Trump’s Pitiful America 250 Event Is Already an Embarrassment

Summary

Bulwark Takes Podcast: "Trump’s Pitiful America 250 Event Is Already an Embarrassment"

Date: May 28, 2026
Host: JVL (Jonathan V. Last)
Guests: Sonny Bunch and unnamed Bulwark colleagues

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Episode Overview

This episode delivers a sharp, satirical analysis of the upcoming "America 250" celebration, a Trump-led extravaganza intended to mark the United States' 250th anniversary. The hosts dissect the event’s embarrassingly lackluster musical lineup, the spectacle of a UFC-style fight on the White House lawn, and other planned activities. They draw frequent comparisons to dystopian pop culture, particularly "The Boys" on Amazon, and dwell on the cringe-worthy, over-the-top, and hollow nature of Trump's vision for America’s milestone event.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Shambolic Musical Lineup (00:00 - 04:45)

• Announcement & Fallout:
  Trump’s "Freedom Free America / Great American State Fair" releases its music lineup: Martina McBride, Flo Rida (misannounced as "Flo R"), Young MC, CNC Music Factory, Vanilla Ice, Milli Vanilli, The Commodores, Morris Day and The Time, and Bret Michaels.
  • Immediate backlash ensues; Young MC and Morris Day & The Time drop out after the announcement goes public, likely due to reputational risks associated with the Trump administration.
  • Quote: "As you mentioned… the musical guests are really just the icing on the cake." — Sonny Bunch (01:11)
• "State Fair Circuit" Mockery:
  The acts are described as typical for local state fairs, not national-scale celebrations.
  • "These are all acts that frequently perform at state fairs." — Unnamed Bulwark colleague (01:50)
  • Even the Texas State Fair is said to host better music some years.
• Questioning the Choices:
  There’s confusion over acts like Milli Vanilli (who never sang their own songs, and one member is deceased), and CNC Music Factory ("neither C nor C is part of Music Factory anymore," (03:49)).
  • "I’m sorry, what are you having Milli Vanilli there to perform? They didn’t perform their own songs in the first place." — Unnamed Bulwark colleague (04:27)
• Who Makes the Most Sense?
  Vanilla Ice is presented as the most logical choice thanks to his known Trump affiliations.
  • "Vanilla Ice has performed at Mar-a-Lago. I believe he has done, you know, Trump." — Sonny Bunch (04:53)

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2. UFC Fight on the White House Lawn (05:14 - 06:52)

• Surreal Visuals:
  Plans for a literal cage fight on the White House grounds, complete with arches and staging, are panned as garish and un-American. Commentators joke about the White House looking like it's been bombed or invaded.
  • "The before picture is just the White House… and the after, half the White House has been destroyed…like we lost a war." — JVL, Unnamed Colleague, Sonny (06:14-06:20)
• Distribution of Tickets:
  General public is shut out—tickets go to military personnel, "American heroes," and donors; normies must watch from afar on screens set up around the Ellipse.
• Bread and Circuses Analogy:
  Drawing on Roman history, the hosts liken the spectacle to classical "bread and circuses," calling it a symptom not just of late-stage empire but of a culture that’s lost its way.
  • "This is probably just mid-Roman Empire, frankly, the bread and circuses was throughout..." — Sonny Bunch (06:55)

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3. America 250 as Satire Come True (07:02 - 09:38)

• Parody Outpaced by Reality:
  The hosts repeatedly mention how the event feels like an episode of "The Boys," a show with a Trump-like supervillain.
  • "We're living in The Boys… things that would happen in the…TV series The Boys..." — Sonny Bunch (01:11)
  • "You can't parody what is happening here." — Unnamed Bulwark colleague (08:33)
• Absurd Branding:
  They mock the event’s tagline ("Patriotism is participation"), comparing it to fascistic corporate sloganeering in pop culture.
  • "Be a patriot. Celebrate. Participate. It is like something that Vought would do on The Boys." — Sonny Bunch (07:30-07:34)
• The ‘Freedom Truck’:
  Attention turns to the Freedom Big Rig Truck—a traveling museum exhibit, decked out with patriotic art and bringing "freedom" to schools and festivals at great expense ($6/gal diesel).
  • "We're bringing freedom to the people on a truck." — Unnamed Bulwark colleague (08:55)

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4. Will It Work — Or Just Flop? (09:44 - 11:35)

• Comparison to Failed Military Parades:
  Skepticism about whether the event will succeed or be an embarrassing flop, like Trump’s much-maligned military parade.
  • "Is this going to work? Or is it going to be like the military parade… it was sad..." — JVL (09:44-09:50)
• Possible Snafus:
  Worries about unimpressive fights, underwhelming "blood sports," and the awkwardness if an American competitor loses.
  • "What if the blood sports aren't good then?" — JVL (10:23)
• Cringe Factor & Obsession with Celebrity:
  Hosts point out Republicans’ contradictory attitudes toward celebrity—despising it while also desperately seeking its approval.
  • "They claim to hate celebrity, and yet they grab onto the barest glimmers of celebrity that they can." — Sonny Bunch (10:51)
• "The Worst Portion of 1990-1993":
  With a bill headlined by Vanilla Ice, Milli Vanilli, and CNC Music Factory, the event is seen as hopelessly dated and embarrassing.
  • "Just like the worst portion of 1990 to 1993 all combined into one amazing evening." — Sonny Bunch (11:35)

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5. The Surreal ‘Patriot Games’ & More (11:55 - 13:40)

• Strange Upcoming Events:
  Beyond the state fair and UFC fight, they preview the "Patriot Games": a national physical competition for high school athletes (likened to Hunger Games).
  • "You're thinking of the Hunger Games. Yes, we will have that." — Sonny Bunch (12:46)
  • "These competitors will light the torch for a new generation of Americans." — Unnamed Bulwark colleague (13:03)
• Dystopian Echoes:
  They imagine "The Boys" producing a parody segment—and reality following suit—noting that true satire is now impossible.
  • "You can't parody this reality. We live in an unparodyable existence…" — Sonny Bunch (13:28)

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6. Pop Culture Parallels & The MAGA Mindset (13:40 - 14:18)

• The hosts discuss how conservative Trump fans ("MAGA") idolize Homelander from "The Boys," failing to perceive his villainy, and even resenting his defeat in the show’s finale.
  • "If you don't realize that he is a giant man baby and the end of him would involve him crying…then you have not paid attention to either The Boys or reality." — Sonny Bunch (14:02)

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7. Cracking Jokes & Playing "What If" (14:18 - End)

• Wishful Thinking:
  They fantasize about Kid Rock swooping in by helicopter to bail out the event, and joke about Kimberly Guilfoyle performing if there's an opening in the schedule.

  • "Free idea for the president: Kimberly Guilfoyle could step to the stage and do a little bit of crooning herself." — JVL (14:42)
  • "Where is Kid Rock? Where is Nicki Minaj?" — Unnamed Bulwark colleague (15:08)

• Nostalgia & Ironic Enjoyment:
  Joking about Kid Rock’s past performances, including recent counter-programming the Super Bowl, and pop-culture moments from the early 2000s MTV era.

  • "Those days are gone." — JVL (15:46)

• Series Finale Energy:
  The show wraps on a darkly comic note, likening America’s 250th to a series finale, suggesting a sense of national fatigue and farce.

  • "We're going to have more fun stuff as America marks its completion slash celebration slash series finale, the 250th anniversary. Yeah, you know, the series finale of America. It's coming soon. Sooner than you think. Good luck." — JVL (End)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• "We're living in The Boys… things that would happen in the…TV series The Boys..." — Sonny Bunch (01:11)
• "These are all acts that frequently perform at state fairs." — Unnamed Bulwark colleague (01:50)
• "I’m sorry, what are you having Milli Vanilli there to perform? They didn’t perform their own songs in the first place." — Unnamed Bulwark colleague (04:27)
• "It looks like we've lost a war." — JVL (06:17)
• "Patriotism is participation… Be a patriot. Celebrate. Participate." — Sonny Bunch (07:26-07:31)
• "You can't parody what is happening here." — Unnamed Bulwark colleague (08:33)
• "Is this going to work? Or is it going to be like the military parade… it was sad..." — JVL (09:44-09:50)
• "Just like the worst portion of 1990 to 1993 all combined into one amazing evening." — Sonny Bunch (11:35)
• "You're thinking of the Hunger Games. Yes, we will have that." — Sonny Bunch (12:46)
• "If you don't realize that he is a giant man baby… then you have not paid attention to either the boys or reality." — Sonny Bunch (14:02)
• "The series finale of America. It's coming soon. Sooner than you think. Good luck." — JVL (End)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00-04:45 – Musical lineup and initial dropouts
• 05:14-06:52 – UFC fight at the White House, spectacle criticism
• 07:02-09:38 – Rest of the celebration: branding, "Freedom Truck," parody discussion
• 09:44-11:35 – Will the event succeed or flop? Celebrity obsession
• 11:55-13:40 – Patriot Games and dystopian games/how satire fails
• 13:40-14:18 – MAGA, "The Boys," and villain worship
• 14:18-End – Jokes about Kid Rock, pop culture, and the sense of an American "series finale"

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Tone & Style

• Irreverent, skeptical, deeply satirical, with frequent pop-culture references and a running undercurrent of dark humor about America’s political and cultural condition under Trump’s continued influence.
• Speaker personalities shine through—mocking, incredulous, yet at times almost wistful about a better version of such national celebrations.

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Listeners' Takeaway

Through their scathing humor and exasperated analysis, the Bulwark team paints "America 250" not as a patriotic celebration, but as an embarrassing, dystopian spectacle—pitched somewhere between failed reality TV, a state fair past its prime, and a pop-culture parody that’s overtaken reality itself. The episode is for anyone astounded at how far American public life has drifted into the surreal—and expertly frames these developments with wit, historical perspective, and biting critique.

Transcript

[JVL]

Donald Trump's America. Freedom Free America. Patriot Big Hullabaloo has had its musical guests announced. We're going to talk about all that, plus the UFC fight. I'm JVL here with my Bulwark colleague Sonny Bunch. Sonny, yesterday Freedom 250 said that they have the Great American State Fair, which I guess is the other thing we're calling this. It's going to have Martina McBride, Flo R, not Florida. It's Flo R, Young MC, CNC, Music Factory, who are going to make you sweat. Vanilla Ice, Millie Vanilli, the Commodores, Morris Day, and the Time, Brett Michaels. Not the wrestler. That's Shawn Michaels.

[Sonny Bunch]

That's Shawn Michaels. Or Bret Hart.

[JVL]

Or Bret Hart. Anyway, a whole thing happened about this and then suddenly a bunch of people said, wait, no, we're not doing this. So Young MC dropped out. Morris Day in the time dropped out. I think there may be more. And that's before we even get to the giant cage fight, which is going to happen on the White House lawn, which they are building right now. We'll talk about that. Second looks great. Sonny. What's, what is happening? Well, are we living in idiocracy?

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

As you know?

[Sonny Bunch]

No, we're living in the Boys. This is all very explicitly like things that would happen in the Amazon prime video TV series the Boys, which just wrapped up. But the we're, we're celebrating America's 250th anniversary. And in normal times this would be, you know, the fun and be interesting and instead it's turned into a whole weird Trump driven thing. The musical guests that were announced for this are really just the icing on the cake. As you mentioned, Martina McBride, Flo Rida Young MC, CNC Music Factory, Vanilla Ice, Milli Vanilli, the Commodores, Morris Day in

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

the Time, Bret Michaels.

[Sonny Bunch]

These were the acts that were announced and they were going to perform over several days at the Great American State Fair.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

And once you think about that name for about 10 seconds, it becomes very obvious what happened. These are all acts that frequently perform at state fairs.

[Sonny Bunch]

Look, we have a very nice state fair here in Texas. I live just miles from the Texas State Fairgrounds. And they're great. And every year they have all sorts of interesting musical acts. They're usually better than this.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Well, although last year we had the

[Sonny Bunch]

Village People here, which I'm surprised the Village People is not on this lineup, frankly. It was, I was scanning, I was looking.

[JVL]

But it is one thing to play their music. Having the actual gays on stage, I think would have made a bunch of people in the Trump coalition unhappy.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

I just don't think that's true. Trump was on stage with them not long ago.

[Sonny Bunch]

He was.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

You know, he was. He was doing the dance. It was at the convention, wasn't it? Didn't they have the Village People at

[JVL]

the convention Square Garden?

[Sonny Bunch]

I don't remember.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Or maybe. Maybe it was the inaugural. Inaugural. I don't know.

[Sonny Bunch]

It happened recently. And Trump's very. He's doing his Trump dance.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

But so what happened was all of

[Sonny Bunch]

these acts, I'm sure their management was just like, yeah, sure, you're going to give us money to play to State Fair. That's what we do. That's all we do now. That's our. That's our job. And our job is to sign those contracts and get you out there. And then it gets announced by the Daily Wire. And of course, Daily Wire has a very strong pipeline to the White House for all White House celebrity news.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

So they. They put that out there and everybody

[Sonny Bunch]

kind of makes fun of this. And Morris Day of Morris Day and Time is like, no, we're not doing this. We're what? I'm not. I'm not doing this. That's not a thing that's happening. First comment on Morris Day in the Times Facebook page, by the way, was thank fuck I nearly died when from a fan who heard. Heard about it and then Young MC dropped out. Of course he wrote several big Tone Loafs.

[JVL]

He's still young.

[Sonny Bunch]

I think he's just MC now. He actually had the. The courts required him to drop the Young because he's got to be 65.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Well but this whole lineup though is. Is kind of hilarious. Like the folks who haven't dropped out.

[Sonny Bunch]

C Music Factory who wants to make everybody dance now.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Everybody dance now.

[Sonny Bunch]

Like, neither C nor C is part of Music factory anymore. What one Cole. David Cole's David Coles died in 95 or 96 or something like that. And then Robert Sevilla was essentially kicked out of.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

He had the band name stolen from

[Sonny Bunch]

him through a series of legal maneuverings

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

and is no longer involved and is

[Sonny Bunch]

very annoyed that they're out and touring and. And doing everything without him. Maybe that has changed that. That. That the last I knew that that that was true.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Or I vanill 1 of 1/2 of

[Sonny Bunch]

Milli Vanilli is dead. They took their own Life after the VH1 behind the Music special and then the other one is still out there touring.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

But like Milli Vanilli is the. I'm sorry, what are you having Milli Vanilli there to perform. They didn't. They didn't perform their own songs in the first place. I don't what is happening here. Vanilla Ice is the one only person here who makes the actual most sense.

[Sonny Bunch]

I guess maybe Martina McBride. I assume there's a lot of overlap between Trump fans and McBride fans, but

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

vanilla Ice has performed at Mar a Lago.

[Sonny Bunch]

I believe he has done, you know, Trump.

[JVL]

A genuine Trump, Stan. Right.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

He's a. He's a big Trump. You know, Ice. Ice, baby. And the ninja rap from Teenage mutant Ninja Turtles 2. I would. I would happily have gone to see

[Sonny Bunch]

that if I was 8 years old in 1990.

[JVL]

And this dirt bike, like stunt jumps, too.

[Sonny Bunch]

Yeah.

[JVL]

Which is very America. I mean, I'm just spitballing here, but we've seen the gigantic arches that are gonna be going over the octagon, the big cage fighting pit. And I'm just thinking that it is a missed opportunity not to have Vanilla Ice jumping on his dirt bike. Jumping the dirt bike over it while singing his song.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

I mean, look, you say this in

[Sonny Bunch]

jest, but I really.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

If we are doing this thing, how do we not.

[JVL]

Is this America or not? If this was a Ram commercial. If this was a Ram commercial, that's what would happen.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Do we not have a evil Knievel like figure who can do a jump

[Sonny Bunch]

over the UFC fight?

[JVL]

We do. His name is Vanilla Ice.

[Sonny Bunch]

The image of this thing is amazing. Just the before and after picture of the White House is a real telling look into where things are right now. You've got before. The before picture is just the White House. We all know what the White House looks like, and it's got multiple wings and it's got a nice little lawn area. It looks really nice.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

New White House. Half the White House has been destroyed, has been raised.

[JVL]

Looks like we've lost a war.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

It looks. It looks like the British came back

[Sonny Bunch]

and we're like, we're finishing 1812, bitches.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

And then there's a big, awful, ugly

[Sonny Bunch]

stages that has the big arcs for the lights.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Of course, you know, you can't buy

[Sonny Bunch]

tickets to see this thing. The tickets are all going to be handed out.

[JVL]

Well, they take the nomenclature well.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

The tickets are going to be handed out to members of the military and

[Sonny Bunch]

other American heroes and also probably a lot of donors. And then.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

But if you're a normal person, you can watch it on the Ellipse. You know, that's. That's what.

[Sonny Bunch]

It's where the normies can watch it on. On the Ellipse on a screen. The whole thing is.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Is a disaster, but it is represented

[Sonny Bunch]

probably just mid ro. Just Roman Empire, frankly, the bread and circuses was throughout. That wasn't. That wasn't limited to late stage.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

The. The whole America 250 thing is again,

[Sonny Bunch]

like, like something out of the Boys, though. Like, if you go to the website and you scroll through it, there's like a black and white image of a

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

girl on a beach with a triangular American flag kite running along.

[Sonny Bunch]

And it's like you can just practically hear somebody saying, America is freedom. And if you don't like the.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

The tagline on this thing is partis.

[Sonny Bunch]

What is it? It's patriotism is participation.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Be.

[Sonny Bunch]

Be a patriot. Celebrate.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Participate. It is like something that Vought would

[Sonny Bunch]

do on the Boys.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Now, jbl, you don't watch the Boys

[Sonny Bunch]

because you don't watch tv. You don't have time for that. You don't have time.

[JVL]

I did read the. Read some of the comic. I was, I was. I dabbled in the comics when the comics came out. The Boys is based on a comic book. People don't think that it just happened on. On streaming television, but the show is

[Sonny Bunch]

pretty different from the comic books, the big thrust of it.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

And this happened kind of to the

[Sonny Bunch]

detriment of the show.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

People watching the show got very into

[Sonny Bunch]

Homelander, who is the villain of the thing. He's like the Superman figure who's very evil.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

And so the show kept making him

[Sonny Bunch]

more and more like Donald Trump.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

There's a shot in the latest season

[Sonny Bunch]

of the Boys in which Homelander is. Has decided he is Christ 2.0. He is the. He is the actual Christian God.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

And so he creates a golden idol

[Sonny Bunch]

of himself at a church that he

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

goes and is going to, you know, ascend at. This came out literally like two weeks

[Sonny Bunch]

before Donald Trump unveiled his own golden statue of himself at Mar a Lago.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

It was like the show. The show leaned into it so hard that. But you can't parody it. You can't.

[JVL]

That it anticipated reality.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

You cannot. You cannot parody what is happening here. There is a jbl. Have you seen the Freedom truck? Have you seen the free truck?

[JVL]

I was about to ask you, what

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

is the Freedom Big rig truck?

[Sonny Bunch]

The Freedom truck is. It's a big rig and it's got

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

a painting of Washington crossing the Delaware

[Sonny Bunch]

on the side of it.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

And it travels the country with a museum exhibit, going to various high schools and festivals to bring freedom to the people. We're bringing freedom to. To the people on a truck because Lord knows nobody else knows how to

[Sonny Bunch]

celebrate American freedom other than freedom250.org it's. I just.

[JVL]

The whole thing is all at $6 a gallon. That's got to be expensive.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

I wonder.

[Sonny Bunch]

I do wonder how much this is. I assume this is all private donations. Just.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Just like.

[Sonny Bunch]

Just like the ballroom.

[JVL]

Oh, yeah, just like the ballroom.

[Sonny Bunch]

Would.

[JVL]

Would Doge approve of a Freedom truck? It just seems wasteful.

[Sonny Bunch]

I don't know.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Yes, well, we took away all the

[Sonny Bunch]

AIDS drugs from the African children and we poured it into the Freedom Truck.

[JVL]

$6 diesel for the freedom truck? Sure, why not? I struggle here.

[Sonny Bunch]

Struggle.

[JVL]

I struggle. Is this going to work?

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Define work.

[JVL]

Or is it going to be like the military parade? You will recall that Trump wanted his military parade, and it was a big deal. And then when it happened, it was sad and he was even sort of mad about it.

[Sonny Bunch]

Yeah.

[JVL]

Is this going to wind up being sad? Like, what if. I don't know, what if the. What if the fights aren't very good? People who care about, like, combat sports, like, the mi. They actually. It's not a very good card. And what. What if the American loses?

[Sonny Bunch]

Like, what if the blood sports are no good?

[JVL]

What if the blood sports aren't good then?

[Sonny Bunch]

That's a great question.

[JVL]

Could Trump go down? Will he go down onto the like. Like in Gladiator, like Commodus, Will he give the thumbs up, thumbs down at the end of the. The end of the gladiating? I don't know. I just have questions about it.

[Sonny Bunch]

And so will.

[JVL]

Will people look at this and be like, yes, this was awesome. Or will this be sort of cringe?

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

It's already cringe. I mean, this is the problem that

[Sonny Bunch]

most Republican administrations face, frankly, is that they. They claim to hate celebrity, and yet they grab on to the barest glimmers of celebrity that they can. This is, frankly, one of the reasons why Trump rose to prominence in the first place was like, ooh, a celebrity

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

saying things I like about somebody.

[Sonny Bunch]

I don't like Barack Obama saying.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Saying things about immigrants who I also don't like. I mean, I've seen this guy on tv. I. I'm pretty excited.

[JVL]

He must be a great businessman.

[Sonny Bunch]

He must be. He must be very successful if he is saying the things I like and he's on tv.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

So this has always been a problem, but it's already cringe. I mean, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. There's a day, there's a single day of this musical concert that is Milli Vanilli and Vanilla Ice and.

[Sonny Bunch]

I don't know, whatever. The other, the Last one was CNC Music Factory. Just like the worst portion of 1990 to 1993 all combined into one amazing evening. I just. I can't imagine anybody is looking at this thing and not thinking it's cringe. In fall, we're going to have the Patriot Games.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Aren't you excited for the Patriot Games? Yes, the Patriot Games national competition. And sadly, it's not just repeated screenings

[Sonny Bunch]

of Patriot Games on the lawn. I would watch that. I. You know, I love. I love Philip.

[JVL]

Do you like Sean Bean?

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Sean Bean, number one.

[JVL]

Sean Bean and Harrison Ford together again. I mean, who could watch that?

[Sonny Bunch]

I would watch that.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

But the. But there's going to be an IndyCar race. Maybe that'll be good. I don't know. There's a big sale. They're gonna put. They're gonna put together a bunch of ships from, you know, colonial times and

[Sonny Bunch]

the wars of independence in 1812, and they're gonna sail them around the harbor.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

I'm sure that'll be fun to look

[Sonny Bunch]

at, you know, I guess. I don't know, man.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

It's.

[Sonny Bunch]

The whole thing is already terrible.

[JVL]

But the high school won't. We have teenage kids from each state competing in games of physical skill.

[Sonny Bunch]

You're thinking of the Hunger Games. Yes, we will have that.

[JVL]

No, but I believe that is also part of it. Is.

[Sonny Bunch]

It is. Yeah. That's part of the Patriot Games. I believe there is a. There is a.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Yes. First of its kind of competition from each spotlight, male and female high school

[Sonny Bunch]

athletes from every state and territory, from

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

opening heats to the live final day in front of a live audience. These competitors will light the torch for a new generation of Americans.

[Sonny Bunch]

And again, you could just imagine Boys Seg.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

A segment on the boys about this in which a train is doing an ad and he's like, these kids can run almost as fast as me. It would be the worst thing in the world. And people would be like, oh, my God, this is so embarrassing. The boys is embarrassing itself by just focusing so much on Trump. How can they do this?

[Sonny Bunch]

And then, like, six months later, it would happen because you can't parody this reality. We live in an unparityable existence, which is, you know, that is in and of itself, its own kind of problem.

[JVL]

Does manga watch the boys and think that Homelander is the hero?

[Sonny Bunch]

Yes, yes. They. They're.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

And, like, there's a part.

[Sonny Bunch]

There's an ironic, like, oh, we're cheering for Homelander sort of thing. They got very mad at the finale, which. In which spoiler Homelander is defeated and cries like a little girl. And they're like, he would never do that.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

And I'm sorry if you. If you have fallen for Homelander shtick

[Sonny Bunch]

through the entire series, if you don't realize that he is a giant man baby and the end of him would involve him crying and begging for his own life, then you have not paid attention to either the boys or reality. I mean, it just is. It is what it is.

[JVL]

Well, it's great. I can't wait for our reality. I'm just counting down. We're only like, what, six weeks away. It's happening. I feel the excitement.

[Sonny Bunch]

I can't possibly imagine anything. I am looking forward to more than the great American State Fair.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

And I'm just sad that more Stay in the Time aren't gonna be there.

[Sonny Bunch]

Frankly, I was hoping they would be performing, you know, again, some of their stuff.

[JVL]

Free idea for the president. I know she is now abroad as one of our great ambassadors, but I believe Kimberly Guilfoyle could step to the stage and do a little bit of crooning herself. If there's a hole in the schedule,

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

the best is yet to come. Well, I just don't understand. I mean, we're making all these jokes, but, like, where is Kid Ro. Where? Why isn't Kid Rock coming in to

[Sonny Bunch]

save the day here?

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

Where is Nicki Minaj?

[JVL]

Well, we did see the Kid Rock. Like, didn't Kid Rock counter program the super bowl recently? And it was.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

It was an enormous hit. It did millions of views on YouTube. It was. Everyone watched it. JVL. You watched it. I watched it.

[Sonny Bunch]

We all.

[JVL]

And I liked Kid Rock. It was not good. I remember the MTV Music Awards with the passing of the torture. Kid Rock and Steven Tyler did a mashup and they were throwing the microphones back and forth to each other and they brought the house down during the glory days of ball with the ball. And those days are gone.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

But you could imagine. You could imagine. You know, Kid Rock is very good friends with our Secretary of Defense. Maybe this is all a ruse. He's going to come in on a helicopter on the last night and repel rope drop down onto a stage.

[JVL]

He'll speed rope down.

[Unnamed Bulwark Colleague]

He'll speed rope down onto a stage and he will do bawa da ba and he will bring the house down. Could you imagine how we've all been mocking this? We've all been mocking this, and yet we.

[Sonny Bunch]

The possibility exists of a great surprise. Jbl.

[JVL]

Look, honestly, if Kid Rock speed, roped down from a blackhawk into the UFC ring. And then the twisted brown trucker band just all around him. Kind of like that scene in Dark Knight Rises when Bane and his people are roping down into the the underground prison and, and the ghost of Joe C. Appeared, maybe via H hologram, and, and they just started ripping out the classics. American badass ball with the ball. I, I, I would kind of be there for that. All right, everybody. Hey, hit, like, hit. Subscribe. We're going to have more fun stuff as America marks its completion slash celebration series finale, the 250th anniversary. Yeah, you know, the series finale of America. It's coming soon. Sooner than you think. Good luck.