Episode Overview
Podcast: Build with Leila Hormozi
Title: You Become Powerful When You Realize Nobody Cares | Ep 315
Release Date: September 4, 2025
Host: Leila Hormozi
Main Theme:
Leila Hormozi dives deep into the liberating mindset that comes from realizing most people’s opinions—praise or criticism—do not define your worth or direction. She shares five key mindset shifts that allowed her to emotionally detach from external validation and anchor her identity in self-chosen values, enabling her to build a resilient business and personal life.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Ignore Applause as Your North Star
- External Praise ≠ Right Path: Applause and praise from others are reflections of their preferences, not confirmation you’re doing what’s right for you.
- Real-Life Example: Leila describes creating content on branding at her team’s request, feeling inauthentic, and deciding not to pursue it further despite positive feedback.
- Social Media Trap: With the blurring of real-life and social platforms, seeking likes/applause becomes addictive and can dilute your authenticity.
Memorable Quote:
“Applause is not a North Star. Praise or applause, they are reflections of other people's preferences, not your purpose.”
— Leila Hormozi [01:04]
[00:00-07:10]
2. Reframe Criticism—It’s About Them, Not You
- Criticism as Discomfort: Most criticism arises from someone else’s inability to manage their own discomfort. It reveals more about them than about you.
- Case in Point: Leila recalls being criticized online for her business style, realizing the critic was projecting discomfort with her approach to success.
- Universal Judgment: We all judge others, but recognizing that helps process criticism objectively rather than personally.
Notable Reflection:
“Judgment is another word for unmanaged discomfort.”
— Leila Hormozi [13:50]
[07:11-17:20]
3. You’ll Always Be Judged—Choose Yourself Anyway
- Constant Judgment: Whether seeking praise or avoiding criticism, you can’t escape being judged or misunderstood.
- Personal Story: Leila shares her early struggles with relentless online criticism and the realization that approval-seeking is futile.
- Empowerment Through Acceptance: Accepting judgment and criticism as the “price of success” brings freedom and happiness.
Key Insight:
“The price of fame, the price of enjoyment, the price of success is being criticized. It is just the downside of the upside.”
— Leila Hormozi [20:30]
[17:21-23:45]
4. Choose and Own Your Values
- Intentional Value Setting: True clarity comes from deciding what you stand for, not inheriting values from family, culture, or external influences.
- Dealing with Dissenters: When faced with a known online hater, Leila chooses not to respond or try to convince, but recognizes different values at play.
- Filtering Criticism: Criticism that clashes with your core values (e.g. honesty) should be evaluated; criticism over things you don’t value can be ignored.
Memorable Moment:
“Values aren't put upon you. They're chosen by you.”
— Leila Hormozi [25:15]
[23:46-29:21]
5. Use Your Values as a Filter for Feedback
- Filtering All Input: Both praise and criticism should be filtered by “Is this aligned with my values?” rather than “Do people like this?”
- Practical Example: After a comedy skit video goes viral, Leila filters feedback through her value of honesty and alignment with her real self.
- Values Are Decisions, Not Feelings: Values must be decided, not just inherited or felt.
Memorable Quote:
“Values are not feelings. Values are decisions. You don’t find them under a rock, and you don’t feel them. You pick them intentionally.”
— Leila Hormozi [31:00]
[29:22-37:55]
Notable Quotes & Moments
-
On Detachment:
“Applause is not objective confirmation that you’re on the right track in life.”
[04:17] -
On Criticism:
“Criticism is often when something about you...makes somebody else uncomfortable. They outsource their discomfort; they blame you, they label you, they diminish you, they demean you, they judge you.”
[12:55] -
On Values as the Ultimate Anchor:
“If you don’t anchor your identity somewhere solid, somewhere that cannot be defeated by what people say about you—whether it’s good or bad—you will just drift into becoming a reflection of the preferences and desires of other people.”
[36:45]
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 00:00-07:10 — The dangers of seeking applause, personal anecdote about branding content
- 07:11-17:20 — Understanding and reframing criticism, “Judgment is unmanaged discomfort”
- 17:21-23:45 — Inevitability of being judged; the futility of people-pleasing
- 23:46-29:21 — Choosing and staying true to your values, dealing with haters
- 29:22-37:55 — Using values as a filter for decisions, the difference between values and feelings
Takeaways
- Detach from external applause or criticism—neither should dictate your actions or identity.
- Criticism is often about others' discomfort, not your shortcomings.
- Consciously choose and define your own values; don’t inherit them unwittingly.
- Use your values as a filter for all feedback.
- True freedom comes from living in alignment with self-chosen values, not public approval.
