oh, yeah.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I would say I would go on like, one date and I'd. Like, the person would Annoy me. They'd do something weird, or I'd go on a second date and they would do, like, one weird thing, and I was like, totally had the ick. Really turned off. And I would always go back to, like, well, you know, Matt never really did anything to annoy me. Like, I, you know, he's like, I don't know. He just had all the qualities that, like, I was maybe looking for in other people. And I had it right in front of me all along.

[Anna Kai]

You had the gold standard of the man right off the gate, which is. You were so lucky.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

I think when you first told me that story over dinner, I was like, I absolutely hate you. Because I wanted to be that girl so badly that. That, like, met her match in college and just didn't have to deal with it. But then you were like, no, we broke up for three years.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah. And it was, you know, it was drama. Like, it was not easy. There was, like, periods where I was like, oh, my God, I fucked up. And then he didn't want to talk to me, and then I didn't want to talk to him. And then he was still talking to my family. It was, like, not a clean break. Like, he was. I, like, found out that he was still in, like, a fantasy football league with my dad, and they were secretly talking on the phone.

[Anna Kai]

Are you serious?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yes. I heard my dad in the back bedroom, like, on a secret, like, call. And I went to the bathroom, and I heard my now husband, then boy, ex boyfriend's voice, and I was like, are you talking to my ex boyfriend? And they just were so close that he was like, sorry, we're still in the league together. Like, it was.

[Anna Kai]

Wait, that's actually hilarious.

[Lindsay Silberman]

And I was, like, trying to, you know, I was trying to, like, move on and have a separation. And my parents were not ready to move on. They very much wanted to still be talking to him and hanging out with him.

[Anna Kai]

He's, like, hiding in the bathroom. This guy's so cool. If given the choice between you or my daughter, I choose no.

[Lindsay Silberman]

My parents were, like, furious. They were like, I can't believe you would do that to us. Like, we. They were so upset.

[Anna Kai]

That's almost how you know you have a good guy when your parents are not on your side. Because it's in their nature, I feel like, to always be like, he was the asshole. And they were like, no, Lindsay.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I feel like they, like, did not. They were like, we can't support this decision. But, like, I guess you do what you have to do.

[Anna Kai]

They're like, we still love you because.

[Lindsay Silberman]

We have to, because we birth to you.

[Anna Kai]

That's wild. So what did the process of getting back together look like after that? Not clean break. Cuz you're both in your early 20s. I, I can't imagine you knew how to handle it in the most. I don't even know how you handle breakups. Maturely in your 30s, I feel like it's never that clean. But how do you get back together after that?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Well, honestly I like put my tail between my legs and like totally like came crawling back. You know, I, I just, he had said that, that you take your time and like when you think that you're ready, like I'll be here. And I actually just didn't know how long that offer stood for. I was like, is that like a year? Is it two years? I didn't know three years in if the offer would still stand. So I just like reached out to him and I said, you know, if you're still single and open to getting back together, I think I'm ready now. And thank God he was still single and didn't hate me. And we got back together like that.

[Anna Kai]

Day and he was like, yep, this is what I've been waiting for. It was. No, he didn't like make you grovel or anything.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I mean, no, like, you know, even to this day I'll still like hang it over my head like, oh, remember when you dumped me like for three years and. But like, you know, to his credit, like, he was not like petty about it. He was, he like wasn't bitter. I think he was just like happy that like we were back together.

[Anna Kai]

I feel like some people are just born mature and that feels like, yes, he was just born self assured and mature because so many men, I think, and women, I mean, it would be really tough for me to have somebody leave me for three years.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Are you kidding? If the rules were reversed, forget it.

[Anna Kai]

No, and I, you know, I think about, because I've had a couple exes come back to me and I'm like, no, you thought you could do better and you couldn't, so goodbye.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I really, I truly like give him so much credit for not doing that because I'm sure, you know, he might have been tempted or if it were me, I would have been tempted.

[Anna Kai]

Yeah, like prove yourself. Where are you taking me? Shopping.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Right, Exactly.

[Anna Kai]

Did you know when you went back to him, like, he's the one and I really have to make it work? Or were you like, hey, let's give this A second go. And then, like, at what moment did you realize this is it?

[Lindsay Silberman]

It was a little bit of both, honestly. I think I knew, but I still also was hesitant because I kind of was the type, like, that I never wanted to be, like, tied down. And I just. I felt like it was the time and I was, like, ready to grow up. But there was still, like, parts of me that I was like, oh, it was so much more fun, like, running around being single with my girlfriends. And I have to, like, be serious and, like, in a relationship. And I kind of felt like I always had this, like, independence. And I thought that, like, oh, if I got into a relationship, then that meant that all of that independence would be gone. But I have to say, like, that's not necessarily true. And we. We still, like, even now, we still live our own lives. And I still went out and had fun with my girlfriends. And just because I was, like, in a relationship and some of them weren't, didn't mean that I was, like, not fun to hang out with anymore. And I think that's one thing that him and I respect with one another is like, totally can do our own things, have our own lives, go out, do whatever, and know that we're going to come back to each other. But, yeah, I think that was a really important aspect for me. I didn't want to be, like, suffocated.

[Anna Kai]

But I think that's the mark of a healthy relationship, is that it's not codependent. You know, when people are in toxic relationships, it's like, oh, my God. I feel like if he's doing something without me, it's because it's not so much the idea of him doing something without you or you doing something without him. It's the idea, like, I think a lot of women know, like, he'd rather be hanging out with his buddies than me. And that's when people get nervous.

[Lindsay Silberman]

No, I feel like that's like. I mean, it's easier said than done, but, you know, my feeling is, like, please go do your thing, like. Cause I wanna do mine. And then, you know, it's more fun when we hang out together. Cause we're not doing. We're not hanging out together all the time. We, like, each have our own lives. So.

[Anna Kai]

Yeah. And the right relationship makes you more of who you are, not less of it.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

And speaking of something that you are. You are not somebody that knows whether she wants kids. And it sounds like maybe you're leaning more towards. No.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

What stage of life did that epiphany occur to you? I think it's still pretty rare these days, even though it's happening more and more often. But I think a lot of women I know, I have very conflicted feelings about having children, even though I want them. And so it's really interesting to talk to somebody like you who's decided this is probably not going to happen.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah. So, you know, I. Growing up, like when I. I'm 36, 37, I don't know how old I am anymore.

[Anna Kai]

Does it matter?

[Lindsay Silberman]

I feel like once you get like, it's.

[Anna Kai]

Yeah, once you pass 30, you're like, whatever, right?

[Lindsay Silberman]

When I was in my 20s, I just, I certainly never thought about having kids. It was not on my radar at all. I remember then I started to get into like my later 20s and I kept thinking, like, some of my friends started to have kids and I kept being like, okay, like, wonder when I'm gonna. That's gonna start, like, seeming appealing to me. And I actually have a blog about it. If anyone listening is sort of like, feels conflicted or doesn't have like that like natural born, like, maternal instinct. I really wrote all about how confusing that has been to me. That like, I just don't really feel like I maternal and I don't. I've never pictured myself being a mom. And I think that that's been confusing for me to like, grapple with because I feel like a lot of my friends or most of my friends, like, have always pictured their lives with children and I just have never have. And I remember, and I wrote this in my blog post, but I remember asking my mom, like, when I got into my like, late 20s, like, when did you like, you know, start. Did you just like wake up one day? And then I remember her saying, yeah, you know, when I was your age, like in your. In my 20s, I also wasn't sure about kids. And then like, you know, one day you just wake up and like, you feel differently.

[Anna Kai]

Oh my gosh. And I'm waiting for that people.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I've been waiting for that day for 37 years and it hasn't happened.

[Anna Kai]

Somebody told me, they're like, oh, something shifts in you when you're 30 or 31. And I'm like, I'm gonna be 34 in October and I don't know when that shift is coming, but. And it's not to. I'm more sure than you are about. But it's like, I don't feel maternal. It's not. And you look at those women. Cause we both have Those friends who are like, I, the baby doll when I was a baby, you know, or.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Just like always pictured, like, their family and how they would raise their kids and. And what that would look like. And it's just like. I don't know, it just feels. I felt so weird that I just haven't felt that way. And I felt like I was the only person who felt that way. And then I wrote this blog post that, like, sort of went viral and started getting, like hundreds of messages from people in my DMs. And the comments of the post being like, oh, wait, I feel that same way. I thought I was the only one. And so that was really comforting to just know that, like, I. I was not the only person who feels that way. And a lot of people do. But anyway, I just. My mom told me that she suddenly has shift and she started to think about having kids. And that would happen to me. And I would say, every year, my birthday, I'd wake up or whatever and be like, okay, 29 is this year. Like 30 now is going to be the year. Do I feel it? Can I picture it?

[Anna Kai]

You were with Matt, so it's like.

[Lindsay Silberman]

You could picture it with. And like, it's just like, still not, you know, year after year. And then eventually I decided to freeze my eggs because I was like, well, like, you know, I'm not getting any younger and I'm definitely not feeling any more inclined to have them yet. So, like, I might as well just, like, try to take matters into my own hands and do that now so that, like, I could have the decision or at least have maybe an easier time if I decide much later in life. Life.

[Anna Kai]

Is that a decision that you and Matt made together and how does he feel about it? Because again, you met so young, so you're not really talking about kids, typically in college.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, we certainly. I mean, truthfully, we had never even. Which it sounds so bizarre. We had never even had a conversation about kids or how many we wanted or what we wanted, our kids.

[Anna Kai]

That's probably a good indicator of the fact that.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I. I only realized it after I brought up the egg freezing thing. And I was like, oh, my God, we have never talked about whether we want kids. Which, yeah, is probably an indicator that neither of us cared very much because it wasn't on either our radar. And then I had brought it up to him. And I also kind of explained when you're a woman and you have a biological clock. And that's why if we decide in five or 10 years from now, from the time, we may not have the option. And. And he was kind of like, okay, whatever. Like, he wasn't. He was neither here nor there, but he was like, if this is what you want to do, like, I'll support you. But he's kind of the same exact way as me. Just sort of like, take it or leave it with kids. Like, I don't know. Just not super passionate about the idea, I would say.

[Anna Kai]

So where are you now? Are you kind of like, you know, you've got a ton going on. I can't even imagine you fitting in a pregnancy and then motherhood right now. But are you leaning more towards no, or is it more like a. Hey, since I have frozen my eggs and we have all this technology available, like, it could be something in 10 years where I have a kid at 45.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah. I think that, you know, doing well, we actually froze embryos, so that's. Yeah. Not that it matters or people who do both, but I think doing that actually, like, was such a weight off my shoulders. And, like, it took. You know, I think leading up to that, like, I was. It was just, like, constantly on my mind. Like, oh, my God, am I. You know, am I wasting time? Like, what if I change my mind? Am I even fertile? Am I gonna be, like, so upset that all my friends have kids, and by the time I have one, their kids are gonna be in college? Or, you know, like, I just. It was constant, like, when am I gonna feel this way? And I think the second I just did the embryo freezing, I was like. All that noise kind of went away, and I was kind of like, okay, well, I did the thing that you're supposed to do that hopefully, you know, could increase my chances. And now I can just, like, not think about it for a while. And that's not to say that, like, if. Let's say, I'm 40 and I decide, it's not necessarily a guarantee, but I think it just, like, took a little bit of the pressure off, I guess, knowing that, like, there could be an option if I decide down the road.

[Anna Kai]

Right. It's like, it's there for me. And then was your process with IVF and freezing embryos fairly painless and easy? Because I've had girlfriends go through that process, and they're like, we got one viable embryo.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah. I think I also. I mean, I was not naive. Like, I knew I did it when I was, like, maybe 34. Should have done it when I was, like, 28, because I was pretty sure then that nothing would change, but I was like, you know, maybe I would think, like, oh, maybe by the time I'm 34, I think that's a problem.

[Anna Kai]

And I'm almost 34 and I haven't done it because I was like, oh, at 28, you're like, I'll feel differently. The switch will turn on.

[Lindsay Silberman]

And so I probably should have done it when I was younger because I probably knew deep down then, but, you know, you just don't know what you don't know. And I don't even remember what.

[Anna Kai]

Oh, it's been a fairly painless process.

[Lindsay Silberman]

So, you know, I would say that, like, like, I had talked to a lot of some people who did it, and there were some women who were like, oh, my God, you know, I got a million eggs. And then other people who had a really hard time. Mine was somewhere in between. I mean, I don't think, you know, I. I always say one thing I learned about doing that process is like, talking to people about numbers can be, like, really triggering. And so I was like, very. That was something I learned about watching other people's stories and women who were messaging me that, like, you know, my. I. I would say I would not like the most fertile. But, you know, we had. We do have some options. But I think that that was like a big learning curve for me knowing that, like, it's really triggering to a lot of people to talk about that, especially women who've gone through, like, multiple, multiple rounds. So I tried to, like, keep quiet about just like, the technicalities of it, but I did one round. They had recommended that I do another round or another two, and I just couldn't. Like, I was just spent. Honestly, women who go through multiple rounds of ivf, like, truly like warriors, because I just, by the time it was over, I was like, I just, I can't do it again. And maybe it's because I just was so on the wishy washy anyway. Maybe I felt differently if I, like, was dying for a child.

[Anna Kai]

I've heard IVF is awful. I've had girlfriends go through it and get pregnant because that was the end goal, not just for a later date. And they've told me that the process of going through IVF is actually worse than the pregnancy. They were like, the pregnancy was like, fine. They were like, oh, have you know.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Mine wasn't actually so bad. The retrieval wasn't great. But, like, I have to say, it wasn't, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It's also just like, exorbitantly expensive and.

[Anna Kai]

Were you on health insurance? Sometimes your work will cover it. But were you not?

[Lindsay Silberman]

No, I was working for myself. Like, the meds alone are just insane. I did thankfully get to work with a facility that gave me a discount. But, like, even the discount was. Was like. I mean, a ridiculous amount of money. And it is, like, a privilege to even be able to do that. And I think if people who are thinking about it, like, there are a lot of opportunities for people to, like, get. Try to get their employers to pay for it, even if it's not offered. It is something you can, like, ask your HR about. And that's what I would have done if I was still employed in my corporate.

[Anna Kai]

Actually, it would have made a lot more sense to do it at 20.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I know, I know. And had someone else pay for it.

[Anna Kai]

And just have it on ice forever.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Total.

[Anna Kai]

And I think the storage fees are much less. The initial.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, up front. We actually just got the bill the other day, and that's like, we just got the bill for our children on ice. Like, did you. Do they have our credit card? Or do you like, am I paying that? Or. I'm like, I think they have it on file. We'll be fine.

[Anna Kai]

It's just like a month. It's like your cable bill, you know.

[Lindsay Silberman]

It did go up. I do think I noticed it went up. And I was like, that is criminal. Like, you know, what are they going to do? Could they raise it every year? And then, like, what's your alternative? You can't be like, no, thanks, banks.

[Anna Kai]

Like, yeah, just melt them.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I don't know. I could swear it went up. And I was really pissed about that.

[Anna Kai]

That makes sense, though, because it's inflation. Everything is. It's your renting space. So it's like, your New York City apartment goes up in rent, so do your embryos. How many did you get? Can I ask? Are you okay?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah. Honestly, three. Although I would say, like, we didn't have them tested and so, like, tested for what? For those of us who are, like, how viable? Like, whether they would be, Like, I don't know, viable. But essentially, you can do that before or you can do that after. Like, when. Before that you implant them. And, like, because I wasn't planning on, like, using them anytime soon, I was like, I'll just wait until if and when I decide to try it.

[Anna Kai]

Okay, so you have three. Three shots.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

I've had a girlfriend get pregnant off of one round of IVF where she got one embryo.

[Lindsay Silberman]

That's incredible luck.

[Anna Kai]

And she has a baby who's gonna be two soon, which is insane. How have your parents reacted to you being very iffy about kids?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, I honestly, it, like, really breaks my heart because, like, the one thing I don't really think about myself, like, I. You know, I. I just feel like I think about my parents. Cause I know they would be, like, such amazing grandparents, and I'm sure it's, like, upsetting to them. But to their credit, they really do not say much to me about it, I think. I think because they know how vocal I've been, and, like, I have not, like, been shy about talking about how I feel. I don't think there's any, like, room for discussion, let's say. I think for sure, when I was younger, like, I don't know, like, any parents, they're probably like, oh, we love, you know, grandkids. But I don't. They don't really bring it up anymore, just because. What is there to really say? But I do, like, I would literally, like, consider having a child just to, like, give my parents grandchildren, even if I don't want kids. Like, that is.

[Anna Kai]

Your parents would be better grandparents than you as a parent.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I feel that, oh, 100%. I was like, my. I think my mom was like, oh, I would raise. I would raise the kids for you. Like, she. They just would be amazing. And I feel like I robbed them of that. But it's also, like, you know, at a certain point, you need to be, like, selfish. And I'm like, well, it's your life.

[Anna Kai]

And I'm sure they know that.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, they do.

[Anna Kai]

And it's. Again, it doesn't sound like it's a total no. It's just a no for now. Do you have siblings?

[Lindsay Silberman]

I have a younger brother. Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

Brother. Okay. Is he in a relationship? Married?

[Lindsay Silberman]

He's single. But he, like, you know, I felt. I feel like he's, like, their only.

[Anna Kai]

Hope, because at least they have another.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Right. Well, and also, he, like, loves kids and, like, totally wants to be a dad. And, like, I think that he will be much more of a likely chance than me.

[Anna Kai]

How old is he?

[Lindsay Silberman]

He's 34.

[Anna Kai]

Okay.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

Okay. So he will. He'll figure it out if he wants them. See, I'm an only child, and so, like, the bloodline ends with, yeah, you've.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Got a little bit more pressure.

[Anna Kai]

I know. And so, you know, and Dave and I feel very similarly about kids, where we're, like. We're both really into our careers and our freedom, and there's just so much, you know, people Say nothing changes when you get married. Which I truly feel like nothing changes except I have his health insurance now, which is awesome. But everything changes when you have kids, you know, and so that is a consideration. Well, okay, so you don't have any human children.

[Lindsay Silberman]

No.

[Anna Kai]

But your business, you probably would say is your baby at this point.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, that is, I mean, you know, obviously I don't can't compare what it's like to have a human child, but having a business with my husband is quite literally like having a baby. And yeah, we started our business in 2020, so we own a candle brand called Hotel Lobby Candle. And they're luxury scents that are inspired by five star hotels and destinations. And I, I call myself a candle snob. I've been a candle snob my entire life. I've always loved like beautiful scents and really high end luxury candles. And I also love to travel and a lot of my career prior to becoming a content creator was traveling around the world and writing about travel and hotels. So I always found that the hotel smelled amazing and I loved, I always wanted my apartment. I would come home and be like, oh, I wish my apartment could have a signature scent and just like have the vibe of those hotel lobbies. You know what makes every outfit look better? The right bra from ThirdLove. Their bras make it easy to get ultimate cleavage, a smooth look, or even stop your shirt buttons from pulling. They make over 60 sizes including half cups. You won't find anywhere else, so you'll find your perfect fit. ThirdLove solves bra problems or what they call bra blems. Real women test every style they make. Comfort and support are guaranteed. So stop settling for bad bra. You deserve better. Get your Problem solved today. Save 15 on your first order with code [e-mail] hi there, it's your vagina speaking.

[Anna Kai]

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[Lindsay Silberman]

And it was something, an idea I'd had in the back of my mind for like years and years and years, but never did anything with it until Covid happened. And I was like, what? Well, I'm not traveling as much. My life is like, way less crazy because we were home and I needed something to do with my time and energy. And so I thought, well, maybe now's the time to launch this business.

[Anna Kai]

So the idea sort of came to you. It wasn't so much you were like, oh, I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur. I've always wanted to have a product. You were just like, this is just the one idea that I've always sort of gravitated towards.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I definitely, like, especially as I built my audience as an influencer, I did think a lot about starting a product and a brand. And I wanted to create something that, like, could exist outside of me and like, not rely necessarily on, like, me as the face of it, what that was. I had many different ideas, but the kept coming back to the candle brand and you know, especially during COVID when everyone's missing travel and you really kind of needed like, little micro joys in your home, like things that would just like, make you feel calm and zen. It just felt like the right time. And. And so I certainly never set out to be an entrepreneur. I now think that I'm built for it. But if you would have asked me like a few years ago, I would have said, oh, I could never do that. I'm not entrepreneurial. I don't have that mindset. I'm just. I'm the type that needs to work for other people. I need that structure. Like, I don't think I'm the entrepreneur type. And now I think I am. That's great.

[Anna Kai]

I mean, you prove to yourself. But so what does day one look like though, of hotel lobby? Are you literally just like, buying wax off of ebay and figuring out?

[Lindsay Silberman]

So interestingly, I knew I had the vision for the brand and the branding and like, packaging and all of that. Like, before I had the product. So thankfully, like, also very 2020, I found an amazing designer on TikTok shout out to Michelle and she. We worked together. I told her my idea. I kind of gave her the vision and what I wanted. And she like, totally brought it to life in terms of, like, the packaging and design. And then simultaneously, I was reaching out to manufacturers all over the US and just like, educating myself on the different types of wax and wicks and packaging and fragrance. And I got turned down by every possible one. It was like, obviously it was the pandemic and businesses were struggling and there were like, supply chain issues and also, like, people when you're small and you're just starting out. And we bootstrapped. So I started with my own money. I didn't have any, like, venture funding or anything. We don't have the money to make, like, a million candles. And a lot of these bigger manufacturers will say, oh, well, we won't even, like, talk to you. Good luck finding someone who will talk to you if you're making less than, like, five or 10,000 candles. And, like, I just didn't know. I didn't have a proof of concept enough to even be, like, I don't.

[Anna Kai]

Know if I'm going to sell 50 candles, let alone 5,000.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I had no idea. So finally I did find one person who kind of took a chance on me and was willing to work with me to prove produce our first two cents. And it all happened. It felt long at the time, but, like, in reality, it was kind of a quick whirlwind process and, like, started early in Covid and then launched in October of 2020.

[Anna Kai]

Are they still the same manufacturer you use today?

[Lindsay Silberman]

We've expanded and now we have multiple because we've kind of outgrown the single one. But, yeah, we still work with that same manufacturer. And there's been, like, you know, so many iterations of, like, we're expanding into new categories and using different people for that. But it's definitely been a crazy ride. For sure.

[Anna Kai]

It feels like it's been around forever, but it hasn't because you started in 2020. And I feel like for those of us who, like, really, really lived through the pandemic and, like, weren't in school or were, you know, old enough, it's like, 2020 feels like yesterday, but it's four years, like, forever ago. How did you make yourself stand out in the beginning? Because, like, by the time you entered the candle game, I mean, yeah, it was a very. And it is still a very, very saturated market. But I think I read that your first launch sold out in, like, 24 minutes. How did you leverage your social media platforms?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, so when we launched, like, the initial launch was literally only on social. I mean, we had a website, obviously, but I only promoted it through social. I honestly, like, up until the last week, week that we launched, I didn't even know if the products were going to see the light of day. I had, like, all these issues last minute, and I couldn't get the exact packaging and boxes I wanted. And then we had a different manufacturer that, like, totally screwed us over. It was just kind of a mess up until, like, about a week Before, So I had not posted anything. Like, I didn't even post on Instagram to say that. Oh, by the way, like, over the next few months, I'm going to be building this brand. I was, like, superstitious about it. I didn't even. I just want to seem like a failure at, like, one of these people who was like, oh, yeah, I'm, like, launching this business and then it never happens. Right? So I didn't want to say anything about it until it was like, we had the product, we knew, like, it was a sure thing. And so I honestly, I think about a week before the launch date, I posted on my Instagram stories and I said, I've been doing something for the past, like, eight months that I have not talked to anyone about. I've not. Not even. Only, like, two of my friends know. Like, only my family knew. And. And I just kind of walked people through, like, what had been going on in. For the past eight months in developing the brand. People were really excited about it, but of course, I just, like, had no idea what the reaction was going to be until our last.

[Anna Kai]

So you'd never done any, like, market studies or anything?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Nothing. I mean, I literally was going based on instinct, you know, Like, I. They were two scents that I felt strongly about. The packaging, I thought was good. Like, really, the only people who'd ever smelled the candles were, like, me and Matt. And I just felt really confident in what we had. And I felt like people who trusted my recommendations for other things, for beauty, for travel, I think they knew, or my followers know that I'm, like, a very, like, perfectionist, like, will not put my name on something unless it is, like, the best of the best. And so I think they knew that I would bring that to a product. And so people obviously bought blind. I mean, no one had smelled them, but we sold out in 24 minutes. And initially, that was just all from me leveraging Instagram. I had planned on, like, sending out PR packages and doing all this stuff, and none of that ended up happening.

[Anna Kai]

Because you didn't have any left?

[Lindsay Silberman]

We had none. We literally had none left.

[Anna Kai]

How many candles did you start it with?

[Lindsay Silberman]

I think it was, like, 3,000.

[Anna Kai]

Oh, my gosh.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

You sold 3,000 candles?

[Lindsay Silberman]

It was crazy.

[Anna Kai]

24 minutes.

[Lindsay Silberman]

And, like, we. I mean, I've said this before, but we, like, you know, we started in October and we bought, you know, bought that inventory, and I thought, okay, well, I'll just have until. If I could sell through them through the holiday season, like, October, November, December. Great. For gifting, you know, three months. I could definitely, definitely, hopefully get through that number. And then it was like gone in 24 minutes. Which is wild and just totally blew me away.

[Anna Kai]

So what did you do after that? Were you immediately on the phone like.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I need another 30,000 manufacturer? And I was like, how quickly can we get another? You know, and then we, a month later we restocked. And then that restock sold out in like two hours. And then it sort of was like. And at that point too, it wasn't just like me posting about it. It was like everyone had posted about they. They were sharing on their Instagram. And we started to get some press coverage and it started to kind of like really take off. And I think that was a point when my husband actually left his job to run the business with me full.

[Anna Kai]

Time, which is actually so interesting because he had a very legitimate career prior to being, you know, their insta boyfriend. Candle making side bitch. Sorry.

[Lindsay Silberman]

No, actually he like, thank God for him. He like actually keeps our whole business afloat because I'm just like a total creative, you know, I like love the pretty things and have all the ideas and I want, you know, all the inspiration. But like, the best decision we could have, I could have ever made is to have him like, leave his job and come work with me because. And I give him credit because I was very against it. I was like, I want you to have your job, I want me to have mine. I want us to have our own lives. And like, one of us is in this like, crazy, chaotic, like, you know, kind of unstable situation. And he always had the. A more stable, normal job. And I was like, we both can't, you know, what happens if it all comes crashing down? Like, we both can't take the risk. And he really felt like it was worth taking the risk. And like, thank God.

[Anna Kai]

That's incredible. And that's so scary because I think that's what I always take comfort in is my husband has a very normal job.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Can you imagine if Dave would work with you or you like, started something? It's like, oh my God. Terrifying. And he also.

[Anna Kai]

Health insurance. I'm like, that I'm such a hypochondriac. I'm like always at the doctor.

[Lindsay Silberman]

No, I.

[Anna Kai]

And you know, you see those bills as to like, if this was out of pocket, it would have been a $4,000 ten minute, like visit, you know, so you guys pay for your own health insurance.

[Lindsay Silberman]

We not only pay for our own, but we have pay for our employees too. So now we're, like, at the. Well, we have a team now, and we pay for their health insurance. And, yeah, we. So he worked in finance for many years out of college and then had, like, a big career shift and ended up moving into the fashion industry and did that for, like, seven years. And then never in his wildest dreams would have thought he'd be, like, a candle entrepreneur. But here he is, and he's, like, totally thriving, and we're a great balance because he's really strong in the areas that I'm not, and vice versa.

[Anna Kai]

I didn't realize he had a career in fashion prior to Kandel. So he is at least artistically somewhat inclined.

[Lindsay Silberman]

He was in sales, so he wholesale. So, like, he also brings that element to the business. We're in Neiman Marcus and some other retailers, and, like, I would have had no clue how any of that worked. And so, thankfully, he brings that experience for sure.

[Anna Kai]

I mean, speaking of that, I read on your stories a couple weeks ago. I just. I love this series because it's like, I look at you now, and I'm like, oh, well, hotel lobby's established. Like, you're not, like, struggling anymore, but it's always an uphill battle. Cause you recently got into colinscomb.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

Which is a department store in Texas. And you walked your followers through that journey and the process. And I was like, this is insane. Like, and it honestly was so inspirational to me because I always get, like, so sensitive about when people aren't responding to me. You know, it's like, oh, well, you know what? They don't want me. They don't. And you are basically like, I'm just gonna keep, like, following up. Can you walk us through that whole process? Process.

[Lindsay Silberman]

I think it's funny because people. I think people assume, oh, like, you're an influencer and you have a big brand, and, like, I'm sure you could just get into any, like, story you want. And which.

[Anna Kai]

Oh, my gosh, by the way, I think most influencer brands fail.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah. I mean, there. There are not very many influencer brands. Like, when you walk into a Nordstrom or Neiman's. Like, so I had identified this store that I, like, really had my heart set on it. I heard amazing things about it. And Texas is a huge market for us. And so it's this fabulous store in Houston. And so I just decided to, like, put it out on my Instagram account. Like, does anyone know anyone who knows anyone who might know someone who works there? And thankfully, a lot of people kind of reached out and someone's like, oh, I don't know someone, but I live nearby and I'll just pop in there tomorrow and mention, like, people were so, so kind and so, like, willing. So the squad, honestly, like, my people, like, really ride, like, like, it's. It's incredible. And so I did have one follower who made a connection to me, to someone there. And I was like, oh, great, her intro is great. Like, you know, I was like, oh, you could. How could you say no to this? Like, she totally sold me. Then I followed up and sold myself. And I said, well, I'm gonna be in Houston. I'll just totally. I can totally stop by. Would love to meet you.

[Anna Kai]

Were you gonna be in Houston or not?

[Lindsay Silberman]

I actually was. Well, we were gonna be in Dallas, but I was planning on maybe adding a Houston to. To the trip if there were a reason to. But I also just wanted to, you know, make it known that I would be there and they wouldn't have to do any work and no scheduling.

[Anna Kai]

Cool. It's like your strategy. Just be casual.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah. So I followed up. I put together, spent all night working on this, like, big pitch deck and like, crickets. And then I think I followed up again and then, like, crickets again. And I was kind of like, okay, this sucks. Like, all I had this whole big vision of, like, going to the store and doing a sales presentation. And. And then I think I tried, tried one last time. And I was like, hey, just as a reminder, I'm going to be in Houston. I also was like, we'll be. We sell in Neiman's and we're doing a training there. So I thought, you know, maybe that would work. Like, I was like, I don't know what will get these people's attention. I said, I'm. I'm just going to drop by the store and drop off some candles and hopefully, like, someone will be there to receive them. And then they finally wrote back and said, oh, sorry, like, your email got lost and we're busy. Yeah, like, we've been busy, but yeah, happy to meet you. So I was like, yes. So we go in, we have the meeting. It was like, kind of one of the first times that I really had to pitch the brand in front of buyers. And the story was so intimidating. They literally have, like, every single luxury brand of candle you can imagine. I was like, we are going to get eaten alive in here. Like, I don't even know if we want to be in here. It's like we are just totally out of our league, but we Pitched it and they really liked the brand, and they ended up placing their. Their first po. Their first purchase order, and it's been doing really well there. So we got in. But it took, you know, it took time. Like, it. It took, like, months of, like, trying to make connections and following up and then just showing up and dropping them off and following up then. And. Yeah. So I think that it's just, like, a lesson of persistence and also not having an ego. Like, I very much could have been like, oh, well, fuck them. They're not writing back to me. Like, I have a big audience. Like, they don't know what they're missing. But, like, I. I don't have an ego. And I knew that, you know, this was something I wanted, and I, like, didn't. I wasn't offended. I know people are busy, and, yeah, if you.

[Anna Kai]

It's not personal, and it's unfortunate. I think that's what I realized. It's like, you know, nothing in anything in this business is personal. People are just, like, overwhelmed.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Oh, yeah, We've been told. I mean, we've had retailers. People are like, oh, wow, it's so amazing. Neiman Marcus, you're in all these stores. I'm like, well, that is amazing. But we've also been told by other retailers that are awesome, like, oh, it's not a fit. Oh, we don't have room for you on the shelf, or whatever. You know, it's like, not. Not everything is perfect and not everything for everyone. Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

Cause we don't see you're never going on Instagram being like, we didn't get in this retailer, you know, and that's.

[Lindsay Silberman]

The other thing, too, I think. Like, people, they obviously don't see the full picture. And often people are like, oh, you should share more. Share more behind the scenes. And I guess it's like I struggle sometimes with being a business owner. And it's like, how much do you, like, actually share? And, you know, you don't want to share, like, too. Too much, but because, you know, it's just like, obviously you need to keep up appearances of the brand, and you don't seeing a messy. Seeing the messiness of a brand that is, you know, that is not always, like, the perception. So I try to show bits and pieces here and there. Like, that story, obviously, like, it was not. I could have just been like, oh, yeah, we got picked up by this fabulous store, you know, and I just waltzed in. I just waltzed in, and they, like, were banging down our door. But I, you know, I felt Like, I would rather show what it's actually like. And it's actually like a grind.

[Anna Kai]

But I think that's why your followers love you for who you are, because you're so honest. And again, you know, you don't have to go through the day to day grind. But it is nice. Like, at least for me, I'm like, oh, wait, that's so inspirational. Because so many of us, myself included, probably would have stopped after that first pitch check went unanswered. It's like, well, I'm not gonna bother them anymore. And it's like, no, you know what? You have a brand, you believe in it. Just keep going. Until I come from a real estate background and I had somebody tell me following up. Until they basically tell you to fuck off, right?

[Lindsay Silberman]

You okay, so you definitely. Of course, real estate, you know exactly what it's like.

[Anna Kai]

But it is, you have to. I mean, my God, your pride and your ego, like, it is not even in the same, like, hemisphere, let alone the room with you when you do that. Cause you're like, it's not about me. I want to touch on this. Cause you got hit by a car in 2018.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

And you know, you've always been focused before then. But how much of you just being like two years later, like, I'm just gonna go for it. It's Covid. I've already, you know, escaped death once.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

How much of hotel lobby candle came from you just realizing now or never or not at all?

[Lindsay Silberman]

I think a lot of the decisions that I've made, like after that situation definitely were affected by like my mindset shift of being like, okay, you know what? I like, I got a second lease on life. Like, I'm. What's the worst that could happen? And so, yeah, I was like in New York and I was crossing the street and got hit by a car as a pedestrian, not in a car accident, actually. A car hit me and the woman had run through a red light and it was raining and dark out. Anyway, I got rushed to the hospital. I ended up two years later having that back surgery and years of physical therapy. And I for sure that night and that whole instinct, like, definitely changed my perspective on life. And I obviously, like any person get caught up in like the minutia and I get anxiety and stress about like such stupid things. But like, I always go back to remembering, like, well, you know, it could have turned out really different for me and I'm perfectly fine and I'm, you know, healthy and able bodied and, you know, I sometimes still have back pain, but, like, that's nothing compared to, like, what could have been. So I think that I keep that with me. Like, that's something that for sure has shaped me and my view of life.

[Anna Kai]

I read your blog post detailing this car accident, which, you know, for those of you who want to know the nitty gritty details of it, you should go read her blog post, because it's insane, you know, because you were just coming back from a dinner and.

[Lindsay Silberman]

No, it's like, literally could happen to anyone and actually has happened to so many people, especially in New York. It's like, really freakishly common, which is.

[Anna Kai]

Scary, it is horrifying. But it's. I think that thing you said that stuck out to me was. I remember you were saying, you know, why me Afterwards? Because it does feel so unfair, right? And sometimes the randomness of bad luck and life feels so unfair. But I think your whole message from it afterwards was you were like, it could have been a lot worse. Like, I could not be here, literally. And I think what's so inspiring about that story is that, that you still get to play this game. You know, you could have been taken out of the game. And you're like, okay, basically I have anxieties about the minutia of life. You know, maybe a manufacturer messes up like a wick or whatever, you know, and then you're like, but I still get to play. Which is just such an inspiring message for all of us. Cause again, it's like, I don't think about death on a daily basis, but I'm like, okay. Literally the worst that could happen is like, I don't get to try anymore.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah. Yeah. And I think also it like, strip down a lot of the need to be perfect or show my perfect life. I think I definitely was one of those people who before, like, like to have this appearance of everything being, having everything together. And I think that moment and like, that whole experience sort of taught me, like, okay, this is real life. And like, there is no reason that I should just pretend that everything is great and, like, normal all the time, because it's not. Especially when that happened. I remember, remember, like, I was in the hospital and I was. I think this is, like, so delusional now thinking about it, but I think I was just, like, posting a beautiful travel photo of, like, me, like, on a beach somewhere, like, when I was. No, literally, like, in the neck brace, like, after it had like, my surgery. And it was like, you know, some, like, caption. Like, I know I had never shared Anything that had gone on with me on Instagram. And I remember my dad being like, that's so weird. Like, why are you doing that? Why wouldn't you. You just, like, post about, like, what's actually happening? And I was like, oh, my God. I would never. It's like, so. Oh, my God. Hospital. Like, why would I want anyone to know?

[Anna Kai]

So anesthetic.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah. Like, I don't want anyone to feel bad for me. And, like, I don't want people to, like, think differently of me. And I just remember him being like, well, like, this is what's really happening in your life. Like, why wouldn't you just post, like, what's real? And I was like, shit, that's so true. So I think, like, that day was the first. I think I posted, like. Like, a picture of, I don't know, my gown or something. And I, like, wrote about what had happened and how I hadn't, like, talked about it.

[Anna Kai]

Your outfit of the day.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, I did a. I did a try on haul of in my, like, scrubs.

[Anna Kai]

Front facing versus back facing.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, exactly. But I think that was a little bit of an awakening. That was sort of like, okay, yeah, it does not have to be, like, perfect and polished and whatever all the time. Like, you know, a lot of the times, people respect. Will respect you a lot more if you're just real.

[Anna Kai]

And I think that's the thing is, like, I've had followed you for a long time prior to meeting you, and. And if you just look at you from first glance, obviously you're sharing, you know, the. The pretty parts of life. And the thing that I loved about getting to know you is that I was like, oh, it takes effort for her to get here. Because I think so many of us and people who aren't influencers, like, look, and they're like, oh, my God, everything's so effortless. It's so easy. Like, you just have, like, all these followers. And I think when I met you and realized, oh, like, she struggles too, like the rest of us. And, like, she looks great, but, like, it took her. Her. She didn't just wake up like this. I think that's, like, why I love following you even more. And your stories are kind of like, where it gets real, too.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

And so, you know, in a way, I'm sure that's what has endeared your audience to you after all these years, because you've been at it for a long time in the grand scheme of how, you know, young this business has been.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, for sure.

[Anna Kai]

So I Want to end on this question. I really believe that success and rejection are two sides of the same coin, and we've touched on that in your career. Obviously, I think the people that find success are the ones who've been able to accept rejection and kind of use it to fuel them rather than stop them. Is there one rejection in your life, whether it was a relationship or a business rejection that really kind of stuck out to you and was like the turning point in your life?

[Lindsay Silberman]

Yeah, I think. I mean, there's been so many. I'm primarily thinking about professionally, but, you know, I talked a lot about my career and how I really, like, did everything right. I, you know, I went to the right school, I interned at Vogue, I interned at every magazine, you know, the resume, everything. I knew that I was good on interviews. I knew that, like, I had the ideas. I knew I was the right fit. And there were several jobs that I was, like, in the running for the la. I was like, one of two people left and I was, like, sure that I had it. Like, there was no reason. I knew I was the best person for the job and I didn't get the job. And obviously that was, like, devastating. Like, I just remember thinking, like, this was my dream. My whole world is over. Like, there will never be a job that comes that's anything like this. Like, I'm, you know, I was crushed. And it was always. That has happened to me multiple times. And it was always shortly after that that, like, the real opportunity, like, the better opportunity that I didn't even know existed happened. So I feel like I mentor some girls who are younger and, you know, if they are facing a rejection. I always say, like, as cheesy as it sounds like this is, this door is closing because the better door is opening soon. And like, you maybe don't know it now, but like, in a year from now or six months from now, you're gonna call me and you're gonn. You were so right. I. I was devastated, but I shouldn't have been because the next better thing was, like, just waiting in the wings. And, you know, I think when you get rejected by something, it really just is leaving opportunity for the next right thing to come along.

[Anna Kai]

That's great. So inspirational. Thank you so much.

[Lindsay Silberman]

Thank you.

[Anna Kai]

So where can people find you?

[Lindsay Silberman]

So my Instagram handle is at lindsaysilb with a B and my brand is Hotel Lobby Candle. We are [e-mail] as well as N and Marcus.

[Anna Kai]

Thank you so much for being here, Lindsay.

[Lindsay Silberman]

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