A (4:58)
Most people start as songwriters, they write the songs first. And after they've written the songs, they then set it to music. They package the music to the lyrics that they've written. And Dave Matthews told me that he started doing that early on in his career, and it just didn't work. That's when he flipped it. He didn't play by the rules. He started making the music first, the melody first, the packaging first. And then he put the lyrics to that. Dave Mazzi said to me that if you can't solve a problem is because your problem playing by the rules, for him, it was swapping the lyrics and the music. He did the music first and made the lyrics actually map into it. And this is what separates a lot of elite performers. They question the frame itself, not the solution within the frame. The problem is actually not the problem. The problem is how you think about the problem. Because there are assumptions in every single one of our problems. Sometimes you think you need more money or a college degree or good looks or a certain path in life, or you need a book or a celebrity endorsement. Maybe you're required to do certain things in a certain order. What if none of those assumptions were true? I want you to think of one problem that you're tackling right now. Figure out what the unspoken assumptions are. Is it money or connections or knowledge or skill or some random order that society expects you to follow? Maybe even ask AI to challenge those assumptions. We just have to break one assumption and everything changes. The top.01% question all the assumptions they don't accept because we've always done it that way as the answer, they ruthlessly ask why? Why? Every single time. And that's what allows them to break the rules. Now, understanding that the problem isn't the problem. The problem is just how you think about the problem. That was huge. But the third lesson I learned took this even further. And it came from one of the most unexpected conversations of my life. The third lesson came from one of the most important conversations I've ever had with Elon Musk. I asked Elon Musk for advice and what he said changed my life. Like almost every kid, I wanted to go to Stanford. I spent all my time, all my dreams thinking about how I would get into Stanford. I finally made it to the Silicon Valley and I was a young engineer at a new startup and I found a way to get into Stanford's Masters of Engineering program. I was hell bent on not giving up my Stanford dream. So I did both the startup world and Stanford at the same time. I was trying to juggle two things that I wanted the most. I thought that if I went to Stanford, it would change everything in my life. I remember this graduate class who was four year transforms. I was sitting there completely overwhelmed because I'd spent all night writing code at my startup. That's when my roommate invited me to the Mars project where Elon Musk was speaking. While everyone was asking Elon questions about what he did at PayPal, why he cares about Mars, I had a more selfish question. I told Elon that I was always dreamed of going to Stanford. It had been a goal for me for many years. But now that I was building a startup, I didn't know if I could do both. And I asked him, if you were me, what would you do? Elon said, stanford will always be there. The startup won't go build the startup. This is about decision reversibility. Reversing the decision is extremely important. Meaning if you can go and reverse the decision that you're making, then you should just go do it and you should do it fast. But if for some reason that decision is irreversible, that's when you take your time to think about it and that's when you plan. That week I dropped out of Stanford and built my first startup which changed the entire trajectory of my life. Lesson number four came from the founder of Four Seasons, the multi billion dollar hospitality empire. The founder of Four Seasons gave me this advice on how to get anything I want. And it was so simple, but so effective. After selling our first business, I took five years off to teach tennis at different resorts around the world. I went to the Caribbean, to Dubai and on Maui. But first I got into the Four Seasons training program. This was the most elite training program in the hospitality industry. And as a part of this program we got to spend half a day with Issy Sharp, the founder of Four Seasons Resorts. And during that entire half a he repeated the same answer over and over. He said the answer is always yes. Now what's the question? You may think that that's some kind of customer service motto, but actually it was a major life unlock for me. Here's why. The average person is no hinged. They are skeptical of every opportunity that comes their way and they find fault in everything that they see. But successful people are yes hinged. They default to yes. They say yes to opportunities, yes to experiments, yes to challenges, yes creates momentum and this magical surface area for luck. It forces your brain. Instead of asking, can I do this? It switches it to how can I do this? Just by asking how can I do this? It unlocks massive possibility. Which is why when you're yes hinged, you can manufacture a life that you truly want. So how can you apply this to your life? Just for the next week? What if you could make your default answer to any opportunity that comes your way? Yes. Meaning instead of being skeptical about the opportunity, the challenge, or looking at it critically, can you say yes and see what doors it opens for you? Instead of saying can I do this? Can you think about how can I say yes to this? The fifth lesson hit me when I started working at Goldman Sachs. Surrounded by the best of the best at Goldman Sachs, I realized something about high performers that most people will never understand. So the most coveted job to get out of business school was to either go to Goldman Sachs or McKinsey. And that was for good reason, because it was the training ground. It was the gateway for massive learning. And it would unlock a whole new world of opportunities. In fact, I had 39 one on one interviews to get a job at Goldman Sachs. And I was the only person from my MBA class that got into Goldman that year. And here's what I found. Goldman had the highest density of a players, meaning every single person that I met was brilliant in some way. Working at Goldman meant that being surrounded by top MBAs, top athletes, top military professionals and top musicians, everyone there had been screened to the highest standards and had achieved something so special. But here's the crazy part. There were two things that were common to every single person that I met at Goldman. Number one, they had an insane sense of superiority. And number two, they had crippling insecurity because they were suddenly not the best. So these twin forces create a magic cocktail. Some people actually broke under pressure. Some people got aggressive and tried to game the system. But here's what happened to the vast majority. The vast majority responded by supercharging their work ethic. They realized that they had to outwork everyone else if they had the tiniest shot of being the middle of the pack. I felt the same exact way. I worked harder than I ever had before. I came in early, I stayed late. And the craziest part is sometimes I would come in as early as 4am or 3am Sometimes I would stay as late as 1am or 2am and never in my entire time there was I the last one in or the first one out. So how can you implement this lesson in your life? Your environment dramatically influences your success. But it's not any environment. You need the magic cocktail. You need to find a way to put yourself in rooms where you feel better. Both superior that you own being there and insecure simultaneously. Meaning you deserve to be there, but you're also slightly intimidated by everyone around you. This will show you work ethic like you have never seen before and can never manufacture on your own. So that's the magic of the right environment. It forces you to level up. But here's the thing. Even in the best environment, you can still be in the wrong seat. That's exactly what happened to me when I was at Goldman Sachs. Lesson number six was painful, but necessary. And it came from helping a client sell his company for $100 million. The moment I knew I needed to quit my job at Goldman Sachs was right after I helped a client make $100 million. I spent many years on Wall street at Goldman Sachs and at Credit Suisse. It was really exciting, but I felt unfulfilled and everything came to a head. One day at dinner, I was with a client who had built a healthcare company by taking a $5 million SBA loan. He had built it over a seven year period and then sold it for $100 million. The fee to Goldman Sachs at that time was just $1 million. And the client said to me, hey, Sharon, Goldman earned $1 million on that deal. And I know that you worked your tail off. You have to do that 100 times to make what I made. On one deal that hit me really hard. Not just for the money, but for building something special, I found this massive mismatch. I felt like an entrepreneur in an advisor's chair. From that dinner, I just could not shake the entrepreneurial spirit, the entrepreneurial bug in me. I realized that some are born advisors and some are just born to be entrepreneurs. And it's your job to find the path as soon as possible and be extremely honest with yourself. Just like when I was in India and my father said to me no matter how hard I was worked, I would not make it. I had a choice I had a choice to choose a path. And this is your time to choose a path. So how do you choose this path? If you watch other people win and you sometimes feel jealous, especially if you think you could have the same success, that may be a sign. Don't stay in the wrong role because you are good at it. There's no point in getting good at something you hate. Choosing the right seat changed everything for me. But once you're in the right seat, there's still one more thing that separates good performers from elite performers. And that brings me to the final lesson, the one I'm learning alongside Alex and Layla Hormozy. I gave Alex and Layla a framework that took me 10 years to create. What we did next showed me what elite performance really looks like. After Goldman Sachs, I worked with multiple influencers on business deals, helping them build and sell their companies. And during this time, I met Alex and Layla Hormozi while they were selling gym lunch. And in that process, I shared my money framework. I had built this framework on how to think and optimize everything related to money in your life. I put together this entire package. It was hours of material, pages of worksheets, questions that you needed to answer to get your framework right. And the crazy part is they did all the homework in one weekend. That is something amazing because the massive amount of prep showed the quality of their follow through. There were no shortcuts, there was no dabbling. They had full immersion and they fully executed everything that was presented to them. By the way, this is not isolated to high achievers. Let me give you an example. When we did our book launch where we beat the Guinness Book of World Records On Alex's book $100 million money models, we sold $106 million worth of books in 72 hours. I saw the massive prep that went into it. The massive team that was built, the prep was world class. What the world saw was just 72 hours. But what they didn't see was the world class prep that happened just like Alex and Layla had done in the same money framework. This is why if you don't prepare, you just don't care. It's not about capability. It's about showing respect and care. It's about believing that all the work is done before you actually get to the meeting, before you actually get to the, the sales call, before you actually get to that book launch. It's just like practice versus game day. It's the hours and hours of practice so that you can play in the game for that 30 or 60 minutes. Imagine you getting into a meeting with Layla Hermozi and she shows up and she's prepped more than the person actually leading the meeting. That's what real elite performance looks like. So how can you integrate something like this into your life right now? Try this one thing. Look at your calendar and pick one meeting or call or project that you have coming up this week. Imagine if that was your last call or last meeting and over prepare for it like your life depended on it. And you will end up showing up with more research and more notes and more analysis than anyone else in the meeting. And that's the difference between the top.01% and everyone else. These seven lessons took me decades to learn, but you just absorb them in minutes. The question is, which one are you going to apply first? Pick one, master it, and then maybe come back and pick another. And if you want to go even deeper, check out my next video. Hey, this is Sharon. I have an awesome free gift for you just for listening to the podcast. As you may know, I've got a chance to build $2 billion companies the hard way. So if you like this episode, you will love getting the exact playbooks from those wins. It's on my sub stack called My Next Billion. It has the exact frameworks I wish someone had given me when I was figuring it all out. Now you get the real lessons from the trenches as I go for a three peat and build the Next billion. So everything's free at my next billion dot com. Please check it out. My nextbillion dot com.