Story of the Week (DR):

JP Morgan’s news week

The Lurid Lawsuit, Salami Scandal and Trash-Can Thief Vexing JPMorgan’s PR Department AND Meme of 'JPMorgan's HR Department in 2026' Has People in Stitches Amid Sex Scandal and Knicks Bin Incident

She Stole a Knicks Trash Can Off the Street and Lost Her Job at JPMorgan

The Trash Bin That Cost Her Career: Who Is Angie Báez? JPMorgan DEI Executive Fired After Viral Knicks Parade Video

The Trash-Can Thief: Angie Báez, an Executive Director of Community and Industry Engagement at the bank, was captured on a viral video during the New York Knicks championship parade emptying a public trash bin onto a Manhattan sidewalk so she could steal the limited-edition, blue-and-orange Knicks-themed container.

The Resolution: JPMorgan quickly terminated her employment after the video went viral. Báez eventually returned the trash bin and was issued $175 in sanitation fines.

But what kinds of thing DON’T get you fired and get you fined?

In 2023, JPMorgan Chase agreed to a $290 million (1,657,143x) settlement to resolve a class-action lawsuit from survivors of Jeffrey Epstein. The bank was accused of actively ignoring glaring red flags and helping bankroll Epstein’s sex-trafficking operation for 15 years.

Internal documents and later congressional probes revealed that the bank processed roughly 4,700 suspicious transactions totaling $1.1 billion for Epstein. They failed to file a single Suspicious Activity Report (SAR) until after his death.

Who Kept Their Job? Mary Erdoes: The Head of Asset & Wealth Management was fully aware of Epstein’s status as a high-risk sex offender, reviewed his account, and was directly implicated in internal communications regarding his status. She faced zero professional demotions and remains one of the top candidates to eventually succeed Jamie Dimon as CEO.

In 2020, JPMorgan Chase entered a deferred prosecution agreement and agreed to pay a record $920 million (5,257,143x) to settle federal charges of market manipulation.

For nearly a decade, traders on JPMorgan’s precious metals and U.S. Treasuries desks engaged in "spoofing"—placing tens of thousands of fake, deceptive orders to artificially move market prices and maximize their own profits. The FBI stated that traders "openly disregarded U.S. laws."

While a couple of mid-to-high-level traders (like Michael Nowak and Gregg Smith) were later criminally convicted and sentenced to prison, the executive leadership team responsible for supervising them and implementing compliance programs suffered no casualties. Top management stayed perfectly secure, chalking the multi-million dollar fraud up as the work of a few "bad apples."

The Salami Scandal: Veteran wealth manager Brent Bodner was fired by JPMorgan in 2024 after he expensed a $642.50 deli platter (containing wings, sandwiches, and salads) for a Super Bowl gathering at his Beverly Hills home. The bank accused him of intentionally misclassifying a personal party as a pre-approved business meeting.

Bodner counter-sued, jokingly dubbing the controversy the "salami incident." He argued that the event was a legitimate client-acquisition dinner that only two prospects ended up attending, and that the minor coding error was used as a pretext to push him out.

The Resolution: A FINRA arbitration panel sided heavily with Bodner, ruling that JPMorgan acted preemptively out of paranoia that brokers were leaving for rivals. The panel ordered JPMorgan to pay Bodner $4.25 million in damages.

The Lurid Lawsuit: Chirayu Rana, a former vice president on JPMorgan's leveraged finance team, leveled highly salacious allegations against his female supervisor, Executive Director Lorna Hajdini. Rana’s lawsuit alleges he was subjected to a campaign of racial discrimination, severe harassment, and forced sexual relations under the threat of having his career sabotaged.

The Resolution: Rana rejected a $1M settlement offer, countering with a demand for up to $22 million before escalating the fight to court. Both Hajdini and JPMorgan strongly deny the allegations as entirely fabricated, and the legal battle is moving toward a highly publicized trial.

JPMorgan Chase promotes Petno, Rohrbaugh to copresidents, setting up two more successors for Dimon

The Wait to Replace Jamie Dimon Keeps Getting Longer: Another potential successor, Marianne Lake, is leaving JPMorgan, as the longstanding chief executive enters his third decade atop the bank.

How JPMorgan went from 3 female CEO contenders to an all-male succession race

JPMorgan named Doug Petno and Troy Rohrbaugh, current co-heads of the bank's commercial and investment bank, as co-presidents, setting them up as the frontrunners to succeed longtime CEO Jamie Dimon. Their promotions, the bank said in a press release, "are part of the Board's ongoing succession planning process."

Petno and Rohrbaugh were among a handful of powerhouse candidates poised to succeed Dimon, including Jennifer Piepszak, chief operating officer, Marianne Lake, CEO of the commercial bank, and Mary Erdoes, CEO of asset and wealth management.

Marianne Lake, a Potential Dimon Successor, Leaves JPMorgan

One-time Retention and Continuity equity awards to the following Operating Committee members:

Doug Petno, Co-President and CEO of the Commercial & Investment Bank, and Troy Rohrbaugh, Co-President and CEO of Consumer & Community Banking, in the amount of $30M each;

Mary Erdoes, CEO of Asset & Wealth Management, and Jennifer Piepszak, Chief Operating Officer, in the amount of $20M each.

JPMorgan Chase unveils $50 billion buyback, Goldman Sachs raises dividend after Fed stress test

A 6 year study shows which CEOs are pushing RTO mandates: The ones with the biggest egos

Fortune 500 bosses demanding staff return to the office share one trait: narcissism, research finds

A six-year study tracking corporate executives revealed that strict return-to-office (RTO) mandates are heavily driven by narcissism and executive ego, rather than actual employee productivity