Build with Leila Hormozi: Episode 238 – Watch Out For "Nice" Leaders

Host: Leila Hormozi
Release Date: February 7, 2025
Podcast Description:
In "Build with Leila Hormozi," Leila shares her journey of scaling businesses to over $100M by age 28 and expanding acquisition.com into a billion-dollar portfolio. This podcast delves into the lessons learned from growing large enterprises and supporting portfolio companies to achieve similar success. Tune in every Monday and Wednesday as Leila reveals the strategies to create an unshakeable business. Buckle up, Let's BUILD.

Summary

In Episode 238, titled "Watch Out For 'Nice' Leaders," Leila Hormozi delves deep into the dynamics of leadership, contrasting the detrimental effects of "nice" leadership with the empowering attributes of "kind" leadership. Drawing from personal experiences and professional insights, Leila emphasizes the importance of making tough decisions for long-term success, even when they are unpopular or challenging.

1. The Hidden Dangers of "Nice" Leadership

Leila begins the episode by sharing a pivotal experience that reshaped her understanding of effective leadership.

• Destructive Nature of Niceness:
  "Being nice can actually be really cruel." [00:00]
  Leila recounts an incident from six years prior where a seemingly competent department leader requested to resign, citing ethical concerns over her team's underutilization. Upon investigation, she discovered overhiring and a lack of meaningful work, revealing that the leader's "niceness" led to fabricating work and avoiding necessary confrontations.

• Avoidance of Confrontation:
  The leader's reluctance to address the overstaffing issue resulted in superficial solutions that neither benefited the business nor the team. This avoidance led to Leila having to step in, reorganize the department, and make the difficult decision to let team members go—decisions that were initially met with backlash but ultimately reinforced the necessity of tough leadership.

2. The Three Costs of Being Nice

Leila outlines three significant drawbacks of adopting a "nice" leadership style:

a. Avoiding Conflict Stifles Growth

• Lack of Honest Feedback:
  "Nice leaders always shy away from the tough conversations." [05:20]
  By avoiding difficult discussions, leaders prevent team members from receiving the constructive criticism essential for personal and professional development.

• Prolonged Dysfunction:
  Instead of fostering growth, this avoidance leads to stagnation and a lack of improvement within the team, undermining the organization's overall effectiveness.

b. Short-Term Comfort Over Long-Term Success

• Instant Harmony:
  "Nice leaders focus on instant harmony." [12:45]
  Leaders who prioritize immediate peace often make decisions that feel good in the moment but are detrimental to the organization's future.

• Undermined Decision-Making:
  Such leaders may say yes to every request or evade tough calls, which can compromise the company's mission and long-term objectives.

c. Loss of Respect and Trust

• Perception of Inauthenticity:
  "Who trusts a leader who only tells them what they want to hear?" [18:30]
  Leaders who prioritize being liked over being honest are often viewed as inauthentic, eroding trust and respect within the team.

• Superficial Relationships:
  Niceness aimed at people-pleasing can lead to superficial interactions, lacking the genuine respect and authenticity necessary for strong team dynamics.

3. Embracing Kindness: The Path to Effective Leadership

Contrasting niceness, Leila advocates for "kind" leadership, highlighting four reasons why kindness leads to better outcomes:

a. Kindness Requires Honesty

• Value of Transparency:
  "Kind leaders give feedback that people need to hear, even when it's uncomfortable." [25:10]
  Honesty builds long-term trust, ensuring team members can rely on their leader regardless of the nature of the feedback.

• Normalization of Truthfulness:
  Consistent honesty fosters a culture where open communication is the norm, enhancing overall team integrity.

b. Setting Boundaries for Success

• Clear Expectations:
  "Leadership is not about making promises to please. It's about setting expectations to succeed." [32:50]
  Kind leaders establish clear boundaries and hold team members accountable, protecting the organization's mission and facilitating growth.

• Protective Tools:
  Boundaries are portrayed not as obstacles but as essential tools that safeguard the team's development and the company's objectives.

c. Leading with Empathy

• Understanding Without Compromising:
  "Use empathy as a tool to guide how you communicate, but not an excuse to avoid tough decisions." [40:15]
  Empathy allows leaders to connect with their team members' perspectives, fostering effective communication without hindering necessary judgments.

• Balance Between Empathy and Judgment:
  Leaders must balance understanding team members with upholding the company's values, ensuring decisions benefit the organization without compromising its standards.

d. Prioritizing Long-Term Growth

• Investment in the Future:
  "Kindness prioritizes the long term." [48:40]
  Making difficult decisions today, even if uncomfortable, paves the way for sustained success and growth.

• Patience as a Growth Strategy:
  Embracing uncomfortable decisions fosters a culture of excellence, where consistent effort leads to long-term achievements rather than short-term appeasement.

4. Conclusion: Choosing Kindness Over Niceness

Leila wraps up the episode by reinforcing the critical distinction between being "nice" and being "kind" as a leader.

• Long-Term vs. Short-Term:
  Niceness may offer immediate comfort but results in long-term dysfunction, whereas kindness, though challenging, builds trust, drives culture, and promotes growth.

• Leadership Responsibility:
  "As a leader, your job isn't to be liked. It's to make decisions that will move your team and your company forward." [55:30]
  Effective leadership is characterized by making tough choices that align with the organization's mission and values, even when they are difficult or unpopular.

• Empowering the Team:
  The best leaders push their teams to exceed their limits, fostering environments where individuals can grow into their desired selves through honest feedback and supportive boundaries.

Key Takeaways

1. Avoiding Conflict Hinders Growth:
   Leaders must engage in difficult conversations to facilitate team and personal development.

2. Long-Term Success Demands Tough Decisions:
   Prioritizing immediate comfort over future prosperity can undermine organizational goals.

3. Honesty Builds Trust:
   Transparent and truthful leadership fosters genuine respect and a robust team culture.

4. Empathy and Boundaries Are Essential:
   Balancing understanding with firm expectations ensures the team remains aligned with the company's mission.

5. Patience as a Growth Strategy:
   Consistently making challenging decisions contributes to sustained success and excellence within the organization.

Notable Quotes

• "Being nice can actually be really cruel." — Leila Hormozi [00:00]
• "Nice leaders always shy away from the tough conversations." — Leila Hormozi [05:20]
• "Who trusts a leader who only tells them what they want to hear?" — Leila Hormozi [18:30]
• "Kind leaders give feedback that people need to hear, even when it's uncomfortable." — Leila Hormozi [25:10]
• "Leadership is not about making promises to please. It's about setting expectations to succeed." — Leila Hormozi [32:50]
• "Use empathy as a tool to guide how you communicate, but not an excuse to avoid tough decisions." — Leila Hormozi [40:15]
• "Kindness prioritizes the long term." — Leila Hormozi [48:40]
• "As a leader, your job isn't to be liked. It's to make decisions that will move your team and your company forward." — Leila Hormozi [55:30]

Final Thoughts

Episode 238 serves as a compelling guide for current and aspiring leaders to reassess their leadership styles. By distinguishing between being "nice" and "kind," Leila Hormozi provides actionable insights that pave the way for building resilient, high-performing teams and businesses. Embracing kindness over niceness not only fosters a culture of excellence but also ensures sustained growth and success in the ever-evolving business landscape.