Podcast Summary: Brutally Anna Episode - "How to be Yourself in a World That Wants You to Be Like Everyone Else" featuring Cyrus Veyssi

Release Date: November 18, 2024
Host: Anna Kai
Guest: Cyrus Veyssi

Introduction

In this episode of Brutally Anna, host Anna Kai welcomes Cyrus Veyssi, a renowned TikTok star, soon-to-be television host, and beauty guru. The conversation delves deep into themes of self-identity, navigating societal expectations, and the challenges of maintaining authenticity in a world that often imposes rigid standards.

Personal Backgrounds of Anna and Cyrus

Anna Kai opens up about her upbringing as a first-generation Persian immigrant in Brookline, Massachusetts. She discusses the pressures of assimilation in an affluent, predominantly white neighborhood and her early experiences with her gender identity and sexuality.

[02:55] Anna Kai: "I was born in Brookline, and I'm the child of first-generation Persian immigrants. We assimilated heavily into the sort of, like, New England 'elite' energy."

Cyrus Veyssi shares his own journey as a first-generation immigrant from China, highlighting the similarities and differences in their experiences. Both acknowledge the complexities of balancing cultural heritage with personal identity.

[08:39] Seerus Vasey: "My parents are also educated. They moved here for higher education, and navigating those expectations has been challenging."

Navigating Race and Identity

The duo explores the intersectionality of race, gender, and sexuality. Anna discusses feeling othered in her predominantly white schools despite being culturally affluent, while Cyrus reflects on his experiences with racial identity and the additional layers of being non-binary.

[06:05] Seerus Vasey: "I was always so concerned about the race card growing up, but I didn't have to deal with being a straight woman. That is easy."

[06:30] Anna Kai: "It's like a three-step program. Do you have any questions? Reach out? No, but yeah, it really was. It was like one after the other."

They emphasize how their racial identities were often the first aspect they had to navigate before addressing their gender and sexual identities.

Social Media and Emotional Challenges

Anna and Cyrus delve into the psychological toll of being influencers. They discuss the relentless negativity, hate comments, and the pressure to maintain a certain image online.

[26:33] Anna Kai: "Snacking never felt or tasted so good. Perfectly popped, endlessly delicious."

[26:33] Anna Kai: (Advertisement segment skipped)

Moving past the advertisements, the conversation shifts to the realities of online influence.

[28:08] Seerus Vasey: "I was naive to what being an influencer meant."

[28:18] Anna Kai: "I share responses of people who leave hate comments on my page. Those don't scratch the surface of what I've seen in my DMs."

They highlight the dark side of social media, where public personas can attract severe harassment, including death threats.

[42:10] Anna Kai: "The conversations that I really do look forward to the most actually do happen with people that may not completely see the world as me again."

Beauty as Expression and Forgiveness

The hosts discuss beauty as a form of self-expression and an act of self-forgiveness. Anna shares her journey of using makeup not just to enhance her appearance but to reconcile with her past self-criticism.

[44:06] Seerus Vasey: "Beauty is an act of forgiveness."

[45:29] Anna Kai: "Beauty is a form of expression. Doing makeup is a form of expression. But I also do really think it's an act of forgiveness for me."

This segment underscores the therapeutic aspects of beauty routines and their role in personal healing.

Dating in the Queer Community

Anna and Cyrus explore the dynamics of dating within the queer community, particularly in a city like New York. They discuss the challenges of finding compatible partners and the complexities introduced by gender and sexual identities.

[55:31] Seerus Vasey: "What is dating even like for a single non-binary gay person?"

[59:57] Anna Kai: "Dating is so fluid in queer relationships. There's so much more that we can do beyond traditional norms."

The conversation touches on the difficulties of dating apps, societal expectations, and the importance of authenticity in relationships.

Financial Dynamics in Relationships

The hosts delve into the often-taboo topic of finances in relationships. They discuss the expectations around who pays for dates, the cultural influences on financial dynamics, and the importance of open communication.

[72:52] Anna Kai: "I don't do it to get something back. I've never grown up in a culture like that."

[73:20] Anna Kai: "If you're not okay with that, that's fair. It just means that relationship might not be the right one."

They emphasize that financial arrangements should be mutually agreed upon and flexible to accommodate each partner’s circumstances.

Conclusion and Future Outlook

Anna and Cyrus wrap up the episode by reflecting on their personal growth and the ongoing journey toward self-acceptance and authenticity. They encourage listeners to prioritize their mental health, embrace their true selves, and foster relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.

[81:16] Anna Kai: "If you spend more time every day thinking that to yourself, what is my life when people are trying to convince me to do things that I'm not convinced by, what am I doing? Am I wasting my time?"

The episode concludes with a hopeful message about the power of reinvention and the importance of staying true to one’s identity amidst external pressures.

Notable Quotes

• [02:55] Anna Kai: "I was born in Brookline, and I'm the child of first-generation Persian immigrants. We assimilated heavily into the sort of, like, New England 'elite' energy."

• [06:05] Seerus Vasey: "I was always so concerned about the race card growing up, but I didn't have to deal with being a straight woman. That is easy."

• [28:08] Seerus Vasey: "I was naive to what being an influencer meant."

• [44:06] Seerus Vasey: "Beauty is an act of forgiveness."

• [73:20] Anna Kai: "If you're not okay with that, that's fair. It just means that relationship might not be the right one."

Final Thoughts

This episode of Brutally Anna offers a candid and insightful conversation about the multifaceted challenges of being true to oneself in a world that often demands conformity. Anna Kai and Cyrus Veyssi provide valuable perspectives on race, gender, sexuality, social media, and relationships, encouraging listeners to embrace their unique identities and find strength in their authenticity.

Follow Anna Kai on Social Media:
Instagram: @maybeboth
Snapchat, YouTube, TikTok: Seerus Veyssi
Tune in every Monday for more insightful discussions on Brutally Anna.