Build with Leila Hormozi: Episode 227 – "Get Good At Feeling Bad, Here's How"
Release Date: January 8, 2025
Host: Leila Hormozi
Introduction
In Episode 227 of "Build with Leila Hormozi," titled "Get Good At Feeling Bad, Here's How," Leila delves into a profound and often overlooked aspect of personal and professional growth: embracing and mastering negative emotions. Drawing from her own experiences and insights gained over a decade of building and scaling businesses, Leila offers a transformative approach to handling difficult feelings, arguing that developing emotional resilience is key to creating an unshakeable business.
The Importance of Embracing Negative Emotions
Leila opens the discussion by posing a challenging question to her audience: "What would your life look like if you got better at feeling bad?" (00:01). This provocative inquiry sets the stage for exploring how accepting rather than avoiding negative emotions can lead to greater personal and professional success.
Misconceptions About Successful People
Leila shares a pivotal moment when a teammate highlighted her ability to seamlessly transition between various high-pressure situations without appearing stressed (02:30). This observation led her to realize that what she admired in others was not their lack of negative emotions but their proficiency in managing them. She clarifies:
"It's not that people don't feel bad; it's that they've gotten good at feeling bad." (09:15)
The Reality of Feeling Bad
Leila emphasizes that negative emotions are an inherent part of life and business, constituting about 50% of our experiences. She criticizes the societal tendency to reward positivity while neglecting the value of acknowledging and processing negative feelings.
"The price of feeling good is also feeling bad." (15:45)
She argues that avoiding negative emotions—through distractions like alcohol, TV, or superficial positivity—only exacerbates the issue, drawing a parallel to trying to outrun one's shadow.
Personal Journey and Insights
Leila recounts a personal experience in 2019 when she faced unprecedented stress while managing her rapidly growing business. This period culminated in a panic attack, leading her to question her emotional resilience.
"The problem was that I considered feeling bad a problem." (28:50)
Determined to overcome this, she immersed herself in psychological studies to better understand and manage her emotions. Through this journey, she discovered that building emotional stamina is crucial for maintaining calmness and effectiveness in chaotic situations.
Three Steps to Get Good at Feeling Bad
Leila outlines a practical framework for embracing negative emotions, consisting of three steps: Name It, Sit With It, and Turn It into Gold.
1. Name It
The first step involves accurately identifying and labeling the emotion being experienced. Leila explains:
"When I name it, I recognize it's not me. I am not a feeling." (35:20)
By specifying emotions beyond general terms like "sad" or "anxious," such as "apprehensive" or "overwhelmed," individuals can diminish the emotional weight and gain clearer insight into their feelings.
2. Sit With It
The second step encourages individuals to confront their emotions rather than distract themselves. Leila shares:
"Just sit with it, feel it. I promise it's not going to kill you." (42:10)
By allowing oneself to fully experience the emotion, one can train the mind and body to tolerate discomfort, leading to increased emotional resilience. Leila emphasizes that emotions are transient and will naturally subside with time.
3. Turn It into Gold
The final step involves transforming negative emotions into positive outcomes. Leila challenges listeners to ask themselves:
"How is this good? If I can't think of a reason for how this is good, then how can I make this situation good for me?" (55:00)
This proactive approach aligns with the concept of being "antifragile," where challenges and setbacks are leveraged to build strength and adaptability. By reframing negative experiences, individuals can extract valuable lessons and drive personal growth.
Conclusion: The Power of Emotional Resilience
Leila concludes by reiterating the significance of mastering negative emotions. She asserts that being good at feeling bad eliminates the fear of discomfort, enabling individuals to take bigger risks, engage in tough conversations, and build stronger relationships without being hindered by negative feelings.
"You don't need to try and fix it. Don't try to run from it. Just get good at feeling it." (1:05:30)
Her plea is clear: embrace and develop the ability to handle negative emotions as a cornerstone of both personal well-being and business success.
Key Takeaways
- Acceptance Over Avoidance: Embracing negative emotions rather than avoiding them leads to greater emotional resilience.
- Emotional Naming: Precisely identifying emotions diminishes their power and clarifies their origins.
- Sitting With Discomfort: Allowing oneself to fully experience emotions builds tolerance and reduces the need for distractions.
- Transformative Thinking: Reframing negative feelings can convert challenges into opportunities for growth.
- Antifragility in Business and Life: Leveraging setbacks and negative experiences strengthens both personal character and business ventures.
Notable Quotes
- "What would your life look like if you got better at feeling bad?" — Leila Hormozi (00:01)
- "It's not that people don't feel bad; it's that they've gotten good at feeling bad." — Leila Hormozi (09:15)
- "The price of feeling good is also feeling bad." — Leila Hormozi (15:45)
- "The problem was that I considered feeling bad a problem." — Leila Hormozi (28:50)
- "When I name it, I recognize it's not me. I am not a feeling." — Leila Hormozi (35:20)
- "Just sit with it, feel it. I promise it's not going to kill you." — Leila Hormozi (42:10)
- "How is this good? If I can't think of a reason for how this is good, then how can I make this situation good for me?" — Leila Hormozi (55:00)
- "You don't need to try and fix it. Don't try to run from it. Just get good at feeling it." — Leila Hormozi (1:05:30)
Final Thoughts
Leila Hormozi's candid exploration of handling negative emotions offers a refreshing perspective on personal and professional development. By advocating for emotional resilience through acceptance, naming, and transformation of negative feelings, Leila provides actionable strategies for building a robust and unshakeable business. This episode serves as a valuable resource for entrepreneurs and individuals alike, seeking to navigate the complexities of emotions in the pursuit of success and fulfillment.
If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who might benefit from learning to get good at feeling bad. Stay tuned for more insightful discussions every Monday and Wednesday on "Build with Leila Hormozi."