← Business, Bourbon & Cigars
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Think about the last bad day you had in your business. I talk about a hard day. We've got those every week. I'm talking about a bad one. The kind where something broke that you didn't see coming. And the size of it was a lot bigger than anything that was on your calendar that morning. Maybe a key person quit on Tuesday or a deal you'd already kind of counted on for the quarter went quiet, stop returning calls. A number came back that MEANT the next 90 days were going to look nothing like the plan that you walked in with. You know, when that landed, who did you call? And be honest about what the next 60 seconds actually look like. You know, did you reach for a name? Or did you sit there maybe scrolling your contacts, trying to work out who would even understand the situation fast enough to be useful? Maybe you had to go find one in the middle of it. Here's what I want to build with you today. And it's not a warning. It's the opposite. The business leaders who move through their worst days, well, aren't tougher than you. They're not luckier. They did one thing on purpose that almost nobody does. They built a small group of people they could call before they ever needed to call anyone. They built the bench in the quarter. Nothing was wrong. By the end of this show, you're going to know exactly how to build that. Your own personal board of five operators or business leaders that you can reach when the stakes are real. This team is going to be assembled on purpose long before crisis sends you looking. I'm not talking about a network or a contact list. Five specific people chosen for specific reasons, asked the right way and kept close enough that the line is already warm when you need it. We're going to cover who belongs on that bench and why. Most people pick wrong. We're going to cover the actual ask, the words you use, and why. A small yes get you a yes when a big one gets those polite nos. We're going to cover how to keep five busy operators close without it turning into one more thing that you have to manage. This is a build. You're going to leave with five seats to fill and a way to start filling them this week. I'm Scott Joseph. This is business. Bourbon and cigars. If you're new here. I've spent more than three decades building companies, acquiring businesses, and eventually building Me Plus Ultra, which is a setting for experienced operators who have outgrown the groups that they came up in. The reason I could talk about this is that I built my Bench, you know, by accident at first, but then on purpose. And the gap between those two versions of me is the whole episode today. So you can build your bench with intent. You know, there was a stretch where every decision in my company ran through, you know, my inbox. Every fire was mine to put out. I had a lot of contacts and almost no one that I could actually call when it counted. And a large part of that was because the people who knew me best, they knew me as the guy who had it handled. I had built a reputation that made it hard for me to ask for help. And the night that finally caught up with me, I didn't have a bench. I had a search party I hadn't bothered to organize yet. And what changed wasn't that I got better at handling tough situations. It's that I started building the table before I needed it. I want to walk you through how that actually happened, because the mechanics are more useful than the lesson. So on this episode, first, I'm going to tell you how a table I built for no strategic reason at all, turned into the most valuable group of people in my professional life and what it accidentally taught me, you know, about timing. Then I'm going to give you the three moves that turn a list of impressive names into a bench. You can actually use who you select, you know, how you ask and how you keep it alive. And then finally, we'll close with the part that most business leaders get wrong about timing. You know, the reason this stays a someday project until the day it's too late to start one. So let's get into this. You know, when everything shut down in early 2020 because of COVID my good friend Sandy Saram and I started talking about how rattled that our clients were. You know, a lot of them ran businesses across multiple states, every state with its own set of rules, all of it changing week to week. They were overwhelmed, and nobody knew what was the right move, you know, that they needed to make next. So we did the only thing that made sense at the time, and we, you know, we decided to help. I'm talking about no, there were no fees, you know, no sales funnels, no plan to get anything out of it. We ran weekly calls and open them to any owner who needed a place to think and work with peers, all going through the same challenges. We pulled in lawyers, HR people, CPAs, sales marketing experts, anybody that we could bring in to add clarity to a situation that didn't have a lot of it and just an open line for people trying to make decisions. Basically, in the dark, you know, and somewhere in the middle of doing that for everyone else, Sandy and I, we noticed how much clarity we were getting out of it ourselves. So we started doing basically our own version. No agenda or structure. Just two friends working through real world problems over a bourbon and cigar. After a few weeks, we bring in Jamil Zavanet, who's my partner in J and L marketing, and all of a sudden, the conversations start getting even a little bit sharper. That small standing get together is what eventually became what we called the fourth box. So, weekly invitation for one more leader to pull up a chair. No cost, no pitch. There was no motive underneath it. So here's the part that matters for you. I didn't build that table because I needed something from it. I built it because a few of us wanted a place to think out loud with people that we trusted. There was no single crisis, you know, driving it. It existed because the company of sharp, honest people was worth having for its own sake. And then the decisions, man, they start coming. Not hypothetical ones, real ones, you know, for me and for the people sitting at the table. And every single time, the line was already warm. Nobody had to be brought up to speed. Nobody had to, you know, earn trust in the middle of a hard moment. The relationships were already real. They're already tested on small things, so they held when something big finally landed on them. Let me give you one example of what that looks like in practice. You know, so, you know, that was back in 2020. A while later, you know, a member named Alex came into one of our sessions, Me plus Ultra sessions. And he was bringing up a six figure decision that he'd been avoiding for a few months. Anyone running a business or a team has dealt with this at some point. The longer you sit on a big decision alone, you know, the heavier it gets. Until it feels bigger than it actually is. And with a few minutes of the group asking him some smart questions, his thinking clears. And he made the call. That choice put more than $100,000 back in his pocket. But that wasn't even the important part. Sitting in that same conversation was another operator. Craig. And what Alex needed most wasn't advice. It was an introduction to exactly the right person who happened to already be at the table. Six months later, that one connection reshaped his entire business. That introduction didn't happen because Alex, you know, went hunting it. Hunting for it, I should say. The day he needed happened because he had been showing up to the table full of the right people long before the day he needed Anything at all. And that's the whole principle. And here's the simple part. None of that got built in the middle of the problem. It got built long before. So when the hard day finally showed up, the work was already done. Right now, you're juggling every decision, putting out fires, and trying to grow your business on your own. Every day feels like a grind. And no matter how hard you push, the breakthrough you've been chasing seems like it's just out of reach. You don't have the right perspect perspective or maybe the network to see the opportunities waiting for you. The Business bourbon and Cigars Leadership Retreat is your chance to change that. Imagine being in a room with entrepreneurs who have already overcome the challenges you're facing. Leaders who have scaled, innovated and found the clarity you're searching for. Through our Mastermind Style sessions, you're going to gain actionable strategies and the opportunity to connect with active MEEP plus Ultra members. These aren't just networking contacts. They are entrepreneurs who think strategically, spot opportunity quickly, and can provide insights that accelerate your growth. This experience allows you to see firsthand how high level leaders solve problems, create momentum, and unlock opportunities. So you can leave the retreat not just with a plan, but with a network that expands your possibilities faster than you ever thought possible. The first five people to apply at me+ultra.com BBC50 is going to receive 50% off their ticket. Don't wait. Secure your spot now and step into a space where real business breakthroughs happen. So let's build yours. I'm talking five seats, three moves to fill them, selection, the ask, and then the cadence. All right, we could talk about the first move, which is selection, right where you got a draft for the seat, not the friendship you want to start with. Selection. Because this is where most people do it wrong. You know, when operators think about who they turn to, you know, they usually default to two groups. It's usually someone one of their closest friends or one of their most impressive contacts. And both of those feel right. And both are usually wrong for this. Your closest friends love you, but loving you is not the same as being able to tell you something hard at the exact moment that you don't want to hear it. And your most impressive contacts, they look great in your phone, but most of them don't know your business well enough to be useful at speed. And a few of them you'd never actually call because you're busy managing how you look in front of them. We've all postured at some point, you know, a Bench isn't picked for friendship or status. It's picked by what each person can do for you. On your worst day, you're filling seats by function. So here are the five. You want one person who has already sat in the chair that you're about to sit in. Someone who has personally lived through the specific thing that you haven't hit yet. Could be that partner split, maybe a lawsuit. How about the cash flow crunch you know, that you begin when you begin to scale. This isn't somebody who's read about it. I want someone in that seat whose own nervous system has been through it, who can tell you what actually happened, not what should have. You also need another person who tells you the truth before it's comfortable. Every operator needs one relationship with no performance or posturing in it. Someone who will say the thing the rest of your world is too polite or maybe too invested to say. You'll know who this is because they're already done it once, and when they say it, you didn't enjoy it. You need another person who can move. Not just talk, but move. Someone who can make a call, open a door, send the right person, or write the check. Counsel's great at times, but on certain days you don't need a point of view. You need a lever. And you need someone whose hand is already on one. Another person of the five who say steady when you don't, when something big breaks, your own judgment gets loud and it gets fast. You start making permanent decisions about temporary problems. The steady seat is the person who doesn't spike when you spike, their paul stays flat long enough for yours to come back down before you do something you can't undo. And then finally, the fifth seat. It's got to be a person who owes you nothing and wants nothing from you. No financial stake in your outcome, no history that needs protecting. Ideally, this is somebody outside your industry entirely who isn't impressed by your. You know, your story or your past success and and has no reason to hand you a comfortable version of anything. A person gives you the cleanest read you'll get because there's nothing sitting underneath it. Five names that you actually talk to will outperform 500 you only collect. The size of your network has almost nothing to do with how supported you are on the day that it matters. The second move you got to make is the ask. You want to make it small, specific. You want to go first. Once you know the five seats, you have to actually bring people into them. And this is where all those good intentions go to Die. The instinct, especially under pressure, is to make a big ask. Things like, you know, will you be my advisor? Can I pick your brain on a regular basis? Would you mentor me? To successful people lose land is weight. You're asking a business, a busy business leader, to take on an open ended obligation with no edges to it. And the honest answer is usually a polite version of no. Or worse, a yes that never turns into anything real. The ass that builds a bench is the opposite. It's small, you know, it's specific and you go first. Small means low obligation, a single conversation, not a standing commitment. Specific means they know exactly what you're asking about, so it's easy to say yes. And going first means you give before you take. You bring them something useful, an introduction, a piece of insight from your world, a problem of theirs that you can actually help with. You do this before you ever ask them to carry one of yours. Give. Watch what happens. It flows back to you 10 times. Think about how the fourth box worked. The ask was never be part of my supportive structure. The S was come work through some real problems with a few sharp people over a bourbon and a cigar. Was small, was, you know, was definitely specific. And it was built around giving people something that was valuable to them. Nobody had to be recruited into an obligation because the thing itself was worth showing up for. That's the model. You're not asking people to support you. You're building something good enough that the support becomes mutual and automatic. And that mutual part, that is the entire point. The strongest version of this isn't, you know, five people supporting you. It's you sitting on someone else's bench too. The reciprocity is what makes it durable. Because a relationship that only flows one direction, man, that always, it just expires, it goes away quietly. The worst part is it usually expires right before you need it. So now let's talk about the third move, right? And that's about the cadence because you got to keep the line warm so it works when it's cold outside. Events you never talk to. That's not a bench. It's just a list of names that gets colder every month that you don't use it. The relationship has to be live before the crisis, you know, or your first call, let's say in two years. You spend the first 20 minutes just bringing them up to speed on what's going on. That's 20 minutes you don't have. It's also 20 minutes they don't want to give, especially when you need advice or an introduction or help right now. So keep the line warm. Do it on purpose with a rhythm that's sustainable, and that way you'll actually keep it. This is not a heavy lift. Could be some type of standing monthly call with one of them. Maybe you do a quarterly dinner that's already on the calendar, so it doesn't depend on anyone remembering to, you know, schedule. It could be as simple as a group thread where you trade the occasional real thing instead of just articles. You know, group text. The format isn't nearly as important as the fact that it recurs without you having to summon the energy to start it every time. What that rhythm buys you is enormous, and it's invisible until you need it. When the bad day comes, and they'll come, the person you call already knows the shape of your business. They know the partner. They know the numbers that you've been worried about. They've watched you make a few calls. So they trust your judgment and you trust their read. You know you're skipping the entire warmup BS and get to the actual problem inside that first 90 seconds. Because everything underneath it is already there. Events you build during the crisis. It's not a bench. That's a search party. And search parties, they're slow, expensive, and you're usually too late. So that's the build. Five seats, you know, chosen by function. A small, specific give, first, ask and a cadence light enough to keep so it keeps your line warm. Here's the part that I promised you, and it's. It's the one that decides whether any of this actually happens. You're allowed to build this before anything is wrong. You don't need a reason. You don't need to be in trouble. The best time to assemble the people that you'd call on your worst day is a day when nothing's happening. Because that's the only time that those people are available to you with no pressure attached. And the only time that you can build a relationship on something other than need. Nobody assembles a board the morning the building catches fire. You build the bench in the quarter. Nothing's wrong, because that's the only time it's actually available to you. Now here's something that I want you to sit with. Building a bench of five is the move. You know, you can start this week on your own. But there's a harder question underneath it. Where do business leaders at your level actually meet the kind of people who belong in those five seats? The person who's already sat in your chair, right, the one outside your industry with no stake in your story. Talking about the steady operator running at a size you're climbing towards. Those people are rarely sitting in the groups you're already in because the groups you're already in were built around people a lot like you. That's a huge part of why we built the business Bourbon and Cigars leadership retreat. It's not a conference. It's not a typical event. It's a small, deliberately built setting where serious operators work through real decisions together over two days and where the people across the table are exactly the kind you want on your bench. The way the work is structured, you're not just solving your own business problems, you're helping other operators with theirs. And you're getting the same in return. And I am here to tell you the relationships that form there tend to be stronger and faster than almost anything that you've built in years. People walk out of that weekend with a couple of those five seats already filled by smart business leaders that they would have never met otherwise. And with the kind of trust that holds, you know, when something hard lands months later. If you've been making, you know, the big calls mostly alone and you felt the cost of not having anyone to call, this is the most direct way I know to fix that. We hold a limited number of spots and the first few listeners who move on this, they're going to get 50% off their ticket to the next retreat. I want you to go to me plus ultra.com bbc50 do it now. Or you can grab the link in the show notes and claim your spot while it's open. One last thing before I let you go. When the bad day lands, you don't rise to the size of your network. You fall back on the five people who already know your business. Cold build those five now while you don't need them. Because the day you need them is the one day you can't build them. I'm Scott Joseph. This has been Business Bourbon and Cigars. I'll see you on the next episode. Cheers, everyone. It.