How to laugh at death with Kelly Rizzo

Summary

Brutally Anna Episode Summary: "How to Laugh at Death with Kelly Rizzo"

Release Date: December 2, 2024

In this poignant and insightful episode of Brutally Anna, host Anna Kai sits down with Kelly Rizzo, a multifaceted creator and expert who shares her profound journey through love, loss, and self-discovery. The conversation delves deep into Kelly's personal experiences, offering listeners a candid exploration of navigating relationships, coping with unexpected loss, and finding humor amidst tragedy.

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1. Introduction and Kelly's Background

Anna Kai opens the episode by introducing Kelly Rizzo, highlighting her achievements as the creator of the award-winning production company Eat Travel Rock, host of the podcast Comfort Food, and star on Fox's reality series Special Forces. Anna emphasizes Kelly's unconventional path to success, underscoring her resilience and ability to reinvent herself after heartbreaking losses.

Anna Kai [01:00]: "In a society that wants to tell women their life begins or ends at a certain age, my guest today, Kelly Rizzo, has proven that age is merely just a number and that there is no timeline on finding love or living the life you imagined."

Kelly reacts emotionally to the introduction, showcasing her genuine connection and the emotional depth she brings to her narrative.

Kelly Rizzo [01:47]: "I'm gonna cry. That was so lovely."

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2. Early Life and Education

Kelly recounts her high school years, painting a vivid picture of her as both a "biggest slacker" and a member of the National Honor Society—a testament to her complex personality and ability to balance contradictions.

Kelly Rizzo [03:14]: "I was the biggest slacker because I never went to class... but I got really good grades and was in the National Honor Society."

Her college experience at the University of Iowa and later DePaul University is discussed, highlighting her struggle with the family real estate business and her eventual burnout following the 2008 market crash.

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3. Transition to Media and Entrepreneurship

Faced with a failing real estate market and a personal divorce, Kelly decides to pivot to her true passions: food, travel, and music. She launches her own blog, eattravelrock.com, and begins creating content, eventually establishing herself as an influencer and content creator long before the term became mainstream.

Kelly Rizzo [08:48]: "If I'm not going to have my own show... I'm just going to make my own."

Kelly's first brand deals, including her notable stint as a mattress model, illustrate her early forays into monetizing her online presence.

Kelly Rizzo [12:29]: "I had, like, three different mattress ads. And one was a commercial I got paid $1,500 for. Even my agent was like, 'Oh my God, that's crazy.'"

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4. Personal Relationships and Marriages

Kelly shares her experiences with love and loss, beginning with her first marriage at 29, which ended abruptly during the 2008 market crash. She candidly discusses the emotional turmoil and the unexpected nature of her divorce.

Kelly Rizzo [20:16]: "It was just scary because all of a sudden you're like, where am I gonna live? What am I gonna do?"

She also reflects on a subsequent relationship that ended suddenly, emphasizing the recurring theme of unforeseen endings in her romantic life.

Kelly Rizzo [20:53]: "It was like three times back to back where I was like, I didn't even do anything. And my life went from this to this."

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5. Choosing Not to Have Children

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around societal expectations of motherhood and Kelly's personal decision to remain child-free. She challenges the stigma associated with women who choose not to have children, advocating for authenticity in one's life choices.

Kelly Rizzo [27:05]: "People are so scared if they do feel that way to actually say that out loud. But it is a real feeling."

Anna shares her own reflections on motherhood and societal pressures, creating a relatable dialogue about personal choices and societal norms.

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6. Relationship with Bob Saget and Coping with Loss

The heart of the episode centers on Kelly's relationship with Bob Saget, their marriage, and his sudden passing. Kelly describes their meeting, the age difference, and the deep bond they shared.

Kelly Rizzo [38:14]: "Bob just gave me the space to do what I love to do. He was my biggest fan and support system."

Following Bob's unexpected death, Kelly delves into her coping mechanisms, emphasizing the role of humor and open conversations about death. She discusses how Bob's approach to humor about mortality influenced her own healing process.

Kelly Rizzo [45:46]: "And my dad's 83... I had to practice. I couldn’t let myself worry because, of course, everything's fine."

Kelly highlights her newfound ability to talk openly about death through her podcast Comfort Food, where she creates a therapeutic space for others to discuss loss with humor and candor.

Kelly Rizzo [52:10]: "Even just making light of it sometimes helps you feel better, at least in the moment."

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7. Reflections on Death and Afterlife Beliefs

In an introspective segment, Kelly shares her evolving beliefs about death. Raised Protestant but later identifying as a Christian based on logic and scientific reasoning, she expresses a belief in intelligent design and an afterlife.

Kelly Rizzo [62:35]: "I believe that we're here based on some sort of intelligent design, way more intelligent than us."

She recounts a haunting experience during an ocular migraine, where she felt a spiritual connection with Bob even in his absence, further solidifying her beliefs about his continued presence in her life.

Kelly Rizzo [68:15]: "He told me, Auntie Kelly's sick. Uncle Bob told me."

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8. Strength and Resilience

Towards the end of the episode, Kelly discusses her participation in Special Forces, emphasizing the mental challenges over the physical ones. She acknowledges moments of vulnerability and the continuous effort required to maintain emotional strength.

Kelly Rizzo [73:27]: "It's constant work in progress and something that I never thought of until just now is strength. And not physical strength, but emotional strength is."

Anna commends Kelly's ability to inspire and support others through her content, recognizing the mutual support they offer each other in their healing journeys.

Anna Kai [75:54]: "It is such an honor to not only talk to you, but to have you actually enjoy my content on a consumer level."

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9. Closing Thoughts

The episode concludes with heartfelt exchanges between Anna and Kelly, highlighting the importance of community, support, and open dialogue about life's most challenging moments. Kelly expresses gratitude for the opportunity to share her story and help others navigate similar experiences.

Kelly Rizzo [77:35]: "What a treat. Thank you so much and can't wait to feed you on Comfort Food."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Anna Kai [01:00]: "In a society that wants to tell women their life begins or ends at a certain age, my guest today, Kelly Rizzo, has proven that age is merely just a number..."

• Kelly Rizzo [03:14]: "I was the biggest slacker because I never went to class... but I got really good grades and was in the National Honor Society."

• Kelly Rizzo [20:16]: "It was just scary because all of a sudden you're like, where am I gonna live? What am I gonna do?"

• Kelly Rizzo [27:05]: "People are so scared if they do feel that way to actually say that out loud. But it is a real feeling."

• Kelly Rizzo [38:14]: "Bob just gave me the space to do what I love to do. He was my biggest fan and support system."

• Kelly Rizzo [45:46]: "And my dad's 83... I had to practice. I couldn’t let myself worry because, of course, everything's fine."

• Kelly Rizzo [62:35]: "I believe that we're here based on some sort of intelligent design, way more intelligent than us."

• Kelly Rizzo [73:27]: "It's constant work in progress and something that I never thought of until just now is strength. And not physical strength, but emotional strength is."

• Kelly Rizzo [77:35]: "What a treat. Thank you so much and can't wait to feed you on Comfort Food."

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This episode of Brutally Anna offers a raw and authentic look into the complexities of love, loss, and personal growth. Kelly Rizzo's story serves as a beacon of hope and resilience, inspiring listeners to embrace their truths and find humor even in life's darkest moments.

Transcript

[Kelly Rizzo]

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big roas man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laugh at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn you'll be able to reach people who do. Get a hundred dollar credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com campaign to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com campaign. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn the place to be to be. Ready T to m. Hey, wanna hear a PC game pass ad? I take your silence as a yes. Want new games on day one like Call of Black Ops 6 or S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2?

[Anna Kai]

I thought so.

[Kelly Rizzo]

How about unlocking all the League of Legends champions when you link your Riot Games account. All for one low monthly price.

[Anna Kai]

Well, guess what?

[Kelly Rizzo]

We got you. Learn [e-mail] PCGame Pass or click the banner STALKER2. Available November 20, 2024. Game catalog varies by region and over time. And that's the end of the script.

[Anna Kai]

Welcome to Brutally Anna, a podcast about finding love, losing love, and all the things we think about but don't talk about. Enough. I'm your host, Anna Kai, AKA maybe both across social media, here to remind you that life can be beautiful, even when it's freaking brutal. In a society that wants to tell women their life begins or ends at a certain age, my guest today, Kelly Rizzo, has proven that age is merely just a number and that there is no timeline on finding love or living the life you imagined, no matter how unconventional your path. May. She's the creator of the award winning production company Eat Travel Rock, host of the podcast Comfort Food, and a star on Fox's reality series Special Forces. And it's a testament to what we can achieve even after a heartbreaking loss when we push ourselves beyond our mental and physical limits. Thank you so much for being here.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I'm gonna cry. That was so lovely.

[Anna Kai]

Thank you. Great. 20 seconds in, I made my guest cry.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Thank you. Is that a record?

[Anna Kai]

I know, right? That is a record.

[Kelly Rizzo]

No, but it is a good way. In a good way. In a good way.

[Anna Kai]

But your story is something that I've followed for years and I just. It's so interesting to me that you really just sort of have always seemed to like you've marched to the beat of your own drum and you got married at 39. Which, by the way, is an age where women are like, that's a lot older than what a lot of women are.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Marriage by the way.

[Anna Kai]

Oh, it's your second. That I did not uncover.

[Kelly Rizzo]

That was my second.

[Anna Kai]

That was your second. Okay, so that was your second marriage.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I mean, every 10 years, I get married. Every 10 years, yeah. 29, 39, maybe 49. We'll see.

[Anna Kai]

So were you always just sort of this, like, you feel a little bit like a rebel to me in some ways and in the best way possible, but, like, you've just really just sort of live life on your own terms? Like, were you always like that? You were an only child, right?

[Kelly Rizzo]

No, I have two younger sisters.

[Anna Kai]

So you're not an only child, so.

[Kelly Rizzo]

But being the oldest, it's. You do feel like you are kind of the rebellious one, you know, because you're the first one to break the rules, to, like, break your parents in. You know, they've never done it before, so, you know, you're pushing the limits and pushing the boundaries.

[Anna Kai]

Okay.

[Kelly Rizzo]

So my sisters had it a lot easier than I did. You know, I didn't get the new car when I was 16. You know, I had to drive the old beater car for. You know, and so I wasn't spoiled.

[Anna Kai]

Right.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Like, my sisters were so.

[Anna Kai]

Well, by the time they got to your sisters, they gave up.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah, exactly.

[Anna Kai]

They were tired of fighting you.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Exactly. Because, you know, I was this weird enigma, though, because I won the Biggest Slacker award in high school, but also I was in the National Honor Society. So it was very ironic and very paradoxical that I could have those two things. Like, I was the biggest slacker. Cause I never went to class. And I cut class all the time. And I was out smoking pot and smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee like, during school every day. But yet I got really good grades and was in the National Honor Society. And I campaigned really hard for my Biggest Slacker Award. So that's ironic in and of itself. Yes. I, like, worked hard. I, like, made people vote for me. Which is the antithesis of being a.

[Anna Kai]

Slacker, I was gonna say.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah. But anyway, so my parents were very proud. They were very, very proud.

[Anna Kai]

You're a walking contradiction. Yes. And you've always been. So that's. Who were you in high school? Kind of a slacker, but not really.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I was a big tomboy, played sports until I kind of fell in with the stoner crowd and the party crowd and, like, got good grades and was a good student, but yet always kind of the life of the party and going to concerts and hanging out with the boys and smoking cigarettes and, you know, back when. I mean, I don't Know if it was ever cool but cooler, more acceptable, let's say. Yeah. Now it's like, not a thing, but yeah, I was kind of a rebel kid. But at the same time, my parents, you know, didn't worry too much because, you know, I kind of stuck to my curfew and still was a good kid and, you know, got good grades. So it was strange.

[Anna Kai]

It was strange.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I loved high school, A lot of people. I hated high school. I loved high school.

[Anna Kai]

Really? So you did feel like you fit in in high school?

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah. You found yourself. High school is a blast. High school is a blast. And I'm still really close with a lot of my high school friends.

[Anna Kai]

That's amazing. Did you go to your 10 year high school year and year?

[Kelly Rizzo]

I went to the ten year.

[Anna Kai]

Okay.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I did not go to the. I've also had the 20 year and the 25 year, but I did not go to those because I was not living in Chicago at that time.

[Anna Kai]

Okay, so you went to the ten year. What was that like?

[Kelly Rizzo]

It was weird. I think it was my same group of best girlfriends. Like, we, like, went in the bathroom and, like, brought a flask and was, like, doing shots in the bathroom or something. I mean, it was still, like, really. Kelly came out to prove that point. Like, we're like, let's, you know, we.

[Anna Kai]

Still got it right.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah, exactly. We still have the year at 28. Oh, so old at the time, you know.

[Anna Kai]

I know, but you felt like it, I'm sure. So you graduated from high school and then did you go to the University of Iowa? Is that right?

[Kelly Rizzo]

Did that say. Yeah, I went to Iowa and I was there for two years, but then I got a little burned out on the corner and my best friend and I decided we wanted to be city girls again, so we moved back to Chicago. And then I graduated from DePaul University.

[Anna Kai]

Okay.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I was on the seven year undergrad program because I was a slacker, but I finished.

[Anna Kai]

But you finished and you. Did you major in journalism? Did I get there?

[Kelly Rizzo]

I did actually. Well, it was like communications, film and media studies and Italian, so those are right. Yeah. As one does.

[Anna Kai]

As one does. And so you kind of knew you wanted to be in media and journalism, like, pretty early.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I always loved it, but my family business was real estate, and so, you know, I didn't know what to do in the media world. And at the time, like, now it's like, kids graduating nowadays have so many options. Like back. I mean, there was no. I didn't have a cell phone in college. Like, we didn't have. We didn't really even have the Internet.

[Anna Kai]

Right.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Like, when I was in college in, like, the late 90s and early 2000s, I mean, it was still, like, dial up AOL. Like, you didn't really have, you know.

[Anna Kai]

When were you instant messaging? I'm trying to figure out, because I remember AOL Instant Messenger, AIM when I was in middle school. So what was that? College?

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah, so it was. That was more maybe like a late high school, early college situation. Okay. But it was not.

[Anna Kai]

Remember the email lyrics that people would put up on their away messages?

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah, but see, that was even a little bit after my time.

[Anna Kai]

That was after your time. Yeah, that was okay.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah. I wasn't like. We didn't even call it AIM. We just called it, like, AOL, AOL, or on instant messenger. We never even called it AIM. Like, that's.

[Anna Kai]

You're probably old, like three to five years after that. Because my husband's 40.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Okay.

[Anna Kai]

And you're 45. You just turned 45. Right. Happy belated birthday. And he remembers that. He remembers writing a really emo Dave Matthews quote on his, like, away message.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Okay, that would make sense. When Dave Matthews got really big when I was in end of high school, early college. But, you know, my family business was real estate. And my dad was like, you come work with us. Like, this is how you're going to make really good money. This is what you do.

[Anna Kai]

It's a very practical, stable job.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Exactly. So and, you know, that's what I grew up around my whole life. And so I was like, okay, well, I guess I wanted to make money, and I didn't want to do something where I was, like, starting at the bottom and struggling. I was like, oh, here I have these great mentors. I can work with them. So I worked with my parents for, like, 15 years, and we had our own, you know, real estate company. And it went really, really well until it didn't when the market crashed. And then I got very burned out on that. I was Marri 2008 to, like, 2011.

[Anna Kai]

And you got married during the market crash.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

That's happy.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah. That's ballsy, right? And then I just realized I wanted a big change. I was like, after I got divorced and the market crashed and, like, real estate was just sucking and I hated it. And I was like, this is not what I want to do. And I'm like, what am I passionate about? Like, well, food, travel, music. I can talk about that. Like, that's interesting to me. And that's stuff I like to share. So I just went online and bought e travel rock.com and then just started blogging. And then I knew I wanted to do more stuff on camera. So then I started, you know, doing like, backstage interviews with big country artists at, like, country bars in Chicago, which is super random, but it was so fun. And then I got teamed up with my manager at the time, Chantel, who used to be a producer for Oprah. And then she started her own, like, small talent management business in Chicago. And so she started working with me and we started producing our own stuff. And I was like, all right, if I'm not going to have my own show, if, like, NBC and Fox and ABC aren't knocking down my door or Travel Channel to give me a show, then I'm just going to make my own. And then that's just what I started doing. And then it turned. This was way before Instagram. This was before, like, you're an OG blogger.

[Anna Kai]

It's like, it was like, this is.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Before even Instagram, right?

[Anna Kai]

So it's like, I mean, word, maybe.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Instagram exists, but nobody. This was like 2011 12, where Instagram wasn't really big till maybe 13.

[Anna Kai]

Well, this was like the sepia tone Instagram days, where.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And then it was like, with the borders.

[Anna Kai]

And by the way, your page was like your personal Instagram, right? Because I scrolled all the way back there. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm so weird. I think I found. I found your first Instagram post.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Oh, my God. You did. Oh, my God, I'm mortified. It definitely had a border and it definitely had a filter.

[Anna Kai]

Do you remember what it is? I'm going to show it to you.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I feel like I might have been in a colorful top or like. Or with my friend Aggie.

[Anna Kai]

It has a border. Here, I'll show it to you. Oh, my God, that's Aggie.

[Kelly Rizzo]

That's my best friend. That's so funny. I was just on the phone with her on my way here, and the.

[Anna Kai]

Photo is yellow filter.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Oh, my God. Can you see that?

[Anna Kai]

Can we.

[Kelly Rizzo]

It is yellow.

[Anna Kai]

This is a yellow photo.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Oh, my God.

[Anna Kai]

That we thought looked good.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And the border and like the rounded edges. Oh, man. But, yeah, I just. She's still my best friend.

[Anna Kai]

That's amazing.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Oh, my God. What is that? 2013?

[Anna Kai]

2012. 2012.

[Kelly Rizzo]

So this was 12 years ago. Yeah, so that's right around when I started. It was just one of those things where it's like, if you. What do they say? Like, if you can't beat them, join them. But it was more like, well, if you can't join them, beat them. I'm like, all right, I don't need to beat them, but at least I'm going to do my own thing. Yeah, influencers. Like, that wasn't a thing yet either. Like, that term didn't even exist yet when I first started. It wasn't until several years in where I'm like, wait, you can make money posting on Instagram or posting on YouTube or whatever it was. And then, yeah, gradually started doing that to where I was able to phase myself out of real estate and then move into this full time.

[Anna Kai]

What was your first brand deal or moment like, where you were like, this is a career. Like, I can make money from. This is no longer just an escape from my actual career.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Well, Anna, there's a difference between your first paid deal and something where you're like, I've made it.

[Anna Kai]

That's true. That is so true. Because my first paid deal, I was like, it was, I think $500 to promote I Can' Mine.

[Kelly Rizzo]

One of mine was $300 for this apartment building complex in Chicago. Because I was still. Since I was still technically also a realtor, they hired me to do, like, a little hosting thing of, like, their apartment complex. So I remember I got $300 for that. And then I remember I got, for some reason, I did a lot of, like, mattress ads. Like, not in.

[Anna Kai]

Catherine, if you're listening, sponsor her.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Not in. Like, I was like, I can't believe these words are gonna come out. I don't wanna say mattress model. Okay, but like, a mattress, like, spokesperson. Like, I had, like, three.

[Anna Kai]

I kinda love mattress models.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I had, like, three different, like, mattress ads. And one was a commercial that I had done. And I remember one I got paid, like, $1,500 for. And I thought it was the biggest. I was like, oh, my God. Even my agent was like, oh, my God, $1,500. Like, this is crazy.

[Anna Kai]

It was pretty good.

[Kelly Rizzo]

It was good over 10 years ago.

[Anna Kai]

I think you should put former mattress model in your Instagram bio.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I told my boyfriend that recently and he was like, wait, you have to show me this.

[Anna Kai]

I was like, do you have the commercial still commercial?

[Kelly Rizzo]

No, but I have a couple photos from a couple of the ads. Maybe. Maybe I'll show you. So I was a mattress model.

[Anna Kai]

Okay.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah. And then really the big turning point was when I started working with a lot of tourism boards. So then tourism boards would, like, pay me to come to their destination. And then with My production crew and then film videos for them. So that was like a writer. This is. This is a job.

[Anna Kai]

Yeah. And it's a pretty cool one because you get paid to eat and travel.

[Kelly Rizzo]

It was a really weird thing because even when I was younger, I was like, oh, I'd love to be a food critic one day. Can you imagine getting paid to eat? And then it was definitely a pinch me moment when there were some trips. I remember my first trip to Japan that I went on and I got. I mean, it wasn't a lot, but still all expenses paid and then get paid a little bit on top of it to go to Japan. I was like, is this. Is this real? Like, and then, you know, 10 years ago, when that was not as much of a thing, like, my friends were like, wait, you just got paid to go on a vacation? I was like, yeah, it's crazy, right? So, you know, it's a whole different world nowadays that people can really just create any life for themselves that they want. And there really are no limits, and there's really no one to tell you no, because you can truly do whatever you want to do.

[Anna Kai]

And it's so cool now that we get to do this, but it's even cooler getting to talk to you because you were really doing that before. Before it was at all standardized, right? Now it's like, people understand the concept of brand trips and they understand the concept of being paid to create content. But you were just like, I'm just gonna do this and I'm gonna figure it out.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Cause I'm like, I need to start this new life and I want to reinvent myself. And even my dad, who's always very supportive, but, you know, he's the old school Sicilian, born in Sicily. You know, he. In his mind, it's like, no, you work. You know, it's very like Godfather. Like, you work with the family business. This is what you do, right? And when I was like, no, I like doing this TV thing and this, you know, media thing, and he was like, no, no, no, that's not. You know, you come to us, right? And when I wanted to move to la, he was like, no, no, no, no. And then now, when he's seen what it's evolved into now, of course, he's super supportive and very proud. My mom, from day one, was always very, very excited and supportive. So.

[Anna Kai]

Yeah, but it sounds like, you know, my parents, I think in the beginning, always were like, what are you doing with your life? You know, we don't know what you're doing. But you're trying, and so that's what matters. Even though it's an unconventional path, it's like, okay, well, you're not in New York, like, doing drugs and getting high all the time. All the time. And so they were very supportive of that. And it sounds like you had that, which is great because it's kind of a scary thing to, like, go into media and entertainment. I feel like I judge myself on. I mean, did you have any of that? Did you feel like, oh, my God, like, a little bit of imposter syndrome or insecurity about, like, taking this kind of chance on yourself? Or by the time you started to really do this full time, were you like, I'm established enough where, like, I feel credible, I feel legit.

[Kelly Rizzo]

That's interesting. Imposter syndrome, I think, is pretty hard to get away from, no matter who you are, depending on whatever, you know, genre or medium you're in. But I feel like in the TV world, maybe, and in the Hollywood world, maybe I have that a bit more. But I guess in the influencer space, not as much because I've been doing it for so long, like, longer than most. So maybe not in that aspect. But, yeah, I definitely have it from time to time. And it creeps up on you. All of a sudden you're like, oh, you see yourself doing something. You're like, oh, that doesn't look as cool as it should, or doesn't look as good as it should, or you.

[Anna Kai]

Think a thought, you're like, oh, I don't know if I should be here. It's often when I walk into parties or rooms, I'm just like, should I be here? And it's because this is new for me. I'm like, oh, my gosh, was I. No, you were invited. You were supposed to be here, right?

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah, I was talking about that yesterday when I did Special Forces. Even when I'm going to all these big Fox events and press junkets and stuff, and I'm, wait, why am I here? I'm, like, the least famous person here. Like, this is so weird, you know?

[Anna Kai]

And then it's so funny because I don't think I think of you. And I'm like, she must not get that because she's been doing it for so long and entrenched in Hollywood.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I know, but, like. But I'm still, you know, because I'm not an actor, because I'm not a musician, or because I'm not, like, in that, the old school part of the industry, I still feel like an outsider. In a lot of ways, you know?

[Anna Kai]

Yeah.

[Kelly Rizzo]

So, because I'm also not from here, being from Chicago, being, you know, Midwestern gal, I'm always like, oh, you know, now I'm in la. It's. It's la. Like, you have like, even living here now and, like, owning a home, I'm like, it's so weird that I live here. Like, that's so strange. And that I own a house here. Like, I don't. Why? How do I own a house in la? Like, I should be in Chicago. That's where I'm from, you know? And then you definitely get that imposter syndrome, like, no matter what you do.

[Anna Kai]

I feel like that's interesting. It never.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I've talked to people who are huge movie stars that get that from time to time too. It's like, it's. It's kind of inevitable.

[Anna Kai]

I didn't realize you were married prior to your marriage with Bob. And so you get married at 20.

[Kelly Rizzo]

His name wasn't Chad, but it rhymes with Chad.

[Anna Kai]

Okay, but we'll call him Chad for the sake of this podcast.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah, we're friends. We're friends.

[Anna Kai]

Okay.

[Kelly Rizzo]

He wouldn't mind me making fun of him.

[Anna Kai]

Yeah, that's so. Okay. So when did you meet your ex husband and what was that first marriage like?

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah, we met. So he was younger. He was like four years younger than I was. I was like 27. He was 23. Although he did lie about his age for the first few months and said he was 24.

[Anna Kai]

Which, by the way, is not. If you're gonna lie, at least look at, like, significant.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Exactly. No, no. He just apparently thought that maybe that did make a difference because maybe in the beginning I was like, 23. I don't know. But 24 sounds way better. But no, he was working with us in real estate. He worked for our real estate company. And then we were kind of just friends at first, and then we, like, hit it off and we were just really great friends. And we both, like, snowboarded and scuba dived and did all these fun things. And then we got married. And he evolved very quickly from, like, we were in real estate together, and then he started owning nightclubs and then owned, like, a luxury and exotic car rental company. So then he was driving, like, Bentleys and Ferraris around town and owning nightclubs. And so all of a sudden he was like, I don't know if I want to be married anymore. So then literally one day, literally one day, it was like, I don't want to be married anymore.

[Anna Kai]

He said, that to you?

[Kelly Rizzo]

He just said, I don't want to be married anymore.

[Anna Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah. So it was very, very shocking. Did you want to be married? I mean, looking back, I'm like, of course this was for the best. But at the time, we had a gorgeous condo and two dogs and, you know, thought we were going to have this life together. But I mean, looking back, it's like we were best friends. And yes, I loved him and cared about him, but I don't know how in love I was. Right. So ultimately it was for the best. He's remarried now. We're friends. It's cool. Like, you know, no bad blood or anything. But at the time, it was very shocking, right? It was very, very shocking.

[Anna Kai]

And I'm sure you were devastated in a way. Yeah.

[Kelly Rizzo]

It was just scary because all of a sudden you're like, where am I gonna live? What am I gonna do?

[Anna Kai]

How did you guys handle all that? How old were you when you guys.

[Kelly Rizzo]

When we.

[Anna Kai]

You got married? At 29. But then you got married.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah. So it took like a year to get divorced, but it was. I was like 31, 32.

[Anna Kai]

Right. And that's an age where I feel like women are taught, like, oh, you're supposed to have it together in your 30s, in your life.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I had, you know, if we're getting into the weeds, I've had three big back to back situations where the rug was just completely ripped out from under me.

[Anna Kai]

Right.

[Kelly Rizzo]

One was that marriage. And then the other was my ex boyfriend between my first marriage and Bob. And that was a relationship where, oh my God, like, so happy. Two years together, never a fight, crazy, crazy about each other. And then we bought a house together. And the day before we moved into the house, like when I tell you we never even had a fight. Literally the day before we moved in, he sat me down. He was like, like, our boxes were packed, movers coming. The next day, he's like, I can't do this anymore. Never even a fight. Everything was like roses and rainbows. Yeah. And I was just sick to my stomach, like, devastated. Like, could barely function. It was really, really bad. So that was like 2015. And then six months later, I met Bob. And then that was obviously wonderful.

[Anna Kai]

Yeah.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And then rug gets ripped out from under me again with that. So it was like three different times. My life went from like this to this with no. And I mean, I am the first person to accept blame. Or if I'm like, yeah, I kind of fucked that up. Like, ugh, I did. Okay. I could have Handled that better. I did something wrong, you know, but like, obviously, the Bob thing, that was.

[Anna Kai]

There's nobody in a room.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Right, Right. That was just. It was. But what I'm saying, it was like three times back to back to back where I was like, I didn't even do anything. And my life went from this to this, you know, and it's like you.

[Anna Kai]

Didn'T even see it coming.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Right.

[Anna Kai]

And I think that's the telling part. A lot of times when people get divorced or they break up, they're like, yeah, I kind of saw the writing on the wall once. I've gotten dumped before in the past. I'm like, am I surprised? Not really. Am I heartbroken still? Yes. But this sounds like it was absolutely.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Complete out of left field, all three times.

[Anna Kai]

Your ex, in between, you know, your ex husband and Bob, what was his reasoning? Did he ever give you a reasoning? And are you friends with that guy?

[Kelly Rizzo]

No, no, no.

[Anna Kai]

I was like, are you just friends with all your ex husbands?

[Kelly Rizzo]

Oh, God, no. No, no, no, no, no. He. No. Although I did just run into him for the first time.

[Anna Kai]

Oh.

[Kelly Rizzo]

In Vegas over the Super Bowl. But yeah, for the first time in like.

[Anna Kai]

And it's been one in like a decade. A decade. Yeah.

[Kelly Rizzo]

No, not friends with him. Good riddance.

[Anna Kai]

But what was the reasoning?

[Kelly Rizzo]

He said he's like, I want to be a dad right away, like tomorrow. And I don't think you want to be a mom. Looking back, I'm like, okay, you're right. Because I didn't want to be a mom. But at the time, I thought I wanted to. And at the. I certainly never said I didn't want to.

[Anna Kai]

Did you think you wanted to because you knew that's what he wanted?

[Kelly Rizzo]

Maybe.

[Anna Kai]

Yeah.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Here's the thing. I never really wanted that.

[Anna Kai]

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[Kelly Rizzo]

But I just assumed, I'm like, that's what you do.

[Anna Kai]

Yeah.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And so I was like, okay, it's gonna happen one day. I'm just gonna suck it up, right? And then of course, when it happens, like you love your child and then all the thoughts of I didn't want to do that, go out the window and you're like, okay, now I'm happy. I love my kid. But I was always like, ugh, that looks hard. I don't know if that's for me. But I was like, but I'll do it. But I'll do it.

[Anna Kai]

But I think that, you know, there's actually, I just saw this today. There was a really interesting article that came up and I need to read the whole thing on the cut where this woman talks about and she did have the child. And people always say how your life is transformed when you have a child. All these people are Asking me, what's motherhood? Like, have you reached any epiphanies? And she's like, no, I love my child. It is not about that. But I felt love for so many people in my life prior to having my child that it is not any different, in a way. And she's like, I keep feeling like people expect women because it's almost like people don't ask men that. They don't ask, like, how's fatherhood? You know, they just kind of expect, oh, you, the dad's doing the dad stuff, the dad's doing the dad stuff, and you love your kid and you move on. But people are expecting women to have this, like, you know, momentous, transformative experience when they have children. And I have so many girlfriends that are like, I love my kid, but I still want my life from before I had my kid. You know, I have girlfriends who are like, I wanna work. And in fact, a lot of them are like, I wanna work now that I've had a kid. Because I realize, like, being a full time mom is fucking hard.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

You know, she's like, my girlfriend was like, I want to go back to work and do a PowerPoint because at least I can take a lunch break, you know, and can we just normalize.

[Kelly Rizzo]

That a little bit? Because I think there has been this weird stigma around women who decide to not have kids. And also I've been seeing it much more normalized now. Like on TikTok, I've been seeing all these videos maybe because it's kind of in my algorithm where people are saying, you know, yeah, I had kids and I love my kids, but if I could go back and do it over, I wouldn't do it. And that's something that was so taboo to say. And it's like super controversial, but it is real. Like, people are so scared if they do feel that way to actually say that out loud.

[Anna Kai]

Yeah.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And. But it's a real feeling, and it's a real feeling that people actually have. So it's like, why is that so horrible to talk about? Doesn't mean you don't love your child, of course. Like, you would never give them back.

[Anna Kai]

But, like, it's not like you have to regret it to say, hey, if I knew what I was in for, I wouldn't do it the way. And you know what? I'm an only child and my mom had me at a really inopportune time. I was, you know, my parents were married, but it was not planned and they were just immigrating to the Us, they had no money. They didn't speak the language. And I always ask her, I'm like, why didn't you abort me? I would abort me because, like, you had no resources. And she's like, well, we just kind of figured. And they're not very religious people, so I don't know where this is coming from. She's like, well, I just figured God gave you to us when he did, and we were gonna have a kid anyways, and we did it. But, like, now looking back, I have conversations with him like, would you do that all over again, or would you have waited five years? She was like, I would have waited five years. Cause that was insane what we did. Yeah.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Thankfully. Here, here. Because, you know, that worked out pretty great. And of course, when can see, you know, your beautiful, healthy, successful child, you're like, oh, that was great. But it doesn't mean that it's wrong to be like, you know, maybe it wasn't. Maybe being a parent wasn't for me. Or maybe being a parent isn't for me. Like, for me even my parents were like, don't you want to have a kid? Like, we want to have grandkids. I'm like, I. I don't see myself doing it, you know? And it really took Bob and him kind of making that decision. And not like, I'm, you know, I couldn't make my own decision. But when we started dating, you know, I was 37, and he was like, 59, almost 60. And, you know, he had three grown daughters. He would always joke, D.J. stuff, Michelle. And, you know, he had three grown daughters who are absolutely lovely and wonderful. And he's like. Like, I don't think I want to go through that again. He goes, but I'll give you the option. Like, maybe. Maybe. Like, we'll see. I was like, okay. I just like having the option. And then right before I moved to LA to move in with him, he's like, we got to talk. I. I'm 60. Like, I can't.

[Anna Kai]

I can't do it.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And I was like, I don't blame. I don't want to be pushing a stroller now. I wouldn't want to do it at 65.

[Anna Kai]

Right.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And he was like, I just can't. And I totally understand if this is. If you want to do that. Like, I. You know, no hard feelings. Like, I get it if you. That's something you want. And I was like, did you ever watch Sex and the City?

[Anna Kai]

Yeah. And I know what you're about to say.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I Talk about it all the time because it is the best quote ever. When Carrie was dating the Russian, you know, Alexander Petrovsky, and she and Charlotte were talking, and Charlotte's like, I don't understand. How could you give up a baby for a man you hardly know? And she's like, why would I give up a man for a baby I hardly know I want? And I was like, oh. Like, that spoke to me even years before meeting Bob. And then I was like, why would I give up this wonderful man? What, to like, maybe meet somebody else in the next few years? And what if then I meet somebody and have a kid and then they end up sucking anyway? And then I get divorced, you know, So I chose Bob.

[Anna Kai]

And I think it's interesting because I always encourage women not to give up what they want for a man. Right. And I think if you take what. That situation at face value, it's like, oh, you gave up your desire to have children for Bob, but the reality is you never felt that strongly about kids.

[Kelly Rizzo]

No.

[Anna Kai]

And you never. And you didn't really want children. And I feel like maybe you didn't want kids, but you felt like you should want kids because that's what you should want. Right. And I think it was almost probably the hardest decision to say, I'm going to choose the man over the children. Because I almost feel like it would have. People would have understood more if you were like, I'm leaving Bob because I know what I want. I want children and whatever. Because that's kind of what society expects of women. It's like, oh, that's so good. You're sticking your ground. You wanna be a mom one day, and don't let a man take that from you. But the reality is you don't wanna be a mom. Not in that sense. I know you're a stepmom and everything, but that's very different. And it's a very different thing to ra your own screaming child and to give birth and to go through all that.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah. And I don't think Bob. He didn't take away anything from me. He almost gave.

[Anna Kai]

He reinforced it.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Right. And almost gave me the opportunity to really realize that that wasn't for me. Because once I made the decision and then I knew, I'm like, okay, I'm married now. Like, you know, obviously I didn't see what happened happening, but I'm like, okay, so this is going to take me well past my, you know, childbearing years.

[Anna Kai]

And did you ever even think about freezing your eggs or anything like that?

[Kelly Rizzo]

I thought about it for a second, and I remember Bob was a little, like, almost not hurt, but he was a little. He's like, why would you want to do that? Oh, so you're thinking, like, if something doesn't work out with us, you've got a backup plan, you know? Like, he's very sensitive always.

[Anna Kai]

I agree.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And I was like, that is not what I'm thinking. I'm like, I don't know. Like, it's just an insurance policy, you know?

[Anna Kai]

Yeah.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And now I'm like, I'm glad I didn't need to do that. But it's. It was just something that every year since, I was just more and more secure in that decision versus feeling the other way, which easily could have gone that way. Being, like, seeing my friends with kids and my sister having kids and being like, oh, God, I want. But every year, I was, like, more and more sure that I did it. And then when I had my nieces. Well, my sister had my nieces when they were born, and they look just like me, which is weird. They don't look like my sister. They look like me. I'm like, oh, my God. And they say, like, I love you, Auntie Kel. You know, I'm like, oh. So it's like, I have my little kids, but, like, I don't have to do anything.

[Anna Kai]

But you get to give them back. That's what my girlfriend says. She has one of my close girlfriends, her sister has five children.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Oh, wow.

[Anna Kai]

All girls. I know her sister has five kids, and she's like, I love my nieces. And she's, like, the best aunt. You know, she's the cool aunt that, like, buys some stuff and everything like that. But she's like, there's nothing better than giving them back after an afternoon of spending, you know, all day with him at, like, the carnival or something like that. And so she's like. She's realized that, and she. She's like, we. I want a kid with my husband, but, like, a kid.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah. What are your thoughts? What do you want? What are. What's.

[Anna Kai]

We want children. But I.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Multiple.

[Anna Kai]

No, actually, I don't know. I don't know. We're gonna start with one.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Children is multiple.

[Anna Kai]

We want a child.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Okay.

[Anna Kai]

And I think we're leaning towards because I'm an only child, and I really like being an only child. I'm like, weird. Like, that word. I think a lot of only kids are like, oh, I wish I had a sibling, or because I was an only child, I want a huge family. I love being an only. So I don't. You know, people are like, oh, only children are fucked up. Yeah, I'm fucked up. But would I have been more fucked up or less fucked up if I had a brother or sister? Probably not.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Everyone's fucked up. No matter which way. There's. It's just different. It's like, choose your fucked up.

[Anna Kai]

I know. You know, choose your trauma.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah, exactly.

[Anna Kai]

But I think the thing is, it's like. And I've heard this, we have a friend actually, out in Chicago, and she and her husband both have very, very big careers, and they both love their careers. And they were like, we made a conscious decision to have one child. One and done. Because at two kids, somebody's career takes a hit, and it's usually the woman's because there's a lot of the mental load that they talk about with being the mom. Right. And so I'm 33. I'm going to be 34. And so my husband just turned 40. We're at the age where it's like, we should have a kid by now, but we're not quite ready. And so we've been toying around the idea of freezing my eggs or freezing an embryo because we're together and everything. Freezing embryos this year just to delay it an extra year or two. But I think the thing is, I have never been the person similar to you. Like, I've never felt that, like, maternal pull. You know, people always talk to me about in my 20s. They were like, you'll just feel it. Something will shift in you. When you're 30, your ovaries will start singing. I remember somebody said that to me, and I was waiting for it, and I turned 29, and I turned 30, and then I turned 31, and I just never felt it. I wasn't like, I have to be a mom now. So do you, like, you know, and you.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And me. Yeah. I never felt that. That I was. It was more every year. I was like, I just don't. I just don't think that's. For me. Like, I. And the funny thing is people call it selfish.

[Anna Kai]

You know, I think it's more selfish to have a kid that you don't really know if you want.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Well, a thousand percent. But people will say, you know, I'm like, well, I kind of like just laying around and not having any responsibilities. And people are like, well, that's selfish. I'm like, well, but wouldn't it be more selfish to bring a child into this world that, you know, I don't know. I mean, of course, you know, I'm not going to be a deadbeat mom.

[Anna Kai]

Right.

[Kelly Rizzo]

You know, like, I would figure it out. I would make it happen. Like, I would be a good mom. But, you know, if you're. I. I've seen even like in that TikTok where people say, if it's not 100% yes, then it's a no yes. You know, like, it needs to be 100%. Like, you need to be all in and being like, I. Yes, of course things happen, not planned. But I'm saying if you're planning it, you need to be like, I really want to do this.

[Anna Kai]

Right.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Versus, like, eh, well, I don't really want to, but let's just see what happens.

[Anna Kai]

Right. Or I should want to because that's the logical next step at my age. Or after you get married and all of that. But I think that's what's cool about your marriage to Bob is that he really reinforced who you were. And I think that's what the best marriages and relationships are like, is like. I feel like my husband brought out, like, my true personality. Even though, like, I thought I knew who I was, but before I met him and then I met him, and I was like, oh, I can just even be more of myself now. And like, do you feel like Bob did that for you?

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah, he just gave me the space to. And be, you know, the support to just do what I wanted to do and do what I loved. And, you know, he would get a little. He's like, oh, you're traveling again, huh? You're leaving me again? I'm like, I'll be back in three days. Relax, you know? Right. But he, yeah, gave me the space to do what I love to do. And he was so supportive and just such. Just my biggest fan, my biggest support system. He was just so wonderful.

[Anna Kai]

You guys met in 2015, right, through a friend?

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah, early 2016. For some reason, a lot of things say 2015.

[Anna Kai]

Yeah.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Which is funny because that's when I was still with my ex and I was like, good, let him think that.

[Anna Kai]

I was still married.

[Kelly Rizzo]

But yeah, yeah, yeah, no. So 2016, we. No, he found me. We were both on. He kind of would tell the story sometimes. But here's real truth is that we were both on Raya. He saw me on it, but we didn't connect on it because he wasn't in my age range. So he saw me on it and then went to my Instagram and then he, like, liked my Instagram and. But he Re. No. He reached out to a mutual friend who was in media in Chicago, who's a radio host and just assumed, because, you know, Chicago's kind of a small world when it comes to this stuff. He's like, hey, do you know this Kelly Rizzo girl? And he was like, yeah, I do, actually. And Bob goes, is she a bit. And that's his first question? Yeah, first question. And he goes, no. I mean, I hear she's actually really nice. And he's like, I think I want to send her a dm. Like, can you let her know that I'll be sending her a dm? So, like, this guy got a message to me saying Bob Saget was going to DM me. And I was like, oh, why? Like, I was just not into it at first because I'm like, it's not really my type. He's so much older. Blah, blah, blah, blah. But then. And I was like, that's kind of weird. Like, that's Danny Tanner. Like, I can't date him. Like, what? Like, it was just very strange at first. Even though I wasn't, like, a Mega Full House fan or something, it was still weird because it was still somebody who I had always known of, like, growing up and. But he was pretty persistent, and we were just kind of friendly at first, but then I came out to LA and we hung out a couple times, and I was like, damn it. Like, he's wonderful. Shit. I'm like, I can't have a crush on Bob Saget. That's weird. But then he was just like. So he was, like, younger than I was. He was like, so much fun, and just. We got along so great and had so much fun together. And I was like, all right, let's do this.

[Anna Kai]

What did your family and friends say when you told them, I'm dating Bob Saget and then I'm marrying Bob Saget and what, the age gap is 23 years, right?

[Kelly Rizzo]

The dating thing was weirder for them than the married thing, because by the time the married thing came around, they loved him and they were very, very happy. And everyone, by that point, like, got it. You know, they understood the situation. But the dating thing, initially, they were a little caught off guard. They're like, wait, what? And they're like, isn't he, like, a dirty comedian? Isn't he kind of dirty? And I was like, so, like, it's. I was actually. Listen to it. Like, it's actually nowhere near as bad as a lot of people, right? And. And they were a little concerned about the age thing. And then, especially when I was considering, like moving out to la, there they were, you know, my parents were being good parents. Like, are you sure you want to do this? Like, you're now going to give up having kids? Is that really what you want to do? And. But then the more they got to know him and love him, they're like, okay, we get it. Like, he was so wonderful. His girls are so wonderful. Like, still to this day now, one of his daughters lives in la, so I, I'm going to see her tonight. Like, I'm with them all the time and then the middle one still comes and spends every Christmas with my family. I mean, so it's. I'm very close to them, so, I mean, they're such a gift. So he and his family were like, such a gift to me.

[Anna Kai]

So I think the worst part about anything unconventional in terms of like being a woman, not having children and marrying a man older is like, the public loves to scrutinize everything you do. And even now in your healing process, I find, because sometimes you'll respond to these comments on your TikTok, like how brutal people's comments are to you and how they feel like you should be healing in a certain way or anything because you started dating very long after you lost Bob. And somebody's like, oh, it's too soon. And it's like, it's been two years.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I mean, everyone's gonna have an opinion. And I mean, here's the thing, and I'm sure you understand this too. Like, for the vast majority, and for the most part, I've gotten 99.99% of just love and support. And 99 plus percent of all of my comments are just wonderful. People saying, like, we're so happy for you. Like, it broke my heart when this happened to Bob. And just seeing you happy is, everyone is saying wonderful things, but I'll pull out and extract one of the negative comments. Not for me, not because I need to make an example of them or because it hurt my feelings, because it doesn't. Because I have so much overwhelming support, but there are some people in my situation who don't, right? And so when I pull out one of those negative comments of somebody saying, like, like, I made some video talking about Bob recently, and then somebody's like, don't you have a new boyfriend? Like, what does that have to do with it?

[Anna Kai]

Right?

[Kelly Rizzo]

And so I'm like, people don't understand that if you lost a spouse that if you move forward, I don't even say move on. If you move forward with somebody else, it does not negate your love for the spouse that you lost. Like, the two things can exist simultaneously.

[Anna Kai]

And still be true.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And so I, you know, address those few negative comments so that way I can start the discussion. So that way then I get a million more comments pouring in that are positive. So all the people who are also going through this and read those comments feel the support.

[Anna Kai]

That's the community there, right?

[Kelly Rizzo]

And feel like. Because then I get all the comments of like, my, you know, my dad just died, my mom's moving forward, and I actually was judging her a little bit. But now I listened to this and now I'm going to look at what she's doing differently. Or, you know, I just lost my husband and I was so scared to move forward. But, like, now I'm going to, you know, so anything like that, that I can kind of have a voice for people who are going through something similar, then that's why I'm doing it. And the funny thing is, and it's, you know, a headline in People magazine, like, Kelly Rizzo slaps back to critics slamming her new relation. I'm like, no, I have so much. Everyone is so kind and supportive. I'm pulling out the one comment so that way I can start the discussion that can hopefully help other people who maybe don't have the voice or the support.

[Anna Kai]

But I love what your followers say in response to kind of the very few negative comments.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I told that person to shut up. Like, people are idiots.

[Anna Kai]

The thing is, the one that I loved was that she was like, you know what? Bob's not coming back. And so what is she supposed to do? Just spend the. And you're still so young. What are you supposed to do? Spend the rest of your life in mourning?

[Kelly Rizzo]

Right?

[Anna Kai]

And so. And you deserve companionship. And, you know, some people choose not to find a partner after a spouse dies. But like, it's very different. You're 45.

[Kelly Rizzo]

You know, people saw how if people lived in my house with me that first year and saw the amount of tears and gut wrenching phone calls to my sisters and the amount of just like fetal position crying that I did every single day for like a year, it's like, be like, okay, we'll give her some grace here because you deserve to be happy.

[Anna Kai]

Right?

[Kelly Rizzo]

It's just, it's so silly. And it's, you know, until you've gone through it, like, you, you don't really have a leg to stand on in it because you don't get it. How you truly can still love and respect and care about your person, and then love and respect and care about somebody new. And those two things can exist simultaneously as long as the new person receives. Respects that.

[Anna Kai]

Right.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And they need to do that.

[Anna Kai]

I think you said you were afraid for a long time you wouldn't meet somebody that would understand that Bob is always going to be a part of your life.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

So how did you meet Breen?

[Kelly Rizzo]

We met through. It was one of Bob's dearest friends. Is one of Brecken's best friends. Okay, so mutual friend.

[Anna Kai]

Did you know Breen while you were married to Brecken? Had you ever met him?

[Kelly Rizzo]

A couple times, but he didn't. In passing right through Bob, like, right, Bob. Like, they loved each other. You know, Bob adored Brecken. I mean, they weren't close, but they were friendly, like, ran in similar circles. And, you know, like, we'd be out somewhere probably like, oh, there's Brecken. I'm going to go say hi. You know, so he. He always loved Brecken. And then, you know, I hadn't seen him probably in years or whatever. And then we met at this event and then just right away hit it off. And because we had the mutual friends that kind of assured him, like, no, it's okay to, you know, because I'm.

[Anna Kai]

Sure he didn't want to tread on.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Right, exactly. That was the thing, you know, he didn't want to because he was very respectful and cautious and cared about Bob and that situation. And also, you know, he was like, what if I wasn't ready? Or whatever. And, yeah, right away I was just, like, chatting with him, and then he was chatting with me. And so it was a mutual thing. Pretty quickly to where he was like, okay, like, this is acceptable. Like, you know, she's ready, and I'm not stepping on any toes here or anything like that.

[Anna Kai]

So how long did you date before you went public? You and Bob were so public, and then afterwards, there were so many eyes on you. Because it's kind of like, yeah, I mean, it was.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And it wasn't even anything that we were, like, hiding. We just hadn't gone to, like, a public thing yet together. Yeah, it was maybe five months or six months or something like that. You know, I didn't start seeing him until it was 18 months, 20 months or something after Bob. So always, you know, a long time after. And. But yeah, and then several months after was when we had our first thing, which people were like, they started dating in February. I was like, well, we didn't start dating the day we went public. That would be weird. Like, hey, nice to meet you. Wanna go to this red carpet with me? That'd be strange.

[Anna Kai]

I think about death a lot more now in my 30s than I ever did in my 20s. And part of that was I lost my grandfather last year. And it's interesting because I was very naive to death in general because I never had to think about it. I mean, for so long as a child, I was growing up and I was in survival mode with my parents. And then in my 20s, I was just trying to figure out how to and pay my rent. And, you know, my life is the best it's ever been. But because of that, and then, you know, compounded with the fact that I lost my grandfather last year, I was like, oh, like, it feels like I have something to lose now. And I was reminded that you don't live forever, because in my 20s I was like, you know, you kind of sort of feel invincible. You're not thinking about death. And I think a lot about death now and how, like, none of nothing is permanent and how everything I love right now is going to go away one day. And it's, like, horrifying. But it's also amazing because it really, really focuses me on the present. And as somebody who's always, like, thinking ahead, it kind of grounds me. I mean, what were your thoughts on death prior to losing to Bob? Did you think about it and what has it changed for you after?

[Kelly Rizzo]

Very good question. I was always very terrified of it. And it was always something that I was super anxious about. Like, I mean, not my own necessarily, but death of my loved ones. Always had severe anxiety around it. Always had massive worry and anxiety about catastrophizing and thinking that the worst was always gonna happen. Oh, yes. I can't get ahold of my parents. They were in a car accident.

[Anna Kai]

Yes, I know. When my mom doesn't text me back for half an hour, I'm like, where are you? Are you dead? And she's like, oh, no, I went out for a walk without my phone.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Exactly. Who does that? Like, how dare you? Honestly?

[Anna Kai]

Right.

[Kelly Rizzo]

It's my whole life. Ever since I was a little kid, I always thought somebody was going to be in some horrible accident or something. And then as well, it's not funny, but interesting that I remember right before everything happened with Bob, you know, he was always telling me, he's like, you have to stop worrying. You're going to give yourself a disease. You're going to give yourself an autoimmune. Disease, you're going to give yourself. Like, he was always saying, like, stop worrying. You have to stop. And he's like, the bad things you worry about never happen. Like, so why are you worrying? And I was like, yeah, good point. You're right. So literally, like, that day when I couldn't get a hold of him that day, January 9, 2022, and it was like, weird, but I'm like, okay, I'm going to practice. What he told me, not going to worry because of course everything's fine. And so literally there was like an hour where I, like, wouldn't let myself worry. And then of course, it ended up being the worst fucking day of my life where the absolute worst thing happened. So I was like. Part of me was like, well, okay, that happened once. What are the odds that will ever happen again? But then part of me is like, well, it shows that the worst thing can happen, right? So, you know, that was a weird thing to actually be confronted, like, smacked in the face with death and like, a very, very visceral, sudden, raw way and then also have to deal with it very publicly. It was, like, very strange. It was very surreal for a long time. But then, you know, Bob talked about death all the time. He lost a lot of people in his life. Both of his sisters, both of his parents, a ton of family, a ton of best friends. You know, even just like his comedian best friends like Rodney Dangerfield and Norm MacDonald died just a few months before Bob did. And Bob was devastated. They were so close. So he would just constantly talk about death and he would also make light of it. So you want to be a marketer? It's easy. You just have to score a ton of leads and figure out a way to turn them all into customers. Plus manage a dozen channels, write a million blogs, and launch a hundred campaigns all at once. When that's done, simply make your socials go viral and bring in record profits. No sweat. Okay, fine, it's a lot of sweat. But with HubSpot's AI powered marketing tools, launching benchmark breaking campaigns is easier than ever. Get [e-mail] marketers.

[Anna Kai]

This episode is brought.

[Kelly Rizzo]

To you by SkinnyPop. Popcorn. Perfectly popped. Endlessly delicious. Oh, so light and crunchy. Skinny Pop Original Popcorn is the snack you've been searching for. Made with just three simple ingredients. Popcorn kernels, sunflower oil, and salt. Snacking never felt or tasted so good. Perfectly popped, endlessly delicious. Give yourself permission to snack and pick up Skinny Pop Original Popcorn today. You know, didn't make it less upsetting for him, but he was. It was his way of coping. And he would joke about things, like he. To where I was like, you can't joke about that. And he was like, yeah, I can joke about whatever the fuck I want to joke about. Like, it happened to me. This is my. Like, my sister died. I can joke about it if I want, if it makes me feel better. And I was like, interesting. I like that perspective, you know? And then after Bob passed, and then I'm surrounded by comedians and some of, like, the greatest comedians in the world who are cracking jokes, even, like, at Bob's funeral. And I was like, wait, like, it's okay to laugh at this stuff. And even if it's not okay, I mean, it helps you feel better, at least in the moment. And so, like, I get it now. And so then I start a podcast called Comfort Food, where literally all I do is talk about death all day, every day, like, with all of these people. And it's been very therapeutic and very cathartic, and we do make light of it sometimes. A lot of my guests have been comedians. We talk about death and, you know, try to make it a little bit more palatable, a little bit more light. I feed everyone. That's why I'm like, you gotta come on the podcast soon. I'm gonna feed you. You know, I try to make a little bit light of it because that's what Bob used to do. Like, for instance, with my parents, who are both alive and very happily married still 50 years later, and they're, you know, my dad's 75, mom's 83. You know, like, my sisters, like, never want to talk about, like, the inevitable one day and now, like, that, like, I lost my husband. You know, like, for me, it's like, we got to talk about this stuff. Like, it's not weird for me to talk about death anymore. And, like, losing a loved one. I know it's not fun, but, you know, when I say things like, well, one day when mom and dad, they're like, no, oh, don't. I don't even want to talk about it. I'm like, we have. Like, you have to talk about.

[Anna Kai]

Because you don't know when that one day is going to be.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Right? You don't know. And then the more you kind of talk about it and normalize it, that when it happens, even if it's less shocking by 1%, then at least that 1% helps a little bit, you know?

[Anna Kai]

Right. And I think it's so interesting is that you said you don't know until you go through it. Right? Like, I don't know what it's like to lose my husband at an age where it doesn't feel like we should lose our husbands. Right? So I'm never going to know that unless it happens to me, which knock on all the fucking wood. But I think I was naive to how I would feel about death until I experienced it, because I always thought my grandfather was 95 when he passed. And he passed peacefully surrounded by his family in China. And so he went the way that we all want to go. And so. And we knew it was coming. And he had lived actually a very healthy life up until maybe the last year or two when he really needed assisted care. And so I thought what had happened that I would be okay with it, that it wasn't going to be that sad. And I think I was shocked at how gutted I was after it happened. And then I had all these weird feelings where I was like, I don't feel like I have the right to be sad because people like Kelly lost her husband at 45, and I lost my grandfather at 33, and he was 95 and he lived a great life. And my dad had lost his mom very, very suddenly when he was 24. She died in a car accident. And so, you know, I think about that and I'm like, it's so interesting because, like, I can barely keep it together, losing my grandfather when that's expected. And so there was all this strange feelings that I had about death because I just felt like, you know, I don't have a right to be this sad.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Right. But see, that's also relative because I feel the same way. When I look at a mother who lost her child, I'm like, I lost my 65 year old husband who lived this brilliant, amazing life and who literally changed the world and made an impact on this planet. That's all that anyone could ever ask for. And I got to be in his life for six years. How lucky am I? Like, I don't almost get to have a voice in this world because there are mothers who have lost their children. There's always going to be somebody who's going to have a more difficult, sadder.

[Anna Kai]

Story because we had a chance to say goodbye. You know, we had closure in a way, even though it always sucks when it inevitably does happen. But you didn't have closure. And in many aspects of your life, you didn't have closure with your divorce and the breakup with your ex. How do you give yourself closure when somebody you love passes away so suddenly. And your husband.

[Kelly Rizzo]

It took a while. You know, everyone's like, just forgive him. You'll feel better. And there's some form of that that existed eventually, but for me, it was just truly knowing that I really. It. It wasn't about me. It really wasn't about me. And that was very helpful. And then also finding some level of, like, forgiveness for it to where you don't have the bitterness, because bitterness is very hard to move on from.

[Anna Kai]

And I'm sure you were angry for a while at the circumstances and everything.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Angry, hurt, confused. My sister has a great theory about, you know, why he did what he did. That gave me a lot of peace. But with Bob, I was able. And once again, I'm saying this, knowing that there are people out there who, let's say, lost a child or something, are like, oh, really? It's so easy to find peace and closure for me. With Bob, I saw what an impact he made. And I saw. I mean, you probably, like, people were blown away by the outpouring of love that came in for him that's still coming in for him. It's like nothing. It was like. And this is not me being delusional about. He was my husband. So, you know.

[Anna Kai]

No, no, no, no.

[Kelly Rizzo]

It was like Princess Diana. And then Bob, like, it was crazy like that. That year in Google, the number one search was Queen Elizabeth. Number two was Bob Saget. Literally, right? It was crazy. And it was. It was like, he's like Queen Elizabeth, like Covid. It was. It was crazy. And so the outpouring of love and support was very helpful. But then seeing, accepting and appreciating the fact that, okay, yeah, 65 nowadays is very, very young, but at the same time, you know, he wasn't 20. He did get a chance to live a full life. He had three adult children who were beautiful, wonderful people. He got to see them grow up. He changed the world in such wonderful ways by, you know, sharing his message of love and laughter. And I was able to come to peace or a place of peace pretty quickly by just being like, wow, how lucky was I that I got to be with that special of a human for six years? Most people never even had the chance to know him. And I got to be with him for six years, like, lucky me. And so it was just the gratitude gave me a sense of. I mean, it's not really closure, but of peace with it, where I like that it's peace.

[Anna Kai]

You're not necessarily. I don't know if you ever find Closure, you know?

[Kelly Rizzo]

No, because there's always, always, you know, with what? When is when somebody passes suddenly from an accident that is, you know, there's always that, like, what if. What if he came home a day early? What if I could have called him and kept him on the phone for an hour? Like. Like, there's always something of, like, what if this was different? What if that was different? But it is what it is, right? Can't change it. So instead of the what ifs, just you have to accept it and try to look for the positives and try to find the gratitude in it. And I'm so grateful that I got to be in his life, that he got to be in my life, that I still get to be in his kids lives and that I get to have this opportunity to always talk about Bob. Like, I will forever be talking about Bob. Like, I'm sorry if people get sick of it, but I will forever be talking about Bob because he deserves it.

[Anna Kai]

And I love that. It's like, kind of be glad it happened. Don't be sad that it's over. In a way. Focus on the fact that you even had that experience with him.

[Kelly Rizzo]

As I said, that's probably easier said than done for me, than, let's say, for someone, A, lost a child, or B, you know, you're 25 years old, you just got married to your high school sweetheart, and then he's taken away in an accident, and. And you're like, we didn't even get. He didn't even get to live his life at all yet. He didn't get to do anything yet. Like, we just started out. Like, this isn't, you know, something like that would be also very, very heartbreaking too. But for Bob, yes, he. In his mind, he was Gonna Live to 115, and he never wanted to stop. He always said he's like, I'm gonna be doing what Don Rickles did. I'm gonna be on stage, even if I have to be in a wheelchair. Like, I'm always gonna be doing that stuff.

[Anna Kai]

But that's how he stayed so youthful, you know? You said you felt like he was younger than you.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Oh, my God. We would, like, go out to nightclubs, and he'd be like, partying harder than I would. And he'd be like, have more energy than I would. And I'd be like, can we go to bed? It's midnight. He's like, what?

[Anna Kai]

We're just getting started.

[Kelly Rizzo]

We're in Vegas. Come on. It's like he had a chance to make A difference. So that's kind of all we can ever really ask for.

[Anna Kai]

What do you believe happens when we die? Because I assume you've had to think about that. And I was not raised with any sort of religion. And you're Sicilian, so I imagine you were raised Catholic.

[Kelly Rizzo]

You'd think my dad was. I was technically. Oh God. This is, this would be a very, very long story, but I'll give you the very short one minute version. You know, technically I was baptized Protestant because my mom is, you know, German and Irish from Indiana.

[Anna Kai]

Okay.

[Kelly Rizzo]

But then I was like a hardcore atheist for like 25 years. My, you know, my, it was kind of complicated, but like my dad, my whole family kind of was. And then, then I became a Christian, but also just started believing in God like later, I mean not later in life but in my 20s, late 20s after coming to it sheerly based on logic and science. Like I literally looked at like, I applied principles of like logic and scientific reasoning to how on earth are we here? And the probability of certain things. And I was like, it doesn't, logically things don't make sense that this just randomly happens, happened there. I'm not saying what it is out there. I'm saying that we're here based on some sort of intelligent design, way more intelligent than us.

[Anna Kai]

I agree with you. I 100% agree.

[Kelly Rizzo]

So that's why, you know, being an atheist then didn't make sense to me anymore. And then, and then same thing. Like I, I did a lot of research. I was like, so a lot of people who, let's say are religious are religious their whole lives because that's what they grew up with. But for me, I came to it and even became a Christian like later on after a lot of like research and like reading and studying and not like, well, this is what my parents said.

[Anna Kai]

Right.

[Kelly Rizzo]

So this is, you know, so obviously being a Christian then you, you know, believe that there's a better place that we're going to go to after this. And I definitely don't think that everyone has all the answers. I don't know exactly what that place looks like. I don't know if you know, obviously we're going to find out one day, but while we're here we're not going to know. So you just have to kind of, that's at some point where faith comes in. You know, like I could do all the studying and reasoning and logic applications that I wanted to do, but at some point, at some point you just have to believe. Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

Do you believe, Bob? Is still here in some form. Has he paid you a visit in any way?

[Kelly Rizzo]

I feel that there were more, and I'm not super big on, like, the signs, but I did notice there were more signs in the beginning. There were a couple very interesting things that happened that were pretty crazy. And I was, like, not a big sign person, but that's crazy.

[Anna Kai]

It's, like, undeniable.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah. Okay. I'll tell you one example that's really intense. Have you ever heard of a. An ocular migraine or a migraine with aura?

[Anna Kai]

I have, but I don't know what that is.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Okay. So I'd never had one. I was at my house with my sister, and I was, like, doing the dishes, totally fine, not stressed out or anything. And all of a sudden, like, I couldn't see. And at the time, I didn't know what it was because I'd never had it before. So I thought I was like, oh, my God, I'm having a stroke. Because I. There are all these, like, little flickering lights.

[Anna Kai]

Yeah.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And my vision started getting really weird. And then all of a sudden, my sister's right in front of me, But I couldn't see her face. It was, like, blacked out.

[Anna Kai]

Gosh.

[Kelly Rizzo]

And I was like, kristen, I can't see. And she was like, what? And I was like, I can't see. And she's like, okay, calm down. You know, she called my doctor. He's like. He was like, at the Hollywood bowl or something, and he's like, I'll call you back in a little bit. And at this point, I'm freaking out because you think that I start having. I see. Start seeing, like, kaleidoscope stuff on this side, and then it starts migrating to the front, and then it starts migrating to this side. So it's, like, crazy. Like, psychedelics.

[Anna Kai]

Like, you.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Drugs before. I was like, this is. And I was like, did I do drugs? I was like, I don't think I did.

[Anna Kai]

I put in that drug.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Right. I was like, right? I was like, did I do. I don't think so. And anyway, so it was really freaking me out. I, like, literally couldn't see. And this was really trippy. Literally trippy. And so my sister left the room for a minute. And I remember I was looking at Bob's photo, and I was, like, praying to God, like, please don't let me be having a stroke or, like, some heart attack or, like, somebody ready to join you, Bob. And then I was looking at Bob, and, like, I was praying to God, and then, like, praying to Bob. And being like. I was like, honey, please help me. Like, help me. Like, this. I'm so scared. Like, what is going on? Like, help me. Like, please. Like, I'm so scared. And then, anyway, point is, it kind of resolved itself that my doctor's like, I think you had an ocular migraine. Then I looked it up, and it was. That's what it was. Anyway, the next day, my sister calls me, My other sister in Chicago, the mother of my nieces, and my niece Alexandra, who's like, two and a half at the time. She and Bob had, like, a very special relationship. And keep in mind, I had not talked to anyone in my family other than my sister was with me. And my sister Kimmy calls me, and she's like, hey. Like, what's going on? And I told her what happened, and she's like, that's weird. I was like, what do you mean? She goes, alexandra came up to me this morning and said, mommy, Auntie Kelly's sick. And Kimmy's like, what do you mean? She goes, auntie Kelly's sick? Uncle Bob told me. Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

Oh, my God.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Isn't that insane? Like, it makes you, like, want to cry even thinking about it. Like. Like what? Like, the timing.

[Anna Kai]

Chills.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

Oh, my gosh.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Auntie Kelly's sick. Uncle Bob. Auntie Kelly's sick, and Auntie Kelly scared. Uncle Bob told me.

[Anna Kai]

But they. You know, they say, like, kids can see things we can't because they're so much more open. They talk about the veil or whatever, and they can, like, see past that. That's like, your.

[Kelly Rizzo]

So, like, how on earth would that have happened unless there was something weir on.

[Anna Kai]

I know.

[Kelly Rizzo]

You know, I'm just. I'm just saying, do with that what you like. But, yeah, so that's like, one of those things that. There were a few things like that, but that was the most intense for sure.

[Anna Kai]

That's. That's not. Like, I don't really believe in coincidences. And, like, that's not.

[Kelly Rizzo]

That's weird, right?

[Anna Kai]

That's weird. That is weird. Like, thank you. That's not a coincidence.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah.

[Anna Kai]

I don't get what you believe in. That's so weird.

[Kelly Rizzo]

So I was like, there's something. There's something going on where in some way he's, you know, involved or watching over. And then, you know. And then, of course, you feel weird when you're, like, in a. Your relationship. You're like, okay, don't watch over me that much, because, you know, you're. But it's so funny. We, like, even. Even his girls, like, we all say that, you know, my new boyfriend's, like, the one person on earth he'd be, like, okay with. Where. Like, he wouldn't be thrilled. Like, he wouldn't be thrilled about anybody. But we're like, you wouldn't be mad about this one. Like, he'd be okay with it.

[Anna Kai]

He'd be.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah, he'd be, like, the one person he'd approve of.

[Anna Kai]

That's funny. Maybe he sent him.

[Kelly Rizzo]

You know what? That has occurred to me as well. That's occurred to a bunch of us.

[Anna Kai]

So, I mean, yeah, you go from Bob to Brecken.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Bob to Brecken. And, like, it's. They really did have a respect for each other and like, each other. I'm sure he was gonna send me anyone. This at least makes sense.

[Anna Kai]

This does make sense. This tracks as tracks. So I wanna end on this question, because you not only have endured insane loss in your life, but you've also endured a lot of physical pain that you put yourself through willingly on Special Forces.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Isn't that crazy? Why did I do that?

[Anna Kai]

Why did you do that? Oh, my gosh. I just. I'm so curious as to what the last couple years has taught you about what you can endure because you were, you know, you were thrown into this situation with Bob, but then you also chose to be in a different kind of situation with Special Forces. In a way. Did you do Special Force to try and just prove to yourself that you could endure physical pain or.

[Kelly Rizzo]

A thousand percent? It was. It's more mental. Special Forces, like, anyone could win that challenge or the show. It's. It's. It's a mental thing. Like, you don't have to be a professional athlete or a Navy SEAL to win the show. I mean, if you look at the people who won the last two seasons, they were. They were not. So. I have always had such an immense fascination with and respect for the military and, like, the Special Forces, especially, like, Navy seals and stuff. I'm like, that's so cool. Like, how do they do, like, they get to do the cool stuff? Like. Like, oh, they're such badasses, right? And like, I love the movie GI Jane in the 90s. I'm like, oh, if I ever get to do that, I'm taking that opportunity. And so when this opportunity came up, I was like, there's no way I'm passing this up. This is a once in a lifetime shot. And I've always considered myself to be, like, pretty athletic and pretty strong and, like, mentally Strong in a sense, especially after what I went through with Bob. Everyone's like, you're so strong. And I'm like, not really, but everyone says it, so let's check it out. So, yeah, I mean, it was. Mentally, I think I could have stayed in longer, but it just. It. That last day that I was there beat my ass so hard physically that there was. I mean, there was just no way. It got to the point where I was like, I can maybe keep going, but at what cost? Because I could do some very serious damage to my body here. And, like, is that worth it?

[Anna Kai]

Right?

[Kelly Rizzo]

You know, so I do kind of regret leaving. And I've told Fox. I'm like, can you please do, like, an All Star season or, like, a redemption season? Because I want to go back. If a white van pulled up and, like, opened the door and was like, get in. We're going to wherever, I'd be like, I'm in. I'd go back in a heartbeat. And I will say, like, the other day, I was, like, getting in my pool and it was, like, a little cold. And I think, God, was. I. I don't know if I was with my boyfriend or friend. I. I forget who it was. And the pool was, like, a little cold. It was like 75. And I was like, being a baby about. And then I was like, no, I did special Forces. I got in a frozen lake in the middle of New Zealand in the winter and had to be completely submerged in a lake where they had to cut a hole with a chainsaw into the ice this thick. And they made us go in that water like a frozen lake. And I was like, come on, Kelly, don't be a little bitch. Like, get in that 75 degree pool. But now that's what goes through my head all the time. It gave me this thing, like, if I did that, I can do this, right?

[Anna Kai]

And if you can survive the loss of your husband, really, what can you not do is what I think, mentally.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Thank you. Well, I will. I will try to implement that because you. You do lose. It's very easy to lose sight of things when challenges come up and you start to, you know, be a little soft and not as strong as you'd want to be. But then there are things like this that, I'm okay, I can do this. I can do this, I can do this. So.

[Anna Kai]

But it's kind of refreshing to hear you admit that it feels like you have it all together and that you've endured this incredible loss and you've gone through, you know, this incredible physical test, and I'm like, wow, she must be invincible. But it's like, oh, the humanity of you. And, like, why I think you're so relatable is that you're still figuring it out too.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Thank you. Oh, yeah. It's constant work in progress and something that I never. I'm sure other people have said this a million times, but something I never thought of until just now is strength. And not physical strength, but emotional strength is. You have to practice at it. Just like when you're working out, you know, you're not just strong right off the bat. Like, you have to work out and go to the gym. Well.

[Anna Kai]

And if you don't work it out, the muscle atrophies. And that's what I find is that, like, I feel strong some moments and then I, like, kind of let go and I don't work on, you know, whatever it is that helps me stay grounded. And then I lose sight of what's important.

[Kelly Rizzo]

So it's easy to lose it and. But it's also easy to build it back up if you then remember the things that you did get through. And you're like, okay, I'm gonna take what I learned from that, apply it to this. Know that, you know, everything will be used together for good in some way. Like, we might not understand it right now, but we're gonna understand it one day. So that's what I try to. What I try to do is like, okay, even with the Bob thing, even with whatever it is, I'm like, good will come out of this, right? So I just wanna say to you, if you don't. If you don't mind, I don't mind flipping the script a little bit here. What you do is so incredible. And I know that, you know, you started making these videos where you're, you know, speaking to women about, you know, oh, you got in this crappy relationship and you did this and you did this, and, like, here's how to stay positive. And it's just evolved into this platform where you are helping so many people. And your, you know, whether it's wisdom you've gotten just from all of your own experiences or from friends and things that you've just learned. Life, like, the way you're so eloquently able to pass that knowledge and wisdom on is very, very special. And very few people have that ability. I mean, I know because, I mean, I see how hard it is, like, I can't do what you do and, like, have this, you know, a one minute succinct. Video that is so profound and really has, like, this amazing lesson in every single video. It is just very impressive and you are really helping so many people. So I just want to say even thank you personally, because so many of your videos have helped me.

[Anna Kai]

Thank you.

[Kelly Rizzo]

I'm so happy to meet you.

[Anna Kai]

I think that is the biggest honor that I could help somebody like you because I've watched you and I've, like, you know, and it's. It's so interesting because I too, also have days where I get lost in the muck of just, like, this life, and, like, I lose sight of how great this is that I get to make this a career. And at the end of the day, you know, because there's always moments where you're tired and you're just like, oh, my gosh, like, what is this, like, that I've chosen for myself or, like, I don't feel like creating and I have to get online. I have to be inspirational. But I think the thing is, it is cool. I never set out to help people, and I don't mean to be like, I didn't want to help people, but, like, I don't. It was never. I never thought I could help people because I was always just trying to survive.

[Kelly Rizzo]

You're just sharing advice and sharing things you've learned, and then it kind of evolved into this.

[Anna Kai]

I was just trying to survive. Honestly, I was like, what am I good at? I was 30 years old, unemployed, in the middle of the pandemic, and I was like, this is my quarter life crisis. And so thank. It is such an honor to not only talk to you, but to have you actually enjoy my content on a consumer level. Like, that is the biggest honor ever and is just, like, a great reminder on days when I am struggling. I'm gonna remember what you said. So thank you so, so much.

[Kelly Rizzo]

That means a lot that I was able to help in some small way. Like, literally on my way over here, I was telling my sister that I was coming here, and I said, I think I was like, you've gotta know her. She starts with these. She calls guys Chaz. And then she starts with this motivational thing. At the end, she takes her lip gloss and she slams it down defiantly with authority. She goes, I love her. It's like I follow her. I was like, we never talked about this.

[Anna Kai]

Shout out to Kelly's sister.

[Kelly Rizzo]

Yeah, Kristen, we love you.

[Anna Kai]

Thanks. Thanks, Kristen. Well, thank you so much, and I hope to continue helping, but I'm also just so grateful I got to meet you in person and cheers to many more in real life meetings.

[Kelly Rizzo]

What a treat. Thank you so much and can't wait to feed you on comfort food.

[Anna Kai]

I can't wait.

[Kelly Rizzo]

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