Build with Leila Hormozi: Episode 293 – “Throwback: Why You Should Stop Saying Sorry”
Release Date: July 4, 2025
In Episode 293 of “Build with Leila Hormozi,” Leila delves into the nuanced dynamics of apologies within personal and professional relationships. Drawing from her extensive experience scaling businesses and managing teams, Leila offers insightful perspectives on why frequent apologies might be counterproductive and how actions speak louder than words in fostering an unshakable business culture.
1. The Pitfall of Verbal Apologies
Leila begins by challenging the conventional notion that saying "I'm sorry" is sufficient for mending relationships or rectifying mistakes. She emphasizes that actions must follow words to demonstrate genuine remorse and commitment to change.
“If you really want to apologize, show them with your actions that you agree it was unacceptable if it was. And I think that saying words to somebody seems lazy in my opinion.”
— Leila Hormozi [02:15]
She critiques the superficial use of apologies, highlighting scenarios where individuals apologize without altering their behavior, thereby rendering the apology meaningless.
2. Apologies Without Consequences: A Leadership Concern
Leila expresses frustration with leaders who frequently apologize for negative behaviors but fail to implement consequences or foster meaningful change within their teams.
“If somebody says I'm sorry, then is like, okay, there are no consequences and there is no feedback.”
— Leila Hormozi [07:45]
She argues that without accountability, apologies become a shield that allows detrimental behaviors, such as bullying, to persist unchecked, ultimately harming team morale and business performance.
3. Recognizing and Addressing Bullying Behavior
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to identifying and addressing bullying within leadership roles. Leila discusses how leaders who engage in bullying behaviors can negatively impact their departments and the broader organization.
“I think I've had a lot of conversations with people who have said, no, I am not punishing. Well, you are, because you do it.”
— Leila Hormozi [12:30]
She underscores the importance of recognizing such behaviors and taking decisive action, rather than accepting apologies that do not lead to tangible changes.
4. The Ineffectiveness of Apologies Without Action
Leila further elaborates on the ineffectiveness of apologies that lack subsequent behavioral changes. She posits that without an actionable plan to prevent future mistakes, apologies fail to restore trust or improve relationships.
“If you behave like a mean person, people perceive you as a mean person. No thought or feeling that you claim to have had... is going to change their mind.”
— Leila Hormozi [18:20]
This perspective emphasizes the necessity of moving beyond words to demonstrate learning and growth through concrete actions.
5. Balancing Forgiveness and Accountability
The discussion transitions into the delicate balance between forgiving mistakes and maintaining accountability. Leila advocates for forgiveness that is coupled with a clear plan for improvement, ensuring that past missteps do not recur.
“What are you going to do differently due to this mistake or mishap? Like, what behavior will you change?”
— Leila Hormozi [25:10]
She encourages listeners to seek understanding and actionable commitments rather than simply excusing past behaviors based on intentions or unproven feelings.
6. Emotional Management in Professional Settings
Leila shares her personal strategies for managing emotions in stressful situations, highlighting the importance of lowering emotional reactivity to maintain professionalism and prevent escalation.
“Lowering my emotional reactivity when I'm upset... has had the highest return on effort that I've had with anything for all of my relationships, both work and personal.”
— Leila Hormozi [35:45]
This approach not only fosters a more stable work environment but also enhances decision-making and interpersonal interactions.
7. Moving Forward: Commitment to Change Over Apology
Concluding her insights, Leila advocates for a forward-focused mindset where the emphasis is on commitment to change rather than dwelling on past mistakes. She suggests that redefining how we address errors can lead to more productive and resilient relationships.
“I think committing to an action plan and putting in the work to change your behavior demonstrates an apology.”
— Leila Hormozi [43:00]
By prioritizing future actions over past apologies, individuals and leaders can cultivate a culture of continuous improvement and accountability.
Key Takeaways:
- Actions Over Words: Genuine apologies require actionable steps to demonstrate remorse and commitment to change.
- Accountability in Leadership: Leaders must hold themselves and their teams accountable, ensuring that apologies lead to meaningful behavior modifications.
- Recognizing Toxic Behaviors: Identifying and addressing bullying and other negative behaviors is crucial for maintaining a healthy organizational culture.
- Balanced Forgiveness: Forgiveness should be accompanied by a clear plan for preventing future mistakes, ensuring accountability remains intact.
- Emotional Regulation: Managing emotional reactivity enhances professional relationships and decision-making.
- Focus on the Future: Emphasizing future actions rather than past mistakes fosters resilience and continuous improvement.
Leila Hormozi’s Episode 293 serves as a compelling reminder that in both personal and professional realms, true growth and relationship building stem from consistent, meaningful actions rather than empty apologies. By adopting this mindset, individuals and businesses can cultivate environments that are both accountable and unshakable.