Episode Summary: "How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t (Even When Life Sucks)" | Ep 269

Podcast: Build with Leila Hormozi
Host: Leila Hormozi
Release Date: May 5, 2025

In Episode 269 of Build with Leila Hormozi, titled "How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t (Even When Life Sucks)," Leila delves deep into the emotional challenges she has recently faced. Drawing from her personal experiences and psychological insights, she offers listeners actionable strategies to overcome negative emotions and build a resilient mindset, even amidst tough circumstances.

1. Understanding the Root of Negative Feelings

Leila begins the episode by addressing a fundamental truth about human emotions:

"You don't feel like shit because of your circumstances. You feel like shit because of how you interpret them." [00:02]

She emphasizes that our emotions are often a product of our interpretations and irrational thoughts rather than the situations themselves. This perspective shifts the focus from external factors to internal cognitive processes, highlighting the power of mindset in shaping our emotional states.

2. Personal Transparency and Vulnerability

Leila opens up about her own struggles over the past few months, advocating for transparency:

"Shame only exists in the dark." [01:45]

She shares her discomfort with hiding problems and her commitment to showing both the highs and lows of her journey. This vulnerability not only humanizes her but also creates a relatable space for listeners who may be facing similar challenges.

3. The Impact of Psychological Anchors

To navigate her rough patches, Leila revisits foundational psychological teachings, specifically referencing Albert Ellis and Stephen Hayes. She explains how re-engaging with these principles helps her reframe her thoughts:

"We create these underlying emotions with our own irrational thoughts, which means that if we create them, then we can also uncreate them." [02:30]

By identifying and challenging irrational beliefs, she demonstrates a proactive approach to managing her mental state.

4. Shifting Perspective: "What is Good About This?"

One of the central themes of the episode is the transformative question Leila uses during tough times:

"What is good about this?" [06:15]

This question serves as a tool to reorient her focus towards potential positives, no matter how small. Leila shares how this mindset has not only helped her personally but has also expanded her capacity for compassion towards others. She highlights the ripple effect of transparency, noting how her openness encourages others to share their struggles, fostering a supportive community.

5. Framework for Overcoming Negative Emotions

Leila outlines a practical framework she employs to combat negative feelings:

a. Identify Bullshit Beliefs

She urges listeners to recognize and confront unrealistic beliefs that perpetuate misery:

"These are all bullshit beliefs, and none of them are facts." [15:45]

Examples include rigid timelines for resolving issues or beliefs that circumstances define one's worth.

b. Assess Logical Validity and Usefulness

Leila advises evaluating whether these beliefs are logical and, more importantly, useful:

"Is this belief useful to me?" [20:10]

Beliefs that are neither logical nor beneficial should be discarded.

c. Replace with Rational Beliefs

Instead of enforcing demands, she recommends adopting preferences:

"I would prefer if this resolves in four weeks instead of life should be fair." [23:50]

This subtle shift from "must" to "prefer" reduces emotional burden and increases mental flexibility.

d. Act Despite Feeling Unmotivated

Action is a critical component in breaking the cycle of negative emotions:

"Action creates evidence, and then evidence is what builds confidence. Confidence kills shitty feelings." [27:30]

Leila emphasizes the importance of taking steps even when lacking motivation, as action leads to tangible evidence of capability, fostering confidence.

e. Embrace Unconditional Self-Acceptance

The final step focuses on self-compassion and acceptance:

"We are not our performance and we are not our approval rating. We are ourselves. We're flawed, we're fallible, and we are still worthwhile." [32:05]

Leila underscores that self-worth is intrinsic and not contingent on external validations or achievements.

6. Recap and Encouragement

Leila succinctly summarizes her framework:

"Call out our irrational beliefs. Dispute them. Swap them with something that's rational. Take action before we're ready and accept ourselves and what happens with no strings attached." [40:20]

She offers heartfelt encouragement to listeners facing their own struggles:

"You are not alone. You are not fucking alone. I am there with you. I do not feel great. I am sad. I am frustrated. But I'm not broken. And you're not broken." [45:10]

7. Practical Takeaways

• Identify and Challenge Irrational Beliefs: Recognize thoughts that create unnecessary suffering and evaluate their validity and utility.

• Shift Language from Demands to Preferences: Using "prefer" instead of "must" or "should" fosters a more flexible and less stressful mindset.

• Take Proactive Actions: Engage in activities that build confidence and provide evidence of one's ability to cope.

• Practice Self-Acceptance: Embrace imperfections and understand that self-worth is inherent, not dependent on performance.

Conclusion

In this candid and insightful episode, Leila Hormozi not only shares her personal battles with negative emotions but also equips her audience with a robust framework to navigate their own challenges. By fostering transparency, actionable strategies, and unconditional self-acceptance, Leila empowers listeners to reclaim control over their emotional well-being and build resilient, unshakeable lives.

Note: If you or someone you know is struggling with similar feelings, consider reaching out to a mental health professional or a trusted individual for support.