Podcast Summary: Build with Leila Hormozi

Episode 324: 3 Tools To Use When Learning To Trust Yourself

Host: Leila Hormozi
Release Date: October 22, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Leila Hormozi shares a deeply personal story centered on the struggle to trust oneself, particularly in the aftermath of a manipulative and traumatic experience with a therapist. She opens up about the emotional turmoil, recovery, and the transformative tools she used to rebuild her trust in herself. This episode diverges from Leila’s usual business-centric topics, offering vulnerable insights applicable to anyone dealing with betrayal, self-doubt, or personal setbacks.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Catalyst Experience: Betrayal by a Trusted Professional

• [00:01–05:30]
  Leila recounts seeking therapy during a challenging period in her personal and professional life. Instead of help, she encountered a manipulative therapist who began distorting her reality, urging extreme actions, and undermining her self-trust.
  • She highlights how psychological manipulation often starts subtly (“breadcrumbs”), escalating over time.
  • For weeks, she internalized the negative framing, leading to severe anxiety and panic attacks.
  • “I really believed that all these things that I always, for my whole life had thought were good were actually bad. It was a really hard time for me…” (Leila, 06:40)
• [05:30–10:45]
  Leila discusses the aftermath—feeling disoriented, vulnerable, and ashamed, which led to a period of withdrawal and intense self-doubt.

2. The Turning Point: Taking Agency in Recovery

• [10:45–16:30] After two weeks of emotional turmoil, Leila decides to reclaim agency over her recovery by self-educating in psychology and therapy, intentionally not seeking further outside help immediately.
  • She avoided modern self-help media and instead sourced wisdom from established psychology texts, aiming to rebuild trust in her own ability to discern truth and heal.
  • “The only thing I know is that I will not fucking stop until I get out of this situation. And I have the power to do that. Nobody else.” (Leila, 14:20)

The Three Tools for Learning to Trust Yourself

1. The Power of Framing

• [17:00–24:00] The first technique Leila employed was reframing how she viewed her own strengths and weaknesses.
  • Her manipulator reframed her core strengths as flaws, causing her deep confusion and shame.
  • Leila learned to accept uncertainty and live with imperfection: “Maybe these things that make me me and that are strengths are also weaknesses... maybe there’s something wrong with me and that’s okay.” (Leila, 19:25)
  • “Nobody should ever have more authority over your story than you do.” (Leila, 20:58)
  • Reframing the narrative for oneself disrupts shame and restores personal power.

2. Bringing Shame into the Light

• [24:00–30:00] The second tool is about dissolving shame by speaking openly about pain and struggle.
  • Shame thrives in secrecy and darkness; bringing one’s story into the open strips it of its power.
  • “Shame can only exist in the dark.” (Leila, 25:05)
  • By vulnerably sharing her story with others, even before fully understanding it herself, Leila found both relief and empowerment.

3. Facing the Source of Trauma Directly

• [30:00–37:00] The third tool is confronting trauma—not in avoidance, but by walking straight into the discomfort.
  • Leila defines trauma as “an adverse event that permanently changes your behavior.” (Leila, 31:15)
  • She deliberately revisited triggering places and thoughts to diminish their power over her.
  • This process didn’t restore her to her previous state—it transformed her into a new, more resilient version.
  • “When I did that, what I got on the other side... wasn’t the version of myself that had been prior. It was a completely new version of myself—a version that trusts herself so much more deeply because she learned what happens when she doesn’t.” (Leila, 34:20)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On self-blame:
  “It’s hard for me to admit… I’m the type of person that the reason the situation was so hard for me is that I take such ownership over everything that when it was happening, I didn’t see… how it could be on them.” (Leila, 09:10)

• On reclaiming personal narrative:
  “This story has no power over me if I’m the narrator. It only has power when you let other people tell it.” (Leila, 26:55)

• On embracing imperfection:
  “Maybe I do have a bunch of fucking problems. So what? …I’m not going to be fucking ashamed. I’m not going to hide. I’m going to talk about it.” (Leila, 21:40)

• On support versus self-direction:
  “…The person who’s got the most insight on your life is you.” (Leila, 37:30)

Key Takeaways & Message to Listeners

[38:00–End]
Leila closes by encouraging listeners not to be ashamed of their vulnerabilities or setbacks. Trust in oneself, even after profound betrayal or failure, is possible—and deeply empowering.

• “If you let somebody outside yourself influence you… if you have a setback… so what. Nobody’s perfect. It’s okay. Just get back up and try again.” (Leila, 40:20)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:01–05:30: Story introduction, initial betrayal
• 05:30–10:45: Emotional fallout and self-doubt
• 10:45–16:30: Taking responsibility and self-education
• 17:00–24:00: Tool 1: Power of framing
• 24:00–30:00: Tool 2: Shame only exists in the dark
• 30:00–37:00: Tool 3: Confronting trauma directly
• 38:00–End: Final thoughts, encouragement, and conclusion

Summary

This honest and intimate episode is a guide for anyone wrestling with self-trust after adversity. Leila Hormozi uses her personal journey through manipulation and recovery to illustrate three practical, transformative tools: reframing your narrative, dissolving shame through openness, and confronting your trauma directly. Her raw storytelling, direct language, and unwavering honesty offer listeners not just hope, but practical strategies to reclaim agency and build unshakeable self-trust.