← Build with Leila Hormozi
Build with Leila Hormozi
Balancing Work, Life, Relationships (my first AMA) | Spotify Video Exclusive
00:19:05
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- [00:01]
Founder/CEO
A few weeks ago, I made a post on Instagram where I talked about how I wanted to get your top questions. Whether it's pertaining to you and your personal situation or me and something you want to know. I've answered a crap ton of them and that is today's video. And most importantly, I am answering at the very end the top question by far that everyone know, which is what happened to your cat?
- [00:21]
Interviewer/Host
What do you still struggle with to this day even though you are so far in your business?
- [00:25]
Founder/CEO
I tend to be overly collaborative. Meaning like I feel like I can hire people who are the smartest people in the room. But. But I've never like identified myself as that person. And so sometimes that prevents me from being as decisive as I could be in the moment. And so if there's like a big decision to be made, I always try to get like all the different levels and organizations of input. I tend to make it more democratic than it is like me making the decision now that I've been informed by everybody. I actually think that when I do make the decision, once I've been informed by everyone, like I feel very confident in my decision making skills, my strength, like I'm very thoughtful of others opinions and I tend to tend to try and like pull out opinions from everybody else and make them feel included. I tend to question myself and like what I feel in my gut is the right decision to make in the business. Sometimes I go back to like this old habit of thinking like, if more of the team is against my decision than for it, then they're probably all right. Well, like consensus says that this is a decision we should make, therefore my gut is wrong and we should make that decision. And now I do the opposite, which is like, even if everyone feels like this is the right decision, I in my gut know it's not. I'm going to make the decision that I think is right because I have more data than everybody here. If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong.
- [01:33]
Interviewer/Host
Do you have any advice for women who are wives, mothers, domestic goddesses and want to run a business, but also don't want to feel like they're choosing one over the other.
- [01:43]
Founder/CEO
A lot of people say, I feel like it's like I have my family and I feel like I have my work, especially women. I get that. And they feel like they have to choose between the two. And this is my opinion, is that if you want to do both, then in the long term you are not going to choose one over the other. But in the short term, day to day, you will always be choosing one over another. And I think that that is also because people conflate time with priorities. Just because you're at work all day, if your kid, you get a call that he's sick and throwing up and has a fever and needs to go to the hospital, does work take priority? Just because you spend more time working, does that mean your kid's not priority? You're not going to go dip out right then and go pick him up and take him to the hospital? Of course you are like, well, if you work all day, that means that that's your priority, not your family. It's like, no, but if my husband passed out, I had to and take him to the hospital. Of course that's my priority. The second thing is I think that in order to, to succeed in the long term of having both of these things that you value in your life, you have to be willing in all the short term, little micro moments to sacrifice one or the other because there's no way that you can constantly accommodate both. So it's like, okay, the question is, do I work late? You know, my boss asks me to take this meeting at 5pm but my kid has his like soccer tournament at 5:30. Which one do I do? Well, Tuesday you might go to the soccer tournament, but then on Thursday when you have another meeting and another soccer tournament, you might stay at work and say, hey, you know, dad's going to FaceTime me and show me. In the micro, you might not be balancing, but it's like in the short decisions, you're going to choose one over the other. Over the long term, it evens out.
- [03:08]
Interviewer/Host
Where do you think your drive comes from to be successful?
- [03:11]
Founder/CEO
I don't like this question because I don't know, I feel like I can make a lot of guesses as to like, maybe it comes from here and like, maybe it comes from your childhood and all these things. Or maybe it comes from the fact that like, you've been reinforced with like a lot of success very quickly. I've had the ability just to like not stop enough to see success and then more and more and it compounds over. Like, I like working hard and I like doing things because I'm rewarded for it. I'm rewarded for it with like seeing people whose lives have changed because they've been inspired by it. I think a lot of people overthink this. What makes you do what you do? Like, I don't know, I'm just doing it and I'm happy about it. So it's like, do more of the things you like doing, do less things you don't like doing, and then just happens to be the things that I like doing have made me successful. Like, by society's measures, I get a ton of reward for what I do. I get to watch people in our company, like, gain skills and, like, love where they work and, like, actually like having a job here. I get to watch these portfolio companies, you know, the CEOs, like, level up, build companies that they've wanted to build their whole lives, have success they've never had, make more money than they've ever made. Like, the stuff that happens on a daily basis and like, what I call, like, shit shoveling, you know, that sucks. But at the same time, like, I get a lot more than I don't get.
- [04:17]
Interviewer/Host
How do you balance the feminine and masculine roles of being in business?
- [04:21]
Founder/CEO
Masculine. Feminine means something different in every culture. What is feminine in this culture might be masculine. Another way is masculine, one might be feminine, another. So if you're looking at masculine and feminine in business, I think what people mean is usually, like, the soft skills of business and then like, the hard skills of business. And I think that typically people tend to associate, like, hard conversations, like making fast decisions, being like, very powerful and outspoken to be masculine, whereas they associate, like, caring and introspective and thoughtful and cautious to be feminine. I don't think that either one of those is going to win at business. I think it's like the two of those balanced and knowing when each skill set is appropriate just comes with experience and time. I think that oftentimes what happens is the reason, like, business, like women show up super masculine in the workplace is because they're afraid it won't be seen as legitimate or they won't be seen as powerful. And so they try to suppress the sides of themselves that actually make them really good leader and managers. And I think that actually there's a lot of power in being someone who cares about people, who's thoughtful of other people, who's able to accommodate. And whereas on the other side, I think, like, being decisive and being outspoken are also really important skills in terms of leading a company. How do you balance the two? I think that you stop labeling them as masculine and feminine. You start looking at them as just skills that are required, required to be good at running a business.
- [05:35]
Interviewer/Host
If you started a company and it became successful without much structure, but now you want to implement structure due to inefficiencies, where would you start?
- [05:44]
Founder/CEO
I think most companies start and are successful without much Structure, you know, professionalization of management, I think occurs. Like most people start to realize they need it around $3 million. Implementing a cadence and getting like meetings in place and getting a KPI dashboard, all the like tactical. Putting it in place is not hard. Like, what's hard is the behavioral change in the team. The team goes from an environment where it's like very free flowing and like it's people like take pride and it's like creative. We don't have all the structure to now we have more structure because in order to scale, we have to know how efficient we are. We need to know our utilization, we need to understand these metrics. And so from my perspective, I always look at it like I have to give them the knowledge in my head, which is I need to voice my concerns. I need to explain to them that this is a change for me. I need to explain them what kind of changes and I need to explain to them what the new focus is, which is like, you will be rewarded for following these systems that allow us to measure efficiency. And then here's how I'm going to reward you for it. Here's what I expect from you.
- [06:39]
Interviewer/Host
How do you balance your masculine and feminine energy? And what is your natural tendency as well as Alex's? And has that caused conflict? And if so, how did you work through it?
- [06:49]
Founder/CEO
For me, Elise, like, when I am scared, I probably act less feminine. So if I'm nervous at work, if I'm insecure at work, if I'm scared at work, I probably act less feminine than if I were feeling comfortable. And so naturally, if I'm comfortable in my relationship, then typically that's what comes out is like a side of me that is more soft, more caring, more loving, more thoughtful, versus I think if somebody's insecure in a relationship, then that like masculine side would come out, you know, in terms of like, how do you balance the two in your relationship? I think it's more of like being able to identify your audience as a human who you're talking to, which is like at work, what traits am I going to exhibit talking to my employees, a vendor, a client, versus like, I'm at home now. How am I going to speak to my husband who loves me and is my partner? A lot of the times I think it's that we have our work hat on and we get off work and the work hat's still on, and I'm talking to my husband like I'm talking to an employee. And that's why people like contention grows in marriages, because People speak to each other in a way that, you know, undermines them. And I think a lot of that is just like not contextualizing like the audience that you're speaking to at that point in time. You know, for me, like, I'm very aware of when I stop working. And the moment I stop working, the hat comes off and I am completely different. It doesn't even matter what happened at work that day. I think I've gotten way better at that over time. It's going to be hard at first and it gets easier over time. I think the best way to improve how you communicate with your spouse and what kind of traits you exhibit when you talk to them is by talking to your spouse about it, holding each other accountable, not even holding each other accountable, but rewarding your spouse when they do those things. So, for example, like when I'm super cute and thoughtful with Alex, like, he clearly makes it known that he's happy I'm doing that. He's like, I love it when you act this way. I love it when you do this. I love it when you do that. And the same goes for Alex, like when he does something really nice for me or says something really nice or compliments me, I'm like, thank you so much for that. I love it when you do that. I love it when you do that. And I think most people don't reinforce their spouse's behavior at all. And then we reinforce each other when we take action. Like overly reinforce each other. Hug, high five, kiss, like celebrate. And that has made huge difference in our relationship.
- [08:48]
Interviewer/Host
What does ideal org chart look like when building a sales team from scratch and how does it evolve as it grows?
- [08:55]
Founder/CEO
You're building a sales team from scratch. At first I would assume you're the salesperson. Like as a CEO of the business, like, that's typically what you do in the beginning. And then you bring in one person to be, you know, the rep that probably reports to you as the founder. And then once you get to three reps, that's when you need like a player coach. So I think up until three reps, I've always had them like roll in to say like a founder because typically they're the one that's best at sales. So if you're not good at sales, disregard. But then once you get to three, that's the point where you need like I would say a sales lead slash manager. Depending on your business, a lead is going to be really good at like the combat, the hand to hand combat. The obstacle overcomes, like understanding the art of sales. They're usually somebody who's still selling and then they're helping the guys or the girls or the team, you know, get better at their skill set in terms of like what they're saying on the phone or what they're saying during their presentation. Versus a manager is somebody who also can. Can do that, but also can hire people, can build out the team, can put some meeting cadences in place and some organization to it.
- [09:52]
Interviewer/Host
How do you know when something is long term worth pursuing?
- [09:55]
Founder/CEO
You know, I don't think I'm really all. Or one way or the other one. I don't know what passion is. Let me know when you find out. I think that we like the things that we're good at. And so if you're really good at something, you tend to like it more. And if you get rewarded from something over and over again, then you tend to put more effort into it because you're getting a reward from it. And then you get better, you get reward. And it just becomes this very positive experience that people label as passion in terms of do you do that or do you like base it on like, is this a growing market and all, like, logistics? I think that it has to be both. I would prefer to do something I enjoy doing. Obviously. It's like, is, is it a growing market? Is the economy in your favor? Do you have tailwinds that are blowing you forward? Like at the same time I would sacrifice some of that. You have like market and then you have desire to do the thing. It's like I would sacrifice a little bit of this to make sure that I actually liked it. Because I think that in the long term, a lot of the reason business doesn't work is because you quit. It's not even the market. I mean, like, there's still people selling fucking newspapers, but like, they love newspapers, so they're still doing it. And like, is that a success or a failure? Like, I don't know. He's still doing it and he likes it. So like, I guess it's. And so I think it's the same in anything with business, which is if you have engineered it so that you are going to not like what you're doing, if you don't get reinforced for what you're doing, you're not getting a reward from it, then you're probably going to end up quitting. So you don't even get to see out the long term. On the other end of the spectrum, if you go all towards like something you like, you're probably actually going to start getting negative reinforcement from it. I see this a lot with people, like fully pursued, like, I'm an artist, I'm going to like sell my art. But it's like, okay, well there's no market for your art and nobody wants your art. So you know what happens over time is you start to not like your art. You start to resent your art because every time you try to sell it, somebody says, oh, I don't think it's worth that. And then over time, that reinforcement you used to get that was really positive starts to become more negative because there's no market for it, nobody wants to buy it. And then you start to actually resent art. And so if you go too far in one end of either of the spectrum and you're going to fall into the zone where you're not going to like what you're doing.
- [11:48]
Interviewer/Host
Do you have practical tips on gaining respect? Specifically if you are an employee, not a manager?
- [11:54]
Founder/CEO
I think that if you want to gain respect, you have to ask yourself, who is somebody who is respectable? What kind of actions do they exhibit? Like, what behavior do that they exhibit? I would think somebody is respectable, makes decisions, quickly, holds their boundaries, they treat themselves with respect. And I think a lot of the times the reason that women tend to get less respect than men is they treat themselves with less respect than men. This is not based on science. It's just like my personal, personal experience and observation, which is, I think a lot of women tend to be more insecure, especially in the workplace. And so maybe they act in a way that is insecure, which doesn't gain them respect. And I can say this because, like I used to be like that. I didn't respect myself as much because I was inexperienced and so less people respected me. And over time, as I have elevated my respect for myself and right now I can tell you I have immense self respect. I get that back from people. If someone were to talk to me in a certain way, they know that I would not continue the relationship. You get what you tolerate.
- [12:49]
Interviewer/Host
Do you as the operator, build the systems for the entire agency or does Alex play a heavier role in his departments?
- [12:56]
Founder/CEO
I think that there's this common misconception that operators like don't do marketing and sales. I don't think that's the case at all. I think that you should understand how to operate a company which marketing and sales are like arguably two of the most important department. If you want to be a dangerous operator, you fucking get marketing and sales. I will say that my Skill set has grown over time. Sales has always been a strength. Now, compared to Alex, am I as like, am I good at the art of sales like he is? No, I couldn't tell you. Like, here's the obstacle overcome in this net. But I can tell you when I hear a good one. I can tell you when I hear a bad one. And can I build a sales department? Absolutely. Could I build a marketing partner? Absolutely. Do I have, like, the artistic skill of either? I don't really have the interest. So I think you have to understand, like, where do your interests lie? What are you good at? And then you guys have to mold that into a custom relationship that the two of you have in the business. They. There is no right or wrong. There are some operators who build the department, but they have no knowledge of the actual, like, artistic side behind either or I would say creative versus there's operators who understand all of it. So, you know, I think that's a decision between the two of you.
- [13:55]
Interviewer/Host
What do you do when you feel like everything you've worked so hard for is falling apart? How do you motivate yourself?
- [14:02]
Founder/CEO
I think you gotta use what you're given. Which is like, motivation can come from inspiration. It can also come from desperation. So, like, the hardest I've ever worked in my life has come from places where I have had nothing. I've lost everything. I was fat, I was arrested multiple times. I had nothing to show. I'd ruined everything I'd worked for, and then I built it all from scratch. You have to use whatever emotion is available to you at the time. I personally make more progress with negative emotions than I think I do with positive ones now on an ongoing basis. Like, is that going to deter my quality of life? Yes, eventually. If I'm constantly using negative emotions, like, obviously I'm not like, chasing excited about that all the time. But you're like, how do I find motivation? But the thing is, is that you are lacking success. Therefore, you would assume that you have the desire to attain success. And what is. Where do you find motivation when there is a gap? Motivation is the gap between the two. So I would imagine right now that you feel frustrated, angry, upset, desperate. Use that. What would motivate you more than rock bottom?
- [14:57]
Interviewer/Host
How to stay present. As a highly ambitious person.
- [15:00]
Founder/CEO
You know, I actually used to be fairly distracted. I think a lot of people use these excuses and they label themselves and say that they get easily distracted for certain reasons. And I remember one of my friends said something to me once, and he said, if you do not Allow yourself to indulge in the distraction long enough, you will get into flow or you will become present. I was like. And so I realized that with work, like I'll get into a meeting and maybe I'm distracted with like something someone said in the last meeting. If I don't allow myself to get on slack, don't allow myself to check my phone, don't allow myself to check my email, or to like not be paying attention to what they're saying, eventually I forget about that other thing and I'm fully immersed in the moment. And that's actually probably why I like running the business is I feel like all of it is a state of flow because I'm constantly able to have the discipline to resist distraction and allow myself that time that it takes to get into flow where I'm truly present, I'm truly enjoying what I'm doing, and I'm truly engaged in a conversation. I've just seen the cost of not doing that, which is, you know, when I first started, there were many times where I'd get on a meeting and I was so distracted that I would make a bad decision. And a lot of my bad decisions actually stemmed from being distracted while I was making the decision and thinking about something else and just being like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that, that thing. And then like later it came to bite me in the ass. And so now I understand the importance of being fully engaged in the moment. All the calls I'm in, the meetings I'm in, the work I'm doing, because I understand that that saves you all the redos you have to do later.
- [16:25]
Interviewer/Host
What advice do you have for challenges, blind spots and opportunities for being at 16W, two employees and eight contractors and scaling to 25 to 30 by year end.
- [16:35]
Founder/CEO
I think there's two things which is like if the leaders above those people are weak, that will show through more so in the future when you have 30 people and it doesn't have 15, the second piece is that you have to become a better communicator at 30 people than you do at. So I'll tell you, like for acquisition.com, like when we had 10 people versus now we have like almost 25. The way I communicate is much less casual. I have to think through, okay, now we have like decently like fleshed out departments and functions. What's their perspective? If I'm messaging this, like if we hire someone, if we let someone go, if we're making a change in direction, like I have to now think through all the filters of all the people on the team in terms of, like, what are their fears, what are their desires and aspirations? Like, how do I message to all of those people versus, like, having such a close relationship with everybody that I. I don't need to think about my messaging so much. And so I think that, like, the skill set of the CEO has to increase in terms of their capacity to communicate. And your ability to recruit leaders that can lead on your behalf, that you don't have to intercept with has to also continue to go up. That's probably what cracks at that point is you start to realize, like, you know, someone gets a few more people underneath them, and you're like, oh, shit. Like, you probably shouldn't have people underneath you. Because now I'm starting to see, like, you're actually kind of a micromanager and like, you kind of suppress people and like, you got a bit of an ego. Or like, on the other hand, maybe it's like, there's no structure in place. They're not holding people accountable. And like, those start. Things start to break, and then your communication at the same time has to level up.
- [17:55]
Interviewer/Host
Whatever happened with the cat you were going to get, was it a scam? Did you ever end up getting a cat?
- [18:01]
Founder/CEO
Did not get the cat. Because what happened was cat arrived. It was not our cat. And so my assistant was like, I will take the cat poster home and I will take care of the cat poster and return it on Monday when hopefully these scammers get back to us. So Monday comes around, she's like, they got back to us. They apologize profusely. But I had seen on her Instagram how, like, her kids really loved the cat and they were playing with the whole weekend. And so Monday came and I was like, do you want to keep the cat? Like, I just had a feeling. And she was like, I didn't know that was an option, but if it is an option. And so she kept the cat poster. I said, don't send the new cat. Because then I thought about it and I was like, you know, cat is a responsibility, and I don't know if I want it. You know what happened? The cat showed up, also covered in shit. And in that moment, I was like, I've only got one. Like, clean up the off this random cat in me. I don't think I can do it again, but this cat's probably going to do this again. And in that moment, I knew I didn't want a cat anymore.