Trump’s Library Looks Like a Wedding Venue in Hell

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Bulwark Takes

Episode: "Trump’s Library Looks Like a Wedding Venue in Hell"

Date: April 1, 2026
Host: The Bulwark team (Sam Stein, JVL, Andrew Egger)

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Episode Overview

This episode delivers a sharp, satirical takedown of the unveiled renderings of the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library, recently presented by Eric Trump. The Bulwark team—Sam Stein, JVL, and Andrew Egger—bring their wit and political savvy to a breakdown of the library’s architectural choices, logistical oddities, and underlying political grift. Blending architectural critique with political commentary, they examine the building’s bombastic design, dubious purpose as a rental event space, and the questionable ethics surrounding its acquisition and potential use.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Unveiling the "Library"—or Hotel?

• Trump's Own Words (01:05–01:38): Donald Trump himself clarifies that the facility is “most likely going to be a hotel” rather than a traditional presidential library. There’s also talk of office space and “a beautiful building underneath.”
  • Quote: “No, it's going to be most likely a hotel...with a beautiful building underneath and a 747 Air Force One in the lobby is going to be a trick.” – Donald Trump (01:38)
• Panel’s Reaction: The team is quick to call out how the project is less about legacy and more about commercial use and brand monument-building.

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2. Architectural Analysis: "Wedding Venue in Hell"

• Aesthetics vs. Functionality
  • JVL: Calls it the “Trump Presidential Casino and event space. I’m Ron Burgundy...” (04:14), noting the emphasis on ballrooms and outdoor spaces for events over actual library elements.
  • Events Space: The renderings suggest a facility designed for TED-style talks, weddings, banquets, all wrapped in Trump’s gaudy aesthetic—complete with massive golden statues and ballrooms.

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3. The 50-Foot Gold Trump Statue

• Highlight & Critique: The amphitheater features a giant gold Trump statue, described by Sam as something so outsized it “would make Kim Jong Un blush” (05:04).
  • JVL: Raises logistical and practical concerns; questions how the venue would actually manage large crowds in a high-rise (05:18–06:54).
  • Quote: “It's a place to rent out. That's the whole point...called the Trump Presidential Venue.” – JVL (05:18)
• Satirical Praise: Andrew Egger mockingly admires the “restrained classical realism” of Trump’s style before highlighting its confusion and impracticality (06:57).

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4. Logistical Absurdities

• Giant Staircases to Nowhere:
  • Sam: Notes the ornamental but functionless architecture—stairways that lead nowhere, giant unnecessarily large ballrooms, and confusion over entrance points (05:53–06:39).
• Event Management Issues:
  • JVL: Wonders how the building would handle up to 1,000 guests given its skyscraper format (06:39).

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5. Ballroom Obsession

• Micromanagement:
  • Andrew: Highlights Trump’s fixation on the size and scale of event spaces, referencing how he fired the first architect for not being grandiose enough (07:55–09:01).
  • Satirical Observation: Suggests the ballroom is as much for gawking as for actual events, likening it to a “fancy dinner through one way on Instagram” (10:09–10:41).
• Quote: “The big takeaway from the Times piece was that it’s absurdly large...these audacious, huge, showy pieces don’t really serve a practical purpose.” – Sam Stein (09:21)

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6. Replicas and “AI Slop”

• Rose Garden & Oval Office Replicas:
  • Sam & Andrew: Mock the apparent use of AI-generated imagery in renderings, with Andrew noting AI mishaps like “blonde lady has four fingers” (12:10–12:27).
  • JVL: Mocks the likely futility of recreating such iconic places in a high-rise, referencing their uncanny and impractical features.

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7. Air Force One in the Lobby?

• Feasibility Questioned:
  • JVL: Dismisses the idea that a real $300 million Air Force One would be displayed in a lobby, speculating instead it might be a decommissioned plane or mere fantasy (13:36–13:53).
  • Andrew: Points out inconsistency in the model—why use the old color scheme when Trump prefers a different one? (14:18)

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8. Ethical and Political Critique: The Miami Land Deal

• How Trump Got the Land (15:09–16:45):
  • JVL: Details the “corrupt” transfer: Miami Dade College transferred the land to the state, the state to the Trump Library Foundation, bypassing public sale and valuation.
  • Quote: “The entire thing is, is just as corrupt as the day is long...it just went fo free yoink to the Trump family. And they're going to monetize the shit out of this.” – JVL (16:38)
  • Suggests the supposed non-profit library will be monetized for family profit.
• Sam & Andrew: Point out what else could have been done for public benefit (housing, commercial use) and draw connections to Ron DeSantis’ political support for Trump, including naming an airport after him.

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9. Design Copycat and Scale

• Freedom Tower Comparison:
  • JVL: Notes the Trump library is a “carbon copy of the Freedom Tower in New York, but only littler” (18:03), with looming prospects of Trump demanding even more grandiosity.
  • Andrew: Jokes that Miami’s skyline “has suffered enough” (19:21).

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10. Climate Change Zinger & Final Humor

• JVL’s Confession:
  • “I’ve never rooted so hard for climate change, for Miami to become just flooded...seeing this place underwater would be chef's kiss.” (19:28–19:40)
• Sam: Closes with a wry note about hosting a bar mitzvah in the Trump Library (19:56).

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Notable Quotes

• Donald Trump: “No, it's going to be most likely a hotel...with a beautiful building underneath and a 747 Air Force One in the lobby is going to be a trick.” (01:38)
• Sam Stein: “That is a giant gold Trump statue. I mean, giant. That would make Kim Jong Un blush, I feel like.” (05:04)
• JVL: “It's just as corrupt as the day is long...it just went fo free yoink to the Trump family. And they're going to monetize the shit out of this.” (16:38)
• Andrew Egger: “You get to have your glitterati of MAGA...and then the normal MAGA people outside...watching a fancy dinner through one way on Instagram. Very strange.” (10:41)

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• 01:05 – Trump outlines the “library” as likely a hotel, featuring a 747 in the lobby.
• 04:14 – JVL’s initial take: more event space than library.
• 05:04 – Amphitheater’s massive gold Trump statue mockery.
• 09:21 – Sam critiques the impracticality of the ballroom scale.
• 12:10 – Realization the Rose Garden rendering is “AI slop.”
• 13:36 – Debate over feasibility of Air Force One in the lobby.
• 15:09 – Miami real estate transfer breakdown and corruption angle.
• 18:03 – Design as miniature Freedom Tower.
• 19:28–19:40 – JVL’s “chef’s kiss” for climate change submerging the tower.

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Tone and Style

The episode crackles with irreverence, sarcasm, and the trademark Bulwark blend of insider knowledge and pointed mockery. The hosts freely mix architecture talk with political analysis, never missing a chance to draw out the underlying grift or to underscore Trump-world’s penchant for spectacle over substance.

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Conclusion

Even for those who haven’t seen the Trump Library renderings, the Bulwark panel’s lively dissection provides all you need to know: a grandiose, impractical, ethically questionable real estate venture as signature as its namesake—ripe for both ridicule and concern.

Transcript

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[Sam Stein]

Hey everyone, it's Sam Stein again. Look, you're about to watch a video about the Trump Presidential Library, which was debuted by Trump's son, Eric Trump a couple days ago. In between us recording the video, talking about this kind of ridiculous library and speculating on what it might actually be used for, President Donald Trump himself ended the speculation saying the following Trump Presidential

[JVL]

Library It's a huge skyscraper in Miami. Is that all a library? What else is going in?

[Donald Trump]

Well, it's a library, it's a museum, a library, it's a presidential. But I wouldn't start it till I'm out of office. I don't believe in building libraries or museums. It's really like the Barack Hussein Obama one in Chicago in not a good location and it's a very unattractive building that's seriously late and seriously over budget. I think you're going to see a great one here and it'll go up on time, on budget. Best location in Miami. Best. They say it's the best block in Miami and the state worked with us.

[Andrew Egger]

People live in the floors.

[Donald Trump]

No, it's going to be most likely a hotel. You know, this concept could be office, but it's most likely going to be a hotel with a beautiful building underneath and a 747 Air Force One in the lobby is going to be a trick.

[Sam Stein]

All right, so there you have it. It's not going to be a library. It's going to probably be a hotel, maybe an office space. Who knows, maybe casino. We'll see. You should still watch the video cuz we are going to dissect what this thing looks like from an architectural standpoint. We're going to talk about the Griff that went into it and just sort of how much it is an outrage that there's this big 50 foot tall golden Trump statue that's apparently planned for this place. So enjoy the video. Subscribe to the feed. We'll catch you later. Hey, everyone, it's me, Sam Sty, managing editor. Deborah. I'm joined by JVL and Andrew Egger, our in house architectural design experts. And it's important to have expertise on for this take because we're going to be looking at the unveiled renderings of the Donald Trump Presidential Library introduced to us by Eric Trump in a video last night. It's unfortunate that Tim is not on this one, because he seems to be the one who likes the Trump aesthetic the most of those on staff. I was not particularly a fan of this, this building, but we'll get to why in a little bit. Before we start this, we're going to play the video, and then we're going to talk about specific parts of the video. But strap in because you got about a minute and 20 or so seconds of footage coming your way about the future Donald J. Trump Presidential Library. Sam? All right, so a notable absence of books from this library in this rendering, but other than that, jvl, what are your thoughts?

[JVL]

I mean, it really is the Trump Presidential Casino and event space. I'm Ron Burgundy. I mean, what this sizzle reel highlights is, look at this lovely outdoor space we have. If you'd like to rent it for an outdoor wedding or if you are hosting other events, we have a lovely ballroom space in here. And here's where we'll put the plane and also a marine one and also a fighter jet.

[Sam Stein]

Yeah, there was a fighter jet there.

[JVL]

And then we have, you know, and. But if TED talks, if that's what your, your event planning needs require. Well, we have this lovely amphitheater with a giant gold fist raised.

[Sam Stein]

I mean, let's pull up the amphitheater because I think that one stood out to basically everyone on the Internet. That is a giant gold Trump statue. I mean, giant. That would make Kim Jong Un blush, I feel like.

[JVL]

And it's 50 stories, which, I mean, again, I don't mean to get into logistics, but typically you don't do high rises for places that you expect a lot of public in and out traffic, because that all has to be managed via elevators. And so this idea, like, well, it's going to be for tourists. And what. How. How are you going to accommodate tourists in it? So I think this is meant to be rented out. I think that's the whole point of this, is it's a place to rent out. And we get talk. We'll talk about the location of this venue, which is called the Trump Presidential Venue.

[Sam Stein]

Right. So in terms of logistics, I think that's an important point which they seem to get second consideration, if not third, when they're doing these designs. I mentioned that because there's this New York Times article over the weekend about the ballroom. I don't know if you guys saw this one. And they sort of broke down how silly the, the outlines of it were. There's a giant staircase in the front that leads literally to nowhere. Just a bunch of stairs up to, to some columns. And then you have to like walk around to get into the side entrance. And they just like these ornamental things that have no actual use. And so for them to put a amphitheater with a huge Trump statue ostensibly on some floor up there will cause problems. You're going to have to have some serious elevators, like working back and forth.

[JVL]

I mean, that look, that venue looks like it probably holds somewhere between 500 and 1,000 people. 500, 1,000 people at the same time for the same event, up and down through elevators. Like, I'm sorry, it's going to take, it's going to take a minute.

[Sam Stein]

And Andrew, what do you think of the statue? Are you fan?

[Andrew Egger]

Obviously, I'm a big fan. I'm a big fan of sort of like restrained classical realism of the architectural style that Donald Trump has always, has always really leaned into. And I, you know, it's tasteful, it's, it's mod. And I think that's, those are some of the good things about it. On the subject of the stairs, I thought maybe this was like, you know, going up to the ballroom, I thought maybe this was like one of the lessons that they took away from January 6th is sometimes it's nice to have sort of confusing features like that on the outside of important buildings. You just get the mobs going in the incorrect directions. But, but the one thing I would say, I guess there's two things about the, about the, the whole mock up, but the whole sizzle reel. There's like one thing it says about the future and one thing about the present. And the thing about the future. I totally agree with jbl. I think this is like a pretty good insight into the role that Donald Trump sees himself playing in sort of post presidency politics, if there is going to be one for him. And, and I think it's less like being any sort of like elder statesman of like policy or anything like that for the party. But I do think he really loves the current role that he, that he, that he has at Mar A Lago, where, you know, basically anybody who's anybody has to come to Him. It's like a center of political gravity. You have to physically go there, be at his club in order to, to sort of like curry favor. And it's a really high status thing in Trump world, if you, like, have your wedding there or things like, things like that. And I think this is, you know, just, just sort of the, the next iteration of that whole thing. You know, he's going to have to go back and live there full time. Maybe he doesn't want parties all the time, but at least he will have that sort of center of political gravity. And then as far as the present is concerned, I just, I just. The ballroom thing is so funny. I'm sorry. Like the, it's so funny that it occupies so much of his mental real estate right now. You know, there's all this other shit going on in the world, and yet, you know, the President's getting up on Air Force One. He's holding up his big, you know, like, poster board with, with the ballroom renderings, and he's, he got unhappy with his first architect, so he fired him. He's like, he's, he's obviously micromanaging, like, everything about this ballroom. And that's here too. I mean, like, pull up the ball.

[Sam Stein]

Let's pull up the ballroom picture.

[Andrew Egger]

Yeah. What are the big accomplishments of the, of the second Trump term, as sort of evidenced by what they're showing or deciding to showcase at the library, is this big fucking ballroom he built, which is going to be, I guess, behind like, glass. So, like, I don't know if it really functions as an event space or if it's just like a replica for people to sort of gawk at and say, what a great ballroom. Great job.

[Sam Stein]

So this is, I'm confused by this because this is, I mean, clearly this is also the picture of the White House bar as they're envisioning it. They is the suggestion that they're going to have a replica of the new, soon to be new White House ballroom in this tower. And if so, it looks like it's ground level there. Is it going to be ground level at the tower? But the big takeaway from the Times piece about the ballroom specifically was that it's absurdly large and that you're not going to have events where there's 2,000 people at every single event. If you have event with like 400 people, which is very reasonable, the ballroom is going to look absurd. It's going to look completely empty. And so, you know, these audacious, huge, showy pieces that they're doing don't really serve a practical purpose.

[JVL]

Can I.

[Andrew Egger]

Can I weigh in one more time just on this picture that we have up on the screen right now? Because I'm totally fascinated by it. It blows me away. Like, it looks like it's just a rendering of the White House ballroom. Right. And it is like, obviously this thing, as it exists in this picture, is not going to exist anywhere on any level of this. Of this giant high rise. But. But then there's the plate glass window, and there are the people who are outside of it who are also dressed in, like, their black tie attire, who are, like, looking through it. So, like, are these the. Are these the visitors? Are these the tourists to the museum

[JVL]

who are like the one way mirror? Actually, Andrew, it's like the Truman Show. Yeah.

[Andrew Egger]

You get to. You get to have the. The two for. You get to have, like, your glitterati of Maga, like, in your ballroom, having your fancy event, and then you get, like, the normal MAGA people outside, and they get to have the fun experience. Experience of watching a fancy dinner through one way on Instagram. Very strange.

[JVL]

Yeah, sure. Yeah, it's. Well, you know what? It would be wild if they do a replica of this ballroom in the Trump Tower library, because after we pull down that fucking real ballroom in Washington, the replica will be the only one of it left.

[Sam Stein]

Yeah, well, maybe that's why they have to build the second one. There's other replicas that popped up in the video. The one that kind of confused me the most was the Rose Garden, and we can pull that up. So something's wrong with this. As you can tell there. Is that a scene. Is that a. Is that a garden or is that, like a green screen? Because there's. Are they gonna have, like, a little space there? Is that the colonnade? I couldn't really quite tell because that's not how it looks normally in the White House. Usually it goes out to the actual AI slope. Oh, man.

[JVL]

Isn't that the answer here? It's just AI Slop.

[Sam Stein]

Also, just so everyone knows, Trump removed the actual garden part of the Rose Garden. So currently, as it exists, it's just pavement with these umbrella chairs from Dural or Mar A Lago that he brought with him. And so this doesn't make sense. I'm not sure what's going on there.

[Andrew Egger]

I had waved off the idea of it being AI Slop just because these are like the professional. Professional rendering supposedly from this firm that they have detailed. But actually, the more I look at this picture, the more JBL is Totally. Right. If you look at the faces along the wall in those portraits on the

[Sam Stein]

right side, did you actually think they were actors that they hired?

[Andrew Egger]

No, no. I just thought they were like normal architectural mockups. Right. Like of the sort that every project has done forever, but 100% blonde lady has four fingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, look, there are some real lookers who have been presidents in the past. Judging by these framed pictures going along the. Right here, I don. Think those words up top actually spell anything. So, yeah, I apologize that it was not immediately evident to me that these

[Sam Stein]

were AI let's pull up the Oval Office, the Oval Office image that they're putting in this one. I mean, it's not crazy to have a replica of the Oval in a. In a library.

[JVL]

It's a little weird.

[Sam Stein]

It's a little weird, but I'm assuming some other.

[Andrew Egger]

I think they do. Bill was saying earlier, I think some of the other libraries already have this sort of thing.

[Sam Stein]

And like, I think the Ted Kennedy Library has a replica of his office or something like that. That does look like Bill Barr to me in the far right. The it right there. Doesn't it look like Bill Bar Bill

[Andrew Egger]

Barr talking to Kerry lake and George H.W. bush?

[Sam Stein]

I don't know. So you. I guess so. I guess the attractions here, you can maybe see a replica of the Oval. You can maybe see a replica of the Rose Garden. You can definitely see the. The Air Force One. My assumption is that's the Qatari one.

[JVL]

I am sorry, but there is a 0.0% chance they would take a $300 million plane and stick it in a building. Because that is what we call a wasting asset. That thing is valuable. It can be used like that. That makes no. Zero sense at all.

[Sam Stein]

Don't they have it in the Reagan one, though? They have a plan in the right.

[JVL]

Maybe a decommissioned one. Yeah, but we are in the process of paying to retrofit this thing and take it apart bolt by bolt to take out all the listening bugs and stuff from Qatar that are baked into it. I am. I just. I refuse to believe that they would put a fully functional up to spec Air Force One and just lock it away under class.

[Andrew Egger]

The thing that confuses me about the Air Force One is maybe I'm wrong about this. It's a bit in a minute since I brushed up, but this sort of like classic, the baby blue color scheme of Air Force One. Isn't this the one that Trump is doing away with? I mean, like, he has. Yes, he has brought us back like, his model is like royal blue and red. The Trump force one thing. And I don't understand why this is the one that's being mocked up. I guess it's maybe just a more AI slop is the answer.

[JVL]

Lazy laziness from the design team.

[Andrew Egger]

Get on that, guys. Trump doesn't like this one. He's the only one who doesn't like this one.

[Sam Stein]

And I guess we can't end this without talking about just the sheer size of this building, because it's enormous. So let's pull up that last one against the Miami skyline just for some backstory. They took this property from a local college. I guess the college felt like it.

[JVL]

Oh, no, no, no. Damn into it, Sam. It's so much more corrupt than that.

[Sam Stein]

Give us the story.

[JVL]

So this was one of the last undeveloped parcels on Biscayne Boulevard, which is an incredibly very valuable piece of land. It was just a surface parking lot and it belonged to a local college. It was Miami, Miami Dade College. So the college transfers the property to the state of Florida. The state of Florida, then signed by Ron DeSantis, then transfers the property to the Trump Library Foundation. The, the estimated value of this, this property ranges from 76 million to the hundreds of millions of dollars. Nobody knows. Because if you had put this thing on the open market, God knows what it would have fetched. And what we have here is a vice chair of the board of Miami Dade College, Roberto Alonso said, I think this is a further expansion of an educational facility because presidential libraries are places where you can go and research. This is how they justified it themselves. So the entire thing is, is just as corrupt as the day is long. Again, it's three acres of like the most prime real estate you can possibly have in downtown Miami. And it just went fo free yoink to the Trump family. And they're going to monetize shit out of this.

[Sam Stein]

Could probably, I don't know, build housing for the city. You could probably build commercial real estate. You could do anything.

[JVL]

Commercial real estate, right? I mean, you could have. But here's the thing. This thing is going to turn into commercial real estate. It'll just be commercial real estate by any other name. It's this giant 50 story tower which is going to be used primarily for like, events and rentals. And the, the nonprofit foundation that is the Trump Presidential Library foundation will just collect money off of it. And who will be in control of the Trump Library Foundation? The Trump family. It's just, it's just more grift.

[Sam Stein]

It's amazing. It's amazing. I will say. This is. I was talking with Andrew about DeSantis earlier today because he's had some interesting tweets that suggest maybe discomfort, but this makes me a second guess.

[Andrew Egger]

Sam has been, like, grinding this ax. And Ron DeSantis, you know,

[Donald Trump]

he.

[Sam Stein]

I will say he also just.

[Andrew Egger]

Yeah, he's naming the. He's renaming the Palm beach airport President Donald J. Trump International Airport Support. And he's given him, you know, all this free real estate for the library. But he also had this tweet, you know, about this backhanded compliment about the. About AI stocks and. I don't know, man. So, yeah, look forward to that in the morning shots, I guess.

[JVL]

Can we talk briefly about the aesthetic of the tower itself and how it is a carbon copy of the Freedom Tower in New York, but only littler? And so somebody is going to put these two things next to each other in a proportional rendering, and you will see how much the two of them look the same. Except that the Trump Miami tower is half the size.

[Sam Stein]

Yeah, but relative to the rest of Miami, it's fucking nuts.

[JVL]

Relative to the rest of Miami, it's enormous.

[Andrew Egger]

I don't want JBL to put any ideas in Trump's head, because if you remember, I mean, they fight. He fired that first ballroom designer, as I was mentioning before, in part because Trump wanted to keep making the ballroom bigger and bigger and bigger. And at a certain point, the architect was like, look, man, we got to worry about matters of scale.

[Sam Stein]

Oh, here we go again.

[Andrew Egger]

This.

[JVL]

This isn't scale. This is. So what you're seeing is not scale. If we put these things at scale, the Trump Tower would be half the size. It would go up to a little bit further of.

[Sam Stein]

Yeah, it's identical.

[Andrew Egger]

We are. We are one bad, like, Oval Office presentation away.

[JVL]

All.

[Andrew Egger]

All they have to do. Somebody has to carry in that scale presentation to the President. And all of a sudden, this screenshot on the left here is going to

[JVL]

do it with popsicle sticks. Do a popsicle stick model of the two and be like, Mr. President, take a look at this.

[Andrew Egger]

This information must be kept from the President at all costs. You know, the skyline of Miami has suffered enough.

[JVL]

So I. This is confession. I'm not proud of this fact, but I have never rooted so hard for

[Sam Stein]

climate change, for the city, Miami, to become just flooded.

[JVL]

Because let me tell you, seeing this place underwater would be chef's kiss.

[Sam Stein]

What do you think the insurance policies are on this bad boy? It's gotta be high.

[JVL]

That's why you gotta hold all those weddings and bar mitzvahs there.

[Sam Stein]

Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna get a Trump Library bar mitzvah for my boy. Let's hope it's built in time. All right, jbl. Andrew, thanks so much. Appreciate it. For those who are actual architects and have some thoughts on what they've just witnessed, drop them in the comments. We'll take a look. We'll see if we can incorporate them somehow. For those who are not subscribers to our feed do subscribe, It's a great place for conversations just like this. Talk to you guys later.