We Can't Write Out What This GOP Candidate Funds. You Have to Listen.

Summary

Bulwark Takes – Episode Summary "We Can't Write Out What This GOP Candidate Funds. You Have to Listen."
Date: June 4, 2026
Host & Panel: Sam Stein (D), Tim Miller (B), Will Sommer (C)

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of Bulwark Takes sees Sam Stein, Tim Miller, and Will Sommer unpacking a chaotic week in politics and culture, blending irreverent humor with sharp analysis. The trio explores Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner’s controversial Albanian island project, the bizarre rise of Colorado GOP gubernatorial hopeful Victor Marks and his penchant for phone-based exorcisms, George Santos’ latest scam, and a wild saga involving right-wing provocateur Elijah Schaefer. The tone veers between incredulity and satire, providing listeners with both hard facts and scathing hot takes.

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Key Topics & Insights

1. Ivanka Island and the Albanian Protests (00:42–09:59)

The Situation

• Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner are facing backlash as they attempt to develop a $1.4 billion luxury resort on a remote Albanian island, previously a Cold War outpost and a site beloved for its pristine wetlands and flamingos.
• The local and international uproar has led to street protests, diplomatic tensions (after a Greek protester was attacked), and the EU questioning Albania’s anti-corruption standards.

Panel Discussion Highlights

• Ivanka's Detachment

  • [02:18] Ivanka describes “an incredible project with my husband in the Mediterranean [...] we found it while we were on a friend’s boat, and we were captivated.”
  • Sam: “She’s like, you know, we’re on a friend’s boat just in the middle of the Mediterranean, as one does. We found this beautiful island. We climbed the mountains in bare feet. And we had to have it.” (04:05)

• Media and Aesthetic Critiques

  • Tim on Ivanka’s "beige" millennial aesthetic: “The millennial beige is over. Stop it. Stop with this color palette. I want to see a color. Everything is white. It is antiseptic. It is horrible.” (03:09)

• Albania’s Reaction and International Fallout

  • Will: “There were protests outside of the island, and the security guards grabbed one of the protesters and started beating him... Now this has caused a diplomatic row with the Greek government and now the EU.” (05:39)
  • “The EU said [...] it seems like there’s maybe some corruption going on in this process, and you can’t be corrupt if you want to join. So we might have to, you know, question your EU membership status.” (05:39)

• The Prime Minister’s Position

  • Sam: “Who knows, you might be DMing the Prime Minister of Albania for all I know. What’s he saying about this?”
  • Will: “Unfortunately, the prime minister is all in on this. He has said that Ivanka Island will put Albania on what he called the Champions League of world tourist destinations.” (07:47)

• Money Trail

  • Will: “The money from this is coming from a mix of Qatari and Saudi money.” (07:47)

• Panel’s Solidarity

  • Tim: “Do not let the Kushners rape your wetlands. Okay, for real?” (06:51)

• Notable Quote

  • Tim: “When you’re talking about hectares, you’re up to no good, I think it’s fair to say.” (08:55)

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2. Victor Marks: Exorcist, Liar, and GOP Frontrunner in Colorado (10:44–15:39)

The Candidate

• Victor Marks, self-styled pastor, “the world’s fastest disarmer,” and “Cajun karate” expert (a martial art invented by his ex-pimp father), is the surprise frontrunner for Colorado’s GOP governor primary.

Wild Claims and Exorcism Platform

• Claimed to have killed people in the military (though he wasn’t in combat), rescued “more than 45,000 women and children,” and called in deadly airstrikes—all unproven.
• Offers phone-based exorcisms for $99, yet claims not to charge.

Notable Exchange (13:26–14:09)

• Reporter: “You perform exorcisms commanding demons to come out of people. Can you explain how that works?”
• Victor Marks: “I think of them as assignments or attachments to people. We identify the demon like Jesus did... and then we destroy them, banish them to perfect judgment from Christ.”
• Asked if phone exorcisms are as effective: “They are.” (14:05)

Panel's Take

• Sam: “Your head of state is going to get that demon out of your life. And he’s got experience doing it.” (14:40)
• Tim (on the GOP trend): “There will never be a better line than Thomas Massie’s line about how Republicans want to nominate the craziest son of a bitch in the race and how he thought that he was the craziest son of the in the race till Trump came along.” (16:02)

Additional Oddities

• Marks claims he was forced to “murder a man when he was 7 years old.” (18:41)
• Repeatedly unable to name any locations from his rescue claims: “That’s what I have a passport for, man. I can’t keep track of that.” (19:07)

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3. Iowa’s Cock Ring Manufacturer and Other GOP Oddities (16:14–18:54)

• Discussion shifts to Iowa's Republican gubernatorial candidate: a cock ring manufacturer, allegedly invested in marketing such products to straight men.
• Tim: “Cock rings are pretty popular in the gay community... This particular manufacturer... they were trying to market the cockrings to the Straits. [...] You or your friends... might be interested in a product that makes your bulge look better in your pants?” (17:03)
• Sam: “How do you know I’m not wearing one right now?” (17:50)

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4. Recalling Far-Right Eccentrics and Past Republican Kooks (19:23–21:33)

• Nostalgia for past “crazy” Republican candidates, like Sue Loudon (Nevada, chicken-bartering for healthcare) and the Colorado “litter box in classrooms” rumor, shows how far the party’s base has shifted.

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5. George Santos: Predictive Betting and (Alleged) Insider Trading (22:05–23:42)

• George Santos is investigated for placing a bet on himself to miss the State of the Union gallery after misleading the public and then orchestrating his own absence.

• Sam: “He bet that he would not be in the gallery in attendance. And now people at CalShe are flagging him for investigation and looks like there is a federal investigation into whether he committed insider trading.” (23:25)

• Tim (on Santos’ media hunger): “George Santos wants you to talk about him more than anyone in the history of the world wants to be talked about. I don’t find him funny. I don’t find any of his bits funny.” (22:18)

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6. Elijah Schaefer and Male Bonding Hot Takes (24:24–29:07)

• Ex-right-wing talker Elijah Schaefer, once a Glenn Beck protégé, appears on “Bear With Me” (hosted by “Chad Champion”), pushing for threesomes with male friends as a form of non-gay, male bonding, and recounting his affair with trad-wife Sarah Stock (who was married).
• Elijah: “There’s nothing better [than] locking eyes with your boy... I think the culture in Europe is a little different.” (27:48)
• Will: “This is Elijah Schaefer... The latest one was he went on this new kind of rising, kind of groyper verse show called Bear With Me. Chad Champion [...] Elijah was like, Chad, I gotta tell you, brother, you gotta get into having more threesomes with your boys.” (24:55)
• Sam: “Treating women as conquests for you and the boys is problematic. And talking about the affair you had with a married woman... there’s problems there on a spiritual level in addition to, well, an emotional one as well.” (28:13)

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Notable Quotes

• Tim: “Do not let the Kushners rape your wetlands. Okay, for real?” (06:51)
• Will: “When you’re talking about hectares, you’re prob[ably] up to no good, I think it’s fair to say.” (08:55)
• Sam (on GOP strategy): “You would think the Colorado Republicans would do some weed, chill out, try to find a pro-weed, pro environment, pro skiing, bro, you know, to run. But no.” (21:14)
• Tim (on Santos): “George Santos wants you to talk about him more than anyone in the history of the world wants to be talked about.” (22:18)
• Elijah Schaefer: “There ain’t nothing gay [about threesomes with your boys]... It’s your boy. Dude.” (26:14)

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Noteworthy Moments with Timestamps

• Ivanka’s “barefoot mountain hike” and instant island obsession (03:33–04:08)
• Discussion of Albanian protests, diplomatic rows, and EU involvement (05:08–06:29)
• Victor Marks describes his exorcism process (13:26–14:09)
• Recollection about cock rings and Iowa’s “bulge politics” (17:03–17:55)
• Retrospective on conservative “litter box in classroom” hysteria (20:35–21:33)
• George Santos’ scam explained (22:05–23:42)
• Elijah Schaefer’s candid “male bonding” philosophy (25:55–28:13)

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Episode Flow & Tone

• The conversation embodies The Bulwark’s signature approach: sarcastic humor, inside baseball, and policy critique, blending current news with off-the-wall personal stories and cultural observations.
• Irreverent, conversational, and occasionally profane, with panelists talking over each other, riffing, and frequently turning political absurdities into comedic gold.

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For listeners who missed it:
This episode is a rollicking tour of contemporary right-wing madness—Ivanka and Jared igniting a Mediterranean diplomatic incident, a GOP gubernatorial hopeful performing phone exorcisms, cock ring investments in Iowa, and the collapse of dignity in American politics and media. All delivered with the Bulwark trio’s signature blend of wit and alarm.

Transcript

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[D]

Hey everyone, it's me, Sam Stein, managing out of the Bulwark. I'm joined by Tim Miller and Will Summer for the latest edition of the trio. It's been too long, fellas. We got a lot to dive into. We're going to be talking about Ivanka Island, Albanian protests, a weird candidate in Tim's home state, a governor candidate who believes in what? Exorcisms.

[B]

In this case the home state being Colorado. My, not my current state.

[D]

Yeah, you have a weird history of our connection with weird governors. I should say George Santos. We're going to make Tim talk about George Santos violating a principle. We may dive into Bill Pulte and Harley Davidson. I don't know. Elijah Schaefer. Gotta do like rings.

[B]

Yeah. Conquering story I got into on the main podcast.

[C]

I saw that. What was that?

[D]

Did they? Well, we'll get into it all. I'm thinking of inviting Scott Pelley to join the trio if he's got some free time. I feel like I guess the quad turning into the quad. If Scott Pelley comes on. We're not going to talk about Scott.

[B]

If your agent is out there, Scott Pelley, you know, we are interested in having you join the quad. I don't think we can pay CBS kind of money but be fun.

[D]

Yeah, you'd be like loosening up a little bit from your 60 Minutes roots. So we'll see. Maybe I'll do it. Let's start with Ivanka Island. This thing is blowing up and I don't think it's getting proper attention in the media but it's all over my feed. I guess it's cuz I, I, I, I clicked on one of her weird videos. So let's play the video and then we'll get you some background. Basically they want to take over an island. She and Jared want to take over an island in off the coast of Albania and the Mediterranean and the people of Albania are not having it. But let's play her discussing it.

[E]

I'm working on an incredible project with my husband in the Mediterranean. It's massive in scale.

[D]

I think that's an understatement. Can you explain?

[E]

Yes, it is.

[D]

There's no power on this island. You're building everything from scratch.

[B]

Correct.

[E]

Well, it's an unbelievable, beautiful, 1400 hectare private island in the middle of the Mediterranean. We were on a friend's boat and we stopped for a swim. Effectively, that's how we found it. We swam to the islands, we went on a hike barefoot all the way up to the top. And we were just captivated. And it stayed with us ever since. And over the course of many years, we developed the opportunity to help realize its potential and transform it, but with a lot of restraint and care. Because the land is so beautiful.

[D]

Is that not a normal activity?

[B]

At least on juniors himself, you know, at least on junior. Give me just the unapologetic, you know, like, big game murdering, sniffing, like, fuck up kid over this, like, nonsense. This fake nonsense. And I'm sorry, we. I'm sure we'll get into the merits of this, and I stand with the people of Albania. But just as an aside point, the millennial beige is over. Like, stop it. Stop with this color palette. It's like, I want to see a color. Like, why is her whole house or whatever room she's in, everything is white. It is antiseptic. It is horrible. It's horrible. It gives me blech.

[D]

I was blown away by how detached it felt. She's like, you know, we're on a friend's boat just in the middle of the Mediterranean, as one does. We found this beautiful island. We climbed the mountains in bare feet. And we had to have it. And it's.

[B]

We had to have it.

[D]

We had to have it.

[B]

It's. Who is the girl in which? Willy Wonka, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Veruca salts. Yeah, there is a little bit. Daddy, give me that. I need that island now.

[D]

All right, so a little background on the Island. It's a 1.4 billion dollar luxury hotel complex that they want to put on this island. It's. It's for development of some peninsula there. They're gonna, you know, touch on some sensitive wetlands. There's obviously concerns about what this means. Apparently, this island was like some old cold war outpost. There's, like, a lot of, like, old, you know, weaponry that they have to get rid of. And the people of Albania are not particularly pleased by this idea that they're going to create the, quote, most ambitious, attractive destination of this side of the Mediterranean. We have some clips of the Albanian protests that we're going to play now. This is all happening in real time, but let's play some of these Albanian protests.

[C]

They're going to overthrow the government.

[D]

You imagine.

[C]

Notice the flamingo. Cuz there are flamingos on the island.

[B]

They're mad.

[D]

It's unbelievable that Ivanka and Jared, who's also, I guess, trying to solve what's going on in Iran, have caused an international incident because they want their eco tourist destination off the coast of Albania.

[C]

This is a crazy situation. I mean, technically, Sam, I will say there are two islands, I believe, that are in the mix here. One of them is a secretive Cold War submarine base. The other is the wetlands that are beloved by flamingos. Right, so there's so much going on here. I mean, you're saying this international incident. There's a video. There were protests outside of the island, and the security guards grabbed one of the protesters and started beating him and then dragged him away. Maybe we can include that video later. But basically, that protester was a Greek citizen. So now this has caused a diplomatic row with the Greek government and now the eu. The eu, Albania, is trying to join the eu. And the EU said, well, you know what? It seems like there's maybe some corruption going on in this process, and you can't be corrupt if you want to join. So we might have to, you know, question your EU membership status. So this is really spiraling out of control.

[B]

A diplomatic row, you say?

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

This is. This is a flap. This is a kerfuffle. This is so veepish. And this is so Selena Meyer. It's just like you do all of a sudden, like, there's a. Madam, there are protests. There are protests in the streets of Albania.

[D]

There's literally, like, the capital. Albania is like arms.

[B]

How do you pronounce it? Toronto. Madam, the protests in the streets of Toronto because of your actions in the Flamingo Wetlands. Because your commentary about the Flamingo Wetlands. That's pretty good. I stand with the people in the streets of Albania fully, though. Do not fold. Do not let the Kushners rape your wetlands. Okay, for real?

[D]

For real. It's ridiculous. Also, I was reading that they're trying to, like, ask for the seizure of the. The money. They want to, like, stop the purchase. Will you probably research this more than us? Who knows? You might be DMing the Prime Minister of Albania for all I know. But, like, what's he saying about this, it's. It can't be. If I were the President of Albania, the Prime Minister of Albania, I would be like, yeah, this is an easy one. I'm not going to let the Kushner Ivanka trumps of the world grab our territory and create a hotel.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Unfortunately, the prime minister is all in on this.

[D]

Oh, no.

[C]

So he has said that. That Ivanka island will put Albania on what he called the Champions League of world tourist destinations. So he's really excited about it now, as you said. So this. The money from. This is coming from a mix of Qatari and Saudi money. And obviously, I guess Jared's maybe putting up some amount, but just recently, just this week, anti corruption prosecutors in Albania froze the accounts of the Qatari landowners of the island. So that is all kind of thrown into. Into chaos there.

[D]

We'll see where this progresses. But it's blowing up on the Twitters. I'm a little bit surprised. It hasn't gone anywhere. Conventional coverage here in. In the United States. But if there continues to be.

[B]

If you're a Democrat, I would start planning an August recess trip to Tirana. You know, get there on the ground. All right. And start to show your solidarity. You know, it's a global resistance, okay. Against the oligarchs and the maga fascists. And one of the battles now is Albania.

[D]

The other thing that. This is so minor, but do you. Do you normally use hectares as a. Hectares.

[C]

When you're talking about hectares, you're prob. Up to no good, I think it's fair to say. Like. Like, if I could just make a couple. There's some interesting. You know, Tim talks about Democrats using this. There are some political parallels or construction parallels between this and the demolition of the East Wing. Number one. This was all rushed through. There was no. There was no announcement of these plans. And people only noticed because they were like, why are the bulldozers all over our beloved Wetlands Island? And so they kind of just went ahead and did it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

A rape. Just like a rape. Like I said, they're raping the wetlands. And they. They come from a history of that. I mean, you know, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[D]

The other thing is that everyone is being online is like, oh, this is. They're. They're drawing parallels with Epstein Island. I'm not drawing parallels just for the lawyers. I'm just saying this is what they're saying.

[B]

I'm thinking about getting some Albania merch. If you're a viewer from Albania.

[D]

Yeah, well, maybe that's Where? Maybe that's our next live show destination.

[B]

Yeah, maybe I should visit. I was gonna say I'm thinking about my vacation. My vacation is already planned, but all of a sudden I'm starting to think maybe I should do a quick detour into alb or just look for some

[D]

other hectares of free of land that you can pillage.

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[D]

All right, this one I had no clue was actually happening till. Tim, you flagged it in our slack. Who is Victor Marks? Why do I care about this person?

[B]

I would kind of defer to Will. I had a tweet length knowledge of this, which I saw and I was like, this is, this is interesting. There's a Colorado Republican gubernatorial hopeful who is hexing people and I don't know. Will, what have you found out about Victor?

[C]

Victor Marks is a truly powerful new figure to sort of enter our national discourse. I mean there's a lot to draw on here. Essentially this guy is a pastor. He has claimed to do, to be. He, he was in the military but not in a combat role yet he's claimed to have killed people. He, he said that he, I mean he wrote a book about himself called Dangerous Gentlemen. He's been billed as the world's fastest disarmer. So he went on Shawn Ryan's show and like pull the guy's gun out of his hand. I mean he's a, he's a, he's, he's an expert in Cajun karate, which is the world's first Christian self defense discipline. Sounds pretty impressive until you find out his dad invented Cajun karate. His dad was a former pimp down in New Orleans.

[B]

So basically I didn't even realize that we had a connection. The New Orleans, Colorado, Louisiana connection.

[C]

Just like you, Tim. You guys have a lot.

[D]

Tim, you gotta, you gotta support this guy. Tim. There's too much, too much.

[B]

We should at least get him on the pod. Victor.

[C]

And now he's the Republican frontrunner for governor of Colorado. But. But that may be changing because he's being asked even a few questions about his background, and it's all falling apart.

[B]

He's the front runner over Mr. Bottoms. There's a state legislator named Mr. Bottoms that's running, but. But he's losing the polls to Marx. What?

[D]

We'll pull up the couch yads in a second. The local interviewer, 9News. Kyle Clark, who does good work, talked to him. He asked if he had killed people as an adult. And Victor Marks got upset with that. Victor Marks took credit for helping rescue 43 missing children in Florida, but could offer no proof of that. Say, 43,043 missing children in Florida. But he also said he had rescued more than 45,000 women and children, which he had also previously asserted before removing the claim from his campaign website. And he declined to address the claim that as a civilian, he once called in a military airstrike that killed 70 fighters from the Islamic State group. And then he told Clark how he performs exorcisms over the phone.

[B]

I apologize. Exorcisms? Not hexes. It's the opposite. I got that opposite. So I apologize, mister.

[C]

You would never dabble in black magic.

[D]

No, that's totally different. All right, let's play him. Talking about exorcisms, please. You perform exorcisms commanding demons to come out of people.

[B]

Can you explain to me how that works?

[F]

I don't command the demons to come out of someone. I think of them as assignments or attachments to people. And we identify the demon like Jesus did. We ask what their name is, and then we give them commands. And they very frequently and typically will answer through the person's mind. They'll tell us what they hear, and then we destroy them, banish them to perfect judgment from Christ.

[D]

You also perform these exorcisms by phone.

[B]

Are those just as effective?

[F]

They are.

[D]

Where does the demon go at the end of the exorcism?

[F]

We send them to the footstool of Jesus Christ, who we believe is sitting at the right hand of the Father, who then absolutely gives them perfect judgment of what happens.

[B]

He exorcised the demon. We need the Ace Ventura clip.

[C]

He says, I don't charge for the exorcisms. And Kyle Clark goes, well, here on your website, you sell the exorcism advice for 99 bucks. And the guy goes,

[D]

can I zag

[C]

a little bit here?

[D]

This seems like a very smart platform to run for governor.

[B]

Demon exorcisms.

[D]

Your head of state is going to get that demon out of your life. And he's got experience doing it.

[B]

We like demons in Colorado a little bit, I will say so. You mentioned Kelsey way before Kelsey Way before these losers tried to make money on turning everything in our lives into gambling. My buddies [e-mail] have been putting out a big line on all the races and they've been doing this for decades now. So I pulled up the coloradopause.com big line and they do have Victor Marks as the favorite to win the GOP nomination. They write the Cajun karate master seems to be rolling towards the nomination. Barbara Kirkmeyer second best both ways. Barb has been struck in neutral for the better part of the year. And then finally, Mr. Bottoms. Scott Bottoms has less money in the bank than most state legislative campaigns. So there we go. Victor Marks exercising the Republican Party in Colorado of any chance to win governorship.

[D]

How do you think it works over phone when you're trying to get rid of the demon? Like, do you call him? Does he call you? Can you do it on landline or can you do it on cell or.

[B]

It does feel like you'd want to see into the eyes of your counterparty if you're an expert.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Like, is it FaceTime? You got to FaceTime, right?

[C]

Is it minor? You know, he has to be in person. If it's Beelzebub, can you do it

[D]

on the Trump phone? I mean, we can combine things here.

[B]

I don't know. I've got to tell you, this guy seems to have, you know, some judge. And I mentioned earlier in Iowa, they've nominated the Republicans have nominated the Thomas Massie. There will never be a better line than Thomas Massie's line about how Republicans want to nominate the craziest son of a bitch in the race and how he thought that he was the craziest son of the in the race till Trump came along. I mean, just prescient. In Iowa, they had like a normal right wing Christian conservative Trump supporter who loses the governor nomination to a guy that was registered to vote in Kansas until like 2023, but is running an Iowa first campaign on Iowa heritage. And he married into a rich family and then used that money to invest into cock ring manufacturing. And so the Iowa Republican nominee, we have the Cochrane manufacturer from Kansas.

[D]

Just want to be clear about cock rings here. We're not talking like chickens.

[B]

No.

[C]

Oh, come on, Sam.

[D]

I just want to make sure.

[B]

It's important that you bring this up actually, because cock rings are pretty popular in the gay community as a way to kind of no problems here on that front, but it's a way to kind of fluff up your, your situation, you know, make it look better in Speedos, you know, make it look better at the club. And this particular manufacturer that Mr. Mr. Hayne or whatever his name is is investing in, they were trying to. Excuse me, Mr. Lane. Zach Lane. They are trying to market the cockrings to the Straits. And so I'm wondering if you think, like, any of your guys', you or your friends might be interested in a product that kind of makes your bulge look a little bit better in your pants. You think that's marketable in the straight community?

[D]

Yeah, absolutely. How do you know I'm not wearing one right now?

[C]

There is, like, I, I, I think a lot more discourse on, on straight men. You know, what do they say? Like, catching print, right? Like trying to, you know, trying to, to, to look good in sweatpants.

[B]

Stuff like that. Little dick print. Yeah. Okay, that's interesting. So that's what, so that's your man for the Republican nomination in Iowa. We're looking potentially at the exorcist who may or may not have murdered people.

[D]

I just want to keep going on the cock rings for a second.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Because I'm, I'm intrigued by this.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Do they have, like, you know that sometimes you can wear rings that kind of monitor your sleep and things like that, you know? I'm talking about the Oura ring.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Like, do they have those very. For your dick ring or.

[B]

No, not that I've heard of. I'm not a connoisseur. I do.

[D]

Do you remember the mood rings that we had when we were like, yeah.

[B]

Okay, now we're, now, now we're bringing

[C]

the conversation just to close out Victor Marks. I, I just to share a couple more Victor Marks moments. So, yeah. So the, the murder thing is because he, he claims his stepfather had him murder a man when he was 7 years old. Seems a little unlikely.

[B]

But then also, this is Corey Lewandowski. Yes. He said that she was a stabber. He'd stabbed somebody to death and got away with it.

[C]

That's right. That's right.

[B]

When he's throwing game at the Benihana and he claimed.

[C]

So he claims he's rescued 45,000 women and children from 30 countries. Kyle Clark says, okay, can you name like, one or two of those countries? And he goes, huh? And he goes, I have guys to keep track of that for me. And he's like, you really don't remember any of them. And he's like, that's what I have a passport for, man. I can't keep track of that.

[D]

Oh, my God. Do you guys remember, like, to Tim's point about the crazy son of a bitch in the room? I was thinking back because some. I forget which one of our reporters was talking about. Oh, I think it was Edgar. Someone's talking about, like, crazy Santa candidates. I was thinking back to Sue Loudon. Tim, do you remember Sue Loudon?

[B]

Only vaguely.

[D]

She ran in Nevada. Nevada, sorry.

[B]

Was that in the Sharon Angle race? Was she also running in Sharon Angle?

[D]

Yeah, yeah. So she. She got in trouble because she talked about bartering for chickens. Bartering for health care by selling chickens or something like that.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

And like, that was like a big crazy thing to say. And like that. That seems so antiquated now. It's like, like, didn't Brooke Rollins say stuff like that too? Like, we're so far beyond.

[B]

You are right. 2010 race, I believe. Sharon Engel. Or was Sharon Engle 14. 2014. They put out. They put out a lot of kooks in the Nevada primaries over the years. Colorado primaries are there as well. It's interesting the. Of all the places you would think that in Colorado to be quasi political pundit. Serious for a second, you would do it with Republicans have done like in a Georgia, right? It's like a blue or in a Virginia and a kind of a purplish state. You know, you find your Glenn Youngkin, you find your Brian Kemp, somebody's gonna appeal a little bit more to the suburban, college educated Republicans. Right? And Colorado just is incapable of doing that in their primaries and have been since Cory Gardner last race. I'm blanking on the woman's name, but they found one of the moms from Liberty Gals whose main issue was the litter boxes in the classrooms. And this is how long I've been at the bulwark now. It was last cycle, four years ago. I did a big investigation into her evidence on the classroom litter boxes. Needless to say, nobody was actually pooping in litter boxes and pretending like they were a cat in Colorado classrooms. But she was very concerned about that. And then Kyle Clark again, you know, he's been around, is like pushing her on this and she wouldn't let it go. And I. You would think that like the Colorado Republicans would like, do some weed, chill out, try to find like a pro weed, pro environment, pro skiing, bro, you know, to run. But no, no.

[D]

Incapable.

[E]

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[B]

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[D]

Speaking of truly outlandish controversial Republicans, one of the ones they did exercise, George Santos is back in the news. I know what? You just don't want to talk about him.

[B]

George Santos wants you to talk about him more than anyone in the history of the world wants to be talked about. I don't find him funny. I don't find any of his bits funny. I know a lot of fat queenie gays like him who have his same shtick but do it much better. And I don't like to give him any attention. So for the rest of this segment, I'll be silencing myself.

[D]

All right, you can silence yourself. I'm going to tell the news about George Santa. So federal authorities are investigating whether he engaged in insider trading by betting on prediction.

[C]

I'm so distracted by Tim.

[D]

Sorry. Ignore Tim for a second. It appears George Santos basically publicly said he was going to be watching the president's state of the union address from the gallery and then he deliberately missed the speech. He bet on the fact that he wouldn't be in the gallery, missed the speech, and then won the bet. Let's play the video. There's 12 second video of him talking about being in the gallery. But you guys forget I'm gonna be in the gallery. I never said I was gonna be on the floor. Or maybe I'm going to be there

[B]

for the state of the union in the gallery.

[C]

Guys, just chill.

[B]

Trolls, chill.

[D]

All right. Well, it turns out that he wasn't in the gallery. He bet that he would not be in the gallery in attendance. And now people at CalShe are flagging him for investigation and looks like there is a federal investigation into whether he committed insider trading. It's always the ones you least suspect.

[C]

Well, you know, I have to say, kind of on Kelsey because what an idiotic question to have people betting on in the first. Like, you know, I mean, that's very prone to manipulation. And, you know, I, I, you know, if these charges are borne out, I mean, I think, you know, he just can't help himself. He loves you Know, committing crimes.

[D]

Yeah. I guess the question I have is, you know, the surprise I had was that they're even bringing the charges. Right. Like, at this point, I just expected that the justice department would never investigate anyone who had an R next to their name. They've already helped him out once. But maybe this is just so egregious that they can't let this one go. Or he's just a sacrificial lamb. Either way, we'll see what happens with George. Tim, you can speak again because we're going to go to our favorite trio subject matter, Elijah Schaefer.

[B]

Oh, bad boy.

[D]

All right. Well, I.

[B]

What another world. Me and Elijah could really have hung out, had a few things happened differently for him.

[C]

He rolls with a. He rolls with a lot of twinks.

[B]

I know. That's what I'm saying. The things happen a little differently for life in his life, you know, as his dad hugged him a little more, had he felt more fulfilled, you know, doing volunteer work in high school and college.

[D]

You've been a little thirsty about Elijah. I think maybe too thirsty.

[C]

Oh, boy. So, yeah, so this is Elijah Schaefer.

[D]

What?

[C]

I mean, the Peptides are working the. You know, this is Glenn Beck's protege. Former protege, I should say. This guy was going to be, you know, a right wing talker icon. But as we saw over the past year, his marriage imploded. He was having an affair with Sarah Stock, another commentator who's sort of a trad wife. And since then he's really been spinning out. And the latest one was he went on this new kind of rising, kind of groiper verse show called Bear With Me, Chad Champion. Now, Chad Champion is a guy, he's ripped and he, he wears, he's shirtless and he wears a balaclava. And so Elijah went on and he was like, Chad. I mean, he made a lot of crazy sexual remarks about Sarah Stock, but he also said he's like, Chad, I gotta tell you, brother, you gotta get into having more threesomes with your boys. You know, just, just you and a gal and, you know, you're young now. You won't understand the wisdom of this, but it's really awesome to go to town on a gal with your. With your boy.

[D]

I'm speechless.

[C]

And Chad Champion was just hitting this button that was like, bruh, bruh, bruh.

[G]

Here's the last red pill that people don't know what you're thinking. A threesome is. Is not a threesome with your bro and a girl and a threesome with two girls is very different. It's like, it's like, well, I don't want to a girl after a guy's been inside her. It's like, it' guy. It's your homie, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[G]

I just say just threesomes in general. Like threesomes, your homies. Like, it's your boy. Dude, there ain't nothing gay. What if you skinny dip with your boy in a lake or you gay because you're naked together? Like, what do you turn on by your, you know, homies dick in the gym? Yes, you are. No, but. And it's kind of cool because like, you're both trying to a chick and you got your boy there and you're like kind of like, yeah, suck his dick. You know, my boy. And it's not your girl. Right?

[C]

So then this a lot. I mean, he made some truly crazy remarks. You know, Sarah Stock was married, so he was really getting into the relationship, all about their affair and what they did. And then he goes on his show and he said, because he had only called into Chad Champion, so he wasn't on video. And then he goes on his show and he said, this awful man is using AI to impersonate me. It wasn't me. You know, I would never, you know, I would never make these remarks, but I mean, in fact, it was him,

[B]

you know, I'm sorry, I guess I've got a swerve on this one. Is this so wrong? Is this advice so wrong?

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

When you guys were in college, you didn't ever like one of your pals and a young lady didn't have kind of a night on the town.

[D]

No.

[B]

And just say, hey, he's also not in college.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You guys, when you were 40 year old, fathers of two going through a divorce, you've never done this like Elijah.

[B]

I mean, what's wrong with a little male bonding? I think that the culture in Europe is a little different, you know, I think that my mates in London, I don't think they would have looked askance at this. I think that sometimes, you know, they went out to the club and came home and met a nice young woman and the three of them just had a little evening together. And I don't know what's wrong with that.

[C]

Well, he does say at one point, sort of like during the act, you know, like locking eyes with your boy, like, there's nothing better. Make that what you will, because it's

[B]

like kind of a, you know, it's a bonding moment. It's dominance. You know, it's a feeling of like, yeah, you and me, like we're always gonna remember this when we're old, you know, when we're in the old folks home. We're always going to have this moment together, you know, of you and me getting intimate with this broad for the

[D]

sake of not, you know, running away half of our viewing audience. Let me explain what's wrong with this. Treating women as conquests for you and the boys is. Is problematic. And talking about the affair you had with a married woman or an engaged woman and the conquest that was.

[C]

She was married and the pope sanctified their marriage person.

[D]

Right. Yeah, there's, there's problems there on a spiritual level in addition to, well, an emotional one as well.

[B]

I think it'd be seen differently in France. That's all. That's all I'm saying, you know.

[D]

Yes, it would be. It definitely would be seen differently in France, for sure. I don't know if we need to get the, the gubernatorial candidate from Colorado to give exorcisms for Elijah or maybe he should just move to France. I don't know if Elijah's wearing one of those rings that the, the Iowa guy is selling, but there's a lot going on.

[B]

Or maybe island in Albania. We've tied it all together, guys. Thanks so much. Good to see you. It's great to be here. The trio. We're working on it. We're working on a jingle. I'm working on it.

[D]

We should get a jingle.

[B]

I'm working on it.

[D]

We absolutely should get a jingle too. Right?

[B]

I can't speak to the merch, but I'm working on a jingle. You're in charge of the merch.

[D]

All right with that, fellas. Thank you so much. Tim will appreciate you boys. We'll try to do this more often. Elijah keeps on providing some stuff for us, so we'll do it later.

[A]

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