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What's up, guys? Welcome back to Build. And today I want to talk about the difference between rush and speed. Over the last two weeks, I have had a lot to think about. My sister had a baby, which was amazing, and my husband's mother, unfortunately passed away, which was obviously not amazing. But it's been really interesting period for me because I think anytime things like this happen in your life, it really provokes a period of reflection. And I think if there's anything I've had this year, it's been a lot of things that have caused me to reflect and just think about life. Think about the way that I operate, especially with just what's happened the last few weeks. You know, one life ending and one life beginning. Just such insanely different feelings, just really showcasing the dichotomy of life. And it really had me pausing. And when I say pausing, I was asking myself a few questions, because when all these things were happening, right, my sister's having a baby. I find out that my husband's mother has passed away. I realized how much of a rush I felt like I was in. And I'm not always in a rush, but I do tend to. To do that sometimes. And I stopped and I asked myself these questions. I was like, why am I rushing? What am I trying to hurry for? Am I rushing or am I just going fast? And that line of questioning really led me to think about, you know, some things that I learned early on in my career about going quickly, which really then had me thinking, well, what is the difference between when I know that I'm going fast versus when I'm really rushing? And I sat with that for many days. I went on a walk, and I just. I didn't listen to anything. And I just. I just thought about it. I was just thinking. I wrote some thoughts down, and I reflected on it in my conversations I was having over the week. And I came up with some, I would say, like, principles that have helped me think through. Okay, now I can bring awareness to when I'm rushing versus going fast, which, for me, this is what I've realized the difference is. The difference is going fast is moving towards something. Like, almost every time I go fast is because I have the utmost clarity about something that I want to move towards. Right when I'm rushing, it's because I am moving out of anxiety or fear. I don't want to feel this anxiety anymore. I don't want to feel this fear anymore. And so I'm trying to get out of that. And I will say that like many of you, the first part of my career was a lot more. I say like many of you, but maybe like many of you, the first part of my career was a lot more rushing. You know, poor, didn't have money, didn't have experience, scared of being poor again. You know, there's just so many things that would be floating through my head that I was always in a state of rush. Like, I was perpetually rushing through my life because I just wanted to get out of the pain I was in. And I think that's really normal. But I'm definitely not in that space in my life anymore. And so it had me really thinking, like, well, what the are you still rushing for? Like, you have nothing to run from, right? And that's when I really realized that a lot of the rushing is in my head. And I wrote down, you know, five, six principles that have helped me over the last week think about this difference. And I want to tell you guys why this is important to me. It's important because. And this. I don't want this to sound morbid, but when you're at somebody's funeral, somebody that you were close to, somebody that was family, somebody that is incredibly important in your spouse's life or your life, a lot of things come up. And one of the things that came up for me was, who's going to be at my funeral? And why am I rushing towards that? I mean, it sounds morbid, but really I'm rushing to die. Like, if we rush through life, we're essentially rushing to the grave. I thought about it a lot and I was like, wow, that feels scary for one, that I rush because in general, that means that I am rushing towards the end of my life, right? Like, what are you rushing towards? Like, this is all gonna end one day. Like, the music is gonna turn off. And so, gosh, I have chills thinking about it because I had that realization at the funeral. And I thought to myself, like, what are you rushing for, Layla? Like, that's what's waiting is. Is this. Is. There's a day when everyone's gonna say that they knew you, and hopefully they'll say good things, but your life will be over, so why are you rushing? And that was really eye opening for me and led me to think, like, I really don't. I really want to work on even more not rushing, because I've gotten rid of a lot of things that have caused me to rush, but I still perpetuate it myself at times. And that being said, I'll kind of walk you guys through the things that I was thinking about when I went on this walk and how I kind of broke it down in my own head. The first thing I wrote down was, when I rushed, I feel resistance. When I go fast, I feel like I'm in flow, okay? So when I'm rushing through something, it feels forced. That's what I realized. Like, that's the. If there's one thing that is true about when I rush versus when I'm just going fast, it's like when I rush, it's usually. It doesn't feel easy, it feels hard, right? It's like I'm forcing timelines, I'm forcing outcomes, I'm forcing people. I'm trying to, you know, get people to do things fast. It just feels. It doesn't feel good, right? It feels hard. It feels like running uphill, pushing a boulder, and there's just tons of resistance versus when I go fast, it's almost like I'm releasing resistance. And this is what I wrote down. I'm aligned with reality. Now. What does that mean? It means that when I really think about the things that I rush, I think I rush a lot of the times because I want it to happen faster. And then I think to myself, well, does it ever actually make it happen faster, or does it just feel like I have some sense of control over the situation because I'm doing something about it, right? When in reality, the same outcome could occur whether I would have rushed it or not and I would have had more peace of mind along the way, really something that I stopped and I was thinking about. And so that was the first principle. It's like, when I'm in flow and I feel clear, things just move, and I move with them. And I'm not trying to shepherd reality into existence. It's just that I have clarity and it makes it easy, right? So that's the first principle that I wrote down that was super helpful framework for me because I actually think that in business and in life, when things feel hard, you need to slow down. I remember one of my first mentors told me that it's like when it's hard, you actually want to slow down. Because it usually means that, again, you're arguing with reality, something isn't right about the thing you're doing. I want you guys to think about this, whether it's your life, your relationships, your health, like, if it feels incredibly hard, right? Everything takes effort. Don't get me wrong there. Effort, like, working out takes effort. Building business takes effort. All these things take effort. But it feels really hard. Like you've tried a million ways hard. It's like, let's slow down. So that's the first piece that I was really reflecting on and thinking about my life and how this shows up. The second is that I feel like when I rush, it comes from a place of emotional reactivity. Whereas when I'm just going fast, it's when I'm very emotionally regulated. Like, I feel like I'm in a good space, if that makes sense. Rushing feels fear driven. It feels like missing out. It feels like the fear of being judged or losing or letting somebody down. Whereas going fast, it feels like it comes from discipline on acting on what's important and clear, not what feels urgent. And I think it's interesting when you think about the word even urgent. What word can be derived from urgent urge? So it's really interesting. Urges are also oftentimes compulsions. It's like we're compelled. We feel a compulsion to do something because of a strong urgent. And I think that oftentimes these things are so easy to get conflated. But I really believe that when I rush my emotions, my urges, that sense is what's driving me versus when I'm going fast. It's my values that are. And what it means is that what I think, what I say and what I do are all in alignment. Therefore, it feels easy to do. There's little resistance from the universe, from the world, because things are aligned. And so that was the second thing that I wrote down. And what I realized that a lot of the times when. This is the thing. I really want you guys to think about this, because I. I really have to pause when things feel really hard, when you feel confused, when you feel stuck, when it feels heavy. It. What our natural inclination is. Like, let's get out of it. Like, I'll tell you, like, I have a department that I've been dealing with that it feels heavy and. And it's just not feeling great. And I found myself, like, running into action to fix it. I was like, I'm gonna do this, this, this, all these things. I'm gonna blah, blah, blah. I'm gonna, like, get this together and this, that. And then I sat there and I was thinking, and I was like, oh, okay, if these principles are true, like, something still doesn't feel right. And then what's gonna happen is I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna do all these things. I'm gonna make all this stuff happen. I'm gonna have all this activity, and then a Few weeks later or a month later, I'm going to realize that it was all wrong. Why? Because it didn't come from the right place. I didn't act because I was aligned. I acted out of an urge to get out of pain because I don't like it. I don't like how things are. I don't like what I see, I don't like what it feels like right now, right? And so I said to myself, I was like, okay, until I feel completely emotionally regulated about this issue and I feel completely clear on how to solve the problem. And I'm not solving it to get myself out of pain, but I'm solving it because it's, it feels aligned with the future vision I have, etc. Etc. Then until then, I'm just not going to do anything. I'm going to wait, I'm going to try to get clear. I'm not going to rush, even if I know people want me to, even if I know people are in pain, even if I know. Because what creates more pain is when we take action out of that place of emotional reactivity. Whenever we do that in our business, it never results in something that we want, right? And so I had to remind myself of this because I was like, well, oh boy, this feels like quite a bit of pain. And I realized I was like, that's okay, it's okay. And I can say this is a pain or I could just say this is a pain in the ass and I don't need to suffer. I don't need to compound on this pain by rushing and maybe making decisions that aren't aligned with the future and won't be the best to pan out. And that's okay. The third thing I wrote down is that rushing feels like. It feels like, I don't know the right word for this armor, a mask. Whereas, like when you go fast, it feels like you're clear but open and vulnerable. Like when I rush, it feels like it feels like trying to appease other people, trying to look busy, capable ahead for everyone else. Even if you know that it's not right for you, even if you don't necessarily feel like this is like the exact move you should be making right now. And so when I stop, I would say, like going fast requires clarity and vulnerability to say no or to say that you need to slow down or to let go or to admit what actually matters and take care of yourself and take care of other things along the way. Right? I think a lot of the times rushing feels like what we do to look good for others rather than what feels good for us. And you might find yourself in your business doing things that feel good for other people but not for you. You might find yourself doing things that appease other people, but they don't appease you. And this is super common, and it's okay, but if we become aware of it, then we can do something about it. And I think that's the most important part. And when I was thinking about, you know, this department that I was trying to work through, I realized I was like, oh, a huge piece of me rushing is me feeling like people are waiting on me. They're like, oh, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Layla's going to fix it. How are you going to fix it? What are you going to do? How are we going to do this? And then they're also trying to rush because they don't know any better. And so they're like, hey, what are we going to do? How are we going to do this? We should do this and all these things, right? And then I feel like, oh, shit, I don't want to be the slow one. Don't want to let them down. Got to keep up, got to do all these things. But what if we said, no, we actually need to slow down, we need to reevaluate, we need to get clear. And if that takes a month, if it takes two months, that's okay. We're going to deal with it and we're going to be okay. It might be a little uncomfortable, but we're going to be okay. Like, it is what it is. The fourth thing I wrote down is that this is probably fairly obvious, but it was not necessarily obvious to me, which is, like, rushing feels very busy, whereas going fast feels peaceful. It's like rushing feels like when you're spinning tires in the mud, you're, like, trying and you're getting, like, a little bit, a little bit, a little bit. But you're like, jesus, the amount of juice I've got to put into this thing to get it to just move out of this ditch is ridiculous, right? Whereas when I'm going fast, it feels calm and sometimes even boring because it's clarity and there's systems and people get it and they all work together. It's not me against the world trying to manifest this thing into my life. And I say manifest as in, like, just bring it to fruition. I think a lot of the time what happens is that we. We feel very busy because we're doing something that we do not need to be doing at that moment. We feel very busy because we feel confused. We change direction multiple times. We try different solutions because we haven't taken the time to actually get crystal clear on the problem. Then what you do is you do all this busy work to solve the thing, rather than doing the head work, the thinking work, to think through it. Another thing I realized was with this problem I'm dealing with, I've created a. A lot of busy work for myself. When in reality, I need to do the thought work. I need to do a lot of the thinking work to get through it. And I think those two things are very easy to conflate because oftentimes we feel like, no, I am doing the work, though, because I need to figure this out. I need to. It's like, but are we asking the biggest question? Are we even asking, am I solving the right problem? Should I be the one solving this problem? Those are questions you have to ask yourself. So something that was really helpful for me was when I asked, should I be the one solving this problem? My answer was actually no. And I told the team. I was like, there's somebody missing here. This is not my problem to solve. However, there's nobody else here, so I will solve it for now, but I will solve it by finding the person. So I chunked up above the problem and got to. I would call it like the problem above the problem. The last thing I wrote down is that rushing is selfish. Going fast is selfless. I know you're probably like, that doesn't make any sense. Okay? But think about like this. Whenever I rush, especially in my business, I leave a mess for other people. For my team, for my future self, for my husband, for my family. Like, I always leave a mess for other people when I rush. And you probably can relate. You probably leave a mess to other people, right? And so what I've realized is that rushing just creates future debt that you or somebody else has to pay off. Going fast, on the other hand, means others can trust you to move at a pace without breaking stuff. And I think what that is is like in the highest form, that is generosity. It is being generous in the short term and the long term. And you might be thinking to yourself, well, I really need to get through this thing, or, I really need to solve this, or, these people are in pain. But you are the one that knows, you know, deep down, while you're listening to this, you know, are you rushing or are you going fast? And what is appropriate for the situation you're in and if you can relate to this and you're like, I am rushing, I don't think I should be. And you know what? I do think it's going to cause problems later on. I do think it's going to accumulate more things and I'm going to have to clean these up later, then slow down and be fucking unapologetic about it. The question that I keep coming back to is really simple. Does my speed create peace or does it create problems? If it creates problems, I'm rushing. If it creates peace, probably going fast. The last couple weeks really reminded me a lot of how fragile life is. You know, losing somebody and then welcoming someone in the same, in the same time frame really puts a lot in perspectives. And I really thought a lot about how this applies to my life. And I realized that the people who win are not the ones who rush, especially not the ones who rush the fastest. They are the ones who master going fast in a calm, clear, consistent way that does not break them, the people around them, or the other areas of their life. So what I would urge you all to do is that this week, when you feel the urge to hurry, do the opposite and ask yourself, does my speed create peace or does it create problems? Am I reacting from fear or am I acting out of clarity? I appreciate you guys. I hope you are all having a great day, week, workout, lunch break, bathroom break, whatever it might be, and I will catch you on the next one.