Podcast Summary: "All Feelings Are Welcome, All Behaviours Are Not | Ep 307"

Title: All Feelings Are Welcome, All Behaviours Are Not
Host: Leila Hormozi
Release Date: August 11, 2025
Podcast: Build with Leila Hormozi

In Episode 307 of Build with Leila Hormozi, titled "All Feelings Are Welcome, All Behaviours Are Not," host Leila Hormozi delves deep into the critical distinction between acknowledging emotions and controlling behaviors in both personal and professional settings. This episode offers profound insights into emotional intelligence, leadership, and the pitfalls of emotional enabling.

Introduction: The Cost of Unmanaged Emotions [00:00 - 05:00]

Leila begins by sharing a pivotal experience from three years prior in Cabo, Mexico. She was involved in negotiating a $25 million deal that ultimately fell apart—not due to external factors like market changes but because one individual couldn't manage their emotions. This incident underscores the episode's central theme: emotions themselves are not problematic, but allowing them to dictate behavior can lead to significant losses.

“All feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not.” — Leila Hormozi [02:30]

Personal Anecdote: The Jake Story [05:01 - 15:00]

Leila recounts a personal story about a team member, referred to as Jake, whose unmanaged emotions led to a cascade of negative outcomes, including missed deadlines, strained team relationships, and a costly $10 million mistake. By excusing Jake's emotional struggles instead of addressing his behaviors, Leila inadvertently enabled his emotional immaturity, ultimately harming both Jake and the business.

“Jake's pain, his dismay, his worry, his anxiety, all those things, it was legitimate. But taking it out on his team, taking it out on his job, not showing up, that was a choice.” — Leila Hormozi [10:45]

Framework for Managing Emotions and Behaviors [15:01 - 30:00]

Leila introduces a three-step framework designed to balance emotional acknowledgment with behavioral accountability:

1. Acknowledge Without Shame:

   • For Others: Recognize and validate someone's emotions without agreeing or taking responsibility for them.

     “I can see you're clearly frustrated right now... I understand that you're having this experience.” — Leila Hormozi [18:20]

   • For Yourself: Accept your own emotions without judgment, understanding that feeling does not equate to acting on those feelings.

2. Redirect to What Matters:

   • Shift the focus from the emotion itself to desired outcomes.

     “What outcome do you actually want here? What do you want to have happen?” — Leila Hormozi [22:10]

3. Maintain Standards:

   • Uphold behavioral expectations consistently, demonstrating that while emotions are valid, behaviors are choices that impact the team and business.

     “I understand that you're really angry about this change... but we still need to deliver excellence.” — Leila Hormozi [25:35]

The Cost of Failing to Manage Emotions [30:01 - 35:00]

Leila highlights the repercussions of not mastering this balance, including lost deals, deteriorating relationships, ongoing drama cycles, and diminished self-respect. She emphasizes that successful individuals and leaders share the trait of feeling emotions deeply but not allowing them to drive their actions.

“The most successful people that I know... they feel everything and they let it drive nothing.” — Leila Hormozi [32:50]

Personal Transformation: Letting Go of Emotional Enabling [35:01 - 45:00]

Reflecting on her personal journey, Leila discusses how she once absorbed others' emotional burdens, believing it was part of being a good daughter, wife, and leader. Recognizing the detrimental effects, she adopted a new approach: validating others' emotions while refusing to carry their emotional baggage.

“The day I started saying to people, ‘I can see you're stressed and I love you, and let's talk about what to do moving forward,’ everything changed for me.” — Leila Hormozi [40:15]

Practical Application: Implementing the Framework [45:01 - 55:00]

Leila provides actionable steps for listeners to integrate this framework into their lives:

1. Notice Physical Cues:
   Recognize when you're about to absorb someone else's emotions by paying attention to physical sensations like tension.

2. Assess the Situation:
   Ask yourself if the emotional burden is yours to carry. Often, the answer is no.

3. Practice the Phrase:
   Adopt the mantra, "All feelings are welcome. All behaviors are not," and communicate this with your team and family.

“When somebody comes to you with their chaos... you have two choices. You can take the box and carry their stuff around, or you can smile and say, no, thank you, that's yours.” — Leila Hormozi [50:30]

Conclusion: Building Resilient Businesses and Relationships [55:01 - End]

Leila concludes by reiterating the importance of separating emotions from behaviors to build unshakeable businesses and healthy relationships. She encourages listeners to adopt this mindset to preserve their energy for what truly matters, ensuring personal well-being and professional success.

“If you know somebody who is carrying emotional baggage for others... please send this to them. Everyone needs to hear this.” — Leila Hormozi [54:10]

Key Takeaways:

• Emotional Acknowledgment vs. Behavioral Accountability: Emotions are natural and valid, but behaviors are choices that impact yourself and others.
• Framework Implementation: By acknowledging emotions without shame, redirecting focus to outcomes, and maintaining standards, leaders can foster healthier work environments and relationships.
• Avoiding Emotional Enabling: Taking on others' emotional burdens can lead to personal and professional detriment. It's crucial to set boundaries and encourage emotional responsibility in others.
• Leadership Impact: Leaders who manage their emotions effectively set a positive example, enhancing team morale, productivity, and respect.

This episode serves as a transformative guide for individuals seeking to enhance their emotional intelligence, improve leadership skills, and build resilient, thriving businesses.