Burden of Guilt: Season 1, Episode 8 - "The Last Word"

Release Date: December 6, 2023
Hosts: Nancy Glass, Tracey Raquel, Bart (Tracey’s husband), and Goldie Hunter (their daughter)

Introduction

In the eighth episode of "Burden of Guilt," titled "The Last Word," host Nancy Glass delves deeper into the complex and emotionally charged journey of Tracey Raquel Berns. This episode serves as a culmination of Tracey's quest for truth and healing, intertwining her personal struggles with her relentless pursuit of justice for her late brother, Matthew.

Matthew’s Exhumation and Its Impact

The episode begins with Tracey addressing her absence during Matthew’s exhumation, a pivotal moment in the investigation against Jan Barry Sandlin.

• Nancy Glass (03:22): "Tracey Raquel, let's start here. You didn't go to Matthew's exhumation, and you were the reason it was happening."

• Tracey Raquel (04:22): "I didn't go to the exhumation because there was already so much media attention... It would be disrespectful to stand on the other side of the cemetery away from Kathy."

Key Points:

• Emotional Turmoil: Tracey chose not to attend to maintain respect and avoid additional media frenzy.

• Media Scrutiny: The exhumation was under heavy media spotlight, complicating Tracey’s decision.

• Legal Ramifications: Assistant District Attorney Leanne Mangone attended the exhumation, showcasing the legal weight of the event.

Mistrial and Media Portrayal

A significant portion of the episode discusses the mistrial and the subsequent media portrayal of Tracey as a scapegoat.

• Judge's Statement (05:34): "There has been an egregious violation of the witness sequestration rule, which in the context of this case, is irreparable."

• Tracey’s Reflection (05:45): "It's just how it was portrayed... the girl who spent all her life trying to get this case reopened just ruined it because she can't follow rules."

Key Points:

• Violation of Protocols: Tracey's inadvertent breach of the witness sequestration rule led to further complications in the trial.

• Demonization by Media: The media painted Tracey negatively, overshadowing her genuine pursuit of justice.

• Jan Sandlin’s Reaction (06:26): "Ha, ha... You were going to win the battle, but I'm going to win the war."

Legal Battles and Betrayal

Tracey reveals the legal maneuvers against her, including a falsified subpoena for her medical records.

• Nancy Glass (06:54): "You were not notified that Corrine Mall had subpoenaed your records."

• Tracey’s Response (07:33): "It felt like a betrayal all over again."

Key Points:

• Falsified Subpoena: The defense attempted to undermine Tracey's credibility by accessing her medical records without consent.

• Personal Betrayal: These actions intensified Tracey's feelings of isolation and betrayal within the legal system.

Jan Sandlin’s Personal Life Amidst the Trial

The episode touches upon Jan Sandlin’s surprising personal developments during the trial, including his marriage.

• Tracey’s Surprise (08:00): "He got married during the trial... the media covered it like it was an event."

• Tracey’s Reaction (08:31): "I just don't understand. That is a whole separate thinking that I am not qualified to discuss."

Key Points:

• Unexpected Marriage: Jan's decision to marry multiple women during the trial baffled Tracey and highlighted his manipulative nature.

• Media Sensationalism: The media's focus on Jan's personal life detracted from the gravity of the case.

Family Support and Generational Trauma

Tracey discusses the role of her Aunt June and the broader theme of generational abuse within her family.

• Nancy Glass (09:34): "Abuse is not a one generation thing. It is many generations."

• Tracey’s Insight (09:49): "Everybody in a family will handle that abuse differently."

Key Points:

• Aunt June’s Role: Initially supportive, Aunt June refrained from participating in discussions about the podcast and show due to discomfort.

• Generational Abuse: The episode explores how trauma and abuse can perpetuate through generations, affecting each member uniquely.

Unresolved Issues and Ongoing Pursuits

Tracey highlights unresolved matters, including the potential involvement of William David Korn and Nancy Tegeder in Matthew’s death.

• Nancy Glass (11:12): "Nancy Teggeter was Jan's first wife. And William David Korn was the police officer that Tracy Raquel believes may have been murdered by Jan."

Key Points:

• Missing Links: Tracey remains uncertain about Ted Golder's whereabouts during Matthew's death and his reaction to the tragedy.

• Continued Vigilance: Despite years passing, Tracey’s determination to uncover the full truth remains unwavering.

Personal Health Struggles

Tracey candidly shares her battle with systemic lupus, shedding light on her physical and emotional resilience.

• Tracey’s Disclosure (16:15): "I was diagnosed with systemic lupus in the early 90s..."

• Goldie Hunter’s Perspective (17:56): "I never met him, but I did feel like he was a big part of my life and watching over me."

Key Points:

• Chronic Illness: Tracey manages her lupus while navigating the emotional burdens of her past.

• Family Support: Her husband Bart and daughter Goldie provide unwavering support, helping her maintain strength and functionality despite health challenges.

Parenting and Breaking the Cycle

The episode delves into Tracey's parenting style, influenced by her tumultuous upbringing, and her efforts to break the cycle of abuse.

• Goldie Hunter (19:00): "I would definitely say my mom is a helicopter parent."

• Tracey’s Commitment (21:03): "First of all, I had to acknowledge my own abuse and then get to a place where I'm comfortable to talk about that with my children."

Key Points:

• Overprotectiveness: Tracey's heightened concern stems from her childhood trauma, leading to a vigilant parenting approach.

• Breaking the Cycle: Despite her fears, Tracey strives to provide a nurturing and supportive environment for her children, ensuring they do not endure similar hardships.

Healing and Moving Forward

Tracey reflects on the transformative power of sharing her story through the podcast, emphasizing healing and self-discovery.

• Tracey’s Revelation (28:58): "This has been one of the single most important things that I have done for myself and my family."

• Bart’s Support (28:40): "Anytime that Tracey Raquel has a moment of guilt, the first thing I ask is, what is it that you feel guilty for? You were the victim in this case."

Key Points:

• Therapeutic Journey: Creating the podcast has been instrumental in Tracey's healing process, allowing her to confront and release longstanding guilt and shame.

• Family’s Role: Bart and Goldie play crucial roles in Tracey's journey, offering love, understanding, and encouragement.

Conclusion and Final Reflections

As the episode concludes, the focus shifts to Tracey's aspirations for the future and the legacy of her brother, Matthew.

• Goldie Hunter (23:40): "My whole life, my mom had always said Matthew was our guardian angel."

• Tracey’s Final Thoughts (28:40): "I have a choice. And I don't have to be anything you say I am."

Key Points:

• Guardian Angel: Tracey honors Matthew's memory, viewing him as a protective presence in their lives.

• Empowerment: Tracey's journey underscores the importance of self-empowerment and the choice to define one's identity beyond past traumas.

Notable Quotes

• Tracey Raquel (16:02): "You'd think you would. Yeah, maybe. It all had to do with people were really afraid of Jan."

• Bart (20:14): "She taught me how a man should be and how a man should treat a woman. Being a good human being, looking out for others."

• Goldie Hunter (19:35): "I couldn’t even go to the gym and leave her in the gym daycare because someone was not nice to her one time."

• Tracey Raquel (28:07): "It's terrifying to heal, because in order to go through that, you are gonna fall apart and people are not gonna stand by you."

Final Thoughts

"The Last Word" encapsulates the essence of Tracey Raquel Berns' relentless pursuit of justice and personal healing. Through candid conversations, emotional revelations, and unwavering family support, the episode paints a poignant portrait of resilience and the enduring quest for truth. As Tracey continues to navigate the shadows of her past, her story serves as an inspiring testament to the power of perseverance and the human spirit.

Stay Tuned:
"Burden of Guilt" continues to unravel in its upcoming documentary series, slated for 2024 on Paramount+. For more insights and episodes, subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or follow Glass Podcasts and iHeartPodcasts on Instagram @lasspodcasts.