Overpromising Is Killing Your Team | Ep 295

Summary

Build with Leila Hormozi: Episode 295 - "Overpromising Is Killing Your Team"

Release Date: July 9, 2025
Host: Leila Hormozi
Podcast Title: Build with Leila Hormozi
Episode Title: Overpromising Is Killing Your Team | Ep 295

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Introduction

In Episode 295 of Build with Leila Hormozi, host Leila delves deep into the detrimental effects of overpromising within leadership roles. Drawing from her extensive experience in scaling businesses and managing high-performing teams, Leila emphasizes the critical importance of setting realistic expectations to foster trust and loyalty among team members.

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The Pitfalls of Overpromising

Leila begins by addressing the core issue: overpromising. She explains that even with the best intentions, making unrealistic promises can significantly erode trust within a team.

[00:02] Leila: "When you over promise, you break that trust even if your intentions are good. Be real, be consistent, show up for your team every day."

She highlights that overpromising often stems from optimism rather than malice. Leaders, driven by enthusiasm and a big vision, may unintentionally set their teams up for disappointment by making promises they can't fulfill.

[02:19] Leila: "A lot of times this is done because of insecurity. People want to be seen as generous, supportive, great leaders."

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Consequences of Overpromising

Leila outlines the various negative outcomes that result from overpromising, including:

1. Broken Trust: Once trust is lost, rebuilding it is a long and arduous process.
2. Resentment and Conflict: Unrealized promises can lead to team members feeling undervalued and betrayed.
3. Cultural Deterioration: Discontent spreads quickly, fostering a culture of cynicism.

[03:05] Leila: "The team has been set up for resentment. They've been set up for conflict."

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Real-Life Example

To illustrate her points, Leila shares a scenario involving a new, ambitious team member who is promised rapid promotions and significant opportunities. When these promises fail to materialize, the team member becomes disengaged and cynical, negatively impacting overall team morale.

[03:45] Leila: "If you over promise, whether it's about their career, the role in a project, or benefits, and then you don't deliver, you disappoint them."

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Strategies to Avoid Overpromising

Leila provides actionable strategies to help leaders avoid the trap of overpromising:

1. State the Facts and Tell the Truth:
   Be transparent about what is achievable without embellishment.

   [07:26] Leila: "State the facts and tell the truth. I just throw that shit into their bonus."

2. Set Proper Expectations:
   Clearly communicate the realities of career growth and project outcomes.

   [07:24] Leila: "We have to set proper Expectations."

3. Say Less, Do More:
   Avoid hyping opportunities unless you are certain you can deliver beyond expectations.

   [07:53] Leila: "Say less, do more. Stop overhyping everything."

4. Be Clear About What You Can and Can't Control:
   Distinguish between aspects you can influence and those you cannot.

   [10:30] Leila: "Be clear about what you can and can't control."

5. Let Your Actions Speak Louder Than Words:
   Consistently deliver on smaller commitments to build trust gradually.

   [13:08] Leila: "Delivering on smaller promises consistently is way more powerful."

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Rebuilding Trust After Overpromising

Acknowledging that overpromising can happen even to the best leaders, Leila outlines steps to rebuild trust:

1. Own Your Mistakes:
   Take full responsibility without casting blame.

   [15:12] Leila: "Take responsibility. Do not blame anybody there. It's not their fucking fault. It's your fault."

2. Explain the Why:
   Provide transparency about what went wrong and how you plan to rectify it.

   [16:01] Leila: "Explain your rationale so that people don't think you're some evil fuck who's just like, you know, over promising."

3. Start Small:
   Focus on delivering small, consistent commitments to regain trust.

   [16:58] Leila: "Start small, focus on delivering small, small, tiny commitments."

4. Be Patient:
   Understand that rebuilding trust takes time and persistent effort.

   [17:08] Leila: "Be patient. I will not be able to fix all these things at once."

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Conclusion

Leila wraps up the episode by reiterating the essence of effective leadership: honesty and reliability. She emphasizes that leadership isn't about grand promises but about creating an environment where expectations are clear, and team members know exactly what they need to do to achieve their goals.

[17:30] Leila: "Stop trying to be such a good guy. Stop trying to be this amazing superhero. Be real. Be consistent. Show up for your team every day."

By fostering transparency and setting realistic expectations, leaders can build unshakeable trust and loyalty within their teams, ensuring long-term success and a positive organizational culture.

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Key Takeaways

• Overpromising Erodes Trust: Even well-intentioned promises can lead to disappointment and distrust.
• Transparency is Crucial: Clear and honest communication helps set realistic expectations.
• Consistent Small Wins: Delivering on smaller commitments builds a foundation of trust.
• Accountability Matters: Leaders must own their mistakes and work diligently to rectify them.
• Patience is Essential: Rebuilding trust is a gradual process that requires sustained effort.

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By adhering to these principles, leaders can cultivate a resilient and motivated team, steering their businesses toward sustainable growth and success.

Transcript

[A]

When you over promise, you break that trust even if your intentions are good. Be real, be consistent, show up for your team every day. And if you do that, you will build trust and loyalty and people in the long term will appreciate the honesty more than they will being misled.

[B]

What's up guys? Welcome back to Build and today I.

[A]

Want to talk about something that I haven't spoken to before, which is over promising and why false opportunities are going to destroy your team. So I'm making this podcast at 6am and I'm drinking my coffee and it really just has been something on my mind for the last 24 hours because it's really relevant for me right now. And so, you know, I was writing down my thoughts and I was writing down things that I want to learn from this. I want to teach my team through these situation that I have uncovered in my own company. And I figured this would be a great opportunity to make a podcast, especially.

[B]

While it's top of mind. And really, you know, it circles back.

[A]

To I've taken over a department and been digging into one where the leader has been flipped out. And you know, I think a lot of the times when you flip out a leader it's because you know, you're like this person was had bad intentions, this person, you know, did wrong, this person, you know, purposely was, you know, conniving or deceptive and all these things. But I think there's an opposite end of the spectrum that actually quite a few people fall into. And I think that like probably within the beginning of my career I probably would have fallen more in this bucket. I had great mentors, so I don't think I did. But it's really over promising. And if you look at it, there's really two ends of the spectrum which is like the leaders who ignore their teams don't really like care for their.

[B]

Teams, don't like being managers.

[A]

And then there's people who absolutely love.

[B]

It, but because of that they might.

[A]

Actually set themselves up for failure.

[B]

And so, you know, here's the thing.

[A]

Leaders don't over promise because they're malicious, right? They do it because they're optimistic, not malicious. They have this big vision, they're really.

[B]

Excited and they think, okay, if I.

[A]

Just tell my team how amazing this is, how amazing this opportunity is, how they're going to keep rising to the occasion, how they're going to get so many opportunities here, it's going to be endless how the and keeping promoted. You get them all excited and you want them fired up. But here's the thing when you over promise, whether it's about their career, whether it's about the role in a project, whether it's about how much autonomy they'll have, whether it's about how many benefits they'll get, whether it's about how much involvement they get from you and how much you're gonna invest in them. And then you don't deliver, you don't inspire them, you disappoint them. And it's like, okay, well then why do we do this?

[C]

Right?

[A]

I think a lot of the times this is done because of insecurity. I think that a lot of people wanna be seen as generous, supportive, great leaders. But the irony to this is that when you over promise and then fail to follow through, you actually come across as disingenuous or even worse, I would say, untrustworthy. And here's the thing, once the team loses trust, it's a long road to get back to that. And I've seen this because, you know, I've been getting in the nooks and.

[B]

Crannies of this team and just understanding everything is just false expectations over promising, you know, not setting proper timelines for.

[A]

How quick people could get promoted, how quick they would see career growth, what type of opportunity they would get, how much they have to do to get that opportunity. And because of that, what I've realized is that the team has been set up for resentment. They've been set up for conflict, they've been set up for resentment. And this team really doesn't resemble any other team in my company.

[B]

And so, you know, and I've been.

[A]

Pretty forthright about that and explain this to them because, you know, they know I make this content, these podcasts, and I'm like, here's what's happened.

[B]

Because I want people to understand so.

[A]

That they don't make that mistake themselves. Because everyone, you know, pretty much comes here because they want to grow. I really wanted to go into kind of the fallout of over promising and then how to avoid the over promise trap, right? So let's do a real life example, okay? Say you've got a new teammate and they're super ambitious, they're excited, they're hungry. And then you tell them, you're like, hey, this guy's fucking amazing. I'm going to tell him, hey, listen, buddy, you stick with this project, I'll make sure you get the next big spot. I'll make sure you get the next promotion. You know, I'm going to make sure you get exposure to all the executives. I'm Going to make sure that you get investment from Alex and Layla. I'm going to make sure all these things.

[C]

Right?

[A]

And so they stay late, they skip lunch, they give their all that project ends, and then what happens? The next big project, you give it to someone else. Do they have exposure to the execs, or does it not happen because the timing wasn't right, because you didn't check with people before you made promises, because you didn't really think it through, because maybe you were just excited in the moment. Then what happens? You create a disengaged teammate because they're thinking, why the hell would I go above and beyond when nothing happens? And even worse, they might start talking to other teammates, telling them about what.

[B]

Happened, and then suddenly you have a cultural problem. Because here's the thing, cynicism spreads faster than optimism.

[A]

And so the more cynics there are in your team, the faster bad word will spread.

[B]

And so the question really becomes, how.

[A]

Do we avoid this?

[C]

Right?

[A]

How do we lead our team and excite them but not create false promises of hope?

[B]

And I will say one thing, which.

[A]

Is like, I have just stood by.

[B]

This motto till the end of time, which is, state the facts and tell the truth. Whenever anyone's talking to me, if they're, you know, I had a conversation with a teammate. Oh, gosh, it was about two weeks ago, and they said, hey, here's the.

[A]

Role that I would really like to have in this conversation company. And I just straight up was like, I'm so sorry, but, like, that rule's not going to exist here.

[B]

And so it's my job to be.

[A]

Honest with you, not to lead you on.

[B]

I don't foresee that being a need for our company.

[A]

And so if that's the only role you're open to, I want to be forthright with you right now and let you know that I have no. I have seen no reason why that would exist here.

[B]

You know, though that was disappointing to hear. I also know that what happens if I don't. What happens if I leave that person on? Well, that means that I just set them up to be disappointed later. And what I see especially, like, as I dig into this team specifically, and as I've dug into teams in the.

[A]

Past, is that what you really do is you create a lot of disappointment, debt.

[B]

And so, you know, for me specifically, diving into this department, resetting expectations, talking.

[A]

With everybody, you know, I'm not going.

[B]

To be able to meet the expectations that some of them had set. And I'm going to have to change things, to make sure that, you know, the business, the team can function properly now and in the future. It's going to not be fun for some people because they're like, wait, what the heck?

[A]

I was hoping to get multiple promotions.

[B]

In the next year. And it's like, okay, well, that's not. That's not how it works. We have to do these things and you have to grow in these ways, and these things can take years. And that being said, it's easy to fall into that trap because, you know, if you guys have listened to my podcast recently of being kind, not nice, I think a lot of this revolves around being too nice, you know, wanting to save face. And so you just don't confront those things in the moment.

[A]

Wanting to appease people more than you want to lead with respect and honesty.

[B]

And that's not uncommon for people who are inexperienced in leadership. You know, it's been a reminder to.

[A]

Me as of late, like, how dangerous it can be, how good intentions and malice can still lead to the same path, they can still lead to the same outcome. And it's something that I think most people, unless very experienced, just miss. They don't see that that can happen.

[B]

And I think oftentimes teams don't either, you know, because they think, oh, this.

[A]

Person is saying all these nice things, this person's making all these promises. And then when they don't come to fruition, they're like, oh, it must be upper management, it must be execs. Like, well, what if the execs never knew? What if the founder had no idea? What if nobody knew these promises were being made? And what if what they were being told was completely different?

[B]

Because if you have somebody who likes.

[A]

To please people leading a department, they.

[B]

Want to please the people above them and below them. And so then they're going to make contradicting promises to both levels in the organization, which then creates this contention. Because the people below them think, oh.

[A]

Gosh, it must be their boss that's not meeting these expectations. And then their boss thinks, why do these people have these wildly missed expectations about work? Gosh, it must be them. No, you always have to look at the middle. And it's often the middleman that is the issue, not the person on either side. Side.

[B]

And so the question is, how do.

[A]

We avoid the trap of over promising? And I think this is something that I feel really passionate about because I take it really seriously when people come to work for me. It's like, you come to work here.

[B]

We have to set proper Expectations like.

[A]

That is the one thing I hammer home. It's why I still like taking final interviews, even if somebody's not a manager or an executive.

[B]

Because I want to make sure they know what they're getting into.

[A]

I want to make sure they know.

[B]

Why they're at this company. And something I'm crystal clear about is, like, this company is a great place.

[A]

For people who want to grow.

[B]

But that doesn't mean you get a promotion every year. It doesn't mean your title changes every six months. It doesn't mean you're going to get.

[A]

Discretionary time from Alex and Layla.

[B]

And so how do we avoid this? Here's the thing.

[A]

First off, say less, do more, okay? Stop overhyping everything. If you're not 100% sure, 100%, I would say even 110% sure that you can deliver on an opportunity, then just.

[B]

Do not promise it. Do not say it. It is better to surprise people with.

[A]

More than they expected than to let them down with less. I'll give you an example of this.

[B]

So when it comes to bonuses, when.

[A]

I go to the end of the year, I absolutely put discretionary effort into.

[B]

If I want to give someone more for the bonus.

[A]

Now, do I tell them that ahead of time? Do I tell them, you know, six.

[B]

Months into the year, Do I tell them in December? No, I just throw that shit into their bonus. If I'm like, hey, this person put.

[A]

In discretionary effort, they did more than their job, they went above and beyond. I'm just going to send them more of a bonus.

[B]

And I think that if I were to set that expectation six months ahead of time, it would actually feel really shitty because who knows what they're going to think it's going to be and then it becomes an expectation rather than over delivery, right? So that's one way, I would say. The second way is that whenever somebody is interested in a role, for example, they say, hey, you know, I know I'm coming in here, but I would really like a shot at, you know, say, senior editor or senior social media manager. I would say, okay, great. So I will compare you to outside candidates. And so if you're getting compared to outside candidates, when you are looking to.

[A]

Move into a role, here's how I.

[B]

Would analyze you, and I can actually do an analysis of you right now on your job description and tell you.

[A]

Where you would be falling short and where would you need to improve. It's not my job to give people a promotion.

[B]

It's not my job to give people the Next job, it's my job to.

[A]

Tell them what the gap is and.

[B]

Then tell them how I can support them and then what resources they would need to reach out to outside of me to help them increase those skills.

[A]

I call this like red, yellow, green.

[B]

Essentially, which is I will take a.

[A]

Job description of the job they want and I will highlight in green the things they already do and have skills for.

[B]

In yellow, I will highlight things that.

[A]

They'Re like, eh, kind of, but kind of not. And then red is like, you're not doing this and I don't think you're good at it. This is a great way to give people the power to give themselves more opportunity, right? Rather than just thinking, oh, you know, I was promised a promotion, even though I haven't done anything, I should be getting that promotion, right? But unfortunately, a lot of people do set those expectations, like, we're gonna have so much career growth and this and that.

[B]

And, you know, here's the thing.

[A]

I think career growth is really important.

[B]

I also think there's different ways to.

[A]

Grow in your career.

[B]

And I think that a lot of times, especially when you have a younger team, there's just a mismatch of expectations in terms of timelines. And so timelines have to be explained.

[A]

On the front end. How long would it take to get a promotion? How often do we have a promotion review cycle? And so ultimately, I've just found in every situation, say less, do more, right? Under promise, over deliver.

[B]

It is the best way you can.

[A]

Go about these things.

[B]

Now, the second one is be clear.

[A]

About what you can and can't control.

[B]

What this means is that when you're.

[A]

Talking about growth or an opportunity, you've gotta be honest, okay?

[B]

So instead of saying, hey, this project's gonna fast track your career, say, hey.

[A]

If you take advantage of this project, you put in the fucking work. This is a great chance to get noticed. And hey, if you don't get noticed, at least you gain skills.

[B]

I can't guarantee anything, but this is a step in the right direction.

[A]

Here's the thing, people appreciate honesty more than they appreciate hype.

[B]

And I think that people can feel honesty, and especially once they start to have a leader come in who is honest and isn't overhyping and isn't over promising. They're like, oh, it's kind of a breath of fresh air. Because you're like, you know, before I was just made all these promises and thought that I was entitled to some of these things, but now it's like, okay, I understand clearly. What I need to do to earn these opportunities just like everybody else in the company. And so, for example, when somebody's talking to me and they're saying, hey, I.

[A]

Would really like in the future, like a shot at, I don't know, let's.

[B]

Just say I'm going to make one that doesn't exist.

[A]

Let's say it's VP of sales, right? I would say, great. So like, I would absolutely, you know, give you a shot. But there's a few reasons why that would also not happen. Okay, why? Well, you don't acquire the skills and time.

[B]

The business needs the role.

[A]

That's a very likely one. Our business grows really fast. If you can't keep up and you can't acquire those skills fast enough, then I have to do what's right for the business to protect every person here, which is that means I'm going to have to fill the role from somebody that isn't here today.

[B]

So that could happen.

[C]

Right?

[B]

The business could change.

[A]

Two is you might acquire a lot more skills, but not enough to justify putting you in the role. And we might not have the time to train you on some of those other skills or the resources. Another thing, from there, you might give them the opportunity at say a project.

[B]

Or a job or a role, but they might not slam dunk it. Right?

[A]

And so if they don't put in.

[B]

The work, then they might lose that opportunity. And so what I think we have.

[A]

To be really clear at when we are leaders and we are someone's boss is what we have control of and what we don't and how I put it, is just like this is the standards that you would have to meet to get a new role. These are the standards that you'd have to meet to excel.

[B]

These are the standards you'd have to meet to get a raise if you.

[A]

Don'T meet them with the support I am able to offer, right, which is not, it's not like I'm your full time mentor or full time able to.

[B]

Invest in you with every moment because.

[A]

I have, you know, 10 direct reports.

[B]

Then that means that you might not get that. And that is reality. But here's the thing, guys, it is.

[A]

Cruel to mislead people. It is not cruel to be honest.

[B]

There's nothing wrong with these expectations so long as you are honest upfront.

[A]

And so be clear about what you can control and what you can't control. You can control giving them clarity and giving them support. You can't control how fast they gain those skills. If the business needs them sooner and the amount of work they put in.

[B]

And then lastly, let your actions speak.

[A]

Louder than your words. Delivering on smaller promises consistently is way more powerful than making big promises you can't keep. Okay, so I would say it like this, right? A lot of times when leaders are without knowing over promising to their team, they make a lot of big promises rather than small ones.

[B]

Which is like, I'll give you an example.

[A]

I've seen leaders that over promise say like, dude, if you kill this, like you're definitely going to get a promotion.

[B]

In the next six months.

[A]

Hey, you know, I know your reviews coming up, I'm going to make sure you get promoted. Bad, bad promises, right? Because there's multiple stakeholders involved, there's multiple levels of approval. And if you're over promising, you can damn well bet that the people above you aren't going to let you over promise and follow through with it.

[C]

Right?

[B]

Here's the thing.

[A]

All of these things are controllable. The reason why a lot of leaders still fall prey to their compulsive over promising and being too nice is because of wanting to please people. Wanting to please people, wanting to keep the peace in the team and wanting to not disturb things that are working well.

[B]

And the reality is, is that every time somebody says they want a promotion, they want more opportunity, they're discontent in.

[A]

Their career, they want more things to work on, where's my career going? And you don't tell them exactly what they want to hear. You create short term discomfort.

[B]

But here's the thing, and this is what I'm living out every day, is that if you don't confront that short term discomfort, you create a lot of long term dysfunction.

[A]

A lot.

[B]

And I can tell you, like right.

[A]

Now I'm cleaning up a lot of debt that has been incurred in this team and it sucks. It sucks because I feel bad. I feel bad for the team, you know, I feel bad that this person didn't understand what they were doing. I didn't catch it, I didn't see it, I wasn't close enough to it, you know, and that's just the reality of where it's at. But hey, let's talk about what we can do to rebuild trust after we've over promised, right?

[B]

So you might be sitting here thinking.

[A]

Yeah, fuck, I've over promised. And you know what, if I don't keep up with these promises, my team might lose faith in me. First thing is that you can rebuild trust. It's just gonna take time, it's gonna take work. Okay? So let's talk about how we can turn this around and how I have been implementing this into my own team. Okay? First is you've gotta own it. You have to go to the team.

[B]

And say expectations were not realistic.

[A]

And here's the thing, I, for example, didn't set the expectations, but I will still take accountability and say, I messed up. I should have found this, I should have caught it. I'm sorry, it's not your fucking fault. First off, take responsibility. Address what you've done wrong. Do not blame anybody there. It's not their fucking fault. It's your fault.

[C]

Right?

[A]

It is always the leader's fault. And if anything, it's the leader above the leader.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Like, I take responsibility for this because I'm like, I should have caught this sooner. I should have known. I've seen these patterns before, but I was distracted and didn't notice it until it was too late.

[C]

Right?

[B]

Second thing is, explain the why, okay? If something changed, explain what happens.

[A]

Transparency goes such a long way, which is essentially, here's what I thought, here's why I realized I couldn't make that happen, and here's what I'm going to do moving forward.

[B]

And so explain the mistake you made.

[A]

Explain what your rationale was so that people don't think you're some evil fuck who's just like, wants to, you know, ruin people's lives. And you're over promising and you're just like a sleaze because that's what people will think if you don't explain this.

[B]

And then explain, hey, I'm going to fix this to the best of my ability. Here's what I'm going to do instead. And here's what I'm going to do to make sure this doesn't happen again. That goes a long way. Because here's the thing, people just want to hear you take ownership. People are smart, they're intuitive, they know whose fault it is when these things happen. And so it's like you want to make sure that you are constantly reiterating to them.

[A]

This is not on them. It's not.

[B]

And you can't really fully assess a teammate who's like discontent or disgruntled or.

[A]

Maybe underperforming if you've been overpromising. Overpromising truly leads to underperforming. And so until you've fixed that and you've properly set expectations, it's really hard to gauge how anyone on the team is doing.

[B]

And then the last one is start.

[A]

Small, focus on delivering small, small, small, small, small, tiny, commitments. And over time, as long as you keep those commitments, your team is going to build trust in you. Okay, so for example, when I came into this team, I said, here's all the things I want feedback on. Lastly though, be patient. I will not be able to fix all these things at once. I will not be able to tackle.

[B]

These all at once.

[A]

I actually don't want to make any huge changes at the moment. I want to start with small, small changes and I want to work on rebuilding trust in this team. And so I'm very cognizant of not over committing myself because especially for me as the CEO and leader of the company, I have a million things that are on my plate. I have fires that are truly existential to the business. At any point in time that you're, you know, it's like you're fighting off the dragons, you're building the castle. It's like you're doing all of it.

[B]

At the same time.

[A]

You are not going to be able to deliver as much as some people. And that goes for whether you're a CEO, a founder, or even a leader of multiple departments. You have to make sure that you don't over promise when you're rebuilding trust. It's more important that you keep the promises you make than you make the promises they want. So to wrap this up, leadership is not about promising your team the world. Okay? It's about creating an environment where you set proper expectations and they know what they can do to meet those expectations and what happens if they do or if they don't. When you over promise, you break that trust, even if your intentions are good. So stop trying to be such a good guy. Stop trying to be this amazing superhero. Be real. Be consistent. Show up for your team every day. And if you do that, you will build trust and loyalty. And people in the long term will appreciate the honesty more than they will being misled. Because over promising is the easiest way to underdeliver and under delivering is the fastest way to lose trust.