Podcast Title: Build with Leila Hormozi
Host: Leila Hormozi
Episode: Your Comfort Is Killing Your Dreams | Ep 211
Release Date: November 27, 2024

Introduction

In Episode 211 of "Build with Leila Hormozi," titled "Your Comfort Is Killing Your Dreams," Leila delves deep into the barriers that prevent individuals from achieving their dreams. Drawing from her personal transformation—from being 100 pounds overweight and feeling stuck to building a billion-dollar portfolio with acquisition.com—Leila identifies three common problems that hinder progress and offers actionable solutions to overcome them. This summary encapsulates the essence of her discussion, enriched with notable quotes and timestamps for reference.

1. The Fear of Judgment and Being Disliked

Key Discussion Points:

Leila begins by addressing the crippling fear of being judged or disliked, which often paralyzes individuals from taking necessary actions toward their goals. She emphasizes that prioritizing being liked over achieving one's objectives leads to stagnation.

Notable Insights:

• Fear of Judgment Limits Growth: Leila explains that the desire to fit in and avoid misunderstanding prevents people from standing out and pursuing their ambitions.

  "If you're unwilling to be misunderstood, you're also, by consequence, unwilling to grow." [05:30]

• Surround Yourself with Inspirational People: She highlights the importance of associating with individuals who inspire and challenge you, rather than those who perpetuate mediocrity.

  "You should surround yourself with people that inspire you, because you will assimilate and take pieces from all the people that are around you." [15:45]

• Embracing Misunderstanding: Citing Elon Musk as an exemplar, Leila illustrates how great entrepreneurs thrive despite being misunderstood and disliked, focusing instead on their larger goals.

  "Elon Musk is a fantastic representation of what it looks like to take action despite people judging you and not liking you." [29:10]

Solutions Presented:

• Chase Judgment and Misunderstanding: Instead of avoiding judgment, actively accept it as a byproduct of pursuing significant goals.

  "Chase judgment and misunderstanding rather than trying to run away from them." [35:20]

• Self-Support Over External Approval: Leila encourages prioritizing self-approval and aligning actions with personal goals over seeking validation from others.

  "Focus on how do I support myself and do I like who I am? Do I think that my actions align with my goals?" [42:15]

• Adopt Empowering Internal Dialogues: She recommends framing negative judgments as challenges to overcome rather than threats.

  "Let me be misunderstood right now." [50:05]

Quote Highlights:

• "You will be disliked and you will be misunderstood... trust the process and ignore advice from people who don't have lives that you desire." [22:40]

• "If you can't tolerate critics, don't do anything new or interesting." – Jeff Bezos [55:30]

2. Wanting the Goal More Than the Work

Key Discussion Points:

Leila tackles the second barrier: the disconnect between desiring a goal and being willing to do the hard work required to achieve it. She observes that many people profess lofty ambitions but lack the commitment to undertake the necessary sacrifices.

Notable Insights:

• Actions vs. Words: Leila underscores that true desire is reflected in actions, not just verbal affirmations.

  "You are not what you want. You are what you do." [01:05:10]

• Commitment Through Sacrifice: She explains that achieving significant goals often requires sacrificing comfort, leisure, and other personal desires.

  "Instead of picking your goals by what you want to gain, pick your goals by what you're willing to give up." [01:15:25]

• Real-World Examples: Sharing anecdotes from her portfolio companies, Leila illustrates how lack of commitment manifests in actions that undermine stated goals.

  "If you really wanted it that bad, you would do what it took." [01:22:40]

Solutions Presented:

• Reward the Process Over the Outcome: Leila advises focusing on and rewarding the journey rather than fixating solely on the end result.

  "If you learn to follow and reward yourself for a process rather than the outcome, you will learn to love the process." [01:30:10]

• Define What You’re Willing to Sacrifice: She encourages individuals to clearly identify and accept the sacrifices necessary to achieve their goals.

  "Think about the goal you have in mind and write down what you have to give up to reach that goal." [01:35:50]

• Commitment Is Cutting Off Alternatives: Highlighting that true commitment involves eliminating other options to fully dedicate oneself to the chosen path.

  "Commitment is cutting off alternatives... Your actions and what you're willing to cut off are proof of your commitment." [01:45:00]

Quote Highlights:

• "Comfort kills most of our dreams because most of our dreams have an inconvenience to get them." [01:12:15]

• "Actions speak louder than words. Show me, don't tell me, demonstrate what you want." [01:25:30]

3. Lack of Confidence as an Excuse for Inaction

Key Discussion Points:

The final barrier discussed by Leila is the notion that one must feel confident before taking action. She dismantles this myth by arguing that confidence is a byproduct of action, not a prerequisite.

Notable Insights:

• Confidence Through Action: Leila posits that taking action, especially imperfect action, builds the experience and competence that leads to genuine confidence.

  "Action creates experience. Experience builds competence, and then competence leads to confidence." [01:55:20]

• Overcoming the Need for Readiness: She challenges the common excuse of not feeling ready, explaining that waiting for perfect conditions hinders progress.

  "You are not going to know until you try. Taking action even when you don't believe in yourself is what leads to growth and confidence." [02:05:45]

• Imperfect Action as a Catalyst: Emphasizing the importance of starting with imperfect steps, Leila shares how embracing imperfection accelerates learning and achievement.

  "What imperfect action do I need to take?" [02:15:30]

Solutions Presented:

• Take Uncertain Action: Leila encourages moving forward despite uncertainty, trusting that action will generate the necessary confidence.

  "Learn to take uncertain action. You have enough information; you just need to take action." [02:25:10]

• Embrace Productive Failure: Viewing failures as opportunities for growth, she advises learners to persist through setbacks to build resilience.

  "The irony of success is that in order to have more success, you have to have more failure." [02:35:00]

• Develop Discipline for Confidence: Building consistent habits of taking action helps cultivate public confidence through private discipline.

  "Confidence in public comes from discipline in private." [02:45:20]

Quote Highlights:

• "Nobody ever feels ready to do anything worth doing because there's the unknown." [02:00:15]

• "Competence breeds confidence. Start small, take imperfect action, and eventually you will gain confidence." [02:50:40]

Conclusion

In this compelling episode, Leila Hormozi masterfully dissects the internal and external obstacles that prevent individuals from realizing their dreams. By confronting the fear of judgment, aligning actions with true desires, and embracing imperfect action to build confidence, she offers a roadmap to personal and professional growth. Leila's insights are not just theoretical; they are backed by her transformative journey and real-world examples from her successful ventures. Her closing remark encapsulates the essence of the episode:

"If you want to succeed, stop waiting and hoping for the approval from others. Success is about taking action without everyone's approval, showing up with consistent effort and building competence until finally the confidence follows." [03:00:00]

Listeners are left empowered to break free from comfort zones, commit wholeheartedly to their goals, and take decisive action, regardless of uncertainty or external approval.

Key Takeaways:

1. Embrace Discomfort: Comfort often acts as a silent dream killer. Embracing discomfort is essential for growth and achieving meaningful goals.

2. Prioritize Actions Over Words: True commitment is demonstrated through actions, not mere declarations of intent.

3. Build Confidence Through Action: Confidence is a result of taking consistent, imperfect actions that build experience and competence.

By implementing these principles, individuals can overcome stagnation, maintain unwavering focus on their ambitions, and ultimately build the unshakeable businesses and lives they envision.