← Build with Leila Hormozi
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What's up, guys? Welcome back to Build. And today we are going to talk about something that every entrepreneur deals with at some point in time, which is getting stuck in a funk and how to get out of it. So this episode has come to be because I myself have felt like I've been in a funk, and I have not, until the last, like, 48 hours, felt like I have gotten out of it. And I wanted to share that because I think a lot of people watch my content and they. You know, it's like when you see somebody and you don't know them personally, you just think, like, oh, that bad things must never happen to them. They must never feel like they're in a funk. They must always be able to just, you know, get to it. And honestly, for the most part, when stuff happens, I can get through it. And I am pretty good at sticking to the plan. Um, in fact, I'm very good at sticking to plan. But I think it was, like, the compilation of just, like, so many things. So basically, like, I got back from winter break, if you can call it that. I guess we did that this year. So we closed for, like, 10 days, the company, which. I don't know if I'd do that again, but tbd. So we got back from that, and I was super excited to get back to work. And for the first week that I was back, I was really excited. I was like, all these really cool things I'm doing for Q1, and then literally, within a matter of 10 days, and then 10 days later, within a matter of 48 hours, I got hit with, like, four big problems. Messy, disgusting situations to deal with. And they're not ones that are going to end quickly. They're ones that are going to take months, possibly years to deal with. And I was just like, what the hell? And it kind of threw me through a loop because it was so much at once. It wasn't because of any one thing. It was that it all hit at once. And I was like, damn. Like, I just told my team, hey, this is what I'm focused on for Q1. And then all this shit just hit my plate, and I'm like, how am I gonna do all this and all this? And so I was feeling, like, a little bit down, a little bit frustrated, to be honest. Like, if I'm being completely transparent, it's been harder for me, or at least it was for the last month, to show up well for my team. And I knew that, like, my discretionary time and effort typically goes towards, like, how do I Make this team better. How do I help my team? How do I help them get ahead? And instead, it was going to like, how do I get all this done? How do I show up? Okay, how do I, like, keep my shit together? You know, Because I wasn't feeling emotionally great, because, one, just the sheer load of work that I had on my plate, and two, just the nature of it being, like, shitty. Like, just not stuff I wanted to work on. And then, you know, about a week into that, I got sick. And I was like, oh, my God, I cannot get sick because I have these things that I'm. I have to do, and I have people flying in, and I have things I'm flying in for, and I have people that are coming here, and I'm committed. I can't. I can't cancel these things. Like, if I'm sick, I still gotta show up. And so I did. And then I got more sick, and then getting more sick, it, like, caused more issues. And I got these infections, and it has just been like. It was so shitty. And that is what actually really put me into a funk, was getting sick. Because then none of my extra time or energy was going towards thinking about my business, thinking about my team, thinking about my relationships. It was just like, oh, my God, I feel like shit. Everything hurts. I have a fever, and I still have to do these things. I'm not gonna lie. It was, like, probably the worst month I've had in a long time. You know, I don't do well when I don't have good energy. I don't do well when I'm sick. And I'm just gonna admit that now. And I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that. Like, there's not much that can stop me unless, like, physically I can't keep going. And, you know, I pushed through having a fever. I pushed through these other things, not because I thought it was a smart idea, but because I didn't really know what else to do when I have thousands of people relying on me. I kind of got to show up for some shit. And so I did, but then it turned into a worse infection, and then I felt even worse, and I just was a little down. And then I spent a lot of time alone because, you know, I didn't want to get Alex sick, didn't want to get my team sick. And so then I'm isolated, and it just did not feel good, you know, it just didn't feel good at all. And so in coming out of that in the last few days, I really started thinking about getting how people get into funks and how to stop a funk from compounding, because I think it's something that I've taught myself to catch over the years. Because what used to happen is, like, something bad would happen to me in business and I would allow it to let me spiral. And that. Actually, I got reminded of that because a couple days ago we had a workshop at the headquarters and I had four different people ask me about, like, getting out of their own way, how to stop spiraling. Like, it was just like, not what I'm used to. Usually people ask me, like, very business specific questions. Instead, it was very heady and I was like, I don't know if this is, like something in the air, if it's damn full moon, which I don't believe in or what, but, like, there is something, whatever. And so I started thinking about that and I was like, you know, I remember, gosh, six years ago in my business when there was a period of time where I had to essentially rebuild a team from the ground up. And it was such a shit time for me because, you know, I had to fire these people who should have never been hired. I had to replace leaders that, you know, clearly were adversarial towards me and the company. I had to. And everyone blamed me, Everyone didn't like me, and I was made to be the villain. I allowed it to get me into a funk for, like, a good six months. Like, for six months, I don't feel like I showed up well for my team. What took me perspective and time to realize is that when it rains, it pours. Because you left the windows open, right? You leave the windows open, you do a rain dance. You are asking for more rain. And that is what I learned out of that time in my life. Because here's the thing. The good news about a spiral is that you can stop it because you cause it. I was sitting there, you know, at my desk this morning, actually thinking about this for myself, because I was like, you know, I still don't feel a hundred percent, but I feel a lot better. And I was like, you know, what do I do differently now than what I used to do? And then I was like, you know, I think that would be a great podcast, because of course, I haven't recorded any in the last few weeks because I've been sick and I've had a very sore throat. I kind of want to walk you guys through the things that I was writing down for myself so that you, if you're going through a time where you feel like you're in a funk. If you feel like you're spiraling, if you feel like things are going wrong, maybe you're just not feeling like yourself. I hope this helps because genuinely, like, shit is hard enough in business. And if you make it harder on yourself, it's just going to feel impossible at times. And so this is how I stop myself from making it harder than it needs to be. So typically what happens, right, is a bad event happens. It could be something like a client cancels, a deal falls through, sales are slow, somebody quits, right? And then you start reacting emotionally instead of logically, and you start thinking things like, why does this always happen to me? Why does this have to happen at once? Why does this suck so much? I don't want to do this. I don't want to deal with this right now. Why does one more thing have to happen? And then because of those negative thoughts that you're having, you allow them to change. You know, they create these feelings in your body and then your behavior changes, you get stressed. And maybe because you're stressed, you make worse decisions. Or maybe because you're stressed or you're frustrated or sad, you delay action. Or maybe because of your stress, you avoid responsibility. And then by that action you take because of how you're feeling, you create more problems, right? Maybe you stop following up with prospects. Maybe you stop pushing sales. Maybe you stop showing up for your team. Maybe you get distracted by other nonsense. Maybe you forget about that project you're pushing forward. Maybe you forget about the promise you made to that big client. Maybe you forget to do your one on ones with your team. And then what happens? Then what happens is more things go wrong, right? Because of your energy, because of your attitude, because your actions make it worse. And so when it rains, it pours because you leave the fucking windows open. And this is something I tell myself all the time. I'm like, if it feels like it's pouring when it's raining, it's because you're making it pour, right? And so here's the first step that I do in these situations is I fucking own it. If I'm spiraling, it's probably because I'm making it fucking worse. Probably because I'm catastrophizing in my mind. Probably because I'm thinking worst case scenario. Probably because I'm allowing myself to go into this, like, animalistic way of thinking. But the great news about that is because I'm the problem, I can also be the solution, right? A lot of people what they think is, they. They're like, oh, my God, I lost my job and then I lost my girlfriend. And then I, you know, got out of shape and then I this. And, you know, when it rains, it pours. It's like, no, you did that. You allowed one bad event to domino everything else in your life. And the reality is, what I've realized is that you have to intervene when it comes to the action. Like, you cannot continue to allow bad things to change your behavior. That's why for myself, like, pretty much, unless I'm very sick, like I just was, I don't change the fact that I work out. I don't change the commitments I have. I don't change the things I'm gonna do. I don't change the way I show up for my team because I know that if I change my behavior based on my feelings, I'm actually just gonna make things worse. I'm gonna make things worse. And so what do we wanna do Once we've realized that we're in a spiral? We'll realize that we've put ourselves in a funky. Right? We need to reset our mind and break the cycle. So I want to teach you this framework that's from Albert Ellis. I'm sure lots of people since him have copied him and sell you some information on how to change your behavior. It's all based on him, okay? He's like the godfather of rational thinking. And so if you are somebody who gets, like, very anxious or even very angry, he's a great person to research. He has some really good books. I think I've read all of them, except for. Though his one's on anger. Cause I just. I don't have the anger. I only have the stress and anxiety. So now that you know you're in a funk, we're going to break down how to use his formula to get yourself out of it. So his formula is pretty simple. It's called abc. A stands for adversity, B stands for belief, and C stands for consequence. Okay? So what it means is A, adversity, something bad happens. B, belief, what you tell yourself about that bad thing that just happened and circumstances, how you act because of what you told yourself about the bad thing that happened. Okay? Something bad happens, you then make up a story about it, right? You create a belief about it. Right? And beliefs don't have to be true. And then because of that belief, you act a certain way. So here's where most people screw up and put themselves into a perpetual funk or a spiral. They screw up at B, AKA belief, they tell themselves shitty ass stuff. I'm gonna. I'm gonna trademark that shitty ass stuff. This always happens to me. I suck at this. I suck at business. I'm doomed. I'm never gonna be good enough. I'm never gonna get out of this. Things are always gonna be hard. Oh, my God, I'm lose my business, my marriage, my everything. I'm fat. Guess what? If you believe that and you act like it's true, avoiding problems, making bad calls, you dig yourself deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper. And so what you have to realize and what I have had to teach myself is that something bad, quote bad can happen. And I don't have to form a belief that doesn't help me after it. Something bad can happen, and I can choose to believe that it's going to work in my best favor. Something bad can happen and I can choose to decide to decide that it's going to help me, not hurt me or. Right, I can ignore the thoughts about the fact that it can hurt me, right? I can say, yep, I have those thoughts, but they're not useful, therefore, fuck it, I don't wanna think about them. If you want to fix this, what you really wanna do is this. You wanna catch that irrational thought that you're having once that situation has occurred, right? And here, here's how you fix it, okay? Instead of, you know, say you have the irrational thought, I'm failing. Say something to yourself like, I'm facing a challenge. Instead of saying something like, I don't know what to do. I have no idea what's going on. I don't know how I'm gonna get out of this. Say something like, I just haven't quite figured it out yet. So one thing that we do when we're spiraling or when we're in a funk is that we make things out to be worse than they are by the words we use. We need to be very careful about the language we use when you describe how we feel, because it truly changes your emotions. There have been so many studies on this, guys. You can literally, by detracting somebody's heart rate, the way that they speak about their thoughts and their feelings changes how they actually have a physical response in their body. For me, for example, you know, someone will be like, oh, how are you? And I'm like, you know, I'm not that great, but I'm gonna be okay. And they're like, why? And then I'll tell them all these things that are happening and they're like, oh my God, that sounds awful. I'm like, no, it's fine. And people are like, are you suppressing your feelings? No. But me fucking blowing up, you think that's gonna help me? Me freaking out, that's not gonna help me. That's not gonna teach me that I'm resilient and can get through challenges. And it won't teach you either. And so instead of making it out to be this big thing, I'm so anxious. I'm failing, I'm doomed. My business is going to blow up. Everyone's going to leave. I'm not going to have any employees, all my customers are going to be gone. I'm not going to have any money. Okay, talk about, like, let's ask ourselves this, right? That's the worst case scenario thought. What's the most likely case scenario thought, okay, this is going to be challenging, but I'm going to figure it out. I might lose a couple customers, but I'm not going to lose all my customers. I'm going to be able to get more. Maybe some, some people are gonna leave. But you know what? That's okay. Because if they leave, they're probably never meant to be here. So it's really that you wanna catch that irrational thought and then you wanna replace it with something that's actually reasonable. Right? Because the reality is, is that the first thought that pops in your brain, it's usually not the one that you wanna stick with, right? Now, once you've caught the thought, some questions that can help you. I would say, how do I put this? Like, get, get to where I just showed you. Which is like a more reasonable thought to select. Is asking yourself some questions. Like, one, is this actually true? Is it absolutely true? What is the absolute worst case scenario of what happens? How do you know it's true? How do you know that's the worst case scenario? How likely do you think that worst case scenario is to happen? Those are some of the thoughts that I asked myself. And then usually it comes out with like, no, I've survived worse. No, usually these things are temporary. No, I mean, likely something, yes, won't be ideal, but it's not going to be the end of the world. I am still here today and I've had worse things happen. And then I start realizing, okay, okay, I've been in these situations before and like, yes, it's not typically the worst case scenario that occurs. Right? And then once you've asked yourself those questions, that's when you can replace it with those productive thoughts and beliefs. Right. Things, like, I figured out harder things before, and you know what? I'm here today. The only way to get through this is to just get through it. And so I might as well have a positive mindset and try to get something good from it. Every problem has a solution. Maybe I haven't found it yet, but I will find it as long as I keep working on it. See, the thing is, is that you can choose what to focus on. And so stop focusing on these garbage thoughts, right, and these beliefs and start focusing on something that's going to be useful for you. A lot of the times when people feel like they're spiraling or they feel like they're in a funk, they think that it's like some external circumstance that's creating it, but the reality is it's. It's an internal circumstance. You know, for me, in the last week, I know that I didn't show up as my best version of myself. I know that I could have done better. And I know that a lot of it was because I just allowed myself to indulge in some of those irrational thoughts. You know, I literally, at one point, because I'd been sick for about 12 days, I was like, what if I'm never better? And then I literally had it. I never. I'm be honest, I don't have these thoughts around, like, sickness and health stuff, but I was like, what if I never get better? What if I'm literally going to be sick for, like, months? What if I. What if I never get my energy back? And I was like, oh, my God. And then I was like, that would be off, isn't it? And then I was like, wait, no. I was like, even if it happened, you would learn to live with it, and you would learn and you'd figure it out. Layla, you have figured out worse, and you have dealt with worse before. And it's funny, because then I didn't feel like there was a sense of urgency to get out of the situation because I was like, you know what? Maybe it would suck. Yeah, it would suck, but I'd be okay. And I've been okay with worse things in the past, right? And so it's really looking at challenging the irrational thoughts and beliefs we have, asking yourself the questions that you can identify them and then replacing them with new, productive and realistic thoughts and beliefs. And then what's the last step to that? So once we have decided, we've, you know, written on paper or we've talked and hypothesized these in our head, we need to take action. Okay? The truth is this, waiting to feel better before you take action is like waiting to get in shape before you go to the gym. Okay? You don't need motivation, you need momentum. Okay, you don't need motivation, you need momentum right now. If you're spiraling or if you feel stuck, you have momentum in the wrong direction or you have no momentum at all. And so you need to just get some. You need to take some step. So here's what you can do. Pick one action that you can take. Not busy work, not like scrolling work, not something that avoids something else, just something that will move the needle for you. Whether it's in your personal life, your professional life, whatever it might be, Wherever the area you're feeling like you're in a funk or spiral is. Okay, maybe it's you follow up with a lead. Maybe it's you fixed out one thing that's slowing down your business. Maybe it's you have that one tough conversation. Maybe it's you call that one person who can help you. Maybe it's you change your environment. Maybe you've been stuck in your home office. Get the fuck out. Go work at a new spot, take a 10 minute walk, shake up your routine. Maybe you need a pattern break and your brain needs to see something different. Maybe you need to talk to somebody smarter than you. Okay, if you're spiraling, get around people who think bigger, who move faster, who will get you out of your head and they will snap you the fuck out of it real quick. Okay? Do anything, it doesn't matter. But you need to get out of your head and you need to get into your life. If you do these things, I promise you this, you will get out of a funk and you will get out of a spiral much faster than you think you can. Because it doesn't take that much action before you start to feel better. And eventually you start to feel like yourself. Now here's the thing, and here's the question, right? How do you avoid getting stuck again? I want to argue this because a lot of people ask me this, well, how do I make sure I don't get in a funk again? I'm like, it's not really about making sure you don't get in a funk again. It's actually just about how much you can reduce the time to getting out of the funk. Like plenty of people get in a funk for like a minute. Plenty of people get a funk for a couple hours. Plenty of people get in a funk for a few days. You know, the people who get in funks or spirals that allow it to hurt their lives are the ones who stay in it for days, weeks, months. And so it's really about reducing the time that it takes for you to get back to baseline. And you do that by becoming aware faster. Okay? Now there are some things that I think you can do to raise your awareness around this stuff and keep yourself sharp so that you don't get into these things. Like, I do think having some non negotiables that you stick to every day is important. Doing important deep work, moving your body, seeing people you love, getting shit done. I think all those things keep you sharp. I think tracking your wins and talking about the things that are going well, I think a lot of the times we want to focus on the problems. And if you only focus on the problems, you're always going to feel like you're losing, right? And so if you have people that you can share your wins with, you can share your progress with, like, or maybe you just talk about it on social media, whatever it might be for you, that's going to help you too. Because sometimes we're spiraling simply because we're ignoring the positive and we're only focusing on amplifying the negative. My final thoughts are this. Everybody hits rough patches, right? The ones that win are simply the ones who pull themselves out faster. It's not that you avoid it, it's not that it never happens to you. It's just that you get better at catching it and therefore you can get yourself out of it faster than a lot of other people would. My challenge to you today is if you're going through a rough patch, if you feel like you're stuck, if you feel like you might be spiraling, take one action today that moves you forward. No overthinking, no excuses, no indulging in fear, just fucking do it.