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Hey, this is Sharan Srivatsa. Welcome back to the Business School podcast. And in this episode, I'm going to talk to you about something super, super important, especially if you're an entrepreneur, a business owner, a salesperson, you do this often, or you know people that do this, which is they communicate in the way that they like to communicate. They like the salespeople like using the phone, so they call you all the time. Now, modern sales people love texting, so they text you all the time. And it gets annoying. But in the olden days, there's only a few ways to communicate. Maybe you send them a letter, which took a few days to get there, or a fax, or maybe you had the phone, but in today's world, you had so many other methods. Pings, Dings, Bings, WhatsApp, FaceTime, Email, Slack, et cetera. And people have started to choose the preferred way of communicating. And everything else generates irritation and friction for them. If we want to influence people, we've got to get to the lowest friction channel of communicating with them. There's a way to do it and there's a way not to do it. And I break down exactly how, starting right now. One thing is for certain, just because it's tried and true doesn't mean it's working right now.
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So the big question is this.
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Where can you learn what is working right now? The strategies, the tactics, the psychology, and the exact how to how to grow your business, how to blow up your personal brand and supercharge your personal growth.
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B
That is the question, and this podcast will give you the answer.
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A
My name is Sharan Trivata, and welcome to Business school. Foreign rules of communication as we know it have completely changed. Why? Because that there's so many ways to get a hold of somebody. You have the traditional phone call and then you have meetings. That's all there existed in the past, maybe a letter. And then you introduced faxes. Well, there was a rules around these things, which was you had to get more meetings to sell stuff, which is why you knocked on doors. Or you actually found it as a responsibility to respond to a letter if you got it. Maybe a friend wrote you a letter, or a pen pal wrote you a letter, or a business associate wrote you a letter, you feel compelled to respond to that letter. Or if you got a fax message, which I still know somebody who only gets faxes, which is crazy to me, by the way. That's how he controls his life. But the crazy part is you were expected to respond to this message. But in today's world, people don't respond to stuff anymore. You know why? Why? It's because people have chosen their own method of communication. They've chosen, they want to be communicated with in a certain way. They've chosen their primary mode of communication. Like I'll give you an example. I have a friend right now who for this year, he's giving up all phone calls, he's given up all meetings, he's given up all email. And he wants to only run his entire life by text message, right? That's very interesting because I get 3,000 to 4,000 text messages a day and I don't want to communicate via text message. I don't want anyone texting me. And it's really stressful for me to get thousands of text messages because I just can't keep up anymore. I'm very close to changing my number again. Now. The reason I say this is because different people have chosen different ways. I know some people that who's one of a business partner of mine who really loves the phone, he will call him, he will answer within the first ring, he will call you and he'll say, hey, Sharon, give me a call back and I'll call him back. He'll be like, I don't know why I called you. And I'm like, why didn't you leave me a voicemail saying, telling me exactly what this was about? But because he's a phone person, he only wants to be called on the phone, he only wants to talk on the phone. And you may say, well, what's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with that. That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm saying that in today's world, we now have chosen the primary communication mechanism for each of us. I'll give you an example. A couple of my best friends, my business partners and ventures, they only check text messages now. And maybe some WhatsApp, they don't check email. And so for me it's very hard because every time they have a thought, they will send a text message. It can be long, they'll send a voicemail, it can be longer. And with me getting three to 5,000 text messages a day, it's just very hard to keep up because then you go back and forth in the channel. It's sometimes hard to mark something unread because you read it while you're looking and it gets really difficult. And the reason for this is we have to realize that different people have different communication styles. If you emailed the guy that didn't want to be emailed, you probably are not going to get a response for a few days and then you're going to think he's rude. If you called me and you left me a voicemail, there is a 110% chance I am not calling you back because I don't need to do that. I don't want to do that. I hate calling people back. I hate talking on the phone. So then you realize, well, why? How do you get a hold of people in this world right now? Do you just make everything about a phone call? Part number one about this puzzle is you have to understand that we are entering a communication world where every single person has chosen their method, their mode of communication, because keeping up with everything is really hard. And not everybody is good at every channel. So everyone has a favorite channel, and it is our job to figure out what that channel is because then you have a better chance of having better rapport with that person. I know that my dad checks WhatsApp. I could text him on WhatsApp way faster than me texting him or calling him or whatever. I know that. I know that's his primary method of communication. I try to make it easy on him. Well, I can't make it easy on a thousand people. I can make it easy on five. Everyone else has to, you know, kind of work to my way of the world. Now that brings me to point number two. Point number two is it is amazing how many people, especially salespeople, you know, real estate agents, mortgage brokers, coaches, consultants, any salesperson loves calling and texting. They are the masters of calling and texting. But here's the crazy part. Those are the two methods I hate. I don't like texting. I don't like talking on the phone. I don't like either. Now, it doesn't matter what you think. It doesn't matter what I think. It doesn't matter what your friend thinks. You may think it's necessary for business, you may think it, but. But it's not. It's just because you or someone you know likes to communicate by talking on the phone or sending text messages. And I just don't. And how do we solve that problem? Well, here's how you solve that problem. So I have a friend, as I told you, who likes text messages, and I don't. I like email and he doesn't. Now, how do we communicate with each other? We have a good communication system. How do we communicate with each other? Let me tell you. And you're not going to like it. It's really, really simple. When he needs something from me, he uses my primary channel because he knows that the way to get a hold of me because he needs my help, because I have status, he needs something from me, he needs a request from me, he needs me to do him a favor, he needs my help because he needs my help, he has to follow my way. And so he emails me because he knows that if he sends me a text message on principle, I won't respond to him. But if I need something from him, I know that I have to go to his primary method. Now, you may say, well, Sharon, that's really weird because blah, blah, blah, but that's really what I'm trying to tell you, which is the entire point is that the world has started choose mechanism. Now, 20 years ago, if you called me, I had to call you back. If you wrote me a letter, I had to write you back, I had to. Now I don't, because what's going to happen? I lose some business. Great. I just don't want to do it. And there are people like that, There are people like that. There are people who don't respond to email, there are people who don't respond to text messages, There are people who don't respond to callbacks. It's our job to figure out how to get a hold of these people in their primary medium. So instantly calling somebody just because you have their number, instantly texting somebody because you have their number, because if they're not a call person, they're a text person. They're not. I am neither a call person nor a text person. I hate both. So if you call me and you texted me, there's a good chance, a phenomenal chance, that you would never hear back from me. That's why cold callers don't bother me. That's why cold texters don't bother me. That's why people who text me don't bother me, because I just cannot respond because I get way too many calls and way too many text messages, right? And it's important to know this because the next time you don't just say, hey, can I get your number so I can text you because you want to text. They don't. They might not, because if you texted me, I wouldn't respond. So how do you get the right answer? The right answer is to figure out if you need something. You have to use the mechanism that that person's preferred mechanism. And how do you find the mechanism? You ask? You say, hey, I would love to find a way to communicate with you in the best possible mechanism for you. What's the best channel for you? What do you prefer? If you said that to me, I'd be like, hey, can you please email me? I will get back to you right away on email. I'm on on top of my messages. And if you knew that you would be in good graces with me, you would get better responses from me. You'd be, I'd be more helpful and I'd be less stressed and I'd support you more and I'd be more reliable. That's what's going to happen. So instead of just assuming that just because you have a phone number or just because you have an email address or just because you have a text message number or just because you have the WhatsApp or whatever, you just don't assume that that's how people want to be communicated with. I have friends that only want to communicate on WhatsApp. I don't enjoy it as much because it's one more app that I have to work through and I physically can't keep up. And because I can't keep up, I communicate with them less. That's it. It does not matter if they're important in my life. If they are, they're gonna now have to bend to my way. If not, the stress and the friction that's associated with the relationship is so high. Now you may say, Sharon, that's really short sighted. Etc. Now let me answer that with number three. Quick heads up.
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The whole shebang. You get three to four top tier.
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A
Let'S get back to the show. First, I told you that the world has changed and everybody has their own preferred communication method. Second, I told you that just because they are not not a phone person doesn't mean they're a text person. Just because they're a text person doesn't mean they're not an email person. And just because you like something does not mean the other person likes it because it is an accepted mode of communication. It's not. That's what's really important. And here's number three, though. The number three is the person who makes ridiculous requests. So let me explain what I mean by that. I got introduced to a couple of founders of a company and they wanted my help with something, right? And the person who introduced me, I have a lot of faith in them. And so I have an obligation to respond to these entrepreneurs, these founders. And so I responded to the founders and I said, hey, thank you so. And so for the introduction. Hey, founders, looks. I'm super happy to be helpful. Could you guys give me some guidance on what you're interested in and how I can specifically help? And if it's me or making introductions or whatever else, and I'm happy to do it. We go back and forth on email three times and the founder does. They don't tell me what they're interested in. And finally I'm like, hey, guys, I would really appreciate. I want to help you. I want to support you. I mean this from the bottom of my heart. Like, I will do whatever I can to support you. Could you just give me some guidance on what you're looking for? Are you trying to raise money? Are you trying to get advice? Are you trying to get somebody demo your product? Are you trying to sell your, like, what is it? So I can help you either connect you with the right people or give you some guidance or make some introduction. What is it? And the guy who responds has the audacity to respond. He's like, well, you know, we're a cool startup. And so we're just keeping it vague right now. And I go, I don't know how to help you, bro. That's the problem, right? Or I'll get messages from people like, hey, Sharon, could you. I really need to talk to you. Can you give me a call? Which is actually kind of interesting because I don't know what it's about. I don't know if it's urgent. I don't know if it's actually for me. Or anything, I have no idea. And so I'll reply and say, hey, could you tell me what this is about so that I can prioritize and call you? They're like, well, it's really important. And then if it's really important, then I make the call. And then they're like, hey, Sean, so like, you know, what email service do you use? And I'm like, bro, this is crazy. I asked you what this was about and you just asked me to call. You know why? Because you wanted me to call you. Or I'll get a random DM saying, I'm really mad, call me at this number. And I'm like, who are you? And I don't care that you're mad, but maybe I should. And that's cool, I respect that. But the interesting part about this is when someone just tells you to call them, you have no idea what it's about. They don't tell you what it's about. And it's very irritating because I really want to help people, but if they don't give me guidance on how to help them, it's just really difficult. And most importantly, people will. Here's the thing that I hate the most, the multi channel spam. They'll text me, they'll call me, they'll email me, they'll give me a DM on Instagram, they'll give me a DM on Facebook, they'll give me a DM On LinkedIn and they'll, they'll all write the same things and they'll say, can you please call me? Can you please call me? Can you please call me? And then I'll call them and they're like, oh, I forgot what I called you about. And I'm like, you, you messaged me. You messaged about me in 17 places. I thought this was important. So please don't do that to people because it's really, really sad. Right? And the reason I'm sharing this with you is because in today's world with AI and automation and all of that, all of us are in a role of influence. All of us in our role of relationship, all of us in a role of selling or influencing the sale of something. And if you don't get the right communication method with the person, if you can't have a bio, individual model match on what that is, then it gets really hard to build and grow and have great relationships, have a great business. For example, if you, if Oprah was your client and you called Oprah, but she only texted you back, but you still kept calling her and she kept texting you back. At some point you're going to realize that she's not going to talk to you, right? That happens often because salespeople especially don't want to put anything in writing. So they'll be like, oh, let's talk about it. Hey, do you have time for a quick call? No, I don't have time for a quick call now. It's the cooler one. Hey, do you want to hop on a zoom? I don't want to hop on anything because unless you tell me what this is about, I will tell you this. On average 80 to 90% and I'm not joking when I tell you this, on average 80 to 90% of the inquiries that I get for meetings can be solved with a short email or short voice memo. When I say 80 to 90%, I'm talking about thousands of text messages that I get on a daily basis. And all of them want to call, by the way. Right? All of them are like, hey, can you just talk for three minutes? And there's no call that has ever been three minutes long. Because if a call was can only need to be three minutes long, they could give me the heads up on what it's about in one minute. On a voice memo or on an email. I will tell you 80 to 90% of inquiries I can solve, I have been able to solve and I continue to solve either on a short text message or a short email or a short voice memo. The others are can be solved on a short call, but 80 to 90% you can solve without a call or a meeting. Now of course, when you meet somebody new, you have to build rapport. When you, if it's a high stakes sales situation, you have to meet with them. If, if they are too uppity and they need to feel the love and they need their ego stroked, then you got to do videos and you got to call them. I get all that. But still, at the end of the day, you don't realize that you're putting the other person, you're inconveniencing the other person. They don't want to text message you, they don't want to call you. Maybe they only want email or maybe they only want to meet up. We don't have no idea. So we should ask. So my request to you is this. If you want to succeed in modern day communication, you should not just figure out how to get a hold of somebody, you should figure out what their primary channel is that they like to communicate in. And you should Use that channel as much as possible unless they request a different channel. Because especially in sales or rapport building, you want to be in the lowest friction channel for them. If you're in text or calling with me, you're in the highest friction channel with me. Like, you're not going to get any responses. Now if you'd like to do that, go ahead and do that. That's why there are times when I know the person's trying to bait me and I will not respond because they know that they're better off emailing me. And I'm good about being really high priority and very responsive on my messages. So my request to you is this. I see it happen in my own life. I see it happen with thousands of people messaging me even though I've communicated with them. You're probably seeing this too, and someone has to tell you, but no one will. And I'm trying to tell you this. We are now in the age of number one, where people are choosing their preferred mode of communication and it's our job to figure out what it is. Number two is just because you like something doesn't mean they like that. Just because you like the phone doesn't mean they like that. Just because you like text messages mean they like that. You got to ask them, hey, would you rather talk on the phone or would you prefer text messages? Would you rather prefer to email or should we jump on zoom? You got to give them some options. And number three, don't do blankets like multi channel spam or just ask for communication without giving a rationale. Don't you say, hey, Shron, I'd really like to talk to you for 15 minutes. I'm like, I don't know what it's about. Hey, Shron, I'm thinking about xyz. I've done XYZ research. I'm stuck in this situation. I would appreciate a few minutes with you. Do you prefer a phone or, you know, can I send you my questions via. Via email? That would be super helpful because I can be like, oh, yeah, this is actually easier solved by doing X or Y. And I can support you with that. And now it's also you laying out all your cards and being super helpful, right? So if you want to succeed in this modern world, the rules of communication have changed. You got to let people be in the preferred mode. You got to find out their preferred mode. You got to stay in the preferred mode. You got to get out of your preferred mode. And I'd find a way where you can reduce the friction in the right channel for people so that they enjoy communicating with you and enjoy doing business with you. Hey Charon, I have a cool gift.
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For you since you like this podcast. I actually have an ultra super secret private podcast that I make just for my partner companies and the CEOs and influencers that I advise. It's called 10K Wisdom because I try to wrap $10,000 worth of value in every single episode in just under 10 minutes. That's why it's called 10K K Wisdom. It's raw, it's real, it's got no intro or outro or anything like that. It's just straight to the point and to the insights. Since you like this podcast, I think you will like that. So for the first time I'm making it available to you. Just go to 10kwisdom.com the number 10kwisdom.com and my team will activate it for you as my gift. Go to 10kwisdom.com I'll see you there.