A (0:01)

What is up, guys? Welcome back to Build. And today I want to talk about the anti resolution reset that I did in 2025 and how it's led into 2026 and some tactical takeaways that you guys can apply maybe going into your 2026. So I was thinking about what would be helpful to talk about right now, because I will be honest. Like, I look on my podcast feed and I look on YouTube, it's like everything is about the new Year and setting New Year's resolutions and what you should do, what you shouldn't do. And there's just like an overwhelm of advice, which is, like, fairly repetitive and rudimentary. And I don't want you guys to get that from me, but I have had a lot of people asking me about what to do, what not to do. And so I was like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm just gonna share my recent experiences because I'm somebody who has done New Year's resolutions. I have not done New Year's resolutions. I have changed many things many times in my life, and I still continue to do so. And I just want to share some recent things that I did this last year that worked really well for me and kind of how I got to that point. So I'll kind of take you guys back. Because last January, I literally remember it, like, so clearly. I was staring, looking at my calendar, and I realized something that was pretty unsettling. But I realized looking at it and trying to figure out where I was going to fit all of my new goals into, there was nowhere to fit them into. So, like, literally, I remember looking at my calendar and I was like, okay, maybe an hour here, maybe 30 minutes here, but then if I have to transition, I have to do this. And I was like, what the fuck? How the fuck am I supposed to do more than I'm doing now? And I think it's because, you know, for a lot of people in general, when you think about adding in a goal, you don't want to drop anything that you're currently working on. I just happen to always, I would say, like, already have been pretty maxed out where I was. And what I kind of realized was, like, I had spent at that point an entire year adding things to my life. And I did accomplish a ton, especially in 2024, but I was miserable. Like, and I want to make this really obvious. I was miserable because of the volume, not because of the work. I think that's a really important caveat. Like, it's not like any piece of the work I didn't enjoy, it's that doing it all in a matter that I was rushed sucked. And I don't know about you, but if you have to rush through every single thing you're doing in your life, like rushing through your workout, rushing through making a podcast, rushing through making content, rushing through doing a meeting, rushing to creating something, it's like, it's not even enjoyable because you're just looking at the clock and you're like, fuck, I have to get to the next thing. I've got to get the next. And so you're, like, halfway, not even present in the moment, because you're constantly looking at the thing that you have to do next. And what I realized looking at my calendar is I was like, fuck. Every goal that I add creates more obligation and more space on my calendar. Every commitment creates a new constraint to what I can't do now or what I'm already struggling with, keeping up with. And every yes or everything that I decide to pursue, it literally just removes capacity from a system that already doesn't have capacity. And at some point, I think what I realized is, like, I woke up to the fact that I had created this, like, productivity, almost like a prison for myself, because this is the thing. It is not hard for me to do more stuff. It's not like I am the queen of being able to do a lot of shit. I can handle a lot of information, a lot of work, a lot of stress, a lot of cognitive load. Like, I can handle it. But at some point, you have to wake up and ask yourself, why am I doing this? And you kind of realize, like, is this really what productivity is? If I'm not able to be present in all the things that I'm doing, is that even best for the task at hand? I started really thinking about it. I was like, I don't think it is. There's no way that me being exhausted and resentful in some of my meetings and interactions I'm having is good for me or for my team. And so I talked to one of my coaches at the time, and he said something. He just goes, literally, what I want you to do is write down every single thing you do. And I was like, I've done this a million times. I do do it frequently for myself. I was like, all right, whatever, whatever. I'll do it. And so I write down everything I'm doing, overseeing, working, on, thinking about. And, guys, it was seven pages long. It was ridiculous. And as I wrote it down, I remember feeling so overwhelmed by it. Which is crazy because I'll be honest with you guys, until the last six months, that was how I felt all the time. And. And I say that because, listen, I decided to make this change at one point, but it takes a while to actually make a change when you operate a certain way for such a long period of time. And so when I wrote that list down, that was literally when it clicked, because he said something to me that I really hit and will hit with a lot of you who love setting goals, love achieving things, love being productive, which is, he said you operate at 100% capacity and have zero buffer. So if a problem occurs, if sun doesn't go to plan, if you want to do something new, you have nowhere to pull from. And it seems so fucking obvious because, like, of course that's the truth. Like, look at my calendar. Like, that's how I'm operating. But for some reason in my mind, it was like, well, I don't know, it was like, there's gotta be more somewhere, right? Or like, there's the time when I sleep or the time when I eat, or like, I just was. I did. I started sacrificing things like that at some point. Which, by the way, for short periods of time, I'm a fan of, for long periods. Probably not the best thing when I'm doing it for a decade. And so that's kind of when it clicked for me. I was like, the problem is not that I need better systems, it's that I just keep adding to a system that's already full. Like, straight up. I'm ignoring reality. And so I kind of came to this conclusion, which I wrote down some of my notes and I found them from last year. And I wrote this down for myself. I wrote down why addition always fails. And this is what I wrote. Here's what nobody tells you about January. The entire culture is designed to make you add. You add in a workout routine, you add in a side hustle, you add in reading, you add in networking, you add in making more money. And all of it sounds right. Because we've been conditioned to believe that growth requires addition. But here's the truth. Most people already have too much on their plates. They have too many commitments, too many half finished projects, too much half finished work, and too many people in their calendar who shouldn't even be there in the fucking first place. You don't need more goals. You need to eliminate the weight and the things that are keeping you from executing on what already matters and what matters most. For most of my Life. I believed that if something wasn't hard, it probably wasn't worth doing. That difficulty itself was proof enough that I was always on the right path if it was really hard to do so. I have made everything hard for myself. Every meeting has required immense preparation. Every workout was incredibly punishing, and every decision required deliberation. And every day was mentally and physically exhausting. I have thought up until this point in my life that meant I was winning. Here's what I see now that I didn't see before. When everything is hard, nothing is sustainable. When everything requires effort, you have no energy left for the things that actually matter. I'm not disciplined. I am exhausted. And calling it dedication. I wrote that to myself a year ago and I read it to you guys now because that was the premise at which I started 2025. And fortunately or unfortunately, life has this funny way of forcing you into the growth when you don't even know if you're ready yet. And so I ended up having a ton of personal issues arise this year with my health that forced me so quickly into this transition that I didn't even know if I was truly committed to making. Like, I wanted to be committed to making. But I think it felt so foreign to me. It's like, okay, well, am I. Am I not like, you know, it's hard if you're like, this is how I've operated for a long time. And so it was a difficult thing to, I would say, like, break out from. So I want to kind of walk you guys through like, what was going on, how I was operating and how I operate differently now. And I would just say, like, how it's working for me. So I want to be really specific about what all the addition cost me that I wasn't really recognizing at that point in my life. And I just, in that point in time, started to become aware of, I think, one piece that is important to me now that I think you take advantage of and probably take for granted, especially when you're younger. But I think I kind of woke up and realized, like, I'm not that young anymore. It's like I was caffeinated from the moment that I woke up until mid afternoon, if not later, just to maintain function. Like, I was agreeing to meetings with people I knew I would never work with again just because I didn't want to seem unavailable. I was spending hours and hours every week on problems that my team could have fucking solved themselves. But they asked me and I felt like I couldn't say no and I needed to Create space for them. And if I said no, I was a bad boss and I don't act like a pushover at all, but, like, I definitely care a lot. And so all these things, like, it was like, I kept adding more and more and more. And I think that's like what January and a lot of people tell you to do is, like, build these systems and do these things. But, like, what if the system you have is already capped? And I think it's like, what nobody is saying is, like, every single thing that you add costs you something else. Every goal that you stack on taxes your energy from the goals that you already have and are trying to maintain. And so every person that you let into your calendar is going to take time from other people or from you and time that you actually want for yourself. And so I started really thinking about the fact that oftentimes when we are adding things to our plate, we're not making our life better. We're diluting current things that sustain us in the hope that something else will be better. But it might not, or it might not outweigh the fact that now you don't do this other thing that you love. And so now you're just like, it's like a net zero. Like, you've added nothing. You've just traded one thing for another. And so I started realizing this and, like, really thinking about how I operate. And I was like, wow, I do so many things to try and, like, sustain this level of output that I actually don't really think are reasonable. Like, I'm not really sure I should be doing this. Like, I said, like, I was caffeinated all the time. And ironically, when I started eliminating things, one of the first things I did before I go into, like, the mindset shifts and the practical decisions I made is I got rid of caffeine. I know that sounds insane, and you're probably like, I'm so confused. Why would you do that? I got rid of caffeine because I felt like it was enabling me. Because if I drink caffeine, I typically commit to more than I probably should. I tend to think I can go longer than I can. And then what ends up happening is like, I'll just, like, have a crash later. And then I'm like, fuck, I'm so tired. I'm so this. Or why did I commit to all this stuff? And then in order to fulfill in the commitments I made when I was heavily caffeinated, I have to caffeinate more to keep up with it. Even when it came to like, making content. I would do film days where it was like, okay, eight, nine hours with, like, very little break at all. Even. Not even to eat. Like, I literally, on film days, didn't eat. I lost, like, half the reason I lost so much weight in the last couple years. And, you know, doing that, it's like, I would the next day feel hungover, but then I would just drink more caffeine to try and, you know, get at it again because I'd overcommitted myself. And so the first thing I did is I. I cut caffeine. I know that sounds crazy, but, like, I cut the caffeine because I was like, it's an enablement drug for me. Like, I just. I shouldn't. And I want to be clear, too. Like, I was not a caffeine addict by any means. I was only having, like, a full cup of coffee and maybe a second. So, like, if you're like, oh, I don't drink that much, like, dude, until you get off of it, like, I can promise you, like, even one cup is quite a bit. And I do think that there's health benefits, by the way, to consuming a certain amount of caffeine. So I'm not, like, completely against it, but I will just say, like, my life is better without it. And I think I make better decisions in many ways when I have more natural ways of making myself alert in the mornings. So that being said, that was the first thing I did. The next thing I did is I said, I need to eliminate so many goals. Instead of having all these goals, I want to make decisions. And I think that's actually what I think with, like, having goals, blah, blah, blah. And then people, like, make systems to help you achieve your goals. But, like, all oftentimes it's like, you have to make a decision. And I think I realized I was like, I have a lot of goals that are almost like placeholders for decisions. And I'll kind of explain the difference to you. I think that goals keep options open. You're like, I want to achieve this thing. And I think if I do this, maybe I'll get it. Or, like, you know, you're just not really sure. You're just like, I want to achieve this thing. Decisions close loops. And so I made decisions rather than goals. I said, like, I will not overbook myself out of these windows, right? Instead of, I should try and have better boundaries. I want to have better boundaries. That's my goal. I just decided I will have boundaries. These are the boundaries I stick to. Once I did It. And I said it, like, this is permanent. I'm not negotiating with it. The second thing is, I said, you know what? I decided I will not commit out of obligation or fear, which meant that I had to go back and cancel things, which sucks. Like, I had to tell people, no. I had to disappoint people who thought that they had access to my time or to be around me in some way, whatever that might be. And that sucked. I disappointed people who thought that they were going to have access to me, and they didn't like it, but I made a decision. So I stick with my decisions. And then I decided I will not prioritize goals at the expense of my life and health, which meant, like, some things that were really hard for me that I've done for 15 years. Like, not even kidding, 15 years. That means that my workouts are shorter. I'm not gonna punish myself in the gym for two hours a day. My travel was less frequent, and my commitments were ruthlessly filtered because I said, I'm not going to sacrifice the quality of my life just for these things. Because at some point, when does it end? So that was the first thing I did. I really just said, like, these are all the things I'm eliminating. And then I wrote down a list of other things that I just didn't want in my life anymore. And this started with, you know, when I looked at my incredibly packed calendar, I said, what are things that drain my energy that I just don't want to make room for in my life anymore, and how do I just get rid of those things? And so here are the things that I got rid of. And I actually think I've done such a good job of this, which is crazy to look back on and think this was so much easier than writing down a goal. 1. I said, I am no longer available for venting sessions disguised as one on ones. If you don't want a solution, I am not your person. I took a lot of calls with people on my team and outside of my team and friends that just want to vent to me about things and wanted emotional support. But what I realized is, like, I need a emotional support. And you know how I support my emotions, not being somebody else. Emotional absorption, donkey and so, or camel, whatever you want to call it. I felt like a camel of other people's emotions. And I was like, oh, my God, I actually fucking hate this. Like, I am very good at it. I also really fucking don't like it because it's exhausting and I have so many more important Things I need to be doing in my life and for my company, that I can't make space for everyone's emotions all the time. It's just, it's too much and I didn't want to be doing it. I really feel like I've made huge progress there. When somebody is having emotional problems, this is the trigger. I tell myself I actually just say out of my scope. It's not within my scope of my job to eliminate someone's emotional issues from their life. And I started doing this with a lot of people. And I will say I saw people from my team actually leave because I think that they, a huge amount of value they got from me was that I was so emotionally supportive. But you know, I just realized like, I'm not a full time therapist. I can't do this for the rest of my life and I don't want to. So that was one of the things that I said I'm no longer available for. I also said when it comes to friends, I am no longer available for people that I don't want to spend 80 hours with. Now this came from, I saw a study that basically said that friendships take 80 hours to make. And so what I started doing is when I meet somebody, I would say, do I want to spend 80 hours with them? And if I don't want to spend 80 hours with them, then I'm like, I don't think that they're the right friend for me because that just tells me like, I just don't think I need to do that. I just don't. And so that was another thing I did. I just stopped having a lot of these, like, surface level, keep in touch, whatever. Like, I would just rather have peace of mind, read a book than like keep in touch with a million different people that I don't actually want to be friends with. And so I just stopped. And then the other thing I stopped. I said I'm not going to require myself to do a two hour workout or two hours of working out in a day anymore. I think for me that's something that carried over from fitness and I think it's very good to work out. I have not stopped working out. If I have to work out two hours a day to maintain my body, then I'm good. Like I. And I'll tell you guys, like, it's hard for me because like, I don't look the same as I did, but I have so much more time for things that are more important in my life. And that's definitely been like a big Easier ego. It's hard for my ego because I know how to work out two hours a day and do that. And I also don't want to anymore. It just. I would rather spend my life giving back to others, doing something meaningful, making other people's lives better, protecting my peace of mind than punishing my body every day for that long. And so every single one of those things that I cut it gave me a lot back, like, a lot of energy, a lot of focus, like, more space to enjoy things. Now, I will say I had a lot of other stuff happen this year that probably prevented that, but now that I'm getting back around to it and things are different, it is cool to actually, like, reap the benefits of some of these things that I. I knew I wanted to do last year. And I think the thing that people, a lot, get wrong about elimination is that they think elimination is sacrifice. But I actually don't think it's sacrifice. I think it's. It's almost like reclaiming what you already gave away without realizing it. It's like, I realize what I gave away and I want it back. And so you're just taking back something that you might not have even known that you had given away. And so when I think about January, I think about. It's not about adding, like, boundaries to your calendar. I think it's about removing things that drain you of your energy or you no longer want to, like, spend your energy on, which I think is incredibly reasonable. Now, one thing that I realized in doing this is that for years, I relied on a lot of willpower. And by the way, I've read every book on willpower, and it's finite and all these things, but guess what? When you have a lot of it, who gives a fuck? You can rely on it. And I have a ton of willpower. Like, I can suffer, and I can suffer well. And I think anybody that knows me knows this and would probably echo the same thing. Like, I don't have a problem with that. You know? What I didn't realize is that because I did that, I eliminated all these things. It removed the need to exercise so much willpower on things that weren't worth it. So what does that mean? It's like, when I stopped over committing myself and, like, overriding my system essentially, or over committing this system that I had, I actually got to perform at my best, and I got to realize where my real limits were and when my actual energy is best because I wasn't burning it on all this stupid shit that I didn't need to be burning it on. And the irony of that is that the hard things that I kept in my life got easier. Like, way fucking easier. Like, things that felt so impossible a year ago, like, mentally taxing or like, oh my gosh, like, suddenly it was just not a big deal. And I like, really think that's because I actually just had the cognitive and emotional bandwidth to actually deal with them. Like, now I come back to things and I'm like, oh, that's really not that hard. Like, I don't know why I couldn't see that before. And then, like, I was just like, so in it. I was so over committed with other things and so much other stuff that I was saying yes to. And I was committed to that. Like, that was the issue. It wasn't anything else. And so what I realized from that is, like, when you cut the things that drain you, you don't need so much willpower to show up for the things that matter. You just do them and you have energy and you have enthusiasm and you're not dreading them. And so a huge piece that I learned is, if your year requires you to have more discipline, you probably just designed it wrong, right? Like, if you already are enacting a lot of discipline, you're, like, looking at your, like, I'm gonna need more. It's like, what if we just didn't do that and we could succeed as well without doing that? Wouldn't that be cool? I think so too. I'm like, I already use a lot of discipline. Like, if I can save ways from doing that, then, like, it would make my life much easier. And so I really realized in this last year in, you know, like, committing some of those things to myself last year, I rely now on one standard, which is that nobody knows the best use of my time better than me. Like, that's it. I know how to use my time. I know where I want my time to go. And I am very deliberate about it. And when I violate it, like, I give my time away, I say yes to something that I know doesn't actually serve me. I can feel it immediately. It's like a lack of self respect, a break in trust with myself. And I try really hard to course correct quickly, but that is a real thing. And so it's just been a huge realization for me. This year is like, that's my job to protect my time better than anything. Like, I cannot rely on anybody on the face of this earth to do that for me. Better than me. And so I realized that when you eliminate things, one thing that becomes much easier is like, it's not even. Standards don't motivate you to do more. They just protect you from doing what? Doesn't matter that that's it. This is what I would encourage you guys to do. My challenge to you is like, you might have already made January goals or, like, looked at things for January or started on like a New Year's resolution or. But if this resonates with you, this is what I would just ask you to do. To audit one. Before you add a single goal, please eliminate something. Goals have a cost. What is this goal going to cost you? And then pay that now by deliberately eliminating it so that you can succeed in the other thing. The second thing that I would say for you is eliminate the things that are not worth your energy. Eliminate a relationship that has been there that you just. You're not into it. It's just not the best friendship for you. It's just not the best person for you. Whatever it is, it's just like, you don't. You're not overjoyed with seeing it on your account. You're not overjoyed by hanging out with them. You're not overjoyed by being with them. If you aren't, then just cut it. And it's not like a ruthless, like, oh, my God, people are toxic. I'm not saying that. But, like, you only have so much fucking time. Like, don't waste it hanging out with people that you just don't want to hang out with for whatever reason that might be. You don't fucking need to explain. There are a billion people this fucking earth that you can hang out with. I promise you, you can find somebody else besides that one person that you kind of always, like, dread seeing. That's on your calendar anyways. I would say eliminate a routine if it feels like punishment and it feels like it stresses you out. A huge piece advice I got maybe a decade ago is like, you want to have a routine. You don't want the routine to have you. If your routine is preventing you from having the life you want, revisit it. Just revisit it. And out of all this, just cut one thing. Just cut it completely and just observe what happens. Because the thing that people don't really talk about and focus on with elimination is it's not just about having you do less stuff. It's about making you more available and present for the things that do matter. So you can put all of your energy into those things that you actually love and will actually expand your life and make it as good as you want it to be. That being said, I don't think most people listening to this podcast need more ambition. I think you need more margin in your life and to eliminate the things that don't bring you joy, don't bring you happiness, don't get you closer to your goals and just aren't serving you. So I hope that was helpful for you guys. Happy New Year. Happy beginning of January. Whenever you're listening to this, whenever this goes out, I appreciate you guys. I hope this was helpful, sharing just kind of my personal experience. Again, this is not a pulpit. This is just my own documentation of what works for me and I will see you guys on the next one.