Bulwark Takes – "Should We Just Keep Trump Busy With Fake Prizes?"

Date: December 6, 2025
Hosts: Ben Parker, Katherine Rampel

Overview

This episode of Bulwark Takes centers on the absurdity and broader significance of Donald Trump receiving the first FIFA Peace Prize. Hosts Ben Parker and Katherine Rampel dissect the ceremony itself, the motives of FIFA and other organizations giving Trump such accolades, and the implications for U.S. politics, global corruption, and Trump’s own political strategy. The conversation veers between biting satire and sharp political critique, questioning whether keeping Trump preoccupied with meaningless awards is good for the country, and what it says about our institutions.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The FIFA Peace Prize Farce

• Setup: The hosts open by mocking the newly invented FIFA Peace Prize, which was awarded to Donald Trump at the Kennedy Center—a clear satire on both FIFA’s reputation and Trump’s hunger for recognition.
• Rampel’s sarcasm: "Not relevant at all that the FIFA president had previously said that Donald Trump totally deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. And this is of course not a consolation prize in lieu of the Nobel Peace Prize. Totally separate, very prestigious and completely unexpected. Clearly." (01:33)
• Parker’s take: Highlights the absurdity: "When you think of some of the previous winners of the FIFA Peace Prize, there are none." (02:03)

2. The Award Ceremony: Symbolism and Irony

• Discussion on the symbolism of the trophy itself: hands reaching for a ball, which is illegal in soccer, representing breaking the rules.
• Parker: "The prize they're giving him is a literal physical representation of breaking the most basic rules." (04:26)
• Rampel: "Just like the Peace Prize itself is given to someone who is really good at breaking the peace. Totally fitting analogy." (04:39)

3. Corruption and Quid Pro Quo

• FIFA’s Motivation: The conversation pivots to the transactional benefits FIFA stands to gain, including rent-free use of the Kennedy Center and potential political favors tied to the upcoming World Cup held in the U.S.
• Rampel: "That ceremony hosted today was at the Kennedy Center... commandeering the Kennedy Center for three weeks completely for free... they've ejected all of the previously scheduled holiday programming... I'm sure that they're going to get some other goodies along the way." (05:24)
• Potential for Trump to leverage these events for his political agenda: "Presumably Donald Trump is going to co-opt these games for his own political agenda as well on immigration, among other objectives. So, yeah, I think this is a match made in heaven." (06:44)
• Parker’s retort: "I think it's a match made somewhere else." (06:44)

4. Trump’s Track Record on “Peace”

• Rampel points out, with biting irony, that Trump was also awarded the Nixon Foundation Peace Prize earlier in 2025.
• The hosts play a clip of Trump justifying the award despite aggressive actions like war threats and foreign aid cuts, with Trump’s characteristic braggadocio:
  • Trump: "I did settle eight wars and we have a ninth coming, but which nobody's ever done before. But I want to really save lives. I don't need prizes. I need to save lives..." (07:40)
• Rampel: Notes that U.S. foreign aid cuts under Trump have led to negative global impacts, like increases in child deaths worldwide. (08:25)

5. “Stopping Wars Before They Start”

• The hosts mock Trump’s logic about ending wars preemptively:
  • Parker: "'He also claimed... there were some wars that he started, quote, a little bit before they started.' I don't know how you're supposed to measure that." (09:04)
  • Rampel: "Counterfactuals are hard in economics or anything else... So of course he's going to say he stopped wars before they started, because, like, it's all pretend." (09:40)

6. Trump’s Tone-Deafness and Performative Tastes

• Trump’s acceptance speech focuses on what the sport should be called (“football” vs. “soccer”), derailing into comedic territory:
  • Trump: "But when you think about it, it's a great point. Shouldn't it really be called... I mean, this is football. There's no question about. We have to come up with another name for the... Yeah, it really doesn't make sense when you think about it. It's really football." (12:34)
• Ben Parker jokes about Trump preparing material for his (never-won) Nobel Prize speech, wishing award givers would keep him busy with such frivolities.

7. Satirical Proposal: Keep Trump Distracted with Fake Awards

• Parker: "This is a very good thing. I am glad this happened. I want this to happen more every day... All the made up prizes I want them to give him because it took a bunch of time... he wasn't focused on trying to break democracy." (13:49)
• Rampel: Sees merits in keeping Trump busy, but worries about the institutional cost: "Any minute that he is spending doing nonsense like this… is a minute he is not spending doing something much worse... But a lot of these prizes… are not necessarily a good use of the time of the gift giver." (15:05)
• She elaborates on broader economic and societal downsides, likening the practice to corruption in countries with weak rule of law:
  • "This is part of the reason why in parts of the world where there is less rule of law and more corruption, they have worse economic growth... businesses are trying to navigate corruption... rather than doing the thing... that is more efficient." (17:12)

8. International Corruption and American Decline

• Example of Switzerland bribing Trump with gold bars and a Rolex to reduce tariffs, which has now sparked a corruption investigation in Switzerland, inverting historic roles of anti-corruption enforcement:
  • Rampel: "Now other countries are effectively having to enforce against us... because now we are the corrupt government that is effectively soliciting bribes..." (18:48)

9. Trump, Affordability, and Perception

• Conversation closes on Trump's "Great Gatsby" style excess amidst economic hardship for many Americans, and how it might clash with his rhetorical stance on affordability and inflation.
  • "Turning the White House into the Cheesecake Factory with all of the gold everywhere. Yeah. And yet somehow it doesn't seem to affect him that much." (20:39)
  • Rampel points to Trump’s split persona as both ostentatious elite and 'common man,' and questions why such contradictions don’t cost him more politically.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ben Parker, on the FIFA award:
  “The prize they're giving him is a literal physical representation of breaking the most basic rules.” (04:26)

• Katherine Rampel, on Trump’s Peace Prize record:
  "Just like the Peace Prize itself is given to someone who is really good at breaking the peace. Totally fitting analogy." (04:39)

• Donald Trump, on bringing peace:
  "I did settle eight wars and we have a ninth coming, but which nobody's ever done before. But I want to really save lives. I don't need prizes. I need to save lives." (07:40)

• Katherine Rampel, on international bribery:
  "Now we are the corrupt government that is effectively soliciting bribes of various kinds or something tantamount to bribes." (18:48)

• Ben Parker, on keeping Trump busy:
  "All the made up prizes I want them to give him because it took a bunch of time... he wasn't focused on trying to break democracy." (13:49)

• Katherine Rampel, on the cost to institutions:
  "The more time that they spend on this kind of bullshit, the less time that they spend actually trying to make money and do things that are profitable..." (15:47)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:00 – Opening mockery of the FIFA Peace Prize
• 04:03 – Discussion of the trophy's symbolism
• 05:24 – Deep dive on corruption and FIFA’s motives
• 07:40 – Trump’s claim about stopping wars
• 08:25 – Effects of U.S. cuts to foreign aid
• 13:49 – Parker's satirical call for more fake awards
• 15:05–17:50 – Rampel critiques the institutional consequences, links to global corruption
• 18:48 – Example of Swiss bribery and international backlash
• 20:39 – Rampel reflects on Trump’s tone-deaf performances amidst affordability crises

Tone and Style

The episode is sharply satirical, with pointed political critique and an undercurrent of frustration over the normalization of corruption and spectacle in politics. Both hosts use humor and ridicule, especially when quoting Trump, but always tie these moments to deeper concerns about governance and democracy.

Summary Takeaway

Bulwark Takes uses this absurd awards episode to make trenchant points about American democracy, institutional decay, and the complicity of both domestic and international organizations in propping up Trump’s self-image. While keeping Trump distracted with fake prizes might be tempting, the underlying corruption and waste reveal deeper, systemic problems threatening U.S. governance and global reputation.