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Here's the truth. I started from zero and built a multimillion dollar company by doing the exact opposite of what I'm about to tell you guys. Let's get into it. Number one, make decisions permanent. Okay? The fastest way to stay stuck forever is to believe that every choice that you make is a forever decision. I used to think that keeping options open was smart. It is not. It's expensive. Every maybe that you have is like. It's this tax on your attention. So it's like, I think about it like every open loop is leaking more attention, and your attention is more valuable than anything. I can tell you this because I am the queen of open loops. I'll give you a really specific example. I had somebody that was on the team who I had really liked having on the team. I got along with this person super well. They were on the team for years, and then it was like, slowly, over time, like a frog boil. That person wasn't a fit for the team with where the company was going and how the company had grown. And I could tell that that person was really struggling. And I remember saying to myself, I was like, I just have to get through Q4 every day. It was all I thought about. Every time I saw that person, I felt awkward because, like, I knew what I needed to do. It cost me, like, four months of my attention. And as soon as I made that switch and it was like, the end of the quarter, I finally made the move and I parted ways with that person. I was like, I can't believe I took this long to do it because I have all this attention back. And then I saw, I was like, oh, my gosh. I wasn't driving forward some of these huge initiatives in my company that were really important to our growth. And I. I told my team, I literally said this to them last year. I said, I set us back by an entire quarter by doing this. And I just want to acknowledge that. So if I wanted to keep ruining my life, this is exactly how I would do it. I would delay firing somebody for six months because what if I'm wrong? What if they change? What if it's actually my fault? I would refuse to kill projects because we've already invested so much in them, right? Well, we spend all this money and we have all this time. We hire these people for it, we should keep doing it. And essentially, I would keep every door open, commit to nothing, and move on to nothing. Now, here's what happens when you do this. Indecision compounds into some cost. Then your best people will leave you because you won't make the call. Now, the real cost is that you end up with a mediocre team because they don't believe in a leader that can't make decisions or a mediocre relationship because somebody doesn't want to be with somebody who isn't decisive in a relationship or their life. And you have this huge decision debt that eventually forces your hand anyways. But later, when it's more expensive and you get less of what you want and more of what you don't want. The truth is, most decisions are reversible. Like most decisions in life, the cost of making the wrong call is almost always lower than the cost of making none at all. You want to treat decisions like experiments, not permanent, irrevocable vows that you have made in your life. Now, this applies to all decisions, not just business decisions. I think I tried to use some examples about relationships, which leads me into this. Number two, Keep the wrong friendships. Okay? Everybody talks about, like, finding your group, finding your tribe, finding your people. But nobody warns you that growing as a person also means that you outgrow a lot of the people that you are friends with right now. I used to have friends that would, like, roll their eyes when I talked about bettering myself. I remember, like, I literally stopped talking about my own personal growth, my life, trying to get better at business, trying to get healthier. Because all of my friends, when I would say it, they would roll their eyes, they would kind of talk, they would, like, say stuff behind my back. What it led to me doing is that I just got quiet. And if anything, I thought that me being quiet meant that I was being humble. But here's what I did not realize. I was actually letting their ceiling become my floor. They were the people that were keeping me stuck, if you've ever heard of, like, the law of the thermostat. But essentially, like, if you want to move up in life, then you need to move your thermostat. Well, who sets the thermostat? It's you plus the people around you. I can tell you guys this. This is something that the first time I ever had to do it was when I decided I wasn't going to drink anymore. I was going to lose weight, and I was going to, like, really try and stop being a off in my life. I was like, okay, I'm going to stop being a head. And so I said, I can't hang out with heads, right? I don't think I can do this because they're not happy for me to, like, Better my life and be healthy and be happy and achieve things. They thought it was, like, lame. And they were like, why don't you come out and drink and do drugs? Why aren't you smoking weed anymore? And like, I get that and that's totally fine, but it didn't work for me anymore. If I wanted to keep ruining my life, this is exactly how I would do it. I would downplay my wins around certain people to keep them comfortable. I would avoid talking about my business because they wouldn't get it. And I would schedule time with people who make me feel like about myself for wanting more for my life. Now, here's the problem with you doing this. You editing yourself to fit old versions of your life. It takes away the space for your newer, better version to arise. And so it's like, it's one of the saddest things in life. I'll be honest with you. It really sucks, but it's the truth. Your peer group determines your trajectory more than your talent. So if you have to shrink yourself to fit in, you are in the wrong room and you need to reconsider. And again, this doesn't mean that they're bad people. It just means that they might be a bad fit for you right now. It's so much easier to get what you want when you surround yourself with people who already have it. Now once you find those people that already have it, you want to make sure that you invest all your time in that. And that leads me to my third point is avoid being the villain. So I thought when I got into business that being a good leader meant that nobody would ever be upset with me. So wrong. Being a good leader means that the right people are upset with you at the right time. The same goes for being a good friend, being a good parent, being a good spouse. There were so many times in the beginning of my career where I would avoid giving people feedback, right? Because I was trying to protect their feelings. Two things happen. One, they're not able to correct the behavior. And so then I have to go correct it later or they have to find out by fail. Second thing that happens is then they don't trust me. Because then when inevitably something doesn't work or it fails or there's something that I've already identified, it's like, so do you not tell me the truth? Are you not being honest with me? And so what I realized in time is I was like, oh. Being a good leader means that sometimes you say things that feel bad in the moment. Being a good spouse means that sometimes you say things that feel bad in the moment. Being a good friend means that sometimes you say things that feel bad in the moment. There's been many times in my marriage when I've spoken to my husband and I've said, hey, I know you want to do this thing, I want to be really honest with you. I think it's going to take you further from your long term goals, not closer to them. Here's why. Now, does he like me saying that in the moment? Does he like me, you know, putting down maybe an idea he has or something he wants to do with somebody? No, but he trusts me when I say I think that that's not going to get you to your long term goal. So if I wanted to keep ruining my life, this is exactly how I do it. I would soften the feedback until it was meaningless or avoid giving it at all. I would let people in my company stay in the wrong role because the conversation would be hard for them. I would prioritize being seen as the nice friend and the nice wife over being a great, enduring, effective one. This is the trap. When you avoid being the villain, you sacrifice standards to avoid discomfort. And when that happens in the workplace, high performers leave because you tolerate the low performers. And in a relationship, you end up building resentment because that person sees that you're not invested in their long term. And then you resent them because you feel like you can't talk to them. And in friendships you end up drifting apart because you have all these unspoken words that you've never said to this person. And then you lose your own respect trying to keep everybody else happy. The reality is being clear is kind. I remember hearing that when I was like 17. I was like, that sounds so dumb, but it's so true. Being clear is kind. It's like now I'm like, if I could just tell people, just be clear with people. Like that's what's kind of. Avoiding hard conversations does not protect people. It actually robs them of the truth that they need to grow. Number four is collect identities. I did not realize how heavy my old identity was until I tried to get higher and get above it. And then I realized what was holding me down. I once wanted to be the person who could do it all. And then I ended up being the person that couldn't do anything well and was stressed the out. And so what I've realized in time, over and over and over again is like, your identity isn't a foundation. And if anything, I tell people I don't need to have an identity because it's an anchor. For example, like, I've had to make multiple shifts in my identity. When I went from being a personal trainer to starting my company gym launch, I went from being, like, the fitness girl, the personal trainer, the girl who was, like, always on top of her food and fitness, to, like, okay, now I don't do that anymore. Now I don't even dress like that anymore. Now I'm like, the boss. And it was more of, like, people like, oh, she's like, an operator. And it was the weirdest transition because the beginning was like, well, I'm just like, a fitness chick. And then it was like, wait, I don't need to be that. That's just a story I'm telling myself. I can be whoever I want. Do I even want to be a fitness chick anymore? No, I actually never want to be a fitness chick. I just wanted to not be fat. What the am I doing anyways, right? And then, you know, I would say in the last few years, it went from being like, oh, that's the gym girl, right? Like, she owns that gym company, to, like, okay, now it's the business, the operations CEO girl, right? And then that right there, if I said, oh, that's my new identity. I'm the operations CEO chick that runs that acquisition company, whatever the you want to call it. If I said that's my new identity, it would stop me from the next thing I need to do. And I can tell you, 2026 is not gonna look like 2025 for me. So if I wanted to keep ruining my life, that's exactly how I would do it. I would refuse to let go of any identity that made me valuable before. And then I would become this, like, very dull Swiss army knife, which is, like, mediocre at everything and excellent at absolutely nothing. When you keep collecting identities instead of letting the old ones die, you start to spread yourself across too many selves. And what it does, it creates this, like, identity whiplash. It's, like, confusing for people. They're like, what are they all about? What do they actually do? And you get zero depth in anything because you won't let go. But you have to let go of the old to make room for the new. And you can't be afraid of starting at zero again.